[pride]
Labels and words are a tool, but also a battle Homework
Words are incredibly powerful. So powerful they can hurt us more decisively than a sword and bring us together with a simple phrase —
First, add your personal pronouns where you can and help to create a safe community. Second, work to remove gendered language from your vocabulary.
Sí, se puede Black Lives Matter Me Too
This second action is hard. You will make mistakes, say the wrong thing, and struggle to not gender every object and being in the world. I’m asking you to try. When you are talking about someone, refer to them by they/them or their name. Use parents instead of mom or dad. Try inserting lover instead of husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. When you are reading a book take a page or two to be aware of all the gendered language being used. Rewrite it to be gender-neutral.
Hell, no we won’t go Rise up! Labels are a tool used to take words and build a community. For people who face oppression, violence, and discrimination, being able to identify who is in your community creates safe spaces — refuges from the daily crap someone who is outside the “norm” (read: hetero, white, cis-gendered) has to battle. If you are not a safe space for transgender persons because you are still learning what it means to be an ally, do not read further. I’m specifically speaking to TERFs. TERF (also written terf) is an acronym for trans-exclusionary radical feminist. The term was coined in 2008. It was originally applied to a minority of feminists espousing sentiments that other feminists consider transphobic, such as the rejection of the assertion that trans women are women, the exclusion of trans women from women’s spaces, and opposition to transgender rights legislation. The meaning has since expanded to refer more broadly to people with trans-exclusive views who may have no involvement with radical feminism. (Thank you, Wikipedia!) In honor of Pride Month, I am going to teach you a simple way you can be an ally to transgender folks.
Inclusion is not an act of siloing or creating smaller communities, it is an act of allyship and growing communities. We default to the male.
always existed.
He.
Using language to create safe spaces for groups of people who are more likely to be discriminated against or be subjected to violence is the next step beyond clothing and hairstyle choices. When we use language to be inclusive, we are wielding that mighty pen, amplifying the silenced voice, and building a community.
Him. His. Removing my emotional reaction to this I will calmly explain that this default is an embedded form of sexism. It does not present as overtly sexist. It’s not violent or mean. It is subtle dominance. It is a compounding message of control and a reminder that male is the accepted superior.
The premise of gender-neutral language is to simply remove gender Pronouns from writing and speaking — to critically I pulled out my handy-dandy dictiolook at how we speak and write about nary because I love it and definitions are life without assigning gender to every nuggets of wisdom in a chaotic world. object. I practice this with my child and Pronouns [pro·noun] are any of a small my life partner. I practice this in my writing, workshops, and presentations. set of words in a language that are used The majority of the time there is no as substitutes for nouns or noun phrasneed to gender our language. We don’t es and whose referents are named or go around talking about the eye color of understood in the context. every person we know and meet — “My I am focusing on personal pronouns, blue-eyed child likes biking.” So why do and more specifically, the 3rd person we need to identify gender? pronouns: he, she, him, her. Gender is emphasized because it is a Before we go any further we have clear way to divide people into groups. to take a side journey to learn about Arguably, this doesn’t hold up no matter gender. the decade because there are people Gender Neutral always challenging the norms and expectations of a society from womxn wearing The vast majority of language and writing uses male pronouns (he, him, his) pants in the 1800s to men with long hair in the 1960s. The counter culture has as the default.
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Three/Little/Words We have come to the simple act you can take as an ally to transgender folks. Wherever your name is out in the world... Signature on your emails Name tag at work Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc etc etc Publications
As a white, able-bodied, cisgender woman I hold a lot of privilege. It is my responsibility to educate myself and my child about racism, accessibility, queer issues, and more. It is my responsibility to work in my community to help build safe spaces for Black and Indigenous peoples, for Queer folks, and disabled bodies. It is my responsibility to amplify Black, Queer, Disabled voices because my privilege affords me the space and freedom to live daily without fear and oppression. I will not do these things perfectly. I will likely not even do them well but I will do them. I ask that you join me in supporting the Movement for Black Lives - m4bl.org. “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” Arundhati Roy
Presentations ...add your pronouns behind your name e.g. Erin, she/her/hers or Sam, they/them/theirs or Bob, he/him/his This identifies you as someone who supports, encourages, and holds safe non-binary and transgendered persons. I always want you to do more in your allyship and this is an important step you can take right now. Learn more steps you can take to be an ally at guidetoallyship.com
Erin Brandt (she/her/hers) has been a sexologist for 15 years. When she’s not spreading sexual knowledge, Erin can be found learning from her child, hiking with her partner, cuddling with her pitbull, knitting with her cat, dancing with friends, and searching for the nearest hammock and ocean breeze. Want more? Visit www.positivesexed.com
Thursday, June 18, 2020 | 9
