out mag
volume 0
The team:
Editor-in-chief: Annie Lancaster
Head of Design: Sam Beadle
Head Photography Editor: Roy Freiha
Head Writing Editors: Natalie Borton Roxana Becerril
Assistant Designer: Erin Boyle
Staff: Carina Rivera Gemma Valdes Jacquelynn Nguyen Jadyn Arnold Julia Altamirano Kianna Koprowski Lile Kvantaliani Khayri Carter
Submissions and Featured Artists: Brianna Franco Carina Rivera Jadyn Arnold Juan Garcia Julia Altamirano Kelly Kerrigan Liana Marar Lile Kvantaliani Mitchell Mednick Phia Rico Ron Lauderbach Sami Abu Al-Maati
COVER by emma teasdale
Contact: Instagram: @dropoutmagsdsu Email: dropoutmagsd@gmail.com Dropout Magazine prides itself in creating an open and inclusive space for artists and other creatives, if you would like to submit or contribute in any way, contact us.
PHOTO by julia altamirano
A note from the editor:
San Diego State University is a school brimming with untapped artistry and tal-
ented students, based in the heart of a densely cultured region. As I further discovered creative minds on campus, it became obvious that we needed a more accessible and passionate outlet for our work. With the support and contributions of fellow students, Dropout Magazine was born. We are centered around the promotion of arts and culture. Our pieces are made for students, by students. Dropout Mag is not about withdrawing from college. Our team loves college, because it brought us to each other. Dropout Mag is about dropping out of convention and dropping into expression. This magazine is a blank slate that waits for those who feel stifled or crave more than a classroom. I’m not sure if there’s a way to rightfully communicate my gratitude for the staff of this magazine or its future readers. Our little venture has become more than I could have ever imagined, and a bunch of college kids made it happen. Enjoy Volume 0, Dropouts.
Table of Contents
2
Torn
3
Basquiat
5
Fate And The Beatles
9
Me Too
by Jadyn Arnold
by Juan Garcia
by Kelly Kerrigan
by Natalie Borton
Mac Miller 13 Swimming Review by Khayri Carter
17
Falling In Love At Fifty
19
Creatures of Fashion
22
Volume 0 Playlist
by Ron Lauderbach
by Julia Altamirano
by Dropout Team
Interview with 23 Standard Swoon by Annie Lancaster
25
Immersion and Decay
by Mitchell Mednick
ILLUSTRATION by liana marar
1 3
POETRY
torn
a poem by jadyn arnold
1. A girl who is stuck somewhere between good and evil. 2. The men across the bar turning heads, but she notices only her reflection in the mirror peeking through bottles of her favorite poison. 3. She sees a devil but feels like an angel. “Miss can I buy you a drink?” 4. Lust Very intense sexual desire “I burn for you, but you live for me.” 5. “There’s a fire in everyone’s soul. Just a matter of letting it burn,” he said. 6. Some people in this world can see the good in everyone, but have you ever looked a devil straight in the eyes? 7. Une bonne fille a mal tourne. Translated from the French as a good girl gone bad. 8. The good part of her turned to ashes. The chaos in the angel turned her into a demon. 2 4
ART by lile kvantaliani
jean-michel
basquiat
paris, france.
exhibition the fondation louis vuitton, by juan garcia
Nirvana. Only word to possibly come close to describing the state of mind I was in while admiring a legend’s work. Basquiat was the person responsible for my genuine bliss; every brush stroke more breathtaking than the next. How could someone find the absolute perfect balance between an art so simple yet so complex and have it flow brilliantly the way he did. Titled one of the most influential people in art history and for good reason, the experience of euphoria his art made me feel will forever remain deep within my mind and I am thankful to have had the pleasure to witness undeniable ingenuity at its finest. 3
MUSIC
fate and the beatles a piece by kelly kerrigan
“Everything happens for a reason” is one of my favorite clichés for interpreting various unexplainable chain of events. A plethora of instances in my life have helped me justify my obsession with the phrase. It has helped me understand why people walk in and out of my life and how to find the good in bad situations. The phrase has also come to mind when I reflect on the past.
My life isn’t the best example of how true the cliché is, but the story of the four boys from Liverpool who became the legendary Beatles, is. The union of John, Paul, Ringo and George is one to thank for creating a change in the history of music. To this day, people are still talking about their contribution to music and all of their success trickles down to the small events that happened throughout their existence.
The story of The Beatles has been told many times but it all begins with the birth of rock ‘n’ roll. Rock ‘n’ roll in the 1960s was not about making money or about 5
“ music It is this power of
that can change
the world
and that will live
on forever.
”
being famous; it was about passionate people deciding that they no longer cared
about what society thought of them. Musicians abandoned their old personas and embarked on a exotic journey filled with psychedelia, spirit, and love that would change the history of music.
Rock is the type of music that will take you away when you need it the most without ever having to leave your bed. Music is rooted in passion and stories, heartbreaks and losses, happiness and feelings of euphoria, and sometimes it is about nothing at all. No matter what day, what feeling or what need is present in the moment of our lives, music has the power to enhance it, clear our minds and change our perspectives. It is this power of music that can change the world.
The Beatles mastered this Rock ‘N’ Roll spirit. They took the listeners of their early song, “I Want to Hold Your Hand” with them on their journey and when The Beatles 6
ART by brianna franco
released “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds,” their fans were all for it. Characters, movies, and conspiracy theories were made, they fell in and out of love, they traveled, they fought, and they broke up. And still after all this time the magic of The Beatles still lives on.
I began listening to the Beatles at a young age—my Papa was obsessed with them. Something I had always known and never thought twice about was that The Beatles were the greatest band ever. During my teenage years, I found the same obsession for The Beatles that my grandpa had during the 1960s. It has always amazed me 7
how The Beatles have never lost the slightest bit of fame even throughout decades.
The Beatles made and still make every listener, including myself, feel at home. They have a song for every emotion that remind us that even the biggest rock stars feel the exact same way we do. They drew moments from their personal experiences and translated them into music in the most natural way despite the differences between each Beatle: Ringo wasn’t the greatest drummer, Paul was too controlling, John was a narcissist and George was quite simple, but the talent of each unique individual sparked a fire in their songwriting that spread across the world. Their ability to master simple lyrics and melodies that would evolve into unique songs that were never heard before is something that musicians are still attempting to do.
So how does this band, if drawn together by fate, explain the cliché that says that everything really does happen for a reason?
If Paul hadn’t joined John in The Quarrymen—whom George impressed with his simple chords on the guitar and whom Ringo eventually met after departure of Pete Best—The Beatles would have not existed. If the boys’ dentist didn’t slip acid into their coffee mugs at a dinner party, many of their songs wouldn’t exist. If the girls of Beatlemania didn’t obsess over the songs, the fans would not exist. It was a series of individual events that collectively helped create the songs and the albums that shaped the Beatles into the everlasting image of the four English boys who hopped on the train to fame and sat back for the ride unsure of what the final destination was.
No matter what happens in my life, regardless of inevitable change, I will put on The Beatles and remind myself that every single thing really does happen for a reason; because if all of the instances that happened to The Beatles had not occurred, they would have not become the legendary Beatles, they would instead, have remained the four boys from Liverpool. 8
#metoo: what we leave behind (what we forget) by natalie borton
My phone at home. His manners at dinner. My opinion over the conversation. His control over the last few drinks. My place in the crowd. His mother’s advice. My strength against his words. His gentle touch on my lower back. My direction of where I was going. His place in the crowd. My dress on the floor. His shirt off his back. My grip on the bedsheets. His gentle kisses. My words I said. I said no. No means yes? 9
ART by phia rico One year ago, the American actress, Alyssa Milano, tweeted: “If you’ve been sexually harassed or assaulted write ‘me too’ as a reply to this tweet.” Over 500,000 replies were tweeted within 24 hours. In the past 12 months, the hashtag has been tweeted 18 million times, according to Keyhole, the social media analytics company. Sexual violence on college campuses is pervasive. The statistics are growing, and more stories are being told. From www.rainn.org, “11.2% of all students experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence or incapacitation. College women ages 18-24 are three times more likely to experience sexual harassment.” These victims are our best friends, siblings and strangers on campus. For further help or to share your story, contact the National Sexual Assault hotline: 800.656.HOPE(4673). RAINN | The Nation’s Largest Anti-Sexual Violence Organization, www.rainn.org/statistics/campus-sexual-violence.
some people in this world can see the good in everyone
jadyn arnold p7
How could someone find the absolute perfect balance?
juan garcia p3
MUSIC
mac miller
“swimming” review by khayri carter
“The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.”, said American author John Green. It has been eight years since Malcolm James McCormick, a.k.a. Mac Miller, burst onto the scene with his mixtape, K.I.D.S. In that span, we have seen many dark nights in Miller’s life. Then tragedy struck on September 7, 2018. On this day, Miller died by ingesting cocaine laced with Fentanyl at the age of 26. Just 35 days prior, Miller released his fifth, and arguably his most complete studio album, Swimming. Swimming was the perfect way to cap off Miller’s short but action-packed career. Although he joined the saddeningly long (and growing) list of gifted artists who die prematurely, Miller connected with each fan. From his days as a high school kid trying to be cool, to his struggles with addiction and depression, it was a pleasure being along for the ride. The world waited two years, for what would turn out to be Miller’s s final work as a rapper. His most recent work, prior to Swimming, came with the 2016 studio release of The Divine Feminine, of which critical reception was generally tepid. The album featured chart-toppers, but despite these highs, the album as a whole left something to be desired. Critics and fans could see his attempts at experimenting with complex, quasi G-funk beats, however, any truly meaningful bars were masked by 13
ART by brianna franco
continuous sexual innuendos. As Keith Harris of Rolling Stone put it, “Miller… often ends up sounding like a well-meaning kid who can’t stop putting his kicks up on the fancy furniture.” Some of this untapped potential stemmed from distractions in Miller’s personal life. As the title suggests, much of the album was about experiences Miller had with women throughout his life, and meaning he derived from those relationships. It’s interesting to note Miller was in the midst of a far-from-private relationship with singer Ariana Grande. The connection famously ended with Grande publicly dumping Miller because he continued to struggle with addiction. Miller’s clashes with drug addiction was also well-publicized. Following the release of his debut studio album Blue Slide Park (2011), the Pittsburgh-born rapper admitted that he began using cocaine and Lean, a concoction involving prescription-strength cough syrup. This, however, was not his first exploration into the drug world, as Miller mentioned in an interview with Noisey, VICE’s music channel, that he started drug use when he was 15 years old. Miller’s struggle with substance abuse seemed to go handin-hand with his battles regarding depression. In an interview with Billboard, Miller said, “That was the plan [with my song] ‘Faces’ (2014). ‘Grand Finale’ was supposed to be the last song I made on earth.”
14
PHOTO by carina rivera
Honesty Originality
sentimental value
soulful
funky 9.5/10 7
Prior to Swimmings’ release, Miller faced questions on whether his experimental music that strayed from the “frat-rap” that made him famous, could be successful. Building off his trials with The Divine Feminine, Mac cracked the code with Swimming. Beginning with the first song and through to the last, Miller inserted a subdued cadence over smooth and soulful tracks. There are moments where Miller seemed to be happy, now that he left his addiction and accompanying sadness behind, and other times when it sounds like he has dug himself into a deeper hole than ever. On “What’s the Use”, Miller brought in the talented Thundercat. He laid down a baseline that could make even the most rhythmically-challenged person dance. Although it was one of the highlights of the project, the meaning of this borderline-disco record remains ambiguous. While many might conclude a chorus that follows, “What if I don’t need it? There’s just something about it”. The chorus was about drugs, or it could also be easily inferred that this song is referencing love and women. Miller, following a laid back flow over some cloudy synths in “Self Care,” discussed his acceptance of his troubles.“Swear the height be too tall (Yeah), so like September I fall,down below, now I know that the medicine be on call.” On the other hand, once the beat switches to a much lighter, almost space-themed beat halfway through, it seems Miller is speaking to us as if he was already dead. “I got all the time in the world, so for now I’m just chillin’. Plus I know…it’s a beautiful feeling, in oblivion.” The enigmatic content continued with the music video, which featured Mac smoking an entire cigarette inside a coffin. The project closes with subdued guitar chords coupled with a nasally synth that sound like the soundtrack to a dream. In “So It Goes”, Miller assumes the role of the teacher, as he uses this track to ‘show you the ropes’ of maneuvering through similar trials and tribulations in the game. The sing-song chanting at the end of each chorus serves as a happy ending to this emotional rollercoaster of an album. Despite having to say goodbye to one of this generation’s most beloved characters, Miller fans will have album they can cherish forever. 16
POETRY
falling in love at fifty
a poem by ron lauderbach
I laughed. Not so loudly the whole classroom heard. A tiny laugh like a chortle from way down the hallway, an unstifleable spoonsize chuckle signaling-----Breathing the bouquet of your hair can make me fly. 17
ILLUSTRATION by lile kvantaliani
18
creatures of fashion
by julia altamirano
Fashion is at the forefront of our identity. We wake up every morning just to stare into the depths of our closet wondering what outfit that will translate into “this is me”. To some of us this is second nature. For others, this is the most stressful part of our day. Then, there are those of us who just hope what we’re wearing is clean.
Style takes from
Nevertheless, our style is one of the ultimate identifiers to the visual world. Creatures of Fashion is a style diary that showcases the wardrobe choices of everyday people.
came from, but
all places. Your collection takes an eclectic turn when you have forgotten where each individual piece together the pieces tell the same story
In addition to having their photos taken, subjects were each asked to give a word that they feel captures the spirit of their style.
19
Do you dress comfortably? Do you ride a skateboard? You must be a cozy thrasher!
Taking ordinary materials and manipulating them in a way to be unordinary creates something so unique to you that you have to make up a word to describe: sim-plexity. Fashion adheres to no labels. The fluidity of life can be translated into style and is empowering.
By modernizing the old, our closet takes on a more retro feel.
20
PHOTO by brooke wilson
Dropout
Spotify: @dropoutmagazine
mag volume 0 playlist 1
4 Leaf Clover
11
In Cold Blood
21
Hmu
2
Off and On
12
Wait a Minute!
22
List Of People
3
Shove it
13
Hot Hands
23
Whoa
4
Season 2 Episode 3
14
Show Me Love
24
Hookers
5
Rose Golden
15
Who Hurt You?
25
Prune You Talk Funny
6
He’s Heating Up!
16
Out Of Your League
26
Lying Has To Stop
7
Tyrant
17
oasis
27
Bloo
8
Heat Wave
18
Consideration
28
Skin
9
Safe
19
On My Mind
29
I Don’t Know You
TEMPTATION
Does This Ski Mask 30 Make Me Look Fat?
by Ravyn Lenae, Steve Lacy
by SALES
by Santigold, Spank Rock
by Glass Animals
by Kid Cudi, Willow
by HOMESHAKE
by Kali Uchis, Jorja Smith
by Snail Mail
by Bay Ledges
Is It Too Much 10 To Ask For
by Jordan Maxwell, Shiloh
20
by Alt-j
by Willow
by Darius
by Hundred Waters
by Daniel Caesar
by Blood Orange, Steve Lacy
by slenderbodies
by Rihanna
by Jorja Smith, Preditah
by Joey Bada$$
22
by Space Jesus, Clay Parnell
by Tame Impala
by Inner Wave, Banes World
by Tierra Whack
by Gus Dapperton
by Soft Hair
by zack villere
by dijon
by The Marías
by JPEGMAFIA, Heno.
FASHION
an interview with standard swoon:
sami abu al-maati
brings revamped vintage
clothing brand to sdsu by annie lancaster
What is your brand? Tell me about it.
Standard Swoon. We have 50 percent vintage and 50 percent clothing I’ve
made or reconstructed. When did you decide to start selling clothes?
Last summer. This summer I’m coming out with more stuff; I haven’t put any-
thing up on the website because I’m waiting, I don’t think it’s where it needs to be. Right now, I sell through Instagram [direct messages]. Who or what inspires you?
I don’t really look at fashion magazines or anything. Alexander Mcqueen—
he isn’t inspired off of other fashion pieces but, instead, off of history. He did a Highland Rape collection and everyone in England knew what it was about and it brought back memories and evoked emotions. 23
What is your favorite vintage/thrift store in the San Diego area?
Goodwill. Salvation Army.
Who would you deem your intended audience?
People who skate and people who listen to the same kind of music as me.
Beach House, Homeshake, Current Joys, Surf Curse, stuff like that. What is the hardest part of running your own clothing brand?
It’s expensive to buy the fabric and have someone make it or help them make
it; I used to do it in Kuwait because I used to live there and it’s cheaper there. How would you like to expand your brand in the future?
Making more clothes and actually marketing properly. A lot of art pieces I
have I’m [going to] put on clothes. What is your favorite fashion piece you own?
A jacket I made for Beach Fossils. I got this old trench coat and I cut it up,
then dyed it, then painted on it. It’s a bit extra. Check out Standard Swoon on Instagram: @standardswoon
immersion
& decay by mitchell mednick
I anticipate to double-take a city’s natural beauty. Discovering whether my wondering friends wither away their bodies as much as city does to its own. The process includes immersing yourself in the dangers of risk and opportunity. Placing value upon the decay and allowing people around you to appreciate what life they bring.
27
PHOTOGRAPHY
28