Durango Telegraph - March 21, 2019

We come from a land down under

elegraph the durango

FREE March 21, 2019

Vol. XVIII, No. 12 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

Meet the candidates Council hopefuls sound off on favorite jams & topics p9

L I N E

O N

The Yocal

How to Marie Kondo like a local p11

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Blast from the past FLC Theatre time travels to the ’50s for ‘My Favorite Year’ p16

BORN AND RAISED,

READY TO LEAD

MARCOS

WISNER

CITY COUNCIL

VOTE APRIL 2ND Paid for by Marcos Wisner for City Council.

www.ElectMarcos.com

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lineup

9

4 La Vida Local

The final four Council candidates weigh in

4 Thumbin’ It

by Tracy Chamberlin

5 Word on the Street 6 ReTooned

11-14

6-8 Soapbox

The Yocal

How to Marie Kondo like a local and other spring cleaning tips

11-14 The Yocal 15 Day in the Life

15

Ear to the ground: “I think it might be Xanax: 30.”

– Local officer worker after the end of an especially trying day

The moose is loose

thepole

RegularOccurrences

Things got a little wild at a Breckenridge home last week when an unexpected guest dropped by. According to police reports, a call came in late Fri., March 15, about a suspected burglary. A guest of a home, who was sleeping in the basement, reported being awakened by the breaking of glass and a loud crash.

Police arrived and found they would definitely need back up. And a tranquilizer gun or two. The burglar in question was a cow moose that had been wandering around outside before accidentally stumbling into a window well.

“Once responding officers saw the moose, they called us in to take the lead,” Colorado Parks and Wildlife District Manager Elissa Slezak said. “When we arrived, the moose was actually pretty calm and didn’t appear to be injured, so we immediately made a plan to remove her.”

16 On Stage

Going for the gold Desert golden hour allows the winterweary time to rejoice, refuel

17 Top Shelf

photos by Stephen Eginoire

18-20 On the Town

16

21 Free Will Astrology

Play time

22 Classifieds

FLC pays homage to ’50s with ‘My Favorite Year’

by Zach Hively

22 Haiku Movie Review 23 Ask Rachel

17

On the cover: The La Sal Mountains add new meaning to purple mountain majesty last weekend in Moab./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

Full-court press Zion the lion, breaking down the brackets – and a few good shows

by Chris Aaland

boilerplate

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

CPW officers tranquilized the moose, and with the help of police and firefighters, moved her through a tight stairwell and outside to an awaiting trailer. The moose was then relocated to prime moose habitat in Grand County, where she will hopefully live a peaceful, nondomestic life.

“Aside from the broken window, a few minor cuts and the initial shock to the homeowners, this situation went about as well as it could have,” Slezak said.

And as a public service announcement, CPW would like to remind homeowners to help our furry friends by covering below-ground windows and window wells with wildlife-proof grates. Ruminants make horrible roommates. For more info. on living with wildlife, visit cpw.state.co.us.

Off limits STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Stephen Eginoire, Jesse Anderson, Zach Hively, Jennaye Derge, Missy Votel, Tracy Chamberlin and Shan Wells

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We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwa, booze and flattery.

PHONE: 970.259.0133

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And speaking of ungulates, CPW also reminds folks that local wildlife areas and BLM lands remain closed to two-leggeds through April 15.

“The weather is getting nicer but big-game animals still have a long way to go to make it through the winter,” Steve McClung, district wildlife manager in Durango, said. “Little food is available and they’re still living on fat stores from last year. But they’re starting to run on empty.”

Violation of the closures could result in a citation and fine. And possibly bad karma. The closures in effect through April 15 include: • Bodo State Wildlife Area (Smelter Mountain is open for foot access from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.; sorry no dogs); • Perins Peak State Wildlife Area • Grandview trails, including Big Canyon, Sale Barn, South Rim and portions of Sidewinder and Cowboy accessed from Carbon Junction or Crites; • Upper loops on Animas Mountain; • Upper trails in Twin Buttes.

March 21, 2019 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal Airing my laundry I have decided that the mark of adulthood is not a steady job or a retirement plan. Nor is it buying my own groceries and forgetting my family’s birthdays all by myself. No, I will finally be an adult when I no longer have to go to the laundromat.

I’ve been an adult in the past, and let me tell you, I can hardly wait to be an adult again. Those stages when I cohabitated with both a washer and a dryer were among the most sanitary years of my life. I didn’t have to stretch the same pair of boxer briefs for days at a time unless I chose to. I didn’t have to hoard quarters like I was one of the Mario Bros. questing for Princess Peach.

And if I wanted to start a load, go for a hike and forget all about the clothes in the washer until I started another load the next week, well, that was my prerogative.

Having access to in-house laundry facilities is, I believe, a fundamental human right. If you made me choose between W/D hookups and fiber internet service, I would choose both. No human being should have to load up a basket with dirty laundry – which, by definition, you are not supposed to air in public – and take it to a facility where other people take their own dirty laundry, which is dirtier than yours because it’s not your dirt.

As if stuffing a washing machine without any idea who or what stuffed this machine before you isn’t disconcerting enough, other people use different products than you do, with different smells.

And the only thing worse than other people not using bleach to kill all the mystery gunk in their socks is the people who DO use bleach, because it splotches your favorite concert tee that you already resist washing so the holes don’t get any bigger.

Even more dreadful than using the laundromat is using the laundromat without a vehicle. Oh, I’ve been there, back when I thought I was an adult because, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t take my laundry back to my mom’s house while she cooked me dinner.

Every month, I loaded up a bag of clothes like a disgruntled Santa

and trekked downhill to the bus stop, then had to haul the same bag back uphill, until I just started burning my clothes after wearing them.

At another stage in life, I was half an adult. I had a washing machine, but no dryer, which would have been handy because I lived in such a humid climate that my clothes molded on the dryer rack before they finished drying. So I dried clothes by turning on the oven and creating a broiler tunnel with bedsheets, and offered thanks to the gods for the simple words “utilities included.”

For two years now, I have been forced back into the adolescence of not washing my own clothes at home. Sometimes, I am spared the germophobic trauma of the laundromat by a dear friend allowing me the use of her home facilities, or opting to take a road trip to my mom’s house instead of just buying new Fruit of the Looms. I’m constantly re-evaluating my life choices to determine how I can make friends with laundry rooms who live even closer to me.

Of course, using a laundromat comes with perks. This I cannot deny. I have had the opportunity to acquire several washcloths and even a pair of tighty whities that jumped my laundry train somewhere along the tracks. I can take my laptop with me to pretend I will get work done in the 22 minutes of the spin cycle, or in the extra 30 minutes of drying because it turns out the first dryer was busted. I get to meet people whether I want to or not, because they want to meet me, and I refuse to leave the premises lest I abandon my wardrobe to the mercy of bandits.

And anymore, when I leave the laundromat with a basket of unfolded clothes because I really don’t want them touching whoknows-what-happens on those laundromat tables, I come to a place of quiet gratitude. I am fortunate to live in a community with laundry facilities. I am fortunate to have the physical capacity to get my clothes there, and the resources to wash them. Heck, I am fortunate to have clothes at all. Without them, I’d have precious few places to stash every quarter I find.

– Zach Hively

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It The Justice Department awarding more than $400,000 to the Southern Ute Tribe to support Native American crime victims by expanding victim services and trauma support Durango City Council approving changes in zoning that will pave the way for supportive housing for low-income residents and those with disabilities Tuesday’s landmark court decision that federal oil and gas leasing decisions must be analyzed for environmental impacts of drilling as well as the effects of burning fossil fuels, an inevitability of extraction

4 n March 21, 2019

A growing county-wide crisis in roads, with not only city streets falling into disrepair but the county reporting a “dire situation” with its roads and bridges thanks to a 50 percent decline in property tax revenues Still no answers in the investigation into the 416 Fire, with Forest Service officials saying the investigation is taking “longer than expected” The Trump Administration prioritizing oil and gas development over habitat and rolling back bipartisan protections for the sage grouse, putting the bird on a fast track to the endangered list

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Make it a Blockbuster Goodnight As soon as the Blockbuster in Perth, Australia, closes next month, the Blockbuster in Bend, Ore., will become … THE LAST BLOCKBUSTER ON EARTH. Sandi Harding, a manager for 15 years, says the store’s computer reboots with a floppy disk, their dotmatrix printer broke so new membership cards are handwritten (and then laminated), and the only reason they’re still open is thanks to “pure stubbornness.” But the store might live on forever because it’s becoming a tourist attraction, and shirts that say, “The Last Blockbuster on the Planet” sell for $20.

WordontheStreet

Q

With March Madness in full swing, the Telegraph asked, “What are you mad for?”

Bruce Stoddard

“The first day of spring, in a good way.”

Charlie Wright

“Reading books.”

Torree McKinney

“My boyfriend.”

Justin Smith

“Running or table top games.”

Ken Tucker

“Snow.”

Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is! A member-owned food co-op where everyone can shop.

Specializing in Local, Organic Produce & Groceries Full Service Made-to-Order Deli 575 E. 8th Ave • The corner of 8th & College • durangonaturalfoods.coop

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March 21, 2019 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

More to lose by not voting for 1A To the editor, April’s election will bring change to City Council and hopefully new sales tax revenue, the benefits of which are multiple for our community.

The half-cent sales tax increase ($.50 on a $100 purchase) – shared in approximate thirds by city residents, county residents and visitors – will increase sales tax to 8.4 percent, in range of other similar mountain and regional towns.

If passed, it will provide much-needed revenue to fund street, sidewalk, alley, curb, gutter and ADA improvements. Currently, 37 percent of our streets are in need of immediate repair. Every year we defer this work, repairs could cost as much as $2-$4 million more per year.

If passed, 1A will raise approximately $2.1 million in its first year and between $4 - $5 million in the subsequent nine years. It will provide revenue to help shore up the General Fund. It will afford City Council some breathing room in the short-term to identify longer-term strategies to fund facility maintenance and construction needs outlined in the city’s five-year capital improvement project plan.

Passing 1A will preserve the 2015 ½-cent sales tax dedicated to Parks & Recreation, Natural Lands and Multimodal funding and avoid future attempts to divert these 70 percent voter-approved funds to parks maintenance (currently funded through the General Fund) – an act that could jeopardize millions in grant funding, not to mention the public trust.

Passing 1A will maintain the city’s investment in new park and recreational resources including amenities at Lake Nighthorse, sidewalks near Needham Elementary, connecting the SMART 160 Trail, development of Durango Mesa Park and the Camino del Rio underpass – all projects that support healthy lifestyles, protect environ-

mental resources and foster local economic vitality.

A sales rather than a property tax (which unfairly burdens property owners), Ballot Question 1A is narrower in scope (strictly streets and sidewalks) and duration (10

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6 n March 21, 2019

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years) than the November 2018 ballot measure. Question 1A responds to citizen concerns that the 2018 measure was too broad, complicated and inequitable. This citizen feedback received in over 50 meetings includes the 4

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recommendation to establish a citizen advisory board to oversee the allocation of funds.

In 2019, the City budget is $92 million and supports almost two dozen departments, offering more than any other city with a comparable population, staff and budget. $40 million of that is dedicated to the General Fund, which pays for everything that enterprise funds do not. Enterprise funds finance new construction and stabilize the operating budgets of critical services like water, sewer, solid waste (trash and recycling), transportation and the airport.

Council can increase fees to bond projects and balance budgets, as was done from 2013-16 when we instituted higher fees to pay for expansion of the sewer treatment plant. Yet, only a vote of the citizenry can increase General Fund revenue.

With the 2009 recession, the City implemented austerity measures cutting positions and has only slowly added staff back. Of the city’s 350 employees, 230 are supported by the General Fund. That number, 220 in 2009, only increased by 10 positions, or 5 percent, in nine years.

From 2017-19, Community Support Services funding for nonprofit organizations was cut from $1.3 million to $750,000. Funding for 21 of Durango’s nonprofits that provide critical human services to residents was cut from $220,000 to $140,000 and will surely result in a decrease in community services. Another $100,000 in funding for economic development, accessibility for people with disabilities, the arts, sustainability and public education was also cut.

The library is not open seven days a week nor has it ever been fully staffed. The City employs two code enforcement officers to respond to all the snow-, bear- and trash-related calls. They do their best and it’s not enough.

Due to a decrease in sales tax revenues from the 416 Fire, online sales, the decline of the oil and gas industry, and the increased cost of labor, materials and constructions costs, revenues have not been keeping up with the cost of infrastructure upkeep. See a1durango.com and the

city’s website durangogov.org “Hot Topics” for more information.

To maintain our infrastructure and preserve our quality of life, please join me in voting yes on 1A. – Christina Rinderle, Durango (Rinderle served as a Durango City councilor from 2009-17 and as mayor in 2011/12 and 2016/17. She is the chair of Citizens for A#1 Durango.)

It’s your electric co-op – own it To the editor, If you want to find out which candidates for the LPEA Board care about sustainable energy use, it makes sense to ask local environmental organizations such as San Juan Citizens Alliance, right? Jack Turner and Jeff Mannix are reliably green. They understand that clean, renewable energy is also cheaper, creates jobs and can keep millions in our local economy – all good stuff. Sadly, their opponents “talk green” only at election season. Your clarity about each candidate’s real intentions is vital.

It’s important to vote! Don’t toss away your ballot!

Here’s why: We’re used to paying our bills to corporations that lie beyond our community. Corporations are designed for profit, not democracy. We think of our monthly bill to LPEA as just another bill, like those paid to corporations that draw wealth out of Southwest Colorado.

But think about this: LPEA is a cooperative, owned commonly by us member/owners. It cannot generate or extract profit. Instead, it’s designed to meet rural members’ energy needs, as cheaply, reliably and safely as it can.

Most significantly, LPEA is by design democratic. We own it, and we control it.

Control offers choice – and also equals responsibility.

We member/owners share an obligation to make good choices about how we access electricity. We shouldn’t mindlessly bumble along a path, simply because it is already under our feet, or because it saves us the trouble of having to think carefully about options. Make sense? I

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owned a ‘65 Barracuda, in bad shape and a gas hog – my sweet car. But the time came when I had to let go and get one more efficient to commute in.

We’re the first generations on Earth to ever confront an existential threat like climate change. The magnitude and staggering significance of climate destruction is so overwhelming that some of us deny its reality. Others mouth the words but are frozen in old habits. Don’t blame or be judgmental – it’s not useful. Be kind. Meanwhile, let’s shake off our shock and get busy.

The first and best step is to locally change the ways we damage our climate. Our current provider, Tri-State, burns around 350,000 tons of coal to generate our electricity. At around ¾ carbon content, that coal emits nearly half a million tons of carbon dioxide. This is low-hanging fruit that we have control over.

And now, economics are on our side: installing renewables ground-up is cheaper than simply operating existing coal plants, according to Pacificorp, the largest operator of coal plants in the Western U.S. That’s particularly significant, since Tri-State (in a restrictive contract until 2050) generates almost 60 percent of its electricity from coal, twice the U.S. average. Meanwhile, many other utilities are making dramatic changes to their portfolio, including Xcel here in Colorado, announcing plans for 100 percent renewable energy.

We Americans have become passive in our usual, depowering relationships. We click away our rights to corporate entities, signing contracts so long and dense they’re unreadable.

But we need to wake the heck up. LPEA is a portal to self-determination. We can install community-owned energy generation, with important benefits that will pass on to our kids and grandkids. These benefits include local, well-paying jobs; recirculating in our local economy the $70 million per year that we currently send to Denver; and sovereignty over our future, with decision-making in-

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March 21, 2019 n 7

house. Perhaps most importantly, the vital knowledge that we are not continuing to rape our young by continuing our foolish coal-burning habits.

Ballots are mailed April 2 – your vote and awareness are crucial. Get involved, or more involved. If you understand the magnitude of these issues, stepping up and becoming active in creating positive change is the antidote!

Visit San Juan Citizens Alliance website for more information and “Renewable Energy Durango” on Facebook.

On Sat. March 23, from 3:15-5:45 p.m., come hear what is happening with your electric cooperative at the Durango Public Library. Presentations and a panel discussion by LPEA directors (speaking on their own behalf, not as representatives of LPEA) and Dick White will illuminate topics such as how power markets operate; what our options are as a cooperative; the risks of no change; and how Durango can join the growing list of cities making real progress toward 100 percent renewable energy.

Thanks! Now vote!

– Kirby MacLaurin, Durango (please see links online)

mittee is to have credibility and be an interface between the council and citizens regarding the city’s financial future, then listen and utilize public input in its design.

Nominating two former council members, per Le Blanc’s suggestion, is pure folly and suggests only that Le Blanc wants to protect his territory. To be successful, this committee needs people versed in a variety of areas, who can challenge long held assumptions, be skillful and think out of the box, and be credible with citizens and councilors.

I also hope that with the new council, citizen participation will be once again valued, when councilors will respond to citizen emails, and where dialogue between councilors and citizens can occur. This might lessen the mistrust citizens have for the council and city management.

– Pete Johnson, Durango

City needs to listen to citizens

To the editor, So now the City has proposed a new ½ cent tax for 10 years. Why? With sales tax revenue threatened by increasing online sales, decreasing oil & gas tax revenue, increasing construction costs, and higher minimum wages, the City needs to raise money to adequately maintain and repair the of streets of Durango. This will save the citizens millions of dollars over time. The tax will be used for specific projects that the City has prioritized based on paving assessments and other metrics. This is not some haphazard plan, but one based on careful, long-term planning. Please visit the www.A1durango.com website for answers to many of the questions and criticisms that have been raised.

As to raiding the 2015 recreation tax funding (approved by 70 percent), this would require a vote of the citizens and also be detrimental to our large recreation economy, negatively impact the health of our commu-

To the editor, Recently, the City Council approved the formation of a long-term finance committee, based on a flawed proposal by the city manager. Thankfully, only Melissa Youssef advocated for withholding determination of the members until our new City Council members are seated. More shocking is that the current council seems deaf when it comes to citizen participation in city government. Based on the November vote and listening sessions, citizens are very dissatisfied with the council and city manager regarding finances, and citizens called for a finance committee.

Without any public participation, the council determined the committee by-laws and structure. Why is this council so arrogant that it chooses to bypass citizen input in a structure/process suggested by citizens? If the com-

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1A represents long-term planning

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nity, and damage our local culture and reputation. Rarely mentioned or discussed are the myriad programs and activities that the recreation department provides for the children of our working parents such as Gametime, Lego building, chess club, kids club, etc. These provide an affordable, safe, healthy, educational space after school, during school vacations and over the summer for the children of Durango that allows their parents to work in our community.

Fifty cents for every $100 is money well spent to maintain our streets. I urge all residents to go to www.A1dur ango.com for more information and to vote YES on 1A! – Sandy Burke, Durango

Forward-thinking leadership

To the editor, I am supporting Barbara Noseworthy and Kim Baxter for City Council due to their varied and impressive professional experience, which they will use to provide leadership and vision to tackle Durango’s challenging financial and social issues. I have known Noseworthy personally for some time and know her to be thoughtful, focused, committed, ready to listen to concerns from the entire community, and with a wealth of knowledge and expertise invaluable to the City Council. She believes that people want their government to be transparent, accountable and sustainable.

While I do not know Baxter personally, I have been impressed with her likewise thoughtful responses in forums and with her experience, and I believe she shares similar values that can provide thoughtful and forwardthinking leadership.

Please take time to read and hear the candidates for City Council and consider voting for these two candidates.

– Charlotte Deters, Durango

TopStory

Meet the candidates Council hopefuls sound off on everything from favorite jams to taxes

by Tracy Chamberlin

E

ver think about what Durango city councilors do with their spare time? What music they’ll listen to on the way to a Council meeting, or how they feel about Question 1-A? This week, the Telegraph posed these questions and more to the four candidates – Kim Baxter, Jaime McMillan, Barbara Noseworthy and Marcos Wisner – vying for the two open seats on the Council in this April’s election. Here are their responses:

Jaime McMillan

Previous/current occupation: Financial adviser What do you like to do on your day off? I try and dedicate days off as “me” days. Take a swim at the rec center, strolling antique shops downtown, or binge streaming movies. I also like books. They’re tangible, have a beginning and an end – contrary to never-ending social media. My next read is Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? “Little McMillan Wing” by Jimi Hendrix. It’s about love being a vulnerable intention and the solo’s pretty sweet, too.

What is your spirit animal? The bull because it’s symbolic of stocks rising or in my business a “bull market.” Also, bulls get to keep their balls which is appealing.

Would you have voted to place Question 1-A on this April’s ballot? Why or why not? Raising taxes is a harder argument than not raising taxes. I understand the end, but don’t agree with the means. Sales taxes take a larger percent of lower paychecks than higher paychecks. There’s time for an ask on taxes and then there’s not. Today, four out of 10 Americans can’t come up with $400 if an emergency struck, so the economy needs time to grow. One tremendous growth area is developing around cannabis and hemp. Beyond dispensaries, there’s a limitless ecosystem of ancillary businesses coming like marijuana hospitality lounges, cannabinoid scientific research, care giving for patients, and even canna-tourism. If oil was black gold, then marijuana looks to be the new green gold.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? The biggest issue is the local economy. I’m concerned about keeping Durango unique for locals and tourists. People come here not because of who they are but rather who they could be. An entrepreneur, proprietor of cannabis or spirits, restaurant founder, a teacher, a student or a veteran coming home. Our central downtown business district is where it starts for everyone. I would like to see a renaissance of innovation and creativity centered downtown where locals can have better social and business connectivity. Everyone’s working on a dream, and collaboration eliminates barriers to progress. In turn, a good idea goes from the realm of possibility into the realm of probability.

Kim Baxter Previous/current occupation: I am a walnut farmer. Although not an occupation, I am currently on the City Planning Commission and a volunteer with Adaptive Sports Association, the Regional Science Fair and Destination Imagination. Previously, I owned a bookstore and before that I was the North American distributor for Porsche mountain bikes. I have a degree in

Break out the ballots Election Day is Tues., April 2. Ballots can be mailed back or dropped off, but all ballots must be received by 7 p.m., April 2. Postmarks do not count. Ballots can be dropped off at: • City Clerk’s office, 949 E. 2nd Ave. (7:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. weekdays, and 8 a.m.-4 p.m. weekends) • La Plata County Administration Building, 1101 E. 2nd Ave. (24-hour drop box) • La Plata County Clerk & Recorder, 98 Everett St. (24-hour drop box).

If you haven’t received your ballot or have any questions, call the City Clerk’s office at 375-5010. finance from the University of Utah and held several senior financial positions.

What do you like to do on your day off? I spend quality time with my husband, John, and our doggies, Hugin and Bear. Skiing of all sorts in the winter – alpine, skate-skiing and backcountry.

My summer passion is mountain biking on all the wonderful trails in the Durango area.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and Baxter the Waves!

What is your spirit animal? The wolf speaks to my heart about loyalty and love for family and community.

Would you have voted to place Question 1-A on this April’s ballot? Why or why not? I feel that all the options for managing expenses and creating revenue were not fully explored or considered, and as such I believe that 1A was premature. Our City Council needs to focus on and evaluate ways to provide basic City services that do not include tax increases before putting a tax increase on the ballot.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? I believe the character of Durango as a multi-generational community is one worthy of retaining and enhancing. Creating available housing for all income levels and supporting good-paying jobs through business development, both home-grown and new, is key to the ability of young families, returning young adults, seniors and all our residents to be able to call Durango home. Our quality of life is incredible and that did not occur by accident or without effort, and will take thoughtful decision-making to maintain and enhance in the future.

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Barbara Noseworthy Previous/current occupation: Strategic planning consultant on sustainable development, resource mobilization and public/private partnerships. My clients have included the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the World Food Program, and U.S. 4

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March 21, 2019 n

9

and international organizations. Prior to that, I held executive leadership positions at several universities.

I also am on the board of the Global Child Nutrition Foundation where we work with governments and the private sector to develop school meal programs. Here in Durango, I serve on the board of the Durango Independent Film Festival, Durango Noseworthy Playfest and the Public Arts Commission.

What do you like to do on your day off? Depending on the time of year, that would be hiking in the San Juans, kayaking the Animas, XC skiing with my husband and dog, or training for the Iron Horse – I may be the slowest rider ever to make it to Silverton. I also play Scrabble and love to read.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? These days, the music seems to be stuck on “Born to Run” and “I Will Survive.” But my choice would be Aretha Franklin’s “Natural Woman.”

What is your spirit animal? While living in Wyoming, I saw a moose by the side of the road. Got out of my little VW and walked toward it (stupid, me). We looked into each other’s eyes, and I was captivated by the grace and beauty of this large, gangly creature. Ever since, I have a special connection with moose.

Would you have voted to place Question 1-A on this April’s ballot? Why or why not? No. We need deeper engagement with our community on the budget. I

wrote a Letter to the Editor that I also shared with the City Council and the city manager on five questions I felt the City needed to address regarding our budget: How it compares with other cities of our size? How we got to the place where our roads and other infrastructure are not being maintained? What has been already cut from the budget?

How can we explore solutions to adjusting the General Fund to finance our roads? And, what big capital and maintenance projects are anticipated and how will they be financed? That’s the kind of deep community engagement I suggest before putting any tax increase on the ballot.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? Fiscal responsibility, including creating a long-term financial advisory board reporting to the City Council; affordable housing; good paying jobs; working with numerous groups and the County to address homelessness; and mitigating and adapting to climate change, especially as it relates to fire mitigation, water resources, renewable energy and the air we breathe.

Marcos Wisner Previous/current occupation: Former chef. Current business owner/entrepreneur.

What do you like to do on your day off? You’ll find me in the backcountry skiing, on the river rafting, in the mountains backpacking, or on the lake wake surfing and relaxing. We live in a special place that not only encourages these pursuits, but also continues to invest in the unique surrounding resources that allow us to participate in them. It never ceases to amaze me how many great people there are in the community that I get to do these things with.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? “Juicy” by Notorious B.I.G. What is your spirit animal? John Hickenlooper Would you have voted to place Question 1-A on this April’s ballot? Why or why not? I’m unaware of the alternative options, if any, that were brought to City Council to remedy our infrastructure problems. At this

time, I can’t say whether I would have voted to put it on the ballot or not, but I can say that it is clear we have an issue that deserves serious attention and consideration. The longer we take to find a solution, the more it will cost us in the long run.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? I would like to put a spotlight Wisner on the areas that need to be addressed in order to resolve our budget constraints. To me, that means promoting small business growth and opportunity, and property development, infill and flexibility. We need to be able to set long-term goals, enforce hard deadlines and create capital safety nets when planning city spending. Amending our current (Land Use and Development Code), improving relationships between the community and our city staff, and taking back the leadership of our town from city staff by emboldening the voice of our citizens through a proactive council are important steps to achieving our goals.n

Wondering about 1-A? The Telegraph examined the city’s request for a sales tax increase in last week’s edition. Check out the story “Pounding the pavement” on our website, www.durangotele graph.com, to find out what it means for your wallet and hear from both sides of the debate.

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telegraph

yocal presented by

How to Marie Kondo Like a Local A LOCAL’S GUIDE TO SPRING CLEANING

I

was slow on hearing about this Marie Kondo person. It was about a month or so ago when I first heard her name on an episode of NPR’s Wait Wait...

Don’t Tell Me (where I get most of my political and pop culture news), and I’m already sick of hearing about her. She’s truly going out on a limb by telling me that the only things holding me back from true happiness are the pile of rarely worn clothes sitting in my closet and the box of yarn I’ll never use to knit.

But Marie Kondo has been telling people to get rid of their old junk in order to “spark joy” for a long time now. The author of the bestselling book The LifeChanging Magic of Tidying Up has somehow squeezed her way into our homes and made what we were already calling “spring cleaning” into a physiological phenomenon—and for that, I suppose, she is our hero.

Whether you want to call it “sparking joy,” “spring cleaning,” or just checking off boxes on the honey-do list, it is now officially the time of year to start dusting off the cobwebs, clearing out your closet, and asking that old desk lamp if it brings you joy.

How to Marie Kondo like a Local: First, walk into your chosen room, close your eyes, breathe in deep, open your eyes, and take a look around. Panic. Allow your heart to race from the sheer overwhelm of clutter. Stop. Turn around and leave your house immediately. Go to your local liquor store and get a bottle of your choice.

Local recommendations: River Liquor, Star Liquors, Wagon Wheel, or a growler from Carvers

Next, go back to the room, take another deep breath, walk toward an object, and pick it up. Stare at it for longer than you should ever stare at an object and ask yourself (silently, otherwise, you’re that crazy person speaking out loud to an inanimate object) if it brings you joy. If it barks, meows, or licks your face, set it down. It is your pet, and even though it ate your gloves yesterday, it does bring you joy.

Local recommendations for an “I’m sorry for questioning your joygiving-ness” pet toy or treat: Healthy Hounds and Fat Cats, Pet Haus, or an adjustment at Durango Animal Chiropractor

Then, sort your objects into piles of “yes, this brings me joy” and “no, this does not bring me joy” and stare at the two piles for a while, whilst changing your mind and shuffling objects between piles a dozen times. Give up, take a break, and go get something to eat.

Local recommendations: a cocktail at Cantera, a beer at Brew, another cocktail at Derailed Pour House, another beer at Ska, ice cream at Cream Bean Berry

Next, wobble back into your room and be that go-getter you’ve always wanted to be! You CAN make decisions! You aren’t tied to things! You got this! We believe in you!! Package up your items to take to the thrift store and then go to bed—you’ve had a few drinks. It’s been a big day; good work, Sport. Let’s try again tomorrow.

Local recommendations before bed: pizza from Fired Up or Homeslice, or both

Then, when you wake up in the morning, take all the objects that don’t bring you any joy and take them to a thrift store or consignment shop. Remember that you don’t hate these objects, they just don’t bring you joy, so refrain from throwing them down with rage and yelling at anyone.

Local recommendations (for your hangover): breakfast burrito at Backcountry Gourmet, coffee at Singletrack Coffee, a soak at salt 360, a massage at the Spaaah Shop, a session at Thrive Chiropractic, or go straight to Rivergate Pharmacy

Local recommendations for thrift stores/consignment shops: La Plata County Humane Society, {re}Love, Reruns, Second Time Around Finally, before leaving the thrift and/or consignment store, close your eyes, breathe in deep, open your eyes, and take a look around. Start shopping.

Spend the next hour or so running around trying on clothes and looking at objects. They all bring you joy, so purchase everything.

Local recommendations for self-help books: Maria’s Bookshop, Y.E.S.S. The Book Hutch

-JENNAYE DERGE

11

Durango Outdoor Exchange OUTDOOR GEAR CONSIGNMENT SHOP MAKES BIG MOVES

of town. It’s also close to the 32nd and Oxbow put-ins, and a few blocks from the River Trail and many in-town hiking and biking trails.

Our new parking lot will provide us the opportunity to do events, classes, and meet-ups that we’ve always wanted to incorporate into our business. We look forward to partnering with individuals, nonprofits, and other organizations to offer some really fun opportunities.

We’ll also be open for longer hours: 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. in the winter and 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. in the summer. Come shop at your convenience!

LF: What feeds the flame of your campfire (i.e., what feeds your passion)?

DOX: Each day, we get to experience the thrill of used gear

The Durango Outdoor Exchange crew, from left: manager, Taylor Criswell, Owners, Jen and Chase LaCroix and token shop dogs, Tyson and Copper all in front of their new location inside the old Pizza Hut building on North Main Ave. / photo by Jennaye Derge

LOCAL FIRST: Fill us in on Durango Outdoor Exchange’s mission.

DURANGO OUTDOOR EXCHANGE:

At Durango Outdoor Exchange, we want to provide access to adventure! By providing a place for used gear to be purchased at reasonable prices, we hope to eliminate some of the barriers people face when wanting to take on a new outdoor activity.

We also aim to give gear a second life and help consignors make money for their next adventure. People upgrade gear for a variety of reasons, and often their used gear is still in great condition.

Customers can purchase a used pack, bike, or tent and be stoked to get out on the trails, while consignors make money they can use toward store credit or easily get paid a check once their gear sells.

LF: You’re moving! What will your new location have to offer? Why should we all be stoked about it?

DOE:

getting a second life. Sometimes that means that an older person who is having back surgery consigns his barely used skis, and a 20-something scoops them up to have the best season of his life, on skis he couldn’t have afforded otherwise.

Or, it’s a single mom outfitting her three teenage boys in brand names they are thrilled to wear. And most days, it’s just someone like you and me, trying our best to make it in Durango, looking for a sweet deal on gear so we can get out and enjoy this incredible place in which we live.

The community itself and the relationships we have fostered are our favorite part of the shop. We try to know our customers’ names and show our genuine appreciation for their continued support. We are grateful to live in a unique and special place where people value local, independent business, and it’s provided us the ability to grow our business, our family, and our feeling of belonging.

Moving Sale March 23rd-24th Help us clear out inventory from the 546 E College Drive store before our big move!

We can’t wait to see everyone at the new shop at 3677 Main Ave starting April 12th!

Parking! That’s a big one, but really, there are lots of reasons we’re excited about our new location. We’ve remodeled the old Pizza Hut building (3677 Main Ave.), and it’s basically unrecognizable, other than the iconic roof. The inside provides a large, clean layout for gear to be displayed well, which will allow us to accept more used gear on consignment, providing a better selection for our customers.

The new shop sits in an ideal vicinity to adventure. It’s on the way to Purgatory and all the endless possibilities of fun that exist north

12

TO LEARN MORE VISIT: WWW.DURANGOOUTDOOREXCHANGE.COM OR VISIT THEIR FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM PAGE

Rivergate Pharmacy

Owner, Lori Kearney tells us what sets her apart from the crowd

LOCAL FIRST: philosophy?

RIVERGATE CENTER:

What

is

PHARMACY

Rivergate

&

Pharmacy’s

COMPOUNDING

Our philosophy is really our mission statement, which is to enhance the health and well-being of our customers and community. We do this by providing compassionate, attentive service that exceeds expectations and that demonstrates our responsiveness, professionalism, integrity, and respect for all who walk through our doors. We value personal relationships and want our customers and patients to feel like we know them by name.

LF: What sets you apart from other pharmacies?

RG:

We are Durango’s only locally owned pharmacy. This means we’re able to address unique individual needs in ways that the chain drug stores cannot. We are here not only to help patients find solutions to their healthcare needs, but to help prevent them from having problems with their medication regimen.

We also offer in-house compounding, which means that if a patient, their child, or their pet needs a medication that’s not commercially available, we can usually compound that medication to fit their unique situation, and we do it all on site. If a patient is looking for something that’s not readily available, we can research our vendors to get that product for them. We’re also the only pharmacy in our area that offers a free delivery service, a free vitamin program for our local kids, and a range of medical equipment and supplies.

LF: What can patients expect from a visit to you?

RG:

They can expect to be greeted by our friendly, professional, and knowledgeable team. We care about our patients’ health and will take the time to answer questions. We want our patients to have the best results possible from their medications; as such, we also offer scheduled consults and synchronized medications for better medication management.

LF: Why should people choose Rivergate for their health needs?

RG:

Because we’re a locally owned pharmacy, and because we’re committed to our community and our patients’ health and well-being.

It sounds cliché, but we truly do care. As an independent pharmacy

Owner, Lori Kearney helps a customer with his pharmacy needs / courtesy photo

owner, we have to contend with the corporate chain pharmacy competition that’s out there. So every patient and customer makes a difference.

My husband Pat and I have lived in Durango and worked in the healthcare field here for over 33 years. We are invested in La Plata County, and we want to be Durango’s local community pharmacy. We really appreciate all that Local First does to support and promote our local, independent businesses. Small business owners need to support each other, especially in a small community like ours, and Local First creates an opportunity to do that in a more collaborative and intentional way.

LF: What additional services does Rivergate offer?

RG:

Along with our medication delivery service and medication consults, we offer BHRT (bio-identical hormone replacement) counseling, pharmaceutical-grade CBD products, compounded prescriptions for people and pets, pharmacogenetic testing, immunizations (including travel vaccines in collaboration with Dr. Jay Mathers), medical compression garments that are ready made or custom-fitted, and our own line of Rivergate-brand supplements.

One of our streamlined services, Synchronized Medication Management, means that we will work with patients’ providers and insurance companies to get all their meds approved and coordinated so they can pick them up upon refill all at once, saving them time and hassle.

Whew, we really do a lot! We strive to go above and beyond to set ourselves apart as a local pharmacy, to make life a little bit easier and better for our patients and for our community.

TO LEARN MORE VISIT www.rivergatepharmacy.com or call (970) 375-7711 575 Rivergate Lane, Suite 111 | Durango, CO 81301

13

Spotted!

We love our town because our town loves us!

When you purchase your 2019 Be Local Coupon Book at Durango Natural Foods, Local First donates $15 to the DNF Vendor Relief Fund.

Get discounts for a good cause!

Join the community for the quarterly

WORKSHOP Find more info at BestforCO.com

The benefits of investing in LOCAL healthcare are many. The therapists at Absolute Physical Therapy & Wellness have a passion for our community. You buy your veggies local, KEEP YOUR HEALTHCARE LOCAL TOO. ABSOLUTE PHYSICAL THERAPY & WELLNESS

www.AbsolutePTWell.com

Be Local Coupon of the Month

Durango Insurance has been helping local businesses with their insurance needs since 2003. We have the same technology and industry insight as those bigger “Denver brokers”, but we keep your hard earned money right here in La Plata County. We specialize in Group Benefits, Medicare Supplements, Individual & Life.

DURANGO INSURANCE PROFESSIONALS

www.DurangoInsurancePros.com

Find it in the Be Local Coupon Book sold at local retailers

The Yocalistas Content Creator - Jennaye Derge Queen Whip Snapper - Monique DiGiorgio Empress of Grammar - Lisa Mastny Local First’s Localistas Kiki Hooton Hayley Kirkman Visit LOCAL-FIRST.ORG to learn more about Local First!

Interested in featuring your local business in Yocal?

Email: jennaye@local-first.org

14

Adopt, Donate, Shop, Foster, Volunteer, Become a Member.

All proceeds benefit the animals (and humans) in our community. Help us, help them, one paw (and foot) at a time.

LA PLATA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY

QUARTER 2 TOPIC: EMPLOYEE OWNERSHIP At this workshop, learn from a panel of local businesses about employee ownership models and how it may benefit your business.

Tuesday, April 2nd from 12pm-1pm at the Durango Rec Center

Have piles of bookkeeping or paperwork left undone? Been saying “just get it done”? Have Cindy Arnold Humiston use her 35 years of experience to clear those up, quickly and efficiently. Free initial consultations.

BACKLOG BE GONE

www.BacklogBeGone.com

We are a member-owned food co-op where anyone can shop since 1973. We provide the highest quality organic groceries and locally sourced produce. Our full service deli uses organic and local ingredients and has a wide selection of vegan/vegetarian entrees and desserts.

DURANGO NATURAL FOODS CO-OP

www.DurangoNaturalFoods.coop

Durango’s locally-owned pharmacy, offering traditional and compounded prescriptions for people and pets, medical equipment and supplies, over-the-counter products, BHRT and homeopathic and herbal remedies. We share a passion for quality service and care in a small community pharmacy setting.

RIVERGATE PHARMACY

www.LPCHumaneSociety.org

www.RivergatePharmacy.com

March Right in Windshield Sale: Receive 15% off our already-low windshield prices or use your car insurance and receive a $25 gift certificate to East

by Southwest of Zia Taqueria! Call for an appointment today. 970-247-0440.

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From manners to Scent Detection, we’ve got you covered. Small classes and oneon-one attention done with loving care to build a bond between you and your best friend. Don't forget to use our coupon in the 2019 Be Local Coupon Book!

SMART ENTERPRISES

www.SmartEnterprises.net

WAG BETWEEN BARKS

www.WagBetweenBarks.com

dayinthelife

The golden hour

by Stephen Eginoire

W

hat else signals the arrival of spring better than experiencing canyon country’s finest hour? The rising and setting sun over twisting canyons, naked rock and

A gleaming pool of water and a setting sun alongside North Six Shooter tower.

high mesas is as inspiring as it is beautiful. So grab your hiking boots, camp chair or whatever your preferred observation method may be, head out west, and watch a good one. Here’s a look:

The layers and horizons of Arches Park and Castle Valley at sunrise.

Snow-capped La Sal Mountains at sunrise.

South Six Shooter and glowing walls of wingate sandstone.

The twisted branches of a dead juniper tree.

telegraph

March 21, 2019 n 15

OnStage

Blast from the past FLC Theater time travels to the ’50s for Broadway musical ‘My Favorite Year’

by Zach Hively

M

ost of us don’t actually want America to return to the 1950s, but wouldn’t it be sweet to slip back in time for the best parts of that so-called simpler era? For two hours a day through this weekend, that’s exactly what you can get at the Fort Lewis College Theater.

The spring theater production at FLC is “My Favorite Year,” a musical by Joseph Dougherty, Stephen Flaherty and Lynn Ahrens, and directed by Theresa Carson. The musical is based off the Peter O’Toole movie of the same name, and while it is set squarely in the ’50s, the stage production itself debuted in 1992.

The musical revolves around a fictional variety show, the “King Kaiser Comedy Cavalcade” (which blissfully spares us the use of gratuitous initial K’s) and its wet-behind-the-ears junior writer, Benjy Stone (played by Gustavo Palma). Stone guides the audience through the nostalgia for his past – this was not, he says, his best year, his most successful year, but it was his favorite year, because of all that comes from getting to write a sketch for his long-time movie idol, Alan Swann (played by Harrison Wendt).

A mild spoiler-alert here, since audiences learn all this in the first 10 minutes or so: Swann’s star has washed up, as evidenced by the fact that he’s moving from the silver screen to TV. He’s constantly “blotto,” as the kids said in those days, and likes to roam the town. Stone is tasked with keeping Swann sober and chaste until the show airs.

And thus, the stage is set for Stone to work out his various problems: he is unsuccessfully wooing his coworker, K.C. Downing (played by Hallie Denman), has an overbearing Jewish mother (played by Erin E. Natseway) and a new boxer-turned-chef stepdad (played by Tyler Gleason), and is still grappling with his father walking out on him as a child. He took on Swann’s film characters as surrogate father figures, and now, the actor (who isn’t such a great dad himself) is perhaps different than Stone cracked him up to be. Not to mention, it’s hard to get your

JusttheFacts What: “My Favorite Year” Where: Fort Lewis College Mainstage Theatre When: 7:30 p.m., March 21-24 Tickets: $16 adults; $10 seniors/FLC staff & faculty/nonFLC students; free for FLC students with valid ID. Available at durangoconcerts.com and the Durango Welcome Center on 8th St. and Main Ave.

16 n March 21, 2019

FLC student Gustavo Palma as Benjy Stone in “My Favorite Year.” sketches on the air as the new guy on the staff.

In many ways, “My Favorite Year” is like a musical theater version of “30Rock.” Yet that sitcom’s predecessors are foreign material to many of the FLC students performing in the production. “It’s like a cross between Dick Van Dyke and Carol Burnett,” director Theresa Carson said. “That’s what I’ve been using as models and research, and we’ve been talking about them as a cast.”

One of the challenges in staging this musical is embodying the character of the 1950s. When putting on a period piece set out of living memory, we all draw on the same cultural references, the same movies, the same books, to cobble together a sense of, say, Victorian England. But plenty of audience members remember the ’50s and its television series vividly. And many of the cast members? Well, they don’t.

“Our whole style, our whole essence today in 2019 Durango is so different,” Carson said. “I’ve been coaching Gus (Palma) about the difference in how we hold our bodies, how we talk. It’s just getting us out of our modern-day vocal patterns, physicality.”

Palma, whose Benjy Stone bears a Matthew Brodericklike innocence, worked to overcome the 21st-century ten-

telegraph

dency to play this young writer with a sarcastic bent. His performance makes this production what it is, considering that he is on stage for more than 90 percent of the time.

Other standouts include Wendt, who carries a worn worldliness with him as the faded star; Denman’s straightbacked portrayal of the square ingénue; and Natseway as the loud-as-life, willfully and endearingly invasive mother.

As one might suspect with a musical centered around a variety show, the cast of characters is hardly slim. Right from the opening scene’s number “Twenty Million People,” we see a Viking, a rabbit, an Egyptian, an astronaut, showgirls, and enough other costumes to match Third Avenue on Halloween. We know right away we’re in for an eclectic night.

The script itself leaves something to be desired. The play lacks the structural soundness of the more enduring musicals, and many of the songs fail to reveal character depth and find synthesis the way the best Broadway numbers do. Still, the performances are full of heart, and this musical whisks us on a nostalgic tour, whether we remember the ’50s or not.

“Our Durango community is so supportive,” Carson said. “They really love the musicals.” n

TopShelf

March Madness, Moon Hooch & In the Mood

by Chris Aaland

legendary underachievers Virginia; and everybody’s favorite underdog, Gonzaga. Big 10 in-state rivals Michigan and Michigan he most glorious two days of sports are upon us once again State are capable of deep runs, as is Tennessee, which challenged as March Madness gets under way today and Friday. SixKentucky and LSU for an SEC crown this year. I don’t take much teen games a day. Buzzer beaters. Cinderellas. Favorites sent stock in the Big 12, although Kansas and Kansas State are cerpacking. tainly skilled enough to knock off some higher seeds.

The 2018-19 season will long be remembered as the Days of One of my brackets sees Duke as my champion, while the Zion. Duke freshman forward Zion Williamson stands at just 6other picks the Tar Heels. My heart wants to see Zion cut down foot-7, but he’s a giant in the game. At 285 lbs., he’d already be the nets, but my head tells me UNC wins it all again. See you at the second heaviest player in the NBA. What sets him apart isn’t BREW today and Friday as I watch the action with a cold pint of just the girth, but the vertiErik’s finest in front of me. cal jump, measured at 45 If you need to get your inches. When Zion flies boogie on this week, catch through the lane, he’s capaMoon Hooch with special ble of posterizing anyone. guests Elena Shirin of AramNo dunk is too audacious for boa and local hero Peter the man.

Robot at 9:30 p.m. Friday.

Zion is already one of Based in EDM, Moon Hooch those feared one-name guys uses a live horn section to like LeBron, Kobe, Magic, Kadrive a reverse DJ effect, takreem and Wilt. He’s the ing live sound from their hottest commodity in bashorns and running it through ketball and sure to be a frantheir laptops for recorded efchise-changing player at the fects. Elements of virtuosic next level. jazz and groovy funk spice up But will he lead Duke to the mix. its sixth NCAA title this If big band is your bag, spring? That’s a question you’ve probably already purworth pondering. chased tickets to the Glenn I’m a lifelong Duke basMiller Orchestra at the ketball fan because a kid Community Concert Hall at Pascuala Ilabaca y Fauna bring Chilean music (and badass accorfrom the neighborhood that dion!) to the Community Concert Hall at 7:30 p.m., Tuesday.

7:30 p.m. Saturday. Miller was I used to play pick-up games one of the most successful with at the Jeffco YMCA in the mid ‘80s – Marty Clark – wound bandleaders in big band and swing in the 1930s and ’40s, recordup winning a pair of titles as a reserve guard for the Blue Devils in ing such standards as “In the Mood,” “Moonlight Serenade,” 1991 and ’92. I was fortunate to play in the highest level of Col“Pennsylvania 6-5000” and “Chattanooga Choo Choo.” A Colorado schoolboy basketball back in the day. Wheat Ridge was a orado boy who attended Fort Morgan High School and the Uniperennial powerhouse (at least through my sophomore year), and versity of Colorado, he was shot down over the English Channel we routinely played summer league, AAU and preseason scrimin 1944 en route from London to Paris, where he was set to permages against the best teams from Denver, Boulder, Colorado form with his U.S. Army Air Forces Band. The 18-piece ensemble Springs and the metro area suburbs. I got to post up against futhat carries his name keeps his music alive. ture NBA and NFL players and held my own. Clark, three years The Concert Hall also hosts Chilean music at 7:30 p.m. Tuesmy younger, always possessed a smooth game and fantastic shot. day when Pascuala Ilabaca y Fauna come to town. An acFollowing him on TV during his college career was easy. Ever cordion-wielding songstress, Ilabaca is a favorite on the new since, I’ve watched one All-American after another suit up for scene of young Chilean singer/songwriters. Her music is rooted Coach K. Three more titles came along the way, much to the dein traditional sounds, but incorporates shades of jazz, pop, rock spair of my friends who rooted for Kansas, Kentucky and North and foreign influences from India and Mexico. Critics rave that Carolina. her stage presence “conjures up sweetness and empowerment at This year’s Duke team is loaded with three freshmen projected the same time, setting her songs alive with both fragility and to be top five NBA picks later this spring. In addition to Zion, forverve.” wards R.J. Barrett and Cam Reddish are capable of dominating One of Colorado’s best bands in any genre, DeVotchKa, plays any game. Throw in point guard Tre Jones – one of the best dethe Sheridan Opera House in Telluride at 9 p.m. Saturday. The fenders and passers in the nation – and you should have the mak- Denver-based quartet has been around since 1997, earning a huge ings of one of the most dominant teams in NCAA history, following thanks to their quirky, indie, tough-to-categorize rivaling legendary squads from Houston (three straight Final sound. Traditional rock instruments like guitar, bass, keyboards Fours for Phil Slama Jama from 1982-84), UNLV (1990-91) and and drums are augmented with theremin, bouzouki, trumpet, acKentucky (the 2014-15 team that went 38-0 before being upset in cordion, sousaphone and flute. They’ve released 11 albums along the Final Four). The problem is, none of those teams finished the the way, including 2018’s excellent “This Night Falls Forever” and deal and cut down the nets. its catchy single, “Straight Shot.”

Duke has several Achilles’ heels. They shoot poorly from 3-point The best thing I’ve heard all week is the newest record from range and the foul line. If any of the big three suffer injuries or land blues-rock guitar god Gary Clark Jr. The title track is an autobiin foul trouble, their bench is surprisingly thin. And their 3-point ographical tale of Clark – an African-American – being questioned defense is inconsistent. Their 29-5 record and style points in a by his neighbors for owning a mansion in the outskirts of Austin. tough schedule earned them the overall No. 1 seed, but I’d be surIt’s the angriest song of the Trump Era, chock full of Rage Against prised to see them cakewalk through the tourney. the Machine angst.

I see five teams with serious chances to do damage: Duke; their archrival, North Carolina; perennial powerhouse Kentucky; Gimme the ball I’m hot? Email me at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net. n

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onthetown

Thursday21 Here to Hear: Office Hour with Councilor Dick White, 9-10 a.m., downstairs at the Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. ​Baby Meetup with Durango Café au Play, 9:30-11:30 a.m., 2307 Columbine. 749-9607.

Office Hours with La Plata County Commissioner Julie Westendorff, 10 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Bach’s Lunch Concert Series, part of the Durango Bach Festival, noon, event also runs March 22, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave. www.durangobachfest ival.com.

“Pictures at an Exhibition” free lecture on “Starry Night,” Van Gogh and Anne Sexton, 4-5:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center Theater, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durango arts.org.

“Doc Swords,” PTSD Social Club for Veterans, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Celebration of Shaw Solar, Durango’s first certified B Corp., hosted by Local First. Devin Scott performs. 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Karaoke, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

and City Council candidates, and others, 3:15-5:45 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Plursday featuring DJ Tones, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Adam Swanson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Friday22

Greg Ryder performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Durango Early Bird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA, 45 Stewart St. 769-7615.

Free yoga, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Lively Boutique, 809 Main Ave.

Festival Grand Finale, commemorating Johann Sebastian Bach’s 334th birthday, part of the 12th annual Durango Bach Festival, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave. www.durangobachfestival.com.

Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Thunder from Down Under, 7 and 10 p.m., Sky Ute Casino, Ignacio. www.skyutecasino.com.

STEAM Lab, for ages 5-12, 3:30-4:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Glenn Miller Orchestra, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangocon certs.com.

Spanish Speaking Parents & Littles Fridays, 4-6 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. durangocafeauplay.org.

Robby Overfield performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” screening, 6 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Comedy Cocktail open mic stand up, 8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave. The Risan Project, featuring screening of “Zabardast,” 9 p.m., and live music from Salem, 10 p.m., The Avon in Silverton.

DJ Zirk, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tim Sullivan performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Bay 9 performs, 6-8 p.m., Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave. 403-8182.

Sitting Meditation, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.

Prolifec Calaveras performs, 6-9 p.m., DJ Hakan, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Open Mic Night, 6 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

Dustin Burley performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Women Outside Adventure Forum featuring US/Mexico Border thru-hikers Tenny Ostrem & Claire Wernstedt-Lynch, part of the 4th annual Women Outside Adventure Forum, 6-8:30 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. www.womenoutside.org.

Hula Dance Spring Studio Showing, 7 p.m., Smiley Building Room 24, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Bolshoi Ballet: Sleeping Beauty, 12:55 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. www.animasci tytheatre.com.

Sitton Shotgun performs, 8 p.m., The Billy Goat Saloon in Gem Village.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jean-Pierre Restaurant & Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Moon Hooch Aramboa performs, 9:30 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Monday25

The Four Corners Back Country Horsemen meet, presentation from farrier Steve Rodrigues, 7 p.m., Florida Grange. www.4cbch.org.

“The Role of Psychology in Business,” part of the Life Long Learning Lecture Series, 7 p.m., Noble Hall at Fort Lewis College, Room 130. www.fortlewis.edu/profes sionalassociates.

Open Mic & Stand-Up, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Sunday24 Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Restaurant & Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. Traditional Irish Music Jam, 12:30-4 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Saturday23

Yoga Storytime, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building Studio 10, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Watch Your Step class, 10:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Restaurant & Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. VFW Indoor Flea Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 1550 Main Ave. 247-0384.

Members Social and Board of Directors Update for Friends of the San Juans, 4-8 p.m., Carvers Brewing, 1022 Main Ave.

Energy 101: Navigating the New Energy Market, featuring panel discussions from local leaders, LPEA

Joel Racheff performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.4

LOCAL FIRST #!

18 n March 21, 2019

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Womenade, benefit for the Women’s Resource Center, 5:30 p.m., Rochester Hotel, 726 E. 2nd Ave. “A Place at the Table” screening, followed by panel discussion on the issue of hunger and food inequity in the region, hosted by The Good Food Collective, 6-8:30 p.m., Noble Hall at Fort Lewis College, Room 130.

Hungry for the truth Film, forum explores solutions to food insecurity What: “A Place at the Table – an Evening Exploring Food Insecurity,” documentary screening and discussion When: 6 – 8 p.m., Mon., March 25 Where: Fort Lewis College Noble Hall, Room 130 Info: Free but donations of cash or healthy, shelf-stable foods are welcome. To learn more, visit the Facebook event page or email Rachel@goodfoodcollective.org Nearly 50 percent of produce in the United States is thrown away every year, some 60 million tons, making food the biggest constituent of landfills in America. Yet, one in six Americans – and one in four children – are not sure where their next meal is coming from. Locally, the numbers are not much better, with 13 percent of La Plata County residents and 28 percent of FLC students afflicted by not having enough to eat.

Durango’s Good Food Collective and the FLC Environmental Center attempt to tackle this thorny problem, and solutions – both locally and nationally – Monday evening with “A Place at the Table – an Evening Exploring Food Insecurity.” The two-hour event will feature a screening of the documentary “A Place at the Table” as well as panel and roundtable discussions.

Directed by Lori Silverbush and Kristi Jacobson in 2012, when about 50 million Americans were food insecure, the film examines the issue of hunger in America, largely through the stories of people suffering from food insecurity.

Children tend to be more affected by food insecurity than adults, with one in every two receiving federal food assistance at least once in their lives. Compounding the problem is poverty, which forces many families to go for the low-hang-

ing calories of inexpensive processed foods.

The film follows the lives of several individuals struggling to put healthy food on the table, including: • Barbie, a single Philadelphia mother who grew up in poverty and is trying to provide a better life for her two children; • Rosie, a Colorado fifth-grader who often has to depend on friends and neighbors to feed her and has trouble concentrating in school; • Tremonica, a Mississippi second-grader whose asthma and health problems are exacerbated by the largely empty calories her hardworking mother can afford.

Other Americans struggling with hunger are also featured, including a cop whose monthly paycheck leaves only enough money to buy food for two weeks, forcing him to use a food bank.

But the film is not all doom and gloom. “A Place at the Table” also provides solutions to the problem. Social programs, such as those in the ’70s which have been cut in recent years, have been proven to work. However, the power rests in the hands of the American people, who must decide – as they have in the past – to make healthy, affordable food a priority for all.

The film also stars anti-hunger advocate and Hollywood actor Jeff Bridges, musician T Bone Burnett, celebrity chef Tom Colicchio (of “Top Chef” fame and husband of director Lori Silverbush), and journalist and activist Raj Patel.

The Good Food Collective is a local nonprofit organization working to build a regional food system in Southwestern Colorado. Its work includes regional coordination, support for the agricultural community, and addressing food insecurity.

Pascuala Ilabaca y Fauna performs, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durango concerts.com.

Greg Ryder performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

6:30-8 p.m., Center of Southwest Studies at Fort Lewis College, Lyceum Room.

Latin Social Nights, 8-11 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave. 375-2568.

Thank the Veterans potluck, Peter Neds and Glenn Keefe perform, 5:30-8:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. 8287777.

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Terry Rickard performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Wednesday27

Loki Moon – Raw Experiments, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

Rob Webster performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main.

Contiki Party with the Aussies, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday26 Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave. “Refugees and Global Migration,” part of the Great Decisions International Affairs Discussion Program, 11:45 a.m.-1:45 p.m., Durango Public Library. www.fpa.org.

Terry Rickard performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Rotary Club of Durango, 6 p.m., Strater Hotel. 3857899.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. “After the 416 Fire: What to Expect in your Back Yard” with Brian Devine and Butch Knowlton, 6:30 p.m., Animas Valley Grange, 7271 County Road 203. 403-3862.

The Trivia Factory, hosted by Ben Bernstein, 6:30-8:30 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr. DJ Crazy Charlie, 6:30-10:30 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon.

Leah Orlikowski performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Free Trauma Conscious Yoga for Veterans and Families, noon-1 p.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

“Effects of Dwarf Mistletoe on Host Ecology,”

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

Karaoke with Crazy Charlie, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Ongoing Student Juried Exhibition, thru March 26, FLC Art Gallery. 247-7167.

More “On the Town” this way4

Donut Happy Hour 1 - 1:59 p.m., Monday through Friday • All donuts are buy one, get one free!

Perfect for refueling after a busy day at the mountain!

Durango Doughworks • 2653 Main Avenue Open Seven Days: 6:30 a.m. - 2 p.m.

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March 21, 2019 n 19

OntheTown from p. 19 “Imprint” by Andrea Martens, thru April 27, Friends of the Art Library at Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

After-school program, 4:15-5:15 p.m. Wednesdays, Mancos Library.

Free Morning Yoga with YogaDurango, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Saturdays and Sundays, Durango Mountain Institute at Purgatory.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Thur-Sun, 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E 8th Ave.

An Evening with Elder Grown, 9 p.m., April 4, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. www.animascitythe atre.com.

Women’s Idea Exchange, noon-1 p.m., April 12, Thrive Chiropractic Studio, 202 W. 22nd St. www.womensid eaexchange.com.

Disney’s “The Lion King Experience, Jr.”, part of the Creativity Festivity’s 25th Anniversary, April 5-7, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

Free Legal Clinic, 4-5 p.m., April 12, Ignacio Community Library.

5th annual Casino Night, fundraiser for the Durango Area Youth Hockey Association featuring casino gaming, food, music, prizes, silent auction and more, 6-11 p.m., April 5, Durango Elks Club, 901 E. 2nd Ave. 759-2298.

The Black Velvet Trio performs, 7-11 p.m., April 5, Derailed Pour House.

Blue Lotus Feet Kirtan, 7:30-9:30 p.m., April 5, YogaDurango, Florida Road.

Upcoming Ayla Nereo performs with special guests Elijah Ray and Amber Lily, 9 p.m., March 28, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. www.animascitytheatre.com.

The Durango Voice Finals, fundraiser for Manna Soup Kitchen, April 6, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. www.henrystratertheatre.com.

“Die Walküre,” presented by the Met: Live in HD, 10:55 a.m., March 30, Student Union at FLC. www.durango concerts.com.

Annual Legislative Lowdown, hosted by the League of Women Voters and featuring State Senator Don Coram and State Representative Barbara McLachlan, 10:30 a.m., April 6, Durango Public Library.

DJ CodeStar spins, 2-4 p.m., March 30, The Beach at Purgy’s. djcodestar.com.

Veterans Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., April 7, Elks Club, 901 E. 2nd Ave. 946-4831.

The Black Velvet Duo performs, 6-10 p.m., March 30, Seven Rivers Steakhouse at Sky Ute Casino in Ignacio.

“I’m Not Running,” screened by National Theatre Live Productions, 1 p.m., April 7, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

DRAGRANGO 2019, a fundraiser hosted by the Four Corners Alliance for Diversity featuring performers, comedians and more, 8 p.m., March 30, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. www.durangopride.org or www.henrystraterthe atre.com.

“Oddville,” presented by the Community Concert Hall, 7:30 p.m., April 18-19, Mainstage Theatre at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Reverend Horton Heat performs with Legendary Shack Shakers and The Hootan Hallers, 9 p.m., April 19, The Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.ani mascitytheatre.com.

Free Admission to National Parks, including Mesa Verde, April 20, Aug. 25, Sept. 28 and Nov. 11, across the United States. www.nps.gov.

Deadline for “On the Town” submissions is Monday at noon.

To submit an item, email: calendar@durango telegraph.com

Jessica Fichot performs, 7:30 p.m., April 11, Community Concert Hall. www.durangoconcerts.com.

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20 n March 21, 2019

Durango Young Progressives meet, 5-6 p.m., happy hour, 6-7 p.m., April 17, R Space, 734 E. 2nd Ave.

Writers’ Workshop, 2 p.m., April 7, Ignacio Library.

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La Plata Quilters Guild, 6 p.m., April 12, La Plata County Fairgrounds. 799-1632.

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FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19) - The coming weeks might be a good time to acquire a flamethrower. It would come in handy if you felt the urge to go to a beach and incinerate mementoes from an ex-ally. It would also be useful if you wanted to burn stuff that reminds you of who you used to be and don’t want to be any more; or if you got in the mood to set ablaze symbols of questionable ideas you used to believe in but can’t afford to believe in any more. If you don’t want to spend $1,600+ on a flamethrower, just close your eyes for ten minutes and visualize yourself performing acts of creative destruction like those I mentioned.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Taurus aphorist Olivia Dresher writes that she would like to be “a force of nature,” but “not causing any suffering.” The way I interpret her longing is that she wants to be wild, elemental, uninhibited, primal, raw, pure – all the while without inflicting any hurt or damage on herself or anyone else. In accordance with your astrological omens, Taurus, that’s a state I encourage you to embody in the coming weeks. If you’re feeling extra smart – which I suspect you will – you could go even further. You may be able to heal yourself and others with your wild, elemental, uninhibited, primal, raw, pure energy.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) In some major cities, the buttons you push at a crosswalk don’t actually work to make the traffic light turn green faster. The same is true about the “Close Door” buttons in many elevators. Pushing them doesn’t have any effect on the door.

Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer says these buttons are like placebos that give you “the illusion of control.” I bring this phenomenon to your attention, Gemini, in hope of inspiring you to scout around for comparable things in your life. Is there any situation where you imagine you have power or influence, but probably don’t? If so, now is an excellent time to find out – and remedy that problem.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Philip Boit was born and raised in Kenya, where it never snows except on the very top of Mount Kenya. Yet he represented his country in the cross-country skiing events at the Winter Olympics in 2002 and 2006. How did he do it? He trained up north in snowy Finland. Meanwhile, Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong competed for Ghana in the slalom in the 2010 Winter Olympics. Since there was no snow in his homeland, he practiced his skills in the French Alps. These two are your role models for the coming months, Cancerian. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’ll have the potential to achieve success in tasks and activities that may not seem like a natural fit.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) - In the process of casting for his movie “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” director David Fincher considered selecting A-list actress Scarlet Johansson to play the heroine. But ultimately he decided she was too sexy and radiant. He wanted a pale, thin, tougher-looking actress, whom he found in Rooney Mara. I suspect that in a somewhat similar way, you may be perceived as being too much something for a role you would actually perform quite well.

But in my astrological opinion, you’re not at all too much. In fact, you’re just right. Is there anything you can do – with full integrity – to adjust how people see you and understand you without diluting your brightness and strength?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In 1993, an English gardener named Eric Lawes used his metal detector to look for a hammer that his farmer friend had lost in a field. Instead of the hammer, he found the unexpected: a buried box containing 15,234 old Roman silver and gold worth more than $4 million today. I bring this to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect that you, too, will soon discover something different from what you’re searching for. Like the treasure Lawes located, it might even be more valuable than what you thought you wanted.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover,” wrote author James Baldwin. “If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” To fully endorse that statement, I’d need to add two adverbs. My version would be, “The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to kindly and compassionately make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I recommend that you Libras enthusiastically adopt that mission during the coming weeks. With tenderness and care, help those you care about to become aware of what they’ve been missing – and ask for the same from them toward you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) For thousands of generations, our early ancestors were able to get some of the food they needed through a practice known as persistence hunting. They usually couldn’t run as fast as the animals they chased. But they had a distinct advantage: they could keep moving relentlessly until their prey grew exhausted. In part that’s because they had far less hair than the animals, and thus could cool off better. I propose that we adopt this theme as a metaphor for your life in the coming weeks and months. You won’t need to be extra fast or super ferocious or impossibly clever to get what you want. All you have to do is be persistent and dogged and disciplined.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21) - Wompsi’kuk Skeesucks Brooke is a Native American woman of the Mohegan tribe. According to her description of Mohegan naming traditions, and reported by author Elisabeth Pearson Waugaman, “Children receive names that are descriptive. They may be given new names at adolescence, and again as they go through life according to what their life experiences and accomplishments are.” She concludes that names “change as the individual changes.” If you have been thinking about transforming the way you express and present yourself, you might want to consider such a shift.

2019 will be a favorable time to at least add a new nickname or title. And I suspect you’ll have maximum inspiration to do so in the coming weeks.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - For many of us, smell is our most neglected sense. We see, hear, taste and feel with vividness and eagerness but allow our olfactory powers to go underused. In accordance with astrological omens, I hope you will compensate for that dearth in the coming weeks. There is subtle information you can obtain – and in my opinion, need quite strongly – that will come your way only with the help of your nose. Trust the guidance provided by scent.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) - Essayist Nassim Nicholas Taleb says humans come in three types: fragile, robust or antifragile. Those who are fragile work hard to shield themselves from life’s messiness. The downside? They are deprived of experiences that might spur them to grow smarter. As for robust people, Taleb believes they are firm in the face of messiness. They remain who they are even when they’re disrupted. The potential problem? They may be too strong to surrender to necessary transformations. If you’re the third type, antifragile, you engage with the messiness and use it as motivation to become more creative and resilient. The downside? None. In accordance with the astrological omens, Aquarius, I urge you to adopt the antifragile approach in the coming weeks.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) - In 2014, NASA managed to place its MAVEN spacecraft into orbit around Mars. The cost of the mission was $671 million. Soon thereafter, the Indian government put its own vehicle, the Mangalyaan, into orbit around the Red Planet.

It spent $74 million. As you plan your own big project, Pisces, I recommend you emulate the Mangalyaan rather than the MAVEN. I suspect you can do great things – maybe even your personal equivalent of sending a spacecraft to Mars – on a relatively modest budget.

telegraph

March 21, 2019 n 21

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish please call ahead: 259-0133.

HelpWanted

Services

Contract Massage Therapist Busy physical therapy office seeking a contract massage therapist. Please email resume and references to frontdesk@advantageptwellness.com.

Lost/Found Ring of Four Gold Keys Lost awhile ago, way before the snow.

937-271-9633

Announcements Spring Hula Ho’ike Hawaiian hula dance presentation by Durango Hula Ohana. Friday March 22, 7pm. Smiley Building, 24. One item for food bank & donations welcome. www.

AnandaFoleyStudio.com 970-403-5402.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Wanted Ecopreneurs Home business helping others improve drinking, shower & garden water quality: multipureusa.com/ltallent Small Electric Wizard To repair lamp, table fan that have both mysteriously stopped working and/or has a short. Would rather fix than trash. 970-749-2595.

Turn Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. Into Cash! at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

22 n March 21, 2019

Bird’s Is Now Hiring!

Accepting resumes for all positions!

Come join our award-winning team. Resumes to lisa@peakfnb.com Doggy Day Care Attendant and/or retail associate needed. Year round position. Pay DOE, 6 month bonus. Email resume to info@healthyhoundsandfatcats.com or bring it in to 21738 Hwy 160 West, Durango.

6th Street Liquors Hiring PT Evening/day shifts avail. Bring in resume, current ref., ask Jason or Gin for interview Mon-Fri. Exp. preferred, but willing to train right person.

Reruns – Sales Associate High energy person needed to start in April. Approximately 30hrs/week. Stop by and drop off a resume. 572 E. 6th Ave.

Classes/Workshops Tame Your Inner Critic and …

Tame Your Inner Critic and Find Peace and Balance: Mindful Self-Compassion Date: 8 Wednesdays: 4/3 - 5/22 Time: 5:30 - 8pm The Smiley Building, #105 sliding scale fee- $250 - $350 - payment plan available. Register by e-mail - MyahMindfulness@gmail.com or by phone970-946-5379. Myoung Lee, Certified Mindfulness Teacher Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

telegraph

Spring Break Spray Tans Organic & beautiful. Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199.

Wedding Officiant for Hire Life cycle celebrant available to design ceremony for any of life’s rites of passage and to officiate weddings. www. fourtrees.live. tara@fourtrees.live Marketing Small and Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Email jnderge@ gmail.com Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192.

HaikuMovieReview ‘Struggle: The Life & Lost Art of Szukalski’ Fascinating look at the life of a vile yet talented artist – Lainie Maxson

ForRent Trailer for Rent.

N. Durango near river. $800 /mo call 970-560-8753 for a showing.

Studio Apartment In Town Affordable rent for right person who will love my dog, be strong enough to lift/care for him, and must be home or available as needed. Specula1@gmail.com.

ForSale Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advanced ductcleaninginc.com

BodyWork Massage by Meg Bush, LMT 30, 60 & 90 min 970-759-0199.

2 Light-Colored Wood Dressers Good shape. Call for info 970-7597543.

Rossignol Soul 7 Skis 163 cm, 106 cm under foot. Red and black 2014s. Drilled twice but skied minimally. They’re hole-y but will still work for the right person/set up. $50 OBO. Text for pics: 970-749-2495.

massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 2018.

Couples, sauna, outdoor shower, cupping. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-9032984.

Massage with Kathryn 20+ years experience offering a fusion of esalen style, deep tissue massage with therapeutic stretching & Acutonics. New clients receive $5 off first session. To schedule appt. call 970-201-3373.

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

Vintage Accordion German-made, Royal Standard 120 bass key instrument. Includes music books & case. Needs some repairs. $350.

Refurbished models sell for $800+. Serious inquiries only, please. 970-903-0005.

Reruns Home Furnishings Winter sales in both stores! Custommade midcentury maple sideboard; side tables; lamps & coffee tables; and lots of cool art. New great stuff and daily markdowns. 572 E. 6th Ave. 385-7336.

AskRachel Interesting fact: Board, as in “room and board,” dates to the 1200s as a reference to a table. That’s not funny or anything. It’s not even that interesting. In hindsight, I probably could have figured it out on my own, without the OED. Dear Rachel, Everyone’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, so they say. Everyone but me, that is, because I completely missed turning my beer green this year. I am not sure how that happened. I walked my kid, enjoyed a quiet day on the River Trail, even ate some ice cream. No one wished me a top o’ the morning or puked on my shoes, so my recessed Irish gene wasn’t triggered. Am I officially nothing more than a lame dad now?

– Kick Me, I’m Oblivious Dear Paddy Caked, Yes, you are a lame dad. I’m actually going to argue that that’s an improvement over whatever you were before, though. Really, why do we think that turning beer green is in any way cool? The Irish have a rich, complex culture that we have boiled down to green top hats and four-leaf clovers as a way to marginalize and belittle an immigrant community for centuries now. There’s so much more there. Like, for example, green potatoes.

– Sláinte, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I had three appointments scheduled for the day last week when winter returned. Two of

them cancelled on me due to weather. I’m sorry, but we didn’t get multiple feet of snow, nor biblical flooding, nor a “Seinfeld” reunion, all of which are the only valid reasons to stay home. People around here ought to be prepared for a little snow. Right? Or am I confusing wimpy Coloradans with hardier Montanans?

– Snowed

Dear Snow Snob, I was on the roads that day you mentioned. It took me more than two hours to get from Durango to Pagosa.

I passed one gnarly looking wreck along the way. And then, I had a big ol’ compensating-for-something truck whip by me in a non-passing lane at 70 miles an hour.

I’m guessing that was you, and I hope you caught my happy salute out the window.

– Flipping the bird, Rachel

Dear Rachel, When my dad comes to stay, I unfurl the futon for him. It’s a big step up from the air mattress he used to bring. And he says it’s comfortable. My friends found this out, though, and are aghast. They all either give their parents their own beds when they come to visit, or else they never invite their parents at all. Am I really supposed to offer my own pillow top to the old man? Or won’t the futon keep him young and spry?

– Loving Child

Back on top.

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Fruit of His Loins, The board in “room and board” is supposed to refer to the food you feed your guests, not the plank you make them sleep on. Now that I think about it, though, “board” doesn’t sound appetizing at all. Here, sleep on a futon and eat a 2x4! Nothing says “thanks for siring me into this cruel and meaningless existence” like offering up a pallet to sleep on. Unless he was drunk on Guinness. Then he could sleep in the alley and not know the difference.

– Good for you, Rachel

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Issue 7 is now out!

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March 21, 2019 n 23

24 n March 21, 2019

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