The Durango Telegraph, Oct. 29, 2020

Scared to death

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FREE Oct. 29, 2020 Vol. XIX, No. 40 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Where there’s smoke

Ghost town

Souped up

Is Colorado’s fiery October the new climate normal? p8

In search of Durango’s spooky specters and spirits p9

Elevating a cafeteria classic to new heights p11

Coming full circle.

Issue 14 of The Gulch is out now!

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com.

To find out about advertising opportunities, email: steve@gulchmag.com

2 n Oct. 29, 2020

telegraph

lineup

4

4 La Vida Local

E-bikes & elections

4 Thumbin’ It

On either topic, it’s important to make your voice heard

by Luke Mehall

5 Word on the Street

8

6-7 Soapbox

Fired up

9 Local News

Are October fires another sign of the new climate normal in Colorado?

by Sam Brasch / Colorado Public Radio

11 Flash in the Pan

Ear to the ground: “I think I broke my little piggy who stayed home.”

– Local after an unfortunate run-in with the living room ottoman

In the swing

thepole

RegularOccurrences

When the going gets tough, the tough go … golfing? According to a recent story in the Denver Post, Coloradans flocked to the links in droves this summer.

Ed Mate, executive director of the Colorado Golf Association, which compiles an annual survey of public course operators, said prior to this year, the state averaged about 1.5 million-1.7 million rounds played. But for 2020, that number is about to rise, by a lot.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we break the 2-million round barrier,” Mate said, adding that like a lot of unlikely industries, golf happened to land in the “winners” category during the pandemic.

“We didn’t launch some great new marketing idea or treat people differently when they showed up … We were just the lucky recipients of a cultural paradigm.

12-13 Stuff to Do

9

13 Ask Rachel

Ghost town In search of Durango’s spooky specters and spirits

14 Free Will Astrology

by Donna Hewett

15 Classifieds

11

15 Haiku Movie Review

Mmm, mmm good

On the cover: Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is evoked on the side of the Everyday gas station at College Drive and 8th Street./ Photo by Scarlett Moore

The time is right for this souped-up take on the cafeteria classic

by Ari LeVaux

boilerplate

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Stephen Eginoire (steve@gulchmag.com)

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Ari LeVaux, Shan Wells, Jesse Anderson, Luke Mehall, Scarlett Moore, Donna Hewett and Clint Reid

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distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

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The golf boon is explained by coronavirusweary residents finding outdoor refuge in a socially distanced activity shared among friends.

Golf courses have complied with restrictions by offering single-rider carts, restricting the removal of pins from holes, and clubhouses that mandate masks.

“It’s sort of replaced date night for us at restaurants,” 36-year-old Littleton resident and occasional golfer Quinn Botkins told the Post.

Botkins, who said he might have played golf once or twice a year in the past, estimates he’s gotten in at least 20 rounds this summer and fall.

His wife also began playing for the first time.

“It’s super hard, but it’s also really rewarding when you actually string a couple of good shots together,” he said explaining the allure of the oftfrustrating and curse-word inducing sport. “You just kind of forget what’s going on in the world.”

And if the difficulty in finding tee times is any indication, Durangoans are also getting their Tiger, Phil and Rory on in unprecedented numbers. Botkins said he’s lucky – a friend books tee times, often staying up until midnight to catch a time. “Even then it can be difficult. The popularity has gone through the roof,” he said.

The challenge moving forward for Colorado golf operators is capitalizing on the current craze with sustained growth once the pandemic is over. A new generation of golfers is being exposed to the game at a record pace.

“I’ve been in the golf business now for 30 years and I’ve never seen anything like it,” Mate said. “It’s been a perfect storm.”

Oct. 29, 2020 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal E-bikes and elections Well, here we are again, on the cusp of an important election, and I have a column to write. Before I dive in, I want to give a shout out to my friend and writer Jennaye Derge, who covered my space last month. I was going through some writer’s block, and though I don’t actually believe in writer’s block, I had it for a hot minute.

I could write about not writing, and not believing in writer’s block, but there’s more pressing business to attend to: e-bikes and elections.

Let’s start with the easy one: e-bikes. Now I’m going to talk some shit here, but let me start off with saying I think that e-bikes are amazing. I had the opportunity to take a quick spin on one at Second Ave. Sports when I was shopping for a new mountain bike last year, and they seem super fun, as well as being efficient.

Recently I found out that e-bikes would be allowed for a trial period at the local Twin Buttes trails. This piqued my attention because my fiancée and I recently bought a home in Twin Buttes, and thus I’ve found myself enjoying these trails on my bike, and also for some dog walks.

My gut instinct was that allowing bikes on our town trail systems was a bad idea. I imagined climbing up a hill, putting in everything I had, and then getting passed by an e-bike rider who just had to push a button. And guess what, last week that exact thing happened to me.

Now as anyone who regularly reads my work knows, I am a climber who bikes. I am infatuated with mountain biking and in love with rock climbing. But one thing I love about biking around here is most everyone gets the simple rules of mountain biking. If someone is climbing up a hill and you’re going down you move over and let that rider climb up; and then you communicate how many other riders are in your group. A similar rule applies when you’re climbing up a hill and you want to pass that person. You communicate with each other and the slower rider moves over for a second and lets the stronger rider go by.

This system has worked for decades, but now all of a sudden we are going to allow bikes with motors on these trails?

When I had my e-bike incident last week, the rider passed me without warning and proceeded to ride off trail over some delicate vegetation. Then, a minute later, he turned around and went back down the same trail had just ridden up. Twenty minutes later, as I was finishing the climb, I looked up to see the e-biker speeding down the trail in the opposite direction. I stopped him and said, “hey man, just so you know these are directional trails up here,” to which he replied, “It’s just recommended, right? I’ll be careful,” and then sped away.

I know I’m not the only one having odd interactions like these on our local trails.

Amber, my fiancée, had an incident where an e-bike rolled right up behind her as

she started, and then rudely passed her off trail; the rider obviously unaware of mountain biker etiquette.

On the flip side, I know some experienced bikers who have e-bikes and absolutely love them. But, they are taking their e-bikes on trails and roads that allow motorized recreation. And that’s what these bikes are: motorized vehicles. Allowing them on our town trails is a huge mistake, and quite frankly it gives an advantage to bikers who don’t have the fitness or the skills. I will add that I could see the validity to allow riders with a physical disability to use some sort of electronic assist, as I know that community is quite active and impressive with how they have adapted to continue biking, even after major injuries.

It seems like overall humans are, at this stage in our evolution at a point where we allow the free use of technology before we truly know the ramifications.

Allowing e-bikes on town trails seems to be the equivalent of giving a 10year-old an iPhone. Luckily this is just a trial period and the City of Durango Recreation Department is accepting feedback, which you can send to rec@durangogov.org.

Now that I’m over the writer’s block, let me write a few words on the election. (By the way the reason I say I don’t believe in writer’s block is because there is always a reason for it, and the cure is discovering that reason, and then clearing and cleaning out the mind however the individual writer does so.)

Overall, I feel our system is broken in so many ways, and both parties are to blame. And why the f*** our president is elected by the electoral college outcome versus the popular vote is arcane. (So, you bet I voted “yes” on Proposition 113.) Another example of our broken system is the fact that Congress has not enacted more stimulus funds for struggling Americans and small businesses.

Lately it seems like we are a country with two different gangs, and we have to pledge allegiance to one or the other. But just as Trump disrupted the system in 2016, I have confidence another, and better disruption is around the corner. Andrew Yang is my personal favorite politician these days, and his universal basic income doesn’t sound so crazy now after seven months of COVID. Though I am a news junkie and usually spend election night watching the results roll in, this year – if the weather allows – I’m going to disconnect and camp at my favorite site in Bears Ears National Monument, where there is no cell service. I have already voted – shout out to how easy and efficient Colorado makes it – and I am encouraging others to as well. By next Wednesday, I’ll find out; hopeful for a new day and a fresh start, but mentally prepared for four more years of political choss and chaos.

– Luke Mehall Luke Mehall is the publisher of The Climbing Zine, author of five books, and host of the Dirtbag State of Mind podcast. You can find more of his work at climbingzine.com.

Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It This week’s snowstorm all but quashing the state’s wildfires and allowing Wolf Creek a Halloween opening for limited skiing

Voter turnout in La Plata County on track to hit 80 percent and maybe even shatter the previous record of 84 percent set in 1984

Possible closure in the Dylan Redwine murder, with the trial of his father, Mark Redwine, slated to begin this week after three years of delays

4 n Oct. 29, 2020

A COVID outbreak leading to serious staffing issues at the Durango Fire Protection District

Donald Trump continuing to claim that the pandemic is over and a vaccine will be available in a few weeks as cases hit record highs across the country

The pandemic putting the kibosh on what would have been an epic Halloween, falling on a Saturday, with a full blue moon and an extra hour of revelry

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N-$19.95 Gwyneth Paltrow was the first to make vaginal steam spas famous when she endorsed Tikkun Holistic Spa in Santa Monica via “Goop” five years ago. But now, she probably regrets it. Niki Schwarz, who owns that spa, was charged last week with hoarding and price-gouging – a crime that carries a minimum sentence of one year in federal prison – because she stashed 20,000 N95 masks in her business. Schwarz bought the masks for $1 apiece and was allegedly selling them for $15, which is way too much to charge for a mask that’s been stored in a vaginal steam spa.

WordontheScreen

Q

With Halloween this weekend, the Telegraph asked, “What is the ultimate 2020 costume?”

Robbie

“A Trojan horse, the two person kind, but made of clear vinyl.”

Greg

“It’s a tossup between RBG and Dr. Fauci both with the addition of a cape as they are real life superheroes.”

Hunter

“Becky & Jerry Falwell Jr.’s pool boy, Giancarlo.”

Aaron

“Kimberly Guilfoyle, so I can scream ‘THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!’ all night.”

Heather

“A trashcan fire but sexy.”

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Oct. 29, 2020 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Let’s ensure 1 person = 1 vote To the editor, One person should always equal one vote. This is a foundational premise of our democracy. But women and communities of color understand better than most that our country has not always lived up to that idea.

This year is the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage.

It took 72 years of organizing, demonstrating, petitioning and campaigning for women to finally secure their right to vote in 1920. Now, in 2020, it seems obvious that women should have the right to vote. Indeed, most Americans could not envision our electoral system any other way at this point.

We hope it will take much less than 72 years for the nation to recognize that every voter should be equal in presidential elections, too. The National Popular Vote interstate agreement is a way to make sure that every voter matters and every vote for president is equal. This legislation passed in its first state in 2006, then in Colorado in 2019. On our 2020 ballot this fall, every Colorado voter will get a chance to approve Colorado’s membership in the National Popular Vote compact. The La Plata County League of Women Voters encourages everyone to vote “Yes” on Proposition 113.

Our president governs the entire country and should hear the voices of voters across the entire country. Under our current system, presidential candidates can focus on just a few competitive states in order to win. If Colorado is not deemed a swing state, the presidential candidates can practically ignore our concerns.

Under the current Electoral College system, the presidential candidate who receives the most popular votes throughout the country does not necessarily win the election. We all remember that happened in 2000 and 2016, but many people don’t realize it also happened with

three Presidents before 2000. The presidential election is the only one in the country where the second-place vote recipient can actually win.

Prop 113 would change that. It keeps the Electoral College system in place but reforms how the states choose their electors under the authority granted to 4

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the states in the U.S. Constitution. Each elector from Colorado and the other member states votes for the presidential candidate who earns the most votes nationwide. That candidate then wins the election. It really is that simple.

Colorado is currently one of 15 states, plus Washington D.C., that has joined the National Popular Vote. Once enough states sign on, it will change the way presidential candidates campaign. Instead of just focusing on competitive “swing” states, candidates will have to consider the issues that matter to rural, suburban and urban communities throughout the country.

The National Popular Vote will also ensure that one person truly equals one vote no matter where that person lives or who that person supports. A voter who prefers the Republican candidate in a blue state like Colorado will matter, just like a voter who prefers the Democratic candidate in a red state like Mississippi. When every vote truly matters, we will see higher voter turnout and more legitimacy to whoever wins the election.

The League of Women Voters has supported the idea of a direct presidential election since 1970 and the National Popular Vote agreement since 2006. We encourage all Coloradans to do the same and vote yes on Prop. 113.

– Jean Aaro, president, League of Women Voters of La Plata County

Following the money

To the editor, With the election for La Plata County commissioners quickly coming to an end, let’s be sure we understand which Jack Turner is actually running. It is not the well respected and popular Jack D. Turner who was elected twice as a La Plata Electric Association Director. The Jack Turner running for commissioner is in fact the self-proclaimed “independent” John R. (Jack) Turner, whose campaign signs are increasingly placed right next to Trump campaign signs. And one more thing about Jack’s proclaimed “independence,” a review of the publicly accessible Colorado Secretary of State’s accounting of donations for his campaign lists an incredible number and amount from Republicans. Yes, we the voters of La Plata County need to understand who is really supporting the “independent” John R. (Jack) Turner.

– Ken Francis, Durango

Jack owes no political favors

To the editor, Political parties will always have their supporters and followers. But if you’re like me and 41 percent of La Plata County voters, you don’t want to be aligned with any political party. We want no part of partisan bickering. So the time has come to elect leaders who are independent.

That’s why I’m voting for Jack Turner for county commissioner, running as an unaffiliated candidate. I’ve known and worked with Jack for 31 years. He’s a problem solver and an all-around great person who, as promised, “will listen and serve without obligation or favor to any political parties or special interests.

– Mike Smedley, Durango

An unaffiliated voter for Marsha

To the editor, I am an unaffiliated voter, and I am asking you to join me in supporting Marsha Porter-Norton for La Plata County commissioner. I have observed and worked with Marsha on numerous occasions and recognize her out-

FrightNight:

A jack-o-lantern on a downtown fence seems to embody the anxiety over next week’s election./Photo by Scarlett Moore standing qualities of patience, understanding and perseverance in carrying out the duties of her work. From working with Marsha, I find her evenhanded and nonpartisan in her approach. She will do a great job for all of the people of La Plata County.

– Buck Skillen, Durango

Some words from Marsha To the editor, I am running for La Plata County Commissioner. I am prepared to serve our citizens on day one because I have extensive experience in issues the county deals with every single day, from land use to budgets to transportation. I am ready to get to work because my career as a facilitator and mediator has given me the skills needed to bring people together to find solutions. I am also ready because, before developing a platform, I conducted 50 “Listening Sessions” at a kitchen table in Hesperus, a living room in Vallecito, a home in Hermosa, and in meeting places all over the county. Here is what I learned: making it here is tremendously hard for young people due to low wages, housing costs and a lack of diverse jobs. Next, the land use code and planning processes need to be continually improved and trust must be restored in our land planning systems. People said they are sick of partisanship and bickering. And, because of the pandemic, people told me about their high levels of anxiety about their health, businesses and kids’ educations. What binds us together is that we love it here.

We love the land, water, people and community. Each of us, though, is concerned that if we are not thoughtful, our county may become unrecognizable in the future.

With tremendous growth predicted (73,000 in nine years!), we have to look to the future. First, we need a countywide plan for affordable housing. I will lead an effort to develop an action strategy. It needs to place more tools in the tool kit, lay out action-able projects and have measurements. This has to go beyond talk to actual housing.

Next, the new Land Use Code went into effect Oct. 1.

It’s easy to take pot shots at the new code, which my opponent does. It’s another thing, given the tremendous amount of time and energy expended to bring the code to passage, to give it a chance to succeed and improve where

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necessary. We need smart growth and equitable funding for infrastructure. The code needs to help small businesses but also protect neighborhoods and avoid sprawl.

I am the only candidate who has named “renewable energy” as a priority. Our County should participate in the energy revolution in solar, wind, hydro, battery storage, etc.

The truth is, the renewable energy sector worldwide is doing quite well. Why shouldn’t we benefit from this? The County could play a role in making buildings and fleets more energy efficient. We should team up with solar companies on County-owned roofs. We should train our youth for jobs in this sector. How can these opportunities translate to jobs, farmers and ranchers having another source of income, educational opportunities and the like?

Did you know that much of what the County does is basic: plowing roads, keeping people safe, offering essential programs, funding public health, etc. I will work tirelessly for basic services and will standup for safetynet programs for seniors, families, kids and veterans.

I will protect public lands because they are under attack. My background for the last 14 years has focused on this area. I will stand up for clean air and water and will strengthen partnerships with state and federal agencies who manage our natural resources.

Diversifying our economy to work for everyone is my priority. We can do this through finding locations for light/clean manufacturing, supporting value-added and sustainably harvested timber products, helping agriculture stay strong, shoring up broadband and keeping our leading-edge airport strong.

This race isn’t about how long I’ve been here. It’s about what I’ve done while living here. I believe my background as a mediator of public issues (tough ones!) is much better suited to the responsibilities of commissioner than my opponent’s. And, I think you cannot fix a problem you do not see. We moved here in 1994 with a modest bank account and our dreams. This place has been good to us. I am now ready to take this experience and put it to work for you. Vote like your future depends on it, because it does. Visit: MarshaPorterNorton.com – Marsha Porter-Norton, candidate, La Plata County commissioner

Oct. 29, 2020 n 7

StateNews

A bulldozer drives along a perimeter near the Cameron Peak Fire west of Fort Collins. The fire is the largest in state recorded history./ Photo courtesy Cameron Peak Fire Incident Command

Where there’s smoke Colorado’s fiery October is a climate change alarm bell

by Sam Brasch Colorado Public Radio

O

n Sunday morning, firefighter Katrina Mohr awoke to the relief of snow outside her Fort Collins hotel room. The weather meant she could finally take a breath.

Nine days earlier, Mohr’s engine crew was called in from McCall, Idaho, to help with the Cameron Peak Fire west of Fort Collins. She knew the landscape. Mohr grew up in Boulder before spending five years as a seasonal firefighter in the mountains above Colorado’s Front Range.

October was when she’d typically go on offense, burning piles of cut trees to reduce fuels for the year ahead. This year was all defense, she said. Her fire crew logged a 30hour shift as flames exploded toward populated areas across the state.

“It’s not normal,” said Mohr. “It’s a new standard, I think, in what’s possible.”

Rather than the usual end to Colorado’s fire season, October 2020 has marked an unprecedented acceleration. High winds and dry weather have pushed blazes into the record book, testing firefighting resources and forcing a reassessment of how late into the year the state should brace for fire.

In the last month alone, the Cameron Peak Fire went on a 30,000-acre run to become the largest blaze in state history. The East Troublesome Creek fire started the same day in Grand County. On Oct. 21, wind gusts rocketed the blaze into Rocky

8 n Oct. 29, 2020

Mountain National Park, where it jumped the alpine tundra along the Continental Divide. At more than 190,000 acres, it’s now the second-largest fire in state history.

Jay Lusher, duty officer for the Rocky Mountain Coordination Center, places orders into a national system for fire-fighting resources from outside Colorado. He said the late fires have made the job far harder.

“A lot of crews are on a seasonal system, so they’ve just timed out for the year,” he said.

Lusher said Colorado’s need for firefighting resources typically peaks in August and September. By October, most of the demand usually shifts to California.

While he said Colorado has been able to obtain the critical resources it needs to battle the blazes, it has taken more time to assemble personnel, trucks and aircraft.

Meanwhile, some scientists worry Colorado’s nightmare month isn’t an outlier but a sign of a new normal under climate change. Adam Mahood, a Ph.D. geography student at the University of Colorado Boulder, said research has already shown similar dynamics playing out on a global scale. One study found the greater frequency of hotter, dryer weather meant global fire seasons typically became about 20 percent longer between 1979-2013.

“Colorado is just an extreme case of it being very obvious,” he said.

Recently, Mahood backed up the observation with data. He assembled information from a NASA satellite launched in 2001 to map U.S. wildfires. It showed the

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state does experience a handful of fires each October, but the blazes rarely combine to exceed a few thousand acres.

Mahood said October 2020 already offers a far different picture. While the satellite data isn’t available yet, he compiled numbers from the federal InciWeb system, which the government uses to keep the public up to date on ongoing fires. In October, three fires burned nearly 160,000 acres in Colorado. That’s 50,000 more acres than all the other Octobers since 2001 – combined.

The pattern fits with Colorado’s recent weather, according to Jennifer Balch, director of the CU Boulder Earth Lab. A combination of record heat and drought dried out forests over the summer. The state’s typical monsoons, which tend to bring precipitation through afternoon thunderstorms, also never materialized.

“We essentially had summer run smack into winter and skipped fall,” she said.

“That set the backdrop for very large and very late-burning fires.”

Now, at the end of the month, it appears winter has finally arrived, with as much as 18 inches of snow dropping in the mountains where fires are still burning.

Mohr, the firefighter from Idaho, said the shift in weather couldn’t have come soon enough. “I’m just so glad it’s snowing, doing our work for us,” she said.

“Everyone’s just tired.” n For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org.

thesecondsection

Chasing ghosts The Iffy Reporter goes on a search for Durango’s specters and spirits

by Donna Hewett

I

’ve always wanted to write a newspaper column called the “Iffy Reporter.” That way if I screw up on the facts, my ass is covered. But today, dear reader, we’re not dealing so much with facts, but “opinions.”

Of the ghostly variety.

My first stop is the Durango Elk’s Lodge, a nearly 100-year-old institution on E. Second Avenue, where a lively Halloween party is happening outside.

“Our ghost is named Robert,” says Eric, who, at the ripe age of 40, is already a PER (past exalted ruler) at the club. “Robert was the bar manager of this place back in 1927. Hung himself in the third stall of the men’s room.”

Eric is partying with his mother, Chris, who encountered the wrath of Robert about 10 years ago.

“A bartender took me where she knew he hung out downstairs. She told me to stay back a bit when we heard light bulbs crashing to the floor. We heard them crash, but could never find them.”

Her son offers me a rare tour of the place; me with a draft of Pabst and him with a vodka something.

“We’ll start in the dungeon,” he says, aka the boiler room, where entrance to the underground tunnel is blocked with lawn chairs, old lamps and other junk. “If we walked straight that way, we’d find ourselves in the alley under 9th Street.”

“I try to keep a scientific approach ... Try to look for a reasonable explanation, but inevitably, I say hi to someone coming in the back door to work, but there’s nobody.”

– Ya Ling Yen, owner, May Palace It seems the door is always open to the past here.

We work our way up, past a safe room that’s actually a fake door, to the “museum” on the fifth floor, where Robert supposedly kept an apartment. It still has the original plumbing and is packed with odds and ends of a gambler’s past: old chips and dice, playing cards, snicker balls.

I thank my host and tip-toe my way out and down to Main Avenue into the darkened May Palace, which these days serves take-out only. The phone rings nonstop. In between orders, Ling, the owner, who’s been in this building since ’89, tells me her haunted problems have recently gotten worse.

“They’ve started pushing my people. Throwing things around.”

They don’t mess with her, however. “I tell them don’t touch me. Don’t try to jump in front of me or behind me or scare me. This is my place. You stay in your lane, and I’ll stay in mine.”

Things turn on by themselves like the 140-degree water in the mop sink. Doors open, you hear footsteps.

“They’re a little edgy. Like I said, just recently they’re not as friendly as before,” Ling said. “I try to keep a scientific approach to it. Try to look for a reasonable explanation, but inevitably, I say hi to some-

one coming in the back door to work, but there’s nobody. You swear to god somebody was there. One employee saw a lady floating in a white dress and ran out of the restaurant and never came back. I say live and let live. Or live peacefully dead? I don’t know.”

I can tell she has dozens, maybe even hundreds, of stories, but before she can go any deeper, the phone rings again. Saved by the bell. I wave goodbye and

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dash down the street into Old Tymer’s Cafe. A busy waitress named Becca has only worked here since July but said she experiences little “weird” things daily, like the lights swinging on their chains. “Sometimes it happens when we’ve got a lot of people in here, or late at night when we’re getting ready to close. Random movements, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got some friends here.” 4

Oct. 29, 2020 n

9

ChasingGhosts from p. 9 Of course, I could have saved myself some trouble and signed up for one of a couple of ghost tours offered in town, both of which are wrapping up for the season.

Joe Nelson hosts a Ghost Walk that covers the more posh spirits up and down E. Third Avenue. Meanwhile, Laine Johnson runs Horsefly History Tours, “history with a bite” that talks about the spirits of the sporting girls and bootleggers that still run downtown. As a wildlife biologist, she went from tagging mountain lions in Wyoming to roping up ghosts.

“It wasn’t my intention,” she said. “It’s what people wanted.” Ironically, when she asks a group if they believe in ghosts, almost nobody raises their hand.

At the Sparrow dress shop downtown, Lottie and the owner, Casey, sometimes smell something icky in the back. The fire alarms go off. The oldest mannequin in the window falls over regularly. “We’ll change it and three hours later we’ll hear a big crash, and it’s fallen over for no good reason.”

Rita, who works at the consignment shop below the Sparrow, has long, blonde hair. She says something happened to her once at Season’s restaurant.

“I was alone, waiting for my sister to finish her shift, when something pulled my pigtails. I felt them pulled straight out.

The employees said, yeah we have all sorts of things happen here.” (But when asked about them today, mum’s the word.)

The Durango Elks Lodge’s neon sign casts an eerie glow, made all the more eerie by the prospect of a ghost. Elks say the lodge is haunted by Robert, a former bar manager who hanged himself in the lodge in 1927./Photo by Missy Votel Around the corner, Arley, a longtime bartender at Joel’s, sees a regular ghost come in once a year or so. “He’s a skinny cowboy, pretty tall, with a hat, walking from the

girls bathroom to the men’s bathroom. The sensor lights come on. I feel a cold on my back. He always comes at closing time.

Hopefully we don’t see him tonight.”

Finally, Maggie, who owns Old Tyme Photography, has heard heavy men’s footsteps and what sounds like the thump of a keg being pulled across the floor (the building used to be the Coors Brewery). While she’s currently closed due to flooding issues, in the past she’s also heard a man humming and another singing show tunes. Then, there’s the pearl necklace that appears when you step away, sometimes on the book you were just reading or splayed out on the desk. No one ever touches it or tries to take it home.

“It disappears on its own,” Maggie said.

Suddenly, I’m dead tired. This ghosthunting business is hard work, but on a whim, on my way home, I stop by what used to be Miss Gail’s Inn, a turn of the century house, now apartments, on Main Street in Aztec. I look into the windows of the front door that’s locked, and suddenly a white-haired lady appears from inside.

“I’m a people person,” she said, opening the door, and I think, as opposed to what?

She leads me around back to a courtyard where a big spooky cottonwood lives.

“The old hanging tree,” she said.

Great. The owners aren’t in to tell their tales, and I’m kinda glad they’re not. I nearly run back to my car, which I notice is parked beneath the tree. I hop in and turn the key, eager to get back, and for the first time ever, the Toyota won’t start. The battery is drained, and I must call my cranky husband to come get me (outta there).

And that, dear reader, is a true story. Believe it or not. n

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telegraph

FlashinthePan

The original happy meal

by Ari LeVaux

I

somehow made it through childhood with minimal exposure to what I now realize was, for many, a cherished part of growing up: a grilled cheese sandwich alongside a bowl of tomato soup.

This iconic lunch combo, as American as a burger, wasn’t in my parents’ cooking rotation, and my friends were hippies or Korean and it wasn’t on their menus either. And forget about school lunch. It only entailed a sloppy Joe or two, and one of those reddish dry slabs they shamelessly called “pizza.” I learned at an early age the importance of packing a lunch. I was dimly aware that school lunch eaters sometimes had grilled cheese and tomato soup but was never all that intrigued.

Not that I could have learned at school the joy of biting into the glistening edge of a dunked grilled cheese, at once crusty and soggy, dry and wet, acidic and fatty, melty and cheesy. But I can now see how, for many, this dish was eye-opening.

It’s also a hearty meal, a complete source of protein and Vitamin C, which is why during the Great Depression cafeterias stockpiled cans of tomato soup and grilled cheese materials. I knew none of this until a L.A.-based client reached out, asking if I would investigate a certain Depression-era meal from southwest Montana.

“My Grandma Fay, who lived in the Bitterroot Valley up the Burnt Fork, used to prepare tomato toast, which was basically a piece of toast smothered with a creamy tomato sauce. She probably used real cream back in the day, topped with a cooked egg if you had ’em.”

I never did track down Grandma Fay’s recipe, but the research, and the keywords involved, occasionally brought me to corners of the web occupied by crusty grilled cheese sandwiches and smooth, tangy tomato soup.

The archetypes and keywords were on my mind when a friend of the column and noted novelist Chad Dundas (most recently: The Blaze), tweeted despairingly, “Perhaps my biggest disappointment as a

father so far is my children’s unwillingness to recognize the splendor of pairing grilled cheese sandwiches & tomato soup. They could take or leave it & I’m considering petitioning for a DNA test.”

The nuance of the discussions in the comments to his Tweet included topics like how best to cut the sandwich (corner to corner), and spirited spat over chunky tomato soup. One chap had a thing for Goldfish crackers swimming in the soup.

Dundas may not be Grandma Fay, but I knew I needed this man of letters as my guide, like Dante needed Virgil. He’s not looking for angles to improve upon perfection. The soup is Campbell’s. The bread is white. The cheese is orange.

I brought those ingredients home, and the next thing you know, I’m making the combo for my kids, who wolfed it down like it was their first taste of food. Soon, my kids’ hungry, unmasked friends were over, also wanting food. When the dust settled, I had stuffed six little bellies for about $7.

That night, feeling deviant, I texted Dundas. “Have you added any somethingsomething in the intervening years of single and family living? Any secret sauce you bust out when everyone is asleep and you need some midnight power?”

He didn’t text back, and I felt awkward.

Alone to my own devices, and in honor of Grandma Fay’s tomato toast, I worked on cooking an egg in the middle of the grilled cheese, which turns out to be pretty tasty, like a cheesy egg-in-a-nest.

Then I turned my attention to the soup.

The Campbell’s label suggests mixing the contents with a can of milk or water, which if done right also salvages whatever soup clings to the can – an important Depression-era trick. But I found milk dulled the tomatoey sharpness, which lessened the dramatic contrast between soup and sandwich. The soup already has bread mixed in, which adds a certain bisque-like creaminess, even without cream.

If you have serious soup eaters, water is

the way to go, but I kept finding leftover soup after the sandwiches were long gone.

Now I leave it thick, with added garlic, black pepper and hot sauce.

Finally, Dundas got back to me, after having given it some thought. He suggested perhaps making a second sandwich.

It was a bit too little, and a bit too late.

But hey, Virgil only brought Dante within sight of the summit.

This time of year, when the heirlooms taste like soup and are so ripe you can suck the juice out of them, consider using fresh tomatoes in the sandwich. Just now, while you still can. And then, back to the Campbell’s.

Grilled Cheese and Egg Sandwich 1 14-oz. can Campbell’s Tomato Soup 4 tablespoons olive oil ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 large clove garlic, pressed, mashed or minced 2 pieces sliced bread, preferably white The equivalent of two Kraft Singles, preferably cut from a finer, if similarly hued, block of cheese. Cut each slice into long rectangles the width of a chopstick.

1 egg Optional: hot sauce In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, heat two tablespoons of oil on medium. When the oil is hot, add the garlic and pepper.

After about a minute of fragrant stir-frying, add the soup to the sizzling garlic oil, mixing it quickly. After a minute of heat, turn it off and make the sandwich.

To a heavy-bottomed pan pre-heated to medium, add a tablespoon of oil.

Swish a piece of bread around the pan like you’re mopping up gravy, and then add the cheese. Make a frame with your thin rectangles of cheese around the edge of the bread, and crack the egg in the middle. Add the second piece of bread.

Pour the last tablespoon of olive oil to the top of the upper slice. When you smell the bottom start to burn, flip the sandwich and cook the same amount of time on the other side. Allow it to cool to a safe temperature, and slice corner to corner. n

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Oct. 29, 2020 n 11

StufftoDo

Thursday29 Durango Bootlegger’s Society’s “Pint for Pint” Blood Drive, all day, donate blood and receive a free Tshirt and a voucher for a free pint at any Bootlegger’s Society brewery. To sign up, text or call Kristan at 505-686-9777 Gary B. Walker plays piano, 9-11 a.m., Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave. Durango Green Drinks Zoom meeting, 5:15 p.m., hosted by Conservation Colorado and La Plata Open Space Conservancy. For link: https://tinyurl.com/y3nlsyza Dustin Burley plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Tim Sullivan plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main.

“Zoom: Alice,” re-release by Merely Players, watch when you wish online. Tickets at www.merelyplayers.us Laugh Therapy Open Mic, comic sign-up at 7 p.m., show starts at 8, Union Social House, 3062 Main.

“A Garden on Paper: Drawing on a Scientific Legacy,” a Zoom event with FLC Professor of Art Amy Wendland, 7 p.m. part of the Lifelong Learning Lecture Series. https://tinyurl.com/y57vl6s

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Friday30

This Halloween, DHS Troupe 1096 presents the zombie chiller “Pontypool,” which will be broadcast on radio station 99X. Written specifically for radio, it’s based on the 2008 horror film and book by Tony Burgess. It follows the story of a disc jockey in the Canadian town of Pontypool who tries to save the world from a Zombie-making virus with an unlikely mode of transmission: the English language. To find out how – or if – he stops the Zombie apocalypse, tune in at 8 p.m., Oct. 31.

Henry Stoy plays piano, 9 a.m.-12 noon, Jean Pierre Wine Bar, College Drive and Main.

Irish music jam, every Sunday, 12:30-3 p.m., Durango VFW, 1550 Main Ave. Free.

The Hive’s 4th annual Halloween Skate Comp, 1-4 p.m., Durango Skate Park. Featuring prizes and live music. www.thehivedgo.org

Blue Moon Ramblers play Americana/bluegrass, 5:30–8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Joel Racheff plays, 5:30–8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

“Zoom: Alice,” re-release by Merely Players, watch when you wish online. Tickets at www.merelyplayers.us

Robbie Overfield plays, 5-9 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Durango Bootlegger’s Society’s “Pint for Pint” Blood Drive, all day, donate blood and receive a free Tshirt and a voucher for a free pint at any Bootlegger’s Society brewery. To sign up, text or call Kristan at 505-686-9777

Jesse Ogle plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Adam Swanson plays ragtime piano, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main.

Feed Pigs Not Bears: pumpkin and leaves drop off, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds or Pine River Shares, 658 S East St., Bayfield. Also takes place Mon., Nov. 2, 7 a.m.-6 p.m.

Carver-Gibson Collective, 4-8 p.m., Fur Trapper’s Steakhouse and Bar, Vallecito.

Halloween at Ernie’s with DJ Bad Goat, 7 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Meditation and Dharma Talk with Erin Treat, 5:307 p.m. online at www.durangodharmacenter.org/

Rob Webster plays, 5-9 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

DHS Troupe 1096 presents “Pontypool,” radio show based on the book by Tony Burgess where a radio host interprets the possible outbreak of a deadly virus that infects a small Ontario town, 8 p.m. on 99X FM.

Rob Webster plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Matt Rupnow plays, 5:30 – 8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Monday02

Joel Racheff plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Set your clocks back before you go to bed.

Joel Racheff plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main. th

Lavalanche plays, 6-9 p.m., 11 Street Station.

Sunday01 Henry Stoy plays piano, 9 a.m.-12 noon, Jean Pierre Wine Bar, College Drive and Main.

Saturday31

Feed Pigs Not Bears: pumpkin and leaves drop off, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds or Pine River Shares, 658 S East St., Bayfield. Also takes place Mon., Nov. 2, 7 a.m.-6 p.m.

Durango Farmers Market, last outdoor market of the season, 9 a.m.-12 noon, TBK Parking Lot, across from the Transit Center. Facemasks required. www.duran gofarmersmarket.com.

Free book giveaway, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., sponsored by Durango Book Rescue, Downtown Security Storage, 923 Narrow Gauge Ave.

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Election Day 2020 Go vote if you haven’t!!

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit

Durango Horror Story Haunted Haus, a variety show hosted by 4 Corners Alliance for Diversity, 6:45-10 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds. Tickets sold by tables of four, masks required: durangohorrorstory.eventbrite.com

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Tuesday03

% $ !" !" " # telegraph

“Live Website Review with Professionals and Peers,” e-commerce web series, 9-10:30 a.m. Presented by the SW Colorado Small Business Development Center. $10/workshop. Register at: https://tinyurl.com/y57v7xd9 7 Rivers Farmers Market, indoor winter farmers market, Tuesdays, 12-3 p.m. featuring local farmers, food vendors and artisans, La Plata County Fairgrounds. Masks and social distancing required.

Leah Orlikowski plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. 4

AskRachel

Poll dancing, against the wind and getting canned Interesting fact: Now, amidst our current zeitgeist, I feel I understand @nihilist_arbys on a truly cellular level. This is my salute. Not that it matters.

some high-speed gusts, and I turn into the mystery character in a Dickens novel who, I don’t know, peels off her own skin and torments neighbor children. I need to learn how to cope.

Can you help?

– Gale Force Bonkers Dear Windswept, You sound more like a Shirley Jackson character than a Dickensian one. Though I know what you mean. Some of his supporting characters are off. the. hook. Haven’t read Shirley Jackson? Get thee to a nunnery! Or, better yet, a bookstore. In just minutes, you could sound more educated about lit’chure than I do. I used to care, but why bother? All human accomplishments are mere ephemera. Gone faster than a hot, fresh curly fry dipped in our special signature barbecue sauce. Enjoy.

– Eat More Arby’s, Rachel Dear Rachel, I’m trying to be money-savvy and homesteader-talented. Partly because of the pandemic, partly just because it feels manly to have all kinds of skills, partly because ladies find that sexxxy. So I bought a pie pumpkin to make pumpkin puree to make pumpkin pancakes.

They were delicious. But I did the math, and besides costing me an hour, that puree cost more money than the equivalent two cans of Libby’s.

People say “down with capitalism,” but how can I argue with results?

– Pumpkin Can-Can

Dear Rachel, I’ve read all the pundits, watched all the anchors, read all the summaries of all the polls. I’ve concluded that no one knows what is going to happen. So I might as well ask the woman who has never yet led me astray. What’s going to happen with the election, Rachel? What are your lastminute predictions and prognostications?

– Poll Watcher Dear Pole Voyeur, Oh, the poop is going to hit the fan. The only thing the election is going to tell us is which direction we can expect the poop to fly. If it’s any consolation, all empires fall eventually, and all species become extinct, and anything we accomplish before our extinction will be decomposed to constituent sub-atomic particles when our sun eventually goes supernova. So go ahead. Order an extra Beef & Cheddar while your meaningless life runs its course.

– Eat Arby’s, Rachel Dear Rachel, Why does wind drive me more insane than all other forms of weather? You could sleet me down to my socks or roast me up to my eyeballs.

I might be uncomfortable, but I’m still human.

But dial up that air flow to 20 mph or throw in Terry Rickard plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“Dinosaur Discoveries: Ancient Fossils, New Ideas,” a traveling exhibit from the American Museum of Natural History, Powerhouse Science Center.

Wednesday04

Sunnyside and Fort Lewis Mesa libraries are open, Mon.-Fri., 2:30-7 p.m. 970-375-3816.

“Smoking and Vaping: The Real Deal,” free community education class, 5-6 p.m., Durango Rec Center. Presented by Durango Fire Protection District and Durango Parks and Recreation. Classes limited to 20; masks required.

Registration: tosh.black@durangofireorg or 382.6014.

Free circuit workout, every Wednesday, 6 p.m. led by physical therapist Andre Botha. Masks required. Ohana Physical Therapy, 130 Rock Point Drive, Unit C in the Tech Center. RSVP at: 970-247-7895.

Terry Rickard plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Donnie Johnson plays, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Ongoing The Hive Online Auction fundraiser, through 5 p.m., Oct. 31. www.thehivedgo.org 2020 Devo Online Silent Auction, www.durango devo.com. Bidding closes 8 p.m., Oct. 29.

Fort Lewis College 2020 Faculty Biennial exhibit, viewing every Wednesday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and by appt. thru Nov. 19. For info: www.fortlewis.edu/art-design/artgallery.

Episode 2 of the “Actor’s Journal,” free recordings of original works, essays, poems, remembrances by six new actors every month. www.durangoplayfest.org/actors-journal Durango Public Library Weekly Activity Kits available for curbside pickup every Tuesday. Kits include supplies for one project for preschool, elementary and teen-age students. A new kit is released every Tuesday while supplies last.

To request, email reference@DurangoGov.org.

PIVOT: Skateboard Deck Art exhibit, over 100 skateboard decks painted by 30 different Native American artists, on view by appointment through spring 2021, Center of Southwest Studies, FLC. swcenter.fortlewis.edu/

Upcoming: Tim Sullivan plays, Nov. 5, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Squash Mash, You can’t. You can’t argue. Time is meaningless, yet it is also precious, and we must each choose how to spend what is allotted to us. If you choose to puree pumpkins, do it with all your heart. If that makes you less than happy, buy Libby’s and free yourself to climb mountains, run with bulls, read books. Run for president. It’s true that anyone can hold that highest office in the land. It’s also true that anyone can dream of five for $5 specials, but those days are gone. Thank god you’re eating real food.

– Bon appetit, Rachel Black Velvet plays, Nov. 6, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. “How to Find Happiness in the Age of COVID,” a Zoom event with FLC Psychology Professor Brian Burke, Nov. 5, 7 p.m. part of the Lifelong Learning Lecture Series. https://tinyurl.com/y57vl6s6 Dustin Burley plays, Nov. 6, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Joel Racheff plays, Nov. 7, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Matt Rupnow plays, Nov. 7, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. “Observing Space from Earth,” a free virtual event, Nov. 8, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Tune into live Facebook stream @powscicenter. More info at www.powsci.org.

Deadline to submit items for “Stuff to Do” is Monday at noon.

E-mail your stuff to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

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telegraph

91.9 93.9

KDUR.ORG

Oct. 29, 2020 n 13

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): Reed Galen is an American political consultant who works for conservative causes. But in next week’s election, he opposes conservative Donald Trump, whom he regards as an authoritarian tyrant. He writes, “Democracy is on the ballot. It’s a binary choice between good/bad, honorable/dishonorable, healthy/sick, forward/backward.

There has been nothing like this in our lifetimes.” If you’ve read my words for a while, you know I’m a connoisseur of ambiguity and uncertainty. I try to see all sides of every story. But now I’m departing from my tradition: I agree with Reed Galen’s assessment. The American electorate really does face a binary choice between good and bad.

I also suspect, Aries, that you may be dealing with a binary choice in your personal life. Don’t underestimate how important it is that you side with the forces of good.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus politician Dan Coats has belonged to the conservative Republican Party all his adult life. He served in the U.S. Congress for 24 years and later as President Donald Trump’s Director of National Intelligence. Since leaving that office, Coats has criticized his ex-boss. He has said, “Trump doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie.” In accordance with astrological omens, I urge you to be fiercely non-Trump-like in the coming weeks. It’s crucial to the welfare of you and yours that you tell the whole truth.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Many stories that were popular long ago are still studied today.

One example is the ancient Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, originally told during the first century B.C. Another is Homer’s epic tale the Odyssey, which harkens back to the sixth century B.C. I have no problem with learning from old tales like these. It’s important to know how people of previous eras experienced life. But for you in the coming months, I think it will be crucial to find and tell new stories – tales that illuminate the unique circumstances that you are living through right now.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m surprised when I hear that fans of Donald Trump enjoy my horoscopes. My political views, which are deeply aligned with my spiritual philosophy, have always been very progressive. And I’ve never hidden that fact. How can someone who appreciates my ideas also like Trump, a vile bully who has unleashed enormous cruelty and chaos? If you yourself are a Trump fan, I understand that after reading the preceding words, you may never read my words again. But I need to follow my own astrological advice for us Cancerians, which is: Be bold and clear in expressing your devotion to the

ideals you hold precious. For me that means supporting Joe Biden, an imperfect candidate who will nevertheless be a far more compassionate, intelligent and fairminded leader than Trump.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dionysus was the ancient Greek god of drunkenness, ecstasy and madness. His followers were inclined to immerse themselves in those states. Yet as historian Robert Parker points out, Dionysus himself “was seldom drunk, seldom mad.” His relationship with his consort Ariadne was “dignified and restrained,” and “smiling tranquility” was his common mood. I recommend that in the coming weeks you act more like Dionysus than his followers – no matter how unruly the world may become.

The rest of us need you to be a bastion of calmness and strength.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo military expert Jim Mattis enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps when he was 19 years old. Forty-three years later, having been a Marine all his adult life and a general for six years, he retired. Later, he served under President Donald Trump as the U.S. Secretary of Defense. After leaving that position, Mattis testified that Trump was “dangerous” and “unfit,” adding that Trump “has no moral compass.” Be inspired

by Mattis, Virgo. Do your part to resist the harmful and unethical actions of powerful people who affect you. Be extra strong and clear in standing up for integrity.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Feeling too much is a hell of a lot better than feeling nothing,” Libran author Nora Roberts declares. I trust you will see the wisdom of that perspective in the coming weeks. On the downside, there might be some prickly, disorienting feelings arriving along with the rich flood of splendor. But I’m convinced that most of the surge will be interesting, invigorating and restorative – although it may take a while for the full effects to ripen. And even the prickly, disorienting stuff may ultimately turn out to be unexpectedly nurturing for your soul.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio politician Joe Biden wasn’t my first choice for President of the United States. During the selection process, I championed his opponents Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. But now I support Biden wholeheartedly. He has several policies I don’t agree with, but on the other hand I know it’s critical that we Americans ensure he replaces the appalling, corrupt, incompetent Trump.

In the coming days, I advise you Scorpios to also consider the value of wise and pragmatic compromise in your own sphere. Don’t allow a longing for impossible perfection to derail your commitment to doing what’s right.

telegraph

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): The United States has suffered terribly from COVID-19. Of all the world’s countries, it has had more cases and more deaths. Why? One major reason is President Donald Trump. He has consistently downplayed the seriousness of the disease, has advocated many unscientific cures, and has been lax and erratic in supporting the therapeutic measures that virtually all epidemiological experts have recommended. It’s no exaggeration to assert that Americans will reduce their coronavirus misery by electing Joe Biden as president. In this spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to meditate on how you could reduce any and all of your own personal suffering. The time is right. Be ingenious! Be proactive!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “By my love and hope I beseech you,” philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche pleaded.

“Do not cast away the hero in your soul! Hold holy your highest hope!”

That’s always good advice, but it’s extra crucial for you now. You will generate good fortune for yourself by being in close connection with the part of you that is bravest and wisest. The people whose lives you touch will have a special need for you to express the vitalizing power of intelligent hopefulness. More than maybe ever before, you will be inspired to cultivate your heroic qualities.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’ve been writing my horoscope column for a long time, and it has evolved dramatically. One aspect that hasn’t changed is that every four years, I’ve endorsed a candidate for the president of my home country, the United States.

Another unchanging aspect is that I regularly reveal my progressive views about political matters. Some people who have only recently discovered my writing express dismay about this. “I don’t want politics with my horoscopes!” they complain.

But the fact is, politics have permeated my horoscopes since the beginning. Now I urge you to do what I just did, Aquarius, but in your own sphere: If there are people who are not clear about who you really are, educate them.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The worse the state of the world grows, the more intensely I try for inner perfection and power,” Piscean author Anais Nin during World War II wrote. “I fight for a small world of humanity and tenderness.” I encourage you to adopt that perspective for the rest of 2020.

It’s an excellent time to respond boldly to the outer chaos by building up your inner beauty. I also suggest this addition to Nin’s formula: Call on your resourceful compassion to bolster the resilience of your closest allies.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon: 9ish - 5ish Tues: 9ish - 5ish Wed: 9ish - 3ish Thurs: On delivery Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements Interest in Shared Land Ownership?

Interested in working with others to figure out how to build homes on a shared piece of land with shared space for gardening, or leasing to a farmer, or creating a community building. There are models of shared land ownership that can be legally robust and not as scary as people believe. I’m interested to learn more and to explore this with other folks.

Reaching out isn’t a commitment, just a starting point. Email: rileyneugebauer @hotmail.com.

Registration is open for the 17th Annual Festival of Trees A holiday tradition supporting Southwest Colorado’s kids and adults with disabilities. Festival of Trees is Dec. 4-6 at the D&SNG Grange Hall and online. Inquire about Community Foundation/CERF and Alpine Bank financial support and/or hosting a wreath in your business leading up to the event. For info. and to register by 10/30, visit communityconnectionsco.org or contact ellen@cci-colorado.org or 9070-385-3453.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Desert, The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

HelpWanted Do You Drive Between Mancos and Durango on Thursday or Friday?

The Telegraph is looking for someone to deliver papers to Mancos every week, about 5 or 6 stops. Small stipend. email: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com.

Wanted

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Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

House for Rent Older, funky 2 BR, + small office, 1 BA, lge. fenced yard with great views. Quick drive to Durango or New Mexico. $975, plus deposit, utilities. Lge. garage available for $300 more.970-247-9617

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Private Cabin Next to Nat’l Forest Off-grid, no pets. 970-422-2622.

ForSale Gear Hauler Spacetrailers.com Used 4x7 covered utility trailer to haul your gear with a car! $3K OBO. 970-749-9037

Reruns Home Furnishings Brighten up your space! Willett midcentury side table, barstools, chairs and ottomans. Patio set, tile plant stands, nightstands and much more. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

HaikuMovieReview

Commuter/Gravel Bike 2016 Diamondback Haanjenn XS 47cm, very lightly used, 2x9 drivetrain, can handle up to 700x40 tires. $300 OBO. 970-749-9037

‘Downhill’ An emotional avalanche in Switzerland that is worth watching – Lainie Maxson

NewspaperOrigami A black cat

RSE Handyman Service Home repair. Yard work. Odd jobs.

970-903-0449.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494 Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192.

Marketing Small and Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. jnderge@gmail.com

BodyWork massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 2020.

Couples, cupping, local CBD. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984

telegraph

Oct. 29, 2020 n 15

Need to light your fire?

The Telegraph stocks old issues to burn on the lower racks at many of our locations, including: • Durango Post Office • 10th & Main (in front of El Rancho & the Boarding Haus)

• Peerless Tire • Mayer Building, 679 E. 2nd Ave. • Bayfield Post Office • Star Liquors plaza • N. City Market *Just try not to set the night on fire. And please do not take the current issue or leave a big mess.

It makes Jim sad.

16 n Oct. 29, 2020

telegraph