DGO: Play Dungeons & Dragons ... like an adult by Ballantine Communications

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DGO

PLAY DUNGEONS & DRAGONS ... LIKE AN ADULT In Durango and beyond, role-playing games no longer require pizza and Mountain Dew

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What’s inside

DGO Magazine

STAFF

Volume 5 Number 2 Thursday, January 16, 2020

Editor

Skeletons ... but no frozen pizza

Angelica Leicht aleicht@bcimedia.com 375-4551

Local emergency room doctor Jarrad Maiers hosts Dungeons & Dragons sessions, but they aren’t the Totino’s-fueled jumbles you might have seen in high school. Like many adult players of D&D, he’s turned the hobby into a classy affair.

Staff writer Nick Gonzales ngonzales@bcimedia.com Sales Chandler Sommerfeldt csommerfeldt@bcimedia.com 375-4553 Contributors Erin Brandt Megan Bianco Design/layout Tracie Louck Reader Services

V.P. of Advertising Jamie Opalenik

5 Drink

WildEdge’s new brews 5

6 Eat

Burger nostalgia at Antique Corral 6

7 Events

Winter Pride: Purg and Durango 7

8-9 Weird News 10 Travel

Chief Executive Officer Douglas Bennett

From the blog

Smokey the Bear’s resting place 10

10 Film

Courtesy of Jarrad Maiers

375-4570

Film review

19 Weed

7 Fly that rainbow flag at Winter Pride

5 What’s brewing at WildEdge?

It’s cold outside, the days are short, and there’s snow on the mountain ... so it must be time for Pride. Winter Pride, that is, which will happen in both Durango and at Purg Hells yes.

Because of the ever-changing tap list, every visit to WildEdge in Cortez seems to present a variety of new brews waiting to be tried. And who are we to say no to new beers? 6 Burger nostalgia at Antique Corral DGO is a free biweekly publication distributed by Ballantine Communications Inc., and is available for one copy per person. Taking more than five copies of an edition from a distribution location is illegal and is punishable by law according to Colorado Revised Statute 18-9-314. DGO Magazine is published by Ballantine Communications Inc., P.O. Drawer A, Durango, CO 81302

Got something on your mind? Have a joke or a story idea or just something that the world needs to know? Send everything to editor@dgomag.com

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We’d probably spend a lot more time in antique stores if they all had fully-functional diners inside — like the Antique Corral just south of Cortez on U.S. Highway 491. Especially if they have milkshakes.

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If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally and thinking of suicide, reach out. There is help. durangocares.com

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FROM THE BLOG

»» News from our site on the interwebs you may have missed Globe-al recap I’m at the point where, as a film fanatic, if I miss an awards show, it’s not the end of the world. I ate dinner with my family instead of watching the Golden Globes live. It was a really nice time and I didn’t feel out of the loop or like I had to look up the results when I got home.

Phoenix winning the same category for Drama with “Judy” and “Joker” were a bit underwhelming (and I’m saying this as a fan of both). I would have gone with Scarlett Johansson for “Marriage Story” and Antonio Banderas for “Pain and Glory.” The big wins of the night, Best Drama and Best Musical or Comedy went to “1917” and “Once Upon a Time” again. Eh. Granted, the Globes are flashier than prestigious. And in general, I always preferred the SAGs and BAFTAs of the pre-Oscars shows. So maybe the next couple weeks will bring something unexpected and fresh to the so-far-bland season.

highlights red flags that newbies to the kink scene may miss. (A Dom who insists he “doesn’t negotiate” with subs? Run away.) While still relatively young herself, Dune has been active in the kink scene for many years and identifies as a 24/7 lifestyle sub.

“There’s a difference between self-harm and what SCARRED is doing with her Dom in a consensual, rational, measured enviSome have been wondering if cutting ronment with safe words in place,” said back awards season a few weeks this Dune. “And it’s telling that she didn’t write year was a good or bad move. For me, in to say, ‘Oh my god, I’m using D/s to selfthe sooner it’s over the better. At the harm!’ Rather, she’s worried she might be end of the day, the arts should be apunintentionally or unknowingly engaging preciated on their own, not turned into —— Megan Bianco in some form of self-harm.” a competition between contenders and While the fictional character played by gossip blogs. Posting about my faves’ red BDSM motives Maggie Gyllenhaal stops engaging in acts carpet looks was fun in school, but now I’m a 26-year-old bisexual woman of self-harm after entering into a D/s it just feels old and tired. Though that with a history of self-harm. It hasn’t relationship with the fictional character could just be me feeling my age. been much of an issue for the last few played by James Spader, SCARRED, you But since movies, pop culture and film years, but my sex life has improved a lot don’t want to overinterpret that fictiontrivia are my forte, I might as well give in that time. I realized that I am quite al narrative. Meaning, while the film a brief summary of how things went submissive and masochistic, and I have suggested there was causal relationship down, with what I dug and what I didn’t. found a wonderful Dominant partner between Gyllenhaal’s character entering I never pay attention to the TV categowho I’ve gotten to explore that kink with into a D/s relationship and no longer enries, so we’ll skip all of those. But I will in a positive and healthy way. Last night, gaging in acts of self-harm, that doesn’t say, as someone who watched most of I watched the movie “Secretary,” and mean the same is true for you. FX’s “Fosse/Verdon” last year, Michelle Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character is some“The culture infantilizes us all when Williams deserves her Globe for Best Ac- one who self-harms but stops when she it comes to owning our sexual desires tress in a TV Series. (Even if her speech begins a Dom/sub relationship with her – and that’s especially the case for was a little bluntly awkward.) boss. Obviously this film is flawed and women,” said Dune. “The message is: Film fans are theorizing that “The Irish- not exactly a great guideline for healthy ‘You don’t know what you’re getting man” and “Marriage Story” getting largely BDSM relationships. (The power dyinto’ or ‘You don’t realize the effect snubbed for most of the night might be namic! The lack of consent! That weird this is having.’ But if there’s one thing because of the bias against Netflix and come scene!) However, I did find myself SCARRED is an expert on, it’s herself. streaming in general. Need I remind relating to her character and am now It’s not like she’s in a everyone that last year’s “Roma” was also questioning my motives for pursuing trance when she’s a Netflix produced film and did quite well this kind of sexual relationship. I worry with her Dom – no during awards season? All three films that I may be unintentionally using the matter what the have gotten theatrical releases on top of pain that I lovingly experience from my movies want us going straight to the website. partner as a replacement for the pain I to believe about used to experience from my bad habits. Sam Mendes winning Best Director D/s relationOr am I using BDSM as a form of harm for 1917 was indeed a surprise, espeships – which reduction? Is it rational to even compare cially over Bong Joon-ho for “Parasite,” means she’s these two things? Quentin Tarantino for “Once Upon a consciously Time in Hollywood” or Martin Scorsese choosing this Seeking Careful Advice Regarding Recent for “The Irishman.” I haven’t seen 1917 for herself, Emotional Discovery yet, but anyone winning over Todd Philand it feels lips for “Joker” is a plus in my book. healthy and Laura Dern and Brad Pitt winning the good. Our “I completely get where SCARRED is Supporting Actor and Actress categobodies coming from,” said Lina Dune, the creries was fine, I guess. I thought Dern in ator of Ask a Sub (askasub.com). “You’re don’t “Marriage Story” was a bit redundant, discovering your kinks, and then the but Pitt was a pleasant surprise in “Once culture comes in with a not-entirely-acUpon a Time.” curate film or hot take, and it can taint your self-discovery.” Taron Egerton and Awkwafina winning Best Actor and Actress in a Musical Dune is known as a “fairy submothor Comedy for “Rocketman” and “The er” to her thousands of followers on Farewell” were deserving and refreshInstagram, where she regularly posts ing; while Renee Zellweger and Joaquin about the D/s lifestyle and frequently

usually lie, and I’d be willing to bet that self-harm did not feel that way.” But even if it turns out you’re right – even if, worst-case scenario, joyful consensual kink in the context of an intimate connection with another person is somehow a replacement for solo acts of self-harm that isolated you – it could still be a good thing. Dune suggests that you explore your feelings with a kink-positive therapist, and I want to second that. “From my perspective, it looks like SCARRED may have been manufacturing her own version of exposure therapy, which some somatic-based psychologists have suggested is exactly what negotiated, consent-based kink play can provide,” said Dune. “For example, a person with a fear of being powerless may find it helpful to experiment with powerlessness in small, controlled doses in the context of a structured, negotiated BDSM situation. Looking a fear in the eye and then being able to back away from it at will and end with a cuddle and a check-in with your play partner can make you feel more powerful, not less. So if SCARRED can consciously work through this with a therapist and her Dom, this BDSM relationship has the potential to be very healing, just as long as she maintains her autonomy within it.” Follow Lina Dune on Twitter and Instagram @AskASub. —— Dan Savage

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[drink]

Catching up with WildEdge Brewing’s constantly evolving beer list

»» Snow Dance milk stout a quaffable winter brew When it comes to inventive local beers, it’s no secret that we at DGO love the WildEdge Brewing Collective in Cortez. Because of the ever-changing tap list, every visit seems to present a variety of new brews waiting to be tried. So, while visiting with some Montezuma County friends and colleagues recently, I decided to see what had changed since DGO visited WildEdge just over a year ago. Over the course of the visit, I tried five beers: the Saison, the Island Dream, the Safety Meeting, the Tenebrous, and the Snow Dance. I started with the simply-named Saison because, on a menu full of dark or fruity beers and IPAs, it seemed like it’d have the least overpowering flavor. And that turned out to be a good move. This light Belgian ale was a little bit thin in the body department compared with the platonic ideal of a saison I had in my head, but the Hallertau hops it was dry-hopped with imparted a mildly citric and spicy taste that quickly earned back the ale’s name.

Nick Gonzales/DGO photos

»» From left, Island Dream, Tenebrous, Safety Meeting, and Saison at WildEdge Brewing Collective in Cortez. fruity hop-based flavor that, in retrospect, I maybe shouldn’t have sampled immediately after finishing a beer with a fruity fruit-based flavor. C’est la vie. It was otherwise a pleasant and not too bitter pale ale that was maybe just a bit flat. Then again, I completely drained the previous two tasting flight-sized beers before picking this one up off the table.

I then tried the Island Dream, a kettle sour brewed with guava and passion fruit that my editor loved when she tried it back in late 2018. I enjoy sour and fruity beers, but there is a limit to how tart a beer can be before it becomes unpleasant on my personal palate (a certain pink Durango beer comes to mind). This tropical brew, however, hit a perfect level of sweetness and tanginess that I can really get behind. It might be one of my new favorites in the region.

Things took a turn for the dark with Tenebrous. This stout with maple syrup, oats, and lactose spent 11 months in a port barrel and you can tell. Slightly sweet with strong malty flavors, this is the brewery’s most alcoholic brew, with an 8.8% ABV. It wasn’t as syrupy as I inferred from its description — which is probably a good thing. This beer is what I’d want for breakfast if I

The Safety Meeting was my IPA of the night and it hit the IPA spot. Made with Sabro and Citra hops, it had a

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complicated flavor profile, I decided to take it down a notch for my final beer. The Snow Dance, a semi-sweet milk stout, still felt pretty boozy for what it was, but it proved to be the favorite of the table. It had perhaps the simplest flavor profile of the beers I tried, and my companions appreciated that the subtle sweetness of the lactose kept the beer relatively light ... for a stout. The Snow Dance was very quaffable, especially before we all ventured back out into the cold, black Cortez night. »» The WildEdge tap list as of the first week of January.

was the Prince of Darkness. But alas, I’m not. As much as I enjoyed this beers

Montucky Cold Snacks 30 pk cans

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WildEdge Brewing Collective is located at 111 N. Market Street in Cortez. Call (970) 565-9445 or visit wildedgebrewing.com for more information. —— Nick Gonzales

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[eat]

The Antique Corral’s lunch counter evokes nostalgia for a time we don’t remember » This store near

Cortez has a 1950s diner inside I’ll be the first one to admit that I don’t spend much time antiquing. When it comes to furniture and the like, you’re more likely to find me online or at the nearest IKEA. I’d probably spend a lot more time in antique stores if they all had fully-functional diners inside, though — like the Antique Corral just south of Cortez on U.S. Highway 491. The Antique Corral, as a whole, is a massive warehouse full of all sorts of items from distant to very recent past, including kitchenware, furniture, Western clothing and hats, toys, lawn ornamentation, and just about anything you could possibly want sculpted out of iron. The most interesting part of the store, though, is on your immediate right as you walk in the door: the lunch counter of a 1950s-style diner. The menu is surprisingly extensive for an eatery that just makes up one corner of a much larger store. In addition to burgers, sandwiches, dogs, and Frito pies, there is also a variety of ice cream dishes.

Nick Gonzales/DGO photos

» The Antique Corral’s antiques bleed onto the walls of the dining area to the left of the lunch counter.

The burger was better than average, I figured I’d try to order as iconic of as were the crinkle cut fries — which a mid-century Southwestern burgthere were a lot of. And the shake hit er-joint meal as possible: a green chile the spot. My dining companion — who cheeseburger with fries and a butterscotch shake. (I almost also ordered a green asked for a cherry phoschile cheeseburger — phate, which sounds and I both left feeling I think we were pretty classic, but I’m full and satisfied. struck by a sense less than 100 years old of false nostalgia, But more than anyand have no idea what memories from a thing, I think we were that is, and I was too struck by a sense of false time neither of us embarrassed to ask.) nostalgia, memories experienced. There’s not much that from a time neither of can be said about the us experienced. This, I food itself. It was pretty suppose, is the entire good, but it won’t blow your mind. It did strike me as very aupoint of antiquing, so the corral accomthentic, though. For instance, I watched plished that well. the cook-slash-server place our hamburger buns in a conveyor toaster, If anyone is wondering what to get DGO which is something I don’t see everyfor our birthday, I’d recommend one of the day and seems appropriate for the time Big Boy statues on display in front of the period. (Again, no clue — never went Antique Corral. It would look amazing in to a diner in the real 1950s.) Similarly, our office. all of the glassware for the ice cream seemed period specific. —— Nick Gonzales

» A burger, fries and a milkshake at the lunch counter of the Antique Corral south of Cortez. The burger smelled so good we couldn’t resist taking a bite before snapping a photo.

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[festival]

FILM

PARASITE

JAN

Marvel Years

Jan

28 kitchen dwellers

feb

Mary Shinn/BCI Media file

»» A colorful parade make its way down the slopes at the first Winter Pride celebration in 2017 at Purgatory Resort.

Get out and play at Durango’s third annual Winter Pride

»» LGBTQ+ festival features events on the slopes and downtown It’s cold outside, the days are short, and there’s snow on the mountain ... so it must be time for Pride. Winter Pride, that is.

Up at the mountain, events focus mainly on camaraderie, including ski-lift meet-ups, apres ski, and dinner get-togethers at Paradise Pizzeria.

short stroll down memory lane.

Durango Winter Pride returns for its third year on January 25 and 26, and the 4 Corners Alliance for Diversity has events planned both up at Purgatory Resort and in downtown Durango.

The events downtown feature a bit more spectacle. On January 24 — Friday — Durango-favorite drag queen Scarlett Ultra will host the Fresh Powder Drag Hour from 8:30 to close at Down the Rabbit Hole (where the performer currently has a drag residency). The drag show doubles as a fundraiser for Durango Pride 2020 and the Alliance, with a proceeds going to support the organization, which strives to create a safe, welcoming, and empowering community for LGBTQ+ people in the Four Corners Region. If you need further incentive, Scarlett will be raffling off a 55-inch 4K ‘Ultra’ HD TV and an Echo Dot to one lucky winner.

For more of an all-ages vibe, the Alliance is also hosting Out & About Ice Skating from 1:15 to 3:15 p.m. Jan. 25 at the Chapman Hill Ice Rink. In addition to giving people an extra event that doesn’t require making it all the way out to Purg, the event was planned with visibility in mind.

Jake Riggs, the head of the events committee, said the event celebrates the LGBTQ+ community and “the fact that we’re here — that we live here in this community, that we support it, we sponsor, and we give a lot back. ... Especially because nowadays, it’s a very harsh climate going on politically. I think it’s the best that we can do and just to promote any sort of differences or anything that makes us special.” And January is a perfect time to do that, given the size of the local skiing and snowboarding community and the need for something to help fight off feelings of cabin fever and isolation. It also gives visitors from places like Florida and New Mexico a reason to come up and enjoy the snow, but without being here all season long, Riggs said.

The next night brings the Let it Snow Talent Show and Winter Pride Dance, both at the Animas City Theater. The talent show begins at 8 p.m. First-, second-, and third-place performers at the talent show can win cash. The dance will celebrate the last decade in music, for those of you interested in taking a

All three events promise to be a good time, said Riggs, albeit for an 18-and-over crowd.

“To me, Pride is always about the youth and the joy of showing them, ‘Hey, something might be weird and confusing right now, but it does get better. There are adults and there are people who eventually figure it out and they have very substantial lives,’” Riggs said. “I think it’s important that we have the youth there and that we show them that, ‘Hey, there are a lot of great ways to enjoy yourself without having to party.’” For a complete schedule, more information, and to purchase tickets, visit https:// 4calliancefordiversity.org/events/. —— Nick Gonzales

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»» Federal, state and local officials have

formed a task force to investigate

If you’re into conspiracy theories and of reasons, including that they might the like, it’s a great time to take a gander miss and hit something else (that bullet at the opposite corner of Colorado. has to go somewhere) or that a riled-up, trigger-happy gun owner will successfulFor the past three weeks, people in ly shoot something that isn’t one of the northeastern Colorado and southwestern Nebraska have been reporting fleets drones. of drones showing up at dusk, flying in To find out what the drones could a grid pattern, doing who knows what. possibly be looking at, this writer asked And people are starting to get worried. his editor, who used to drive that corri-

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The New York Times reported Monday that a multi-agency task force made up of federal, state and local officials has been formed to figure out what the heck is going on. The task force will be led by Dave Martin, the sheriff of Morgan County, Colorado. Around 77 federal, state and military agencies, including the Federal Aviation Administration, which released a statement saying it has no idea where the drones are coming from, attended a meeting Monday. Sheriff Carlton Britton of Sedgwick County, Colorado, told the Times the drones have blinking aviation lights five feet apart, fly in an east-west pattern, and sound like “flying lawn mowers.” Unidentified objects flying over a rural area has naturally spawned talk of private citizens trying to shoot the drones down – a bad idea for a number

dor on a regular basis, what’s over there. “It’s literally just ag and cow shit,” she replied. “Like literal cow shit.” Whatever the drones are looking at, it must not be something visible with the naked eye. After all, they’re flying at night and not shining lights on anything, otherwise that would be noted in reports. My best guess: The lizard people long rumored to live in the massive complex of underground tunnels beneath Denver International Airport have found a new way to convert gases produced by decomposing manure into a powerful energy source. And they’re using drones and thermal imaging to map out locations to capture it, so they can fuel their ships and rejoin their civilization inside the hollowed-out moon. —— Nick Gonzales

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[news]

Durango shops respond to national vaping panic »» News stories took

toll on local sales

The last year has been rough for the vaping industry, with more than 50 vaping-related deaths causing a national panic, and Durango has not escaped unscathed. In the wake of reports about hospitalizations and deaths – recently linked by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to black market THC products and vitamin E acetate, a thickening agent used in THC products – local retail vape shops suffered.

“About a fourth of my customer base decided they were going to quit smoking and quit vaping.” “About a fourth of my customer base decided they were going to quit smoking and quit vaping,” Robert Fry, general manager of Vapers Vape Shop, told The Durango Herald. A. Gabriel Gentile, owner of Vape Durango, laid off two employees and estimates local sales declined 35% to 40%. According to the Herald, Vape Durango and 3rd Eye Vapor plan to diversify their inventory to include pipes and more CBD products, in addition to their vaping products. According to the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, 12 residents of Colorado have developed breathing problems after vaping, and they all lived on the Front Range. Half were sickened after using products that contained nicotine. The CDC and FDA recommend people “not use THC-containing e-cigarette, or vaping, products, particularly from informal sources like friends, family, or in-person or online sellers.” In other words, if you’re going to vape your weed, hit up a genuine dispensary. It’s safer and better for your local economy anyway. —— Nick Gonzales

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Durango Diaries Season 5

COMEDIANS

Wednesday, Jan. 22 • 6 p.m. Durango Public Library 1900 East Third Ave.

[travel]

GET OUTTA TOWN:

Pay your respects to wildfire prevention icon Smokey Bear

»» Ursine national forest symbol is buried in his home state of New Mexico

Local voices. Local stories. Welcome to Durango Diaries.

Three local comics will share stories about how they got into the business and what it’s like to be funny.

“Only you can prevent wildfires.” If you’ve been anywhere near a national forest in the past 75 years you should have seen or heard some variation of that slogan. There’s no way to know how many unplanned forest fires it — or the advice associated with it — has prevented, but if you want to pay your respects to the iconic character who said it, you can visit his grave in Capitan, New Mexico. Sorta.

Storytellers include: Wes Stein is the founder of Comedy Showcase Durango and the host of Next Best Comic of the Four Corners. Kate McLachlan is a comedian based out of Durango and is the winner of 2018’s Next Best Comic of the Four Corners. Ryan McCardell hosts Laugh Therapy at the Irish Embassy, which was created in an effort to provide a therapeutic outlet to cope with the stress of life.

Durang

Diaries

Presented By:

In Partnership With:

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tional news and the state’s game warden offered to give him to the Forest Service as part of a wildfire prevention campaign. As a result, Hotfoot became the living embodiment of Smokey and

The U.S. Forest Service invented the Smokey Bear masCourtesy of AllenS/Wikimedia Commons cot in 1944 to help » » The first bear to serve as Smokey Bear is buried at the educate forest-goers Smokey Bear Historical Park in Capitan, New Mexico. about the dangers and prevention of wildfires. The character proved popflew in a small plane to the National ular, even though it was only a public Zoo in Washington D.C. where he lived service announcement — at least for a for 26 years, feasting on peanut butter short period of time. sandwiches, bluefin and trout. People were so enraptured with the bear that In May 1950, the Capitan Gap Fire millions visited him and even more sent raged through New Mexico’s Capitan him letters — over 13,000 per week, Mountains and the Lincoln National forcing the U.S. Postal Service to give Forest after a cook stove overheated him his own zip code (20252). and began casting sparks. The fire burned 17,000 acres and nearly killed Smokey was paired with a female a 24-person firefighting crew that surnamed Goldie Bear in 1962 but they vived by burying themselves beneath failed to produce offspring, so in 1971 the debris of a recent landslide. the zoo had the couple adopt “Little Smokey,” another orphaned bear The more famous near-victim of from the same forest in New Mexico. the blaze was a 5-pound, 3-monthSmokey retired in 1975, passing his old black bear that was initially called mantle as the official “Smokey Bear” to Hotfoot Teddy. The bear had climbed a his son. Then, in 1976, he died. tree to escape the fire but had burned its paws and hind legs in the process. A group of soldiers-turned-firefighters from Fort Bliss, Texas, rescued Hotfoot from the tree and Santa Fe veterinarian Edwin Smith nursed him back to health. (A similar tale of ursine survival occurred during the 416 Fire.) The bear’s tale of survival made na-

Smokey’s remains were flown back to Capitan and interred in a garden at what became the Smokey Bear Historical Park. These days visitors can see the grave and learn about fire ecology, wildland firefighting, and Smokey’s history at the adjacent museum. —— Nick Gonzales

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[film]

A new, if slightly divisive take on the classic Little Women It would be understandable if you groaned when it was announced over a year ago that we were getting a new adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. It is, after all, arguably one of the most read novel by a female writer in American literature and has a boatload of screen versions. Let’s count them. There are three acclaimed films from 1933, 1949 and 1994 starring Katharine Hepburn, June Allyson, and Winona Ryder; a mediocre mini-series from 1978 with Susan Dey; and another mini-series from 2017 featuring Maya Hawke. That’s not even getting into the numerous stage and radio adaptations in the past century, by the way. So what else could another update of “Little Women” bring us in 2020? What spin can actress-turned-filmmaker Greta Gerwig put on the classic tale? It feels redundant to write a synopsis of Alcott’s story, but here’s one for the few who are unfamiliar. In post-Civil War Massachusetts, the March sisters and their mother, Marmee (Laura Dern), get by while the father of the home is a chaplain for the Union Army. The four sisters are Jo (Saoirse Ronan), a writer; Amy (Florence Pugh), an artist; Beth (Eliza Scanlen), a pianist; and Meg (Emma Watson), the oldest and most domestic of the group, who marries quickly into adulthood.

Another thought is that the fresh elements to this “Little Women” are bound to be polarizing. Gerwig chose to direct the story in a non-linear style, which might be a little confusing to those who haven’t seen or read the previous versions.

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The ending will also likely be divisive to fans, as the final scene is completely different than the one we’ve seen portrayed time and again, and it is also very meta. It also takes a while to get into the modern-sounding dialogue delivery by the cast, especially when it comes to Pugh’s portrayal.

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At the end of the day, though, it’s still “Little Women.” If you’ve loved these characters this long, you might appreciate Gerwig taking a more personal interpretation of Alcott’s story. If anything, we get one of the least awkward interpretations of the Amy and Laurie pairing (though Jo and Laurie is just as frustrating as ever).

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It took a while for awards voters to warm up to the classic historical drama this Oscar season, but since the new year hit it looks to be gaining quite a lot of traction, which is good for Gerwig and her actors, and also amusing since Gerwig’s longterm boyfriend Noah Baumbach is another contender this A couple things crossed my mind once season with his own “Marriage Story.” Whatever film wins will still be a worthy I was done viewing Gerwig’s “Women.” start to the start of a new decade in For one, it’s hard to believe Ronan was filmmaking. two years older during filming than —— Megan Bianco Ryder was in Gillian Armstrong’s 1994

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We see, over a decade-long period, the girls grow into women. They struggle with their relationships with each other, as well as the beaus in their lives, like next door neighbor ‘Laurie’ Lawrence (Timothee Chalamat), tutor John Brooke (James Norton), and college professor Friedrich Bhaer (Louis Garrel).

adaptation. The talented young actress has fully graduated from child stardom to A-lister and hasn’t lost any of her zeal for the camera. The second thing is that Garrel, who is cast as Prof. Bhaer, is the first to bring any appeal to the role, and it’s almost a shame Gerwig chose to just use him as a deus-ex-machina rather than an actual character.

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RENAISSANCE 14 | Thursday, January 16, 2020 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

» How to transform your local Dungeons & Dragons

campaign into a respectable gathering By Nick Gonzales

DGO Staff Writer ungeons & Dragons — it has, over the 46 years since it was first published, developed a reputation as the epitome of geekdom. Thanks to four decades of pop culture, the name of the popular role-playing game evokes images of basement-dwelling teens gathering amid spent cans of Mountain Dew and half-empty bags of Doritos.

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But that picture isn’t quite accurate, at least not anymore. It’s 2020, and the majority of D&D players are adults who no longer have to play it like one of the kids from Stranger Things. In fact, many find the game therapeutic and the game has grown a large following around the world — including Durango. Jarrad Maiers is an emergency room doctor at the San Juan Regional Medical Center in Farmington. He has lived in Durango for eight years, but it wasn’t until the last few that he finally found his tribe. “I’m not a skier. I’m not a mountain biker. ... I try to keep in shape, but outdoor sports are just not what brought me into Durango. And there’s a subculture of people here who are just not into it,” he says. “Finding a group of people who will have similar interests in terms of nerdy, geeky fantasy stuff, and are willing to just sit down and play these games with me has been really good for me finding my place here.” The chaos and drama of Maiers’ job forces him to deal with a significant amount of stress and burnout. Playing and running a longterm D&D campaign keeps him sane, he says, and having that creative and social outlet makes him a better physician and husband. At its most basic, Dungeons & Dragons is a tabletop game that can be played with little more than pencils, paper, dice and a handful of handbooks. It is played as a group and all but one of the players controls the actions of a specific character, often across a long string of gaming ses-

I’m not a skier. I’m not a mountain biker. ... I try to keep in shape, but outdoor sports are just not what brought me into Durango. sions. The other player, the Dungeon Master, controls and describes the rest of the world the characters inhabit — a high fantasy setting full of elves, orcs, swords, and sorcery. The game is infinitely customizable, with many players choosing to ditch pre-made adventures and create “homebrew” campaigns featuring not just their own characters but entire worlds spawned from their imagination. This leaves a lot of room both inside

Courtesy of Ginny Di

» Denver-based cosplayer and YouTuber Ginny Di plays as a half-elf warlock named Aisling in one of the Dungeons & Dragons campaigns she plays in. She also dresses up like the character from time to time.

and outside of the game to add one’s own spin and create a social gathering a heck of a lot classier than the pizza-fueled game nights some of us might have held in high school.

An adventurer’s feast Tara Theoharis creates fandom-inspired recipes and parties, celebrating everything from board and role-playing games to TV shows, books, and comics. “I’ve been playing tabletop games since college; I was introduced to

them by my now-husband,” she says. “I loved them so much and wanted to do even more with them. And shortly after college wanted to learn a little bit more about cooking and entertaining, and elevate them from the college dorm parties that we used to have to a little bit of a nicer dinner party that feels a little bit more grown-up — but still keep some of my original passion.” This led her to create a blog, The Geeky Hostess, as a way of holding herself accountable to learning how to cook, bake, and entertain.

When it comes to Dungeons & Dragons, Theoharis says food is vital to any good campaign. “D&D can be a bit of a marathon, depending on how long you’re playing with your friends. If you’re doing a one-off campaign, it can take the full day; if you’re doing a regular campaign, and you’re meeting up weekly or monthly, you might only play for three or four hours at a time,” she says. “But your players will get hungry and they’ll get thirsty in that time.” She suggests making sure you have

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food that will keep them satisfied but not exhausted, and nothing way too filling. You’ll also want to make sure that you have a nice range of drinks, and something that will keep them hydrated. “If they are of age and interested in imbibing, a nice alcoholic drink or two is very helpful,” Theoharis adds. Maiers doesn’t drink, but appreciates alcohol’s usage as a social lubricant ... within reason. “I find that alcohol in small amounts can help people kind of open up a little bit — but you’ve got to be cognizant of how much people start drinking because people start getting drunk,” he says. Food plays an important role in Maiers’ local games. “I grew up doing Totino’s pizza and Little Caesars and Mountain Dew during the game. When I went to get back into it as an adult, I was like, ‘I don’t need the junk food anymore; I actually want to have decent meals.’ And my wife, Bobbi, is actually a really good cook. So we sort of do a thing where we would all make a big dinner together — everything from different pasta dishes to salmon and sweet potatoes,” he says. “That way, when everybody shows up, we actually have something good to eat, and then it all kind of brings the group together — it kind of makes them more relaxed to play the game.” If you really want to hit the food out of the park, make it thematic. Theoharis recommends thinking about the types of food served in movies like “Lord of the Rings” and “The Princess Bride” and go from there.

crazy. There even people who just will put beer into a metal beer mug, and that’s great.” One thing worth noting is that the Dungeon Master controlling the game does not necessarily have to be the same person providing sustenance. In fact, Theoharis points out as a rule of etiquette that all the other players should take care of the food. “They (the Dungeon Master) are doing a lot of work and they’re putting in a lot of prep time for the campaign. So even if you’re just ordering some pizza, I’d say if you can, don’t make the DM put in the money for it because they’re providing quite a bit.” Courtesy of Ginny Di

» In one of her videos, Ginny Di instructs viewers how to make cocktail versions of Potions of Health and Heroism. Some fantasy franchises, such as “Game of Thrones,” publish official cookbooks. On rare occasions, you might find recipes in Dungeons & Dragons accessories — Maiers recalls a Dragonlance tome from 1987, “Leaves from the Inn of the Last Home,” containing instructions for stuff like “Otik’s Spiced Potatoes.” “It’s often really easy to just even start with some meat, bread, and cheeses if you want to something a little more casual and snacky, all the way up to doing roast chickens and stews as some nicer, hearty meals,” Theoharis says. She went all out for one campaign, creating a complete tavern menu from which players could order, featuring items (or stand-ins for items) such as stuffed eggs, foraged salad, roast goose,

stew, sandwiches, and scones — all while Theoharis acted as the tavern “wench.” Something that complicated might be a bit more work than you’re interested in doing, though. For a much simpler way of emulating a fantasy world, consider adding bright colors to foods or serving cocktails as fancy potions — something Denver-based cosplayer and YouTuber Ginny Di has done. For a DIY video on how to make a Potion of Health and a Potion of Heroism, she found inexpensive, easy-tomake cocktails that happened to match up visually with in-game potions. Then she poured those cocktails into potion bottles. “The aesthetic is more about what sells it than what the actual drink is,” she says. “You don’t have to go totally

Setting the scene Smell and taste are not the only senses a host can use to pull players into the world of Dungeons & Dragons. Hearing and sight can also play a part. Creating an immersive soundscape is simple: Set up some speakers and play music or sound effects that reflect what the players should be feeling. Maiers creates playlists with music from video games and other sources. Di uses ambient tracks curated by Spotify user Brian Wilson. Something as simple as playing crickets chirping to signify that it’s nighttime helps players get into the right headspace, she said. Decorating the room you’re playing in can also help, Theoharis said. “Some simple things that you can do to medieval up your space would be to turn off lights and light a bunch of candles — it’ll give a nice feel to the campaign,” she said. “It will also bring you back into the dark ages when there was no electricity. You can go even

Spice up a game with Fireball cupcakes Fireball cinnamon whiskey is a great hit with Dungeons & Dragons players, says Tara Theoharis. After all, fireball is the name of a wizard spell. You can pour it in shots or combine it with mixers. Or ... you can bake it into cupcakes, such as in this recipe of Theoharis’ creation.

» 1½ cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

“They’re potent,” her blog warns. “They’re boozy and they’ve got a spicy cinnamon kick.”

» Cinnamon candies (optional)

FIREBALL CUPCAKES

Ingredients: » 1 box spice cake mix » Ingredients needed for box spice cake mix, minus the water » 1 cup + 1 tablespoon Fireball (or another spicy cinnamon flavored whiskey)

» 3 cups powdered sugar » 1 teaspoon vanilla » Dash salt » Red and yellow food coloring (optional) Directions: Prepare the spice cake mix as is directed on the back of the box, but instead of water, use Fireball. (My cake mix called for 1 cup of water, so I put in 1 cup of Fireball instead.) Fill cupcake tins about 2/3 of the way with the batter, and bake as directed on the back of the box. Remove cupcakes from the oven once a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean. Transfer cupcakes to wire racks.

While the cupcakes are cooling, make the frosting. Mix the butter in a mixer until fully smooth, then slowly add the powdered sugar in, one cup at a time, until it is all mixed. Add a TBS of Fireball, and the vanilla and salt. Mix for about 5 minutes or until the frosting has a beautiful, whipped consistency. Divide the frosting up in 3 bowls. Set aside one. In one bowl, place yellow food coloring, and in the other, red food coloring. (I use AmeriColor gel food coloring.) Mix the frostings with the food coloring until the color you’d like is reached. Place each color side by side in a pastry bag. (It’s OK if they end up getting a bit mixed up, it makes a more realistic fire color!) Pipe onto the cooled cupcakes and top with a cinnamon candy. Enjoy! Source: The Geeky Hostess

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Courtesy of Jarrad Maiers

» Titan’s Rest, a village Jarrad Maiers built for his homebrew Dungeons & Dragons campaign, was a hit within the online community. further and encourage your players not to have phones or computers at the table. Not only will it keep them more in character, it will actually focus them on the game as well. “If you’re going to be traveling through you know the woods in the forest a lot going out and taking some wild flowers and plants and sticking them in vases around the table can add a little bit of greenery to the field.” As for the game itself, there are a number of things you can do to help represent the imaginary environment the player’s characters are occupying. The game can — technically — be played with just pencils, paper, books, and dice, with all of the action occurring in the theater of the mind. But using miniature figurines and model environments can make it easier on the players. Maiers became mildly internet famous, at least within the Dungeons & Dragons community, for building elaborate set pieces for his adventures. His most elaborate was a village called Titan’s Rest, where, in his story, a nation of humans and a nation of

elves meet once every 100 years to renew a peace treaty. The village, depicted using model houses, trees, and LED-based glowing crystals, is built around the remains of a fallen giant — a life-size medical model of a human skeleton Maiers incorporated into the terrain. Titan’s Rest went viral in May 2019, attracting the attention of D&D-playing celebrities such as True Blood and “Magic Mike” star Joe Manganiello, and voice actor and “Critical Role” creator Matthew Mercer. “I try to come up with weird scenarios, different terrain where suddenly we’re fighting over a waterfall or a bridge — over a ravine or something like that — to make it more complicated than that. They have to think more tactically as they come through the whole scenario,” he says. Assuming you don’t have the time, resources, or dedication Maiers has, you can still economically represent a game world in a visually appealing manner. In Di’s homebrew campaign, she uses a dry-erase mat and Dungeon Craft, a low-cost collection of modular,

laminated 2D illustrations that can be laid on a board. Ultimately, you can invest as much, or as little, energy as you want in visually portraying your fantasy world.

Picking your friends One final area you can control is the group of people with whom you play. As adults, you no longer have to play with just the handful of nerds at your school who were publicly into J.R.R. Tolkien and war-gaming. Finding a group that wants to take the game as lightly or as seriously as you do is important, says Di, as is finding players who want to play the game in a similar way. Some players want to invest a lot of time getting into role-playing their characters and imagining how they would interact within the fantasy setting. Others prefer to focus only on combat, kicking in doors, slaying armies of goblins, and looting whatever treasure they can find. After following the relatively serious games portrayed on Critical Role, Di says she was surprised by how casual

her first D&D group played. “When I started my own game, I wanted to have a more role-play heavy, more serious game. And so I picked my players based on that. I picked players that I knew were also interested in a more serious game so that I wouldn’t feel like I was just a strong arming this group into playing the kind of game I wanted to play,” she says. In Durango, local game store Guild House Games is invaluable in helping players find each other, Maiers says. The store in the Main Mall downtown hosts weekly games and provides something of a matchmaking service. “Danny (Perez), who runs the store, is a huge fan of all of the games,” he says. “I’ve really enjoyed seeing (D&D’s) renaissance and trying to be a part of it here. ... I wish I had a regular schedule so I could run a day in there as well.” It’s never been easier to find a gaming group, even in a small town like Durango. So if you’ve ever been curious about dice-based dungeon crawling, now is a perfect time to pick it up.

18 | Thursday, January 16, 2020 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[weed]

We felt smarter than the dude from Limitless after a bowl of Sundae Driver This always happens. There’s always that one strain out of 20 that I review and it makes me feel like I can answer anything – like I’m the dude from “Limitless” before life comes crashing down and I realize I’m actually an idiot. Well, friends, as you may have guessed, the most recent strain to make me feel like a nerdy superhero is Sundae Driver, a brand spankin’ new one from Prohibition Herb. I did not expect to feel smart from Sundae Driver – I actually expected to eat a lot and then pass out – but it turns out that Sundae, my new bae, is a trickster, and she had a lot more than that up her sleeve.

I lit up a bowl alone (I didn’t offer to share this beaut because I’m selfish like that; three’s a crowd or something) and smoked it on a random Sunday night. I’d been running errands and doing dumb chore stuff all day, and I figured a bowl of Sundae Driver would be a great way to get myself out of productivity mode. I was right, sort of. First hit I noticed a sweet, slightly herbal taste. Second hit, I noticed the effects. My brain didn’t get foggy; it got WILD, y’all. I was thinking up a storm, taking notes left and right while trying to maneuver my fingers over the keyboard. My head wanted to go at 1,000

Where to find Sundae Driver: Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio, www.prohibitionherb.com mph. My body? Not so much. I’ll spare you the pain of the entire iPhone note diatribe I wrote but I will you this: I felt extremely smart after smoking Sundae Driver, like I could answer all of the questions I’ve ever had, and you’ve ever had, and they’ve ever had. I kept feeling like I had these crazy epiphanies that I now know, based on my notes, were not epiphanies but just normal ass thoughts that FELT really smart instead.

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Oh, and I also convinced myself I was psychic. I know this because I wrote in my notes, and I quote, “It’s like I’m psychic cause I know what’s going to happen.” Do I know what that means? Hell no. All I know is that it was completely due to the Sundae Driver I smoked. So if you want a strain that will make you feel like you’ve hacked your brain and are now the smartest person alive, you should get your hands on this beauty. I felt awake, alive, and like my brain was more than just static for once. And that, my friends, is a feat all in itself. Add in the fact that this strain is one of the prettiest I’ve seen and you’ve got yourself a real weed winner. Am I surprised that Prohibition pulled it off? Nah. I am surprised they had any Sundae Driver left by the time I got there, though. This stuff is freaking killer.

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Little did I know, though, that Sundae had way more in store than her fine ass looks. She also had a wild ass personality, one that took me on a brain ride to Nerdsville, party of one. That may be because this strain, while gorgeous, is also a perfect split between an indica and a sativa, making her ideal for someone who wants the best of both worlds. And I do. I really do.

Details

East Owen Road

Before we get into that, though, let’s talk about my new weed girlfriend a little more. She’s a pretty one; so pretty, in fact, that I was honestly blown away by the beautiful threads of colors I saw when I dumped the nugs out on my table. There were flecks of deep purple and bright orange woven through the thicc nugs, and it was all I could do to take a couple photos before greedily shoving a couple in a pipe. I wanted to get my hands on this one so bad, all based on looks alone.

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—— DGO Pufnstuf

�� Thursday, January 16, 2020 | 19

[weed]

Ghost Jack: a strain for insomniacs and people who love the munchies

My notes from my little foray with Ghost Jack, the strain we are reviewing this week for The Green House in Durango, are primarily just my deep, important thoughts on peanut butter cookie dough. (Read: it sucks.) How did I end up writing on peanut cookie dough? Well, it was simple. I picked up a gram of Ghost Jack from The Green House and (of course) lit it up when I got home, not really knowing what to expect. I did no research, had no background info, and went into this little experiment blind. Here’s what I found out: this is, without even freaking checking, a strain that leans heavily toward the indica properties. How do I know? Well, because I became a useless puddle of a human who spent an inordinate amount of time shoveling peanut butter cookie dough into my gullet before passing out in my shame after I smoked it. Only an indica would lead me down such a self-destructive, fantastic path full of cookie dough.

Details

Where to find Ghost Jack: The Green House, 730 S. Camino del Rio, thegreenhousecolorado.com/ Once I’d returned to said bed, I sat there and shoveled cookie dough into my mouth like a machine. I was starving, despite having eaten only a short time before.

I was starving enough, in fact, to eat that gross ass peanut butter cookie dough, which I purchased without ever realizing it was peanut butter flavored. Why on earth anyone would make an So it really only took one bowl to deedible cookie dough in that flavor is betermine that Ghost Jack has some indica yond me, but alas, they did. So, if you’re genes, and some strong ones at that. I buying stoner snacks, buyer beware. packed a relatively normal-sized bowl This type of cookie dough is a thing now. of bright orange haired bud and smoked Anyway, it obviously wasn’t that bad, it, but that one small bowl of minty or the weed was just that good, cause flavored weed did me in hard. I fell down I sat there eating it like a total glutton the rabbit hole and hit the ground, peabefore shoveling a bunch of chips in nut butter cookie dough in hand. my mouth and passing out. (Side note: Well, sort of in hand. Almost immewhy do my hands always work when I’m diately after I smoked the bowl I was eating while stoned but NOT while I’m starving, so I dragged my very stoned trying to type while stoned. It makes ass to the kitchen to dig up an emerno sense.) I didn’t stir at all — not that I gency supply of cookie dough I’d been saving for just this occasion. Only prob- remember, anyway, which is a feat for someone with insomnia. lem was that I was so stoned off that one bowl that I couldn’t see the freaking So, if you’re looking to like, bulk up container right in front of my face. I and take in a bunch of calories for like, stood in front of the fridge and stared, gains or something, this Ghost Jack biz convinced that some errant robber will hook you right up. I probably ingesthad broken in while high and stolen my ed 5,000 calories because of it, and it snacks. wasn’t even good cookie dough! Imagine That was obviously not the case, if it had been decent. though — I was just too high to see it in It’ll also knock that insomnia right front of me. into another dimension, so if sleeping And luckily, I realized that after severor eating are your end goal, this is the al minutes of staring in horror at shelves strain for you. Just make sure leave the filled with vegetables and not junk food. snacks somewhere you can find them It was like I snapped to being lucid for before you smoke it. If you do that, you a second — just long enough to find my cookie dough and then return to my bed should be set. like the sloth that I am.

—— DGO Pufnstuf

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�� Thursday, January 16, 2020 | 21

[love and sex]

Gird your loins; we’re feeling feisty I love the handful of earth you are. Because of its meadows, vast as a planet, I have no other star. You are my replica of the multiplying universe. Your wide eyes are the only light I know from extinguished constellations; your skin throbs like the streak of a meteor through rain. Your hips were that much of the moon for me; your deep mouth and its delights, that much sun; your heart, fiery with its long red rays, was that much ardent light, like honey in the shade. So I pass across your burning form, kissing you---compact and planetary, my dove, my globe. Pablo Neruda, XVI from 100 Love Sonnets

In this month of renewal, I am devastated by the constant advertising that tears bodies down. The outward and public shaming of bodies is a billion dollar industry. Yes, I want folks to love their bodies the way they are and I will not pass judgment on those of us who make adjustments to our bodies. I will stand in judgment of the companies and media that tell us we are not enough – not beautiful enough; not strong enough; not fit enough; not sexy enough; not performing well enough; not big, small, tall, short, curved, skinny, shaped enough.

Is this true for everyone? Nope. Does the media, sex toy companies, condom companies, or pharmaceutical companies that create Viagra and its knockoffs talk about this? Nope. They use myths to shame penis owners into believing that they are not big enough or can’t last long enough to please their lovers.

The diversity of bodies is what is beautiful in the world and yet, there is little celebration of this diversity. What is celebrated has to claw, fight, scream loud enough to be heard. I want a world where bodies are celebrated with the reverence and adoration that Pablo Neruda had for their lover.

*I’m not opposed to Viagra. I’m opposed to the idea that a body without an erect penis is a non-sexual body. Love your labia

You may be wondering what the hell this has to do with positive sex ed. How bodies look on the outside is harshly judged and the discourse is openly

No Barriers

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before ejaculating could be attached to a person who gets their lovers to multiple orgasms, multiple times. A large penis on Viagra* may last longer and actually hurt, chafe, bruise, or tear a partner without ever creating an orgasm.

Erik WEIHENMAYER blind adventurer & motivational speaker

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shared and debated publicly, yes? In keeping with the idea that sex and all things related should be talked about behind closed doors, shamed, or kept secret – imagine the stigma about body parts related to sex! Gird your loins, I’m feeling feisty. Dicks come in all sizes Bigger is better. Such a tired myth. Bigger is not better. Penis size is not the only measure of sexual prowess and trust me when I tell you that listening to your lovers needs and desires is going to get you a lot further than a big dick. The myth of penis size is directly related to the cultural norm that penetrative sex is the best/only type of sex. There are so many other ways to engage in sex beyond genitals touching. Can we recognize the ridiculous loop we have placed penis owners in? Penises must remain erect for as long as possible in order to pleasure a partner because we are not teaching penis owners to touch or engage in other erogenous areas. Longer erections are “needed” because penetrative sex takes longer (if it ever does) to generate an orgasm. A small penis that is only erect for one minute

I know I said I wasn’t going to pass judgment on folks who make adjustments to their bodies. I know. And I am so sad about the rise of labiaplasty. This is a surgical procedure to cosmetically alter the appearance of the labia so that they are symmetrical or made to be shorter. It is unnecessary. It is perpetuated by false images of “perfect” labia often altered and airbrushed in magazines and movies. Again, I am condemning the machine that churns out lies about bodies, not the people who make choices to change their bodies. For some physically altering their labia helps them embrace their body in a more positive way. I don’t want to step on that and I’d rather encourage learning and celebration to drown out the lies. Yes, there can be labia that interfere with physical activities and a labiaplasty could reduce any discomfort or pain caused by the longer labia. Who is allowed to be sexy Beyond the genitals is the more insidious messaging of who is allowed to be seen as sexy and who isn’t. Skinny, big breasted, long hair, curvy, tall, perfect skin, and white. Strong, tall, ripped, perfect skin, perfect teeth, and white. My biggest complaint these days is stock photos. I rely on stock photos for much of my social media postings and I cannot find non-skinny, non-muscled, non-white people in stock photography. Continued on Page 23

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Horoscope ARIES (March 21 to April 19)

From Page 22

Don’t get me started about actual representation. Wait, do get me started! Disabled bodies. Fat bodies. Old bodies. Black bodies. Brown bodies. Hairy bodies. Bodies with acne. Bodies with saggy breasts. Bodies with crooked fucking teeth! These people have sex. These people scream out their orgasms. These people desire pleasure and give pleasure.

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20) Research will go very well for you because you are prepared to work alone or behind the scenes and dig for what you want to know. Keep looking! BORN THIS WEEK You are perceptive, intelligent and creative. You passionately embrace your goals. Regardless of how you feel, you project a positive attitude. Finally, this year your hard work will start to pay off! Simplify your life and focus on how to build solid foundations. Work with purpose. Physical exercise will be important, which is why you should explore enjoyable physical activities. (c) 2019 King Features Syndicate, Inc.

Bizarro

few weeks. You also will have discussions Make a to-do list to tackle some home repairs in the next two weeks because it and negotiations about finances. For the next two weeks, conversations will be easy for you to do this. The secret with friends, clubs and groups will be LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22) is you’re ready for it. important to you. This is also a good time You will have a chance to clarify certo think about your goals in life. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21) tain issues to someone in the next two TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) weeks. You also will seek out people who You will love to meet new people and see new places in the next few weeks. This is You’re now entering a small window of are intellectually stimulating! not the time to settle down and relax. Au time for the next few weeks where you VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22) contraire! Start hustling! will think about where you want to go. Can you undertake new studies that will You will be more hands-on with whatevCAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19) er kind of work you do at your job. It’s a help your career? Your attention is starting to turn to good time to sit down with others and GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) whatever it is you value in life in the next discuss problems. few weeks. You also might be more conThe next two weeks are a great time to LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22) cerned with business affairs than usual. study and acquire further knowledge. You also might want to get out and The next two weeks will be playful and AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18) travel. fun! You will want to use your mind for With Mercury in your sign for the next reading, writing and playing games, as CANCER (June 21 to July 22) few weeks, you will put a great deal of well as talking to young people. yourself into whatever you have to say. Many of you will look inward and reflect on deep psychological truths in the next SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) You also might get out and travel.

Physical perfection is a myth. When we exclude bodies from being seen as sexy, we harm people. Homework It’s been awhile since I have assigned homework in the column and this seemed like the topic to bring it back. If you find yourself judging your lovers by how their body parts look, I want you to practice calling yourself on that behavior. I want you to take time to notice non-physical aspects of your lovers that you like, are attracted to, and then begin to change your behavior. The next time you compliment someone, make it about anything other than their appearance. Compliment them about their attitude, their behavior, a skill they have, etc.

kind words, and consensual touching. Shameless plug: Do you need a place to celebrate bodies? Do you want to learn more about sexual anatomy, behaviors, and toys? I offer workshops on these topics and more! Go to https://squareup.com/ store/birds-and-bees-llc/ to learn about upcoming workshops and webinars and to purchase a ticket. Erin Brandt (she/her/hers) has been a sexologist for 15 years. When she’s not spreading sexual knowledge, Erin can be found learning from her

Are you a photographer? Take beautiful, sexy pictures of real people and add it to a stock photo website of your choosing. (I use Pixabay. *wink wink)

child, hiking with her partner, cuddling with

Finally, channel Pablo Neruda and worship your lovers bodies with prose, song,

and ocean breeze. Want more? Visit www.

her pitbull, knitting with her cat, dancing with friends, and searching for the nearest hammock positivesexed.com

�� Thursday, January 16, 2020 | 23

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