Durango Telegraph - March 22, 2018

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March 22, 2018 Vol. XVII, No. 12 durangotelegraph.com

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

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D U R A N G O

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B E Y O N D

Petal Pusher:

inside

A mini iris pokes through the snow in a sure sign of spring in Durango./ Photo by Jennaye Derge

All ears

The original dirtbag

Girls gone wild

Public scoping on Bears Ears, Grand Staircase next week p9

The life and times of climbing purist Fred Beckey p11

Forum delivers inspiration for active and activist alike p14

2 n March 22, 2018

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lineup

9

4 La Vida Local

Bending an ear

BLM announces scoping for Bears Ears, Grand Staircase; bears return

by Telegraph staff writers

4 Thumbin’ It 5 Word on the Street

11

6 Retooned

Life on the edge Fred Beckey – quite possibly the greatest dirtbag who ever lived

by Luke Mehall

6-8 Soapbox 10 Mountain Town News

12-13

12-13 Day in the Life

Brushing up

Traveling painting classes help channel your inner Van Gogh photos by Jennaye Derge

16 Flash

18-19 On the Town

From squirrel suits to packrafts, Women Outdoors returns with adventure aplenty

by Joy Martin

22-23 Classifieds

Three’s a charm

The simple culinary magic of mirepoix

by Ari Levaux

boilerplate

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

20 Ask Rachel 21 Free Will Astrology

16

RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

Caddy Day

Lake Nighthorse will open to the public Sun., April 1. No – this is not a joke. At least we don’t think so. According to a press release from the City of Durango, the lake will open Saturdays and Sundays only from April 1 - May 14 for nonmotorized and nontrailered watercraft. This includes kayaks, canoes, rafts, windsurfers, sailboards, inner tubes, paddleboards and we suppose even giant inflatable Easter bunnies. Hours of operation will be from 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.

As a precursor to the mayhem, or at least a few brave polar bears, the City will host a “First to Fish” kids fishing event from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Sat., March 31, for ages 15 and younger. The free is event is limited to the first 80 vehicles.

Starting May 15, it’s high season, and Lake Nighthorse will be open every day of the week.

Day entrance is $8/vehicle or $3 if you hoof it on bike or foot. Annual car passes are $70 and available at the Durango Recreation Center or the lake entrance station beginning April 1.

The recreation operation of Lake Nighthorse is funded by the City of Durango, Bureau of Reclamation, user fees and grants. For full details, including hours of operation, permitted uses, fees, maps and regulations, visit: durangogov.org/Lake Nighthorse. Last one in is a rotten Easter egg.

#marchforourlives

Girls gone wild

ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com)

“Sorry. I brunched.”

– Local man apologizing for being slightly inebriated on a recent Sunday afternoon

17 Top Shelf

14

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com)

Ear to the ground:

thepole

RegularOccurrences

23 Haiku Movie Review

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Shan Wells, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Jennaye Derge, Jesse Anderson, Allen Best, Tracy Chamberlin, Luke Mehall and Joy Martin VIRTUAL ADDRESS: www.durangotelegraph.com

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332 Durango, CO 81302 PHONE: 970.259.0133 E-MAIL: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

REAL WORLD ADDRESS: 777 Main Ave., #214 Durango, CO 81301

MAIL DELIVERY AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: $3.50/issue, $150/year

distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

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Students, parents and other concerned citizens are taking action to protest gun violence in schools.

This Sat., March 24, marks the “March for Our Lives” international day of action with nearly 900 events planned worldwide.

Durango will be taking part in the march, to coincide with the one in Washington D.C. (thus the less-than-ideal spring break timing) starting at Durango High School at 1 p.m. The procession will then head south on Main Avenue to Rotary Park, for a rally with food, speakers and music. For info., email marchforourlivesdurango @gmail.com.

Quicksilver girl Not only is local snowboarder Brittani Coury bringing home the silver from South Korea, she’s also one of five finalists for the “Female Paralympic Athlete of the Games.”

Coury, a 31-yearold nurse by day, won the silver medal in the banked slalom in the Paralympic Games on Fri., March 16, in Pyeongchang. Fans are invited to help celebrate her win by casting their vote for her at Team USA.org/Awards.

Originally from Aztec, Coury severely broke her right ankle in a snowboarding crash at 17.

After several failed surgeries to repair the ankle and years of living in pain or on crutches, she made the decision to have her leg amputated below the knee in 2011. She began snowboarding competitively in 2016 and earned a spot on Team USA in the summer of 2017.

Voting ends April 6.

March 22, 2018 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal Taking another swing Do you know those friends who are your same age but always seem to be one step ahead in the realm of maturity and wisdom? My buddy Dave is one of those guys, and the first person I ever ventured down to Mexico with. Once after returning from travels abroad he told me, “Every time I leave the United States, I always come back grateful that I live here.”

He first told me that in the George W Bush years when we were fresh out of college. It was my belief that society was a failure, a sham. America was a warmonger, and I wanted nothing to do with its economy. In those days, I wanted nothing more out of life than to climb and live in a tent; to eat rice, beans, cheese and avocados and sip cheap beer in the nighttime. Mexico provided that in abundance.

But upon return, like Dave had predicted, I was grateful to be an American.

After a few more trips, always climbing near Monterrey, one of the biggest cities in Mexico, I was usually grateful to return home. But I also came to the realization that we could learn a thing or two from our neighbors, and vice versa.

There’s things I love about Mexico, and things that bother me about it. Same thing for Estados Unidos.

I recently returned from my seventh trip to the Monterrey area. One of the reasons I’ve visited so often is that one of my great college friends Mark lives there for half of the year. We went there together in 2006 – it was Mark’s first time in Mexico and he didn’t speak a word of Spanish. He stood out like a sore thumb, a tall blondie, a guero with big ole bugged out blue eyes.

Flash forward to 2018, Mark is married to a Mexican woman named Norma and they have a 4-year-old daughter named Isabella. The story in between those 12 years is one that I don’t have the space for. But Mark fell in love, learned Spanish and made Monterrey his home for the winter months.

I failed in my rejection of society – stupid Barack Obama made me believe in America again – and as an adult, my lifestyle is relatively mainstream middle class, Durango style anyway.

For my Republican readers, if I actually have any other than my father, I’m being sarcastic. I did truly appreciate Obama but by the time he was president, I desired some upward mobility and had grown to appreciate things like a reliable vehicle, a good hot shower, and a comfortable place to rest my head at night. In short, I became a capitalist, not a very good one, but one all the same.

And when Obama was president, at least in the early years, I was broke as hell, and the economy was flailing and failing. Once, when I first moved to Durango, a restaurant where I was applying for a job asked me for a resume – for a dishwashing position! When you’re broke and unemployed, it doesn’t matter who the damned president is, you’re just thinking about your next meal. I didn’t even get that dishwashing gig, despite the fact that I’m the best dishwasher this side of the Mississippi.

Anyhoo, what I love about Mexico, at least this area, is its slow pace of life; no one seems to be in much of a hurry about anything. In the rural areas where we climb, people smile and wave. Taco stands appear out of nowhere. The great art of doing next to nothing is valued and executed. Life seems to be appreciated for what it is.

People are also executed here. Just a few years ago, 17 people from (and affiliated with) the band Kombo Kolombia were beheaded and dumped into a well. Was there justice brought forth? Of course not, this is Mexico we’re talking about; the cartels run the country, not the government. (Google Kombo Kolombia to see what I’m talking about.)

One of Mark’s friends, Joel, has been advocating for climbing access for El Diente, a world-class limestone zone in Mexico. The area is right next to a ritzy neighborhood. (While there’s millions of poor people in Monterrey, there’s also a small percentage of very wealthy people there.) Joel and Mark have been stopped from climbing there by armed guards (the police). While Joel has done his research and determined that the land is public, the area is still closed off from climbing because people with money and power want it that way. And unlike the United States where we have groups like the Access Fund, Joel has very little resources or precedent for this fight. He’s also feared for his life as he fights simply for access to public lands.

In these Trump years, I’ve had another existential crisis about our home country. I’ve accepted and studied the conditions that allowed him to rise to power. I’ve also been more motivated to get involved socially and politically, in my own small way. And I know I’m one of the millions of Americans on which Trump has had this effect.

And lo and behold, that is what makes America great.

We can peacefully assemble and organize and create change. Sure our government is corrupt, but we do have something that at least resembles a democracy. To Mexico’s credit, Americans are the ones consuming all those drugs that make their cartels so strong.

I guess I just opened up a can of worms (where does that phrase come from anyway?) that can’t easily be resolved. But in the Trump era, it’s good to travel abroad and see the world for yourself. People are good and bad everywhere.

Plus, one of the best parts about Mexico is that I didn’t see one damned Trump bumper sticker. However, I did manage to pick up a Trump piñata for a few hundred pesos, and finally I’ll have a little something to take my anger out on – although I was interrogated by Border Patrol agents upon my return.

And when I take that first swing, I’ll finally have something from Mexico, in America, that makes both countries great.

– Luke Mehall Luke Mehall is the author of American Climber and the publisher of The Climbing Zine. He can be contacted at luke@climbingzine.com.

Thumbin’It Local snowboarder Brittany Coury taking home silver in the banked slalom during last week’s Paralympic Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea La Plata and Archuleta counties being ranked among the top 20 healthiest counties in the state according to a newly released study by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the nation’s largest philanthropic public health organization Signs of a robust state economy, with hundreds of millions of extra tax dollars forecast to flow into Colorado's coffers this year for education, state pensions, roads and highways, and reserves

4 n March 22, 2018

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall: Calls to help stop mass shootings falling on deaf ears, with Republicans in the State Legislature voting against a ban on bump stocks like the one used in the Las Vegas shooting Revelations this week that up to 50 million Facebook users had their personal information used without their consent or knowledge by Cambridge Analytica in an effort to influence the presidential election What appears to be a new scourge of copy cat crimes, with school shootings taking place almost daily and bomb threats being called into local hotels

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dump•ster fire: noun The best way to track our progression as a nation is to look at the words added to Webster’s Dictionary. Like back in 2012 when that catchy “Call Me Maybe” song by Carly Rae Jepsen came out, they added “earworm” to the dictionary, and in 2000, “google” officially became a word. But this year, Webster’s added “dumpster fire,” which means “a chaotic or disastrously mishandled situation.” I wonder why.

WordontheStreet

Q

With March Madness heating up, the Telegraph asked: “What makes you mad?”

“When you’re mobb’n with the homies and you can’t blow clouds because you forget your vape, dawg.”

Carl Magliocchetti

Faith Gerres

“Wafflers – people who flake on you.”

“Unskipable YouTube ads.”

“That my bones aren’t hollow, and I cannot fly.”

Corky Shallowgrip

“Mustaches.

I feel like I’m surrounded by pedophiles.”

Trevor Jech

Trent Swisher

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March 22, 2018 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Kochs’ web of toxic corruption To the editor, After a 39-year hiatus, I recently​retired to my native state of Colorado and town of origin, Durango. The commitment to improving an already spectacular area​while living the outdoor Colorado life were prominent reasons for my return. And now I find that the endlessly greedy and power hungry Koch brothers are threatening those very qualities.

The Kochs are crafty in their determination to bend the government at every level to their will. The tax scam that reduces their personal tax bill by over $1 billion annually (while my tiny gain has already been wiped out by the corresponding rise in interest rates on credit cards) is only their latest national triumph. At the Colorado state level, their primary vehicle is their advocacy group Americans for Prosperity. This 501(c)(4) is registered as a nonprofit social welfare organization and may not endorse or oppose candidates – but apparently, recalling candidates who promote clean, breathable air under the ruse of false statistics and distorted charges is OK. Opponents charge Gwen Lachelt with poor attendance, which the record flat disproves. They charge her with ethics violations when they have been vetted and found not to be real. And further, they charge her with trying to impose a land use code without public comment when, in fact, those public hearings are now ongoing. Further, Lachelt is term limited. In short, there is no substance whatsoever to their charges.

What bothers the brothers of course​is Lachelt’s commitment to cleaning up the methane that has turned the Four Corners area into one of the nation’s hot spots. The Kochs have been fighting any efforts to clean up the toxic global-warming gas on a national level and have Rep. Tipton and Sen. Gardner doing their bidding to4

6 n March 22, 2018

poison La Plata County to garner ever more profit for themselves. But they want no opposition from La Plata County, so they have targeted Lachelt. They want La Plata County to just be more of a cash machine for their business of pollution – and hence attack the very quality

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of life and political independence that prompted me to return after so many years.

So when you are accosted in the Wal-mart parking lot or elsewhere by folks with their sheet of falsehoods and distortions asking for your signature, please don’t sign.

Keep La Plata County independent of those who aim to add it to their web of literally toxic corruption. Keep La Plata County free of the brothers from Kansas and do not sign the recall petition.

– Stephen Bisbee, Durango

Blame your president, not Shan To the editor, In response to Shelly Perlmutter’s letter regarding Shan Wells … Mr. Perlmutter, golf is “totally understandable” as a tool for relaxation and escape from the stresses of governing for Trump, Obama and any other golfer, but to equate Trump and Obama is an insult to any decent, moral, thinking human being.

Shan Wells is no hypocrite! He supports human rights, the Constitution of the United States and the right to pursue liberty and happiness for ALL men and women! If your president behaved in the manner we became accustomed to when Obama held the office, Shan would have undoubtedly remained silent about his golf game.

Please don’t preach to the rest of us when you have chosen to support the most immoral man ever to occupy the Oval Office. And, yes, Telegraph, thank you for employing the insightful and very smart and witty Shan Wells!

– Sharon Krinsky, Bayfield

A heartfelt thank you to Durango To the editor, Wow … we are so grateful Durango is our home.

Thank you to our friends and community members who joined us at the Durango Arts Center to view David Byers’ award-winning film, “No Man’s Land.” Huge thanks to the many individuals and businesses who donated items for the silent auction to raise funds for our legal battle in San Juan County, Utah.

Special thanks to Shelley Silbert, Clint and Susan Kearns, Nick and Louise Van Vonno, Darcy Mathews, Jim

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Fuge, Peggy Malloy, and the staff at the Durango Arts Center for their part in making our evening a success.

For additional information on our legal plight or to make a donation, please visit: http://bit.ly/RoseMark Thank you Durango … you rock!

– Mark Franklin and Rose Chilcoat, Durango

Tri-State all about sharing the load To the editor, Your article (“Renewed Energy,” March 8, 2018) didn’t include the perspective of Tri-State Generation and Transmission Association, and it is important that we share our view with your readers.

Our association, which is a member-owned, membergoverned, not-for-profit cooperative, values and respects each of our members and your communities, and we support renewable energy development at the utility scale and locally with our members. The facts speak for themselves: • Thirty percent of the energy consumed in our co-op family comes from renewable energy • Tri-State is the top solar generation and transmission cooperative in the nation • Twenty-two of our members have 143 megawatts of local distributed and renewable energy projects in place or under development We’re proud of what our association has achieved with our members. However, some in the community distort the issues around local renewable energy development.

It’s important to know our association was one of the first G&Ts in the country to support local renewable energy development, and for many years, when renewable resources were significantly more expensive, we offered generous financial incentives to support local projects.

Today, our renewable energy work with our members is among the most successful in our industry.

Tri-State does not limit the local development of renewable resources. Renewable energy developers have many options and can sell power to their local coopera-

tive, to Tri-State or to any other party they choose.

Each member of our association voluntarily agreed with the other members to equitably share the benefits and costs of the association. To ensure that each member honored their agreement to pay their fair share of the association’s costs, members agreed to not self-supply power in excess of five percent of their load. Our members themselves determined that self-generation above five percent by one member would force other members to pay higher rates in order for the association to recover fixed costs.

In addition, our association recognized that members and their communities could desire renewable projects in excess of the five percent self-supply provision. To help provide a buyer for these projects, our members put in place a provision for Tri-State to buy power at a negotiated rate. If a proposed project’s costs would require a subsidy, the member or community involved in the project would subsidize the costs, and not the association’s other members.

In the spirit of our members agreement to equitably share costs with each other, our association, supported by our members, proactively asked the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) to review a fixed cost charge.

This would ensure, even if a member self-supplied power in excess of the five percent provision they agreed to, that the member would still pay their fair share of the association’s costs. This is not unique; currently two other Colorado utilities have a similar issue before the FERC. Our association was created by our members to deliver a reliable, cost-based supply of power. To meet our memmembers’ needs in a complex and dynamic industry, TriState serves our members with a diverse resource portfolio, robust transmission network and a wide range of services and benefits, and we are proud to be part of the cooperative family that serves your communities.

– Lee Boughey, communications and public affairs, Tri-State Generation and Transmission Association, Inc.

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March 22, 2018 n 7

SoapBox from p. 7

Trump’s tip rule cheats workers To the editor, The bloated Cheeto-tinged “dear leader” in the dyed ducktail, living in our “dump” of a White House, with the aid of his corrupt labor secretary, Alexander Acosta, has created a new tipped employee rule. It will cost people billions in earning annually.

For years, customers of bars and restaurants have given tips not for good service only but to assist low-wage employees’ incomes. The owners of these businesses have refused for decades to provide a fair living wage. When Trump became a candidate, the powerful restaurant lobby supported him to the hilt. Trump is now rewarding them with a new “rule” allowing owners to legally keep employees’ tips. Some businesses have been quietly doing this for years. Now our government will condone this crime.

U.S. Labor Department employees analyzed how devastating this rule would be to tipped employees, but Trump and Acosta refused to make public this report. But somehow, this report was leaked to the press. The Inspector General is now investigating.

If you pay for your meal or bar tab with a credit card, it is best to pay cash directly to the server for the tip part of your bill. Many establishments deduct a percentage of the credit card service charge from the tip to the employee.

If you are charged a gratuity or mandatory service charge for a large group – or even room service – it is common for the server to never see a dime of this charge.

To truly support the people who wait on you, ask the manager when you dine out if they support Trump’s new rule. Ask if their staff gets all of their tips. See the response you get.

– Susan Troen, Durango

8 n March 22, 2018

Moving rural education forward To the editor, Not much is as fulfilling as a classroom of first-graders giggling as they tell you how they want to change the world: Be nice. Listen to others. Lots of ice cream. More recess. It’s hard to argue with their reasoning.

This year, I spent a day at each of the 15 public elementary schools in the nine school districts I represent. I wanted to see what is happening in those buildings.

What are the students learning? Are they being challenged? What do the teachers, administrators, parents, aides and school board members think about the state of education in Colorado?

It’s good news. Students are writing and decoding.

They’re exploring and questioning. Work sheets are rare, and teachers are giving time for students to learn by doing, using projects, group discussions, and manipulatives.

Rarely did I see students sitting in straight rows with a teacher at the front of the class; teachers are moving throughout the room, congratulating and correcting.

They are working long hours designing lessons, creating inviting spaces for learning, and working out ways to help struggling students.

At cursory glance, everything in each school, though different, did not indicate glaring problems. But they can always be better, and the educator shortage bill I passed last year can help.

Using the action plan presented by the Department of Higher Education, state representatives are crafting bills to address the identified needs. Knowing the schools and teachers and kids has given me good insight into where I go next.

I am presenting a “Grow Your Own” bill to encourage students from rural areas to return to their home towns to work. Grants will help them afford that last year of student teaching when they can’t work another job, as long as they stay in the district for three years.

Other bills focus on rural classrooms. A bill I co-spon-

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sored continues a program financing AP classes in rural districts, giving students equal opportunity for the challenging classes and college credits their urban counterparts enjoy. It passed through the House Education Committee.

A third bill addresses the educator shortage in hard-tofill areas, such as special service providers and special education or math, by offering loan forgiveness.

A fourth bill in the works offers to complete the promise the Legislature made to the state in the early 2000s, to fund full-day kindergarten.

Two groups are looking at school funding, state superintendents and a committee of bipartisan senators and representatives. They both address inequities and teacher pay. We will all have to see what bills they present from their research.

A final bill addressed suicide prevention help in school; it failed in the Senate.

The first- and second-graders I met should have the chance to make the world a better place, as they imagine they will. Giving them opportunity, good teachers and solid academics within a well-rounded curriculum helps move that vision forward.

– Rep. Barbara McLachlan, D-Durango

“We’ll print damned-near anything” The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We offer this forum to the public to settle differences, air opinions & undertake healthy discourse. We have only three requests: limit letters to 750 words, letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome.

All attempts are made to run letters in a timely and orderly fashion. Sometimes high volume dictates your letter may not run the week it was received. Send your confoundities to: PO Box 332, Durango, 81302; or e-mail your profundities to: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com.

Let the games begin ...

Quick’n’Dirty Bears out and about in Durango It’s happening earlier and earlier every year. At the start of the new millennium, the black bears living around Durango typically started emerging from their winter dens around mid-April. Today, bears are coming out of hibernation in mid-March.

Wildlife officials from around the Southwest have been noticing the trend for years. “When we first started tracking this (around 2000), the earliest reports were mid-April,” Bryan Peterson, executive director or Bear Smart Durango, said.

Over the past decade and a half, bears have been entering their dens later and coming out earlier. With the climate in Colorado expected to get warmer in the years ahead, Peterson added, it’s likely the trend will continue.

When a bear’s hibernation is shorter it not only throws off the timing when it comes to food availability, it can expose them to more human/bear conflicts.

Most female bears were in their dens by the fall of 2017, but many male bears stayed out until late in the season, including one young male who was spotted throughout the winter months, apparently skipping sleep altogether.

Because of the late feeding frenzy and constant sightings, the Durango City Council decided to enact an emergency ordinance, increasing the fine for leaving trash out and unsecured. Under the new ordinance, residents no longer got an initial warning if they failed to comply with the city’s regulations on trash and wildlife.

What they did get was a $100 ticket for the first offense and $200 ticket for any additional offenses.

Last month, the Council decided to keep the ordinance in place for good and begin a new program to distribute bear-resistant trash cans to city residents living in hot-spot areas. Following the Council meeting Tuesday night, another piece was added. Residents who are caught with trash tossed about by wildlife will now be required to purchase a self-locking trash can at a cost of $100 for the initial delivery fee, and $4 per month until the $220 cost of the can is paid off.

Wildlife researchers have found that bear-resistant containers make a big difference, even cutting the number of conflicts in half in neighborhoods that have – and use – bear-resistant cans properly. “There’s plenty more to do, but those are huge first steps,” Peterson said.

Besides making sure trash is secured either inside the home or in a bear-resistant container, Peterson said removing birdfeeders or making them inaccessible to bears is another way to be Bear Smart.

Birdfeeders can often be a gateway to human food. Once a bear finds it, they’ll start to feel more comfortable being around humans and their homes. The next time they look for human food, it could be a little closer to home.

Last year, there were 1,486 bear sightings and incidents reported in the area and 985 of those involved trash. Also, of the 36 bears that were killed in La Plata County, 17 involved bears inside homes or attempting to break into homes.

Peterson recommended residents remove any food or trash from vehicles, and keep doors and windows closed and locked whether it’s the car, home or garage. For more tips and preventative measures, go to bearsmartdurango.org.

– Tracy Chamberlin

Monument scoping next week in Utah Here’s one more reason to head to the desert over spring break next week – the BLM has announced it will be holding public scoping meetings on southern Utah’s two newly shrunken national monuments. But you better hurry. There will only be four meetings – two for Bear’s Ears and two for Grand Staircase Escalante.

The BLM is developing two new environmental impact statements for the downsized Bears’ Ears, which is being divvied up into the so-called Indian Creek unit to the north and Shash Jaa, Navajo for “Bears Ears,” to the south.

Three new EIS’ are being drawn up for the GSENM, which will now be parceled into three smaller monuments – Grand Staircase, Escalante and Kaiparowits Plateau. A separate EIS will also be drawn up for the areas removed from the original monument and not included in the new monument boundaries.

The meetings will take place at the following times and locations: Bears Ears National Monument • Mon., March 26, 4:30 – 8 p.m., San Juan High School, 311 N.

The BLM is holding public scoping meetings next week in Bluff and Blanding, Utah, for the two smaller monuments meant to replace Bears Ears: Shash Jaa and Indian Creek.

Meetings will also be held in Kanab and Escalante for the three smaller monuments carved from Grand Staircase Escalante./Photo by Jennaye Derge 100 E., Blanding, Utah • Tues., March 27, 4:30 - 8 p.m., Bluff Comm. Center, 3rd E. and Mulberry Bluff Rd., Bluff, Utah Grand Staircase/Escalante National Monument • Wed., March 28, 4:30 - 8 p.m., Kanab Middle School, 690 S. Cowboy Way, Kanab, Utah • Thurs., March 29, 4:30 - 8 p.m., Canyon Country Lodge, 760 E. Hwy. 12, Escalante, Utah The two planning areas cover about 2.1 million acres of federal land in Garfield, Kane and San Juan counties.

“The public is encouraged to help identify any issues, management questions or concerns that should be addressed in the planning processes,” read a statement from the BLM. “The comments will be used to help set the parameters, or scope, of the review of the land use plans. The public scoping meetings provide the public an opportunity to talk to resource specialists and submit written comments in person.”

The meetings are taking place despite lawsuits to stop the redrawing of the monuments’ boundaries by various tribes and environmental organizations. Opponents are also decrying the lack of opportunity for public input –15 meetings were held in seven states for GSENM whereas Bears Ears entailed a months-long collaborative effort between tribes, government leaders and non-tribal entities.

On Dec. 4, 2017, President Trump reduced the 1.9 million-acre GSENM by 800,000 acres into: the 211,983-acre Grand Staircase; the 551,117-acre Kaiparowits; and the 243,241-acre Escalante Canyons.

In addition, the 1.3-million-acre Bears Ears was slashed by 1.1 million acres, into the 142,337-acre Shash Jaa and 86,447-acre Indian Creek monuments. The much-smaller Bears Ears will cover the Superbowl and Cat Wall areas to the north, and Comb Ridge, Arch and Mule canyons, and Moon House and Doll House ruins to the south.

Among the 1.15 million acres removed from Bears Ears are Cedar Mesa, Dark Canyon, Elk Ridge, Mancos Mesa and Valley of the Gods. Those areas will revert to being managed under resource management plans for the BLM Monticello Field Office and Manti-La Sal National Forest Lands removed from the GSENM include hundreds of miles of roads that were previously closed to motorized use, as well as rich coal and oil deposits and major dinosaur discoveries.

• Comments for Bears Ears can also be made directly through: the BLM’s ePlanning page at https://goo.gl/uLrEae; mailed to P.O. Box 7 Monticello, UT 84535; or emailed to blm_ut_monticello_ monuments@blm.gov. Comments must be received by April 11.

• Comments on the GSENM can be submitted through the project ePlanning page at https://goo.gl/EHvhbc; mailed to 669 S Hwy 89A Kanab, UT 84741; or emailed to BLM_UT_CCD_monuments @blm.gov. Comments for GSENM must be received by April 13.

– Missy Votel

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March 22, 2018 n

9

MountainTownNews Winter of just-in-time snowstorms

If November crowds came in April

SOUTH FORK – It was snowing this past week at Wolf Creek, the ski area that most years boasts Colorado’s biggest snowpack. This year has not been among them.

“This year it has been just quirky,” chief executive and general manager Davey Pitcher said last Friday, as snow fell lightly. “It snows a little, then it dries up again.”

The Pitcher family has owned the ski area since 1976, enough time to see both good and bad. That first year was among the worst. It got bitterly cold, but there was no snow until Jan. 22. That year produced the realization among Colorado ski areas that it was time to stop making fun of Eastern ski areas and their snowmaking equipment and invest in snow guns, he says. The 1980-81 winter also was a sharp reminder.

But the 1998-99 winter burns in Pitcher’s memory. “We only received 13 inches until Jan. 1. In some ways, it was worse even than this year. But then it started snowing, and we ended up with 300 inches that winter,” he says.

Storms have been so rare this winter they have been named by Wolf Creek staffers. One was called the Just-inTime Storm, another the Thank-Goodness Storm, and then the OK Storm just before the Martin Luther King weekend.

Wolf Creek didn’t invest in snowmaking until the late ‘90s, & even now only 5 acres at the base can be covered. Before Christmas, crews resorted to using 35-gallon trash cans, scooping up 7,000 loads of snow to dump onto the ski runs.

Also notable about this winter’s weather has been the warmth. The first snows arrived heavy with water, providing a base across the ski area much like manufactured snow.

Then the temperature warmed. “There’s an awful lot of evaporation and sublimation,” he says.

Looking to a hillside across the highway from his ski area, Pitcher observed that it was bare. Most years it’s a favorite backcountry ski slope.

TELLURIDE – Telluride plans to open at Thanksgiving again next winter after all. The Daily Planet reports that the ski company had announced an opening Dec. 1.

Given how often there’s just not very good snow for Thanksgiving, a later date makes sense. But Matthew Windt, spokesman for the ski area, tells the Planet that Telluride Lodging Association was particularly persuasive in advocating for the early opening.

The flip side of opening early and not having snow is then having to delay opening. That happened this winter.

Regardless of when Telluride opens, the lifts will close the first Sunday in April, says Bill Jensen, the chief executive of Telluride Ski & Golf. It’s almost never for lack of snow. Instead, destination skiers become rare then, and Telluride’s isolation from major cities precludes the diehards such as those that keep places like A Basin operating into T-shirt season.

10 n March 22, 2018

Will train end its ski country trek?

TRUCKEE, Calif. – People don’t travel by train so much anymore. As such, gone are the days when people like Averill Harriman created Sun Valley as a way to produce more passengers for his Union Pacific trains.

But a small number of people still do prefer trains, and some of them go to ski areas. Whether they will be able to continue to do so is in question. The Trump administration wants to cut Amtrak funding nearly in a half, from $1.4 billion to $738 million. The administration make the argument – as have other officials in past Republican administrations – that towns, cities and states should shoulder more of the financial burden of keeping routes in service.

In question are not the short-haul Amtrak routes, most of which are located in the heavily populated Northeast – but long-haul routes, such as the California Zephyr.

The Zephyr leaves Chicago in the evening and arrives

telegraph

in Denver for breakfast before rising into the Rockies, emerging from the Moffat Tunnel within a football field of the ski slopes at Winter Park. Then it’s on to Granby, once the self-proclaimed “Dude Ranch Capital of Colorado” and still a portal to Rocky Mountain National Park, and then down the Colorado River to Glenwood Springs.

Beyond lie Salt Lake City & Truckee, where the depot sees 14,000 passenger arrivals & departures annually. That works out to about 20 per day each way, east and west. The Truckee Town Council agreed to file a letter of support for continued funding for the California Zephyr, reports the Truckee Sun. Defenders of Amtrak’s long-haul routes say critics have manipulated financial numbers to make the short-haul routes look more profitable than they really are and the long-haul routes less so. They also point out that all forms of transportation in the United States are subsidized.

Evaluating potential for ski union WHISTLER, B.C. – A unionization effort by a small group of ski instructors at Whistler Blackcomb is under way. But a professor of labor economics and relations tells Pique that he sees a major challenge to the instructors.

“It’s a tough labor force to unionize because many of them are only here for short periods of time,” Craig Riddell, of the University of British Columbia, said.

Under labor laws in British Columbia, union organizers must get support from at least 50 percent of non-managerial workers in order for the union to go forward.

Riddell went on to explain that a union is like an investment. Workers willing to invest the time and effort at the beginning may have to go on strike to get the initial contract. Presumably it pays off in the future. “But if you’re only involved in that activity for a year or two, that may not be worth it.”

– Allen Best

CinemaScope

The original dirtbag Film takes fascinating look at legendary climber’s life on the crag – and the cheap

by Luke Mehall

T

here are dirtbag climbers, and then there is “The” dirtbag climber, Fred Beckey. They even made a movie about him called “Dirtbag” – and the worldwide tour will be making a stop at the Durango Arts Center this Friday.

Beckey, who died at the age of 94 last October, hailed from a generation of climbers who climbed to get away from people and society. In the process, he tallied up thousands of JusttheFacts first ascents all over the world, while What: “Dirtbag: The Legend of seemingly never holding a steady job.

Fred Beckey” Beckey began his adventures by When: 7:30 p.m., Fri., March 23 exploring the North Cascades with Where: Durango Arts Center his brother Helmy in the 1930s. In Tickets: $15 adv./$20 day of 1942, as teen-agers, the duo made the second ascent of Mount living from. O’Leske likes to believe Waddington in Canada, which was he scored his money from a famous considered the most difficult climb Canadian plane crash on Mount in North America at the time. Even Sleese, “There’s rumors that a guy today, Waddington is rarely successaboard the plane had a money belt fully climbed. and gold in his suitcase.”

These exploits are well known The odds are that Beckey was just amongst mountaineers, but somefrugal and good with money (hence thing that wasn’t as well known was the rotten can of beans). O’Leske Beckey’s ability to excel at life on the shared that Beckey never had any cheap. In fact, he once brought an excredit cards and simply lived by the pired can of rotten beans from the motto, “Don’t spend what you Waddington expedition on a later don’t have.” trip to the Devil’s Thumb in Alaska.

“Dirtbag” is being screened in Now that’s a dirtbag!

Durango thanks to the American Legendary exploits like these are Alpine Club. “When we saw the brought to the big screen, highlightfilm was on tour, we knew we had ing a quirky climbing genius, who, to get it here,” the club’s local chaireven in his 90s, would hold onto a man, Mitch Dorsk, said. “It was McDonalds coffee cup for weeks on tough, with most of their showings end, just for the free refills. in larger cities like Denver and Salt The “Dirtbag” project began in Lake City, but eventually we secured 2005 when filmmaker Dave it with our very active climbing O’Leske, of Telluride, wrote Beckey a Clockwise from top: Fred Beckey and Eric Björnstad holding a sign they found in Canyonlands back community.” hand-written letter. “I sent it off and in the day./Photo Eric Björnstad Collection. Beckey celebrating after making the first ascent of Alaska’s Beckey lived to see the premier of never expected to hear anything Mount Hunter, 1954./Courtesy photo. Beckey still getting after it at Red Rocks, Nev., 2009./Photo by “Dirtbag” at Telluride Mountainfilm back,” O’Leske noted. “I just told Dave O’Leske. last May. “We purposely never him I would love to meet him and showed him a cut of the movie beclimb with Beckey and get to know him. “I Björnstad, died before the film was released. tell his story.” forehand,” O’Leske said. “I expected nothThe filmmaker also tracked down several Beckey, who was known to be a meticu- never brought out the camera, and we ing from him, but he was absolutely lous letter writer and note taker, did get back, never talked about the film,” he noted. “I of Beckey’s girlfriends over the years. “He was mesmerized, seeing his life unfold before slowly built his trust and friendship.

He was a bit of a Casanova,” O’Leske noted.

“He and they agreed to meet up at the Alta ski rewould get all dapper and go to the opera. his eyes. He told us we did a good job.” sort in Utah. Beckey was 82 at the time. They a very humble person.”

Friedrich Wolfgang Beckey died at the Even though he was in his 80s, Beckey Women who spent a small amount of time did not exactly hit it off upon meeting. age of 94 on Oct. 30 at the home of his was still obsessed with climbing and explorwith Fred knew him better than his climbing “I saw an old man at the base of the friend, Megan Bond, in Seattle. mountain with a huge yard sale stack of ing. He had an unclimbed 19,000-foot peak partners that he’d known for years.”

“Everyone who knew him well thought Beckey purposely never got married or gear, getting ready to ski,” O’Leske noted. in China in the back of his mind, and along he would die in the mountains,” O’Leske had children, but at 83 once joked, “I “When I approached him and introduced with O’Leske they formed a team. said.

“He was super comfortable. It couldn’t “From then on, we were on the Fred should give that a try.” myself he told me ‘I’m busy leave me alone, have really been any better. One day he just Beckey train,” O’Leske said.

“Though I O’Leske saw that trait in him as one of I’ll talk to you later.’” didn’t wake up.”

After that introduction, Beckey wouldn’t never expected to, we filmed Fred for over restraint. “He was selfish, but in a way he wasn’t. He knew it wasn’t a good idea for Local dirtbags will want to save the $5 and even pick up O’Leske’s phone calls. But 10 years.”

In addition to tagging along with Beckey him to have a family.” get their tickets ahead of time at Pine Needle after a dozen voicemails, they finally conThough “Dirtbag” shows the many lay- Mountaineering, Backcountry Experience or the nected over coffee. Although he had pio- while he climbed and mountaineered, neered climbs for several generations, sometimes failing gloriously, O’Leske and ers and climbs of Beckey, some things – like Durango Arts Center for $15. Tickets at the Beckey didn’t think he was worthy of a doc- his team compiled interviews with the most how he earned his living – is still a mystery. door will be $20. Doors open at 6:30 and show umentary. “Why would anyone want to see important figures of American climbing’s Beckey never held a steady job, and al- time is 7:30 p.m. The first 50 people to show golden age. Several of these climbers, such though he published over a dozen books, up will receive swag from the AAC and The a movie about me?” he asked.

O’Leske took the entire next year to as Layton Kor, Royal Robbins and Eric those royalties were never enough to earn a Climbing Zine. n

telegraph

March 22, 2018 n 11

dayinthelife

Different strokes

by Jennaye Derge

W

e can all thank Bob Ross for pla an artist seed into our hearts happy trees and clouds inspired m art lovers, and now in Durango, we can lea dab away with paint on canvases just like did. “Picasso and Vino� provides traveling p ing classes around Durango and Pagosa Spr The classes, such as this one held at the Dur Arts Center last Sunday, are taught by gue instructors and are offered at various venu for private parties as well. So whether you modern day Van Gogh or only have exper in finger painting, with a canvas, paintbrush a little wine, everyone's trees, birds and cl can be happy. For more information and schedules, go to www.picassoandvino.com

Art instructor Jada Roberts offers somea pro painting hacks.

12

n March 22, 2018

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Moons are the first to appear on the scenic canvases.

The classes make for great dates or GNOs.

The humble beginning of a mountain.

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Natalie Thomas brings out her inner Picasso at the Durango Arts Center on Sunday.

March 22, 2018 n 13

thesecondsectio Pro climber, BASE-jumper, wingsuit flyer and larger-than-life adventurer Steph Davis, above, shares insights into veganism, grieving, living fearlessly and the importance of uncovering all sides of environmental issues when she speaks Thurs., March 29./Courtesy photo

Hope floats ... and flies Adventure Forum offers inspiration for the active and the activist

by Joy Martin

L

ow river flows got you feeling blue? Or maybe Bears Ears brings tears to your eyes? Sit down, and keep calm: the third annual Women Outside Adventure Forum is just around the corner and, with it, plenty of opportunities to step back from all the hashtags and get some fresh ideas about how to fight for public lands, polar bears and world peace.

Between Hollywood and Washington, our plates are pretty full of news that tastes of mushy peas and lowhanging, orange-tufted fruit. The WOAF, presented by Backcountry Experience, invites you to leave the dinner table and join other intelligent human beings for thought-provoking films, scintillating storytelling, locally brewed beer and perspective from a woman who flies.

While the last two years have showcased inspiring athletes, adventure writers and outdoor industry entrepreneurs, WOAF-organizer Margaret Hedderman leaned into the idea of an environmental focus this year. She loves the energy that’s sparked when you get a room full of people excited to work toward a brighter future.

“When you’re alone, you start to lose hope,” says Hedderman, marketing director for Backcountry Experience.

For the three-day soiree that takes place March 2729, Hedderman chose voices based on input from previous years as well as what’s going on at the national level. In light of those things, the theme “Wild Places

14 n March 22, 2018

Women Outside Adventure Forum • Tues., March 27: Writers Jacqueline Keeler & Krista Langlois, Powerhouse Science Center, 6 - 8 p.m.

• Wed., March 28: conservation filmmaker Jenny Nichols and ecologist Jane Zelikova, Durango Arts Center, 6-8 p.m.

• Thurs., March 29: Climber and extreme adventurer Steph Davis + panel discussion, Powerhouse Science Center, 6-8 p.m.

All events are free and open to the public. For evening events, come early to grab a drink. For more information about the WOAF, email margaret@ bcexp.com or call Backcountry Experience at 970.247.5830. and Open Spaces” evolved.

Take a moment to savor images of desert sunsets, whitewater rapids and campfire solitude. Then get excited that you won’t have to wait for the weekend to experience the call of the wild with this mid-week reprieve.

The evenings will feature speakers ranging from conservation filmmaker Jenny Nichols, to Jane Zelikova, a tropical ecologist living in the Rocky Mountains.

Navajo/Dakota writer Jacqueline Keeler brings soulful

telegraph

words about Bears Ears, while freelance journalist Krista Langlois discusses the meandering world of rivers. Finally, we’ll hear from pro climber, BASE-jumper and wingsuit flyer Steph Davis, as she shares insights into veganism, grieving and living fearlessly.

One of the primary goals of this year’s WOAF is to identify practical action that each of us can take in our everyday lives to speak up for the planet. Listeners at any of the WOAF presentations will likely hear echoes of suggestions for keeping hope afloat: go outside, pour into the next generation, get creative and unplug.

“Take those rejuvenating trips into wild places – even if it’s just a short walk with your dog,” Durangobased writer Krista Langlois says. “Remember what it is that we’re fighting for.”

And what is it that, exactly? For Rachel Landis, director of Fort Lewis College’s Environmental Center, La Plata Electric Association board member, Telluride ski patroller and co-founder of San Juan Mountain SOLES (Sisters On Leadership Expeditions), connecting with “why” you fight happens when you go outside.

You should show up to battle with that sun-kissed glow of morning dew and alpine air. Landis suggests adventuring with others for the ultimate recharge.

“Heading into the outdoors with a group of people really puts a pressure on figuring out how to work together,” she says. “You pick up tools to work with lots of different skill sets and backgrounds and perspectives.”4

Landis brings this option to high school girls through her nonprofit, SOLES, which is the chief beneficiary of the WOAF. She founded SOLES in 2014 with local high school teacher, Ashley Carruth.

Landis says unstructured time spent learning leadership skills in the wilderness is exactly what young women need to confront the inevitable trials of adulthood just around the corner. After trips, the girls get together to share how the trips have impacted their confidence at school, in sports and life in general.

“I’ve watched how many road blocks I put up in my early years, troubled to the point of paralysis,” recalls Landis. “To blast through that before they launch into young adulthood ... and then to have tools to deal with that ... it’s powerful.”

“The natural world gives us beautiful challenges that often inspire us to do things we never thought we were capable of,” adds Davis. “Confidence comes not from knowing you know how to do X right now, but from knowing that you know how to figure out how to do X.” Based in Moab, Davis walks the talk of facing these beautiful challenges and then some. The 44-year-old has lived and breathed the road less traveled since the early 1990s when she first fell in love with climbing. Since then, she’s collected a hundred lifetimes’ worth of stories, shared chalk bags and wingsuit memories with larger-than-life legends, bounced back from tragedies and become one of the outdoor industry’s most iconic figures.

She’ll give a 45-minute presentation before joining a panel discussion on Thursday

night at the Powerhouse. One of the topics she’ll discuss is the importance of uncovering all sides of environmental issues before committing your energy to a cause.

“It’s really difficult to get thorough and non-agenda-based information, and, as a result, it’s hard to understand what the issues actually are,” says Davis. “I try to ask questions of everyone I meet about issues I’m hearing about to make sure I have as full an understanding as possible. Things are generally much more complex than can be communicated in Facebook posts or soundbites.”

Communicating the whole story and not just presenting biased facts is a top priority for freelance journalists like Langlois, a High Country News and Outside magazine correspondent. While her career might revolve around writing environmental and outdoor industry news, she says it’s just as important to unplug from the news cycle.

“Get away from the news for periods of time,” she suggests.

Landis calls this “setting informational boundaries.” These informational boundaries will help you better focus on actions at the regional level, versus worrying about what’s going on at the capitol.

“We’ve been coaching this really hard in the era of Trump,” says Landis. “You cannot do everything.”

Getting involved in the community could be as simple as plugging into a book group, donating to public places you love or joining arms with organizations like the Citizen’s Climate Lobby. Or it could be as lofty as writing books or creating films. The important thing is to make your voice

Writer Krista Langlois will talk about the world of rivers, such as her trip on the Spatsizi River in northern B.C., March 27 at the Powerhouse./Photo by Krista Langlois heard, says Boulder-based Nichols, a conservation filmmaker.

“Get the word out to larger audiences,” she advises.

For Nichols and other creatives, storytelling is the tool of choice for keeping hope afloat. On Wed., March 28, at the Durango Arts Center, Nichols will share more about her journey as a filmmaker as well as screen two of her most recent films.

Another creative at WOAF is Southwestern-born writer and Portland-based activist, Keeler. On Tuesday, Keeler will read from Edge of Morning, her compilation of essays and poems about Bears Ears written by Na-

telegraph

tive American authors. These reflections about the beloved, misunderstood land of slickrock and slot canyons are guaranteed to ignite your passion for thinking of ways that you, too, can put your talents to work for the land you love.

And, when hope starts to sink, read and re-read dear Ed Abbey’s wise words: “Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast ... a part-time crusader, a halfhearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it.

While you can. While it’s still here.” n

March 22, 2018 n 15

Flashinthepan

Slurping into springtime

by Ari LeVaux

S

pring has begun its tantalizingly slow reveal, but winter isn’t done with us yet. This means the soup can go on for a few weeks longer before it’s time to think about salads. At the winter market last week, I found carrots, onion and celery root, which were all I need to make anything into soup. These three ingredients are what you need to make mirepoix (mere-pwah), a chopped mixture of aromatic vegetables that is used as a base for many soups (and sauces).

There are many regional variations of mirepoix that go by different names and involve the occasional substitution of ingredient (leek for onion here, bell pepper for carrot there). Today, we’ll stick with the French way, which is how I learned about it. That being said this may be the closest thing to a French cooking lesson you will ever get from me.

Today I will discuss using mirepoix to enhance two easy soup recipes. Cheater’s Chicken Soup makes use of one of my favorite ingredients: rotisserie chicken. The other recipe, Haut Ramen (that’s “Top Ramen” in French, for the unfrozen cavemen in the crowd), employs mirepoix in the preparation of packaged Ramen noodle soup.

Since both recipes include the part where you have to make the mirepoix, let’s review that step. Trim and mince equal parts onion, carrot and celery (or celery root, aka celeriac). If using celery stalks, include the leaves. Cut it all into consistently sized chunks, large or small as the recipe calls for. The Haut Ramen requires a brunoise, which is French for “finely diced.” Making brunoise is a technique that’s more effectively shown than described, so check it out on YouTube.

Cheater’s Chicken Soup One cook’s value-added product is another’s raw material. Rotisserie chicken, cooked long and slowly enough

that the bones are almost spoon-tender, can make a really good soup, even if the kids eat half of it on the way home from the store, I can cheat my way into a pot of soup on just half a chicken; thanks mon mirepoix!

Ingredients: Rotisserie chicken, whole or partial (or a home-baked chicken if you have the foresight) Mirepoix (larger chunks) Tomato, canned or frozen Spicy things (optional; my preference is pickled jalapeños) Salt, soy sauce, fish sauce, garlic powder, herbs and other flavorings Olive oil or butter Gain control of the remains of the chicken, pull it into pieces, and remove the bones.

Snip the bones and tendons into small pieces with cooking scissors, and place them into a pasta basket or similar arrangement that can be submerged in boiling water, along with its contents, and can just as easily be removed from the water. One could also put the chicken skin in the pasta boiler to make the soup more oily, if that’s your thing. Heat the water and simmer the bones while you get the rest of your mise en place, which is French culinary-speak for arranging your cooking materials.

The next step is to cut the mirepoix and sauté it gently in olive oil, allowing a mild brown to develop.

While the mirepoix is browning and bones are simmering, cut or pull the chicken meat apart to the consistency you wish, and add the meat to the browning mirepoix, allowing it all to cook together for a moment.

This would be a good time to play around with herbs and spices. I like thyme, but you could go ginger/lemongrass, or my mom’s favorite: dill.

The soup can be taken in many directions at this point. Remove the pasta basket with bones inside, add the mirepoix and chicken to the pot, and place the basket of bones back in the pot. At this point, I add some frozen

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tomatoes from last summer’s stash to the basket, so the tomato skins can be removed along with the bones and skin. I also add a pickled jalapeño or two, allowing it to contribute gentle heat and acidity to the pot without getting lost and giving someone a hot surprise.

The soup will be ready as soon as the carrots are soft enough to eat. But if possible, take a little extra time and let everything cook together for an hour or so. As it cooks, tweak the seasonings as necessary: a little salt here, a bit of garlic powder there, a lil’ soy sauce, a squirt of fish sauce, squeeze of lime, until it tastes right. Then drop a dollop of mayo on that masterpiece, and you’ve got some evidence in hand that sometimes cheaters do win.

Haut Ramen While it’s true that a good mirepoix elevates the ingredients around it, there’s no reason to literally use Top Ramen brand when there are others to be had, like Sapporo Ichiban, or pretty much any other random brand you might find, that will be better in quality. And if you’re up to a challenge, start with mirepoix and add what you need to make a broth that’s yummy enough that you can skip the flavor packet. Save that packet for a rainy day; you never know when you might want a blast of savory flavor.

Ingredients: One package ramen (preferably the good stuff) One cup mirepoix, equal parts carrot, celery and onion, chopped into brunoise Sesame oil Seaweed (a ripped-up sheet of nori, or furikake seasoning) Egg (optional) Heat the water. Add brunoise mirepoix and flavor packet. When the water returns to a boil, add the noodles. When the noodles are done, add your egg, if using. Wait a moment, then turn off the heat. Leave the egg whole, or give it a minimal stir with a fork, depending on how you like your yolk, then put the lid on for 2 minutes or so. Remove the lid. If egg is done to your liking, sprinkle with seaweed, drizzle with sesame oil, and start slurping. Keep slurping until the birds are chirping. n

TopShelf

Livers, Junkies, Smokies and the righteous noise

by Chris Aaland

FolkWest festivals up on Reservoir Hill in Pagosa Springs and the occasional ACT gig, they’ve built a local following through their he level of talent of the Durango music community dawned energetic live performances. on me during last week’s spring membership drive, as Liver StillHouse Junkie fiddler Alissa Wolf doesn’t limit herself to Down the River, the StillHouse Junkies, Caitlin Cannon & the just one band. She’s also a member of the all-female alt-country Cannondolls, Kirk James and Lacey Black all performed KSUT sestrio, the Cannondolls, who open for Americana powerhouse sions live in our studio. Sure, I’ve written about all of them countEilen Jewell at 7:30 p.m. tonight (Thurs., March 22). Fronted by less times in my column, but typically it was in the quick listing of the energetic and charismatic Caitlin Cannon, the trio relies on other happenings at the end of the column. And, yes, I’ve seen the pitch-perfect harmonies of cajon player Kate Willyard and them all live before. I knew Wolf’s melodic fiddling to they were talented. captivate the listener in a Rather than words, sultry ballad or a raucous chords and beats, I’m talkrocker. Tickets are moving ing about the other stuff fast for this one: at the that bigger, national bands start of the week, fewer don’t have to sweat … than 30 remained. choreographing a social The headliner, Eilen media blitz for every perJewell, is someone I’ve formance (including radio been fortunate to book for appearances), hauling local gigs three times, first your own gear, setting up as an opener for Canadian your own sound check singer/songwriter Fred Eaand simply taking time off glesmith a decade ago. Her work to do a radio appearlengthy career on the New ance. Local acts have to be England label Signature hungry. And three of them Sounds has allowed her to get busy this week. explore classic country (her Take Liver Down the “Eilen Jewell Presents River, for example. They A rising star on the local scene, Liver Down the River floats into the An- Butcher Holler: A Tribute to played an opening set for imas City Theatre at 9:30 p.m. Fri., March 23.

Loretta Lynn” is one of my the Lil’ Smokies the night favorite CDs); gospel (she’s before in Crested Butte, piled into a van in the morning and a member of the Sacred Shakers); and, most recently, blues, swing drove six hours to Ignacio for a mid-afternoon set. They’ve reand jump blues on her latest record, “Down Hearted Blues,” which cently changed some members, with drummer Cy Fontentot and made my Best of 2017 list a few months back. keyboard player Tyler Smith joining longtime members Emily Big Something brings its winter tour to the ACT at 9 p.m.

Winter (fiddle, vocals), Patrick Storen (mandolin), Dylan Runkel Tuesday. The six-piece powerhouse plays a timeless yet original (guitar, vocals) and Derk Ebt (bass). They filled KSUT’s tiny break blend of rock, pop, funk and improv that’s fueled by soaring guiroom that doubles as an impromptu live radio performance area tars, synth, horns and alluring vocals. Little Wilderness opens with a funky, grassy energy that’s rare. the show.

Since 2015, they put out an eponymous, five-song EP, a fullThe Live as One: One Vibration 2018 Pre-Party comes to length studio album, “Life You Love,” and are set to drop their the ACT at 9:15 p.m. Saturday, featuring Bass Physics and an first double-live set, “Where’s Your Liver, Vol. 1.” They’ll release it undercard of Krunkle Tom, Squoze and Mtn. Menace. Bass in digital format this Friday, which coincides with an Animas Physics is the Denver-based producer named Arja Adair, whose City Theatre homecoming at 9:30 that same night. Liver is one of impassioned sound emulates a revolutionary style of electronic those rare local bands that’s on the brink of breaking on the namusic, fusing rock, funk, hip-hop and melodic bass. tional level. They’ve already shared the stage with the likes of Elder Grown lends its funkalicous roots music to the VilBilly Nershi of String Cheese Incident and Tony Furtado and lage Aid Project that sends FLC students abroad to help develplayed a host of regional festivals. With a sound that weaves in oping communities build water, sanitation and hygiene systems. and out of bluegrass, funk and rock not unlike SCI or Leftover A fundraiser is slated for 7 p.m. tonight at the Community ConSalmon, there’s certainly a built-in audience for them. From what cert Hall. The Lawn Chair Kings will put the party into Byron I saw earlier this week, they have the right moxie to succeed.

Turner’s 50th birthday bash at 7:30 p.m. Friday at the Henry The StillHouse Junkies seemingly play a local gig every Strater Theatre. The public is invited to boogie down with Dan, other night. The quartet of Bruce Allsopp (resonator guitar, voPatrick, Hap and the Nord, while passing along best wishes to cals), Fred Kosak (mandolin, guitar, vocals), Alissa Wolf (fiddle, Old Man Turner. vocals) and Cody Tinnin (upright bass, vocals) has three gigs this The best thing I’ve heard this week isn’t a new record but weekend: their usual 5:30 p.m. Friday afternoon affair at Durather the KSUT in-studio performance by Liver Down the River rango Craft Spirits; an 8 p.m. Saturday gig at the Dolores River this past Monday. I had the pleasure of hosting the interview, so Brewery; and an opening slot for the Lil’ Smokies at 8 p.m. Suna thin pane of glass and a few feet were all that separated us. day at the ACT. Their sound is based in bluegrass but regularly They delivered a 40-minute on-air jam that rejuvenated us. Memdrifts into folk, country, blues and Americana territory. Their bership drives are arduous affairs and staff members and volundebut album is in its final mastering stage and should be ready teers were on their sixth day of sunrise-to-sunset fundraising. for release by next month’s Durango Bluegrass Meltdown.

Liver delivered the righteous noise. There’s a lot of great music Speaking of the Lil’ Smokies, they’ve blown up the past sevcoming to town this week, but some of the best will be played by eral years since winning band competitions at the Northwest our friends and neighbors.

String Summit and Telluride Bluegrass in 2015. Their eponymous 2013 album and last year’s follow-up, “Changing Shades,” have Cookin’ is a pleasure and singin’ is a treasure? Email me at become staff favorites at KSUT. Through regular appearances at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net. n

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onthetown

Thursday22 Yoga Flow, 8 a.m., Pine River Library.

Coffee with the Mayor, 9-10 a.m., Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave. www.durangogov.org.

Baby Meetup, 9:30-11:30 a.m., Columbine House at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 419 San Juan Dr. Little Readers Storytime, 10 a.m., Pine River Library.

Older Adults Coffee Klatch, 10 a.m.-noon, Ignacio Community Library. 563-9287.

Toddler Storytime, 10:30-11 a.m., Durango Public Library.

Superb Herb Workshop, 1 p.m., FLC Environmental Center. 306-3226.

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Idea Lab Grand Opening, new digital media, 1-7 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

Kidz Klub, after-school activities for elementary school kids, 4-5 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

“Doc Swords,” PTSD Social Club for Veterans, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. Wild Roses perform, 5 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St. N. Main and Camino del Rio grant program info session, 5 p.m., Durango Public Library. districts.durango gov.org.

Lacey Black performs, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave. Sitting Meditation, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave., 382-3875 or durangodharmacenter.org.

Garden Club Meeting, 6 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Open Mic Night, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave. Elder Grown performs, benefit for the Village Aid Project, 7 p.m., Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

“The Mask You Live In” screening, 7 p.m., Mancos Public Library. 533-7600.

Thursday Night Funk Jam, for experienced musicians, 9 p.m.-midnight, Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.

Friday23 Durango Early Bird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA headquarters, 45 Stewart St. 769-7615.

Free yoga, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Lively Boutique, 809 Main Ave. Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

“March for Our Lives,” to end school gun violence and shootings, 1-3 p.m., assemble at Durango High School parking lot and march to Rotary Park. march forourlives.com.

Leah Orlikowski performs, 5:30 p.m., Digs at Three Springs. 259-2344.

Caregiver Cafe, 10 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. 884-2222.

Rock Lounge Grand Opening, featuring prizes, silent auction, slideshow and more, 6-10 p.m., 111 E. 30th St. 764-4505.

Open Art Studio, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Ignacio Community Library. 563-9287.

Comedy Cocktail open mic stand up, sign up 7:30 p.m., show at 8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

Preschool Storytime, 10:30-11 a.m., Durango Public Library.

After School Awesome, 3:30 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. 884-2222.

STEAM Lab: Marble Roller Coasters, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Linda and the Jazz Monsters perform with Durango Jazz Resurgence, 7 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Fellowship 419 San Juan Dr. “The Ragnarok,” screening, 7 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Open Mic Night, 7-11 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave. 403-1200.

Lawn Chair Kings perform, 7:30 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. “Dirtbag: The Legend of Fred Beckey” screening, followed by talk with director and producer Dave O’Leske, 7:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.du rangoarts.tix.com.

Wild Country performs, 8 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon in Gem Village.

Laugh Therapy Comedy Showcase, 8-11 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave. 403-1200.

DJ Noonz, 8 p.m.-close, Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.

DJ Noonz, 8 p.m.-close, Moe’s, 937 Main Ave.

Sunday25 Locals Benefit Day, portion of ticket sales go to local nonprofits, Purgatory Resort. Tickets must be bought 48 hours in advance at www.skipurg.com.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

Free Tax Help, 1:30 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. Register at 553-9150.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. The Lil Smokies with special guests, 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. animascitytheatre.com.

Monday26 Yogalates, 9 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Jammin’ Juniors, 10 a.m., also Wed., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Food for Thought Lunch with Native American Center and Environmental Center, noon-1:30 p.m., FLC Native American Center. gallan@fortlewis.edu.

Gentle Yoga, 1 p.m., Durango Senior Center.

Saturday24

Pushing the Limits, reading, viewing and discussion program for adults, 1-3 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

Purgatory Ski-Easter Celebration, Easter egg hunt, 10 a.m., tubing hill; 11:15 a.m., Animas City Adventure Park, Purgatory Resort. www.skipurg.com.

Gamer Club, 3:30 p.m., Pine Library in Bayfield. 8842222.

“The Greatness of Bears Ears National Monument: Five Tribes Define a Spiritual Cultural Area in Redrock Utah and Make It Law,” part of the Life Long Learning Series, 7 p.m., Center of Southwest Studies at Fort Lewis College. swcenter.fortlewis.edu.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

Open Mic & Stand-Up Comedy, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

MakerSpace Skill Sessions, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Ignacio Community Library. 563-9287.

Karaoke with Crazy Charlie, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

VFW Indoor Flea Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 1550 Main Ave. 247-0384.

18 n March 22, 2018

The Legislative Lowdown with State Rep. Barbara McLachlan and State Sen. Don Coram, hosted by the La Plata County League of Women Voters, 10:30 a.m., Durango Public Library.

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Sitting Meditation and Talk given by Katherine Barr (senior dharma leader), 5:30-7 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave., 382-3875 or durango dharmacenter.org.

Salsa/Bachata/Merengue dance classes, 6:30 p.m., social/practice time 8-9 p.m., VFW Hall, 1550 Main Ave. 317-0742 or www.salsadancedurango.com.4

Classic Movie Mondays, featuring “High Noon,” 7 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Learn to Square Dance, with Wild West Squares, 78:30 p.m., Florida Grange, 656 Hwy 172. 903-6478.

Tuesday27 Women Outside Adventure Forum, featuring presentations on conservation, climate change and river health, March 27-29, Backcountry Experience. www.womenout side.org or 247-5830.

Yoga for All, 9 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave. Little Readers Storytime, 10 a.m., Pine River Library.

Storytime, 10 a.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave.

DJ Crazy Charlie hosts karaoke, 6:30-10:30 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon in Gem Village.

Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8:30 p.m., BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Dr. 259-5959.

Big Something performs with Little Wilderness, 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitythe atre.com.

Ongoing

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.-close, Moe’s Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday28 Morning Meditation, 8:30 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. 884-2222.

Bird Walk, 9 a.m., bring binoculars & meet at Rotary Park.

StoryTime, 10-11 a.m., Ignacio Community Library.

563-9287.

Storytime, 10:30-11:30 a.m., Mancos Public Library.

533-7600.

Pine River Valley Centennial Rotary Club, noon, Tequila’s in Bayfield.

“Turkey: A Partner in Crisis,” part of the Great Decisions 2018 lecture series, 11:45 a.m., Durango Public Library. www.lwvlaplata.org.

Free Trauma Conscious Yoga for Veterans and Families, noon-1 p.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

Baby Storytime, 2-2:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

MakerSpace, noon-4 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

563-9287.

Open Knitting Group, 1-3 p.m., Smiley Café, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Tuesday Too Cool, gaming and STEAM programming, 3:30 p.m., Pine River Library. 884-2222.

Floor Barre Class, 3-4 p.m., Absolute Physical Therapy, 277 E. 8th Ave. 764-4094.

Inklings Book Club, 3rd-5th graders, 4-5 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

The Jeff Solon Jazz Duo performs, 5-6:30 p.m., The Rochester Hotel Bar, 726 E. 2nd Ave.

Terry Rickard performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Greg Ryder performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Rotary Club of Durango, presentation by Shelby Tisdale on Morocco, 6 p.m., Henry Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave. 385-7899.

Happier Hour for People in their 20s and 30s meditation, tea and snacks, 5:30-7 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave. durangodharmacenter.org.

Knit or Crochet with Kathy Graf, 6-7 p.m., Mancos Public Library. 533-7600.

Citizens Climate Lobby monthly meeting, 5:30-8 p.m., The Underground at Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Adult Board Game Night, 6-7 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Thank the Veterans! potluck, Peter Neds and Glenn Keefe perform, 5:30-8:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. 8287777.

Durango Tri Club Kickoff Meeting, new triathlon organization, 6-7 p.m., Durango Rec Center. durangotriclub.org.

Bluegrass Jam, 6-9 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave. 403-1200.

Folk Jam, 6-8 p.m., Steaming Bean, 900 Main Ave. 4031200.

Terry Rickard performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. animascitytheatre.com.

“Bears in Your Back yard,” free wildlife webinar, 7 p.m., thru Bear Smart Durango. Register at wildlifeforyou training@gmail.com.

Solar Power in SW Colorado – 2018, by Guinn Unger, 6:30 p.m., Animas Valley Grange Hall, 7271 County Road 203.

Karaoke with Crazy Charlie, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Trivia Night, 7-10 p.m., Durango Brewing Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Card Making, 10 a.m., Pine River Senior Center, Bayfield.

ICL Knitters, 1-3 p.m., Ignacio Community Library. 5639287.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

FLC Student Juried Exhibition, thru March 26, Fort Lewis College Art Gallery. 247-7167.

“Splendor of the Rockies,” plein air works by Moab artist Carolyn Dailey, thru May 5, Eno, 723 E. 2nd Ave. 3850106.

Teen Time, 3:30 p.m., Tuesday-Friday, Pine River Library.

884-2222.

Teen Cafe, 2-5:30 p.m., Wednesdays, Ignacio Library.

563-9287.

Live music, 5:30 p.m., daily, Diamond Belle, 699 Main.

Live music, 7 p.m., daily, The Office, 699 Main Ave. Karaoke, 8 p.m., Thur-Sun, 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E 8th Ave.

Upcoming Durango Green Drinks, hosted by Sustainability Alliance of SW Colorado, 5-6:45 p.m., March 29, Carver Brewing Co., 1022 Main Ave. “The Bounds of Diversity and the Mirage of MultiCulturalism,” part of the Life-Long Learning Lecture series, 7 p.m., March 29, Fort Lewis College Noble Hall, Room 130. www.fortlewis.edu/professionalassociates.

The Met: Live in HD, featuring Mozart’s “Così fan tutte,” 10:55 a.m., March 31, Fort Lewis College Student Union, Vallecito Room. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Aeromyth: Concert on the Beach, Aerosmith tribute band, 4-6 p.m., March 31, Purgatory Resort. www.purgatory resort.com.

Peanuts™ Easter Beagle Express, April 1, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. www.durangotrain.com.

Veterans Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., April 1, Elks Club, 901 E. 2nd Ave. 946-4831.

Writers’ Workshop, 2 p.m., April 1, Ignacio Community Library.

Deadline for “On the Town” submissions is Monday at noon.

To submit an item email: calendar@durango telegraph.com

Yoga en Español, 7:30-8:30 p.m., YogaDurango, 1140 Main Ave.

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March 22, 2018 n 19

AskRachel Interesting fact: The vomit in “The Sandlot” was made from split pea soup, baked beans, oatmeal, water, and movie gel. And the chewing tobacco was made from beef jerky and licorice. Yum. Dear Rachel, It’s finally baseball season, and I’m starting to get pretty excited. Not for the Rockies, because who gets excited for the Rockies? I mean it’s time for baseball movies. Everyone has their take, and most of them are wrong, because there’s one winner that stands above all the rest. I really respect your opinions on most things, but this one is a do or die question for you. In your esteemed opinion, which baseball movie is the greatest baseball movie of all time?

- Run Home Jack Dear Rookie, Boy, did you come to the right girl. I loves me some baseball movies. And what you’ve asked is a loaded question, because people expect me to pick the more cinematic classics like “The Pride of the Yankees,” or the heart pull of “Bull Durham.” Instead, I sift through the pile of early-nineties kid flicks, which had some real gems. But one winner rises above them all. It’s the Colossus of Clout of baseball movies. The King of Crash. The Great Bambino. The greatest baseball movie any of us had ever known: “The Sandlot.”

– For-ev-er, Rachel Dear Rachel, Apparently International Women’s Day is a thing that happened this week. First of all, I’m confused. Is it an international day for women, or a day for international women? Second of all,

I’m perplexed. Every day should be women’s day, international or otherwise. I get the idea of commemorating the societal and cultural achievements of women, but that should just be every normal day. What’s the deal?

– Every Day is Women’s Day Dear Feminist, You’re right; every day should be women’s day. But that’s not the world we live in. The world we live in requires us to highlight the accomplishments of our fairer sex in order to dismantle the patriarchy and remind people that without women, we would not have radioactivity, or nurses, or famously missing pilots, or even “A League of Their Own.” And if women shouldn’t need a day, then they shouldn’t need borders, either. Let’s dismantle the “International” part while we’re at it.

– Sister suffragette, Rachel Dear Rachel, I just got back into town after leaving for a week, during which time I completely unplugged. I mean, I went seven entire days without hearing a single stupid thing the president said, or tuning in to what new travesties were happening in Congress. If there were mass shootings, I didn’t learn about them. I know I’m supposed to be an involved citizen, but damn, this was nice. How can I stay unplugged and detached in clean conscience now that I’m home?

– Disengaged Citizenry Dear Cordless, It’s entirely up to you how plugged you get. I mean, I understand the philosophy behind your civic duty to re-

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Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com main informed about politics on a national stage. But I also feel there are ways to show both your patriotism and your extreme disinterest in politics. May I recommend a baseball movie marathon?

– Call your shot, Rachel

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): The “School of Hard Knocks” is an old-fashioned idiom referring to the unofficial and accidental course of study available via life’s tough experiences. The wisdom one gains through this alternate approach to education may be equal or even superior to the knowledge that comes from a formal university or training program. I mention this, Aries, because in accordance with astrological omens, I want to confer upon you a diploma for your new advanced degree from the School of Hard Knocks. (P.S.: When PhD students get their degrees from Finland’s University of Helsinki, they are given top hats and swords as well as diplomas. I suggest you reward yourself with exotic props, too.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Europeans used to think that all swans were white. It was a reasonable certainty given the fact that all swans in Europe were that color. But in 1697, Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh and his sailors made a pioneering foray to the southwestern coast of the land we now call Australia. As they sailed up a river the indigenous tribe called Derbarl Yerrigan, they spied black swans.

They were shocked. The anomalous creatures invalidated an assumption based on centuries of observations. Today, a “black swan” is a metaphor referring to an unexpected event that contravenes prevailing theories about the way the world works. I suspect you’ll soon experience such an incongruity yourself. It might be a good thing! Especially if you welcome it instead of resisting it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Crayola is one of the world’s foremost crayon manufacturers.

The geniuses in charge of naming its crayon colors are playful and imaginative. Among the company’s standard offerings, for example, are Pink Sherbet, Carnation Pink, Tickle Me Pink, Piggy Pink, Pink Flamingo and Shocking Pink. Oddly, however, there is no color that’s simply called “pink.” I find that a bit disturbing. As much as I love extravagant creativity and poetic whimsy, I think it’s also important to cherish and nurture the basics. In accordance with the astrological omens, that’s my advice for you in the coming weeks. Experiment with fanciful fun, but not at the expense of the fundamentals.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): According to Vice magazine, Russian scientist Anatoli Brouchkov is pleased with the experiment he tried. He injected himself with 3.5-million-year-old bacteria that his colleagues had dug out of the permafrost in Siberia. The infusion of this ancient life form, he says, enhanced his energy and strengthened his immune system. I can’t vouch for the veracity of his claim, but I do know this: It’s an apt

metaphor for possibilities you could take advantage of in the near future: drawing on an old resource to boost your power, for example, or calling on a well-preserved part of the past to supercharge the present.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Booze has played a crucial role in the development of civilization, says biomolecular archaeologist Patrick McGovern. The process of creating this mind-altering staple was independently discovered by many different cultures, usually before they invented writing. The buzz it provides has “fired our creativity and fostered the development of language, the arts and religion.” On the downside, excessive consumption of alcohol has led to millions of bad decisions and has wrecked countless lives. Everything I just said is a preface to my main message, Leo: The coming weeks will be a favorable time to transform your habitual perspective, but only if you do so safely and constructively. Whether you choose to try intoxicants, wild adventures, exhilarating travel or edgy experiments, know your limits.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The astrological omens suggest that the coming weeks will be favorable for making agreements, pondering mergers and strengthening bonds. You’ll be wise to deepen at least one of your commitments.

You’ll stir up interesting challenges if you consider the possibility of entering into more disciplined and dynamic unions with worthy partners. Do you trust your own perceptions and insights to guide you toward ever-healthier alliances? Do what you must to muster that trust.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you want people to know who you really are and savor you for your unique beauty, you must be honest with those people. You must also develop enough skill to express your core truths with accuracy. There’s a similar principle at work if you want to know who you really are and savor yourself for your unique beauty: You must be honest with yourself. You must also develop enough skill to express your core truths with accuracy. The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to practice these high arts.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your journey in the coming weeks may be as weird as an R-rated telenovela, but with more class. Outlandish, unpredictable and even surreal events could occur, but in such a way as to uplift and educate your soul. Labyrinthine plot twists will be medicinal as well as entertaining.

As the drama gets curioser and curioser, my dear Scorpio, I expect you will learn how to capitalize on the odd opportunities it brings. In the end, you will be grateful for this ennobling respite from mundane reality!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): “Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence,” wrote philosopher Erich Fromm. I would add a corollary for your rigorous use during the last nine months of 2018: “Love is the only effective and practical way to graduate from your ragged, long-running dilemmas and start gathering a new crop of fresh, rousing challenges.” By the way, Fromm said love is more than a warm and fuzzy feeling in our hearts. It’s a creative force that fuels our willpower and unlocks hidden resources.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My goal here is to convince you to embark on an orgy of self-care – to be as sweet and tender and nurturing to yourself as you dare to be. If that influences you to go too far in providing yourself with luxurious necessities, I’m OK with it. And if your solicitous efforts to focus on your own health and wellbeing make you appear a bit self-indulgent or narcissistic, I think it’s an acceptable price to pay. Here are more key themes for you in the coming weeks: basking in the glow of self-love; exulting in the perks of your sanctuary; honoring the vulnerabilities that make you interesting.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One day, Beatles’ guitarist George Harrison decided to compose his next song’s lyrics “based on the first thing I saw upon opening any book.”

He viewed this as a divinatory experiment, as a quest to incorporate the flow of coincidence into his creative process. The words he found in the first book were “gently weeps.” They became the seed for his tune “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

Rolling Stone magazine ultimately named it one of “The Greatest Songs of All Time” and the 10th best Beatle song. In accordance with the astrological omens, I recommend you try some divinatory experiments of your own in the coming weeks. Use life’s fun little synchronicities to generate playful clues and unexpected guidance.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Millions of you Pisceans live in a fairy tale world. But I suspect that very few of you will be able to read this horoscope and remain completely ensconced in your fairy tale world. That’s because I have embedded subliminal codes in these words that will at least temporarily transform even the dreamiest among you into passionate pragmatists in service to your feistiest ideals. If you’ve read this far, you are already feeling more disciplined and organized. Soon you’ll be coming up with new schemes about how to actually materialize a favorite fairy tale in the form of real-life experiences.

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Get your Telegraph T before they disappear In a variety of mens & womens sizes.

Perfect for adventures out in the wild or covering up that man sweater back in civilization.

Order yours today: 970-259-0133 or email: telegraph@ durangotelegraph.com

March 22, 2018 n 21

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish please call ahead 259-0133.

Lost&Found Sweet Pup Needs a Home Small female black mouth cur, vaccinated, obeys commands, sweet disposition, needs a home, would make a great ranch dog. 970-946-7176.

Announcements Headed West With Bike or Boat?

Don’t forget that bagels roll and float!

The Pie Maker Bakery in Cortez has pastries, sandwiches, and nitro coffee for your adventure. Small batch, organic and local, call ahead for whole pies and bulk bagels.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Pets Love Your Dog! At the Durango Dog Wash behind Liquor World in the Albertson’s parking lot. Open every day!

Wanted Turn Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. Into Cash! at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-2593494.

22 n March 22, 2018

HelpWanted 6th Street Liquors Hiring 6th Street Liquors is hiring part-time weekend shifts. Come in with resume between 9:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m. or email resume to sixthstreetdurango@gmail.com.

Experienced Line Cooks Wanted Looking for responsible individual with excellent knife skills to fill full-time position at BREW Pub & Kitchen. Must be available for the summer. Email resume to brewpubkitchen@gmail.com Landscape Positions Available Established landscape co. seeking team members for bed maintenance, lawn care, and landscape and irrigation crews. Experienced preferred. 970-749-9257.

Interested in Psych, Human Services or Corrections Careers?

Work with at-risk students in a secure detention facility. *Detention Specialist/Coach Counselor (FT,PT, days, nights) Open interview/tour at DeNier Youth Services, Tuesdays 9:00 am or 5:30 pm, Thursdays 3:00 pm or 5:30 pm.

Must be 21 yo and pass drug/background tests incl THC. Email resume sana.iftikhar@rop.com or apply at 720 Turner Dr, Durango.

Seasonal Gardening Work Longstanding landscape /gardening company is hiring gardeners for 2018 season. Experience preferred. 970-946-7176.

Farm/Ranch Hand In need of a farm/ranch hand in the Durango area. Must have own transportation. 20-30 hours weekly. Must be self starter. Flexible hours. Call Jim at 602793-8880.

Classes/Workshops Be a Massage Therapist!

Next ski season! MountainHeart School in Crested Butte! May 28th. 800673-0539 www.mountainheart.org Blacksmith Classes Learn the art of blacksmithing in a working blacksmith shop in Mancos Colorado. More info www.cowboyforge.com

telegraph

Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

Services Botanical Hi-Altitude Skin Care A drug free approach to metabolic, hormonal signs of aging, and environmental damage. Private and personal.

Monie Schlarb lic. esthetician. 970-7644261, leave message.

Prepare for Fire Season The winter of 2017-2018 has been an historical low for moisture throughout the state of Colorado. Many of us experienced a similar winter in 2001-2002 and endured Missionary Ridge and Valley Fires. Now is the time to prepare for what could be a very destructive fire season.

Please contact us for a fire mitigation assessment and quote. 946-8250.

New Moon Special

by Donation Only!

BodyTalk™ and Red Hat Qigong healing sessions offered by donation between March 17th and April 16th new moons.

Any amount accepted. www.juliegentry.com Gorgeous Spring Break Spray Tans!

Get your gorgeous natural glow on at Spa Evo with a spray tan color-customized exclusively for you. Expertly applied by Durango’s only Gold-Certified spray tan artist. 6 years exp.

Read my reviews on Yelp & FB. Text or call 970-259-0226 to schedule today! www.spaevo.com R & D Landscaping and Masonry Early season deals for all aspects of landscaping, masonry, concrete, excavation, etc. 970-529-3034.

Spring Break Spray Tans!

Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199.

Southwest Serviceman, LLC Insured and professional handyman service 970-749-5581.

Low Price on Inside/Outside Storage Near Durango, RJ Mini Storage. 970259-3494.

Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Create harmony in your space this year by organizing and cleaning your home, vacation home or office. Martee 970-403-6192.

Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advancedductcleaninginc.com Typos Are Your Worst Enema A good editor is your ally. Full-service text editing for websites, businesses, books, papers and tattoo ideas. Write to zach@zachhively.com

BodyWork Massage by Meg Bush is moving across the street 4/1 to 1075 Main Ave. #215! 970-759-0199.

Bodywork by Melanie Higbee Appointments are currently available for massage and bodywork, with Melanie Higbee: advanced myofascial practitioner and licensed massage therapist. Call 970238-0422, or schedule online @ melanie higbeecertifiedmassagetherapist@full slate.com Qi-Source.com “Energy Healing” My technique is a uniquely customized treatment that combines myofascial release, therapeutic pressure and quantum energetic therapy. This variety of modalities can assist in healing from sports injuries, pain and past trauma so your body to heal itself and function the way it was designed to. (Intro: 50% off first hr) Rich 970-946-9920.

Massage Intervention...

24 years of experience. Check out reviews on Facebook and Yelp. Couples massage! 970-903-2984.

Massage with Kathryn Downtown location. Introductory rate $65/hr. Offering deep tissue, therapeutic

stretching and acutonics. 970-201-3373 for more information.

RealEstate Nice 2 Bed, 2 Bath Condo For Sale Fully furnished vacation rental, 2 bed, 2 bath between downtown and Fort Lewis College. $229,000 Call Thad at 970-375-7029.

Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation. Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970-946-1618.

ForSale Hot Tub – New 6HP pump, 50 jets. Cost $8,000. Sell $3,750. 505-270-3104.

Great Deal Front-Loading Washer medium capacity, $165 OBO. 970-2594555.

Selling Sh** 2011 Chevy long bed diesel 101,000 miles; 2006 Honda crf 450 R, great condition; kayak, paddles, skirts, raft paddles; chain saw; bikes - singlespeed, road and mountain; new Venture snowboard; ice augers. You name it I probably have it: 970946-0512.

Tristan’s Stained Glass Specializing in repairs, custom orders.

Sheet glass and art glass supplies. 970- 4032011.

2011 Kawasaki Vulcan 900cc, great condition. 13K miles. Windshield, saddle bags, new tires. $4,600 970769-4757.

Reruns Home Furnishings Spruce up your home with unique and useful treasures. Household store full of furniture & décor - tall iron bistro table with barn-wood, glass top and two copper-tone stools. Great lamp selection, patio items.

Nice wool rugs, tables, Asian-style dresser.

Daily markdowns. 572 E. 6th Ave. 385-7336.

RoommateWanted Male Only, In-Town Clean, quiet. No smokers, pets, partiers. $550 including utilities, plus deposit. 970759-0551.

CommercialForRent Share OFC Large room available, full or part time.

247-9076.

CommunityService SASO Recruiting Volunteers Sexual Assault Services Organization (SASO) is recruiting adult volunteers to assist in this year’s Keys to High School Success (KTHSS) for 8th grade boys. KTHSS is a oneday conference for all of La Plata County 8th graders that gives students tools to be advocates, understand and practice healthy rela-

tionships, and develop a positive self-image.

The conference is Thurs., May 3 from 8 a.m.2 p.m. If you are interested in volunteering please contact SASO’s FLC Intern Anna Raney at aaraney@fortlewis.edu.

La Plata County Seeks Applicants for Living w/ Wildlife Advisory Board The La Plata Board of County Commissioners is seeking applicants for its Living w/ Wildlife Advisory Board. This committee assists the commissioners in developing and implementing programs to reduce animal damage within La Plata County. Applicants must be county residents. This position is advisory only and is not monetarily compensated. An application and a description may be obtained online at: www.co.laplata.co.us or at the La Plata County Administration Building, 1101 East 2nd Ave. Call (970) 3826219 with any questions.

Colorado Citizens’ Climate Lobby Scholarship Deadline Nears The CCL 2018 National Conference and Lobby Day is June 10-12. The trip to DC from Colorado costs about $1,000 for airfare, hotel, registration, and meals. Scholarships of up to $800 will be awarded. Deadline for Application: Sunday, April 1. Apply by email to the Colorado CCL Scholarship Committee at CoCCLScholarship2018@gmail.com to request an application form. Applicants will be notified by April 18. iAM MUSIC, Local First Creative Arts Initiative Host Fundraiser An Elegant Evening at Eolus, a benefit

for iAM MUSIC, is a three-course meal at Eolus Rooftop dining with iAM MUSIC Founders, Board of Directors & Staff. The evening features a lively, social, fine-dining atmosphere with wine, culinary art & music pairings. All proceeds from this event go directly to empowering our youth to discover their creative voice and develop skills to create a positive, conscious society through music. The event takes place April 5 from 6-9 p.m. For more info or tickets, visit iammusic.us or local-first.org.

Four Corners Master of Social Work The application deadline for the Four Corners Master of Social Work degree program offered in Durango by the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work is May 1. This two-year program is offered at reduced tuition with classes on Fridays and Saturdays. Any student with a liberal arts degree is eligible to enroll. 147 graduates from the Durango program are currently working in clinical and community social work agencies across the Four Corners. For more information, contact Wanda Ellingson, at 970.247.9773 or email: wellings@du.edu

HaikuMovieReview ‘I, Tonya’ Though she often got the shaft in life she made it hard to root for her – Lainie Maxson

Drinking&DiningGuide Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956 www.himkitchen.com Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. Try our all-you-can-eat lunch buffet. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free.

Hours: Lunch, 11am-2:30 pm & dinner, Sun. - Thurs., 5-9:30 p.m., Fri. & Sat. ‘til 10 p.m. Closed 2:30 to 5 daily $$ Crossroads Coffee 1099 Main Ave. 970-903-9015 Crossroads coffee proudly serves locally roasted Fahrenheit coffee and local baked goods. Menu includes delicious gluten-free muffins and bullet-proof coffee.

Come in for friendly service and the perfect buzz!

Hours: Mon.- Fri., 7 a.m. – 4 p.m. $ BREW Pub & Kitchen 117 W. College Drive, 970-259-5959 www.brewpubkitchen.com Experience Durango’s award-winning brewery & restaurant featuring unique, hand-crafted beers, delicious food - made from scratch, wonderful wine & cocktails.

Happy Hour, Mon.- Fri. 3-6 pm & all day Sunday with $2 off beer, $1 off wines & wells & 25% off appetizers. Watch the sunset behind Smelter Mountain as the train goes by.

Hours: Sun.-Thurs.11 a.m. - 9p.m., & Fri. & Sat.11 a.m. to 10 p.m. $$

Get in the Guide! $20/week. Email: lainie@durangotelegraph.com

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