Unsolved in the Four Corners by Ballantine Communications

art entertainment food drink music nightlife March 14-27, 2019

DGO

FREE!

Is there a serial killer stalking Albuquerque, and did a Bernalillo County Sheriff deputy get away with murder?

UNSOLVED IN THE FOUR CORNERS

Also: Drinkin’ at Dolores River Brewery, Loungin’ at the Lizard, and a handful of weed reviews

dgomag.com

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DGO Magazine

STAFF

What’s inside Volume 4 Number 15 Thursday, March 14, 2019

Editor

Loungin’ at the Lizard

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551

Truffle fries and frito pies and ice cream, oh my! Loungin’ Lizard’s menu is a baller mix of comfort food and booze, and Cortez is lucky to have them.

Staff writer Amanda Push apush@bcimedia.com Sales Liz Demko 375-4553 Contributors Katie Burford

From the blog

Drink

Dolores River

Brewery

Eat

Loungin’ Lizard

Food truck

Sound

ABQ shows

Jon E. Lynch

Weed

Lindsay Mattison

Listings

Design/layout

Reviews

Katie Cahill

Colossal Sanders

8 9 9-11

19 St. Patty’s Day Angelica Leicht/DGO Mag

Reader Services

21 Film review

375-4570 Chief Executive Officer

Douglas Bennett

Brews and grub in Dolores Beers and pizza are already a pairing that go perfectly hand in hand, but when you take that pairing and grab a seat at Dolores River Brewery, the combination goes from perfect to downright magical.

V.P. of Advertising David Habrat

6 DGO is a free weekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314.

23 Horoscope/ puzzles

19 St. Patrick’s Day buffoonery Sorry to burst your bubble, but Christmas is not the best holiday of the year. It’s not Easter or Thanksgiving or Halloween, either. It’s definitely St. Patrick’s Day.

Loungin’ in Cortez

/dgomag

Whenever we ask where we should go for lunch in the fair city of Cortez, Loungin’ Lizard is always in the top three recommendations. It’s probably because of the truffle fries.

/dgomag

ON THE COVER Norma Denise Sahm, 17, was a Jane Doe for 18 years before she was identified.

Tell us what you think! DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine CommunicaGot something on your mind? Have a joke or a story Bushmills Red Bush Irish whiskey 1.75L Regular $38.99 / Sale $28.99 tions Inc., P.O. Drawer A, idea or just something that the world needs to know? El Jamon Garnacha 750ml Regular $9.99 / Sale $6.99 / $5.94 12btl Durango, CO 81302 Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

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[news]

FROM THE BLOG

»» News from the perch of DGO’s online lookout you may have missed Homemaking goddess Martha Stewart is getting in on the CBD biz

Stout is made with Colorado base malts, roasted barley, seven specialty malts, Styrian Goldings hops, and 25 pounds of freshly sliced and roasted bull testicles. Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is an assertive, viscous stout with a rich brown/ black color, a luscious mouthfeel and deep flavors of chocolate, espresso and nuts. The beer sports a savory, umami-like note and a roasty dry finish. Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is 7.5% ABV and 3 BPBs. (That’s balls per barrel.)”

I think we can all agree Martha Stewart, the face of homemaking and hand-stenciling your hallway, has gotten substantially cooler since she joined forces with rapper and weed aficionado Snoop Dogg. Case and point, when she asked Snoop to rap while they were stirring brownie mix on “Celebrities with Martha.” So, now that they have their own television show together on VH1, “Martha and Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party,” the two seem to be slowly turning into one another (Snoop published a cookbook, “From Crook to Cook,” containing a recipe for Lobster Thermidor; Stewart sported a mouth grill on their cooking show). Therefore, it seems the natural course would be for Stewart to get in on that green action, just like The Doggfather did.

No comment. Anyway, the brewery releases a new batch of limited edition Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout every year, and according to Wynkoop, it’s only made in “tiny 8-barrel batches (instead of our usual, already small 20-barrel batch),” so if you’re into roasted bull testicles, you should probably track some down before it’s gone. (Also, if you’re into this, there’s something wrong with you. Nobody should drink it.)

Well, friends. We were right. »» Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg. Stewart is teaming up with Canopy Growth, a Canadian marijuana company out of Ontario, to create CBD products generations.” for you and your pets, according to the Denver The following is the 2019 lineup: Post. CBD (unfortunately) won’t make you high as Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue; Lettuce; it’s a non-psychoactive part of the marijuana plant, Robert Randolph & The Family Band; Victor Wooten but it is often used to treat ailments like anxiety Band; Turkuaz; Cha Wa; SPAGA; Veronica Swift; and pain. The company will be releasing products Matthew Whitaker; Delvon Lamarr Organ Trio; for pets first. Mattson 2 Play A Love Supreme; Battle Of SanSnoop Dogg, who owns Casa Verde Capital – a firm tiago; Danny Green Trio Plus Strings; LP And the that invests in start-up cannabis companies – also has Vinyl; Tyree Morris & Hearts of Worship; Voodoo a partnership with Canopy Growth. Orchestra; J-Calvin; Telluride Student All-Stars Jazz Ensemble; The Telluride All-Stars 25th Reunion Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue Band; Little Big Band; La Onda Caribeña; Kingston and Lettuce among Telluride Jazz FesWinter; Stillwater All-Stars; The McCarthy Trio; and tival performances The Speakeasy Jazz Quartet. The organizers of the 43rd Annual Telluride Jazz Festival have released the lineup for the late summer festival. The jazz fest, taking place Aug. 9-11, pulls in artists from all kinds of music genres aside from jazz, including gospel, funk, and soul. Past festival performers include Muddy Waters, Dizzy Gillespie, and Mavis Staples. “The city of New Orleans has always had an influence on the Telluride Jazz Festival earning a special place in our heart” Steve Gumble, festival director, stated in a news release. “I could not think of a better representative than Trombone Shorty to honor that legacy. This year, we’re excited to be celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Student All-Stars Program. Veronica Swift, a darling of the jazz world, returns to the lineup after getting her start here in Telluride years ago as a teenager in the Allstars Program. Once again, we are honored to present a very well-rounded artist line-up with a wide range of appeal to all

Tickets for the Telluride Jazz Festival are on sale now. FYI: You can get bull-testicle flavored beer in Denver, but we’re not sure why File this one under a hard “nope.” Apparently the good folks at Denver’s Wynnkoop Brewery have decided a beer that tastes like hops, barley, and bull balls is a good thing. That’s right. No bull ... here. Wynkoop’s Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout is a thing, and it’s a thing you can drink. The roasted bull testicle brew first started out as an April Fool’s Day joke, but the brewery debuted it at Great American Beer Fest in 2012 and it inexplicably became a hit, so they just kept this bull ball business going, year after year. Here’s how Wynkoop Brewery describes the stout: “A meaty foreign-style stout, Rocky Mountain Oyster

The oiled Aussie hunks of Thunder From Down Under are coming to Sky Ute Casino Hey, laydeeeeez (and gentlemen, of course). Guess who’s comin’ to Sky Ute Casino? That’s right. It’s the tanned-and-oiled Aussie hunks of man-meat from the Thunder From Down Under, a group of male dancers best known for being the scantily-clad, thrusting, bachelorette-thrilling entertainment at Excalibur in Las Vegas. But because we are being inexplicably blessed with this unforgettable gift, you don’t have to travel several hours to Sin City to be sweat on by these Adonis’ in training. All you have to do is travel over to Ignacio and grab a seat at Sky Ute. Ogling has never been easier. Oh, and just as a bonus: the tickets to this hunkshow are pretty darn affordable. We’re talking starting-at-$19 affordable. So, if you’ve ever had the desire to check out a boatload of chiseled Australian dancers, or if you just want to leave the casino smelling like Axe and self-tanner, you should probably schedule this one on your Google calendar. Don’t want to forget about it, now do you? Thunder From Down Under will be performing on March 23 at Sky Ute Casino, 14324 CO-172, Ignacio. Doors open at 6 p.m. and the show starts at 7 p.m. Tickets start at $19; must be 18 or older to attend. For more information, visit skyutecasino.com/events/ thunder-from-down-under/2019-03-23/ or call 888842-4180. To check out more of our exclusive online content, visit DGOmag.com.

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[eat/drink]

Dolores River Brewery: That beer and pizza magic you’re looking for Beers and pizza are already a pairing that go perfectly hand in hand, but when you take that pairing and grab a seat at Dolores River Brewery, the combination goes from perfect to downright magical. It was our first time visiting the small town of about 1,000 people, and by the time we arrived at Dolores’ oldest operating brewery – a mere half hour after it opened – the bar was buzzing with patrons, regulars and tourists alike. Open since 2002, Dolores River Brewery is a hodge podge of vibes and decor that all work in tandem. There’s a disco ball hanging from the ceiling; “Best of my Love” by The Emotions is crooning to customers; band posters stretch across the walls; a model train is tucked away above the bar; and there’s a poster of a woman lazily staring out over the bar with a foaming beer in hand.

»» ABOVE: By the time we reached Dolores River Brewery just a half hour after they opened, the bar was already full and abuzz with customers. LEFT: There is abolutely nothing more comforting than washing down a perfectly cooked pizza with a beer.

There is an instant comfort from the welcoming scene and a sense of familiarity, despite it being our first time at the brewery. The staff are friendly and make no attempts to hide that they’re happy to see you. They’re full of recommendations and are more than willing to let you taste test the beers till you find your match.

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

experienced, and we were instantly on board. We went with The Chevy, a delectable-looking mix of sun dried tomato pesto, bacon, garlic, fresh bocconcini, chevre, Parmesan, and topped with pesto.

We took a seat with a few tourists earnestly looking over a road map. On our other side was a pair of locals discussing the possibility of visiting Iceland. Dolores River Brewery’s menu gives a holistic view of who they are as a business. Aside from listing their food and beer offerings – salads, sandwiches, pizza, and appetizers – they go into detail about the care they put into their cuisine. The brewery has four regular craft beers on their menu: the Demeter Cream, Pale, ESB, and Snaggletooth. They make their brews with the idea that a beer can change the world and bring people together – “loosen tongues and open minds,” as their menu says. Luckily, we feel the same. We went for the Demeter Cream and Snaggletooth (couldn’t pass up that name). The Demeter Cream is a dry ale, the lightest of the bunch, made in the tradi-

tional American cream ale style with a malty flavor. We could tell it would be a great pairing to the pizza we were ordering. The Snaggletooth is a hoppy beer with traces of fruitiness and toffee, and it was already down the hatch by the time we got our pizza. Staff at the brewery spend each day preparing fresh ingredients, and cook the pizza in a small oven that was built on site. The menu states: “There are no conveyor belts, timers, knobs, whistles, or bells in our process, just the watchful eye, and the loving caress of our cooks who create from a lump of dough a masterpiece.” The menu promises the best pizza you’ve ever

Upon first glance and first bite, it was clear Dolores River Brewery takes great pride in their pizza. The Chevy was packed with flavor, and cooked to perfection. The crust was a delightful balance of crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. The creamy sauces blended seamlessly with the crunchy bacon. It was, no lie, some of the best pizza we’d ever eaten, just as promised. With that in mind, if you’re in the area or in the mood for a beautiful drive down US-160/CO-184, hop on the highway and make your way up to Dolores River Brewery. It’s a road trip you won’t regret. —— Amanda Push

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[eat]

Loungin’ Lizard »» Hearty servings of cheese, carbs, and

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Whenever we ask where we should go for lunch in the fair city of Cortez, Loungin’ Lizard is always in the top three recommendations. We were up in the western Colorado town on an errand run (for weed) when we had such a conversation with our budtender. Loungin’ Angelica Leicht/DGO Mag Lizard were the »» We couldn’t get over how delicious this frito pie was. first words out of her mouth, and soothing – the bread was cooked to a we decided it was consistency just crispy enough to add about time we checked this place out some mouth-watering texture, while ourselves. the rest of the burger was a solid mix When we arrived at the downtown of green chili, melted cheddar, lettuce, restaurant, the tables were still abuzz tomato, and onion. An all-around solid, with the lunch rush. Our waitress carb-heaven burger cooked exactly the quickly sat us though, and in no time way we’d requested. we were staring at the menu, so overtaken with the number of delicious options it took us a minute to decide. Our waitress was kind enough to help us navigate the menu, however, and we started with an order of truffle cheese fries. Friends, this was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.

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When they brought us our truffle fries, it took everything we had not let our mouths hang open like the drooling, starving idiots we were. Not one fry in that batch was without a giant helping of gooey cheese. The cheese, melted to heavenly perfection, enveloped the fries in a warm embrace of grease, salt, and fried onions. Instantly, we were fighting over the bowl in a battle as to who could shove the most of this Godsent appetizer into our mouths. We ate so much and so fast that by the time our meals arrived, we were so full of carbs it hurt to even look at our plates. We ended up going with the green chili cheddar beef burger and some good ol’ fashioned frito pie for our second round. The burger was instantly soul

The frito pie, we were told by our companion, was “baller” – a hearty mix of chips, chili, cheese, and a dollop of sour cream and pico de gallo. Regrettably, they left their leftovers in the car for too long afterward and had to sadly do away with them. Even though we were complaining about how full we were, we also couldn’t resist trying one more item on the menu: Loungin’ Lizards homemade ice cream. As our server listed off the different flavors, we found ourselves intrigued by the salted caramel flavor with pistachios. This was our first rodeo when it came to homemade ice cream, and we did not leave disappointed. The ice cream came out quickly, dished up in two perfectly rounded scoops. It was grainier than storebought ice cream, and the nutty pistachios gave it a pleasant pop of texture with an earthy crunch. After dessert, however, it was time to cut ourselves off before we were too full of carbs and sugar to move – a win in our books. —— Amanda Push

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[eat]

BADASS FOOD ALERT: There’s a new food truck at 11th Street Station, and it has tortas A few months ago, I spent a week in Mexico, and I thought I might never come back. It was mostly because of the tacos ... but then again, it’s always the tacos. They just reel me in and make me see life anew through rose-colored glasses. To be specific, it was Tulum’s al pastor tacos that stole my heart. The pork roasting vertically on a shawarma-style spit with a fresh pineapple slice speared onto the top, dripping its juice over the perfectly caramelized exterior, was everything. After you’d order, they’d shave off some meat and slap it unceremoniously onto a freshly made tortilla. It was kinda the best thing ever, and did I mention this taco cost just 50 cents? Yeah, I had a hard time making that flight home. The taco cart was calling. I also found a second love down there, and while I can’t say it beats out tacos for my affection, it did come in a very close second. A bustling open-aired restaurant down the street from my Airbnb was serving up tortas, sandwiches that were so crave-worthy that »» The delicious torta from 11th Street’s newest food truck. We’re obsessed. I almost cried when I found out the restaurant closed at 3 p.m. (no late night showcase the fruity side of these peppers, but I’d tortas? Life is so cruel). Soft telera bread like to buy a jar, please. Served up with a side of salsa split in half and stuffed with savory meat, grilled and a tasty salad featuring marinated tomatoes, onions, and some kind of awesome sauce ... that cucumbers, and radishes, it was super filling and sounds okay, but then they threw the whole sandfull-flavored. It’s definitely a sando I’ll go back for wich straight on the greasy porky griddle and gave again and again. it a quick toast, transforming the soft bread into a crispy-on-the-outside, squishy-on-the-inside expeThey also have burritos on the menu, which I 100 rience. It’s like a panini that doesn’t make you hate percent had to try because I’m a fat kid who loves everything by tearing up the inside of your mouth eating all the things. The tasty tortilla was shoved every time you take a bite. full of thinly sliced carne asada steak (or, al pastor, So, imagine my delight when I found out the new food truck at 11th Street Station had (drum roll) tortas on the menu! Not only do they have them, but you get to choose between carne asada and (roll it again) al pastor. Seriously, I think the new owners of this cart have been reading my diary, because it’s simply too much of a coincidence. How did their torta stand up to my Mexico experience? It brought me right back to the beach, delivering a straight fire, phe-frickin-nomenal flavor with every bite. Savory beans were slathered onto one side of the griddled bread while thick slices of queso fresco tiled the other. Inside there were layers of creamy avocado, savory meat, and pickled jalapeños that were so tasty, I can’t even talk about it. I’m not sure how they managed to remove the spice and

if you prefer), soft beans, tangy sour cream, plenty of guacamole, and fresh pico de gallo. It was well rolled and pressed flat, so you didn’t risk spilling out the contents with every bite. Most importantly, everything inside was well-mixed. It’s a silly pet peeve, but I seriously appreciate it when your burrito builder takes the time to squish the contents together before rolling it up. There’s nothing worse than getting all the sour cream in the left bite and nothing but meat with the right bite. Come on, people, mix it up! You can also get tacos for $2.50 each. They’re small – what I’d like to call a three-bite taco – but they’re filled with meat. Order one on the side of your burrito, or order a trio for a filling meal. Of course, I chose the al pastor, which was an ideal level of mild-to-me-

Amanda Push/DGO Mag

dium spice. The chopped pineapples on top really tie the taco together, adding a cooling, tropical element that also injects the perfect amount of juiciness to the taco. Add in crunchy onions and herbaceous cilantro and you have a winner. By that point, I was too full to try the nachos and quesadillas, and I haven’t made it back in time to hit them up for breakfast. But a crispy breakfast tostada or a bacon and egg taco sounds right up my alley. Then there’s something called the breakfast nachos…I mean, any excuse to eat nachos for breakfast is absolutely a good one. I’m pretty stoked that they’re open from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm so I can get my fill of tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Adding Mexican food to the mix is an excellent complement to the other carts at 11th Street: Indonesian Chinese fusion, wood-fired pizza, sushi and poke bowls, and gourmet sliders. There’s literally something for everyone, no matter what you’re in the mood for. Now I just have to wake myself early enough to make it there before 11:30 am to try out the breakfast goods! —— Lindsay Mattison

�� Thursday, March 14, 2019 | 7

[sound]

March

APRil

MOON HOOCH ARAMBOA Alya Nereo Elijah Ray & amber Lily Zach Deputy Tone Ranger cuckoo’s 20th anniversary party

Hey, noobs: Don’t miss these sweet Albuquerque concerts this month

March 23 NEW MEXICO PHILHARMONIC Where: Popejoy Hall Time: 6 p.m. Price: $52-196 Tickets: nmphil.org

Hey, ABQ! If you’re in Albuquerque – or if you’re enough of a music fan to drive to ABQ for some sweet ass concerts – March is the month for you. Well, to clarify, the LATTER part of March is the part of the month for you.

March 26

After all, the city just a few hours from our fair area will be seeing a large range of killer acts coming through this month, including performances from Death Cab for Cutie, who just released their latest album, “Thank You for Today,” in August 2018. In case you weren’t familiar, that weirdo rock band with ol’ Ben Gibbard, on vocals, guitar, piano; Nick Harmer on bass; Dave Depper on guitar, keyboards, and vocals; Zac Rae on keyboards and guitar; and Jason McGerr on drums, will possess your heart. There’s nothing creepy about that.

Where: Sunshine Theatre

What we’re trying to say is: your plans should involve not missing these upcoming concerts that’ll be taking place in ABQ over the next few weeks. Can we hitch a ride?

March 30

March 20

Time: 8 p.m.

Where: El Rey Theater

IL DIVO

Price: $69-175

Time: 4 p.m.

Where: Kiva Auditorium

Tickets: livenation.com/

Price: $50

LORDS OF ACID Time: 8 p.m. Price: $41-71 Tickets: holdmyticket.com/ event/324300-lords-of-acid-pretty-inkink-tour

ESCAPE THE FATE

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Where: Popejoy Hall

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Time: 6 p.m.

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Price: $39-117 Tickets: nmphil.org SWMRS

APRil

euforquestra busters ghost

Guest Acts: The Regrettes; Beach Goons

Find us at:

Where: Sunshine Theatre

72 Suttle St. Unit B Bodo Park Durango 7 Days a Week

For Tickets visit:

Cuckoos or Animas Trading Co

Online @ AnimasCityTheatre.com

Time: 8 p.m. Price: $37-48 Tickets: ticketfly.com/event/1801231death-cab-for-cutie-albuquerque/

EVERETT STREET

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Where: Kiva Auditorium

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Guest act: My Brightest Diamond

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March 31

SOUTHWEST VAPOR The area’s best selection of vaping products

Time: 8 p.m.

—— Amanda Push

LIGHT

8 | Thursday, March 14, 2019 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[weed]

White Animal Diamonds knocked me on my proverbial arse I woke up in a dead panic from a death-like sleep this morning, and I normally would attribute it to sheer laziness and daylight savings time, but this time I’m attributing it to White Animal Diamonds from Chronic Therapy in Cortez.

guarantee I was blowing out vapor, as the pen works just fine, thanks, and I clearly got even higher, but in my stoned mind, it was a puzzle. The last thing I remember before it all goes black is that I kept hearing drums. Like, not Travis Barker animal-style drumming, but a rhythmic cadence, one that was more ceremonial than musical. As you may know from my other reviews (provided you can bring yourself to read more than one of these dumb things), I don’t live near ANYTHING. There were no drums anywhere near me. Still, I heard them loud and clear.

Why, you ask? Well, because I vaped some of those shiny yellow diamonds – crystallized extract with super high THC percentages; in this case, 81.02 percent THC – last night before bed and, believe it or not, that’s pretty much the last thing I remember. I probably should have been more, uh, conservative in my dosing of White Animal, which smelled curiously strong but not overwhelmingly skunky or diesel-y, the two scents that generally warn me to take it slow. It smelled cleaner, more like citrus, and between that and the sticky terpene soup it sat in, I figured I was fine to ingest a lot of it. Uh, I was not. A few hits in and I was blazed with a capital Z. My face felt like I was sitting in the direct line of a fan’s airflow, and I felt like my skin was somewhere between on fire (in a good way; alive is a better word, I guess) and numb. I legit felt my eyes lower in one heavy movement, like a sleepy synchronized swimmer couple ... or a very high one. They stayed at half-mast until things went blank, which happened pretty darn quickly after. But before things go blank, I remember two or three very specific things. I remember hearing a knock at my bedroom door – odd, cause no one was around to be knocking – and I stood there, paranoid, trying to figure out whether to answer it. The high school stoner in me must have emerged,

And then, things go blank.

Details Where to find White Animal Diamonds: Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, Cortez, chronictherapy.co. Price: $35 a gram scared of either the cops or the parental figures, neither of which live in my house. And, when I finally did gather up the balls to go answer it, surprise! Ain’t nobody behind it. Just a phantom knock courtesy of my extremely high brain. The next thing I remember is being convinced I actually wasn’t that high, so I should keep vaping White Animal Diamonds to GET high. Brilliant, right? Anyway, I attempted to vape another rice grain-sized portion, but I couldn’t quite figure out whether I was using the vape correctly. And, by that I mean I couldn’t tell if I was blowing out any vapor. I can almost

Dispensary listings Durango Acme Healing Center, 1644 Co Rd 203, 970-247-2190, acmehealingcenter.com Colorado Grow Co., 965 1/2 Main Ave., 970-259-1647, coloradogrowcompany.com Durango Organics - Bodo Park, 72 Suttle Street, Suite F, 970-259-3674, durangoorganics.com Durango Organics - Grandview, 37 Co Rd 232, 970-426-4381, durangoorganics.com Durango Rec Room, 145 E. College Drive, 970-764-4087, durangorecroom.com The Greenery, 208 Parker Ave., Suite E, 970403-3710, durangogreenery.com The Homestead, 927 CO-3, 970-422-3282, info@mammothfarms.com Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Rocky Mountain High, 120 E. 36th Street, 970-259-4093, rockymountainhigh.co Santé , 742 ½ Main Ave., 970-375-2837, santecolorado.com Telluride Bud Company, 3473 Main Ave., 970-422-8311, telluridebc.com

I have no idea whether I actually passed out at that point or just got so high that I was on another planet, but either way, that’s what happened.

Cortez

Before you say it’s just my dumb decisions playing in to this equation, though, I have other evidence that this stuff will knock you on your ass, even if you’re moderate about your usage. I gave it to a friend a couple of days prior for kicks while I partook in another strain, and then watched as she proceeded to warble the opening notes to a song from “The Little Mermaid.” I shit you not. She remembers nothing.

Durango Organics Cortez, 1104 E. Main Street, 970-565-6500, durangoorganics.com

So, yeah. Animal is an apropos name for this strain and this batch of diamonds, which will make you hear drums or sing Disney songs very poorly. It’s a fun ass concentrate, but take it slowly, especially if you’re in front of someone. After all, you don’t want your jerk-off friends telling people you sang “The Little Mermaid” every chance they get, now do you?

LivWell Mancos, 449 Railroad Ave. #1, 970533-9848, livwell.com/mancos

—— DGO Pufnstuf

Chronic Therapy, 1020 S. Broadway, 970529-2045, chronictherapy.co Doobie Sisters, 695 N. Broadway, 970-5652345, doobiesistersco.com

The Herbal Alternative, 1531 Lebanon Road, 970-529-7007, theherbalalternative.net LivWell Cortez, 1819 E. Main Street, 970565-9577, livwell.com/cortez The Medicine Man, 310 E. Main Street, 970-564-5181, cortezmedicineman.com

Mancos The Beacon, 230 N. Oak, 970-533-9848 The Bud Farm, 385 N. Willow Street, 970533-9931, thebudfarm.net

Pagosa Springs Good Earth Meds. 600 Cloman Blvd. #1, 970-731-3202, goodearthmeds.com The Green House, 270 E. Pagosa Street, 970-264-4420, greenhousepagosa.com Pagosa Therapeutics, 235 Bastille Drive, 970-731-4420, pagosatherapeutics.com San Juan Strains, 365 E. Pagosa Street, Unit B, 970-264-5323, sanjuanstrains.com

�� Thursday, March 14, 2019 | 9

[weed]

ROLL THE DICE, WIN A BIKE! There is no shame in the

Haterade rosin lava game

We would normally steer you away from drinking the Haterade (sorry – I’m so sorry for that cheesy line), but this week, we’re going to encourage you to take a big swig of that salty liquid. Erh, a hearty inhale of that sweet rosin vapor, rather. You’re probably wondering what the hell we’re talking about, so let me get right to it. This week we tried a little product called Lazercat Premium Rosin Lava, and the strain we grabbed off the shelf was Haterade, a mix of Grape Cookies and Ponzi Scheme. That is the last time I ask our other pot writer, Sir Blaze Ridcully, to go pick up product for me.

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Cringy name aside, this rosin lava proved to be well worth the hefty price tag. And Prohibition has three strains to choose from, so if you don’t want to drink that ol’ Haterade, you can opt for one of the other strains and be just fine. Anywho, you might not be familiar with this product, so let me school you before we launch into our actual review (ie the log of how dumb we are after ingesting THC). Lazercat’s products are made from the flower they grow, which is pressed using 90 micron and larger live heads from their crystal water hash. They heat it to promote THC crystal growth, and the result? Holy hell, you guys. The pale yellow crystalline hash is the most beautiful consistency. And, unlike other concentrates, their rosin lava doesn’t readily degrade, which means you can store it at room temp. No fridge for this bad boy! I know you’re side-eying me right now, but it matters. You know how some more crystalline concentrates can clog your vape pen and make a huge ass mess? The kind of mess that sticks to your fingers, and your counter, and ultimately makes you want to hurl the pen across the room? Holy Lazercat, does this rosin not do ANY of that. I used the dab end of a vape pen to inhale this stuff, and it was like pure butter to work with. I just stuck the pen right into the rosin lava and got the most wicked vapor, which took a nosedive right into my lungs. And, right after my lungs, it routed straight to my brain, which makes

Details Where to find Haterade Premium Rosin Lava: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com Price: $96 a gram Caveats: Prohibition didn’t bribe us for a good review. Our opinions are all our own.

sense, considering this Haterade has 79.88 percent THC in it. It didn’t take much to send me to some far-off planet, either. For real, though. My notes for this strain don’t even make sense. It’s stuff like: “Blaze is humming the strangest song.” and “I felt like we were saying and I’m not gonna say it and it was ridiculous.” I have given up trying to decode them. I think it’s clear we were all high, high, very high. I remember I had a very dry mouth, which was worsened by the fact that I couldn’t stop laughing at everything. Have you ever seen that Spongebob episode where Spongebob accidentally dries himself out and turns into a dry sponge? That was my mouth. I also vaguely remember thinking I was drunk – my notes say “I thought I was drunk but I think I’m hig (high).” I don’t know why I THOUGHT I was high; I was most definitely high. I also most definitely passed right tf out on my face shortly after and slept like a milk-drunk baby. Is the name of this rosin lava strain dumb? Yes. Is it worth overlooking because of how badass this rosin lava is? Uh, absolutely. There is no shame in my Haterade game. —— DGO Pufnstuf

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[weed]

Axilla Shatter: Maybe only smoke it at night Hi there. I have a little friendly warning for you. I’ll give it to you in two parts. 1.) Go grab yo’self some Axilla Shatter from Pagosa Therapeutics or you’ll regret your life choices, and 2.) ONLY USE IT AT NIGHT. I mean that.

This particular product absolutely turned me into a coughing disaster, mind you, but that’s part of why I smoked alone in my room. (The other part is that I am antisocial.) And, after it turned my lungs to charcoal bricks, it turned me into a puddle of giggles and interesting theories, which I felt necessary to text out to people because they were to me, at that time, sheer brilliance. You know those strains that make you super creative and convince you that you’re the next Basquiat, or Poe, or uh ... Drake or something? Yep, that’s Axilla Shatter. It will help you channel your inner creative genius, even if you’re the only one who can see it. It will also convince you that you can hear the chirping of a cacophony of crickets. I was just laying there, basking in my own brilliance, and I suddenly I thought I could hear the mid-summer calls of annoying insects. I looked around, confused at the idea that I could suddenly hear crickets inside my damn house. I think I knew somewhere in my brain that I couldn’t be hearing a bunch of crickets in the dead of winter with several feet of snow and ice looming on the ground, and that sent me into the very best giggle fit. The faux-chirping quickly waned, though, and in its place, I had an earworm of Sublime’s “Garden Grove,”

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Why do I mean that? Well, friends ... if you smoke it during the day, you’re going to feel great, be super freaking hungry, and then pass out stone cold on the couch for several hours, hours in which you should have been writing or doing the dishes or something. I luckily did not smoke – nay, vape – this indica-dominant concentrate with 78.1 percent THC during the day because I have learned my lesson with Pagosa’s products. I can only ingest them when I have absolutely nothing to do, or I’ll end up making a total hilarious fool of myself. I vaped it at night, alone, in my room, like a total tool, and it was awesome.

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which played on a loop. I like that song, so I’ll take it, but I can imagine that if the last song you listened to was like, “Macarena” or something, it would be grating. Luckily I’m entirely too cool to listen to “Macarena.” Anyway, after those two weird auditory things, this shatter kicked back into the optimal indica high. I was feelin’ all of my nerves in my skin, and at one point, I could feel the back of my throat. I opted to kick back and roll with it, which was smart as hell, because I don’t know if I could have used my limbs for much at that point. I don’t know what really happened from there, other than I passed out at some point in a hardcore sleep coma. And, when I woke up, I was frigging starving. I stumbled to the kitchen, dug out a package of peanut butter crackers, and then ate them in a supine position on my bed. There are still bright orange cracker crumbs on my sheets. This is a very good shatter, you guys. It made everything, even those fake crickets, better. Just heed my warning and maybe choose a less crumbly snack and you’ll be all good. —— DGO Pufnstuf

�� Thursday, March 14, 2019 | 11

FOUR CORNERS’

FLYING OBJECTS (More than 30 years later, researchers are still dedicated to the mystery of the Aztec UFO crash) Amanda Push DGO STAFF WRITER

he site of the 1948 UFO crash sits just north of Aztec, New Mexico, and it’s not an easy place to find. It’s hidden inside a barren desert landscape and surrounded by rugged dirt roads, eerie rock formations, and arid shrub life along County Road 2770.

The Aztec UFO incident is a tale we hadn’t heard until a couple of months ago. In March 1948, as the story goes, a 100foot saucer is believed to have crashed just north of Aztec. Unlike the Roswell crash, which took place only eight months prior, the Aztec UFO is believed to have landed on Earth mostly intact, with its occupants killed by the impact. The government is believed to have then descended upon the site to sweep up its contents and place them in a black hole of red-taped secrecy. It took us two trips to Aztec to search for the crash site, and even then, we were unsuccessful. On our first trip, arrogance prevailed, and we didn’t bother to look up the directions ahead of time. The terrain proved rough and confusing, and out of fear of getting stuck on the mesa, we turned around, defeated. The second trip we planned more carefully, printing out a map and paying attention to the roads we passed. We found the parking area and the scraggy mountain bike trail, but the rocky route was hard to follow, and we had to guess at what we hoped was the right direction. We kept an eye out for a plaque commemorating the site, but alas, we were once again unsuccessful, and began to worry about getting lost as the sun disappeared behind the mesa. We headed back to the car, disappointed. As we drove back down the winding dirt roads, we passed a rock formation that could pass as the Sphinx in the oncoming

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darkness, and agreed that of all the places we’ve traveled in the Four Corners region, if we were going to encounter a UFO, it’d be here.

A meeting of the minds The 1948 Aztec UFO crash incident is a controversial topic among those who discuss the extra-terrestrial. There are many a theory, including talks of cover-ups and hoaxes. But while there are plenty of layman hypotheses, there are only a couple of experts on the subject, and none are more qualified than Scott and Suzanne Ramsey and Frank Thayer, co-researchers and authors of “The Aztec UFO Incident.” The Ramseys have spent more than 30 years and $500,000 researching this event, and it’s hard to imagine anyone more dedicated to the Aztec UFO crash. In fact, Scott and Suzanne even met through their mutual interest in the event. Suzanne was a child living in South Dakota when she first heard of Aztec. It was a decade after Variety magazine columnist Frank Scully published his book, “Behind the Flying Saucers,” in 1950, which documented the incident. “My parents moved to Aztec, New Mexico. ... My mom actually wanted to move there because of the incident and was grossly disappointed when she got there that nobody talked about it.” Scott later became a guest on Suzanne’s local news talk radio show, For Your Information, and the rest is history. The trio was drawn to the Aztec story because of the level of documented proof about the incident occurring. “I guess I was intrigued because I thought, ‘How did something spectacular happen, and all the spotlight was put on Roswell, and this is much more documented?’” Scott said. “I’ll speak for all of us, but none of us picked it. We did not pick it. It picked us,” Suzanne said. “It isn’t like we sought out Continued on Page 14

�� Thursday, November 15, 2018 | 13

FOUR CORNERS’

FLYING OBJECTS (More than 30 years later, researchers are still dedicated to the mystery of the Aztec UFO crash) Amanda Push DGO STAFF WRITER

darkness, and agreed that of all the places we’ve traveled in the Four Corners region, if we were going to encounter a UFO, it’d be here.

�� Thursday, November 15, 2018 | 13

»» LEFT: Gabriel Distefano was 14 when her body was found in Harrisville, Utah. She’d been shot, wrapped in plastic, and dumped near a construction site.

»» CENTER: Norma Denise Sahm, 17, was a Jane Doe for 18 years before she was identified. Her killer may have become a Bernalillo County Sheriff’s employee.

»» RIGHT: Joyce Tina Gallegos, 21, was last seen alive in a car at the Paramount Theatre in Ogden, Utah. She was later found floating in the Ogden River, killed by two bullets to her head.

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MURDERS ON THE MESA

»» From the West Mesa Bone Collector to the case of Norma Denise Sahm, these unsolved crimes still haunt the Four Corners By Amanda Push DGO STAFF WRITER

decade has passed since a woman and her dog accidentally stumbled upon the mass grave of 11 women buried in the New Mexico desert outside Albuquerque, and there is still no resolution as to who could be The West Mesa Bone Collector, the serial killer responsible for their deaths. The Albuquerque case may seem out of the ordinary, but unsolved murder rates in America are higher than we think. Obscenely higher. In an FBI report that studied homicides across 16,000 law enforcement agencies in 2017, the bureau found that about 40 percent went unsolved. Some cities in the Four Corners have even higher unsolved rates. From 2010 to 2017, out of the 362 homicides investigated in Denver, 55 percent went without closure, according to an analysis by the Washington Post. Also in that analysis, data showed that during that same timeline, 39 percent of 378 Albuquerque homicides went unsolved; and from 2011 to 2017, 55 percent of 914 Phoenix homicides were not cleared. Behind these numbers, though, are people. People with dimension, families, friends, personalities, goals, and flaws. Some had fallen on hard times. Some trusted the wrong people. Many were just going about their daily lives. We hope that by telling these stories from the Four Corners, more attention will brought to these cases, and it will raise the chances that there will be justice for these victims. Continued on Page 16

�� Thursday, March 14, 2019 | 15

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Norma Denise Sahm Norma Denise Sahm was 17 years old when she ran away from Hogares Youth Facility, a juvenile center in Albuquerque. Her body was found a year later in 1987 – Sahm been shot to death – but she wasn’t formally identified for almost two decades. She was instead labeled a “Jane Doe” and kept in an anthropology museum for 17 years before she was identified using DNA. In the meantime, Judi Sahm, Norma’s mother, spent those years “calling the police, medical investigators, the media and politicians trying to get information about her daughter’s case and help in finding her,” according to a 2005 article by the Albuquerque Journal. The twist? A Bernalillo County Sheriff deputy,

who was 14 at the time Sahm disappeared, was one of the last people to see her alive, according to the Journal. After Sahm’s body was identified in 2005, the unnamed deputy was investigated for the slaying and was placed on paid leave during the investigation. However, due to a technicality in the law that was in place at the time of Sahm’s murder, Bernalillo County investigators were unable to pursue murder charges against him. New Mexico legislation at the time of Sahm’s murder stated that a person must be 15 years old in order to be tried as an adult. The law was changed in 1996 and now allows 14-year-olds to be charged as adults. The deputy was a mere six weeks from his 15th birthday when Sahm vanished. West Mesa Murders It’s been 10 years since the bodies of 11 women were found buried in the

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and salesman, a licensed minister, a board member of the St. John Baptist Church, and an auto mechanics student at Pikes Peak Community College, according to the Denver Post’s blog on Colorado cold cases. But on April 23, 1994, a mail package sent to the Livingston home changed all that. That morning, Judith, Thomas’ wife, picked up a package from the post office. When she returned with the package, Thomas opened it and triggered a military grenade inside. The explosion threw Judith 10 feet, breaking her arm and giving her severe head injuries. Thomas, the father of four children ages 2 to 12, was killed. The explosion was so forceful it sent shrapnel through two blocks of the neighborhood. During the investigation, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobaccos and Firearms agents and El Paso County Sheriff officers found that the bomb was no amateur-hour job. Thomas’ killer had built the bomb in a way so that the package would only explode when opened. Even if it was jostled around when handled by postal workers, the murderer made sure that the grenade would only go off once it reached the intended target.

Several theories have been presented as to who might have wanted to kill Thomas. A year before his murder, he had a run in with a Fort Carson soldier who was later arrested for running an ATF agent off the road. There were reports of a “bespectacled, long-haired man” loitering at the post office and near the Livingston’s home. The family may have been targeted because Thomas and Judith were a mixed-race couple – Thomas was African American and Judith was white. Despite all the different theories, however, Thomas’ killer has never been brought to justice. Shelley Robertson While he was never charged for her murder, many believe that 24-year-old Shelley Robertson may have fallen prey to and become one of the many victims of serial killer Ted Bundy. The Arvada High School graduate was an avid traveler during her short life. According to an article by Westword, she spent a year at a mission in Biloxi, Mississippi, a semester in Continued on Page 18

Best to Enjoy St. Patrick’s Day! Plenty of green in here! Wxstorm/English Wikipedia

»» The view of downtown Albuquerque and Manzano Mountains from the West Mesa. In what became known as the West Mesa Murders, the bodies of 11 women were found on the West Mesa in an undeveloped area. Their killer remains unknown.

desert just outside Albuquerque, and still, there are no answers as to who is responsible for their untimely deaths. In 2009, Christine Ross and her dog, Ruca, left Ross’ west Albuquerque home to go for a walk. During their outing, Ruca discovered a bone that Ross thought looked human and called the police. What Ross didn’t yet know was that she had just stumbled upon the mass gravesite of the chillingly named West Mesa Bone Collector. Over the next few weeks, the Albuquerque Police Department unearthed the bodies of nine women, two teenage girls, and a fetus. Referred to officially as the 118th Street Homicides, their ages ranged from as young as 15 to 32, and all had gone missing between 2001-2005.

The West Mesa Bone Collector is believed to be responsible for the deaths of Jamie Barela, 15; Monica Candelaria, 22; Victoria Chavez, 26; Virginia Cloven, 24; Syllania Edwards, 15; Cinnamon Elks, 32; Doreen Marquez, 24; Julie Nieto, 24; Veronica Romero, 28; Evelyn Salazar, 27; and Michelle Valdez, 22.

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While many suspects have been put forth, the Albuquerque serial killer remains at large.

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�� Thursday, March 14, 2019 | 17

[true crime] From Page 17

really large impact, and of course it slams me into the seat in front of me,” Neal Hallford, a passenger, told NPR. “Then all of the lights go off inside the train car.”

Barra de Navidad, Mexico with her Red Rocks Community College class, and traveled to Alaska with her friend, Susan, where they spent a year in Clam Gulch processing fish.

The train had been derailed in the middle of the Arizona desert, more than 50 miles from Phoenix.

Roberston tragically vanished on June 29, 1975. Her body was found 24 days later, having been dumped in the Willie May Mine, one mile east of Berthoud Falls, Colorado.

Bates was killed; 78 passengers were injured. During the investigation, notes from the “Sons of Gestapo” were found around the crash site. The tracks had been tampered with – the railroad spikes had been removed and left by the tracks.

Clear Creek County investigator Bob Denning interviewed Bundy in Salt Lake City while he was being tried for the kidnapping of another girl. Bundy reportedly told him, “I don’t want to talk about that.” Though the prevailing theory is that she was a victim of one of the vilest men to have ever lived, Robertson’s case is still considered open.

Utah Gabriel Distefano and Joyce Tina Gallegos Joyce Tina Gallegos and Gabriel Distefano may not have known each other while they were alive, but investigators believe their deaths are forever linked by the same person. According to the Deseret News, Gallegos, 21, was last seen on August 11, 1982, in the parking lot of an Ogden, Utah movie theater. Her body was found 11 days later in the Ogden River. She’d been shot twice in the head. Distefano, just 14 years old, had been on her way to a party in Riverdale, Utah when she vanished, just a mere four days after Gallegos. Distefano was later found in a ditch, wrapped in plastic, in Harrisville, Utah. She, too, had been shot in the head. While the cases have never been solved, Utah police believe they are the work of the same person. The bullets from both cases were sent to a crime lab, where it was found that the bullets were fired from the same gun. In 2018, the Deseret News reported that police

The identity of the Sons of Gestapo remains a mystery. No one had before, or since, heard of the group. Courtesy of FBI

»» In 1995, Amtrak’s Sunset Limited was traveling near Palo Verde, Arizona when it was purposefully derailed by saboteurs. One car attendant, Mitchell Bates, was killed, and 78 people were injured.

were re-working the case, this time with the help of the advancements in forensic technology. Cody Rodriguez The death of Cody Rodriguez may have initially been determined a suicide by police, but his family is gathering evidence that may say otherwise. In 2008, Rodriguez, 20, was found shot inside his Rosa Park apartment. According to ABC4 News, the Salt Lake City Police Department determined it was a suicide after an investigation and a report by the state’s medical examiner. Rodriguez’s family didn’t buy it, though, especially after his mother, Ina, received a letter from the medical examiner stating: “no evidence of soot, gunpowder stippling or other visible residues of weapon discharge was seen on the hands of (Rodriguez).” The family has also hired a private investigator who is looking into the case. Jason Jensen, the family’s investigator, told ABC4 News in January 2019 that after looking over crime

scene pictures from the Salt Lake City Police Department, he spotted a trail of blood leading from another apartment. Blood spatter also found on Rodriguez’s roommate also seemed suspicious, the private investigator told the new station.

Arizona Mitchell Bates It was a story that made national headlines, but the death of Mitchell Bates and the purposeful derailment of the Sunset Limited train remains open without anyone to blame. Amtrak’s Sunset Limited was headed from Miami to Los Angeles that fateful day in October 1995. Mitchell Bates, 41, was working as a sleeping car attendant. He had served the railroad for 20 years. Then, without warning, around 1:30 a.m., passengers heard the highpitched scream of the brakes as the train tried to stop. “Just [an] incredible shriek, then a

Brenda Gerow It was 34 years before the body of Brenda Gerow was identified, but when investigators did finally put a name to the woman found in 1981, it was through a photo that was discovered in the possession of her suspected murderer. Gerow was 20 years old when she left her home in Nashua, New Hampshire, with John Kalhauser, a convicted killer, according to Lowell Sun News. Then, in 1981, at the age of 21, she was found violently murdered in Pima County, Arizona. Her body remained unidentified until a photo of her – a beautiful blonde woman holding a bouquet of flowers – was found in the possession of Kalhauser decades later in 1995, when he was arrested for a 1979 attempted murder. In 1999, he was convicted of the murder of his ex-wife, Diana van Reeth, who disappeared in 1995. The photo looked similar to a facial reconstruction investigators had done on a Jane Doe, and they released the photo on social media. Her body and photo were confirmed to be Gerow in 2015. Kalhauser has not been charged for Gerow’s murder, and there are still more questions than answers in this case.

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St. Patty’s Day is the best holiday of the year, even if nobody knows who Patrick is »» From impromptu bar crawls to Guinness alternatives, here’s how to make green beer day even better I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but Christmas is not the best holiday of the year. It’s not Easter or Thanksgiving or Halloween, either. It’s definitely St. Patrick’s Day. I mean, I couldn’t really tell you who Patrick is or why we’re celebrating him (sorry, that’s probably sacrilegious), but I’m all about any excuse to cook up a feast and share it with all my favorite people. It comes at the ideal time, too, giving you a reason to celebrate smack dab in the middle of the month, one that might be cold and snowing or warmish and windy. It’s likely muddy, and it’s not necessarily Durango’s best month when it comes to weather. Not only that, but St. Patrick’s always follows shortly after the worst day of the year. You know the one: where we spring forward for no good reason at all, sacrificing an hour that we don’t have to give to the gods of Daylight Savings. So why not hunker down inside, fill your belly with cured meats and potatoes, and adjust to your new time zone with the help of an Irish car bomb? To help you get into St. Patrick’s Day as enthusiastically as I am, I’ll give you three options: make your own pub crawl, attend a Durango event, or plan a house party. Make your own pub crawl Almost every brewery in town has St. Patrick’s Day worthy beer on tap, so why not make a crawl out of it? Start out at Ska, where they’re slinging $4 Steel Toe Stouts and $3 specialty casks. There might be a long day ahead, so you should probably get in a good base by snagging a Big Billy sandwich (pastrami, swiss, kraut, and Rude Boy beer mustard on toasted country bread – yes, please!). Then grab your designated driver (or catch an Uber) and head downtown, stopping in at Carver’s for a pint of Irish Stout. Why drink (ahem) multinational corporate-owned Guinness when you have craft beer alternatives at your fingertips? Then, head up the road and keep on that stout train with Steamworks’ Backside Stout. You should certainly consider a snack by this point, so head back over to Animas Brewing. I know, I know, you’re thinking that I’m sending you on a hell of a journey right about now, but trust me: the fresh air and the walk will do you good during a long day of drinking! Check out their nitro Low Flow Stout and pick up an Irie Pasty while you’re there. It’s filled with all your holiday favorites – corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, carrots, onions, and horseradish cheddar. Are you sick of stout yet? Impossible – it is St. Patrick’s Day, after all – but why not switch things up and head down the street to Brew Pub and Kitchen to grab a pint of Patty, a crushable 5.3 percent malty red ale that’s not too sweet and not too bitter. Still craving the stouts? You can opt for a Kelley instead,

a barrel-aged version of the Irish stout they brewed for St. Patty’s last year. The Woodford Reserve barrel the stout was aged in was freshly emptied, so this beer packs a bit of heat from the residual bourbon! Now that you’ve toured the breweries, it’s time to hit the car bombs, and El Moro is the place to do it. You could ask for the traditional shot, but instead of Guinness, Jameson, and Bailey’s, you should absolutely order it their way, swapping in Steamworks’ Backside Stout, Slane Irish Whiskey, and Ryan’s Irish Cream Liqueur. Why support the big guys when you can choose craft instead? If you’re feeling adventurous, they’ll almost certainly be featuring a bomb with Fernet (of course, it’s El Moro!) and I’ve heard rumors there might be a funky one with Bali Hai Tiki Gold Rum from Cutwater Spirits, too. Now it’s definitely time for dinner, so grab a special while you’re at El Moro or head down to the Palace for a traditional Irish corned beef dinner. Drink plenty of water and rest up, especially if it’s only Saturday and you’re planning to hit any of the events on Sunday. Hit up a planned event If make-your-own-pub-crawl isn’t your jam, there are tons of events going on this weekend. For starters, you can go on the special St. Patrick’s Day train, whic may or may not be sold out by the time of this printing. You’ll have to make it to the station by 9:45 a.m. – a tall task if you spent last night car-bombing it up – but you’ll start feeling better once you breathe in the fresh air on your way to Cascade Canyon. Or you can hair of the dog it and order Irish beer and other drink specials on the train (including that tasty red ale from Brew).

day at 12:30 p.m. (Did you know they do that every Sunday? You can bring an instrument and join in on the music, or just sit back and listen. It’s rad!). It’s the perfect opportunity to swing by if you haven’t been there in a while, because they just launched a new food menu and they’re serving up Irish breakfast every weekend starting at 8 a.m. You’ll find all the classics, including corned beef hash, but you should resist the urge to stay safe and try the Durango Nasty instead. A pimento cheese biscuit topped with fried chicken and gravy is both a hangover cure and a sure-fire way to prevent one. Both the Underground and the Lounge will be open all weekend, so there will be lots of space for everyone. In addition to Guinness on tap, they’ll have a Colorado craft option (Breckenridge’s Nitro Irish Stout) along with other Irish favorites like nitro Kilkenney Cream Ale, Harp, or Smithwick’s Red Ale. Instead of getting a shot of Jameson, look for another option in their impressive collection of Irish whiskey, like some craft options from Glendalough, Knappogue Castle, Writer’s Tears, and Green Spot. And, because it’s St. Patty’s, you should really do a shot of Irish cream. Continued on Page 20

Then there’s the Irish Embassy. How could you skip out on the town’s only Irish pub on St. Patrick’s Day? They’ll have live Celtic music starting at 6 p.m. on Saturday, a stand-up comedy show at 8 p.m., and Their Traditional Irish Music Jam Session starts Sun-

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