Doodle Durango by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife Thursday, December 6, 2018

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Also: The best albums of 2018, Mmm Que Rico, and a breakfast burrito showdown

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[from the editor]

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Changes, they are a’comin’ »» Hey, friends. We have some news for you. Hey there, readers. We have some news for you. Want to know what it is? Of course you do, but I like to drag out the suspense as long as possible. A little further...a little further. All right. Here we go. So, the news is that DGO Mag is expanding, which we think is pretty darn rad. To kick off the new year, we will be increasing our coverage and distribution areas to include not only good ol’ Durango, but also Pagosa Springs, Mancos, Dolores, Cortez, and Farmington. Our goal is to provide the Four Corners with an alternative publication that serves the entire area that we eat, drive, shop, and drink copious amounts of booze in. While Durango is home, these communities are our communities, too. But, to be able to reach and report on these new coverage areas, things have to change, and in this case, it’s our print schedule. We want to be able to provide you with the best magazine we can, so we’re changing our print schedule from weekly to bi-weekly. That doesn’t mean we’re going anywhere, though. A new issue of the magazine will be ready and waiting on the racks every other week, and DGO will be bulking up our website with stories full of the same vim and vigor you’re used to. We’re even adding a listings page to announce events and other area happenings. You’re welcome in advance. We’re truly stoked about the expansion and hope you guys enjoy the refresh. As always, let us know how you feel and what you think of the changes. We like your input. Oh, and Farmington, Dolores, Mancos, Cortez, and Pagosa? It’s time to gird your loins. We’re comin’ for ya. —— Angelica Leicht Editor, DGO Mag

»» LEFT: A bad tattoo Analise Mahnken got while she was in some guy’s motor home. »» ABOVE: Ryan Hurley’s bad tattoo that his friend convinced him to get while they were in the military.

Bad tattoo contest: Help us help you Attention, dear readers: Are you so ashamed of your bad tattoo that you don’t want to leave your house? Do your friends give your shit for your bad ink? Want to win a consultation and two FREE laser removal sessions from Durango Dermatology? Or, perhaps you just want to cover it up with something cooler? Well, how about a FREE badass cover-up from Robert Smith at Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez. Not sure if you’ve gathered it yet, but we’re trying to fix your bad decisions for you and hooking you up with some badass deals.

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If you want to win the laser sessions or cover-up, all you have to do is send us a photo, a short story about your crappy ink job, and tell us which prize you want to win in an email to editor@dgomag. com. We’ll throw the best-worst stories and photos online each Thursday, our readers will vote, and the winners of the cover-up and laser sessions will be announced the week of January 17. Don’t put this off. This is your chance to turn the tables on the past. Easy peasy...well, aside from the shame. That part we ain’t got no solution for. Guess you gotta live with it. /shrug

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It’s the most powerful pigment and tattoo removal solution on the market. · Best Color Clearance · Less Ghosting · Faster Results Providing Laser Treatments Since 1984 523 S Camino Del Rio · Durango, CO 81303 · durangodermatology.com 2 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 4 Number 6 Thursday, December 6, 2018

Editor

Mmm, delicioso!

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551

What’s better than fajitas, rice, beans, guacamole, and fresh corn tortillas? Uh, fajitas, rice, beans, guac, fresh corn tortillas AND a margarita from Mmm Que Rico in Farmington, duh.

Staff writer Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Burford Katie Cahill

Ink

Eat

What the Fork

Breakfast Burritos 5 Mmm Que Rico 7

Sound

What’s New

Jon E. Lynch

Downtown Lowdown 8-9

Lindsay Mattison

10 Visual

Bryant Liggett

Patty Templeton

17 Weed

Robert Alan Wendeborn

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

Design/layout

19 Happening

Colossal Sanders Reader Services 375-4570

Douglas Bennett V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Breakfast burrito brawl Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but when you’re racing out your door and you can barely open your eyes because the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet, it’s also the most convenient meal of the day to skip. That’s why burritos exist.

Chief Executive Officer

DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

Reviews 17-18

20 DGO Deals

17 The iPhone of vapes The Pax Era is the newest Pax vape, and even if you don’t consider the fact that it gets you supah-stoned, it’s still so freaking cool, you guys. It has an app!

22 Horoscope/ puzzles 23 Advice

This year in albums These records are the best thing we’ve heard all year (wink, wink). The order is arbitrary. The list itself is for the benefit of you, the list reader, to aggregate and visualize a beginning, middle, and end.

Tell us what you think! Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

A SAVVY MAGAZINE FOR A SAVVY CUSTOMER.

/dgomag /dgomag

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ON THE COVER Why not get straight to colorin’ on this Kayla Shaggy original? Colossal Sanders for DGO

Call 375-4570 or email info@dgomag.com

CARRY DGO IN YOUR BUSINESS �� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 3

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What the Fork | Lindsay Mattison

All I want for Christmas is my beer shelf back

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o you know what it’s like to collect something? It might start with just one or two somethings, but it can easily get out of hand. Before you know it, you have an entire shelf dedicated to it. It’s cool until it’s suddenly not, and you find yourself itching to get that damn space back. I mean, just think of all the other, more functional things you could store on that shelf. That’s how I feel about my cellar beer collection. For at least eight years, I’ve been collecting beers the way some people collect wine. Some of them are so old, they still have their original $8.99 price tag (a 2009 Deschutes Brewery Mirror Mirror, a barrel-aged barley wine that would probably run close to $16 or $18 a bottle today). The collection started small. We’d buy one to drink today, one for next year, and a third to sample down the road. Certain types of beers actually improve with age, so it was fun to see how they’d developed over time. But those triplet purchases quickly became sextuplets, because wouldn’t it be even cooler if we could drink one EVERY year and still have a crazy awesome vertical tasting in five years? Then we started driving out of town for rare beer releases so we had the latest and greatest beer from X Brewery in our collection. I mean, they only made 12 cases, and that brewery is so hot right now. We sought out anything with the words “bourbon barrel aged,” looked for wax-covered Flanders-style reds, and anything inoculated with wild yeasts or Brettanomyces. It really started to run away from us when we started collecting any old beer over 8 percent ABV to see if they could withstand the test of time (spoiler alert: they could not). At one point, we had over 200 bottles, and it became difficult to find an occasion to drink them. Not only that, but the type of beers you’re likely to cellar have a certain set of character-

istics, like 8 to 15 percent ABV beers with a super malty backbone or a mouth-puckering sour quality. Belgian beers are the exception, but you usually end up with a ton of stouts, porters, and barrel-aged beers that aren’t exactly quaffable on a 90-degree summer day. Those beers got pushed to the back of the shelf. Years later, we’d pull them out and say, “Huh, when did we buy this?” Some beers can last five or more years, but most reached their peak within two years. They became a shadow of their former self, tasting overly stone-fruit-like at best and super soy-saucy at worst, and we ran the ever-present risk of opening a bottle only to be greeted by off flavors. Any beer that tastes stale, oxidized, or funky will probably get dumped after the first sip. But I’m not the type of person to allow regret to fill my veins, so the only way to get my shelf back is to drink. Browsing has become like a chore, but I do find a few bottles that blow my mind. Cantillon is always a winner (as are most lambics, if I’m being honest), and certain breweries like Oregon’s Pfriem rarely disappoint. Somehow, no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to bring ourselves to drink the oldest Deschutes Abyss bottles – just in case anyone wants to do a vertical tasting with us. Will we ever get through the cellar? I’m not sure. It’s taken a long time to reduce it down to one shelf, and while I’d love to reclaim that space, I’m also pretty stoked when I find something well-aged. I think the luster is gone. I’m okay missing out on the rarest bottles because I know how easy it is for that collection to take over. Lindsay D. Mattison is a professional chef and food writer living in Durango. She enjoys long walks in the woods, the simplicity of New York-style cheese pizza, and she’s completely addicted to Chapstick. Contact her at lindsaymattisonwriter@ gmail.com.

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Quest for the best breakfast burrito for days you’re hurrying in to work Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day, but when you’re racing out your door, desperate to make it into the office before 9 a.m. and you can barely open your eyes because the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet, it’s also the most convenient meal of the day to skip. Trying to shovel food down your gullet without spilling it all over your dry clean-only pants as you speed your late-ass way toward work just makes everything worse. And, let’s face it, those apples and granola bars stashed in your desk suck. That’s why the cooking gods have blessed us with another option: the almighty breakfast burrito. Thick, meaty, and portable – the perfect option for a hurried breakfast. Here’s a round-up of some quick grab-and-go breakfast burritos for you busybodies on a tight schedule. ,Durango Doughworks Burrito style we tried: Western Scramble The run down: There are two options for breakfast burritos at Durango Doughworks: you can either grab one of the pre-made burritos by the front, or you can ask for them to make a fresh one for you. It’s easy access to a quick breakfast that you can shove in your mouth on your drive to work, AND you have the option of eight different types of burritos, including Green Chile, No Eggs, and Carne Asada. Our opinion: The Western Scramble was a thick helping of eggs, black forest ham, onion, bell pepper, and cheddar. We opted for the pre-made Western Scramble (cuz we were in a hurry, too) and kinda wished we’d stuck around for the freshly made ones. While it was nice and thick and meaty, the tortilla was a bit soggy, though we appreciated that the ends weren’t hard. For you meat lovers out there, Durango Doughworks is sure to pack lotsa ham in there.

few minutes for them to cook you up something fresh, it’s worth the wait. They were out of salsa the day we visited, but you don’t even need salsa for these bad boys because they’re packed with so much great flavor – eggs, hash browns, green chili, chipotle sour cream, bacon, cheddar cheese, and a crispy (not soggy) tortilla.

»» Durango Doughworks’ Western Scramble burrito.

We went with the Durangatang because, well, it was called the Durangatang. This righteous dude was a mix of potatoes, pico de gallo, egg, beans, and cheese. Our opinion: The Macho’s Durangatang burrito did not look like any breakfast burrito we’ve ever seen. While most of the other contenders we tried out had a lighter tortilla shell, Macho’s was much darker and long and thin. We felt that this burrito could have used a bit more zing to it (and cheese, aka the best part of any burrito). The salsa had PLENTY of spicy flavoring to add, but it’s not super conducive to the eating process, especially if you’re trying to munch it in your car or at your desk. Kudos to Macho’s though for not serving up a soggy tortilla. We appreciate that.

Backcountry Gourmet Burrito style we tried: Bacon

Burrito style we tried: Durangatang

The run down: As far as grab-andgo breakfast burritos go around here, Backcountry Gourmet is going to be your highest quality, no questions asked. If you’re in a hurry, it might not be the most convenient spot, cause they make it fresh for you on the spot (which is why they’re so amazing). Backcountry Gourmet has three options: bacon, pork belly, and vegetarian. A little something for everyone.

The run down: Macho’s has a whole lotta variety when it comes to their breakfast burritos. In fact, they have nine different varieties to choose from, including veggie, chorizo, and machaca.

Our opinion: UNDENIABLY FRIGGIN’ AMAZING. Like we stated earlier, if you’re in a big hurry this might not be the best option, but if you’ve got time to stroll down to 11th Street Station and wait a

Macho’s Fast Mexican Food

Durango Joe’s Burrito style we tried: Veggie

The run down: Durango Joe’s is as prominent around Durango as Starbucks is in Seattle, and it’s

a real convenient shop to kill two birds by grabbing your coffee AND breakfast burrito. A Durango Joe’s spot is just around the corner from our office, so we do this often. We decided to mix it up a little with this one and cut meat out of the menu by ordering a to-go veggie breakfast burrito, complete with eggs, cheese, and hash browns. You can also order sausage and bacon burritos at Durango Joe’s. Our opinion: Unfortunately, like Durango Doughworks, Durango Joe’s breakfast burritos are a quick but soggy-tortilla breakfast option. However, if you aren’t picky about textures or are able to power through, the egg/cheese/ hash brown mixture actually packs a decent punch flavor-wise, which is a good thing, because on that particular morning we forgot to grab salsa and sour cream. The cheese-to-everything else ratio is solid work on Durango Joe’s part. —— Amanda Push

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Cucumber margaritas and carbs at Mmm Que Rico in Farmington The building that houses the Mexican restaurant on the outskirts of the main drag in Farmington looked pretty nondescript as we pulled up alongside it. There wasn’t much color to the outside stucco walls, and the parking lot was suspiciously empty, especially for a Thursday afternoon. Perhaps our plan to check out Mmm Que Rico, a little margarita and taco haven in this small New Mexican town, wasn’t such a great idea, I said, while slowly dragging my body out of the car. Maybe the Internet was wrong. Buyers remorse quickly set in as I made my way to the heavy glass doors. With no windows to peer into and no sign of life, there was no way to tell what we were walking into, and I was nervous. It’s easy to mess up Mexican food, and very hard to get it right. As is often the case, my habit of judging the book by its cover proved the wrong move. The outside of Mmm Que Rico, while bland, is also deceiving, and hides a bright interior that’s lively and full of color, with yellow, green, and red pops of color everywhere. The high-backed booths are heavy and dark, a nice contrast to the traditional bright colors. We were seated at one of the deep booths near the front of the restaurant, and our server appeared almost immediately to take our drink order. It took a minute to wade through the many choices of margaritas, beers, and mixed drinks listed on the menu. Mmm Que Rico knows their liquor. I chose the cucumber margarita while my lunch partner opted for the pina colada, a drink topped with whipped cream and a cherry. My drink arrived quickly, and I was stoked to find it rimmed with chile and salt, a concoction I grew up snacking on in the southernmost part of Texas. As a child, I’d put it on watermelon, or mango, or anything

Angelica Leicht/DGO Mag

»» The cheese enchiladas and cucumber margarita from Mmm Que Rico in Farmington.

of fajitas sizzling and steaming with fury. I took a quick survey of my dish and then dug in. Between the viscous, warm cheese and the flavorful red sauce, it was perfect. else you can think of, and I love to see it used on beer or margaritas as an adult. Nostalgia at its finest. Plus, it’s delicious. The drink menu wasn’t the only extensive list at Mmm Que Rico, either. The food menu was several pages long and full of true Mexican dishes, like camarones a la diabla or caldo, a traditional Mexican soup, a good sign of what was to come. Nobody puts caldo on the menu without some real knowledge of what Mexican food should be. The remaining bits of wariness were quickly washed away with a simple gulp of my margarita. The drink was bright green and thick with bits of fresh cucumber, which were refreshing and light against the salty bite of the chile rim. They mean business at Mmm Que Rico. My dining partner, with her thick, sugary pina colada, looked on with envy. Still, while delicious, a true test of a Mexican restaurant is not their margarita. It is their food. I opted for the cheese enchiladas, and my lunch partner, the chicken fajitas. Our food arrived quickly, the plate

The fajitas proved to be equally as good. The corn tortillas the dish were served with were clearly homemade, and the portion size was excellent. You can’t go wrong with homemade corn tortillas. You also can’t find them being offered up in restaurants very often, either. We spent the rest of the meal sipping and eating to the point of gluttony, determined to take in as much traditional Mexican food as our bellies would allow. By the time we made it out to the car and past the boring stucco walls, the curse of the carbs had set in. Yawns abound. Mmm Que Rico is absolutely worth the stop when you’re in Farmington. It’s also worth the drive out there, should you be looking for some good Mexican food and even better mixed drinks. It’s not close in proximity, but it’s about as close as you’re going to get to true Mexican food, which makes the drive across the state border and into New Mexico worth every minute. —— Angelica Leicht

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The best albums of 2018, ranked

DURANGO

OK, here’s the thing about compiling a year-in-review or Best Of list: If I write this article next week...well, shit. If I write this article later tonight or even tomorrow, it could likely – nay, certainly – look different than it does today. Not all of it would change, mind you. Seven or eight of these records are the best thing I’ve heard all year (wink, wink). The order is arbitrary. The list itself is for the benefit of you, the list reader, to aggregate and visualize a beginning, middle, and end. This list was compiled purposefully and without perusing any other lists. I did discuss with Bryant Liggett the position of an album. Honorable Mentions: “Floating Features” La Luz; “Freedom,” Amen Dunes; “Smote Reverser,” Oh Sees; “Hell-On,” Neko Case; “Digital Garbage,” Mudhoney; “The Creation Factory,” The Creation Factory; “The Other,” King Tuff; “Jericho Sirens,” Hot Snakes. 10.“In A Poem Unlimited,” U.S. Girls, released by 4AD Released back in February, Meghan Remy and company made an album of addictive absurdist dance-pop. Seeing her/them live at Sister Bar solidified the record and her place on this list. 9.“Heaven and Earth,” Kamasi Washington, released by Young Turks The preeminent modern jazz man delivered the goods on this highly anticipated double LP. This one was played over and over again in many different settings. 8.“No More Songs About Wildflowers,” Snakes, self released George Cessna is the son of Auto Club frontman Slim Cessna. Fans of SCAC will appreciate George’s take on gothic desert noir country, and will certainly dig this second full-length from Snakes. 7.“C’est La Vie,” Phosphorescent, released by Dead Oceans Not going to lie to you – this album surprised me. I joked about Matthew Houck’s shift away from straightforward Americana, though some of that sound is still in there on this album. 6.“The Hex,” Richard Swift,

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released by Secretly Canadian Perhaps best known as a producer and collaborator, Swift nails a stunning album of intense indie pop, which was sadly his last proper album. Swift passed away in July from complications related to alcoholism.

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D O M I N AT E D I G ITA L

As a side note: I have a request of you, dear reader. It’s fairly simple, so I’ll get right to it. If you dig the above list and plan on buying any of my suggestions, please take the extra effort to purchase the music ethically. That means different things to different people, but to me it means buying directly from the band, straight from the record label, and finally – this one is my most preferred – buy the music from your favorite local independent record store. Don’t have one? Call any of mine! Love Garden in Lawrence, Kansas, can be reached by phone at 785-843-1551. Wax Trax in Denver is stellar, and can be reached at 303-860-0127. You can also call Homers in Omaha at 402-3460264. Wherever you’re from, or wherever you’ve been, work a little harder and maybe pay a few bucks more, but most importantly, do the right thing and buy the music from any of the aforementioned sources. Please and thanks. —— Jon E. Lynch KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu

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�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 7

[sound]

Downtown Lowdown | Bryant Liggett

Top 10 records of 2018, The challenge that lies in making a list of the best things you listened to for the last year comes from the whittling. There’s a lot of music made each year. Much of it sucks, much of it mediocre, and some of it worth keeping around. With record labels disintegrating, and the ease of making records at home or with smaller indie labels (or no label at all) increasing, it’s obvious the total output will increase. Runner-ups this year include Mudhoney, 6-String Drag, Neko Case, Jesse Dayton and so many more. 8.

10. Mo Douglas,“Live at the Continental” With subtle hints to the Blaxploitation or 1970s New York noir score, Mo Douglas’ latest record, which doesn’t seem as “live” as the title insists, is laid back and cool. The city sounds of a Saturday night into Sunday morning are present from front to back, and there’s as much laid-back groove as there is weird cocktail jazz that comes via a nonstop dose of saxophone. The lounge bounce of “Dipped Fruit,” the muted trumpet, saxophone, and acoustic guitar of “Fill a Pastry Bag,” and instrumental Beastie Boys vibe of “Chestnut Dessert” – all are delivered playfully and mellow, or perhaps what the hip kids or jazz dudes refer to as “mood music.” 9. Red Hare, “Little Acts of Destruction” The record begins with a quick snippet from a Bugs Bunny cartoon, with a wrestling ring announcer introducing “The Crusher.” What follows is a crushing amount of rock. The partnership of guitar player Jason Farrell and singer Shawn Brown goes back to D.C. post-hardcore band Swiz. The second full-length from Red Hare hints at classic American hardcore, re-

corded cleanly and going for the jugular. There’s the obvious nods to the Dischord Records predecessors that influenced this band, but Red Hare is achieving a much larger scream-along sound.

American Aquarium,“Things Change” American Aquarium frontman B.J. Barham redefined his longtime Raleigh-based alternative country band

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part 1 7. Sarah Shook and the Disarmers,“Years” Alternative country roots-rocker, or whatever you want to call Sarah Shook, one thing is certain. She has a knack for some heartbreaking hooks, and her lazy drawl just adds to the intermittent misery conveyed in her songs. The opener, “Good as Gold,” is punctuated by pedal steel, while “New Ways to Fail” is a nod to classic ’70s country, and “The Bottle Never Lets Me Down” has a gothic country flair. She’s backed by a band that can pick out a two-step shuffle, rip through some roots rock, or play up the cowpunk angle. Ache never sounded so D-I-Y good.

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for this record, but that didn’t take away from the emotional and picturesque Southern gothic tales within the songs. Things do in fact change, and perhaps that is a good thing. The band found a kindred spirit in producer John Fullbright. They recorded in Oklahoma, probably aided in the catchiness of “Work Conquers All,” but the whole album is strong, from the current day critique of “The World is on Fire” to the country groove of “I Gave up the Drinking,” and the tear-jerker “Shadows of You.”

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Albums 5 through 1 will appear in next week’s edition of DGO. Bryant Liggett is a freelance writer and KDUR station manager. liggett_b@fortlewis.edu.

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From the opening riffs of “I Need a Doctor” to the stop-ona-dime ending of “Death of a Sportsman,” this album rips. It’s their first record in 14 years, and first for Sub Pop Records, yet it’s safe to say that everything Swami John Reis puts his hands on will hustle forward with aggression and swagger, this album included. There’s some 1960s garage rock charm to the album, but toss that into a blender with classic ’80s hardcore and you get somewhere close. It’s an angular sound, where guitars jab in all the right places and a rhythm section helps them do the job in beautiful and brutal glory.

LIGHT

�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 9

[visual]

Artist Dan Groth reflects on his coloring book he created during the 2016 election A woman emerging from water alongside a multi-headed sea monster. An enraged bird shaking his fists at the sun. A mustachioed train coming across a dying dog. The year 2016 was a weird year for everyone, but especially Durango artist Dan Groth, who released his adult coloring book that year. When we reached out to Groth about “The Colorin’ Book!!!,” he told us the timing of our inquest couldn’t be more odd, as he had just been reflecting on that project from two years ago, and whether he should create a new coloring book. Here’s some of Groth’s thoughts on the process of creating an adult coloring book, why he hates making statements with his art, and if he would ever make a dark kids’ coloring book.

it intentionally doesn’t necessarily appear right away. I just had all these women friends who were freaking out a bit and I’ve been trying to bring in a more feminine element into my art. I’ve been reflecting on World War I and trying to capture the war machine type of stuff. It wasn’t like obviously, ‘Oh, I’m making a theme.’ It was more like, ‘Here’s a series of pictures.’ If I were to do another one, I think I would try to come up with an actual story. Would you ever do a kids coloring book? Dan Groth: Some people tell me I should do kids books. I’m not interested in doing kids books because I’m just not interested in that. But in some ways, if I were to do a children’s coloring book, it would be a spoof, but it would also something that kids could get into. But it’d be almost like a real messed up story, but not like messed up where kids would be disturbed by.

How did you end up deciding to create a coloring book?

Dan Groth: I’d never even approached an adult coloring book before. One night I was doing a trivia night ... I’m an incessant doodler and so I had this sheet and one of my teammates was like, ‘Oh, you should do an adult coloring book.’ ... So I went home that night and I did my first one, which didn’t make it into the book, but the next one did. ... It ended up being really interesting because a couple days later was the election two years »» ago. ... So I ended up channeling a lot into that. It ended up being a great creative exercise where I explored femininity a little bit more (and) dystopian themes. I even distanced myself from the coloring book label, just saying, ‘Here’s a book of art that you can color in.’ Are you thinking of coming out with another one? Dan Groth: I have not thought about that at all. But I think part of that, the time period that I did that, I had a burst of kind of creating different sort of stuff that I could mass produce. I’ve been out of that zone for a bit. I feel like I’d really approach it differently. And there was some-

There’s all kinds of kids’ stories that are disturbing but you don’t realize it until you’re an adult.

Courtesy of Dan Groth

“Resurfacing”

thing special about the time that I made it, the fact that it was reflecting on this major event that happened. Even though it’s not super obvious except for the first (drawing). That one was two days before the election. What was the inspiration for this coloring book? There seems to be ones that lean more political but other ones that made us wonder where the inspiration came from. Dan Groth: With my art, I try and find that zone where

Dan Groth: Oh yeah, totally. Fairy tales are so deep from the human conscious, so they include things like murder, shoving witches into ovens, and eating children. So it would be something more folk tale-ish because I’m interested in folk tales.

What were some of the themes you explored? Dan Groth: I wasn’t trying to make a political statement because I’m not interested in making political statements. I’m more interested in pointing out society undercurrents and why things happen and that’s kind of where I was exploring, like femininity – like how women are mad. And I’m not trying to make a grand statement or anything. In some ways, it’s just a coloring book. —— Amanda Push

Angel Giving Tree

Other Ways to Help cash donations, angel tree, holiday donation drives and volunteering

PRO

Select an Angel or Bell from our Angel Tree, and return items to the PMC Wrapping Station at Durango Mall (Across from Sears) by 7pm Dec 16th!

Help us make this holiday season bright for all! M E R R Y C H RI

Project Merry Christmas · PO Box 422 Durango, CO 81302 · 970-247-2944 · www.projectmerrychristmas.com 10 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[visual]

The mythological and monster making-world of Kayla Shaggy The monster-making coloring page artist from this weeks issue, Kayla Shaggy, is a New Mexico native turned Durangatang who has published three comic books. She graduated from Fort Lewis »» Kayla Shaggy College in the spring of 2017 with a bachelor’s degree in art. Her first book, “Monstrous,” came out after she received a $500 grant from Durango Arts Center to create the project. Since then, she has released the first two issues of “The Sixth World” – a comic book series mixing Navajo mythology and science fiction. She won “Best of Show” for her piece “Hell” at the 41st Annual Juried Competition at the Durango

Arts Center in 2017. Shaggy is inspired by monsters and often incorporates them into her work. In her artist statement, she wrote, “Dreams. Personal experiences. Myths. Monsters. I believe these subjects contain many emotional and psychological contexts, as well as allegories, fantastical imagery and iconography. ... I want viewers to seriously examine and interpret the subjects I explore. ... My main goal, however, is to be able to tell stories without telling the view what the story is about. Stories have always captivated me and I hope that my art is able to do the same for my audience.” For more information, visit kaylashaggy.gallery.

Lyshawna Benally: Pushing the boundaries on art Durango artist Lyshawna Benally isn’t a creative who’s interested in being put into a box – she’s always looking to try something new. A recent Fort Lewis College graduate with a degree in communication design, Benally hopes to one day become an illustrator and start her own clothing line. While she was a junior at Chinle High School in Arizona, she placed third out of 200 schools for website design in the Future Business Leaders of America State Competition, which ultimately inspired her to become a graphic designer. She often incorporates social justice, historical, and political themes into her artwork, such the Navajo code talkers and missing and murdered Native American women. Her design philosophy on her website states: “Design is the art form that connects to selected audience or viewers. The connection of emotion, personal experience and influence that

»» Lyshawna Benally expressed or displayed by the viewers. Displaying a clear message through graphic design, pictures, colors and texture for better understanding. In order to achieve the perfect vision is through research, teamwork and growing your artistic skills. Being able to build an innovation is through motivation to create great art or design. Mistakes will be made but take the opportunity to learn and grow from it.” For more information about Benally, visit www.lyshawnabenally.com.

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�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 11

Artwork by Kayla Shaggy

12 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 13

Artwork by Kayla Shaggy

14 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Artwork by Dan Groth

�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 15

Artwork by Lyshawna Benally

[weed]

[Odd Rot, by Patty Templeton]

The Pax Era is the iPhone of vapes I have spent my morning playing vape-related games on an app instead of working. I suppose if I wanted to, I could justify my serious bout of dicking around by saying it’s technically for work, because the games are on the Pax Era app that goes with their Pax Era vape, which is quite possibly the most sophisticated vape I have ever seen. Like, for real. The Pax Era is the newest Pax vape, and even if you don’t consider the fact that it gets you supahstoned, it’s still so freaking cool, you guys. It connects by bluetooth to your smart phone, you can customize your vape and control your temperature ranges via the app, and you can track things like how many hits you took, too. Basically, this thing is like the FitBit of vapes. Tell me what to do, Pax. Want me to take a walk to log a bunch of unnecessary steps? Cool. I’m all yours. This vape is a closed system, meaning that it only works with Pax Pods, which are available in different strains and from different concentrate companies. I chose Papaya Huasca live sauce from Harmony Extracts, an indica concentrate with 72.02 percent THC, mostly because of the name. The pod, like all of Harmony’s products, was top notch, and it fit right into the end of the rectangular vape with no mess. Fancy! One of the coolest things about the Pax Era is that you can choose not only your temperature, but your dosing, too. So, if you’re like me and you tend to way freaking overdo it with concentrates, you can use the “session control,” which lets you choose between micro, small, medium, or large doses. I didn’t do that the first time I used it, of course, because I didn’t bother to read the instructions and I didn’t know it existed. As I learned very quickly, Papaya Huasca is freaking strong. Use session control. Learn from my mistakes. With this vape, you don’t click anything. You just inhale, so it’s easy to inhale a LOT of vapor, which I did. One hit in and I was choking like crazy, even though the steady stream of vapor is cool and doesn’t burn. You could definitely taste all the terpenes in the live sauce pod, which threw my smoking partner off at first. And, when she inhaled, she also choked. And choked. And choked some more. Shortly after gasping for that precious life-sustaining air, we were both very,

Details Where to find the Pax Era and Harmony pods: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review or even play the app games with us. Our opinions are all our own. very stoned. It didn’t take much at all to get there. A few choke-riddled hits and we were on another hilarious planet.

Got Each Other Patty Templeton read Gwynne Garfinkle’s movie monster poetry collection, “People Change,” and wants you to buy it, too. Talk to her about books on Twitter via @PattyTempleton or at instagram.com/ pattytempleton.

Like, not exaggerating. We were on Mars. We sat down to watch some Marvel movie, and I kept hoping HitGirl from “Kick Ass” would pop onto the screen, which made me laugh to myself like a damned idiot. And, at one point I turned to talk to my friend about something, and found that she was flat-out mumbling to herself. That, of course, set me off into hysterics, a state from which I did not emerge. In between laughs, my mouth felt like the freaking Sahara, so I was gulping water and trying not to choke as my friend tried to gather herself and speak coherently. She did not succeed. During one of the commercial breaks, she turned to me, mind blown by whatever nonsense was running through it, and said: “Did you know that Ben Affleck’s name is the same as Afflack?!” And yes, she did the Afflack duck voice to emphasize. We are idiots. Anyway, I loved this vape and the Harmony pod. It was the easiest vape I’ve ever used, and you can even play some weird version of spin the bottle with the vape’s app, should you be so inclined. Just make sure you set the dosing to a manageable one, or you’ll end up making Afflack duck sounds on the couch and then passing out face down on a leather cushion for hours...not that there’s anything wrong with that. —— DGO Pufnstuf

�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 17

[weed]

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Dudes, I really love Girl Scout Cookies, both the strain and the actual cookies. Getting stoned is my favorite time of the day, and Girl Scout cookie time is my favorite time of the year. Thin mints for the win! Anyway, that’s how I knew I would probably like Cookies and Cream, the strain we were reviewing this week from Chronic Therapy. Cookies and Cream is the love child of Starfighter and some unknown Girl Scout Cookies phenotype, and honestly, this is a hook-up we can cosign on. Those two make one endearing hybrid baby. The strain is known for being sweet, like a combination of cookies, vanilla, and nuts, and its dense little nugs are laced with the prettiest little orange strands. You should not mistake that sweetness for a weakness, though. This strain will kick your ass. There’s a reason why it took the top spot in hybrids at the 2014 Denver Cannabis Cup. I’d had this strain sitting on a shelf for a couple of weeks, and I don’t know why it took me so long to pop the lid off of it. I should have dug into this one well before I did. Procrastination will always be my kryptonite. As soon as I dragged that little container off the shelf and popped off the lid, I knew I had a new crush. Anything that smells as good as Cookies and Cream does can be my boo. Especially if it gets me as high as this strain did. I’ve already carved our initials into a tree, so you know it’s for life. As I ground up a few of those little nugs, the smell became even more noticeable, to the point where a friend, who was over at my house to help me with this review (such a hard life), commented on it. Things kept going uphill from there. The strain had a nice, even burn to it, and somehow, it continued to keep those sweet notes, even while on fire. Magic. It didn’t take long before both of us were noticeably high. How did we know? Well, the room started getting really wobbly, that’s how. It kinda felt like everything was leaning toward us, and at one point, I swear I saw the kitchen counter bow under the pressure of the Kuerig. Yes, I was that high. My mind was playing tricks on me, just like the Geto Boys predicted. No shame.

Details Where to find Cookies and Cream: Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, Cortez, chronictherapy.co. Just please leave some for the rest of us. Even better, though, was that while the room was becoming a fun house, this strain also cured this rancid headache I’d been rocking for what felt like a week straight. All my coworkers have been hacking up a lung or two recently, and I think I might have been coming down with something because of the germ sponges I work with. I just could not shake that headache, but a few hits of Cookies and Cream knocked that throbbing trash right outta my brain. Sweet relief was sweet. Again, I don’t know why I didn’t try this before. My lazy nature will one day do me in. I’d like to tell you what happened from there, but I can’t really recall. I remember my arms feeling like they’d been encased in cement, and then I remember feeling the urgent need to close my eyes. I just wanted to melt into the floor, or whatever I could find to lay on. Relaxation does not begin to cover it. This strain is badass, yo. I think it could be useful for anything. Wanna sleep? Smoke a bunch of it. Wanna stay awake and screw around while high? Smoke a little. Wanna get rid of that gnarly headache? Bust this one out. I highly recommend keeping this one in your stash box. Just don’t buy it all, greedy pants, cause I’m going to need to replenish my cache of Cookies and Cream very soon. —— DGO Pufnstuf

18 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[happening] DGO picks in and around Durango DGO pours for Guys’ Night Want to watch the DGO staff bumble through a night of serving beers? Well, you’re in luck because we’ll be the guest hosts at Billy Goat Saloon’s Guys’ Night. Not only will you probably get a good laugh out of Billy Goat trying to make bartenders out of us knuckleheads, but there will also be $2 domestics and $3 Ska pints. So please, please, please don’t laugh too hard when you join us at our new bartending gig. We’ll do our best to be the OK-est bartenders you’ll ever have.

Thursday Montezuma County Republican Central Committee Meeting, noon,

purchase of lunch is encouraged, Shiloh Steakhouse, 5 S. Veach Street. Luminaries Toastmasters, noon, La Plata County Building, 1101 E. Second Ave. Suicide Prevention Community Forum, 12:30 p.m., Durango Public Library,

1900 E. Third Ave. 8 Week Mindful Self-Compassion and Inner Resilience, 5:30 p.m., $250-

$450, reduced payment plan available, Smiley Building, 1309 E. Third Ave., 970-382-9593. Community Acoustic Music Jam, 7

p.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, 970-884-2222. Lifelong Learning, HUMAN MIGRATION: MYTH AND REALITY., 7 p.m., Fort Lewis College, Noble Hall Room 130, 1000 Rim Drive.

Details: Dec. 6, Guys’ Night, 4 p.m., free, Billy Goat Saloon, 39848 Highway 160, Gem Village, thebillygoatsaloon.com

Friday

Avalanche safety in pints

Holiday Gift Sale, 3 p.m., Dolores Public

Is there anything more fitting than the celebration of beer AND snow? Well, apparently not, as Brew Pub & Kitchen and Backcountry Experience teams will join forces to bring you their first Avalanche Pint Night. Not only will you get to enjoy lots of delicious beer (which is a reward in itself), but a dollar from every pint sold will go to Friends of CAIC, a nonprofit that supports avalanche education, forecasting, and safety at the Colorado Avalanche Information Center, and there’ll be a prize drawing for the cause as well. Details: Dec. 6, Avalanche Pint Night, 6:30 p.m., free, Brew Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Drive, facebook.com/events

Holiday Market to warm your Grinch heart Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a good time at the market. It just means you’ll have to get in the spirit and dig into Durango’s holiday version of the Farmers Market. Explore the stands of handmade holiday items and get your hands on the last of this season’s fresh veggies, meats, cheeses, and much, much more. Don’t be a Grinch and miss out on snatching up this year’s locally-made holiday products. Who knows? Maybe your heart will even grow a couple sizes. Details: Dec. 8, Holiday Market, 9 a.m., free, La Plata County Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall, 2500 Main Ave., durangofarmersmarket.com

Noel Night Pass Sales, 1 p.m., Durango

Welcome Center, 802 Main Ave. Library, 1002 Railroad Ave., 970-882-4127. STEAM Lab, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Li-

BCI Media file

»» Christian Barnes of The San Juan Angler dressed as a fly fishing Santa and greeting people during Noel Night 2017 on Main Avenue in downtown Durango. ist Church, 470 West Grand Ave. Ouray Wine, Chocolate and Cheese Festival,

6 p.m., $25, Ouray Community Center, 320 Sixth Ave., 970-325-7065. A Christmas Carol, 7 p.m., $12 for adults,

Manhattan Monday, 5 p.m., password - find it on our social media, The Bookcase & Barber, 601 E. Second Ave.

Tuesday

$10 for students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Noel Night with Lawrence Baca - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main

Gallery, 828 Main Ave., 970-247-3555.

State Street Ballets Nutcracker With the San Juan Symphony- Ballet, 7:30

Letters of Support and Raise a Glass Fundraiser and Artshow, 5 p.m., Hen-

p.m., $32-$45, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Letters of Support and Raise a Glass Fundraiser and Artshow, 10 a.m.,

derson Fine Arts Center Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd.

Fake News – Political Cartoons, 7:30 p.m., $10, Sunflower Theater, 8 E. Main Street.

Ignacio’s Taste of Christmas, 5:30

A Dance Party with DJ noDJ, 9 p.m., $15-$25, no ticket fees, Sheridan Opera House, 110 N. Oak Street, 970-728-6363.

brary, 1900 E. Third Ave., 970-375-3380. Noel Night with Lawrence Baca Opening Reception, 5 p.m., Sorrel Sky

p.m., ELHI Community Center, 115 Ute Street. Mancos Valley Chorus 2018 winter concert, 7 p.m., Mancos United Methodist

Ave., 970-247-3555.

Henderson Fine Arts Center Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd. The Seasonal Apothecary, 6 p.m., $10, Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, 970-884-2222.

Wednesday

Church, 470 W. Grand Ave.

Sunday

A Christmas Carol, 7 p.m., $12 for adults, $10 for students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430.

Noel Night with Lawrence Baca - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main

State Street Ballets Nutcracker With the San Juan Symphony- Ballet, 7:30

Library, 1002 Railroad Ave, 970-882-4127.

Henderson Fine Arts Center Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd.

State Street Ballets Nutcracker With the San Juan Symphony- Ballet, 2

Fired Up Stories, 10:30 a.m., Durango Pub-

p.m., $32-$45, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Story time with Santa, 6 p.m., Dolores

p.m., $32-$45, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Saturday Homebuyer Education Class, 8:30

a.m., $15, Fort Lewis Campus, 1000 Rim Drive. Noel Night with Lawrence Baca - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main

Ave., 970-247-3555. Holiday Farmers Market, 9 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave., 970-749-5582. Holiday Gift Sale, 9 a.m., Dolores Public Library, 1002 Railroad Ave., 970-882-4127. Frosty’s Holiday Craft Fair, 9 a.m., Bay-

field HS Main Gym, 800 County Road 501. Yoga & Brews, 11 a.m., $12-$15, WildEdge

Brewing Collective, 111 N. Market Street. State Street Ballets Nutcracker With the San Juan Symphony- Ballet, 2

Ave., 970-247-3555. Holiday Gift Sale, 11 a.m., Dolores Public

A Christmas Carol, 2 p.m., $12 for adults,

$10 for students and seniors, $8 children 12 and under, Little Theatre - San Juan College, 4601 College Blvd., 505-566-3430. Montezuma Community Barn and Contra Dance, 3 p.m., $5-$10, students

$5, adults $10, family pricing available, Legacy Dance, 20 W. Main Street. Montezuma Community Barn & Contra Dance, 3 p.m., $5-$10, students $5,

adults $10, family $20-$25, Legacy Dance, 20 W. Main Street.

Monday Noel Night with Lawrence Baca - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main

Ave., 970-247-3555.

p.m., $32-$45, Fort Lewis College Community Concert Hall, 1000 Rim Drive.

Letters of Support and Raise a Glass Fundraiser and Artshow, 10 a.m.,

Mancos Valley Chorus 2018 winter concert, 3:30 p.m., Mancos United Method-

Henderson Fine Arts Center Art Gallery, 4601 College Blvd.

Noel Night with Lawrence Baca - Exhibition, 9 a.m., Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main

Ave., 970-247-3555. Letters of Support and Raise a Glass Fundraiser and Artshow, 10 a.m.,

lic Library, 1900 E. Third Ave., 970-375-3380. Public Library, 1002 Railroad Ave., 970-8824127. Pine River Library Board Meeting,

6:15 p.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Drive, 970-884-2222.

Ongoing Henry Stoy, piano at 10:30 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday at Jean-Pierre Bakery and Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Old west stage shows, held at 5:30 p.m. nightly throughout the summer at Bar D Chuckwagon, 8080 County Road 250. Cost is $12-$38 and reservations are preferred. To reserve, visit www.bardchuckwagon.com.

Submissions Submit events for the next week online by noon Monday at www. swscene.com. DGO publishes events online

and in print every Thursday.

�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 19

is EXPANDING and going Bi-Weekly! On January 3, 2019 DGO Magazine along with its current Durango coverage will include Farmington, Pagosa Springs, Mancos, Cortez and Dolores! Purgatory Dolores

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• New Features • In-depth reporting • Fresh new voices • Extended calendar event listings • Exclusive online content • Expanded reach • Weekly newsletter

Make sure you pick up DGO every other week starting January 3, 2019! DGOMAG.COM

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20 | Thursday, December 6, 2018 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)

What further education or training will improve your job or your career? What travel can enrich your life? These are New Moon questions this week.

It’s important to balance work and play. This is why we need vacations. Are you happy with the balance of work and play in your life?

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)

This week’s New Moon is the perfect week to think about how to reduce your debt. You also can focus on how to handle shared property. This is important to you.

This New Moon is the time to make resolutions about how to improve your home and improve your relationships with family members. Think about this.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20)

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)

This week, the only New Moon all year that is opposite your sign is taking place. How can you improve your closest relationships?

What kind of communicator are you? Do you listen, or are you waiting for your turn to speak? The New Moon this week is the perfect week to think about this.

This week, because of the New Moon, it’s appropriate to think of spiritual matters and what your values are. What we believe in the inside is how we act on the outside.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

Are you happy with how you handle your money and take care of your possessions? The New Moon this week

Friendships are important to you. What can you do to improve your friendships? If you want to have more

CANCER (June 21 to July 22)

Bizarro

This week’s New Moon is the best week of the year to think about how to improve your health and also how to improve your job. What are your ideas?

is the time to make resolutions about these things.

friends, be friendly!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

This is the only New Moon all year that forces you to think about your relationship to authority figures – parents, bosses and the police. How do you respond to authority? With respect?

This week, the only New Moon all year in your sign is taking place. Take a realistic look in the mirror to see how you can improve the image you create on your world.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20)

BORN THIS WEEK You are an optimist with clever, persuasive communication skills. People see you as friendly and outgoing. This year, it’s time to take a rest. It’s a more slower-paced, wait-and-see year. Learn how to cooperate with others. Look for ways to practice kindness and be helpful to others. Be relaxed and easygoing. Focus on business and personal relationships. © 2018 King Features Syndicate Inc.

Coloring clues for adults Coloring in your mental health In 2005, a study showed that anxiety levels decreased when the subjects colored in mandalas – apparently, coloring allows us humans to finally switch our brains off and focus on the task at hand. Sounds like everyone needs a mandatory coloring book on their person. Coloring queen The patron saint and point of origin for coloring books is believed to be Kate Greenaway, a British illustrator who created “The ‘Little Folks’ Painting Book.” Children could send their colored-in books to Little Folks magazine and WIN MONEY. Let’s bring this back. Gray shade “The Executive Coloring Book” was the first coloring book for adults. The book, published in 1961, made a mockery of the tedium and orthodoxy of the corporate work environment with phrases like, “This is my suit. Color it gray or I will lose my job.” Barbra break up Singing goddess Barbra Streisand loved coloring books so much she created a song called “My Coloring Book.” In the song, she croons about a break-up in relation to, you guessed it, a coloring book.

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[advice]

Rocky Road | Katie Burford

Should I tell my hook-up’s girlfriend he’s cheating? Dear Rocky Road, I recently went to a wedding in another neighboring town and ended up having a hook-up session with a guy I met at the bar after the wedding. We would have sealed the deal but neither of us had a condom. Well, the next day I was chatting about him with a friend and she asked what his name was. She then pulled him up on Facebook, only to discover that he had just posted an “in a relationship” status four days prior. She then went to the girlfriend’s page and found she and I have several mutual friends. I immediately felt terrible and am now plagued by the question: do I say something to one of our mutual friends or go on letting her think she has found this terrific, wonderful man? Feeling Guilty Dear Feeling Guilty, I have a question for you: why are you feeling guilty? In my estimation, you did nothing wrong. As far as you knew, you were just two consenting adults having a good time. That’s the upside of being unattached – you get to do that. That he was doing it while also, quite recently, having graduated to Facebook official with another party means that he is the one is this situation who should be feeling guilty. And I hope is he is. For a minute (a second, really), I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and theorize that perhaps he and the girlfriend have an open relationship. But even if we grant him that improbability, Mr. Lothario ought to have clued you in. The existence of an

outside entanglement, even a permissive one, might have changed your mind, and that makes it relevant. Let’s look at the more likely scenario, which is that Lothario’s girlfriend believes she and he are in an exclusive and committed relationship. Assuming this, I actually see two separate issues in your quandary: should she be informed, and, if so, how should she find out? Let’s argue that she should be told. If he has led her to believe she is it and she wants him to be her one and only, then this new information could very likely change her mind. He can’t very well be a “terrific, wonderful man” if he’s also cheating and lying, especially at this early stage. By learning this now, she would be saving herself the heartache of continuing under an illusion, only to have it shattered further down the road. Here’s another test: if you were her, would you want to know? So, proceeding on the assumption she should know, how then should she find out? This to me is the more problematic part. Telling mutual friends could actually put her in a more difficult spot by adding shame to the betrayal. Perhaps these mutual friends are not the confidants she would choose to let in on her struggle. If they are FB friends but not cry-on-their-shoulders-in-the-weehours-of-the-night friends, it could be awkward for them and deeply embarrassing for her to have them involved. To be honest, I don’t see a viable intermediary for the information, which puts you in the position of passing it on directly. You would be justified in feeling that such a thing is a lot to ask. He behaved badly and now you’re

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having to deal with the consequences. There is also the possibility that she won’t believe you. If you decided to do it, you would have to divest yourself of any expectations about how she might react. Your side of the street would be clean, and that’s what matters. I would like to circle back to your prerogative as a free agent. I mentioned that hook-ups are one of the available benefits, and that is 100 percent true. Your problem is that you have scruples and that complicates matters. I’m not saying you shouldn’t cash in, but perhaps a little more vetting might save you getting crosswise with those scruples next time. As you’ve seen, social media is your friend in these situations. I also don’t want to leave the topic of cheaters without giving a nod to Esther Perel, the preeminent authority on the subject. Perel is a relationship therapist who gave a riveting 2015 TED talk entitled “Rethinking Infidelity.” She’s also the author of several books, including “Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.” She argues that there is inherent tension between love and lust. “Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery,” she writes. “Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. … Love is about having; desire is about wanting.” If Perel were to put our Lothario on the couch, she would probably ask him if he saw any connection between his decision to commit to his girlfriend and

his subsequent fling with you. His lack of imagination had likely convinced him that his days of wild sex with her were over. “When you pick a partner, you pick a story,” Perel writes. “So what kind of story are you going to write? You are the editors of your life stories. Write well and edit often. And remember ... a life story is not a love story. You can love a lot more people than you can make a life with.” KEEPERS (the part in which I share snippets of life I’d like to remember): I recently had to apply for a passport renewal, which set me back a chunk of change ($110 to be exact). But when the freshly minted document, with its laminated hologram and blue filigreed pages, arrived in the mail, I was stuck by the power I held in my hands. That document (and a credit card in good standing) will get me into almost any country in the world, many without so much as a visa. Countless refugees die each year for nothing more than the lack of such a document. In that light, the fee is pretty paltry. My other keeper is you, my dear reader. I really enjoy this time we have together. Please send me more questions so we can continue meeting like this. I hope it’s been as good for you as it has for me. Katie Burford has worked as a social worker, journalist, university instructor, nanny, and barista. These days, she’s a mom, professional ice cream maker, and writer. Reach her at rocky-road@dgomag.com, @ rockyroadadvice (Twitter) or Rocky Road, 1021 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301.

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�� Thursday, December 6, 2018 | 23

C E L E B R AT I N G WO M E N WO R K I N G I N L A P L ATA A N D MONTEZUMA CO U N T I E S .

LAST WEEK FOR NOMINATIONS SOUTHWEST COLORADO WOMEN IN BUSINESS is a magazine and awards ceremony managed by Ballantine Communications to recognize outstanding women who work in La Plata and Montezuma counties, women who have contributed achievements in their industry and in the community.

ONE WOMAN will be chosen from among all nominees for the outstanding woman award. This year, the awards ceremony is held in part with the Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resource Center. NOMINATIONS will be accepted until midnight Dec. 10, 2018. VISIT DURANGOHERALD.COM/WOMEN for more information and to cast your nominations.