E T H E E V O LV I N G W O M A N MAGA ZINE
FROM HOMELESS TO
MILLIONAIRE
WITH GRACE VANDECRUZE AUTHOR OF ‘HOMELESS TO MILLIONAIRE’
SOMETHING BOLD SOMETHING CUTE SOMETHING PATTERNED COMFY TOO! pg. 36
LEVEL UP FOR FINANCIAL DOMINANCE
pg.44
HOLIDAY ISSUE 2020
HOW TO PROTECT AGAINST HACKERS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
CHRISTMAS CAKE & HOLIDAY TREATS
6 TIPS ON CREATING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
SELF PORTRAITS
Dear Aunty Mae
4 6
Learning to Bloom Where You Are Planted w/ Stacy Ann Campbell Marshall
8
Editor’s Note
3 Tips For A Healthier You w/ Donavon Rolle Christmas Cake w/ Jessica Wilson A Different Approach to Goal Setting w/ Akousa Edwards
TABLE OF
CONTENTS
6 Tips On Creating The Most Beautiful Self Portraits w/ Keva Creary
12 16 20 24
Exclusive Interview w/ Grace Vandecruze
30
Something Bold Something Cute... w/Anastarcia Palacious
36
How To Protect Against Hackers During The Holiday Season w/ Fareedah Shaheed
40
Holiday Eats & Treats w/ Laurel T Hamilton
43
Level Up For Financial Dominace w/ Nathaniel A. Butler
44
CONTACT US T HE EVO LV IN G WOM AN M AG A Z IN E E:
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W:
www.duquesadean.com
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EDITORIAL D U Q U ESA D . D EA N Editor
CONTRIBUTORS Stacy Ann Campbell Marshall Donovan Rolle Jessica Wilson Akousa Edwards Keva Creary Anastarcia Palacious Freedah Shaheeed Laurel T. Hamilton Nathaniel A. Butler
SUBSCRIPTIONS SU B SC RIB E O NL I NE www.duquesadean.com
FOLLOW US HERE
EDITOR’S NOTE T’is the season to be jolly! Despite facing a world pandemic, we can still creatively enjoy a festive time with our family and friends. Albeit, we may have to think outside of the box on how we connect with each other safely and we may end up spending lots of time spreading joy virtually. The important thing is to create lasting memories with those you love. Regardless of how you spend the holidays and who you spend it with, spread lots of love and joy; the world needs more of it. The year 2021 will be what we make of it. We can still create the future of our dreams. Crisis brings opportunities. We must see what they are (vision), create a plan of action (blueprint), then act (execute). How are you planning to win in 2021? Winning and success requires consistent daily action, resiliency, continued personal growth, connecting with the right people and being of service to others. In this edition, we had the opportunity to interview businesswoman Grace Vandercruze. This POWERFUL interview provides insight to her success as a black woman but also shares her journey to living her best life. Grace is Founder and Managing Director of
Grace Global Capital, LLC . “Vandecruze’s career has been dedicated to the relentless mission of advising her clients in effectively executing growth strategy and managing change. Her purpose is to assist organizations, teams and leaders in realizing their highest potential by charting a range of possible futures, rather than one predetermined outcome.” Grace shares that “Our biggest challenge and best opportunity lie in shifting our mindset. Our future chapters must be filled with abundance, investments, wealth, mastery, grace, love, and legacy.” We also feature for the very first time our Ask Aunt Mae Column. Aunt Mae shares practical advice for women seeking answers about various aspects of their lives. Enjoy this edition and thanks for evolving with us. Oh, to purchase your copy of the Evolving Woman Twenty-One Day Devotional & Affirmation Guide click here: https://bit.ly/38uGDtO Happy Holidays & best wishes for a Prosperous New Year!
Duquesa D. Dean Editor The Evolving Woman Magazine
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PHOTOGRAPHER : WALDIR ÉVORA
D
DEAR , e a M Aunty
I am a young single woman and I must say Covid-19 has been hard on me. With all the restrictions in place, my social life is dying. Also, when I do go out I have to wear a mask. How am I supposed to find or connect with my Prince Charming in this season?
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DEAR Dear Evolving Woman, Covid-19 has changed the dating game but rest assured all is not lost. People are still connecting, dating and getting married in the midst of this Pandemic. The first thing I want to say to you is keep your standards high despite what’s going on. Every time you go out to conduct business or errands groom yourself like you did before Covid-19. If the eyes are the window to your soul, remember your eyes will never be masked on your errands or at work so make eye contact with people as you interact with them. Secondly, your attitude matters. Men are hunters and as hunters they adjust to the environment. Guys won’t be able to see your MAC Ruby Red Lipstick behind your mask in this season, so they will be more attentive to your shape, outfit, tone of voice and generally your behavior as you interact with others. Remember to be kind, professional, and calm. Staying safe is not a permission to be rude.
Thirdly, let’s not get so Zoomed out that we avoid social events on social media platforms. This is a great time to join like minded clubs and movements on social media. Accept the meeting invite to the game night or interesting webinar and show
up; video on, well dressed and ready to participate. While the number of guys participating may be limited, you are not seeking every male’s attention. The one who is looking for you will find you, even if it’s on a zoom call. Finally, although I am a little skeptical about dating sites, couples have claimed to have found their true love on these sights. My only advice here, which also applies to the other advice I have given so far is to proceed with extreme caution, let wisdom be your compass. If a guy is really interested in you, no need to rush anything. Take your time and get to know him and please do not ignore the warning signs.
Dear Aunty Mae, I am a little bit nervous about my future amid this Pandemic. The world’s economy seems to be spiraling downward and I just recently lost my job. What advice do you have for me in terms of keeping hope alive? Dear Evolving Woman, Many global economies are challenged at this time but the world has not ended yet and as
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long as you are alive, your story is still being written. Unemployment is always a good time for us to reevaluate what we really want to be doing. We sometimes forget the value of time because we often undervalued our time by selling our most productive hours to employers for minimal wages. Now that you are back in control of your time use it on self reflection, levelling up, soul care and nurturing important relationships. Write down goals, and then begin to develop a step by step plan how you will accomplish these goals. This may mean returning to school. Online training can be done at a minimal cost and from your desk. You can also spend your time volunteering or bartering what you can do with someone who can teach the skills needed for your new job. Also there are several businesses that can be started with minimal start up capital such as, Project Management, Virtual Office Assistant, Essential oils and soap maker, App Developer, Coaching, Image consultancy and web design are just a few. Whatever you do in this season. Don’t lose hope, keep praying, keep preparing and keep pushing !
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Learning to Bloom Where You’re Planted: An Island Wife’s Journey To Finding Beauty In the Unexpected
I am often surprised at how much my social media audience wants to know about my life, living in The Bahamas!
Written By: Stacy Ann Campbell Marshall
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IT’S BETTER IN THE BAHAMAS
I was born in Nassau. My Mom came home to the Bahamas to have all her children. But my Dad’s job moved us all over the Caribbean and eventually took us to the US. I was a baby when we left The Bahamas. As a young adult and career woman, I moved home to Nassau from New York City and two years later, when I was about to return to the US, I met my husband in a beautiful twist
of fate...and like they say, “The rest is history!” My husband and I have a special bond. We genuinely LIKE one another and those who know us say, our “love is palpable”. Having both married late in life, we are 100% okay with being our authentic selves and it works for us. Having said all of that...marriage hasn’t always been an easy road for us. I’m sure anyone married
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understands. To make matters more difficult, I never expected to live in The Bahamas permanently. I always thought we’d stay a few years, but make America our full-time home. Well, things changed. My husband looked up and his reputation as a trusted Chiropractor was growing and his practice expanded. We had our first child and suddenly we were setting down roots. BUT, I didn’t expect
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this! I got a job opportunity in the States and so our son and I packed up and “went ahead” to get settled. BUT, we never got settled... We moved back home to Nassau and truth be told, my attitude wasn’t always the best and I couldn’t really find my footing. A few years passed and I got pregnant with our second son and at the same time, got laid off from my job. Not long after he was born, my job offered me a position in Tennessee and I took it... AGAIN, the plan was for us to go ahead and get settled, but that was 2016 and a new President had been voted in and life in America seemed not so promising. Two years passed of us “commuting” back and forth from Nassau to Nashville. One day, I woke up and decided that life in America, without the love of my life and without my sons having their Dad on a daily basis, was NO kinda life at all. Soon after, a position became
available in Nassau and within weeks we had moved back home. BUT, my mindset had changed. I decided that this time, I was going to change my attitude and embrace all that is beautiful about the land of my birth, my job, my life and mostly my marriage! I decided to make the MOST of this UNexpected reality, rather than complaining about it. I read a quote that said, “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted!” That quote changed EVERYTHING for me! I decided to BLOOM where I was planted! Reality is, I have a great life! I live in a place that people save for years to visit. I have two healthy children and a husband that not only loves and adores me, but who allows me to be the high strung, free spirit that I am...and he celebrates me! 2020 brought in COVID-19 and our new reality, yet as a family we have survived it well!
This time of quarantine has solidified our bond as a family, we’ve been able to spend uninterrupted time together, celebrating 12 years married, and realizing how much this commitment is really worth. Though laid off from my corporate job, my baking business has increased and blossomed. I was offered and accepted a cooking segment on a local TV station and the response has been amazing. I’ve had time to develop a few other projects I had pushed to the side and are now in the “works”. The best part is that I realized that attitude dictates so much of how we handle life. Sometimes we just need to shift our view and look at things from a different perspective. Follow a “Day in the Life of an Island Wife” on Instagram and Facebook and join me as I celebrate life, good food, cool products, exciting travel, fun shopping...and the joy and beauty in the UNexpected!
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3
TIPS HEA YOU
With the current pandemic, the year reflect and work on things that we no may feel that we have plenty of time goals, right? Written by: Donovan Rolle
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PS FOR A ALTHIER U
r 2020 has provided many of us much time to ormally would not have time for. As a result, we to put some things in place, like setting fitness
While this article may seem like another expert added to your list, I assure you that I am not giving you another mundane routine, but instead three effective tips that will successfully help you navigate your fitness and wellness journey for a healthier you. Those three tips are: Find your why Attach your why to a who and Be SMART.
1. Find Your Why Finding your why should be the foundation of your journey. Our why provides the understanding for our goals. Your why can vary from cosmetic reasons to health reasons. Oftentimes our children do something out of the way and we ask, why? Our mate does something disappointing and we ask them, why? We ask “why� because we require a deeper understanding of their thought processes with the expectation that we would glean a greater level of comprehension of the reason for their actions. Once we find our why, we glean a better understanding of ourselves and will be less likely to allow external factors to sway us from why we are on our path. It is important to remember that our why does not have to be static. It can vary depending on the goal and our continuous evolution.
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So, we begin, moving from one fitness craze to the next, watching YouTube videos on diet and exercise from various experts in the field, then we get into action beating our bodies up from the hour long workouts or 30-minute HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) routines. We do all of this just trying to achieve our fitness goal. What we do not realize is that the information overload from what we have listened to or watched creates chaos. After taking action on the things we heard, and having very little results to show for it, we feel overwhelmed and perhaps even discouraged.
2. Attach Your Why To a Who A few examples for “your who” include and are not limited to your ex, yourself, kids, or a work challenge. Interestingly enough, in the same way aspiring kids post pictures on their walls of their favorite superheroes and the way we have photos of our dream house, cars and mate (lol), is the same way we need to embed in our minds the picture of the person for whom you are doing what you are doing. As sure as bread is grocery, you are going to encounter some days when you want to give up on your fitness journey; where you just want to quit the workout; where you want to push that healthy meal aside for a deep-fried ketchup and hot sauce lathered meal with an extra-large serving of French fries. Nietzsche said: Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue. In these moments of fatigue there is no better time for the image of the who to flash in your mind along with you verbalizing the reasons for your why.
3. Be SMART Vague… Arbitrary... Impractical goals aren’t going to get you to the finish line. Your goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely (SMART). Let’s use weight loss as our example for the SMART acronym. If you want to lose weight, you have to be specific about the amount of weight that you want to lose. Otherwise, the loss of half of a pound would mean that you obtained your goal.
message (intensity) and are notoriously late to service (time). Therefore, if you only workout and eat right on the days you feel like it, with minimum effort for a fraction of the time, then you will fall short of your true fitness potential. If you are SMART and attach your why to a who, I am confident that you will be a healthier person: mind, body, and soul.
With weight loss, you can set a long-term goal and set smaller incremental goals along the way. In this way, you can celebrate milestones along the path to your ultimate larger goal. A scale is a good measuring tool for weight loss. I like to lump the next three together, because I believe that all goals are attainable if we are realistic about the goal and the time frame. It is important to remember the three pillars of fitness: exercise, nutrition and rest. We all want to live a healthy lifestyle and to have a level of fitness that aids in our ability to perform the tasks that life throws at us, and subsequently enjoy a better quality of life. It is for this reason, we need to ensure that our Frequency, Intensity and Time (FIT) are in alignment with our goals. You cannot become a better Christian if you worship once every quarter (frequency), pay attention to only portions of the
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CHRISTMAS IS FOR C... Looking for an eye catching table decoration for your Christmas dinner table or dessert station? How about this festive Christmas Cake? This eye catching beauty will not only thrill your guests, it will also delight their palate!
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CHRISTMAS
M
C A KE
y name is Jessica Wilson and I love to create art. I fell in love with art from a very young age and would draw or paint on any surface that was available to me. Art was my best subject while attending school and remained a constant hobby of mine afterwards. In 2010, I discovered my love for cakes. I brought cupcakes to work every day, which would place a smile on the faces of my peers.
FOLLOW JESSICA HERE
After being satisfied with my recipes, I decided to take my baking career up a notch by working on the design aspect of my cakes. After sleepless nights and countless tutorials, I became more confident and free with my approach to cakes, with the help of my ‘artsy’ background. I became inspired by cake artists such as Faye Cahill, Jessica Harris and Maggie Austin to name a few. I grow inspiration from my clients, the theme of the event and the colours chosen. Like everyone else, I am constantly learning and aim to improve with every opportunity that presents itself. To make this Christmas beauty, here is what you will need: 6” filled caked on a 10” cake circle White buttercream Red buttercream Green buttercream Small round tip Small star tip Piping bags Spatulas Waffle ice-cream cone Sprinkles Turntable (optional) Comb scraper
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Have fun creating it! For more ideas follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/takeabitebahamas/, visit my website takeabitebahamas.com or email me at hello@takeabitebahamas.com
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Step 1: Frost cake with white buttercream and smooth with the straight side of your scraper. Step 2: Using the comb side of your scraper, take off excess buttercream to make “stripes” around your cake. Step 3: Fill a piping bag fitted with a small round tip with red buttercream. Step 4: Fill “indented” stripes with red buttercream. Step 5: Using the smooth side of your scraper, take off excess red buttercream. Keep smoothing with scraper to reveal your stripes! Step 6: Stick ice-cream cone in the top middle of your cake. Step 7: Fill your piping bag fitted with a star tip with green buttercream. Step 8: Starting from the bottom of your cone pipe stars all around and keep piping until the entire cone is covered. Step 9: Using tweezers, stick sprinkles randomly on your Xmas tree. Step 10: Using the rest of your green buttercream, pipe stars around the base of your cake and decorate with additional sprinkles. Step 11: You can top your tree with a fondant star and add additional treats to your cake!
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Akosua Dardaine Edwards
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A Different Approach to Goal Setting Written by: Akosua Dardaine Edwards If anyone told me that in 2020 that my life, that our lives as a global collective, were about to be drastically altered, the first thing that would have come to my mind would have been that that the change would come from us deciding to live our lives more mindfully. Nothing could have convinced me that our collective lives would have been rearranged by a global pandemic. One that changed practically everything that we once knew, believed and placed stock on from travel to entertainment to how we work and learn. The end of 2020 is fast approaching. As I sit and reflect upon this year, what comes to mind is the
beauty of how we have adapted to these extreme unprecedented circumstances. How many of us have found a way to take the lessons that life has given us and use them to strive for a better world? Despite the fear, hurt and uncertainty, we remain willing to live, to strive for a better world and to come together to do this. I also reflect on whether I would want to continue my ritual of setting goals in the same way. Traditionally, I would set aside quiet time to set SMART goals. These goals would include time frames, achievement of specific targets and happy smiles as I tick them off upon achieving them.
2020 was supposed to a year of growth and transformation, for me, for many. I had SMART goals, I was ready for the grind, and for the hustle of achieving all of them come what may. Who knew that the pandemic would use 2020 as its time to make us pay attention and change the way we lived? Looking at my SMART goals for 2020, I note for example the entries “travel to South Africa to speak at Conference– May 2020” “grow my business by 5% by December 20th “and I smile. I smile because the international borders of my country remain closed up to now. Clearly I cannot and could not travel to South
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Africa! Does this mean that the non-achievement of our goals point towards us as failing? Even before 2020’s pandemic, I would question myself on what non achievement of these well thought out SMART goals meant. Many times the questions led to feelings of not-enoughness and guilt. To the actions of placing so much emphasis on achieving the goals that those same actions led to lack of balance. The imbalance of placing work and the grind before self and health, to a space of asking myself well…”what’s next?” to working so hard to achieve these goals at the expense of everything else! How many of us look towards tangible results and externals to validate our worth, ignoring how we feel? Until now…
A new ritual for goal setting…….. The new ritual moves us from setting SMART goals to a focus on how we want to feel; how we want to live our lives in 202. What are the actions we need to add or subtract from our lives to feel these feelings? The new ritual involves choosing four main areas of our lives, I have chosen Business and Professional Relationships Health and Well Being Family and Intimate Relationships Spirituality. In each quadrant, the question to Self is, “how do I want to feel? How do I visualise 2021? And what would it take for that to happen?”
Part 1: HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL IN 2021? WHAT WOULD MY LIFE LOOK LIKE IN 2021? Business and Professional Relationships
Health and Well Being
Valued Knowledgeable Abundant Growing Content Courageous
Vibrant Flexible Abundant Content Adventurous Fit and Healthy
Family and Intimate Relationships
Spirituality
Loved Joyful Happy Vulnerable Courageous
Calm Peaceful Open minded Closer to the Source Divinely Guided
Pay bills on time and with love – Abundant Save at least 20% monthly – Abundant Pitch for new business Courageous
Family and Intimate Relationships Spend more time with grandmother – Loved Go on more dates – Vulnerable
Health and Well Being Exercise at least 3 times a week – Fit and Healthy Annual Check ups Outdoor Hikes Adventurous
Spirituality Meditate - Peaceful Consistent Spiritual practice including Prayer – Closer to Source Daily Journal Writing – open minded.
Life is calling for us to remember who we are and recognize that who we are is never dependent on anyone or anything outside of ourselves. Goals and Objectives are part of the tools for the Journey. The intention behind them will show up in the result. Let us at least consider and be willing to do a new thing for this new time. Let us remember to factor in our humanity, our feelings into how we move forward in our lives. SMART goals, I have now learnt, must be smart enough to leave room for uncertainties and honouring of how we respond to them.
Connect with me: Website: http://www.akosuadardaineedwards.com/ IG : https://www.instagram.com/akosuadedwards/ Twitter @akosuadedwards Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/akosua. edwards Watch her TED Talk https://youtu.be/VH1K7nRGrYc
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Business and Professional Relationships
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Part 2: WHAT ACTIONS DO I NEED TO TAKE IN 2021 TO ACHIEVE THIS LIFE?
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Dr. Ghandi Thompson
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E THE EVOLVING WOMAN MAGAZINE
with
Grace Vandecruze In your book, Homeless TO Millionaire, you share about the incident that left you and your family homeless. What were some of the emotions you struggled with during that period? At the age of twenty-one, I stood outside my brownstone apartment on Saratoga Avenue in Brooklyn with my six brothers and sisters, my mom, and my dad, and watched everything we owned—our clothes, memories, and shelter—go up in flames. And what didn’t go up in flames, what I thought we’d saved, was ruined by the chemicals in the fire retardant foam the brave firefighters used as they battled tirelessly to save our home. However, My life took a tragic turn that day. The first tragedy was that everything my family and I owned could now fit in a black 13-gallon trash bag with room left to spare. The second was the 228 nights that my siblings, my mom and dad, and I would sleep on cots the size of yoga mats. In an area littered with abandoned buildings and known for its crimes, we coordinated our schedules so that we’d never have to be by ourselves on the street or at the shelter. We prayed continuously for our safety and survival. We came to the U.S. from Guyana for the American Dream, but this was the American nightmare. Have you ever had a dream demolished in front of your very eyes? Then you may understand the anguish, helplessness, agony and pain of losing everything that you consider of value to you. I am grateful for the Flagstone Family Center on Amboy Street, Brooklyn which became our home for those formidable seven months. My parents did everything they
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knew to do to ensure that we were cared for and loved, but there were things they didn’t know. If only my Mom and Dad had known about and purchased insurance, the homeless shelter could have been a brand new furnished apartment. What I learned later is that my family did not have to spend seven months in discomfort had mom and dad known and had chosen to buy insurance, our lives would have been very different and the homeless shelter would not have been our home.
own. I am the third of fifty-two grandchildren. Yes, fifty-two! And I can assure each and every reader that I was the favorite. My grandmother lifted me in love, praise, and blessings. Her spirit of gratitude, forgiveness, and grace served as a healing balm not only to me, but to everyone who has been in her presence. Her actions demonstrated unconditional love, and her indomitable spirit flows through my veins; as such, I am a living legacy of this
That fire ignited a passion within me to promote financial education, wellness and empowerment. Today I advocate for families building their wealth, securing their futures and passing on financial legacies to the next generation. This passion has led me to speak about financial empowerment in high schools, colleges, community centers and churches. I believe in families staying together healthy and safe and I invite you to climb your financial abundance mountain with me.
great woman and am proud to stand on her strong shoulders. Her most treasured words to me were “Believe beyond your limits.” Your goals, dreams and visions must never be limited by current circumstances and situations. Never let your circumstances prevent you from pursuing your aspirations.
How is it that you did not allow that loss early in life to derail you but instead light a passion in you to promote financial education?
What was the defining moment in your life, that changed your attitude from “not having enough” and “settling for less” as normal, to creating your ideal financial future?
There is an African proverb which states “where ever the stream flows, it never forgets it source.” The source of my inner confidence and strength comes from my late grandmother, Hager Delph. She set a brilliant example with her compassion, grace, and abundance mindset. My mother was the second of Hagar’s nine children. Regardless of their limited resources and space, Hagar found room in her heart to adopt five additional young girls after their own mother passed. While a household of fourteen children was always a bit of an adventure, Hagar’s positivity ensured that everyone got what they needed. It wasn’t long before many of those children started families of their
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Would it surprise you to learn that anyone who is a descendent of slavery, regardless of where in the world that person lives, is suffering from Financial Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome or Financial PTSD? There is a wealth of empirical evidence that trauma goes well beyond the psychological damage to biologically impact cells within our bodies. As a result, the physiological impact of trauma is past down from generation to generation. After
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enduring the ravages of slavery, which provided the largest transfer of wealth in world history, and living through the aftermath which was rife with financial terrorism - theft, misappropriation, fraud, discrimination, unfair compensation, financial mismanagement, lack of fulfilled promises – we must now recognize and address our Financial PTSD. We may be in different countries and time zones, speak different languages and practice different religions, but the common theme of financial PTSD is woven into the fabric of our global lives. In my book, Homeless to Millionaire, there is an exercise for readers to examine their first memory of money. If their experiences were similar to mine, it would include scarcity, lack and poverty. However, living in a homeless shelter in New York City served as an awakening within me. Looking at my surroundings, I knew that I did not belong there. I determined to work with every ounce of my being to make sure that I never find myself or my family without a financial safety net. Financial security and empowerment are critically important to all of us. We hold the pen to write a brand new financial future which is dramatically different from the past. We have a unique opportunity to rewrite what our future will be. Words such as theft, misappropriation, and homelessness will not be in our future chapters—not in my book and not in our lives! My book includes tools and resources to guide you on your path to building financial wealth. It contains a straightforward step by step approach. Technology is leveling the playing field. Information and resources that were not available or were too expensive in the past are now at our fingertips, accessible from any smartphone. In a land of plenty, where milk and honey (or money) flow abundantly, we must educate ourselves and implement changes to our finances like never before. Our biggest challenge and best opportunity lie in shifting our mindset. Our future chapters must be filled with abundance, investments, wealth, mastery, grace, love, and legacy. As an African American woman, what struggles did you overcome to build your financial wealth? When I look back at my life, I’m shocked that I went through a divorce. I realize that you can invest everything you have, emotionally, financially, and spiritually, into a relationship or venture and in spite of your best efforts, it can still fail. Not only
do you have to deal with the failure of the marriage, but sometimes this comes along with an unimaginable betrayal of trust. In my case, this Betrayal occurred even though I took 18 months off of work to care for my spouse as he recovered from a serious illness. To have your love and commitment rewarded with betrayal can be devastating. One of the things you learn when going through a divorce, particularly as a woman, is that it doesn’t matter how much you invest in your relationship. Your investment (time, love, and emotion) is a sunk cost. It’s the past. You must live in the present and focus on the future. Divorce comes from the Latin word “divortium” which means to divert, turn aside, and to leave. While I am a strong believer in marriages and having a healthy, abundant family support system, I know that in our life’s journeys, there are toxic and abusive relationships that should end in order for us to heal and thrive. I could not have imagined the bright future that would unfold in my life in the valley of that moment, but today, I’m living a more confident, loving, and fulfilling life after turning from such a draining and toxic situation. How would you describe where you are and what you have accomplished? As a strategic advisor to insurance companies for the last 25 years, I have completed over $5 billion in transactions. Many of those transactions involved companies raising capital on Wall Street or acquiring other companies. Also, I am honored to have served as a member of the board of directors of three financial services companies. As such, I have advised Chief Executive Officers, Chief Financial Officers, and boards of companies on major transactions. In addition, I am a mountain climber and I have climbed 25 mountain peaks across three different continents including Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa, and Elbrus, the highest peak in Europe. That accounts for a total ascent of more than 100,000 feet, which is the equivalent of the Empire State Building stacked atop itself 67 times. Moreover, I’ve also mentored more than 80 high school students and I still have my sanity and I have joy! I am living the American Dream blessed with love, health, wealth, and a fulfilling life. As I have climbed out of homelessness to Mount Everest and ascended the ladder to wealth and abundance, my mission is to transform the finan-
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cial climate for women, unleash their money power, and teach them how to build sustainable wealth platforms. We are the first generation with access to the vast opportunities and knowledge to build wealth. I am the first person in my family to become a millionaire. It was a daunting achievement that I have learned to embrace, own, and be proud of. I stand tall, knowing that my grandmother and ancestors fought so hard for the right for me to stand in the financial privilege I now enjoy.
How do you keep yourself inspired? This is a very important question in these challenging and difficult times. I keep myself inspired by remembering my purpose and mission. I am on a mission to educate, inspire and transform the financial climate of my generation.
What would you tell other women today if you were going to try and influence or shape their lives?
If you had to start over right now, what would you do differently?
African American women are the most educated group in the United States. We are earning bachelor’s degrees, master’s degrees, and even PhDs. African American women are increasingly becoming business owners, and business owners are members of the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in this country. Now is the time to heal our relationship with money. The biggest risk women face is that we may outlive our money. At our jobs, we are generally paid less than men for comparable performance. In addition, we are in the midst of a longevity revolution and are outliving our male counterparts. Given the global pandemic, we must access the tools and resources for us to survive and thrive. My life experiences including mountain climbing have taught me that change must come from within. We may be social distanced but we can still remain connected. Women are relationshiporiented and we learn best from each other while building an amazing sisterhood. My book is filled with real life stories and lessons along with affirmations and declarations of changes we are manifesting in our lives. We have the power to make the changes in our lives and create a financial blueprint to build wealth and leave a lasting legacy.
If I had to start over right now, I would do a few things differently. One is to always remember how beautiful, brilliant and gifted that you are each and every day. Second is to know your value and never settle for less in work and relationships. Third, take deliberate action to build a professional network, you will need allies, accomplices, mentors, sponsors and prayer partners to reach your full potential.
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What are the things that bring you joy? There are a number of things that bring me joy. The list include: completing a challenging project for my clients, watching a sunset, conversing with friends and family, listening to the waves on a beach, reading a great book, singing along with my favorite songs, listening to classical and jazz - 33 -
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music, ballroom dancing, expressing gratitude to others, praying, taking long hikes, being in love and self care. What would you like your legacy to be remembered as? I would like to be remembered for the paths I took and footprints I left behind. Lisa Nichols, my coach and mentor, states that success leaves clues. I have climbed some of the world’s highest peaks and reached the pinnacles in corporate America but I learned my greatest lessons during the valleys and in times of difficulties when I am pushed beyond my lim-
its. During these difficult times, I climbed over my insecurities, pushed past my fears, and stepped into my abundance. I impacted a generation by sharing the lessons of financial empowerment and security. I was a mountaineer, corporate executive, entrepreneur, pioneer and trailblazer but I’m most proud of being the granddaughter of my late grandmother, Hager Delph, whose words of “believe beyond your limits” shaped my life. Connect with Grace: http://www.graceglobalcapital. com/ To purchase a copy of Homeless to Millionaire Six Steps To UPLIFT Your Financial Abundance click this
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SOMETHING
BOLD CUTE PATTERNED
Comfy Too!
In my work as a Confidence Coach, I find that many women struggle with dressing up in fear of being seen. Life circumstances have convinced them that being seen will lead to being hurt. Hurt by friends who compare them, broken by lovers who may leave them, or injured by someone who might want to assault them. Childhood traumas play into this in so many ways, and we don’t have time to discuss it all here. We do have time for me to say this; it is time to reclaim your confidence. We’re going to begin that process by adding something B.O.L.D. to our Christmas wardrobe. Make sure it is Bright. Obvious. Loud. and or Dynamic! Christmas lets us get away with these clothing characteristics because it’s a BOLD season. If you aren’t as willing to wear the BOLD sleeves that are trending this season and seen in my dress, try adding bold nails or makeup!
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Something B.O.L.D.
BOL
It’s the most wonderful time of the year and a wonderful time to allow your style to shine through. COVID 19 has limited the office space for many of us, and those of us that appear on ZOOM or any other meeting platform has rightfully relaxed our style to a cute top only. However, there is a confidence that can be found in being fashionably fabulous, and I want to give it to you. So here are four ways you can “sleigh” this holiday!
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Written By: Anastarcia Palacious
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Something Cute ‘Tis the season for cute accessories! Headbands have been trending all year, and they aren’t just for children anymore. If a headband pushes you too far out of your comfort zone, have no fear, cute things are everywhere. In The Bahamas, we usually celebrate the end of the Christmas season with a phenomenal parade called Junkanoo. COVID has canceled Junkanoo, but we’ve already agreed to be BOLD, so we’re going to bring the parade to life in our cute clothing. Bring “cute” to life by wearing an outfit with texture, something that features pearls, fringe, feathers, sequins, or a nontraditional fabric choice like velvet. If wearing a full pearl dress as I do below is too much for you, try adding cute elements in your shoes.
Comfy Too
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Two things always remind me of fall: pumpkin spice everything and tartan plaid! Plaid, houndstooth, and tartan show up each October ready and willing to be worn. Plaid is the perfect way to show up confidently in your clothing if you prefer a classic look. Patterns are bold pieces in and of themselves. Dress them down by adding solid pieces and sticking to one color in the pattern. I’ve paired this patterned off the shoulder dress with an emerald green fascinator, shoes, and clutch. The gold trim on the bag and the gold trim on the heels are subtle but compliment the overall look. However, you choose to wear your plaid, and wherever you decide to show up confidently clothed, you’ll be “sleighing.”
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Something Patterned
My favorite part of this season isn’t the carols, cheesy movies, or decorations. I love them all, but honestly, my favorite part is the relaxed family atmosphere. Christmas is great for cuddling on the couch (with a human or a pillow), drinking hot chocolate, and relaxing. Make sure that your holiday wardrobe includes some comfortable pieces that allow you to lounge leisurely. Holiday pajamas have been trending for the past few years and are still in style this season. Add more fun to your family time by gifting those you’ll spend Christmas morning the same PJs or look for some for your pets! Be sure to take tons of photos for memories. The holidays aren’t always a happy time for everyone. Loneliness, self-loathing, and a feeling of lack can weigh us down more than Santa’s sack. Having lost my father, I understand all of these emotions they aren’t trivial and must be worked through. Confidently clothing yourself won’t remove those emotions, but they can help you feel slightly better. So get up, show up, and dress up for you. It is your time and your season to shine. For more tips on styling your confidence, click to follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/homeofstars/ on Instagram https://www.facebook.com/Anastarcia/ on Facebook. Credits: Images by Anneisha Alexandria, Makeup by Yeisha Forbes, Nails by Basileia Natural Nail Salon
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How to Protect Against Hackers During the Holiday Season Written by: Fareedah Shaheed While the holiday season can be a joyous and beautiful time to spend with your loved ones it’s also a season of fraud. While you may be searching for a perfect gift for someone you care about, a hacker is using this time to stack up as much money as possible by scamming you out of your money. And to do this, they’re counting on you to not notice their tricks. The less you know about how to fight them off the more information and money they can collect off of you. Today, we will learn the steps you can take action on to lower the chances of them running off with your money and personal information.
It’s better to create passphrases instead of passwords. This means that instead of your password being n!c3c@rt=823q it would be nice pillow pizza warming fear c@t34
Below are 7 ways you can protect you and your loved ones: Create good passphrases
You can check out an awesome password generator here: https://1password.com/password-generator/
As you saw in the example above, passphrases can contain spaces which act as a special character. This is a special character that not many people use and I suggest you start to if your account allows it. Install a password manager A password manager is a digital program that securely manages and generates passwords, codes, and passphrases for you.
Enable two-factor authentication (2FA) 2FA adds extra security to your online accounts and makes it harder for hackers to get into your accounts 2FA means that you have to provide a second form of authentication when logging into an online account. This better proves you are the legitimate owner of said account. This should be enabled on any and every account that has this option (password manager, social media, email, banking, games, etc.) Application-based two-factor authentication is better than text-based authentication. This is because the code that comes to your phone is easily hackable compared to a code that is randomly generated in a 2FA app. Check your privacy settings and disable what makes sense for you Most accounts offer a privacy tab under their settings section. Always take a look at that section and enable and disable features as needed. Enable account alerts especially on financial accounts Enabling account alerts can help you a lot especially during the holiday season because it will alert you if anyone (including you) decides to purchase something using the card connected to the account. Having this enabled allows you to catch fraud quickly and get it resolved more easily. Always enable these alerts when available.
Watch out for holiday scams If there is any time of year you want to be extra cautious of emails, deals, websites, and links it’s around holiday time. This is the prime time for hackers and fraudsters so make it a habit to scan and double-check everything you come across. While the internet can be a scary place with a lot of hacking and fraud taking place, it’s also a very beautiful place. Always remember that security is more about protecting your peace than it is about being afraid. It’s important to practice a healthy amount of vigilance so you can remain as protected as possible. Today, I want you to take action on at least one of the tips mentioned above and make an action plan to complete the rest. If you really want to stay safe online, it’s important to know how to have fun online and how to be safe and secure at the same time. Remember...it’s better to be safe than to be sorry and it’s better to take small steps towards your security than none at all. Click to follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyberfareedah/ Email: support@sekuva.com
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Use a VPN and not public WiFi You should use a VPN while you’re traveling and using public wifi. Public wifi is not secure because hackers can see everything you’re doing when you use it. This is why using a VPN is important because it will make your internet connection secure and private. The most popular companies that offer this service are NordVPN and ExpressVPN.
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You have to create something called a master password to protect your password manager account. A master password is the one password that unlocks the password manager program that stores all your passwords. When creating a master password make sure it’s a super-duper secure password. Meaning it’s unique, random, long, and not easily guessable. You can use a passphrase for your master password or/and use a password generator to help. Some of the best password managers are: LastPass, 1Password, and Keeper Remember to not lose this password because if you do that means you lose access to all your passwords. For this reason, I recommend that you back up all your important passwords to physical paper and store it in a secure place in your house.
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Holiday Eats & Treats Written by Laurel T. Hamilton, CGIF, GFSP, CLC Twenty- twenty has been a year of unprecedented change. Christmas may be a little different this year, and it can still be good with the right attitude and a little help. Only you know what mental and/or emotional adjustments you need to make to thrive in a post Covid world, but one adjustment I think we can all agree on is food that nourishes and feeds our bodies, minds and souls. As a certified life coach and fitness instructor, I have some suggestions on to permanently improve your eating habits, even during the holidays. Food is your friend and your fuel. For the most part, we have been conditioned to think of food as friend or foe. This polarizing view creates unnecessary conflict in our relationship with food, so I offer a different perspective… all food is good. There are simply more helpful or less helpful options. Those options are not the same for every body. Experiment - try different foods to see how they make you feel and find what works best for you. Food is your friend AND food is your fuel. The cost of less helpful choices. Let’s talk about cost. Cost includes money, but that’s not all. Less helpful foods is often cheaper at the register, but the real cost includes diabetes, obesity, skin eruptions, headaches, insomnia, the doctor visits and drugs you have to pay for to deal with those things. It is better to pay a little more on the front end to protect and enhance your health. You can almost always eat well. Eating well is a matter of a little thought, a little planning, a little research and a little support. Think about what it is you want to achieve. Plan your meals weekly so you know what to buy at the grocery store. Tell your friends and family what you are doing and ask them to respect your choices and ask them to help you stick to your T H E E VO LVI NG WO M A N
plan. Ultimately though, it is your choice to make a decision and stick to it, regardless of what others are doing. How to make it all work. You can succeed in making changes if you carefully choose a goal and work on one goal at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to make thirty big changes at one time. No more than three at a time is the usual recommendation. Set yourself up for success by planning to control your environment. Learn about the changes you want to make. Get support. Don’t go it alone. People who have a support system are 70% more successful than those who go it alone. Here is a great recipe to enjoy this Thanksgiving or Christmas.
PUMPKIN PIE CHEESECAKE 15 oz cottage cheese 15 oz can pumpkin puree 2 eggs 1 cup sugar 1 tbsp Pumpkin pie spice (or to taste) Combine all ingredients in a blender until smooth. Bake in individual ramekins or in one 9-inch pie shell for 30 minutes. Let cool and serve at room temperature or chilled. For more tips on healthy living and lifestyle options, connect with me at www.laurelthamilton. simplesite.com or by email thirtydaystowin@ gmail.com. Let’s connect via social media: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/laurel. hamilton.12
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LEVEL UP FOR FINANCIAL DOMINANCE Written by Nathaniel A. Butler
Picture it, the year is 2065, you are now well past the bloom of youth, you settle into your favorite chair and reflect on the life you’ve lived so far and the decisions you’ve made. You are also likely asking yourself some very important questions: What have I accomplished? Have I truly lived my life to the fullest? What, if anything, would I change? Is it too late for me to make the kinds of changes to make my golden years more comfortable? Answering these fundamental questions is critical to improving your quality of life as you age. They are the first essential steps to changing your money mindset. Why is this important? Well, if you want to live your best life and earn enough to reach your personal and professional goals then reassessing your money mindset is a crucial step. How can you achieve this? Figuring out the relationship you have with money is perhaps the
most important first step you can take. Money is a tool that if earned and managed correctly can unlock new levels in your life. Pinpointing the precise flow and circulation of money in your life can help shift your thinking and impact your money management behaviors. Upgrade your mindset if you want to upgrade your money-making. Step two will require that you abandon any negative and unproductive thoughts you have about money. As the nurturers of the human race, women will often choose to put others first. If you want to upgrade your mindset, however, then you must learn to put yourself first. One common mistake many women make is that they underestimate their income-generating capacity. This mindset often prevents women from availing themselves of opportunities for financial growth. Instead, of leaning into negative stereotypes about your money management skills, feed yourself a new message: ‘I am Smart’ and ‘I am Good Enough’. These are the important messages needed to develop the millionaire-mindset. Your emotions are a powerful tool that can be used to fuel your higher purpose and improve your money mindset. Never allow negative emotions like doubt and fear to hold you back from achieving your final goals. Instead, align your emotions with your goals. Writing your goals down on paper is a great place to start. Visualize the goals you set and write down why you want to achieve each one. Refer to these notes regularly. This will help you realize what truly motivates you and drives you. Over time, you will see your behaviors and beliefs change and adapt as you develop your new mindset. The final step in reaching the ideal money mindset is to TAKE ACTION. No one achieves success without strategically planning it first: a goal without a plan can only remain a dream. Don’t stop at just dreaming; make a concrete plan that will the roadmap to your success. How Secure is Financial Strategy? It often takes just one major issue or life event to expose the holes in your financial strategy. Whether your early 20’s or mid 40’s. single or married or divorced it’s important to note that when it comes to your money strategies, there is always room for improvement, even for those of us who may feel like we’ve found ‘the perfect financial balance’.
use to level up and establish financial dominance. Tap into your wealth-generating capacity. Whether you own your business or are a full-time employee, remember that it never hurts to have a side-hustle. Harness your talents and natural abilities into a secondary source of income. Remember, time is more valuable than money; so with very little time, no additional finance invested and no maintenance needed, you can quickly grow your income. Focus on your essentials. Use what I like to call, the ‘Four Walls Concept’. As natural caretakers, women traditionally set the parameters for what qualifies as essential in her household. You know undoubtedly have intimate knowledge of what it takes to make your home run efficiently. KNOWING is only half the battle. You must also note the different ways that expenses like food, medicine, shelter, utilities and transportation are “weigh” on your budget. Once you eliminate the non-essentials you’ll start to see a difference in your finances. Create two funds with one ultimate goal in mind. Every dollar you earn must have a purpose. When working toward creating wealth for yourself or your family, create both an emergency fund and a sinking fund. Put money aside for emergency funds, and save a few extra dollars to cover recurring and future specific plans or events. With these two funds in place, you can sleep easier knowing that you’ve taken the steps to reach your ultimate financial goals. The road to financial security should never feel like a daunting task. By changing the way you think about your money, you have the power to level up and become not just financially independent but Financially DOMINANT and ready to take on the infinite opportunities that await you. Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/drewber_speaks/ Email: info@drewbersolutions.com
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Here are a few simple rules that ALL women can T H E E VO LVI NG WO M A N
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