February 2014
Inside: Self-love and Valentine Gifts Instantly downloadable
Butterfly You!
Emerge! Express your Unique Gifts in the world
Article
SHANNON R. RIOS Are you single? 8 ideas on how to celebrate St. Valentine
Poem I am
JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO
Ode to your Sacred Self MISA HOPKINS
Are you Facing Illness? Love can Help You!
VALENTINE ART
BY
Inspirational Article Single? Want Soulmate? Married?
Love Yourself Unconditionally Romance Life Openly Receive Love Tenderly
Go from Caterpillar You to Butterfly You! You were born to delight the world with the beauty of your Essence.
Emerge in your true colors. Express your unique gifts in the world. Join the MagicMark your Life Community Your Life-creation Daily Toolkit Manifest your dreams > Embody your Purpose > Express your gifts
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IN THIS ISSUE
I Am Ode to your Sacred Self Illustrated poem by Maria Mar This poem inspires you to name your gifts and value as an exercise to increase self-love. Includes writing instructions. Page 6
Guest Articles
Includes a Valentine Gift!
Julie-Anne Shapiro
5 Top Things to Attract and Keep Your Valentine Valentine Day is here. If you’re single this may fill you with dread as you contemplate yet another year watching couples celebrating together while you wonder when your true love will come along. Here’s what to do instead to have a great Valentine day and attract your Valentine for the rest of your wonderful life. Page 11 Shannon R. Rios
Be your own valentine! 8 ideas on how to celebrate St. Valentine
Includes a Valentine Gift and a discount!
There’s a reason that Self-love Day comes before Valentine Day! Your soulmate is out there, but he (or she) is a Sacred Mirror to you. Therefore, in this Valentine, don’t sulk, complain or ignore the whole subject. Instead, use these 8 ideas to be your own Valentine and ignite your sensuality, self-love and delight. Give yourself the love you want your soulmate to give you, and you will attract the love you desire. Page 16
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Not perfect? Love yourself as you are! Misa Hopkins
Are you facing Illness? Love can help you!
Includes Valentine Gift and Selfhealing resources!
You don’t have to be perfect to love yourself. What if you are ill? Healing is a spiritual journey but we often feel so much pain and frustration that instead of receiving the lessons and growth in our healing we become bitter and cranky, and end up abusing ourselves and others who want to love and support us through it. I’m so grateful to best selling author Rev. Misa Hopkins, a breakthrough healing coach, for this article on how to bring love to yourself and others if you are going through an illness or physical limitation right now. Find out how love and kindness are part of your healing toolkit. Page 20
Featured Inspirational Article Maria Mar
Single? Love Yourself unconditionally Want Soulmate? Romance Life Openly Married? Receive Love Tenderly
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Whether you are happily single, manifesting a soulmate or happily married but in need of revamping your love life, there are three powerful alchemical actions you need to do to in order to be a love magnet! In my life as a Wise Woman I’ve lived and loved deeply. I’ve also struggled with wounds that steal love both from myself and from my beloved. In this article, I go to the deepest well of love and wisdom within me to reveal the three alchemical actions essential for your love life… and to have a life you love! Page 26
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Bonus Article!
Julie-Anne Shapiro
You Want his Love! Sure, but are you Ready to RECEIVE it? One of the gifts of the Sacred Feminine is the Art of Receiving. You heard right! Receiving is a power and an art. Many of us are great at giving and at praying for what we want. But we are not ready to receive it. Get ready to receive love with this bonus article by Julie-Ann Shapiro. Page 38 VALENTINE ART BY
Tanya Torres
Featured Art
I’m doing Julie-Anne’s 14-day “Attract Your Valentine” Boot Camp to attract my soulmate this year. She recommends to place images of loving couples in your home and environment.
What a great idea! I’ve added this sensual art created by my best friend and Goddess artist Tanya Torres. I invite you to do the same. This piece is called Eros & Psyche. See Back cover for link to purchase this art.
This magazine is published by
ShamansDance Publishing & Productions Like the shamans of old, we dance, tell stories and create ceremonies of transformation that empower women and their communities to release fear and limitations and express their beautiful essence, tapping into their full potential. The Dream Alchemist is one of our sites. 219 E 97th Street, New York, NY 10029, USA Tel. 715-303-7326 Email: maria@shamansdance.com
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Editorial This Valentine Issue inspires you to infuse your psyche and your life with the magic of love, starting with selflove. It helps you with the alchemy of igniting love as part of a romantic couple or magnetizing your soulmate.
Maria Mar
Love requires an almost mystical balance. The balance between self-love and love for your beloved is perhaps the fundamental one; and many women suck at it because we’ve been indoctrinated to be selfless. Shannon’s article and mine help you to sustain the self-love essential to enjoy a healthy relationship. The balance between giving our best and accepting our limitations is often challenged by our belief that we need to be perfect. Misa’s article helps you confront illness from a place of love. The third balance we address is between giving and receiving. Here again modern Western women have been indoctrinated into being independent by not receiving (while still giving excessively) and then told that we are assertive when we pursue a man. This combination is a recipe for exhaustion. Julie-Anne’s two articles help you restore this balance by magnetizing a man instead of pursuing him and receiving instead of constantly giving. With these three balances in place, you have a good chance in love!
Find Maria in Social Media
TIPS Download this magazine and schedule the reading into your calendar so that you take advantage of each article. To print: Select the “Scale to fit paper” option, as magazine is 10X13 size.
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I Am…
Ode to Your Sacred Self
By Maria Mar Every year for my birthday I write an Ode to my Sacred Self and entitle it “I Am.” It is a ceremony to name my deepest, truer self and recognize how my Essence unfolds as I grow in my life. This is one of my poems, followed by instructions to write your own.
… A speck of dust flying in the wind. The pollen perhaps that germinates a field. The oxygen atom that revives a breathless man.
I am A tiny drop in the vast ocean. The drop that joins others to rise in a huge wave. The drop that carries food to a school of fish.
How can you know and love your Sacred Self? Go deep into your BodySoul and connect to your inner truth. Find out how to Shapeshift into your Dream in this shamanic journey with Maria Mar. (See Page 9.)
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I am a wee light glowing in the Great Darkness. The light that brings the lost ships to harbor and guides the child safely home.
I am not so big that I burst out of my own skin. Not so small to be insignificant. Not less. Not more. I am enough; perfect, in fact, for the purpose for which I was created.
And while that purpose may not fill a stadium, it feels my heart. And that is a vastness for which no words exist except my own. Maria Mar March 30, 2012 *From Diary of Now
Pin this issue of Butterfly You!
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Writing exercise to create the I Am Ode to your Sacred Self
Use the I Am poem to create a life retrospective and self-celebration, selflove poem. STEP 1: Find something in nature that is very tiny, yet carries a great elemental power, like a drop of rain or snow. Describe its smallness and its greatness. STEP 2: Describe how you are as small and as great as that element. STEP 3: Repeat this process with 3 to 5 elements, each time describing an aspect of your "smallness" (your human frailties, mistakes, limitations) and your greatness (your human superpowers, values, creativity) that is like that element. You can compare yourself to the element (simile) or describe yourself as if you were that element (metaphor). STEP 4: Reflect on the measure of your smallness that helps you to stay "within your skin" and in the measure of your greatness that helps you to transcend any limitation and create new experiences.
STEP 5: End the poem by describing how you are perfect for your purpose
That's it. Happy poetizing!
If you like poetry, you will enjoy my Sacred Poetry Transmissions. You can also subscribe to my free newsletter Life is Poetry.
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Great Self-love Gifts for you and your girlfriends!
Shapeshift from Caterpillar to Butterfly • •
• • •
•
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Close the distance between where you are and where you want to be. Learn the secret language of your BodySoul and discover the source of disease, self-sabotage and other inner obstacles in your body. Discover what's possible in your life with a shift of posture & perception. Raise your vibrations of self love and love for healing or manifesting love. Discover why your actions are ineffective and how to charge your actions with electro-magnetic power. Shapeshift the energy patterns that hold you back. Master the art of transforming your world. Go from Caterpillar You to Butterfly You! Early Bird Special
$99 USD ONE SEAT Use Discount Code: 99EARLYBIRD Valid until 7 days before the date of the event. This is a half-day LIVE online intensive shamanic journey with Maria Mar in a small group setting. Immerse yourself in a deeply relaxing, uplifting experience that generates immediate transformation.
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February 27. 2014 6PM-10PM EST More dates.
Regular Price $125 USD Girlfriends Holiday Special
$170 USD TWO SEATS $80 discount. One payment with one credit card or PayPal Account for the same date. Includes: Live video journeying with Maria Mar, Slide presentation for retention, Playsheets to apply knowledge, Chat Interaction and conversation breaks for individual guidance and Q&A session.
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Great Self-love Gifts for you and your girlfriends!
Great Self-love Gifts This Valentine Day issue features love-enhancing gifts that you can give yourself or your girlfriends. Digital gifts can feel a bit “abstract.” That’s why we’ve created a beautiful line of egreetings featuring Maria Mar’s art. After you pay, you will find a link to our unique egreetings, which you can personalize and send to warm your beloved or friend’s heart before the gift arrives. Perfect for friends that live far or those you won’t see in person… or for an added surprise!
Give & Receive Specials Wherever you see this badge, you can get your own gift when you purchase one for your girlfriends. You download your own gift immediately, then send the egreeting to your friend. We will deliver the gift directly to your friend.
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5 Top Things
to Attract and Keep Your Valentine JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO
Valentines Day is here. If you’re single this may fill you with dread as you contemplate yet another year watching couples celebrating together while you wonder when your true love will come along. Success in attracting true love can only happen from a place of joy and happiness within yourself. So what can you do in order to keep your joy flowing and your attractor power high? Here are 5 top things that work from the inside out to attract your 2014 Valentine – and make him your very own Valentine for the rest of time!
BONUS ARTICLE See Julie-Anne’s generous Bonus Article on Page 38
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Stop wishing – be on a mission!
Are you dreaming, hoping, wishing and longing for love? You can go for years wishing and dreaming. Like most of us, you were probably brought up to believe in fairytales – that one day (if you wait long enough) your prince will come and you will live happily ever after! Perhaps you think that you’re at the mercy of love coming your way – maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Or maybe you think that only lucky people have love.
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A confident, radiant woman who knows her worth is incredibly attractive to a man.
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Love yourself up
At this time of year the loneliness can feel crushing and old negative thoughts such as “Everyone gets love except me” or “I’m not good enough” can set in. But these beliefs actually run your love life. So if you are walking around thinking you’re not good enough or are not lovable, then you will probably meet men who don’t think you are either. A confident, radiant woman who knows her worth is incredibly attractive to a man. Start to catch those negative voices and begin telling your self what you would like your Valentine to tell you; that you’re beautiful, lovable and so worthy of love.
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Stop “doing” and start “being”
Our society teaches us to depend on external factors for love. In other words if only you were slimmer, younger, fitter, had more money, had better hair and teeth or joined the next dating site then maybe just maybe you would “get” love.
But love has less to do with what you’re doing and everything to do with the person you are being. When you stop focusing on finding the right person and instead focus on being the right person, magically the right person comes along. So concentrate on becoming the most delicious version of yourself you can be and you’ll attract a man who finds you totally irresistible.
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Get clear on the type of man you are looking for and what you need in a relationship.
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Be around supportive, uplifting people
When you’re on a mission to become your best you to attract love, it’s vital to surround yourself with positive people who uplift you and make you feel good. Limit the time you spend with unsupportive people. Make sure you don’t engage in negative conversations for example: how men are all the same or love is impossible. These just keep you going in a downward spiral. Tell friends you trust about your mission and ask for their support. Get clear on the type of man you are looking for and what you need in a relationship. Then tell your friends that you’re open to meeting anyone they know who may be a good match.
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Write an Irresistible Online Dating Profile
So now that you’ve focused on the inner you, it’s time to put out your love signal! This kind of profile will eliminate the kinds of men you don’t want and only attract good matches for you. You want your profile to state clearly and confidently who you are, what you need and what you’re looking for, while also being receptive, open, engaging and welcoming to another person. Here are some tips: • Write about your life-values and your life-vision: Shared life-values and lifevision are essential for lasting love so get clear on yours now.
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• Use sensory language: Describe how it feels to do the things you love and enjoy in order to give the reader an experience of you.
• Ask a friend to write about their experience of being your friend: Then use some of these elements in your profile. This gives the reader an insight into what it’s like to be in relationship with you. • Know the top 3 things you must have for it to work: Get clear on the things you MUST have. • Be honest! Don’t lie about your age or use false photos! If you want children, state it clearly. If you don’t, state it clearly. • Your Photos: Use photos that convey warmth, confidence and radiance. Follow these top 5 things now and draw towards you your 2014 Valentine – like a magnet.
JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO is an International Love & Relationship Expert, Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through her private coaching (available via Skype or phone from anywhere in the world), dynamic live events and home study programs.
Sign up for her complimentary Ebook & Video Series: Your 7-Step Path to Mr. Extraordinary on her website: www.magnetizinglove.com
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Great Holiday Gifts for you and your girlfriends!
• Discover the Essential Gifts with which you were born.
This series of three audios takes you into a peaceful shamanic journey that energizes each of your cells with the experience of the intrinsic value of your Unique Essence.
• Love yourself, just as you are right now.
•Know and feel that you are a success right now
• Clarify your life purpose.
•Dissolve the emotional blocks that stand on the way to your success and love •Enjoy peace of mind and relaxation •Achieve a genuine sense of fulfillment •Experience a deep appreciation for the authentic value you bring to the world • Know the value you bring into relationships
Only $45 USD For the set of 3 MP3 audios Immediately Downloadable
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Buy Now! MP3 format 20MB to 49.7MB
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Be your Own valentine! 8 Ideas on How to Celebrate St. Valentine SHANNON R. RIOS
This year, my advice is just focus on loving YOU! You deserve it. I can guarantee you that the more you love you, the easier it will be to attract that next amazing partner. Send yourself flowers! I did when I was single and it was wonderful. I signed it “I love you beautiful girl!� You can make yourself happy.
Do whatever you love to do: get a massage, take a hot bath, take care of you and love you!
Buy a card for your future partner; know they are on the horizon, envision all of their wonderful characteristics and write those down! Believe it will happen and feel the love you will feel with this person.
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Get together with girlfriends and have a wonderful dinner. Send your best single girlfriend flowers so she has a happy day today! Volunteer somewhere in your community today or commit to volunteering. There is nothing like focusing on others to let us know how lucky we are.
Decide to take yourself on a solo journey of self-love – have fun solo, you can take a charter trip or just go anywhere solo! I traveled to Guatemala, Bolivia, Peru, India and Thailand Solo. Best trips of my life!
Do whatever it takes to love yourself more! Whether you have a partner or not, this is the key to happy life and relationships! websites: www.inlovewithme.com www.healthychildrenofdivorce.com www.rioscoaching.com
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My wish for you is an amazing and love-filled Valentine’s Day where you celebrate the most important person in the world – YOU! If I could send flowers to every single one of you I would, but instead I am sending you a BIG virtual hug all the way from Denver, Colorado! Take a deep breath and feel it! SHANNON R RIOS MS LMFT is a Life Coach, Leadership Coach and a Marriage and Family Therapist. Her passion in life is partnering with clients as a coach to allow them to manifest their full potential in the world. She is honored to partner with you on this beautiful journey. Please visit her website www.inlovewithme.com for further information on her self-love programs and books. Her new book, In Love With Me: 7 Self-Love Strategies for Successful Partnerships, Parenting and Performance will be released Spring/Summer 2014. To pre-order a PDF copy, go to http://bit.ly/loveme7
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Your Valentine Gift This heart-opening meditation allows you to: •Work with your heart to receive love and universal messages for yourself. •Open your all-knowing heart and hear it speak to you. It has been useful for individuals that have had or are going to have heart surgery to really connect to their hearts.
“I was surprised that this meditation actually connected with me and enrolled me to envision the strength and love my heart still expresses and feels. My first time ever meditating was quite healing and comforting to me”. 58 year-old, four-time heart surgery patient who previously had never meditated
Sign up to receive this healing meditation and her monthly newsletter.
Yes! I want my Valentine Gift! MP3 downloadable audio
Abundance and Love
Whatever is currently happening in your life right now, if you have chosen these meditations, you have chosen a life of love.
Two for One Deal ONLY $8.99 USD for two MP3 Format downloadable audios
Healing ourselves is the first step in becoming all we came here to be. Sometimes this process involves pain and transition. We can transform this pain into abundant love. You deserve the life of your dreams. The key to manifesting this life is deep self-love. When we love ourselves, we create abundance in our lives and in the world.
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Great Holiday Gifts for you and your girlfriends!
Inspirational Novella
An inspiring story that takes you in a magical journey of discovery to find and heal the wounds you’ve inherited that steal health, wealth and love from you. Break free from your family karma and personal history. A story to change your story and claim your victory! Walk the Sacred Feminine Storytelling Path to transformation.
Only $25 USD
Buy Now! PDF format
It is Christmas, and the shaman prepares to visit her Aunt Emma. Why is she feeling so stressed out? Why is her stomach churning? Why is she forgetting where she put her things? At Aunt Emma’s Night Wolf, the shaman's Power Animal, follows the scent of a Shadow that has been stealing the shaman's health, wealth and love. Once more, she is frustrated by Aunt Emma’s constant refusal to receive help. But this time, Night Wolf shows the shaman her own refusals as the she-wolf tracks down the family karma. As a reader, you witness the multiple dimensions in the shaman's psyche: the Hunter Power Animal, the conscious mind, the Inner Children, the Wise Woman and the Victim who still carries her learned limitations. As you witness the shaman’s struggle, you gain understanding of your own karmic challenge, with a resulting increase in self-compassion.
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Not perfect? Love yourself as you are!
Love can help you! REV. MISA HOPKINS
When you just aren’t seeing the healing process that you would like to see, you can become quite discouraged. That discouragement can lead to you being really hard on yourself, your doctor, your healer, your family or the Divine. It becomes far too easy to blame and difficult to be kind. In fact, we sometimes use the fact that we are not feeling well to be tough on someone else—to be rude or cranky. Somehow we think because we are feeling bad, it gives us the right to take it out on the people around us. I share this from first-hand experience. I’ve been rude to a loved one when I wasn’t feeling well.
Healing and bad feelings are not compatible. And bad feelings make us and everyone around us feel worse.
I wish that I had understood then that my lack of kindness was feeding my illness. It is almost impossible to heal in the midst of frustration and anger.
I remember when my mother was dying. Bless her heart, she was tough on her kids.
In fact, many illnesses are born from negative emotions, so perpetuating them won’t help us find any relief or comfort, and may very well drive away the very people that are there to help us.
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“In fact, many illnesses are born from negative emotions, so perpetuating them won’t help us find any relief or comfort, and may very well drive away the very people that are there to help us.” But when my aunts or the caretaker from hospice came over to help, she was as sweet as she could be, even in the midst of the worst pain. After a couple of days, I decided not to tend to her because my presence only stimulated her frustration. I left her in the care of my aunts for my sake—so that I wouldn’t have to face her growing anger. Given the same scenario today, I would choose to talk with her about my desire to leave and why I would prefer to stay, experiencing our last days together with as much pleasantness as possible. I also understand that if my mother was able to be kind toward my aunts, she might have been experiencing a little more kindness for herself, and kindness makes any experience a little sweeter.
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Rev. Misa Hopkins
In my first career as a Special Education teacher, I spent a year teaching children that were terminally ill. They showed me that a person can be quite ill and yet be quite kind. They were amazingly gentle with others and grateful even as their bodies gave way to their illnesses. Their little souls showed me the power of kindness amidst adversity. If you are suffering from a chronic illness, the illness is there because of something that is out of balance emotionally and physically that perhaps you do not yet remember or have not yet been able to forgive or heal.
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Getting to the place of complete surrender to the Divine is a journey —some days clearer and easier than others. Kindness carries you through the days when you might not feel like you are making enough progress. It is your love that makes it safe for memories and emotional wounds to heal. And it is your love that invites Divine assistance. Anger and frustration with your illness and others keeps away what you most need in order to heal. If anger and frustration is coming up, then it is these emotions that need your attention most‌and your kindness. In the presence of your kindness the healing energy of love can flow.
REV. MISA HOPKINS is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, The Root of All Healing: 7 Steps to Healing Anything, which has been called the first-aid handbook for the new 21st century consciousness. With over 30 years of teaching and training experience, including teaching hundreds of healers, Hopkins is an astute observer of human motivation and potential. Her observations about the healing progress of her clients, students and friends, and her own miraculous healings led her to groundbreaking conclusions about how miracles are created. Free Downloadable Report! Beating the Odds: 10 Beliefs that can short-circuit your Healing, plus regular Inspired Healing messages from Misa Hopkins at: http://misahopkins.com/
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Healing Your Heart Attracting Your Desires- Through the Power of Sound (Sound Healing for Wellness) •
Discover Your Own Sound Healing Power with the Sound Healing for Wellness Audio Course.
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You’ll experience your fundamental or signature sounds for healing and well-being.
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You’ll experience conscious breathing – opening the resonating chamber of your body.
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You will learn how to take your breathing into the cellular-level.
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Powerful exercises you can do at home.
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Inspirational stories so that you can consider what is truly possible.
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Actual case studies as Misa addresses participant’s specific conditions. The original live tele-course sold for $365 to overflow capacity… but today you can receive the recorded Audio Course for just $197… more than $150 off the original course price! Yes! I’m ready to receive 12 sessions, delivered weekly, with over 15 hours of training to develop my sound healing abilities with Misa. I understand that I will also receive MP3 audio recordings of the Breathing Your Way to Physical Freedom Meditation and the first step of the Creation Meditation— The Holding. I understand that I am receiving over $150 off the original price of the live tele-course.
I want to unlock my sound healing powers in 12 sessions!
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Turn your magic on! Click any of the banners below to receive this magical, inspiring weekly free blog newsletters rich in content that helps you embody your purpose, express your gifts and fulfill your goals. The best of Maria Mar’s blog plus exercises! Express your unique gifts and talents in the world to make a BIG difference. Break free from what holds you back. Drop fear and grow wings to embody your potential now. Attract what you want. Learn how to flow the Law of Attraction and other Dream Laws to manifest. Live your purpose full time. Start or grow your purpose-based business. Own your expertise. Serve the world with your gifts.
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Great Valentine Gifts for you and your girlfriends!
Gift one, get one!
Do you Deserve Success? The Answer is Yes! This first book in the Bless your Success Book Series is a portal for women and Spiritual Creatives to walk into Authentic Success.
Only $15 USD
• It helps you find the Unique Essence at the core of your being that ALREADY is the success you long for. I say Yes to success! • It allows you to experience right now that Click to buy this book you are a success and were born a success. Instantly downloadable. • With that experience, your heart is full and you do not mistake what you have or achieve with your inherent worth. Get the Kindle • This makes you fearless and unstoppable, version as you will not weaken with any failure Gift one, get or difficulty. one special does not apply. • This book helps you to spot and release the Prohibitions to Success and Happiness Only which have been laid over you, like $9.99 Cinderella’s ashy rags. Purchase Kindle Edition • When you release these self-diminishing notions that hold you back, you become an Authentic Success right now.
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Digital book. 60 pages. PDF Format. Includes inspiring quotes, journal writing exercises, creative projects and clickable resources.
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Meet the Sacred Storyteller Maria Mar
Enter the story! www.dreamalchemist.com
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Featured Resource
Rewrite
Your Fairy Tales for Success Unleash your Greatness! Discover how your favorite childhood fairy tales reveal the secret "curse" or prohibition that you suffered as a child and that is still enchanting you out of your greatness. Rewrite your Fairy Tales for Success (Unleash your Greatness) is a book especially written for spiritual, creative women who struggle to achieve the success they want and deserve.
Only $25 USD
It presents five archetypal mother-daughter wounds and shows you how they became a "curse" that sabotages your success. It then uses five popular fairy tales to help you transmute those "curses" or wounds into Female Leadership, leading to your authentic, out-of-the-box success. The book combines fairy tales and true stories with self-help insights and shamanic wisdom. It then allows you to enjoy journal and creative writing as well as arts & crafts projects to use your favorite fairy tales as maps to break free. Find the “cure� to the "curse" that's stealing your dreams and sabotaging your greatness!
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BUY NOW!
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Featured Inspirational Article Maria Mar
A woman’s ride from her pressing problems to her brightest potential
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MARIA MAR
Single?
•If you long for love so bad that it hurts, don’t seek it yet. Instead, make a fierce commitment to love
yourself unconditionally just as you are right now.
Soulmate Searching?
•If you are committed to finding your soulmate this year, don’t go in a dating binge. Instead, romance
openly
life
every day, savoring each moment and enjoying the presence of each person you choose to meet and the magic each brings into your life.
Married?
•If you are in a long-term love relationship and you feel that the magic is dwindling, don’t push to “spice up” things. Instead open your heart to receive
tenderly.
love
I am an elder and I have lived and loved magically, freely and passionately. Like a ripe fruit, love has yielded its delicious essence and poured it abundantly into my heart. Today I want to share some secrets it has whispered and others it has roared.
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At the same time, I am a baby boomer who started youth as a feminist, a child of divorced parents and a woman wounded by the arrows of 20th century biases and traumas around love and gender. This personal herstory has left deep imprints that I’ve had to lovingly, painfully remove, like long sharp splinters embedded in my heart. These splinters harden the female heart with lonely beliefs that pit love against freedom, independence or personal power. Our fear shows up in each love story and gives it the same painful ending until we stop believing in happy endings and romance. Though I still believe in romance, my fears and defensiveness have often gone to battle with my romantic, sensual nature. Unfortunately, they have often won.
The Gift in Heartbreak My heart has been broken often. Not only by romantic love, but by filial or family love, friendly love and most frequently by my own faltering self-love. But in each heart break I have noticed a recurrent story. I am suddenly thrown into a situation that breaks my heart. The pain seems unbearable. My heart is stabbed, pierced, shattered and finally broken. The agony is excruciating. I think I’m going to die of heartbreak. But I don’t. Instead, something different happens. My heart is cleansed, renewed, remodeled and expanded into a higher frequency of love.
I have finally understood what love is telling me at the moment of heartbreak. It is showing me something that I did not want to see about my own capacity to love and be loved, to give and receive and to be fully me and fully alive and awaken or to put away pieces of me in order to be accepted, loved or safe.
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In my 20s I used to chase love with the same desperation that I rejected it. The battle between love and freedom was part of it. But the larger enemy in this battle was my utter lack of self-love. I spent my energy defending myself from ghost attacks, mirages of the self-attacks I perpetrated daily against my vulnerability, sensuality and deep empathy. And sure enough, the Men Mirrors showed me again and again how I was devaluing my Female Gifts and trampling all over my heart.
The Love Hunger If you long for love so bad that it hurts, this is not the moment to search for it out there. Or if you do, understand that it’s not about there being no “good men out there.” What is happening is that you are meeting your Sacred Masculine in the men you attract. A good self-love practice for you right now is to understand how your Sacred Masculine responds to your Sacred Feminine. • • •
Does your logical mind honor your heart? Do your skill and choices serve your Soul’s desires? Do you listen as much as you talk? Do you listen to yourself? Your BodySoul?
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•
Do you receive as much as you give?
• Do you feel beautiful, lovable and valuable? • Do you nurture your creativity and trust your intuition? • Do you value your vulnerability or are you constantly hardening up against it?
Vulnerability is the power to dive into your loss to find your love. Make a fierce commitment to love yourself unconditionally just as you are right now, without judgment. Cultivate the gifts of your Sacred Feminine: vulnerability, compassion, love, grace, soul, receptivity, beauty, creativity, intuition and intimacy.
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The men you are attracting now are Sacred Mirrors that show you how your Shiva is treating your Shakti. If you don’t like the outer relationship, change the inner relationship. As you do, observe how your Sacred Masculine reacts to these gifts. •
Is it defensive against your vulnerability?
•
Is it cynical about your romanticism?
•
Does it reproach you when you don’t talk and instead listen?
•
Does it badger you when you don’t argue to win, but try to understand instead?
•
Does it judge your intuitive choices?
Heal your Shiva (Male) Energy and nurture your Shakti (Female) Energy and you will experience a subtle shift. •
You will be less hungry, less empty and more balanced.
•
You will not feel alone in your own company.
•
You will stop defending yourself against the world.
•
You will not be scared of male energy.
•
You will not be at war with it, either.
The Soulmate Search If you are committed to finding your soulmate this year, I have a recommendation. Before you send a call to arms to all your friends announcing that you are seeking to meet available men, spend some months Romancing Life. What do I mean by that? There was a period in my life where I engaged in the terrible practice of Kissing Frogs. This is my name for something women often do. We project our magic, majesty and mojo onto little men who cannot handle or understand our greatness. We dress them up with kingly attire and pour onto them the magic that is ours. We fall in love with a frog that we have turned into a Prince. Then one day, shazam! The frog escapes our spell and we are faced with a frog in our bed.
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Before you invent a romance with a man, spend sometimes Romancing Life, romancing yourself.
•
Not receive his love,
•
Resent and blame him for all of the above, and
•
What magic do you bring to an encounter?
•
Still you won’t do things that make you happy!
•
What magic do you need in life?
•
What are you passionate about?
•
What awakens your sensuality?
•
What makes you laugh?
•
What fills your heart?
The way I healed my Kissing Frog malady was simple, though not easy because it demanded that I change the way I lived to match the way I create as a poet and artist.
•
What brings you delight each day?
•
What are you grateful for?
After a particular bad choice in an almost-date, still in the high of the oxytocin burst; but clear headed, I examined what happened inside me when I was “in love.”
Wake yourself back to the aliveness and wonder you had as a child. Enjoy the adventure of life. Do things that make you happy. For some reason, women tend to deny ourselves the things that make us happy. As long as you are doing this, you will also: •
Attract men who won’t make you happy,
•
Allow your man to transgress boundaries, take you for granted, make you invisible, etc.,
•
Lose yourself in him,
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•
•
I was happy for no reason,
•
I was kinder,
•
I smiled spontaneously and
In the presence of the beloved my body produced huge clouds of oxytocin that mellowed me down, sweetened me up and brightened the colors of every object in the room.
As I observed this state, I realized that the man was not there, and it was still happening. Therefore, I was doing this! The other person was just a catalyst.
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At that point I decided that I was going to live in a state of being in love. But how to do this, how to “fall in love” when there is no man who arouses your passion, when you are alone? I discovered that to be in love is to Romance Life. In Spanish we talk of “El Duende” —the mysterious force that poet Federico Garcia Lorca describes as a halfangel, half-demon that possesses the artist after he abandons the muse, wrestles with his fear and surrenders beyond his skill.
Romancing life is
Suddenly, like a burst of crystal marbles
To see the immense magic
rolling under your feet,
in a tiny coincidence,
they trample your plans.
to dive, heart first, into the sunset
You lose your footing.
drinking its vibrancy and
You fall and fall deeper and deeper.
swimming in the ebb and flow
Any moment now you will break
of its hues.
against the bottom!
It is to caress each perfect vein
Instead your wings open.
in the leaf,
Love shows up as El Duende.
trembling in awe.
You rise.
It is to seize
You fly in the ecstasy
the passionate metaphors
of your unfolding soul.
life throws at you.
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Source your experience from the compass of your Soul and you will Romance Life. •
Do what makes you happy,
•
Fill your heart with the beauty and magic of this world,
•
Dare to dive deeply into your truth,
•
Dare to fly high into your possibilities and
•
Open your heart to let your Essence step into your present.
When you are living in a state of love, you won’t have to seek. Your soulmate will show up. He will be a mirror of the best in you and you will be ready to embrace that mirror.
You Love but are no Longer “In Love” If you let it, routine can settle in. But that routine that you keep using as an excuse to keep romance at bay is not real. It is a mask.
Routine is the facsimile of life we create when we close our heart to life.
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I remember once as a young woman protesting to my beloved because I did not want to fall into any routine in our budding relationship. Wise as he was, he said nothing. He simply pointed towards the sunset right in front of us. At that moment I felt a spiritual slap that woke me up. Without words, he gave me a great gift that until this day paints my life in wonder. Routine is an illusion. Life is a miracle. Every second is a wonder. Like the sunset, life happens every day with its trillion miracles. The sunset is never a routine. Yet, you may walk past it without noticing it if you are obfuscated. There is no routine. It is our senses that get stale, our mind that gets blunt, our imagination that goes to sleep. And then we live in autopilot, wrapped in the veils of routine.
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Yet it is normal and simply human. Dealing with the bills, the kids, the mortgage or the in-laws can take a toll. If you are in a long-term love relationship that’s been going on for a while, you may love your partner deeper than ever; yet you may feel that you are no longer “in love.”
Savor the tiny moments with your beloved. Trace the lines in his face with your fingers and allow the wonder of his life to climb into your nerves. Feel the miracle that brought this man into your life. Look at him. Really look at him. Let his beloved countenance enter your heart. Carve his features into your Soul.
If this is happening to you, it’s probably happening to him, too. But before you try the Kama Sutra or sky diving to spice things up, try a simple, subtle Internal Action.
Dare to stay there, feeling this tenderness, this vulnerability and this tremor in your heart. Stay. Don’t go. Don’t change the topic. Don’t do or say anything. Stay in your heart, with him.
Open your heart to receive love tenderly.
Dive deeply into his eyes until you feel his soul. Open your heart and let him dive deeply into your eyes until you feel him touching your soul and you become one.
Here are things that help you do this: •
•
Walk in nature. Earth Mother’s magic awakens our innermost being to love. Listen to the song of birds, the whispers of trees and the ecstasy of flowers. They will help you listen to your own Sacred Heart.
Dare to open your heart and receive love so tenderly. The truth is that we stop seeing the people, sites and situations that become familiar. We take them for granted. And as we do, our heart closes a little each time.
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We stop kissing, hugging, contemplating each other, enjoying the magic of the moment. We become scared little creatures, moving jerkily from one thing to the other, fearful of resting in the beloved’s arms. We go up into our heads and talk, talk, talk, do, do, do, think, think, think to cover the pain that we feel for abandoning our soul.
When you open your heart to the beloved,
We become habituated to this veil of routine that separates us from the beloved and truth be said, from our own Sacred Self. This makes us fearful of opening our heart again, fearful of being rejected.
that wants to shower you in its passion;
But our heart won’t give up. If we listen, we can hear its cries. Your Sacred Heart wants to be as open as the silence that stretches far into the night while it wraps around your skin, singing you into harmony with creation.
his love will pour onto you, for it is a river that has been struggling to reach you,
that longs to bathe you in its sweet waters. You are blessed with love.
Receive this miracle anew.
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I went from Caterpillar Self to Butterfly Woman. That’s why I can help you in your metamorphosis! I’ve done it so often it’s become a way of life. Here’s my last journey: I went from homeless to the CEO of my own corporation! The .I Ching has a number that means both Emergency and Emergence. Do not confuse where you are at with who you are. No matter your conditions now, you can EMERGE because the Butterfly You is growing within you right now. Maria Mar is the creator of the Butterfly You ! magazine. Here are some juicy bits about her. She is a storyteller. Whether in her writings or performances, her stories are journeys of instant transformation. She is an alchemist that creates ARTchemy; art as alchemy. If you are a crafty chica, you will love the arts & crafts alchemical projects Maria creates to help you express your mojo and achieve manifestation and transformation, as well as specific life or business goals. She is a mystical, ceremonial poet. Her poetry is created as a ceremony for deep insight into your soul and radical healing of limiting patterns.
She is a Woman of Power. She was trained as a shaman and underwent her death and rebirth . She loves dancing, writing and sharing poetry, enjoying the beauty of the natural world and having rich conversations with other Butterfly Beings. She is the CEO and founder of ShamansDance Publishing & Productions.
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Angelina and the Law of Attraction is an inspirational story about a woman who is on the verge of giving up on her dream and unique gifts to “settle down,” make money and satisfy other people’s expectations. Angelina is taking the train to what she believes is her destination, ~her new corporate job~ when she meets a magical lady who guides her to her true destiny. The ordinary train ride becomes a quest for Angelina to find her DreamSelf, the part of her soul that carries her dream and that is now sequestered and rapidly fading. Will Angelina have the wisdom to spot and release the obstacles she has unconsciously created in her life? Will she have the courage and stealth to save her DreamSelf and become her most cherished Dream? Find out! •If you love fantasy or women’s fiction, you’ll enjoy this story. •If you are applying the Law of Attraction to your life, this story is a must read. It reveals shamanic details on how to flow the Law of Attraction using your Sacred Feminine aspect to dissolve obstacles and quicken your manifestation. READ MORE.
Large soft cover, 464 pages
Printed Book $25.00 USD Regular Price
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Bonus Article
You Want his Love! Yes, but are you ready to JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO
RECEIVE
it?
In romantic relationships, there is a giver and a receiver.
Some people call this a pursuer and an accepter, but the central idea is that one person leads the dance and the other follows as long as the second person feels happy and comfortable following. The receiver/accepter can always bow out and stop dancing at any time. Typically, male energy wants to pursue. That’s a man’s natural state. Female energy receives and appreciates. Women have more and more power in the workforce, politically, and personally. This leads to living in male energy that spills over into relationships and short circuits the close, loving bond based on this giving and receiving dynamic with a special man that every heterosexual woman craves. JulieAnne Shapiro
When we women allow someone to give to us and receive their gift with appreciation, a connection forms. Continue to receive, and the connection grows.
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Giving and Receiving: The Core Elements of Romantic Relationships Tapping into your female energy, ask yourself, Am I more comfortable giving or receiving? If giving, what is your underlying motivation for giving? Are you trying to gain love, acceptance and approval? Proving that you are worthy and capable? Protecting yourself from being vulnerable? Do you feel like asking for support makes you a burden to others? Selfsufficiency takes away our capacity to receive and have healthy mutuality in a romantic relationship. Sometimes mother energy also steps in and causes us to over-deliver, to mother and smother our man. This is another way to shut down his natural desire to give to us. Then we wonder why he stops giving and becomes distant. What are your non-negotiable needs? Write them down. Here are a few to get you started: •
I need to be told I’m beautiful.
•
I need to be cherished.
•
I need to be seen and heard.
List everything you can think of, then ask yourself:” For which of these would I rather be alone than do without?” These are non-negotiable for you. These will qualify the man who becomes your man.
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Open up to receiving those nonnegotiable needs by allowing the warm energy of appreciation to flow out of you. Be concise and clear about what you need, and give him a choice to give to you rather than demanding. Ask him, “What do you need from me in order to give me what I need?” Make it easy to give to you. Enroll and inspire him to give to you. Even when we ask, sometimes people can't give us what we need. Maybe the man you are with doesn’t know how to give.
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Maybe he wants to give you things that make you uncomfortable. Don't make that mean something about you. Your value is sure and constant. You are a deeply worthy and beautiful woman with so much to contribute. If he is not willing or able give you what you need, you are simply not a match. There is someone out there who will be excited and “lit up” by you. There is someone who can’t wait to give to you. That person is waiting to meet you too, so don’t waste time and energy on someone who is not a match or on devaluing yourself. Shine your radiant light and you will draw your true love to you. What new choices and actions can you take today to put yourself in alignment with expanding and receiving from that special someone? Would you like help with making new choices and actions right now? Ones that will bring brand new results – an extraordinary, loving partner? Are you READY and WILLING to go for it?
If you are ready, then consider this very comprehensive downloadable program that takes you on a step-by-step journey to love. It covers a wide range of topics – everything from opening up and setting your intention for love, healing past pain and patterns, becoming your best, irresistible and radiant self, navigating dating and the exact steps to determining and attracting your ideal match. Read more. JULIE-ANNE SHAPIRO is an International Love & Relationship Expert, Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through her private coaching (available via Skype or phone from anywhere in the world), dynamic live events and home study programs.
Find the program for you here. www.dreamalchemist.com
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Featured Resource
MagicMark your Life Private Session
Unclip your Wings Ignite the powerful metamorphosis from Caterpillar You to Butterfly You!
Apply the fun, creative, spiritual practices of the MagicMark your Life tm system and principles to your current situation. •Find out how you may still be trapped in the Caterpillar Mindset without even knowing!
•Debunk the stories and myths that are creating a reality where you play small, second-guess yourself and hold back. •Get a firm grip of your Human Creative Palette and learn to use it every day to transmute your obstacles into stepping stones to your Dream. •Discover that you are a radiant gem right now, shake the old dirt from your radiance and be dazzled by a charismatic, expert, bright Butterfly You! •Activate your Personal Compass and move forward! •Achieve this in a month with my ongoing love, support and shamanic tools and teachings from the Sacred Feminine Wisdom School.
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Maria Mar www.dreamalchemist.com
Why curl, hide, can
Master the art of shaping your life into your dream.
and Fly now!
The MagicMark your Life Private Session with course materials and follow-up support allows you to address your current obstacles from a place of power. Activate your Creative Genius to see the life lessons, seize the possibilities and own your authority.
Unclip your wings now. Become Butterfly Woman! In this private Guidance Session artistshaman Maria Mar guides you in the juicy process of using your creativity to transform your current situation, to create new solutions and master the art of shaping your life into your masterpiece.
Includes: •Private face-to-face 2-hour session with Maria Mar* •The MagicMark your Life Course Material
crawl or when you fly!
•One-month private online support and direct communication with Maria Mar. I can only see 10 women each year for this service. Act now.
(* For face-to-face you need internet and a webcam. We use Skype or Oovo.)
$500 USD Click here to register. After registration, you will land on a page where you can book your appointment. You will begin receiving course material and direct communication with Maria Mar immediately.
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Join the MagicMark Your Life Tribe!
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Join the
ButterflyYou Fall 2013 Contest Calling all spiritual, creative women who are working to serve the world through the expression of their own unique gifts and talents. Share your story of how you shed Caterpillar You and embrace your Butterfly Self. YES! I join the
Butterfly You Contest
Click the button to fill out the form and read the instructions and terms.
If you are selected, you receive: •A face-to-face interview with Maria Mar to share your Butterfly Woman Story. Maria will transform this interview into an article and you will be featured in an issue of the magazine.* •A MagicMark your Life Private Session with Maria Mar to explore how to fly higher, strengthen your wings and increase your expressive power to embody your purpose and live ecstatically. (2 hours).
In return, you agree to: You agree to participate in the promotion of that issue of the Butterfly You! Magazine, promoting it in social media and to your list for the launching week. *You need Skype and a webcam for this.
What to do: Submit your Butterfly You story summary in any of these formats: video, writing or audio, plus at least one full-figure, frontal facing high resolution photo. (To give you the Butterfly Woman Wings). You also need to submit your social media, blog, site, articles, videos and stores URLs, so that we can appreciate what you are sharing with the world. Submit your entry, get instructions and terms here.
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Featured Art
Eros & Psyche By Tanya Torres Available in greeting card or art print in several sizes at
Etsy’s Yellow Butterfly Store I want to have these lovers in my home! To celebrate my love/ attract my soulmate