Maintenance Of Presence Worksheet
REMEMBER:
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Although the ultimate goal of the MOP is to solve a deadlock, the goal of the technique is not necessarily to solve the conflict in the immediate, though it is often the case. The goal is to create the setting for people to be heard and feel complete with the events or a mental image from the past. An agreement regarding the facts is not necessary. Remember that everyone has his or her own perceptions… not the truth or a perfect depiction of reality. It is best if both parties know the technique and agree to follow and respect rules.
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The party that calls for the meeting will talk first and will be identified as party A. Meanwhile, party B must listen to party A with attention and repeat or paraphrase clearly what party A said, to Party A’s satisfaction. When party A has completed his account of the situation, party B asks: “is there anything else”? As long as party A has something to say, the communication continues. Reverse the roles if party B feels the need for it.
During and following a "MOP", all parties commit to confidentiality, unless a clear agreement has been reached.
INTENTION
I want to MOP it up because…
What is your intention for this meeting, for your communication, and for your relationship?
1. OBSERVATION AND FACTS
Here are the facts as I observed them…
Describe what you have observed without any judgment, criticism, assessment, belief or interpretation, simply as if you would be the witness of an event.
2. FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
I felt…
How do you feel with the situation? Which emotions did you experience then, and are you experiencing now in regards to what happened (see listing in the MOP guide)?
3. INTERPRETATIONS & JUDGMENTS
I think that …
What is your interpretation of the event? What do you think about the situation? What is your opinion? What do you think about the other party (mental Image)?
4. NEEDS
My need(s) is (are)…
Behind each negative emotion lies a nonexpressed human need. Name this need that has not been expressed (feeling acknowledge, heard, accepted, part of the team, appreciated, …) Remember a need is always emotional!
5. REQUEST
I request …
Formulate what you request from now on, considering the situation that you have lived. It must be clear, positive, workable and negotiable. This is where you’ll “park” other thoughts that are not relevant to the situation at hand. You can come back to it later.
P Maintenance Of Presence Worksheet
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