5 Myths About Menopause

5 MYTHS about Meno(pause)

Shift your mindset and reclaim your sex life, lose weight & feel better than you did in your 20’s!

YOUR SACRED SECOND ACT

by Dr. Sharon Stills

5MYTHS ABOUTMENO(PAUSE)

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Dr. Sharon Stills

Copyright © 2023 Dr Sharon Stills

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5 Myths About Meno(pause) contains general medical information The medical information is not advice and should not be treated as such You must not rely on the information in this book as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about any medical matter, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice or discontinue medical treatment because of information in this book

Meno(pause)

The time when we stop getting our periods, get old, hot, fat and cranky, right? Absofuckinglutely NOT!!!

MENO(PAUSE) – The time when we get to step into a new sacred chapter of our lives, a time when we get to pause and evaluate our mind, body and spirit’s journey, and a time when we get to heal, slow down or even reverse the aging process and discover our RED Hot Sexy gorgeous self! This is not the beginning of the end. This is the beginning of your sacRED second act.

We tend to under celebrate in our society. Only having special occasions for birthdays, weddings, funerals. Forgetting that events like divorce, a new job, kids leaving for college, and Meno(pause) are also important events to be celebrated and marked with rituals. And these rituals can be anything that is meaningful to you

For me personally, having had my kids so young I never got to travel like I wanted to and the wanderlust inside me is the real deal so, any chance I get to celebrate it typically involves travel. Like when I decided to climb Kilimanjaro for my culmination of Meno(pause) and the universe couldn’t have supported me more perfectly. Exactly 365 days after my last menstrual period at the age of 49 I stood on top of Kilimanjaro exhausted beyond belief but cementing into my brain, body and soul that this next act of my life was going to be extraordinary and that nothing could stop me.

Now I don’t expect you to literally climb mountains like I do (unless you want to!) -that’s my jam but, I want to know what is your Kilimanjaro? It could be learning to cook, writing your memoir, starting a new business, taking up a new hobby, a spa weekend, a wild party with your girlfriends or so many other things. I just want you to carve out the space and time to do something that marks this as an extra special time and proclamation to the universe that the best is yet to come! Dream as big as you want because we are going to bust those myths that are getting in your way right now! that’s me!

Myth#1

SUFFERING & SUPPRESSING THE SYMPTOMS OF HOT FLASHES, BRAIN FOG, AND INSOMNIA ARE A NORMAL PART OF MENO(PAUSE).

Can you relate to any or even all of these symptoms?

Hot Flashes, Insomnia, Weight Gain, Memory Loss, Brain Fog, Fatigue, Hair Loss, Low Libido, Inability to Orgasm, Painful Sex, Vaginal Dryness, Urinary Incontinence, Breast Tenderness, Loss of Bone Mass, Anxiety, Depression, Headaches/Migraines, Joint Pain, Burning Mouth, Digestive Issues, Itchy Skin, Dizziness, Palpitations, Allergies, or just not feeling like yourself!!!

Symptoms act as the body's signals that something is imbalanced. Some refer to Hot Flashes as Power Surges, embracing a positive perspective on discomfort. However, it's crucial not to endure or suppress these symptoms when they indicate hormonal imbalances, dehydration, stress, or other underlying issues. By addressing the root cause, you can achieve rebalance and experience a profound sense of well-being, ultimately feeling truly fantastic.

I like to use the analogy of a baby when thinking about our symptoms.

When a baby cries we go on an inquiry of discovery to find out why they are crying. Wet/Dirty Diaper? Hungry? Lonely? Cold? Once we figure out what is wrong (the root cause) we attend to it and then the baby stops crying. We certainly don’t tell the baby to SHUT UP! We are kind, compassionate and in problem solving mode. Well it is the same thing when your body is crying aka symptomatic.

But we are taught in society to tell our bodies to SHUT UP, to not be kind and compassionate. To take a pill and make the pain go away. So, even though you are a Menopausal Goddess I want you to honor the little baby in you and meet and greet your symptoms from now on with a welcome mat, a compassionate inquiry into what your body is lacking and what it needs.

Mindset Shift #1:

My symptoms are welcome visitors that guide me to the true cause of imbalances in my body. I’m committed to feeling sexy hot instead of sweaty hot in my second act.

Myth#2

SEX IS NOW ALWAYS PAINFUL, RARELY OCCURS AND ORGASMS ARE A THING OF THE PAST.

You might be reading this and thinking but Dr. Stills sex is painful and I haven’t done the horizontal tango in a loooonnggg time so how is this a myth???

Here’s the thing:

Sex doesn’t have to be painful and it doesn’t have to be infrequent and it certainly needs to include the option to be able to orgasm if you choose to. Up to 45% of perimenopausal/menopausal women complain of painful sex.

The most common cause, although not the only one, of this is plummeting estrogen levels which result in a dryness, thinning and sometimes even bleeding of the vaginal tissues. There is no denying that this hurts, but it is absurd to think that it always has to be this way.

As a physician, my job is to help my patients feel good and enjoy life. And in this case, their sex life! The following information should be taken to your personal physician and discussed with them. If they are uneducated in this area, unwilling to learn or discuss with you then perhaps it’s time to get a new doctor!!!

There are many available products out there such as moisturizers and pharmaceutical estrogens.

I’m NEVER a fan of pharmaceutical hormones as they are foreign molecules to your body and don’t belong there PERIOD! Premarin comes from PREgnant MARe's urINe. I won’t go into detail about the inhumane treatment of these beautiful animals but just state the simple fact that horse urine belongs in horses so unless you are a horse reading this please stay away from the Pharmaceuticals that are made from them.

Now you can use a moisturizer such as organic coconut oil and that will help with lubrication but I still find that it doesn’t do the job for many women and it certainly just acts as a band-aid not really healing the tissue.

But the slam dunk in my practice pretty much 100 percent of the time is giving a woman Bio-Identical Estriol directly into the vaginal canal. Bio- Identical meaning the same molecular structure as the hormones your body naturally makes, even making it a safe option for those who are afraid or have been told they can’t use Estrogen.

More about this in Myth #5 so keep reading!

Once you have the pain handled that should help at least part of the rarely occurring sexual activity.

If you have a partner, it is up to you and your partner to come together and discuss that you want more sexy time in your relationship. Have you grown so far apart from each other that you are just cordial roommates these days? Do you have too much on your plate that you just don’t make time to get naked together anymore? The truth is when you prioritize having sex it will actually become a priority and you will start having it more often.

And sex can be defined in so many ways – I want you to start thinking about it more expansively. It can be intercourse leading to an orgasm or not.

Orgasms are important and if you’re like most women, you likely need to have your clitoris involved. Did you know that the clitoris contains 8,000 sensitive nerve endings which is double the nerve endings in the glans of a penis? So this lovely structure was definitely created with one idea in mind - pleasure - that’s it!

The sole purpose is for YOUR pleasure!

But not every sexual experience has to end in orgasm. The take home message here is you should be able to have one if you choose to and sometimes you will choose to and sometimes you won’t. Just like sometimes you will choose intercourse and sometimes you will choose other sexual experiences such as oral stimulation, manual stimulation, massage, solo-masturbation, mutual masturbation, sensual poetry readings, hot steamy bath tubs.

Use your imagination, explore and create intimacy.

Mindset Shift #2:

I’m a RED Hot Sexual being able to experience sexual pleasure with myself and/or with a partner no matter what age I am. Sex does not need to hurt, I just need to find the right solution for me.

Myth#3

I’M ALWAYS GOING TO BE FAT & TIRED.

Just because you are getting a year older with each circle around the sun doesn’t mean that you have to feel achy, exhausted and old. Nothing infuriates me more than when a doctor doesn’t take your complaints seriously and just tells you it is part of getting old and you just have to deal with it or take a pill to make it go away.

It is true that sometimes as you age your metabolism shifts and you can’t just eat whatever you want anymore. I know for myself and many patients all I need to do is look at a brownie and it seems to add 3 pounds to my thighs. Can you feel me???? I can also tell you that I now weigh less than I did when I was a teenager and that the majority of my patients can make a similar claim.

Often your sex hormones need to be balanced, your thyroid supported and your adrenals nurtured to bring about the weight loss you desire.

Or maybe you are carrying a toxic load of mercury, lead or other heavy metals and the innate intelligence of your body is keeping the weight on you because that is where the body stores the toxins to keep them sequestered away from your circulation.

Maybe your sleep habits need to change or your water intake needs to increase. Maybe you need to do some emotional work to see why you use the weight as a way to protect yourself from emotional pain. Maybe you eat too fast or at the wrong time. Maybe you eat the wrong foods. Maybe you need to change up your exercise routine or teach your body to sweat. Maybe your liver is congested or your microbiome is out of balance.

You can see there are so many options and I have just listed a handful here. So for me when working with a patient it is not that there is no hope or nothing to be done it is actually quite the opposite. There are so many avenues to explore and my job is to figure out which ones are the most likely to be the root cause so we fix your concerns sooner than later.

Even if you are a little heavier than you would like to be, it’s still a beautiful practice to love yourself right where you are. Yes, my arms jiggle a bit but they give fantastic hugs, have carried around two children and now embrace my darling little granddaughter. The people that matter won’t care if there is a little extra wiggle. Our bodies are fantastic vessels for our spirit and we owe it to them gratitude and grace no matter what the scale says.

Now, of course, if you are way overweight that affects your health and is a medical condition that I recommend rectifying. Obesity is associated with higher risk for breast cancer, diabetes, heart disease and inflammation in general. Just don’t get stuck in the I’m too old to lose weight or it’s too difficult to lose weight myth. If it’s difficult that is because you are out of balance – once your body is in balance again your weight will adjust.

And if you are tired much of what I wrote above can be the culprit for your fatigue. But the first place I always start is with your sleep. If you are not sleeping then we can’t even begin to address your energy levels because it’s not possible to have energy without a good night’s sleep.

Mindset Shift #3:

I’m not condemned to be fat and tired just because I’m in Meno(pause). I can be an energetic, in shape menopausal goddess.

Myth#4

This is one of my favorite myths to bust.

ALL HEALING COMES FROM A PILL BOTTLE.

Even as a Naturopathic Medical Doctor patients come to me because they want off their pharmaceutical medications with their laundry list of side effects or they are naturally orientated to holistic solutions. However, the majority of my patients still come in with the mindset that a pill will fix them. In this case they want a vitamin pill or an herbal pill.

Now I don’t want to mislead you because I take probably close to 100 vitamin pills a day and prescribe many things to my patients but this is not where all healing begins.

Many times I won’t even give vitamins to a patient until they make the necessary lifestyle changes.

As I mentioned above in Myth #3 if you are tired it’s not necessarily about giving you a B12 shot, or a swig of Ginseng if you are not sleeping. We have to get your lifestyle in order, get you sleeping properly and then see if you are still tired.

More than 60 percent of the time you won’t be and the solution will not have come from a pill but from your bedroom.

Some of my other most favorite healing remedies that have nothing to do with a pill bottle include time in nature, living your passion, sweating daily, chewing your food slowly, spending time with people who love you and you love them back, playing with babies and/or puppies, lots of sex, dancing, breathing , meditating...

Mindset Shift #4:

I do not need a magic pill to heal me. My lifestyle choices are the foundation of my healing.

Myth#5

HORMONES CAUSE CANCER

Let's bust an important myth together! It's true that synthetic pharmaceutical hormones can increase the risk of cancer.

However, when I talk about hormones, I specifically mean bio-identical hormones. In my professional experience of over 20 years, I believe that bio-identical hormones do not cause cancer. In fact, they can even help in treating cancer. It's the imbalance of hormones in your body that can potentially lead to cancer.

Estrogen has gotten a bad rep from people who don’t understand how it actually works.

Some forms of estrogen are actually breast cancer protective. It's not only about the individual hormones themselves, but also about how they interact with each other. It's important to consider how your body processes and eliminates these hormones. All of these factors play a role in your hormonal health and overall well-being. And let me tell you bio-identical hormones when wisely prescribed and monitored are huge players in having an amazing Second Act.

If I could only bring one thing to a desert island to support my health, it would definitely be my hormones. Now do you really think if hormones caused cancer that I would be grabbing them????

Mindset Shift # 5:

Bio-identical hormones are the only hormones I allow in my body. I don’t listen to mainstream media regarding hormones. Hormones Heal!

About Dr. Sharon Stills

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Dr. Sharon Stills is a Naturopathic Medical Doctor who believes that the Mind AND the Body must be treated as one in order for you to enjoy genuine health, true happiness and to experience your deepest passions each and every day while enjoying the gift of being alive She helps menopausal women to pause and evaluate life so they can live the second act of their story stronger, healthier and sexier while aging backwards. She’s successfully helped thousands of women transition gently through the different stages of their lives with all natural methods Most importantly, she is a champion of you living your best, sexiest life, especially during your sacRED second act!