Durango Telegraph - December 13, 2018

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Dec. 13, 2018 Vol. XVII, No. 50 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

Taxing situation

A golden opportunity

Ripples from Wayfair decision felt up and down Main Ave. p8

The Nugget reborn as north county’s latest hot spot p14

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Spreading the love Hey Millennials, mayo isn’t gross, it’s just misunderstood p16


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lineup

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4 La Vida Local

Way un-fair? Wayfair tax decision creates ripples up and down Main Avenue

4 Thumbin’ It

by Tracy Chamberlin

5 Word on the Street

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6-7 Soapbox

Coming clean Lawmakers take another shot at good Samaritan mine clean-up bill

10 Mountain Town News

by Missy Votel

12-13 Day in the Life

12-13

16 Flash in the Pan

Powder quest

17 Top Shelf

It may be brown in town, but winter’s in full swing if you know where to go photos by Stephen Eginoire

18-20 On the Town

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20 Ask Rachel

Tapping in

21 Free Will Astrology

The Nugget is reborn as the north county’s newest hot spot by Missy Votel

22 Classifieds

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23 Haiku Movie Review

Spreading the love

On the cover: The Grand Turk on Molas Pass bathed in rosy alpenglow./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

Mayonnaise is not gross, it’s just misunderstood by Ari LeVaux

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EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

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he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Stephen Eginoire, Tracy Chamberlin, Jesse Anderson, Zach Hively, David Feela, and Shan Wells

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332 Durango, CO 81302

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LLC and distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area. We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue. Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

PHONE: 970.259.0133

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Ear to the ground: “I’d just as soon take candy from a stranger than hug a friend.” – Local woman on her determination to beat the dreaded Durango crud and stomach bug

Rolling for Rob

thepole

RegularOccurrences

The local bike community is mobilizing to host a memorial ride in honor of the recently and dearly departed co-owner of Bread bakery, Rob Kabeary. As most already know, Kabeary, 61, died unexpectedly Dec. 1 from complications of what is believed to have been a stroke. During his time, he was a huge cycling advocate and generous donor of baked goods to Devo riders as well as the community at large. “Rob was one of Devo’s most fervent and dedicated supporters,” Devo Director Levi Kurlander wrote in an email. “Rob’s donations to Devo through Bread have become a staple of our experience – from coaches to kids, we’ve never gone hungry. Rob was always quick to downplay the significance of his giving. ‘It’s just food,’ he’d say.” To give something back to the man that gave so much, Devo will he holding a “slow roll” memorial bike ride at 1:15 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15. The ride will start at Bread and make its way through town and to the memorial service for Kabeary at Miller Middle School at 2:30 p.m. The ride will be suitable for all ability levels and types of bikes. In addition to being an avid cyclist, Kabeary was also an huge fan of KDUR radio. As a result, family and friends are requesting that donations be made in his name to www.kdur.org or sent to KDUR, 1000 Rim Drive, Durango, 81301 with the note “Rob Kabeary” in the memo line. People can also make donations to Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos, an orphanage in Honduras where Kabeary worked. Donate at www.nph.org/ projects or send a check to NPH United States, 134 North LaSalle St., Suite 500, Chicago, IL 60602-1036 and note “Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos Honduras” in the memo line.

Split decision Backcountry boarders no longer need to feel left out in the cold when it comes to demo-ing new equipment. This week, Backcountry Experience will be holding two events specifically geared toward backcountry riders who travel up on two boards but down on one. “Despite the growing popularity of the sport, there are very few opportunities for splitboarders to demo new gear, so we’ve decided to offer local riders the chance to try new gear – both uphill and downhill,” Backcountry’s marketing guru Margaret Hedderman said. If this is the year you leave the lifts behind to earn your turns, the first event is for you. “Splitboarding 101” takes place tonight, Dec. 13, from 6:30 – 8 p.m., at Backcountry Experience (1205 Camino del Rio.) Brought to you by Weston Splitboards, the clinic will go over choosing your splitboard, and how to set it up and transition between touring and downhill mode. It will also delve into the basics of backcountry trip planning, reading the CAIC website and avalanche awareness. Then, from 6 - 8 p.m., Sat., Dec. 15, Backcountry and Weston will host the Durango Splitboard Demo at Chapman Hill. The event will feature a splitboards from Weston as well as bindings from Spark R&D, skins from Pomoca and Black Diamond, and packs from Osprey. The event will also feature a Splitboard Touring clinic with Jack Klim, of Kling Mountain Guides. Backcountry will provide hot cocoa and soup. Dec. 13, 2018 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal Have a GFF holiday Any day now, I’ll walk into a shop where a “gluten free” sign hangs on the wall. Striding up to the counter, pointing toward the sign, I’ll ask for a free bag of gluten. I haven’t done it yet. I’m rehearsing a straight face. Until I succeed, any shop can safely keep the likes of me away from its counter simply by inserting a proper hyphen between the two words. But please, no colons. The gluten-free diet evolved as a health alternative for people who no longer want to suffer the intestinal discomforts of gluten intolerance. It takes guts. Excessive gas and diarrhea inspire many of its victims to adjust the way they eat. A gluten-free friend told me at a social gathering how his glutenfree diet has significantly reduced embarrassing encounters at social gatherings. I congratulated him, discretely of course, as I cautiously squeezed his hand. The word “intolerance” fosters such an awkward relationship between those who won’t eat gluten and those who will. It’s not the same as telling someone you have a peanut allergy. Pop a handful of nuts into your mouth and the doubters can watch while your face swells up and you start wheezing. If you manage to mumble “I told you so” before doubling over, at least you’ll have created a believer. Gluten doesn’t work that way. Claiming you can’t eat gluten won’t prompt a visit from the paramedics, or even a sympathetic flutter of hugs from your friends, and certainly not from strangers. A few people might say, “Gee, I can’t tolerate gluten either” but some will just look at you, roll their eyes and ask, “Well then, what can you eat?” It all sounds so natural. Gluten is a protein that is supposed to be good for the body. It has been around since the dawn of agriculture. Accounts of historic figures whose lives were shortened by gluten is nonexistent. Julius Caesar didn’t die of gluten, unless his conspirators smeared it on the tips of their knives. By checking a list of ingredients on packaged foods, disciples learn what to reject – mainly products containing wheat, though barley, rye and many seasonings and spice mixes also include gluten. Sometimes even lunch meat. Not to mention (but I’m going to anyway) durum, einkorn, farina, faro and spelt. If it’s unhealthy to swallow a spelt, then how foolish one must feel having missed spelt while scrutinizing an ingredient list. Once I hosted a little gathering at my place and invited friends to a potluck. Big mistake. I received earnest replies asking what food I’ll be serv-

ing, shadowed by the inevitable follow-up question, “What I can I bring?” By the time I made note of all the dietary restrictions, my spontaneous potluck had turned into a minefield. GFFs sometimes avoid dairy, soy, GMO and even nuts. In the end, I threw my hands up in the air and said, “Just bring something you can eat.” The quagmire doesn’t give way at just hosting parties. Dining out poses other getting-safely-back-home challenges. You can’t just drop bread crumbs anymore. Menus evolve, and entree descriptions at the better restaurants try to offer customers essential dietary information. Grilled Reuben with choice of side might be phrased as “grass-fed corned beef on Jewish kosher gluten-free rye, baked with amaranth flour and sprouts, grilled in extra virgin olive oil. Topped with an aged, reduced-sugar/salt brine sauerkraut, non-dairy Swiss cheese, on a bed of arugula and kale. 2,655 calories (sandwich only). Traditional low-fat thousand island sauce or heart-healthy vinaigrette dressing available. Substitute sweet potato fries or butternut squash medallions for only $2 more.” I got sleepy just reading about it. Researchers fear only 20 percent of Americans who suffer from celiac disease – which can be made even more serious by eating gluten – have been diagnosed, but in a study of 55 gluten-free dieters cited by WebMD, 53 tested negative for the disease. Gratuitous gluten-free diets may also pose nutritional health risks. 1.8 million Americans are celiacs, and another 1.6 million observe gluten-free diets. Reportedly, there is little overlap between the two groups. So go ahead. Eat more fruits and vegetables. It can’t kill you. Meanwhile, the $7 billion gluten-free food marketing industry would be pleased to see the trend in self-diagnosis continue to multiply. Recently I bought four gluten-free chocolate chip cookies for the outrageous price of $5. I ate one. The remainders I passed along to a GFF who reluctantly accepted them. My aversion to the wretched little excuses for cookies when I handed them over might have been obvious on my face, though I’d prefer to believe his own alternative food experiments had already taught him to be wary. So during these holiday get-togethers, stay wise. In the end, choosing the best foods for a healthy lifestyle may be less concerned with what we put into our mouths. Instead, our most full-filling decision may be about how much of it goes in.

Thumbin’It A 10 percent spike in donations in Southwest Colorado for Colorado Gives Day, with donors giving more than $230,000 to nonprofits across a five-county region A U.S. District Court of Appeals thwarting the Village at Wolf Creek’s latest attempt to circumvent proper environmental analysis for its proposed land swap Xcel Energy announcing an ambitious plan to completely eliminate carbon emissions from its portfolio by 2050, the first major interstate utility to do so

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– David Feela

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall: Disproportionately high premiums and lack of options for rural Colorado residents on the health insurance exchange, with some “bronze level” plans costing as much as $2,900/month Another week of short-sighted assaults on the environment, with the Trump administration rolling back protections for the sage grouse and gutting parts of the Clean Water Act Discovery of an oil and gas well leaking wastewater in Canyons of the Ancients National Monument

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Don’t like Christmas music? Tubad Eight-hundred-and-thirty-five tuba players got together in Kansas last week and played “Silent Night” to break the world record previously held by 502 tuba players in California. But nothing was holy about that night, all was not calm, all was not bright. And with all the breathing those 835 players had to do, it probably stunk, so I hope someone brought a tuba toothpaste. Unrelated fun fact: “a butt tuba” spelled backwards is still “a butt tuba.”


WordontheStreet With the holiday gift blitz in full swing, the Telegraph asked: “Who would you like to give a lump of coal to?”

Q

“Tiernan.”

Jessica Utter

Tiernan Groug

“Grandpa for telling grandma to get run over by a reindeer.”

“I would give myself a lump of coal.”

“Has anybody else said Trump yet?”

Phillip LeFevre

“David Choon.”

Ralph Battles

V. Barney

Don’t take it out on the moose – we warned you. We will be on vacation starting 12/19/18, returning to the office Mon., 12/31/18.

Happy Holidays!

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Dec. 13, 2018 n 5


ReTooned/by Shan Wells

SoapBox Ranchers miss point of symposium To the editor, I read the OpEd in the Dec. 6 issue of the Telegraph from the La Plata County Farm Bureau and La Plata County Cattlemen’s Association titled “Wolf Symposium left ranchers out in the cold.” My impression was precisely the opposite. The entire symposium appeared to be designed to address the concerns of ranchers should wolf reintroduction take place in Colorado. Speakers were brought in who addressed the experience of ranchers in the northern Rockies where wolves currently reside. Presentations included specific information on livestock losses due to predation by wolves. Perhaps the letter writers weren’t listening. More likely they have a closed mind. The symposium was not short on details. I found it to be a well-balanced discussion of what we might expect if wolves were deliberately reintroduced to Colorado. Ranchers will be affected by the presence of wolves. However, ranchers have no more say in the use of public lands than the rest of us. We already kill wildlife to benefit ranchers, a sad reality. Ranchers are an important part of Colorado culture. In Durango, it’s very impressive to me that I can go into a restaurant and eat local produce and locally raised meat. Private ranches also provide valuable open space and form an important part of the ambiance of this incredible landscape. I’d like to see ranching remain viable and local farm-to-table programs grow. But ranchers can also be closed minded and resistant to new ideas. They hold too much sway over the use of public lands. Ranching is steeped in public subsidies. Public lands belong to all of us, and their primary purpose is not to feed private cattle and sheep. Livestock have a negative impact on public lands. Yet ranchers and special interest groups like the Farm Bureau hold undue influence with 4

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decision-makers about the use of our public lands. The Wolf Symposium provided credible scientific data that can be used to restore balance to our natural landscapes. Ranchers can participate in this dialogue for the benefit of all. The letter writers cherry-picked the information, and speaker Tom Compton, representing ranchers, also deliberately used misleading information to distort the truth. There are issues that need to be addressed. Instead of griping and offering stiff opposition, ranchers could provide useful insight into dialogue leading to the successful reintroduction of wolves in Colorado. That was the entire point of the symposium. – James P McMahon, Durango

Forethought not higher taxes To the editor, The defeat of the 2A tax issue in November was not a “no” vote for police, streets and infrastructure but a “no confidence” vote on the way the city is run. I attended the “Wicked Problem” meetings held by the City, and I consider myself an informed citizen. I was not surprised by the vote. The lack of foresight and planning is a major factor. The 2015 Park and Rec (P&R) sales tax should not have been brought to a vote four years before it was set to expire. Other departments have been going begging for a long time. That tax should have been allocated among P&R as well as the non-sexy streets and infrastructure and then put up for vote. Why not put that up for re-allocation now? It could be that people are seeing the cost and cost overruns of P&R projects. For example, the soccer fields at FLC and the Whitewater Park both had to be re-worked after “completion” totaling another $1.5 million in tax dollars. The P&R Advisory Board just voted for a new $4.5M parking lot at Santa Rita Park. All this is paid from sales taxes that are now desperately needed for other City departments. It should be pointed out that another increase in sewer

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and water fees looms in 2019. Quit draining the same sources for revenue and instead look to areas that have, for some reason, been sacrosanct. Overall, we need long-range planning, forethought and fairness not higher taxes. – Alma Taylor Evans, Durango

Make safe & secure shelter for all To the editor, Homelessness was identified as one of the top three issues for our City over the next five years by residents in Durango’s Community Satisfaction Survey of April 2018. The City needs to listen to the community by taking the survey to heart and prioritizing collaboration and cooperation with the County and nonprofits to work on the challenge of homelessness. Homelessness is a complex and long-term issue. It must be addressed by the City by actively supporting the development of a safe and secure shelter for all homeless. This may mean different types of housing or shelter for the different situations of individuals and families that are homeless. The City has a model that supports community service nonprofits (i.e. Manna Soup Kitchen, VOA) which could serve as an example for a way forward. The City contributes by providing a location, and the nonprofits use their expertise to create, manage and operate the services. Why not do this for all homeless? Perhaps, the nonprofit and faith-based communities could help in the short term by each providing temporary shelter for just one or two individuals. Recognizing that it will take time to create housing solutions for all, the City must take action now. – Kim Baxter, Durango

Board doesn’t reflect county folks To the editor, Congratulations to the city of Durango for having captured all three seats on the Board of County Commission-

ers! Going back 24 years, the Democrat county commissioners representing District 3 have yet to win a majority of the voters in that district that includes Bayfield, Ignacio and Vallecito. In the last election, results showed that the current county commissioner for District 1 received 5,869 votes and his opponent got 5,155 votes within the precincts for that district. That’s a 714-vote margin for the current District 1 commissioner that lost the overall tally by 23 votes! In May, a bill allowing counties of 70,000 population or less to elect commissioners strictly by districts was passed with bipartisan support in the senate. The Democrat-controlled house killed it. House hearings on the bill included testimony by phone from FLC. The only two La Plata County residents testifying against the measure were Jean Walters, former head of the La Plata County Democrats, and Durango’s mayor Sweetie Marbury. According to 2017 population statistics, La Plata County had 55,589 residents, and the city of Durango had 18,465 residents. In other words, a third of the county residents (those living in the city of Durango) elects 100 percent of the county commissioners. Beginning in January, we’ll have three Democrat county commissioners, two of which couldn’t even win the majority of votes in the districts they were “elected” to represent. How is that representative government? – Dennis Pierce, Durango

“We’ll print damned-near anything” The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We offer this forum to the public to settle differences, air opinions & undertake healthy discourse. We have only three requests: limit letters to 750 words, letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome. Send your insights by Tuesday at noon to: PO Box 332, Durango, 81302 or e-mail your profundities to: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com. Let the games begin ...

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TopStory

In the past, shoppers in downtown Durango would pay state, county and city sales taxes on their holiday purchases. Once shoppers changed over to using their laptops or cellphones for those same purchases, taxes weren’t part of the cost. But following a recent U.S. Supreme Court decision, things have changed, and everyone has to pay online sales tax. The change has created headaches for small businesses trying to figure out how much to charge whom./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

A taxing situation Local businesses struggle to decode new rules for online sales by Tracy Chamberlin

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axes may be one of two certainties in life, but figuring out how to pay them is anything but. Following a court decision this summer, states and cities are now allowed to require online retailers, like Amazon and Wayfair, to pay local sales taxes. But in the rush to cash in on this new rule, some states may have tripped over their own two cents – including Colorado. What happened to Wayfair? It all started with the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in South Dakota v. Wayfair. In a 5-4 decision handed down June 21, the court made one important change to the way interstate commerce is handled. It used to be that retailers had to have a physical presence in the state in order to be forced to pay sales taxes. Over the years, there were debates about how much of a physical presence was required – from an actual storefront to storage facility, employee

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or even contractor – but either way something or someone had to be there if the state wanted to collect sales tax. The Wayfair decision changed that requirement. With online retailers growing so big, so fast, it became clear to the court that interstate commerce was happening whether or not a company like Amazon had any buildings, storage facilities or employees in the state. The court believed it created an unfair advantage and sided with South Dakota, saying the state had a constitutional right to require sales taxes from out-of-state internet retailers. Since then, other states across the nation have been trying to get in the game. The Colorado Department of Revenue joined in this September when it announced emergency rule changes for sales tax collection. Starting Dec. 1, the department is requiring any business making an online transaction to pay the state and local sales taxes specific to the location where the buyer takes possession of the item. 4


WayfairDecision from p. 8 For example, if someone in Colorado purchases an item on Amazon, it would be up to Amazon to figure out in which of Colorado’s 344 cities, counties or special districts the buyer lives, calculate the taxes specific to that location and remit those taxes to all the entities in question. The problem is with all the different taxing entities overlapping in Colorado, there are more than 700 possible tax totals. The Tax Foundation, a Washington, D.C.-based tax policy nonprofit, flagged Colorado as one of two states in the country that was far from ready to start collecting sales taxes from online purchases. The reason was not just hundreds of different tax totals, but the way taxes are collected. Some sales taxes in the state are collected by the Colorado Department of Revenue, which then distributes them to local governments. Others are collected by what are called home-rule cities. These home-rule cities – of which Durango is one – really do make their own rules. They have complete autonomy when it comes to sales taxes, setting up their own systems and collection. “Colorado has the worst sales tax collection system in the United States,” Bruce Nelson, a certified public accountant with more than 30 years of experience, said. “One of the reasons is we have 71 home-rule cities.” The Colorado Municipal League, a nonprofit organization founded in 1923 to help officials manage towns and cities, is currently working with all 71 home-rule cities to try and craft a single standard for online transactions. But, it will take time. Meanwhile, retailers selling items online to residents in Colorado are stuck trying to navigate the system. It’s a complicated web for any sized retailer but an even stickier one for small businesses. Small scale, big impact Kay Dietz, who owns Dietz Market south of town with her husband, shows up at her store early in the morning and leaves late at night. Her focus these days is on her customers and just getting through the busy Christmas season – not trying to decode the latest rule change from the Department of Revenue or decipher hundreds of possible tax calculations for an online sale. She said she doesn’t mind collecting or paying the taxes, but trying to keep up with all the different taxing entities and filing systems is difficult, particularly for a business like hers. Peter Schertz, co-owner of Maria’s Bookshop downtown, agrees. “The bottom line is, it’s an enormous burden on small business,” he said. One of the reasons the U.S. Supreme Court sided with South Dakota in its case against Wayfair was because the process wasn’t supposed to be burdensome. In South Dakota, for example, a business with limited

Still confused? In an effort to help local businesses navigate the new rules and keep up with the changing sales tax landscape, FredrickZink and Associates is hosting an event with Bruce Nelson, who has 30 years of experience as a certified public accountant and has authored more than 50 articles and books on tax issues and policy. What: Community workshop on latest sales tax changes When: 4:30-6:30 p.m., Thurs., Dec. 13 Where: Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave. More info.: RSVP at kcowham@durangocpas.com

sales wouldn’t even have to collect sales tax. The threshold, or limit, is $100,000 or 200 transactions per year. This means that if an online retailer sells more than $100,000 of product or has more than 200 individual transactions in one year, they have to pay sales taxes in that state. If they fall under that limit, they are not required to collect sales tax. So far, 22 other states have taken up the same numbers, including Colorado. But this threshold does not apply to Colorado businesses making online sales in Colorado. It’s only for outof-state retailers. Therefore, any online transaction between a Colorado business and a Colorado resident – no matter how small – will have to include the proper sales tax for the city, county or special district. “Everyone recognizes this is an issue,” Nelson said. A couple of years ago – even before the Wayfair decision – the state created the Sales and Use Tax Simplification Task Force, whose job was to find ways to simplify Colorado’s complex tax structure without stepping on any home-rule city toes. Nelson said they’ve made some baby steps in the right direction, like creating one website where all the different tax entities could be found, but these don’t address any issues created by the Department of Revenue’s newest emergency rule. “I don’t have any good news in terms of solving the compliance issues,” Nelson admitted. “We have a lot more questions than answers right now.”

Taking some time For Schertz and others, they understand why cities and towns across the country are looking to collect taxes from large online retailers, like Amazon, and they support those efforts. But the tax collection system in Colorado is difficult to navigate, he said, and most retailers have no idea what to do with these new rules. “When you have a small business, you have a tough time with that bottom line,” Dietz said. “I’m hoping someone decides that we need to look at this again.” And, it seems, someone may just be taking a second look. When the Colorado Department of Revenue first announced the emergency rule change for online sales, the deadline to comply was Dec. 1. Not long after, they said there would be a grace period and gave businesses until March to comply. Just this week, they extended the grace period again. “We have heard from legislators and the business community, and the Department of Revenue agrees it is important for the state to take the time to get this right,” Colorado Department of Revenue executive director Mike Hartman said in a statement. “As such, the Department is extending the automatic reprieve … from the current March 31 deadline to May 31. We will evaluate the need for another extension as May 31 nears. “This additional time will give the state legislature an opportunity to find innovative solutions to streamline and simplify our sales tax collection laws in accordance with the wishes of the residents of Colorado.” n

1480 E. 2nd Ave. & 15th St. (old Mac Ranch, near Basin Printing) 970-764-4577 • www.jimmysmusic.supply telegraph

Dec. 13 2018 n

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LocalNews

Lawmakers introduce orphan mine bill Latest attempt at ‘good Samaritan’ legislation would address 15 pilot projects by Missy Votel

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ith the U.S. legislative season winding down, lawmakers from Colorado have made a last-ditch effort to re-introduce an old friend. Republicans Rep. Scott Tipton and Sen. Cory Gardner introduced the Good Samaritan Remediation of Orphan Hardrock Mines Act of 2018 last week. The bill, the latest in at least a dozen iterations over the years, seeks to shield environmental and stewardship groups, so-called “good Samaritans,” from legal liability when it comes to cleaning up abandoned mines littering the West. However, unlike the ghosts of Samaritan bills past, this act has a slight twist. It would operate as a pilot program, administered by the Environmental Protection Agency, and identify 15 sites for cleanup. “The Good Samaritan Remediation of Orphan Hardrock Mines Act of 2018 will set up a pilot project to allow good Samaritans to clean up abandoned mine sites, improving water quality and providing our communities with a valuable service, all while maintaining strong permitting

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and environmental controls,” Rep. Tipton said in a statement. As area residents are well aware, particularly after the 2015 Gold King Mine spill, abandoned mines pose a serious threat to the environment as well as the economy and recreation. With some 500,000 abandoned mines across the country, including dozens in the San Juans alone, it is simply not feasible for the federal government to administer all the clean up. This is where good Samaritan groups could step in to help. However, most are dissuaded because assuming a clean up opens them up to getting sued under the Comprehensive Environmental Response, Compensation and Liability Act (CERCLA) and the Clean Water Act. Tipton and Gardner’s new bill would allow “qualifying” good Samaritans to clean up without the fear of assuming liability. “The Gold King Mine spill was a reminder felt across the Third Congressional District and State of Colorado that when it comes to cleaning up abandoned mine sites, the status quo is unacceptable,” said Tipton. “There are many good Samaritan groups that have the technical expertise,

Legislators have yet again introduced a bill aimed at removing legal obstacles for so-called “good Samaritan” groups cleaning up abandoned mine sites, such as the dozens that litter the San Juand. But some environmental groups say such bills don’t go far enough and let mining companies off the hook too easily./File photo financial ability and desire to conduct successful remediation at abandoned mines, but they are discouraged from taking on projects due to current regulations.” At least one potential good Samaritan group, Trout Unlimited, has given the bill its blessing. “Abandoned mines represent the single greatest and least addressed threat to our nation’s waters,” Chris Wood, President and CEO of Trout Unlimited, said. “We look forward to working with anyone who wants to make our waters cleaner and our lands healthier and build strong, bipartisan support to pass good Samaritan legislation.” Industry group the National Mining Association, has also endorsed the bill. “Legacy mine sites have remained abandoned for decades or centuries,” Hal Quinn, NMA’s President and CEO, said. “These bills are vital to clearing the obstacles that are impeding remediation. Good Samaritans should be supported in their efforts to clean up these sites without fear of incurring additional legal liability. This is common-sense legislation that Congress has discussed for years. Now is the time for action.” However, the bill is not without its detractors. Some environmental groups argue that change should come with an overhaul of the antiquated 1872 Mining Law, which they say lets mining companies off the hook for remediation. Specifically, these groups would like to see some kind of funding mechanism set up whereby mining companies pay into abandoned mine cleanup. Furthermore, they add, the problem is simply too massive for well-meaning but financially ill-

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equipped nonprofit groups. “The real solution to the problem is reform of the 1872 Mining Law, complete with a dedicated funding mechanism designed specifically to pay for the cleanup,” Lauren Pagel, Policy Director of Earthworks, said in a statement. “The American West is littered with abandoned mines that shackle taxpayers with an Environmental Protection Agency-estimated $50 billion in costs. Good Samaritans, no matter their intentions, lack the resources to dent a problem of this scale. And this bill does nothing to address disasters like Gold King.” So far, the bill has yet to attract a Democratic sponsor – namely Sen. Michael Bennet, who worked with Gardner on a similar bill in 2016. Although the session is waning and the bill will likely die yet another quiet death, Bennet has left the door open to compromise in the new year. “Abandoned mines across Colorado and the West need to be cleaned up,” he told The Colorado Sun. “We are willing to work with anyone to pass good Samaritan legislation with appropriate environmental safeguards. We have a strong history of working together in our delegation and have made a lot of progress on a bipartisan and comprehensive solution to address this issue. We should restart the conversation in that spirit.” Gardner and Tipton’s bill would bar any mining companies from working on sites they previously owned or operated. It would, however, allow those companies to clean up other abandoned mines. It also bars “re-mining,” resuming mining at a site that’s already been cleaned up. n


MountainTownNews Do pushups and be clear of aims in life ASPEN – Klaus Obermeyer celebrated his 99th birthday in Aspen recently with a Bavarian band, servings of apfelstrudel mit schlag and scores of friends, family and co-workers. The celebrated purveyor of winter sporting wear was in his customary good cheer when Scott Condon of The Aspen Times later caught up with him. “There’s so much new. It’s a dynamic world that we’re living in and dancing in, which makes it very wonderful,” he explained. “It never gets to wondering, ‘Oh, what should we do next?’ There’s always opportunity to make things better.” Obermeyer, who founded Sport Obermeyer in 1947, said a fundamental operating principle for the company, as for his life, has been to create win-win situations. “Never make a win-lose. That keeps everybody happy,” he said. “Our suppliers are happy, our dealers are happy, and consumers are happy. So whatever it takes to get a win-win, that’s kind of the thing to do.” In longevity, it helps to have good genes. A great-grandfather of his lived to be 112. If he lives to 103, he will have skied for 100 years. He takes care not to eat more food than he can burn off in exercise. He swims half a mile every day, half breast-stroke and half on his back. “I think we (receive) by nature a gift by having a body,” he said. “If we don’t use it, it goes to hell, so it’s really important to keep using it. Do pushups and whatever you can to keep it going.” The near-centenarian also testifies to the virtue of the martial art of aikido. “In aikido, you don’t hurt your partner, you control your partner,” he explained. “If you hurt him, he may come back two days later and hit you with a two-by-four. Aikido brings about peace. Aikido exists spiritually as well as physically. The older you get, the more you use the spiritual part and a little less on the mat.” Obermeyer also spoke about the importance of intentionality in life. “It’s kind of like a dance on a floor that’s moving. But you always end up where you aim for … It’s a powerful thing,” he said.

Green deconstruction in Silverthorne SILVERTHORNE – The old Robinson Dairy located along the Blue River in Silverthorne has largely been taken down. In its place will arise a hotel, a very small one, to be created from 16 prefabricated shipping containers. The working title for this small hotel: The Pad. The Summit Daily News explains that Rob Baer and Lynn Parrish Baer chose to disassemble the old dairy using a technique called green deconstruction. They’re trying to recycle the building as can best be done. Parts of this creative deconstruction were easier than others. The old-growth redwood siding will get incorporated into the new hotel. Railings, doors, cabinetry and lighting can get recycled through programs such as Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore. But other things like the roof, framing and Styrofoam will, for various reasons, get carted off to the landfill. Up the road a couple miles at Dillon, officials have started debating a question that returns again and again in ski towns: How tall is too tall for buildings, even amid mountains that climb to 12,000 feet and higher? Dillon town codes allow buildings up to 50 feet in the business core, plus another 8 feet for uninhabitable architectural elements. Codes allow lesser heights in outlying districts. A recently approved condo complex called Uptown 240 will actually be able to reach 68 feet, because of a variance. That, explains the Summit Daily, has triggered the new debate. One sentiment is that the code needs to be more straightforward, to let developers know explicitly what will be allowed and what will not. Another thought is that developers, if they cannot build vertically, will instead build horizontally, to achieve the same mass.

Turning a profit and reducing emissions ASPEN – The composting program operated in conjunction with the Pitkin County Landfill has not only been reducing greenhouse gas emissions, it’s actually turning a profit. The Aspen Times reports the composting operation in 2017 made almost $371,000 from sales of soil and other compost byproducts. This is in stark contrast to another composting operation at a landfill about 50 miles west that loses more than $329,000 a year.

Cathy Hall, the landfill director in Pitkin County, credits a program called SCRAPS as a primary reason for the success of the program. The joint Aspen-Pitkin County program has put bear-proof bins at various locations where the compost can be deposited. It was launched with aid of a $200,000 grant from the state of Colorado. Rates also matter. Regular landfill trash costs $86 a ton. Compostable material costs $15 a ton. That has induced businesses to participate in composting. City Market, the dominant grocery retailer in western Colorado, began composting in January as part of its parent Kroger corporation’s “Zero Hunger-Zero Waste” initiative. In Aspen, the grocery store fills three commercial-sized dumpsters with compostable material thrice weekly.

Why fires now burn hotter and larger KETCHUM, Idaho – As snow piled higher and cold deepened, deep thinkers from Ketchum and Sun Valley gathered to ponder various futures, including one of more wildfires. If natural, fire was rare when skiing came of age in the mid-20th century. As of 1985, in Blaine County – where Ketchum is located – no wildfire had occurred in decades. Now, there’s more woody material with higher energy and less moisture. That produces more energy out of any given square foot of fuels now as compared to 1985-94. This contributes to the quick spread and extreme nature of wildfires across the West. “What used to be high is now simply average,” said Matt Filbert, a wildfire expert with the Sawtooth National Forest. “Consequently, if there’s a fire, it grows quickly.” Fires are getting bigger, too. Relatively close to Ketchum, the Beaver Creek fire in 2013 burned 111,000 acres. Filbert said conditions have ripened for a 200,000-acre fire. Think also of the sagebrush steppes. Historically, sagebrush terrain in the Wood River Valley would burn every 30 to 100 years, he said. Now, it’s burning every five to 15 years. At mid-elevation forests, the fire interval used to be 120-plus years. Wildfires have quadrupled in the western United States since 1986, said Katherine Himes, director of the McClure Center for Public Policy, and wildfire season now lasts seven month compared to five in the 1970s.

New policy to make wolves more afraid? COOKE CITY, Mont. – To see wildlife in Yellowstone, you need to go to the Lamar Valley, on the park’s northeast side, where there are buffalo aplenty but also wolves. And so it was several years ago that two Colorado visitors rounded a bend in the road to see a mob, 80 or so people, both young and old, their most common denominator being optical equipment glued to their eyes. These were the wolf watchers and, when we had squeezed our Subaru through them and joined their ranks, there were wolves lounging thereabouts in the relative heat of a warm October afternoon. The wolf pack kept its distance, along Pebble Creek, until the shadows grew long, then one by one, and in pairs, they vanished into the dark timber. These wolves seemed wary, given their circumstances. Nobody will shoot them in Yellowstone National Park, but outside the park boundary in Montana, there’s a hunting season for wolves. Montana allows up to four wolves to be killed annually. The Jackson Hole News&Guide says it’s among the most conservative harvest quotas in a state that does not cap harvests in most areas. But it’s too many for Deby Dixon, who lives in Gardiner, Mont., and tells the story of a wolf called 926F. It was habituated to people such as the wolf watchers of the Lamar Valley and was legally killed near Cooke City. Doug Smith, senior wildlife biologist in Yellowstone, told the News&Guide he wants to adopt tactics that cause wolves to be more wary of people. Now, when he and others see wolves crossing the road, he leaves them alone. He’d like a new policy that condones hazing wolves, using either paintballs or beanbags. The National Park Service in 2002 looked into the issue. At that time, Smith was among those who concluded that aversive conditioning and hazing wouldn’t be effective at reversing the behavior of Yellowstone’s wolves that, when wandering outside the park, weren’t wary enough of people pointing guns, not cameras, at them.

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Dec. 13, 2018 n 11


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dayinthelife

Powder to the People by Stephen Eginoire

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here’s nothing quite like the San Juan Mountains freshly bl keted in snow. And, after a prolonged drought, the recent arri of Old Man Winter has been thoroughly quenching. Here glimpse of snow-covered terrain that is sure to be a sight for sore ey

A wintery scene in Paradise Basin.

Uninterested in a potential photo op, a porcupine makes a slow retreat. Dec. 13, 2018

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The almighty San Juans in full winter regalia.

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Vestal, Arrow and Electric peaks seen from Molas Pass. Dec. 13, 2018 n 13


thesecondsection The vacation-rental-turned-bar, The Nugget, opened Dec. 2 after a whirlwind remodel. The bar serves all Colorado brews (and PBR) and food from the Backcountry Gourmet food truck, parked outside./Photo by Stephen Eginoire

A golden opportunity The Nugget reborn as the north county’s newest hot spot by Missy Votel

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ypically, “north county” and “night life” are two phrases not uttered in the same sentence, unless, of course, one is referring to the resident deer population. But now, high-country revelers and thirsty adventurers north of Shalona have a reason to rejoice. There’s a brand new option for bellying up and rehashing the day’s epic feats on the slopes, singletrack and scenic byways. Say hello to The Nugget. Chances are, you’ve passed this once-nondescript log cabin, tucked in the trees south of Purgatory’s Gelande lot, many times. Maybe you even stayed there once or twice during its vacation rental heyday. But after an extensive and whirlwind renovation this fall, the 821-square foot abode was reborn as north La Plata County’s newest – and according to our calculations, second – apres watering hole. (The OG, the venerable Olde School House, of course needs no ,introduction. But we’ll do it anyway lest it’s been a while since class was in session. Arguably, Purgy’s and Sow’s Ear could also be on this short list, so we’ll give them a shout out too, even though we’re pretty sure they don’t have shot skis.) Ironically enough, the idea to reinvent The Nugget as a bar happened – you guessed it – over drinks.

14 n Dec. 13, 2018

“It started as ‘napkin talk,’” owner Kevin Wright said. “And eventually, it became more serious.” Wright, the father of two daughters, ages 2 and 5, moved to Durango two years ago from San Diego. His story is similar to many – with young kids, he was looking to escape city life for something a little more family friendly. He owned land in Durango and had visited the area many times, first as a college student in Albuquerque at UNM and later during regular ski trips. “We came here quite often,” he said, reminiscing of his college stays at the former Red Lion hotel downtown. After leaving the ocean behind, Wright and his family settled in the Animas Valley, and he bought the property where The Nugget is located. He spiffed up the interior and rented it out to vacationers for two years. At the same time, he also went through the county permitting process to add two more vacation rentals on the property. And that’s when it sunk in. These people – not to mention ones staying nearby at the resort and surrounding neighborhoods – needed somewhere close by to eat and drink. “It seemed like an unfulfilled window in the market,” he said. To help fill that window, Wright and his business partner (and UNM buddy) Joe Valerio began an epic and heroic renovation that started Sept. 30. “We moved everything out and completely demol-

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ished the interior,” said Wright. “We worked 14-hour days for two months.” With the help of local builder Brian Anderson, of 9318 Construction, they opened their doors Dec. 2. While completely new, The Nugget will be instantly familiar to aficionados of classic ski country drinking establishments. There are plenty of nods to the golden era of ski bumming – reclaimed wood from the old fence out front, a plethora of long, straight skis, a 70sinspired logo, antlers galore and yes, the requisite shot ski. But there are modern comforts, too, including several big screen TVs (equipped with NFL Ticket), cozy leather couches and barstools that beckon you to stay awhile, expansive mountain views and a well-appointed rustic chic décor (if that’s a thing). But rest your worried, dirtbagging minds – there is not a stuffy, uptight bone in the place. We’re pretty sure that’s impossible with $2 drafts of PBR on tap. All. The. Time. (No – not a typo. We warned them that divulging this publicly could result in a thirsty mob, but they insisted.) Keeping things downhome and on the down low was exactly what the owners had in mind with The Nugget. “Our concept was to create a community feel,” said Wright. To that end, the bar is square instead of linear, giving folks a chance to chat with neighbors on all sides.4


In addition, the high-tops along the perimeter of the space face the interior as well, adding to the communal vibe. Upstairs in the loft, there’s one long table that overlooks the main floor, adding to the open feel. “In other bars, you have your back to the door,” said Wright. “We wanted to make it feel really welcome.” Plans call for upgrading the exterior space come spring thaw, adding gas firepits and lawn games. “So many families travel through here in the summer, we wanted to give them a place where the kids can run around and you can bring the dog,” Wright said. And if all this talk of PBRS and lawn games is making you hungry, that’s where the adjacent Backcountry Gourmet food truck comes in. The Nugget location is the second for Backcountry Gourmet, which has gained a cultlike following for its sliders and burritos at 11th Street Station in downtown Durango. Best of all, the food truck and bar open at noon just in time for the lunch crowd – which has been quite brisk so far. “For some people, it’s too expensive to eat at the mountain, and the School House doesn’t open till later,” said Wright. “We appreciate (Backcountry Gourmet) taking a chance and coming up here.” (And speaking of the mountain, as of now, there is no sanctioned direct route between Purgatory and The Nugget, although rumor has it that a few enterprising souls have made the harrowing, and likely illegal, ski-in, ski-out trek. Do not try this unless

you have a death wish.) Another perk to The Nugget’s offerings is the Nugget shuttle – the brightly bedecked Suburban often docked near the bar’s entrance. According to Wright, it’s available for free on weekends and holidays to anyone within a 5-mile radius (sorry, that does not include town, but nice try.) Wright sees it as a way to get more folks out of their condos or rentals and enjoying the north county’s attractions. “If I was new here and didn’t know where to go, I’d probably just end up sitting in my condo, but that’s not fun,” he said. But more so than visitors, The Nugget strives to cater to the locals – the folks who live, work and play in the north county. And by hiring local workers and contractors, they also hope to infuse some life into the area’s economy. So far, the plan seems to be working, as evidenced by the packed parking lot most afternoons. Wright said many patrons walk in with stories and memories of the old place, which according to north county legend, was built along the highway, near Electra Lake, in 1969. As the story goes, it was bought from CDOT – which needed to move the cabin to widen the road – for $1 sometime in the 1980s and moved to its current location. “It’s like an icon,” said Wright. “We get a lot of people walking in and saying they once stayed here or partied here and have great stories.” In addition, on the bar’s opening day, a local band (People We Know) stopped by for an impromptu performance, and Buck’s

Nugget owners Kevin Wright, left, and Joe Valerio, right, sport some of their barwear outside the bar earlier this week./Photo by Stephen Eginoire Livery showed up with its horse-drawn sleigh. There was even a longtime local (who goes by the name “Andy” – you would know him if you lived up there) who had his birthday party at the new space. “Everyone has been so welcoming,” said Wright. “We made it as a locals hangout. It’s

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a great place.” Added Valerio, “It’s been a lot of smiles and a lot of good conversations.” The Nugget is open just south of Purgatory from 12 noon – 10 p.m. Mon. – Thurs.; 12 noon – 11 p.m. Fri.; 11 a.m - 11 p.m. Sat.; and 11 a.m. – 10 p.m. Sun. n

Dec. 13, 2018 n 15


FlashinthePan

Whisky business by Ari LeVaux

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ast summer, the Wall Street Journal reported that U.S. mayonnaise sales had fallen by 6.7 percent since 2012. A subsequent article in Philadelphia magazine sought to explain that drop by blaming millennials for having “killed mayonnaise” with their whacky tastes in condiments. It claims they are eschewing the special creme in favor of, “... kefir and ajvar and chimichurri and gochujang.” A debate raged on social media over whether or not that was true. And while the article did quote me, I can’t agree with its conclusion. The decline of mayo is due to nothing but semantics. Mayonnaise has been held back ever since it was decided, arbitrarily, that it must contain egg. In any practical, culinary sense that matters to the consumer of mayonnaise, this definition is wrong. But it’s endorsed by USDA, and agreed to by producers, consumers and the people who track drops in mayonnaise sales. To understand what is really going on, we must understand what mayo really is. And to understand mayonnaise, we must start with fat. As Samin Nosratexplains in her cookbook Salt Fat Acid Heat, fat absorbs and transmits flavor to every corner of the dish, and all around your mouth. Fat is the great spreader of flavor, and mayonnaise is the apex of spreadable fat. It is fat that is ready to be applied wherever needed. Meanwhile, the texture of mayonnaise lubricates food, which is especially welcome in dry foods like canned tuna or in a sandwich. The mayonnaise helps the food go down easier, but it is a fine line between lubricity and slime, as many a hater would agree. In addition to its flavor-spreading action, mayonnaise happens to contain Nosrat’s two favorite flavors: salt and acid. To recap: mayonnaise, the great spreader of flavors, has the world’s two most important flavors already built in. As for thermal heat, Nosrat’s fourth pillar of good food, mayonnaise may not be cooked but nonetheless undergoes a transformation that is every bit as meaningful: emulsification. Oil does not mix with water, or watery fluids like vinegar or lime juice. At least, it won’t stay mixed. No matter how vigorously one shakes a jar of oil and vinegar it will quickly separate. An emulsion is that rare mixture of immiscibles that won’t, or can’t, go their separate ways,

thanks to the assistance of a neutral third party, known as the emulsifier. Per USDA, the only permitted emulsifier in mayonnaise is egg yolk. The sales data that the Wall Street Journal relied upon only took egg-based mayo into consideration, while ignoring the explosion in egg-free mayo. The egg-free stuff is usually labeled vegan. And if you get the right brand, egg-free mayo can be that rare vegan product that is better than the non-vegan version it’s trying to imitate. It’s hard to see how mayonnaise would benefit from the sulfurous aroma or slimy texture of raw egg. Mustard, which is also sulfurous, helps hide and obfuscate the egg sulphur in most egg mayo recipes. Too many egg mayo recipes call for whole eggs, which is baffling. Mayo has enough lubricity without raw egg whites, which contribute nothing to the emulsion. For years, my favorite mayo has been an egg-free variety called Vegenaise, which uses a lecithin-like protein derived from peas as its emulsifier. I love everything about it, the flavor, texture, action, lubricity. Vegenaise makes all store-bought egg mayo taste a bit gross to me, but I still have a soft and creamy spot for my own homemade egg mayo, which I make with a mere trace of yolk. No whites; mostly oil and lime juice. It tastes like a cross between Vegenaise and my first love, Hellman’s/Best Foods, which isn’t a bad combination. Under magnification, mayo presents as denselypacked, compressed spheroids. These spheroids are oil droplets, each one completely surrounded by the emulsifiers, which cover the entire surface of the droplets and prevent them from touching any other oil droplets and coagulating into a blob. The trick with making mayo is adding the oil slowly enough, and incorporating it completely enough, such that each droplet is completely coated with emulsifier. If oil is added too quickly, the emulsion will break like Humpty Dumpty, never to be put back together again. I usually just eat grapeseed oil Vegenaise, but when I make mayo at home, I make it with egg, and I make it by hand. Using a whisk provides a point of contact between the mayo and I, allowing me to feel the emulsion as it develops and becomes capable of supporting its own weight. While it’s common for a mayonnaise recipe to call for two whole eggs per cup of oil, this recipe uses but one yolk

to emulsify 3 cups of oil. Olive oil can be used but will make a yellowish-green mayo, and one yolk will only do 2 cups. You may use a blender or food processor if you wish, but you won’t have the same connection with the emulsion that you have with a whisk and a stainless steel bowl. One Yolk Mayo One egg yolk, carefully separated Two cups of light oil (sunflower or grapeseed) 9 teaspoons lime juice Salt Optional: pressed garlic Measure a half-cup of oil. In the bowl, whisk the yolk, a quarter teaspoon of salt, a half teaspoon of lime juice, and a teaspoon or less of pressed garlic, if using. Then, whisk a quarter teaspoon of oil into the seasoned yolk, going around the bowl 15 to 20 times with the whisk. It will almost immediately stiffen. Add another quarter teaspoon of oil, followed by another 15 to 20 rotations. Do this 18 more times, for a total of 20 quarter-teaspoons. With each addition the emulsion loosens a little, only to re-stiffen as you whisk. The emulsion will start gathering into a ball in the middle of your whisk, and you will have to smack the handle against the rim of the bowl to knock it out. Your wrist may begin aching. Keep going. It should remain smooth and silky the entire time, never grainy, and become stiffer with whisking. After those first 20 patient, tedious, quarter-teaspoons, whisk in a second half-teaspoon of lime juice. Begin adding oil a half teaspoon at a time until the initial halfcup of oil is used. Measure out a second half-cup, and add this oil a teaspoon at a time, adding another 3½ teaspoons of lime juice along the way, half a teaspoon at a time, after every six or so teaspoons of oil. You now have a cup of mayo that tastes and looks like perfected Best Foods. You could stop here and be happy. I prefer to emulsify another cup or two of oil before calling it good. The second cup can be added a tablespoon at a time, with another 4½ teaspoons lime juice and another pinch of salt added along the way. After the second cup of oil, the emulsion becomes increasingly finicky, and delicious. I’ve been able to get to about 3 cups of oil emulsified by a single yolk, before losing control (of the emulsion). The flavor is lighter, and it doesn’t coat your mouth the way a more eggy mayo will. As you approach 3 cups, you will have to add oil evermore slowly and carefully, or else it will break. And if it breaks, and makes that instantaneous transformation from elastic modulus to scrambled eggs that won’t increase in viscosity no matter how much you whisk, your mayonnaise is toast. No millennials, not the kind of toast that has avocado on it. n

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16 n Dec. 13, 2018

telegraph


TopShelf

Best of 2018 & Cover Night by Chris Aaland

player Phil Barker is one of the top songwriters in bluegrass and has always sang some of TM’s most high and lonesome material. y full-time job is development director at KSUT, but I get On the new record, banjo player and co-founder Jesse Langlais to dabble in music each week by hosting the Monday gets to sing, too, with “Life and Debt” becoming the latest in a “Afternoon Blend” and my “Tales of the New West” string of Townie faves. Fiddler Bobby Britt returns to the fold after show on Wednesday nights. The blends are heavy on Americana, a brief hiatus to pursue graduate studies overseas. There’s even unwith additional genres like rock, R&B, jazz, blues, bluegrass and derstated drums throughout! world music thrown in for variety. “Tales of the New West” is 8. Paul Cauthen, “Have Mercy (EP).” Imagine that the more focused on country, alt-country and bluegrass. I get exposed demon spawn of Johnny Cash and David Bowie grows up to be a to dozens of new records each week. guitar-toting, acid-tripping preacher and you’ll probably walk the If you’re searching for same path as Cauthen. This some stocking stuffers, here’s seven-song set oozes glorious a baker’s dozen of the Top psychedelic country soul. Shelf best albums of 9. Dave Alvin & Jim2018, starting with my mie Dale Gilmore, Album of the Year: “Downey to Lubbock.” 1. Kyle Craft, “Full CirThe album title says it all: cle Nightmare.” On just his Alvin, a native of the L.A. second album, Craft has suburb who rose to fame emerged as the heir apparent with 1980s punk/rockabilly to ’70s glam rock. Channeling act The Blasters meets David Bowie, Marc Bolan and Gilmore, the Zen cool of Ian Hunter, Craft’s Shreveport, Lubbock’s greatest postLa., roots add just enough Buddy Holly export, The twang to harken back to the Flatlanders. For five decades, greatest era of the Rolling both men have blazed the Stones. This record stinks of path for what’s now known sex, drugs and rock & roll. as Americana. They were 2. Calexico, “The even labelmates on HighThread That Keeps Us.” Tone Records in the ’90s. But There may be no more cononly recently have they sistent band in the history of started working together, American roots music than first as an acoustic touring these Tucsonans. Part indieduo, then with this fullrock, part alt-country and length, blues-laden album of part cumbia, each song on originals and covers. Use your Christmas break to perfect playing your favorite Talking each album is layered in 10. Mary Gauthier, Heads tune. David Bryne & company are the next honorees of KDUR beauty. “Rifles & Rosary Beads.” Cover Night, happening March 16, 2019. 3. Brandi Carlile, “By All 11 tunes were co-written the Way, I Forgive You.” It’s Brandi’s world now. You just live with veterans or their spouses. I can think of no record that capin it. Consider yourself blessed to be able to listen to her hearttures the enduring pain and resilient human spirit that drives vetwrenching tunes. erans and their families. Songs like “The War After the War,” 4. Aaron Lee Tasjan, “Karma for Cheap.” Tasjan has “Soldiering On” and “Brothers” are essential listening. been kicking around for a decade but has really gained steam 11. Lindi Ortega, “Liberty.” Who would’ve thought a child since signing with New West Records in 2016. While his sophoof Canadian and Mexican parents would craft such a texturally dimore album, “Silver Tears,” was a rootsier affair, its follow-up, verse collection of goth-country and Spaghetti Western music? Or“Karma for Cheap,” channels 2000s-era Tom Petty with just a tega’s latest album, recorded with the Nashville duo Steelism, is one pinch of Beck’s urban cool. of the most beautiful– and one of the darkest – albums of the year. 5. John Hiatt, “The Eclipse Sessions.” Twenty-plus al12. Whitey Morgan & the 78s, “Hard Times and White bums into his career, John Hiatt would certainly be forgiven for Lines.” The best outlaw country comes out of Flint, Mich., you mailing it in. Trouble is, Hiatt doesn’t have any idea how to rest might ask? Blasphemy! But it’s true. The hard-scrabble Morgan spins on his laurels. “The Eclipse Sessions” ranks right up there with his yarns of the hard life on “Honky Tonk Hell” & the title track, while finest works, “Bring the Family,” “Stolen Moments” and “Slow evoking the spirit of ZZ Top in a stellar cover of “Just Got Paid.” Turning.” Equal parts elegant and gruff, “Eclipse” is yet another 13. Western Centuries, “Songs from the Deluge.” Of all enduring classic from a tunesmith who has few peers. the bands in this list, the only one I saw live in 2018 was Western 6. Jesse Dayton, “The Outsider.” Dayton, a native of BeauCenturies. Their two-hour late-night show at the Durango Arts mont, Texas, who was weaned on George Jones, Hank Williams Center was the highlight of Meltdown for me this past April. and Lefty Frizzell, is best known as a sideman. He’s one of the Their second album was released just prior to the festival. The most in-demand and versatile guitarists in the Americana uniSeattle-based Centuries is a three-headed monster that lets verse, having worked with artists ranging from Johnny Cash and singers/songwriters Cahalen Morrison, Ethan Lawton and Jim Waylon Jennings to Rob Zombie and the Supersuckers. His 10th Miller share vocals and frontman duties. There’s equal parts solo album weaves politically charged tunes like “Charlottesville” honky-tonk, blue-eyed soul and psychedelic touches. and “Belly of the Beast” with the humorous booze-drugs-and-sex Some of the best records of all time were released by the Talkromp, “Tried to Quit (But I Just Quit Tryin’”). There’s acoustic ing Heads during the ’70s and ’80s. It’s fitting that the next blues, country twang and gritty rock in one tidy package. KDUR Cover Night on March 16 honors David Byrne and 7. Town Mountain, “New Freedom Blues.” Longtime facompany. Bands that are interested will need to mark 8 a.m., vorites of the Durango Bluegrass Meltdown, Town Mountain has Mon., Dec. 17, on their calendars. That’s when they can email always been primarily a vehicle for Robert Greer’s voice (the best kdurcovernight@gmail.com to reserve their slot and songs. Bands in bluegrass the past decade, IMHO). Yet with each passing will be given 10 minutes of stage time on Cover Night. album, they’ve become a cohesive unit with three lyricists and Say something once, why say it again? Email me at chrisa@gobrain now, for the first time ever, three strong vocalists. Mandolin storm.net. n

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Dec. 13, 2018 n 17


onthetown

Thursday13 Yoga Flow, 8 a.m., Pine River Library. Beginner Tai Chi, 9:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center. ​Baby Meetup with Durango Café au Play, 9:30-11:30 a.m., 2307 Columbine. durangocafeauplay.org. Baby Meetup, 9:30-11:30 a.m., Columbine House at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 419 San Juan Dr. Toddler Storytime, 10:30 a.m., Durango Library. Office Hour with City Councilor Dick White, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., City Hall, 949 2nd Ave. Afterschool Awesome! for K-5th graders, 3:30 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. Drop-in Tennis, all ages, 4 p.m., Fort Lewis College. Kidz Klub for elementary school kids, 4 p.m., Ignacio Library. 563-9287.

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Adulting 101: Mindfulness, 4-5 p.m., Durango Public Library. “Doc Swords,” PTSD Social Club for Veterans, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. Andrew Sickler, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St. Holiday Open House and Luminaria, 5-9 p.m., Mesa Verde National Park. www.nps.gov or 529-4608. Sitting Meditation, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave. Animas River North & Oxbow Park River Access Project, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Durango Rec Center. www.dura ngogov.org. La Plata Quilters Guild, 6 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds. 799-1632. Life Hacks for Adults: Stress Management with Maureen Fallon-Cyr, 6-7 p.m., Durango Public Library. Scholarship Award Recital, featuring Music in the Mountains scholarship recipients, 6:30 p.m., Roshong Recital Hall, Fort Lewis College. 385-6820. Splitboarding 101 with Weston Splitboards, 6:30-8 p.m., Backcountry Experience, 1205 Camino del Rio. Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982. 4

18 n Dec. 13, 2018

Inspirational soul food: Michael Franti comes to the Community Concert Hall industrial and household products with bamboo in an efWhat: Michael Franti acoustic set and screening of his fort to curb deforestation; and Sive Mazinyo and Busisidocumentary “Stay Human” wwe Vazi, who help inspire their community of Port When: 3 and 7 p.m., Tues., Dec. 18 Elizabeth, South Africa, through music and education. Where: Community Concert Hall In the film, Franti also reflects on his own journey fac“The reason I started playing music is that I thought I ing adversity as a child, strugcould change the world,” gling to find his voice as a singer and activist Michael musician, and how he came Franti says in the trailer to to find inspiration. Through “Stay Human,” his new docuthe film, he hopes to inspire mentary. “I’ve spent 20 years others in facing their own on the road. Everywhere I go daily challenges as well as I see a battle taking place bethose of our world. tween cynicism and opti“I hope to inspire people mism.” to become changemakers by And, as anyone whose seen utilizing creativity, tenacity Franti live in recent years and heart to face our daily knows, he, for one, is on the challenges as individuals, and side of optimism. In a quest to together as citizens of our hold onto humanity and sanity planet,” Franti said. amid these turbulent times, In addition to the Concert Franti brings his message of Hall shows, Franti will also host hope to the Community Cona more intimate opportunity cert Hall next Tues., Dec. 18. for followers and fans at a speAlthough his first show sold cial one-hour meditation proout in days, a second show, at gram at 11a.m., Dec. 18, at 3 p.m., was added, and sevthe Durango Dharma Center. eral tickets remain. A long-time health and wellFranti’s show, which is part ness advocate, Franti is of the Community Foundation founder of Soulshine Bali, a Serving Southwest Colorado’s yoga and wellness retreat in In“Making a Difference” speaker donesia. He will begin the sesseries, will include an acoustic sion with a gratitude set as well as a screening of his meditation followed by a condocumentary. Described as versation about his personal “inspirational soul food,” the journey with meditation and film follows stories of people Even though he probably needs no introduction: other contemplative practices. around the world who have Advance ticket purchase is rechosen to overcome cynicism Michael Franti quired for the Dharma Center with optimism and hope. The event and can be bought at https://bit.ly/ 2B9Lz4S or film was four years in the making, shot during Franti’s exwww.swcommunityfoundation.org. All proceeds go to the haustive touring schedule. Dharma Center and Community Foundation. “These are the stories of people who made me think Tickets for the Concert Hall show are $39 and $57 differently about my life, about music, and what it means to stay human,” he said. “All of us have an unlim- and can be bought at durangoconcerts.com or at the downtown Welcome Center at 8th and Main. ited capacity to love.” The Making a Difference Speaker Series brings naThe four stories highlighted in the film include: Robin tionally known speakers to town to help inspire action Lim, a midwife who opened a birthing clinic in the afterand philanthropy. The Community Foundation infused math of a devastating typhoon in the Philippines; Steve $1.8 million into Southwest Colorado’s nonprofit comand Hope Dezember, a young couple whose love carries munity in 2017 and manages more than $5 million in them through Steve’s battle with ALS; Arief Rabik, an enviinvestments for philanthropists in our community. ronmental scientist in Bali who perfected a way to make

telegraph


Bar D Wranglers Christmas Jubilee, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC www.durango concerts.com.

“A Charlie Brown Christmas,” 7 p.m., show also runs Dec. 15, River Church, 860 Plymouth Dr.

“37 Postcards,” a family comedy, 7:30 p.m., show also runs Dec. 14-15 and 2 p.m., Dec. 16, Sunflower Theatre in Cortez. www.sunflowertheatre.org.

“Seussical the Musical,” 7 p.m., show also runs 1 and 7 p.m., Dec. 15, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

Open Mic & Stand-Up, 8 p.m., El Rancho, 975 Main.

Holiday Disco Ball, featuring pictures with Santa, 7:309 p.m., Chapman Hill. www.durangogov.org or 375-7395.

Karaoke, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave. CONNECT: divaDanielle, Posh Josh with ICite & Prestone, 10 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College.

SoDown & Trufeelz, 9 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Drive. www.animascitytheatre.com

Friday14

Durango Early Bird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA, 45 Stewart St. 769-7615.

BID Coffee & Conversation, 8:30-9:30 a.m., TBK Bank, 259 W. 9th St. Free yoga, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Lively Boutique, 809 Main.

Open Art Studio, 10 a.m., Ignacio Community Library.

Comedy Cocktail open mic stand up, 8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave. Omnivibe performs, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Sunday16 Veterans Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., Elks Club, 901 E. 2nd Ave. 946-4831.

Christmas in Durango in the 1880s, benefit for the Animas Museum, all day event featuring distillery tour, tasters, refreshments and history talk, Durango Craft Spirits, 1120 Main Ave., Suite #2. Register at 247-1919.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

Drop-in Tennis, all ages, 9 a.m., Durango High School.

Gilson Snowboard Demos, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Purgatory.

Intermediate Tai Chi, 10-11 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Teen Café, 7-10 p.m., Mancos Public Library.

Saturday15

Elks National Hoop Shoot Free Throw Competition, for boys & girls ages 8-13, hosted by Durango Elks Lodge #507, check in 9 a.m., event starts, 10 a.m., Escalante Middle School. elkshoopshoot.org or 769-8636.

Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

more, 6-9 p.m., Holiday Inn, 21636 Highway 160. durango co@youngpeopleinrecovery.com.

Stillwater Music’s “Winter Wonder Bands” gala youth performance and fundraiser, featuring live music, silent auction and more, noon-6 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. www.stillwatermusic.org or 247-5095. Irish Jam, 12:30-4 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. Avalanche Awareness Rescue Clinic Part II, sponsored by Friends of the San Juans, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., Molas Pass. www.thesanjuans.org

ICL MakerSpace, 10 a.m., Ignacio Library. 563-9287.

Lactation Support, 10 a.m.-noon, Prenatal Yoga, noon-1 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. 749-9607 or durangocafeauplay.org.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

An Evening of Celtic and Traditional Christmas songs, 6-9 p.m., Irish Embassy Pub, 900 Main Ave. 4031200 or www.theirishembassypub.com.

VFW Indoor Flea Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 1550 Main Ave. 247-0384.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Sensory Storytime, for children on the autism spectrum and differently-abled children, 10:30 a.m., Durango Library.

Monday17

Storytime, 10:30-11 a.m., Durango Public Library.

STEAM Lab: Creativity and Mangoes, ages 5-12, 3:30-4:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

The Met: Live in HD, featuring Verdi’s “La Traviata,” 10:55 a.m., Student Union at FLC. durangoconcerts.com.

Spanish Speaking Parents & Littles Fridays, 3:305:30 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., #201. Free Legal Clinic, 4-5 p.m., Ignacio Library. 563-9287.

Candlelight vigil for Sandy Hook and survivors of gun violence, 4:45-5:30 p.m., Cortez Cultural Center Plaza. www.facebook.com/momsdemandaction.

Open Mic at Smiley Cafe, 5:30-8 p.m., sign up noon-4 p.m.; Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Sign up at 403-5572.

Durango Splitboard Demo, featuring boards, skins, packs, hot chocolate and soup, 6-8 p.m., Chapman Hill ski area. Sponsored by Backcountry Experience. bcexp.com. The Black Velvet Duo, 6-8 p.m., Dalton Ranch Golf Club Lounge.

The Lisa Blue Trio, 6-8 p.m., Durango Craft Spirits, 1120 Main Ave., Suite #2.

Celebrate Sober! With the YPR Ugly Sweater Party, hosted by Young People in Recovery, featuring potluck dinner, white elephant gift exchange, live music and

Funk Jam with Bootyconda, 6-9 p.m., Kaztro performs, 9 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

#!

Durango Winter Sports Foundation Celebration and Hall of Fame Induction for Kirk Rawles, featuring live and silent auctions, food, dancing and more, 5:30-9 p.m., Purgatory Sports, 2615 Main Ave.

$$$

"%

Yoga Storytime, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building Studio 10, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Play day, 10 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield. Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Blondies in Cortez. Learn to Square Dance, with Wild West Squares, 78:30 p.m., Florida Grange, 656 Hwy 172. 903-6478. Books & Brews, hosted by the Durango Public Library, 7-8:30 p.m., Animas Brewing Company, 1560 E. 2nd Ave. Contiki Night, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main.

Tuesday18 Yoga for All, 9 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

More “On the Town” p. 204

Beginner Tai Chi, 9:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center.

! "

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Dec. 13, 2018 n 19


AskRachel Interesting fact: Anyone who wants to claim “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is harmless, non-predatory fun needs to check out the original score. The two parts were written for “Wolf” and “Mouse.” Dear Rachel, My brother is getting married for the third time this summer in California and expects us to go. Really? Maybe if it was the first, or even second, but it’s even HER third or fourth marriage. And gifts? Seriously? Why don’t people like that sneak off to Jamaica and get married? Do I have to go? – Maid of Horror

Dear Plus One, I’d like to think “people like that” don’t sneak off to Jamaica because they want to have all their loved ones nearby for this momentous occasion, because this time, it’s for real and forever, probably. But really, you answered it yourself: it’s for the gifts. Going or not is up to you, but you are obligated to buy them gifts. However, since it’s your brother’s third time around, you are free to buy him gifts that are on their third time around, as well. Thrift store registry, here you come. – Speak now, Rachel

Dear Rachel, Why is it that every car commercial this time of year features someone walking out to find a shiny new car of their dreams with a giant red bow on it sitting in the driveway. Does this re-

OntheTown

ally happen? Ever? Plus - hasn’t this trope been played out since the invention of the wheel, or at least black-and-white television? Has Madison Avenue lost all form of creativity? Where’s Don Draper or some good old-fashioned subliminal advertising when you need it? – Mad Man Dear Restless Consumer, What I want to know is where does one even buy ribbon that wide? All I have at home is the 1/8” stuff that curls real nice with the scissors. I really want to see the commercial where Dad (because of course it would be Dad) wraps the car in saran wrap so Daddy’s Little Girl has to spend 18 hours cutting through it. – Warranty optional, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I’ve thought for years that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is a horrible Christmas song. It’s not sweet and playful and seductive. It’s badgering and entitlement at its peak. So while I’m glad that this abomination is finally under the axe, I’m frustrated that only now is it receiving this attention. Why didn’t all these women from Ella Fitzgerald to Lady Gaga refuse to sing it before now? I don’t want to think that the muchneeded #MeToo is just a bandwagon fad. – Temperature Is Not Consent

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Mouse, Oh, us women are allowed our moments of standing up for ourselves. We’re so easily offended, though, that

everyone knows by next year or the year after we’ll be upset about something else. We’ll return to our house slippers and aprons and forget all about that silly song, which really isn’t so bad after all. Then since we stayed indoors, out of the cold, we can just go ahead and make him a sandwich while we’re in here anyway. – I really can’t stay, Rachel

Free Trauma Conscious Yoga for Veterans and Families, noon-1 p.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

“Herding Chaos,” works by Joan Russel, thru Dec. 22, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

Open Knitting Group, 1-3 p.m., Smiley Café, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Polar Express, thru Jan. 2, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. www.durangotrain.com.

Tween Time: Holiday Gifts, for ages 11-17, 4-5 p.m., Durango Public Library.

3rd annual Winter Art Show, supporting Local First and establishing a Creative District in Durango, exhibit runs thru Jan. 31, Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

from p. 19 Beginner Tai Chi, 9:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center. Storytime, 10:30 a.m., Mancos Library. 533-7600. Take a Breath: Meditate with Michael Franti, proceeds split between Dharma Center and Community Foundation, 11 a.m.-noon, Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave. Pre-purchase tickets at: https://bit.ly/2B9Lz4S Baby Storytime, 2 p.m., Durango Public Library. Michael Franti, performance and showing of self-directed film “Stay Human,” part of the Community Foundation’s Making a Difference series, 3 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC. www.durangoconcerts.com. Inklings, book club for grades 3-5, 4 p.m., Ignacio Library. Rotary Club of Durango, presentation by exchange student Ella Brown, 6 p.m., Strater Hotel. 385-7899. Knit or Crochet with Kathy Graf, 6 p.m., Mancos Public Library. 533-7600. Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. www.henrystratertheatre.com. Trivia Factory, 6:30 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Drive. www.facebook.com/theroost durango.

Wednesday19

Thank the Veterans potluck, Peter Neds and Glenn Keefe perform, 5:30-8:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main. 828-7777. Local Author Meet & Greet and Book Sale, featuring book-signings, open mic, hors d’oeuvres and general holiday cheer, 6 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

20 n Dec. 13, 2018

Death Café, gathering to talk about death and dying, 5:30 p.m., Dec. 20, Mancos Public Library. 533-7600.

Bluegrass Jam, 6-8 p.m., downstairs at The Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

“All In” screening, fundraiser for Four Corners Freeride Team, 6:30 and 8:30 p.m., Dec. 20, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. purgatoryskiteam.org.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 6:30 p.m., BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Dr. 259-5959.

Cherry Poppin’ Daddies’ WWII Xmas Canteen, 7:30 p.m., Dec. 20, FLC Concert Hall. durangoconcerts.com.

Pub Quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Ute Storytelling, 5-7 p.m., Dec. 22, Southern Ute Museum in Ignacio. www.southernutemuseum.org

Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

Ongoing Free Morning Yoga with YogaDurango, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Sat. and Sun., Durango Mountain Institute, Purgatory. San Juan Mountains Association Christmas Tree Lot, thru Dec. 20, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad parking lot. 385-1312.

Morning Meditation, 8 a.m., Pine River Library. Little Readers, 10:30 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Upcoming

Winter Solstice Artisans Market, thru Dec. 22, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

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People We Know New Year’s Eve Celebration, 9 p.m., Dec. 31, Purgatory Resort. purgatoryresort.com.

Deadline for “On the Town” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durango telegraph.com


FreeWillAstrology by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1930, some British mystery writers formed a club to provide each other with artistic support and conviviality. They swore an oath to write their stories so that solving crimes happened solely through the wits of their fictional detectives, and not through “Divine Revelation, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery or Act of God.” I understand that principle, but don’t endorse it for your use in the coming weeks. On the contrary. I hope you’ll be on the alert and receptive to Divine Revelations, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery and Acts of God. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you’re prescribed antibiotics to fight off infection, you should finish the entire round. If you stop taking the meds partway through because you’re feeling better, you might enable a stronger version of the original infector to get a foothold in your system. This lesson provides an apt metaphor for a process you’re now undergoing. As you seek to purge a certain unhelpful presence in your life, you must follow through to the end. Don’t get lax halfway through. Keep on cleansing yourself and shedding the unwanted influence beyond the time you’re sure you’re free of it. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Danish scientist and poet Piet Hein wrote this melancholy meditation: “Losing one glove is painful, but nothing compared to the pain of losing one, throwing away the other, and finding the first one again.” Let his words serve as a helpful warning to you, Gemini. If you lose one of your gloves, don’t immediately get rid of the second. Rather, be patient and await the eventual reappearance of the first. The same principle applies to other things that might temporarily go missing. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert is a soulful observer whose prose entertains and illuminates me. She’s well aware of her own limitations, however. For example, she writes, “Every few years, I think, ‘Maybe now I’m finally smart enough or sophisticated enough to understand Ulysses. So I pick it up and try it again. And by page 10, as always, I’m like, ‘What the hell?’” Gilbert is referring to the renowned 20th-century novel, James Joyce’s masterwork. She just can’t appreciate it. I propose that you make her your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Now is a favorable time to acknowledge and accept that there are certain good influences and interesting things that you will simply never be able to benefit from. And that’s OK!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): More than three centuries ago, Dutch immigrants in New York ate a dessert known as the olykoek, or oily cake: sugarsweetened dough deep-fried in pig fat. It was the forerunner of the modern doughnut. One problem with the otherwise delectable snack was that the center wasn’t always fully cooked. In 1847, a man named Hanson Gregory finally found a solution. Using a pepper shaker, he punched a hole in the middle of the dough, thus launching the shape that has endured until today. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you’re at a comparable turning point. If all goes according to cosmic plan, you will discover a key innovation that makes a pretty good thing even better. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I can’t believe I’m going to quote pop star Selena Gomez. But according to my analysis of the current astrological omens, her simple, homespun advice could be especially helpful to you in the coming weeks. “Never look back,” she says. “If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince.” Just to be clear, Virgo, I’m not saying you’ll experience an adventure that has a plot akin to the Cinderella fairy tale. But I do expect you will benefit from a “loss” as long as you’re focused on what’s ahead of you rather than what’s behind you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Among the pieces of jewelry worn by Elvis Presley were a Christian cross & a Star of David. “I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he testified. In that spirit, & in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you, too, to cover your bases in the coming weeks. Honor important influences. Be extra nice to everyone who might have something to offer you in the future. Show your appreciation for those who have helped make you who you are. And be as open-minded, welcoming & multicultural as you can genuinely be. Your motto: “Embrace the rainbow.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you a gambling addict seeking power over your addiction? If you live in Michigan or Illinois, you can blacklist yourself from all casinos. Anytime your resolve wanes & you wander into a casino, you can be arrested and fined for trespassing. I invite you to consider a comparable approach as you work to free yourself from a bad habit or debilitating obsession. Enlist some help in enforcing your desire to refrain. Create an obstruction that will interfere with your ability to act on negative impulses. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” Author John Green asked that question. I confess that

I’m not entirely comfortable with it. It’s a bit pushy. I find I’m more likely to do remarkable things if I’m not trying too hard to do remarkable things. Nevertheless, I offer it as one of your key themes for 2019. I suspect you will be so naturally inclined to do remarkable things that you won’t feel pressure to do so. Here’s my only advice: up the ante on your desire to be fully yourself; dream up new ways to give your most important gifts; explore all the possibilities of how you can express your soul’s code with vigor and rigor. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” the heroine rejects both the options that are too puny and too excessive. She wisely decides that just enough is exactly right. I think she’s a good role model for you. After your time of feeling somewhat deprived, it would be understandable if you were tempted to crave too much and ask for too much and grab too much. It would be understandable, yes, but mistaken. For now, just enough is exactly right. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1140, two dynasties were at war in Weinsberg, in what’s now southern Germany. Conrad III, leader of the Hohenstaufen dynasty, laid siege to the castle at Weinsberg, headquarters of the rival Welfs dynasty. Things went badly for the Welfs, and just before Conrad launched a final attack, they surrendered. With a last-minute touch of mercy, Conrad agreed to allow the women of the castle to flee in safety along with whatever possessions they could carry. The women had an ingenious response. They lifted their husbands onto their backs and hauled them away to freedom. Conrad tolerated the trick, saying he would stand by his promise. I foresee a metaphorically comparable opportunity arising for you, Aquarius. It won’t be a life-or-death situation like that of the Welfs, but it will resemble it in that your original thinking can lead you and yours to greater freedom. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The National Center for Biotechnology Information reported on a 15-year-old boy who had the notion that he could make himself into a superhero. First, he arranged to get bitten by many spiders in the hope of acquiring the powers of Spiderman. That didn’t work. Next, he injected mercury into his skin, theorizing it might give him talents comparable to the Marvel Comics mutant character named Mercury. As you strategize to build your power and clout in 2019, Pisces, I trust you won’t resort to questionable methods like those. You won’t need to! Your intuition should steadily guide you, providing precise information on how to proceed. And it all starts now.

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Dec. 13, 2018 n 21


classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check. (Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish please call ahead: 259-0133.

Announcements The Durango Voice is Back! Calling all vocalists! The Durango Voice (a fundraiser for Manna) is calling for auditions! If you would like to participate in this very popular event and Funraiser, submit your 2 min song in mp3 format by Jan. 11. Include your name, phone, email & short bio. Send to durangovoice2@gmail.com. Live blind auditions will be held Feb. 24 at the Strater Theatre. Nayda’s Art Holiday Prices - Bold and bright water colors – “Making visual happiness” – Enjoy coffee, conversation and the art show at Fahrenheit Espresso Bar – 201 West Grand Avenue, Mancos, Colorado. The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Wanted ISO Garage/Shop/Storage Rental Dwtn Dgo pref, can be rustic, electric a must. 828-773-9665. Turn Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. Into Cash! at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

HelpWanted 6th Street Liquors Hiring 6th Street Liquors at 273 E. College Dr. is Hiring. Part time & Full time Evening

22 n Dec. 13, 2018

Shifts avail. Shifts are from 5pm-12am. Come in for an interview between 9:30am-4:00pm Mon-Fri with resume or drop off resume. Please, No Calls. KDUR Radio is Looking for Someone to fill the community member position on our Community Advisory Board. This person should live in La Plata County and be a regular listener to KDUR Radio. Monthly meetings/assistance at fund-raisers and miscellaneous duties are the commitment. Interested parties email Liggett_b@fortlewis.edu

Classes/Workshops Give the Gift of Music! Flying Picards Studio of Music Etc. Piano, flute, sax, ukulele lessons. All ages. French tutoring and classes. 390 e. 12th street. 970-764-7443 or 970- 2594383. Experienced teacher. Need holiday music for a party? We’re versatile and entertaining. Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

Services House keeper Professional, detailed, reliable local references Barbara 516-480-8343. Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192. Organic Spray Tans! Glow for the Holidays! Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199. Low Price on Storage! Inside/outside near Durango, RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494. Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advanced ductcleaninginc.com

telegraph

BodyWork

ForSale

Holiday Special A therapeutic massage, best gift ever 20% off now through Christmas duran gomobilemassage.com

Commercial Chest Freezers 18 cu ft Avantco commercial chest freezers- 4 available. Both new in Jan ‘18 for $599. Sell for $300 each, as is, picked up in Bodo. Call 970-749-5599.

massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 2018. Couples, sauna, outdoor shower, cupping. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-9032984. Insight Cranial Sacral Therapy Quiet, relaxing, deep. Don 970-7698389. Massage Gift Certificates! 30, 60 & 90 min Meg Bush, LMT 970759-0199. Massage with Kathryn 20+ years experience offering a fusion of esalen style, deep tissue massage with therapeutic stretching & Acutonics. New clients receive $5 off first session. To schedule appt. call 970-201-3373.

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation. Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

Red Cliffs Pottery Holiday Sale Local handmade pottery, lg selection! Come see us at 1375 Florida Rd. Mon-Sat, 9-5, Sun. by appt only. Call 970-7648229. Colorado Paddle Boards Make Great Gifts! Free shipping to any location in the USA. Boards in stock at the Durango Outdoor Exchange. Hot Tub – New 6HP pump, 50 jets. Cost $8,000. Sell $3,650. 505-270-3104. Reruns – Two Stores to Choose From Get ready for the holidays! We have dishes, linens, serving ware and cool furniture. Beautiful new arrivals – several Pier One cabinets, stained glass, lamps, nice rugs, lots of cool art (local as well), and beverage fridge. 572 E. 6th Ave. 3857336.

ForRent

CommunityService

Professional Roommate Wanted Professional wanted to share downtown Durango MT office w/ riverfront entrance & free parking. $365/mo. katie@ durangobodyrolling.com for info.

Purchase the “Gift” of Electricity for Those in Need “Kilowatt hours” could be one of the most welcomed gifts this holiday season for those having difficulty paying their electric bills, and the “elves” at La Plata Electric Association (LPEA) have reprised a program designed to assist with that special gift of electricity. At offices in both Durango and Pagosa Springs, the LPEA Customer Service Representatives (CSRs) have decorated Power of Giving Trees with ornaments that sport varying dollar amounts ($5 to $100). Community members are invited to select an ornament and bring it to the Customer Service window, and that dollar amount will be applied to the account of a fellow LPEA consumermember challenged with paying their electric bill this season. In addition to the Giving Tree, LPEA consumer-members can also make arrangements to assist specific

Downtown Home for Rent 3 BR/1BA, available now 970-7991868.

RoommateWanted In Town Room for Rent Seeking quiet, clean, respectful, and professional female to share space in duplex. Spacious rm w private bath. No pets, smoking, partying. Home is shared with a lg, energetic dog. $700/mo including utilities. 970-946-8808.


family members or neighbors with their bills, as well as non-profit organizations, by applying credit to those LPEA accounts. Gifts of any denomination are accepted at LPEA offices in Durango or Pagosa Springs during regular business hours. Contributions can be made anonymously. www.lpea.coop. A Call to Artists The Durango Rec Center invites artists of all mediums to display their artwork for a one-month period in the community wing hallway. Applications and additional information are available at durangogov.org/index.aspx?NID=532 or at the Rec Center. For questions, contact John Robinette at 375-7323 or via email at john.robinette@durangogov.org Give the Gift of Warmth FLC donation drive for the homeless community and others in need. The event runs through Dec. 14, and there are three drop offs at Fort Lewis College: Leadership Center, Grub Hub and Noble Hall Room 135. Items needed include: warm clothes, hats, gloves, hand warmers, closed toed shoes, new toiletries, tea, canned goods and more. For questions contact coordinator Ellis McNichol at ecmcnichol@fortlewis.edu. Upper Pine River Fire Promotes “Fill the Boot” for MD Muscular dystrophy is a group of diseases that causes progressive weakness and loss of muscle. The disease can take away the ability to walk, run, hug, talk and even breathe.

B

There is no cure for MD, but medications and therapy can help. Every year the Muscular Dystrophy Association sends more than 3,500 kids with MD to a week at one of nearly 80 MDA summer camps nationwide. Through donations made during “Fill the Boot,” MDA is able to provide this life-changing summer camp for free. Upper Pine River Protection District firefighters are asking local residents to help “Fill the Boot” at several locations throughout Bayfield, including the Heritage Day Parade. So, next time you see a firefighter holding a boot, remember what an awesome cause it is. For questions contact: www.mda.org, aharrison@upperpinefpd.org SCAPE Accepting Applications for 2019 Do you have a new business idea? Does your established business need help growing? Do you need education, mentoring and funding? SCAPE’s mission is to help launch and propel local job-producing businesses. All companies accepted into the 2019 class will be eligible for small investments to help develop the business. Apply by 12/31/18 at www.goscape.org

HaikuMovieReview ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’ The film that caused mashed potato sculptures across the whole universe – Lainie Maxson

Drinking&DiningGuide Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956 www.himkitchen.com Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. Try our all-you-can-eat lunch buffet. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free. Hours: Lunch, 11am-2:30 p.m. & dinner, Sun. - Thurs., 5-9:30 p.m., Fri. & Sat. ‘til 10 p.m. Closed 2:30 to 5 daily $$ Crossroads Coffee 1099 Main Ave., 970-903-9051 Crossroads coffee proudly serves locally roasted Fahrenheit coffee and delicious baked goods. Menu includes gluten-free items along with bullet-proof coffee, or bullet-proof chai! Eggnog lattes are here! Come in for friendly service and the perfect buzz! Hours: Mon.- Fri., 7 a.m. - 4 p.m. $ BREW Pub & Kitchen 117 W. College Drive, 970-259-5959 www.brewpubkitchen.com Experience Durango’s award-winning brewery & restaurant featuring unique, hand-crafted beers, delicious food - made from scratch, and wonderful wines & cocktails. Happy Hour, Tues.- Fri. 4-6 pm & all day Sunday with $1 off beers, wines & wells & select appetizers at 20% off. Watch the sunset behind Smelter Mountain. Hours: Wed.-Sun., Noon - 9p.m., Tues. 4p.m. - 9 p.m. Closed on Mon. $$

Jonesing?

a picture . y u ..

it lasts longer. Some of the amazing photos you see in the Telegraph are now available to purchase online, in digital or print.

Issue 6 is now out!

(*for personal enjoyment and use only.)

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com. To find out about advertising opportunities, email steve@gulchmag.com

To find out more, go to durangotelegraph.com and click on “buy photos.”

telegraph

Dec. 13, 2018 n 23


24 n Dec. 13, 2018

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