Durango Telegraph - 02/06/2020

More in your face than VaJay-Lo

­elegraph­ the­­­­durango

FREE Feb. 6, 2020

Vol. XIX, No. 6 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Swimming success

Frozen

Pasta-bilities

Could delisting humpback chub sink efforts to save it? p7

Why some can’t let it go when it comes to chasing waterfalls p9

Lots of ways to slice the carrot for this comfort dish p10

2 n Feb. 6, 2020

telegraph

lineup

4 La Vida Local

Swimming success?

Is the humpback chub ready to be delisted? Some say not so fast

4 Thumbin’ It

by Hayley Sanchez, Colorado Public Radio

5 Word on the Street

8

6 Soapbox

Family affair Master Sophie Hannah breaks murdermystery mold with latest thriller

6 ReTooned

by Jeffrey Mannix

8 Murder Ink

9

9 Day in the Life

Ice in their veins

11 Top Shelf

For some, the allure of chasing frozen waterfalls is too much to ignore photos by Stephen Eginoire

12-13 On the Town

10

by Ari LeVaux

15 Classifieds 15 Haiku Movie Review

11

On the cover: Pigeon and Turret peaks gleam in the alpenglow under a nearly full moon./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

Still smokin’ Hips don’t lie, Montana bluegrass and Kansas City blues

by Chris Aaland

boilerplate

RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

Bluebird day The Bluebird is about to take flight. Billing itself as the world’s first “human-powered” ski area, Bluebird Backcountry plans to fire up the, uh, climbing skins Sat., Feb. 15.

The 1,500-acre backcountry ski area is located on Whitely Peak, a 10,115-foot mountain on the south side of Rabbit Ears Pass, between Kremmling and Steamboat. The brain child of backcountry ski bros Erik Lambert and Jeff Woodward, Bluebird will be situated on land leased from a local rancher.

14 Free Will Astrology

There’s more than one way to cut the carrot with this winter comfort dish

ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com)

Rip roy

Love to rip the ’roy or carve the cord before most folks have even pulled out of town? Well, if you’re a Purg season pass holder, you’re in luck. This Sun., Feb. 9, Purg is offering season pass holders a special bonus hour of “first-track” skiing before the lifts start running for the masses. Starting at 8 a.m., the Sixpack and Chair 3 will be running for hardscore skiers’ early-morning shred (withstanding any huge dumps that could delay opening.)

For details on this, or other pass holder perks (like $4 giant PBRs that you will surely earn from such an early start), check out www.purgatoryre sort.com/specials.

13 Ask Rachel

Pasta-bilities

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com)

Ear to the ground: “I rented a wheelchair for the week.”

– Local El Rancho patron on crutches discussing her Snowdown week safety plan

thepole

7

RegularOccurrences

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Stephen Eginoire, Jesse Anderson, Zach Hively, Tracy Chamberlin, and Shan Wells

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332 Durango, CO 81302 PHONE: 970.259.0133

VIRTUAL ADDRESS: www.durangotelegraph.com

E-MAIL: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

REAL WORLD ADDRESS: 777 Main Ave., #214 Durango, CO 81301

MAIL DELIVERY AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: $3.50/issue, $150/year

distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

telegraph

According to Lambert, the ski area is meant to offer a break from the “mega-resort” for those who like to earn their turns or are just backcountry-curious. In addition to ski and splitboard rentals, along with all the fixins, the ski area will offer guides, lessons and safety instruction, all in a kinder, gentler environment than your standard pucker-inducing avi chute.

“If we can provide better access and better education than what's currently out there, that's great for backcountry skiing and the growth of the sport,” Lambert told Colorado Public Radio.

The ski area is laid out over 2,000 acres and touts open meadows, old-growth aspen glades and a “remarkable summit.” Although it will offer trappings of traditional ski resorts, like a warming hut, avalanche-evaluated terrain and ski patrol, Bluebird will offer amenities not found at your typical resort, including designated skin tracks, backcountry clinics, a beacon training park and, reportedly, lots of bacon.

During its trial season, Bluebird plans to be open for 15 days between Feb. 15 – March 15.

About 300 acres will be open to free-range skiing with the rest reserved for guided excursions. A day pass will cost $50 and passes will be capped at 300 a day to help mitigate skintrack rage or “dude, that’s my line” skerfluffles.

For more on Bluebird, go to www.bluebird backcountry.com

Feb. 6, 2020 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal Looking local Durango is a bit cliquish, but that’s just how it is with wonderful places.

I felt it back home in Alaska, and I see it here. People who move in are quick to close the door behind themselves, acting as if they took up the last available space.

Acting like they hate all the tourists even though that’s what they were last year. For real, not too many people here are from here, but you couldn’t tell it from the ubiquitous Subarus, and that’s the silly part. Locals do their best to travel in packs, dressing and acting homogenously to prove their inclusion, and it feels cultish, right?

Back home, it was Carhartt pants and Xtratuf boots. Everywhere you’d go, they’d be there: herds of people wearing brown canvas and black rubber. Here, it’s puffy coats and trucker hats. Have you ever flown back to Durango from a layover someplace big? You can pick them out in the crowd, the locals waiting to come home, because they’re already wearing the uniform, looking like they’re about to take a hike rather than a red-eye.

That’s why it took me so long to buy a puffy, even though I’ve always wanted one secretly. They looked wonderful from a distance, like portable clouds, and I could imagine what it’d be like to walk around couched in puffiness. But I’m not from here. I didn’t want you to think I was a liar-liar, canvas-pants-on-fire, so I never traded in my uniform. Or maybe I was slow to assimilate because I came here from a different wonderful place, and I didn’t want to cut ties with my rubber-boot-roots too quickly. Is that real? I feel like if someone were to move here from someplace like Kansas, they’d burn their overalls and buy a puffy coat ASAP. But if someone were to move here from a place like Hawaii, like if they got afraid of sharks or volcanos and fled to the highlands of Colorado, they’d keep their floral shirts for a while and wear them in public proudly.

Loathe to let go of a cool home, of that identity, just like I was after moving here from Alaska.

Whatever. I finally bought a puffy coat. A good one. It looks like the one my wife had, and the one you probably have. I hugged myself when I wore it the first time. I even wore it to bed one night, feeling that slick fabric and reveling in the warmth. And after experiencing the heat that micro-coat could capture, I was forced to admit that local attire serves a purpose outside uniformity. It was a green eggs-and-ham moment. Those boots back home battled back the breakup season, and the canvas pants were often insulated. Here, the puffy coat really is perfect for our climate (but the trucker hats are pointless), and it was foolish to wait so long before buying my own. Admitting it made me feel at home here in Durango, even though I’d already lived here for a while.

But then the assimilation progressed. I went to work on a Monday to find that my boss had bought me a pair of Air Pods so I wouldn’t have to use my hands while calling clients. When I came home, my wife was watching “Game Changers” on Netflix, and I learned through a painful epiphany that eating meat is bad.

One weekend, I caved to the puffy … two days later, I was standing in the hallway at work, wearing my coat with Air Pods in my ears while holding a vegan burrito.

Is that OK? Have I Durangoed too hard, like a zealous Borg? If I did, I blame my

wife. She made me watch that documentary and she clicked “buy now” on my puffy.

She’s the reason I can’t take it off and the reason I have dreams about carne asada. But still, what happened to her wasn’t fair.

Remember when I said my new coat was like the one my wife “had?” Someone stole hers. She hung it in the locker room at the Rec, and then someone without a Durango uniform took it. We’re not rich by any means – our “buy now” button has limitations – so we couldn’t get her a new one, even though I saw how sad it made her.

That coat could’ve been a beloved teddy bear by the way she mourned its loss.

A few days later, she bought an old Columbia puffy from the thrift just to prove she was over it, but I still wanted to get her a new one, or to find her old one. It’s a black woman’s medium North Face with a hood; the kind of puffy with little squares instead of rows. I’d ask for help looking, but that’d be pointless for obvious reasons. And I can’t ask for money via GoFundMe because the last thing this world needs is charity for mountain people who don’t have enough puffy coats.

So, all I can do is think about the thief. I mean, childhood thievery is understandable, but what’s it like stealing as an adult? What’s it like stealing from another person, not from a store, and what’s it like stealing big things? Not like Nalgene bottles, which are stolen from me constantly, and which are another part of our uniforms, now that I think about it. They’re issued to you. Literally. When you move here from a different state and change your address down at the DMV, a notification goes to the “welcoming committee,” and then a nice old lady comes to your door with a reusable bag full of coupons.

That fancy glamping store downtown has a coupon in the bag that’s good for a free water bottle, a Nalgene, so we all got one.

Mine glowed in the dark, right up until someone stole it, adding it to their Durango attire by taking it from mine. But that doesn’t matter because it was just a free water bottle.

But the other things? The important things like extortionately priced (but oddly worth it) puffy coats? You shouldn’t take those. And if you do, you blend into the crowd only superficially, because you’re wearing the uniform but not sharing the values. That makes you a camouflaged imposter, an ersatz Durangoan, and even though losing my wife’s coat sucked, it felt good when I realized that a real local probably wasn’t to blame.

You probably feel the same way, ashamed to think a local would steal because that’s not who we are. My wife and I took a hike on New Year’s Day and everyone we met greeted us with a genuine “Happy New Year!” and a warm smile that oozed trust and neighborly compassion. Yes, they were all wearing puffy coats, but they also wore honesty as if it were an invisible part of their outfits. That look can’t be gotten via any “buy now” button, and it surely cannot be stolen.

That’s why the crowds here feel cliquish, and it’s a good thing: looking like a local means looking like a good person. So, we’re thankful to be a part of the Durango clique. We’re grateful to call this place home, and we’ve forgiven whoever stole my wife’s coat. We hope she’s a bit warmer, and we hope that someday, she becomes a local, rather than just trying to look like one.

Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It

4 n Feb. 6, 2020

– Jesse Anderson

Another rousing rendition of Snowdown, with the annual bacchanal lifting winterworn spirits and putting money in local tills

Flashbacks to the election debacles of 2016 and worries that 2020 could be even worse, with this week’s voting app snafu at the Iowa caucus

Colorado Gov. Jared Polis taking action to give marijuana businesses more access to state-chartered banking institutions as congressional efforts to do so on a national level have stalled

The unfortunate mini-crime wave that accompanies Snowdown, with Durango police responding to an uptick in calls, mostly for drunken disorderlies, drugs, drunk driving and assaults

Manna soup kitchen taking steps to reduce hunger across the board, by helping struggling Fort Lewis College students sign up for food stamps, offering a more nutritious alternative to the college staples

The ludicrous campaign rally posing as a state of the union speech Tuesday night, with Trump continuing to spew nonsense and making a reality show mockery of the presidency

telegraph

Super Droll This past Sunday, Kansas City fans across the nation were surprised when their team won the big game, but they shouldn’t have been. Three days prior, Fiona the psychic hippopotamus from the Cincinnati Zoo predicted Kansas City’s win by throwing up on an “enrichment item” emblazoned with the Chief’s logo, in much the same way she correctly predicted the Eagles’ win in ’18. However, it is surprising that Fiona was only the second most ridiculous person to vomit on Kansas City during this week’s news cycle.

WordontheStreet

Q

“People in Durango like to drink beer, and the caucus leader needs to have good energy.”

With caucus mania upon us, the Telegraph asked: “What would you do to make your caucus more raucous?”

William

Brian

“Treat it like the Super Bowl, where you don’t have to be rooting for the same team in order to express ideas and have fun.”

“Make it engaging, have music and talk about real-world problems.”

Baley

“Have everyone eat gummies and dress up as their favorite president.”

“Serve alcohol.”

Ryan

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Feb. 6, 2020 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Five Super Bowl LIV takeaways To the editor, Bill Murray has used up all the funny left.

That kid sure can run.

Yes, half time can be both sex drenched and empowering.

Patrick Mahomes is never, ever, out of the game.

President Trump thinks the Kansas City Chiefs play in Kansas.

– john van becay, via e-mail

A world without Trump To the editor, I recently heard a question posed of what would happen if the Senate removed the current occupant of the White House.

This is my answer to Sen. Cory Gardner: We would begin to 1) free babies from cages; 2) give all children in America access to good nutrition and education; 3) reduce maternal mortality by denying religious freedom to anyone who denies religious freedom and access to health care for women; 4) treat our air, water and soil with a respect that allows our climate to stabilize as much as possible to prevent the current state of nations on the run; and 5) work on an economic system that benefits all, not so few.

– Stephanie Johnson, Durango

Livestock insurance a reasonable approach To the editor, With wolf reintroduction on the Colorado ballot for 2020, cattle ranchers and livestock owners have been up in arms.

Wolves were hunted to extinction in Colorado in the 1940s, largely at the hands of ranchers seeking to protect their livestock. Understandably, they worry that the reintroduction of wolves could mean the loss of profit and animal lives. Most ranchers argue that wolves should not be reintroduced, or that losses due to reintroduction should be covered by the government.

Historically, insurance has offered individuals protection from random, low frequency events, such as fires, earthquakes and floods. In this model of insurance, many people join a pool of covered individuals each paying into a pot of money that is used to reimburse a covered member who suffers a loss. Although insurance can be costly, it is undertaken regularly by individuals who understand the risks of living on planet Earth, where humanity is a relatively new species. However, many ranchers view the exposure to natural predators, and therefore needing to protect the value of their livestock with insurance, as an unjust burden.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, approximately only one cow out of every 44,853 is killed by wolves in

6 n Feb. 6, 2020

Montana, Idaho and Wyoming, where the vast majority of wolves in the West live.

Statistically, individuals are significantly more likely to be affected by a natural disaster than ranchers are to lose an animal to wild predation.

The question is, why do ranchers feel that they should not have to respond as all other individuals and businesses in the face of the random, low frequency and uncontrollable natural forces by obtaining insurance? Already, the public funds cattle ranchers through subsidies including grazing rates on public lands, as well as publicly provided range improvements. Why are the priorities of livestock, which are not native to these lands, placed above the creatures that have lived here harmoniously long before our arrival?

The State of Colorado has paid dearly for the slaughter and extinction of wolf populations. Without ample predators, entire ecosystems begin to degrade. In the absence of wolves, Colorado elk populations have increased rapidly, causing overgrazing, water contamination and soil erosion, among other problems. This negatively affects not only every species in our Colorado ecosystems, but also livestock and livestock owners, who depend on healthy, thriving land.

In addition to these priceless losses, should taxpayers also be held responsible for covering rancher’s losses when nature runs its course?

– Jamie Blatter, Durango

Walking the climate-change talk To the editor, Everyone who is a human-caused global warming believer should pay attention to what Greta Thunberg said when

telegraph

she met with the billionaires and ruling elites at Davos on Jan. 21. She said netzero carbon emission is not enough – that even that low level will destroy the Earth.

Greta believes that we must immediately (in just the next few years) change to ZERO carbon emission.

So, to all of you who believe in humancaused global warming, you yourself have to change to zero carbon emissions.

Telling your congresspersons and senators to pass laws mandating this to make everyone else change isn’t going to work.

It’s time, today, for you yourself, to turn off your propane. Turn off your electricity (unless yours is from nuclear or hydro-electric power, no carbon there), and park your car or truck for the last time. Stop cutting trees and burning wood in the stove. Eat whatever meat you have on hand for the last time, then vegan forever.

You yourself should do this now. Today.

If you do not, then you have to admit that you do not truly believe Greta, that you do not believe in human-caused global warming.

– Pat Reyes, Durango

“We’ll print damned-near anything” The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We offer this forum to the public to settle differences, air opinions & undertake healthy discourse. We have only three requests: limit letters to 750 words, letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome. Send your insights

by Tuesday at noon to: PO Box 332, Durango, 81302 or e-mail your profundities to: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com. Let the games begin ...

StateNews

Don’t call it a comeback, yet Wildlife groups say humpback chub population is up but still endangered

by Hayley Sanchez Colorado Public Radio

T

he humpback chub, a native fish that calls the Colorado River Basin home, went on the endangered species list in 1967. But that could change soon, a possibility that has some wildlife groups concerned.

In 2018, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said it would consider downgrading the fish’s status to “threatened.” Now the agency will recommend that reclassification after determining that the species is no longer in immediate danger of extinction.

“We have stability and viability of this species out there in the Colorado River system,” Tom Chart, director of the Wildlife Service’s Upper Colorado River Endangered Fish Program, said.

In a five-year review of the humpback chub that ended in 2018, the service found that all five populations of the fish had stabilized without stocking from hatcheries.

The agency now estimates 19,000 wild adult chubs exist in the river system, Chart said. The population was around 9,000 in 2000, the year when the service really started tracking them.

The largest population of chub is found

Wildlife officials say managing river flows and removing predatory fish have helped boost numbers of the humpback chub enough to warrant removal from endangered status, but conservationists say not so fast. /Photo U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service in the Grand Canyon, which has about 12,000 adults. Four smaller populations exist in the Upper Colorado River Basin. A sixth population existed in Dinosaur National Monument before dying out around 2005, Chart said.

The chub is still at risk though, according to wildlife officials. The fish’s ability to

survive depends on drought conditions, predators and river flows.

Taylor McKinnon, a senior public lands campaigner with the nonprofit Center for Biological Diversity, said he wants the Fish and Wildlife Service to continue conservation efforts. That means ensuring adequate river flows are in place, operating dams in

telegraph

ways that help with recovery, and controlling non-native predators. He said the chub should also be re-introduced in other parts of the river system.

“They really overlooked the future prognosis of the Colorado River and its flows with climate change,” McKinnon said.

But Chart said the agency has already been working with water operators, and that’s one big reason why they’ve seen success.

“The signals from climate change indicate that we will probably have warmer rivers and potentially less flow,” he said.

“We have to just continue to work with the water managers to use the flexibility in the system as best we can to create the conditions that seem to have stabilized these humpback chub populations in the long term.”

The agency has also worked to control non-native predators like smallmouth bass and will continue to do so, Chart said.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will take public comments on the proposal until March 22. Chart said a final decision on the humpback chub’s status could be made by the end of 2020.

For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org. n

Feb. 6, 2020 n 7

MurderInk

Family dynamics ‘Perfect Little Children’ by Sophie Hannah a wild ride

by Jeffrey Mannix

S

ophie Hannah is a name you’ve seen in “Murder Ink” before. She lives, writes and noodles along a variety of creative projects in Cambridge, England, and is one of my favorite, unglamorous young writers of longform fiction. She’s also the author you can’t help but love for writing the self-help book How to Hold a Grudge.

Hannah’s new book, Perfect Little Children, would not have made it to my reading pile on the dust jacket alone.

There are so many mysteries shoehorning their way into publication these last few years to satiate the seemingly unquenchable appetite for crime fiction that plot cribbing is clearly manifest. Steig Larsson’s Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and the quickly assembled sequels started an avalanche and have cleared the way for knockoffs and knockoffs of knockoffs. The serial-killer mysteries flooded the market until nobody could think of new ways to mutilate. Lost children have been twisted into variations of horror and reconfigured again and again. And houses shut for family vacations have been filled by strangers with imaginative legal maneuverings and left-behind murders.

I’ve grown weary of paint-by-number mysteries, and Perfect Little Children promised to be yet another child-centric tragedy. It wouldn’t have even been considered if it weren’t written by such a consummate writer as Hannah, who incidentally has been authorized by the estate of Agatha Christie to have her hand at a few Hercule Poirot novels.

So here’s the story: All Beth Leeson has to do is drive

8 n Feb. 6, 2020

her son to his soccer game, hang around in the bleachers pretending to watch the melee, load the warrior back into the SUV and head home.

Instead, she decides to drive by the new house of her ex-best friend, Flora, whom she hasn’t talked to in 12 years. The idea is to catch a glimpse of the house and, well, maybe get a peek at Flora and her children of the same age as her own. A crazy itch, a little illicit sleuthing, a ready excuse in the event she’s spotted.

Beth arrives and parks out of sight across the street as Flora and children Thomas and Emily are getting out of the car near the house. Flora appears older, as expected, but the children are the same age as she last saw them 12 years ago, and she hears Flora call their familiar names – “Thomas, Emily, into the house.” Is she crazy?

This is a new house of twice the value and size of the old one, and in a new neighborhood. It must be a trick of the mind, not enough sleep, anxiety of middle age. It just isn’t possible that Flora’s children haven’t aged in 12 years.

So that’s the story with which this seeker of literary crime fiction is presented. I’m not interested in the su-

telegraph

pernatural or science fiction – notwithstanding many great books in those genres – so I’m not curious about any reason why or how Flora’s children hadn’t aged in 12 years. But I am interested in Hannah and cannot believe she’d ask her readers to suspend disbelief just to cash in on a reputation she’d be about to ruin. So I began reading. And you should also begin reading Perfect Little Children.

Hannah doesn’t permit Beth to give up or give in to having seen what her husband labels patently impossible. But Hannah is pursuing the ethical conundrum of when minding one’s own business turns into the psychological phenomenon called the “bystander effect,” where individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when other people are present. A great unattributed quote sums up this edge-ofyour-seat story: the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Give Perfect Little Children a try. Skip lunch downtown, ask Maria’s Bookshop for the “Murder Ink” 15 percent discount and go for an exciting ride. n

dayinthelife

Chasing Waterfalls

by Stephen Eginoire

I

t’s numbing! It’s ephemeral! It’s terrifying! And, it’s super popular. What motivates passionate climbers to travel to the San Juans from far away lands to stab at frozen water with steel points, you ask? Perhaps the activ-

ity has a little something to do with seasonal depression.

Mostly, it’s the attractive combination of interacting with fleeting elements in a terrific winter setting that makes ice climbing an unforgettable experience. Here’s a look:

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telegraph

Feb. 6, 2020 n

9

FlashinthePan

Dinner party like a farm star

by Ari LeVaux

M

any of my favorite recipes come from farmer friends. There is a pleasing elegance to farm cookery. It’s a cuisine forged by a land-based lifestyle and healthy, plant-based food – and lots of it.

Farm cuisine is simple to prepare, able to tame the hunger that follows a day of hard work, and heavy on seasonal veggies.

In the winter, there are fewer fresh ingredients to work with, and farm cooks know how to convert the contents of a root cellar, pantry and freezer into a parade of interesting, nonrepetitive dishes. They can take a little longer to prepare, but nobody minds having the warm stove on. The result may not reflect the cornucopia of summer but hits the spot just the same.

Farm cooks pass around recipes like heirloom seeds. Each kitchen is a pristine habitat in which recipes can evolve.

Among farmers, the DNA of a recipe can be conveyed in broad strokes. But as in a game of telephone, missing information can be replaced by an active imagination. Which is what accounts for the differences between Josh’s and Luci’s carrot pasta recipes.

Carrot pasta epitomizes what a farm cook might prepare in winter. Carrots are always in season, which makes this a go-to dish any time of year. Rich, sweet and full of fat and carbs, carrot pasta is what a human being wants to eat.

Josh first showed me the recipe, which he learned from Luci in a short phone conversation, and immedi-

ately went his merry way with. Luci learned it from her sister’s ex-husband, who learned it from his mom in Milan. Knowing Josh and Luci as well as I do, it’s fun to see how their differing personalities and circumstances shape different versions of the same recipe.

Josh has no prep cook, but a full cleanup crew. These circumstances allow him to tornado through the kitchen, which dovetails with the fact that he’s in more of a hurry.

Less detail-oriented, his improv game is as fluid as a jazz soloist.

Luci is more of a craftsman in the kitchen and a stickler. If she needs a chopper, she’ll rope anyone within shouting range – which is quite a large area. By that time Josh, all by his lonesome with a podcast, will have already grated a load of carrots in a Cuisinart.

This recipe includes Josh and Luci’s renditions of carrot pasta. They are two sides of a similar coin, two data points on a graph of carrot pasta. Your job is to triangulate these to fit your lifestyle.

Carrot Pasta Serves 4 1 pound pasta (“big noodles like rigatoni work better,” – Josh ) 3 pounds peeled carrots, grated or sliced into coins, depending on your details ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons olive oil (Josh uses more than a cup but skips the cream, probably because he

doesn’t have a cow like Luci does) 2 tablespoons butter (a rare point of agreement) 1 hot pepper, sliced in half, which Luci adds “at some point” 1-2 cloves garlic, pressed, minced or crushed 6 ounces grated Parmesan, Romano or blend of both 1 cup heavy cream (if you have a cow) ½ teaspoon black pepper ½ teaspoon salt Optional: chopped anchovies, to taste Garnish suggestion: parsley Cook the carrots in a skillet on low heat with ½ cup olive oil. Josh cooks his grated carrots for about 30 minutes, which for him is an eternity, stirring often. Luci cooks her coins for two to three hours, stirring occasionally, until they nearly disintegrate.

The carrots will release water as they cook down and may spend some time submerged until the water cooks off. Winter carrots may not be too juicy, and you may have to add a little water to keep the carrots cooking long enough to properly break down. About 90 minutes in, when the carrot slices taste faintly like artichoke hearts, add 3/4 of the cheese, the butter, half of the garlic, and the hot pepper and anchovies, if using, and let it slowly caramelize with the lid on, stirring every 20 minutes or so. If it starts to solidify, add another cup of water and cover until the cheese dissolves.

Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to a boil and cook the noodles. Drain and, while still piping hot, toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil and the other half of the garlic. Set aside.

When the carrots and cheese have melted together, add the cream, if using, and salt and black pepper to the sauce. Mix, but don’t homogenize. Luci’s husband called me to make sure I understood this.

“When the carrot coins have almost turned into a paste, at the very end, you add the cream. It’s like when you add milk to hot cereal but don’t totally mix it.” His voice trailed off.

Toss the noodles in the sauce. Sprinkle the remaining cheese on top, garnish with something green, and serve. n

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10 n Feb. 6, 2020

telegraph

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TopShelf

Montana bluegrass, Kansas City blues and sexual repression

by Chris Aaland

M

y, what a repressive time we live in. The uproar over the outfits that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira wore during the Super Bowl halftime show, not to mention their provocative dancing – with poles, no less! – should be viewed as comical, if it weren’t so sad. What, are these Victorian times? Is this mid-19th century England? Or present-day Utah? Or is the issue that these were Latinas strutting their stuff?

Imagine the shock of millions of Americans sitting in their man caves in these Trumpian times, pounding Bud Light seltzers and watching roided-up gridiron gladiators pummel one another, only to be exposed to Latin music and dance during their halftime show … by strong, talented 40- and 50-yearold women with bodies sculpted to perfection, unashamed of their heritage and sexual identity.

The horror!

To think that the entire spectacle was a nod to Afro-Latin culture, including salsa, mapale and champeta. And that weird tongue thing that Shakira did? Surely it was a nod to LGBQT culture. (In reality, it was an expression of joy in Arabic culture … Shakira’s parents were Lebanese immigrants to Colombia, after all.)

And to get political! Children in cages with another child singing “Born in the U.S.A.” was unimaginable to many. Predictably, White Twitter blew up. Every Karen or Becky who ever sat through Sunday school rallied on their cellphones to vent.

And the Brads and Chads were right behind them. The presidential candidate with 40-plus sexual assault complaints and who openly bragged about “grabbing women by the pussy” was their guy, a pillar of American values. He protects their 401Ks and right to bear arms, after all, while stripping women of the freedom to make choices over their bodies.

I applaud the NFL for choosing J-Lo and Shakira to perform in the city known as the Capital of Latin America. The league that muzzled and blacklisted Colin Kaepernick for exercising his First Amendment rights actually got it right this time. My old man was right. Even a blind pig occasionally finds an acorn. Bravo!

The Lil Smokies return to the Animas City Theatre for 8:30 p.m. shows tonight (Thurs., Feb. 6) and Friday. The Missoula bluegrassers are touring in support of their third album, “Tornillo,” which was released in January. In just a few short years, the group has won the Telluride Bluegrass band contest (2015), appeared numerous times on Reservoir Hill in Pagosa Springs, and at other venues and festivals like Red Rocks, LOCKN’ and High Sierra.

Their prior two albums, 2013’s eponymous effort and 2017’s “Changing Shades” have become favorites on local bluegrass and Americana shows with tunes like “The City,” “Might as Well” and “California” showing a sophistication beyond their years. This isn’t surprising, given they draw on the Laurel Canyon songwriting of the 1970s as much as newer bluegrass jam bands. Still, their live energy is that of a rock band, as many fans can attest. The Front Range bluegrass quartet, Chain Station, opens each night.

Black Sabbath Cover Night, the latest installment of the

KDUR fundraiser, is now sold out, which is a shame if you missed out. Those with tickets will get the chance to see such local bands as Lawn Chair Kings, Farmington Hill, Carute Roma, Ragwater and Bob’s Yr Uncle ock out to their favorite Sabbath. Doors open at 7 Saturday at the ACT, with music to start soon after.

International Guitar Night returns to the Community Concert Hall at 7:30 p.m.

Lil’ Smokies tonight, with performers from England, Turkey, Finland and Hawaii showcasing their chops. Mike Dawes is an English picker best known for his work as lead guitarist for Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues. The Turkish-born Cenk Erdogan is an award-winning jazz guitarist who specializes in fretless guitars. Finland’s Olli Soikkeli is schooled in the gypsy swing of Django Reinhardt. And Hawaii’s Jim “Kimo” West is a slack key maestro who dabbles in West African and Middle Eastern guitar.

The Met: Live in HD screens the beloved “Porgy and Bess” at 10:55 a.m. Saturday. One of America’s favorite operas, James Robinson’s stylish production transports audiences to the Charleston waterfront with vibrant music, dancing, emotion and heartbreak. Critics rave about their treatment of the Gershwin opera. Run time is nearly 3½ hours.

Many have become fans of Kansas City blues singer/ guitarist Samantha Fish through her sets at Blues & Brews. She’ll return for an intimate, rocking performance at Club Red in Mountain Village at 8 p.m. Sunday. After recording for years on Germany’s legendary Ruf label, she’s moved to the esteemed Rounder imprint back in the States for her latest album, “Kill or Be Kind.” There’s still a bit of her old edge (her cigar box guitar on the album’s lead track, “Bulletproof,” is incendiary), but the now 30-year-old showcases her songwriting skills and soulful balladry as well.

Trout Steak Revival plays Telluride’s Sheridan Opera House at 8 p.m. Friday, followed by a free aftershow party at the bar with our own Badly Bent. Trout Steak burst into our collective imaginations in 2014 when they won the Telluride Band Competition, earning them a main stage set the following year. Their latest record, “Spirit to the Sea,” was produced by Chris Pandolfi of the Infamous Stringdusters. The Front Range quintet has continued to appear at festivals throughout the region, including a couple of appearances on Reservoir Hill. Fret not if you can’t make it up to T-Ride this weekend; they’re one of the headliners at this April’s Durango Bluegrass Meltdown.

Celtic multi-instrumentalist Dave Curley will perform a house concert at 6 p.m. tonight at 2356 County Road 220. Curley, who hails from Corofin, County Galway, has made big waves in the Irish music scene across Europe and America. He’s performed in Durango in the past with Runa, the Hydes and One for the Foxes. Durango’s own Lyn Boyer will also perform. Tickets and information are available at durangocelticfestival.com.

Elsewhere: Smelter Mountain Boys bring bluegrass back to Durango Craft Spirits at 6 p.m. Friday; and the Black Velvet Trio plays Down the Rabbit Hole at 7 p.m. Saturday.

At the dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale? Email me at chrisa@gobrain storm.net. n

telegraph

Putting the pieces together is my passion.

Let me help you with the real estate puzzle.

Gillian Arnwine 970-749-3704 gillian@wellsgroupdurango.com Feb. 6, 2020 n 11

onthetown

Thursday06

Durango Film Fest Beer Release Party, featuring Malbec Stout, 5-8 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Living Your Best Life with Disabilities: Understanding Social Security and Other Benefits, cohosted by Southwest Center for Independence, 1:30-2:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Adam Swanson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Live music, 6-9 p.m., DJ Hakan 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Seven Rivers Farmers Market, 2:30-5:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio.

Jelly Bellies perform, 7-11 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon.

Thursday Afternoon Social Club for veterans, spouses and supporters, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Karaoke, 7 p.m.-close, VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Wild Roses perform, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Ecstatic Dance with DJ Wildcat, 7-10 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Tim Sullivan performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Garrett Young Collective performs, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 201 E. 2nd Ave.

Open Mic Night, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

Saturday08

Irish Music Jam, 12:30-4 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. Wild & Scenic Film Festival, 1 and 3:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. durangoccl.org.

Blue Moon Ramblers, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Joel Racheff performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Open Mic Night, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Hermosa Coffee Roasters, 738 Main Ave.

Monday10 Joel Racheff performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

2020 Silverton WhiteOut, 9 a.m., Silverton.

Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8 p.m., Jean-Pierre Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Henry Stoy, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Acoustic Music Jam, 7 p.m., Pine River Library, Bayfield.

The Met: Live in HD, featuring Gershwin’s “Porgy and Bess,” 10:55 a.m., Student Union Vallecito Room, FLC. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Rob Webster performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main .

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

601 Main Ave.

“Sleep: What You Need to Know,” part of the LifeLong Learning Lecture series, 7 p.m., FLC Noble Hall, Room 130. www.fortlewis.edu.

Coffee and Conversations: A shared meal with local homeless and food-insecure residents, 12:302:30 p.m., Schneider Park. www.communitycompassio noutreach.com.

Laugh Therapy Stand-Up Comedy Open Mic, 8 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Adam Swanson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

International Guitar Night 20th Anniversary Tour, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Full Moon Howler, 6 p.m., Durango Nordic Center. durangonordic.org.

Open Mic & Stand-Up Comedy, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Lacey Black performs, 6-8 p.m., Lone Spur Café, 619 Main Ave.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Black Velvet Trio performs, 6-10 p.m., Down the Rabbit Hole, 640 Main Ave.

The Lil Smokies perform, 8:30 p.m., 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Jack Ellis performs, 6-10 p.m., Seven Rivers Steak House, Sky Ute Resort, Ignacio.

Friday07

Garrett Young Collective performs, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 201 E. 2nd Ave.

Snowscape Winter Carnival, Feb. 7-9, Kendall Mountain, Silverton. www.skikendall.com.

DJ Side Affex, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Durango Earlybird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA, 45 Stewart St.

Contiki Party with the Aussies, 9 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday11 “India and Pakistan,” part of the Great Decisions Discussion Group, 11:45 a.m.-1:45 p.m., Durango Public Library. www.fpa.org.

Terry Rickard performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Rotary Club meets, 6 p.m., Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave. 385-7899.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave. 403-3068.

DJ Crazy Charlie, 6:30-10:30 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon, Gem Village.

Leah Orlikowski performs, 7 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Latin Dance Night, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave. Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday12

Sunday09

Winter Bike to Work Day, 7-9 a.m., Studio &, 1027 Main Ave. getarounddurango.com.

Rob Webster performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Henry Stoy, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Wine Bar,

BookMarks Discussion Group, featuring Educated

by Tara Westover, 2 p.m., Pine River Library, Bayfield.4

REAL radio, REAL people DURANGO COMMUNITY RADIO AT FORT LEWIS COLLEGE

#!

12 n Feb. 6, 2020

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91.9 93.9

KDUR.ORG

AskRachel Interesting fact: There’s no agreed-upon nickname for this decade yet (surprise!) or the last one, but the Brits call the 2000s the “naughties,” and I’ve never wanted to go back in time and/or to England so badly.

Dear Rachel, I just turned 50. I thought this one would be a smaller deal than turning 40. Why would I think that? No clue. But boy, how wrong was I. When I turned 50 and a day, I learned that hangovers get automatically rougher in this decade. At 50 and a week, my headache was still lingering like an inlaw with attachment issues. Is it downhill from here? Is this why you don’t see pub crawls for someone’s 70th or 80th birthday?

- Wimpy at Fifty Dear Wizened Elder, What you’re enduring is like a coming-of-age ritual, which in many cultures is wasted on the young people entering adulthood. Really, the big shift is leaving adulthood – and I say this as someone who got there when I was like 27. Booze hurts, and your friends kind of suck for leaving your house without taking out their empties, and you find your best social circle is the one that likes eating a buffet at 4 p.m. and then lying about getting up early the next day.

– Welcome to the club, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I’m starting my own business. I can’t take it anymore, working for someone else and having “supervisors” and other euphemisms because ap-

Donny Johnson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Thank the Veterans potluck, 5:30 p.m., Peter Neds performs, 7-8:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. 828-7777.

Terry Rickard performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main.

San Juan Basin Archaeological Society presentation on “Social Groups at the Basketmaker-Pueblo Transition: Interpretations from the Procession Panel,” 7 p.m., Center of Southwest Studies, Fort Lewis College. sjbas.org.

parently we can’t say “boss” anymore. I just have to figure out what my business will be. I went to register my business and they wanted me to explain what kind of good or service I provide. So that’s kind of a sticking point right now. What do you think I should do?

– Takin’ Care of Business Dear All Superego and No Bite, I was driving home late the other night, and I was really hungry. But even McDonald’s was closed. Either that, or it just looked sketchy with no one there. And I didn’t want a burger anyway. What I really wanted was a home-cooked meal, so for a moment I could pretend I had a family who was also awake and hungry at 4 a.m. Can you do something like that for me, right when I need it?

– Working overtime, Rachel Dear Rachel, You want to know what keeps me up at night? It’s wondering how future people will distinguish this decade of twenties from the roaring one. We just call that “the Twenties.” I can’t imagine future people won’t call this current decade “the Twenties.” Did people in the 1800s call their decade “the Twenties,” too?

When do we come up with a new name for our twenties? Or else when do we transition the label forward a hundred years?

– Identity Crisis Dear Twangled and Tworn, It is a fact well established that culture as we know it didn’t start until the 1900s. So we naturally didn’t think

about what future people would call their decades. It’s like when the Modernists called themselves “Modernists,” and future people (who are just as modern!) were like, well poop, what do we call ourselves now? So maybe this decade is the Post-Twenties. Or, if things keep progressing as well as a fifty-year-old’s hangover, it’ll become the Whimpering Twenties.

You’re twelcome, Rachel

Room 130. www.fortlewis.edu.

www.animascitytheatre.com.

Mystery Science 3000: “The Great Cheesy Movie Circus,” 7:30 p.m., Feb. 13, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Free Skiing, Feb. 23, event also runs March 29, Kendall Mountain in Silverton. www.skikendall.com.

Happy Birthday to the League of Women Voters and Open House, noon-3 p.m., Feb. 14, La Plata County Clerk and Recorder’s office, 679 Turner Dr. www.lwvlaplata.org.

Campus Civic Engagement Kickoff, 3:30-5 p.m., Feb. 14, FLC Center for Southwest Studies.

Karaoke with Crazy Charlie, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Ongoing “Hat on a Hat” by Trey Duvall, thru Feb. 20 FLC Art Gallery.

“Retrospective Art Show: 1960-2020” by Peggy Cloy, thru March 24, Smiley Building 2nd floor, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. “Inside Out: Visions from the Artist’s Mind,” thru April 2020, Southern Ute Museum. www.southernutemu seum.org.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Thur-Sun, 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E 8th Ave.

Upcoming “The Women Wore White,” part of the Life-Long Learning Lecture series, 7 p.m., Feb. 13, FLC Noble Hall,

Che Apalache in Concert, presented by KSUT, 7:30 p.m., Feb. 25, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. ksut.org.

The Actors’ Gang: “The New Colossus,” directed by Tim Robbins, 7:30 p.m., Feb. 25-26, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Sticks-N-Thorns performs, 8 p.m., Feb. 14, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

ZOSO: The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience, 8:30 p.m., Feb. 26, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Bohemian Burlesque Hearts Unveiled Valentines Show, 8 p.m., Feb. 14, Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio.

Paws for Celebration, an annual fundraiser for Lisa Parker’s Puppies, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Feb. 27, Wild Horse Saloon, 201 E. 2nd Ave. lisaparkerspuppies.com.

Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

The Vagina Monologues, benefit for Sexual Assault Services Organization, 8 p.m., Feb. 14, show also runs 3 and 8 p.m., Feb. 15, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. hen rystratertheatre.com.

The High Kings perform, 7:30 p.m., Feb. 15, Community Concert Hall, Fort Lewis College. www.durangocon certs.com.

“Disaster: A 70s Disaster Movie Musical,” Feb. 1923, Farmington Civic Center. www.fmtn.org/shows.

The Durango Voice semi-finals, fundraiser for Manna Soup Kitchen, 7 p.m., Feb. 22, Henry Strater Theater, 699 Main Ave. www.mannasoupkitchen.org.

Deadline for “On the Town” submissions is Monday at noon.

To submit an item, email: calendar@durango telegraph.com

Magic Beans performs with special guest Cycles, 8:30 p.m., Feb. 22, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr.

telegraph

Feb. 6, 2020 n 13

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): My favorite ancient Greek philosopher was the rascal Diogenes. As a joke, he carried around a lantern during the daytime, proclaiming, “I am just looking for an honest man.” When Alexander the Great, the most powerful man in the world, came to meet Diogenes while he was relaxing outside and asked him if he needed any favors done, he replied, “Yeah, stop blocking my sunlight.” As for Plato, Diogenes complained that the famous philosopher talked too damn much and misinterpreted the teachings of Socrates. I encourage you to borrow some of Diogenes’ attitude in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’ll be healing for you to experiment with being brassy, saucy and sassy.

Emphasize what makes you most unique, independent and self-expressive.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus author Anthony Trollope (1815–82) published his first novel at age 30. During the next 37 years, he completed 48 additional novels and 18 works of nonfiction. Critics liked his work well enough, but were suspicious of his prodigious productivity. When they discovered that one of Trollope’s motivations for writing was to make money, they disapproved.

Then they found out that Trollope kept a watch nearby as he worked, determined to generate 250 words every 15 minutes. The critics hated that even worse. Creative artists are supposed to court inspiration, not adhere to a schedule – at least according to the critics. But I approve of and recommend Trollope-like behavior for you in the coming weeks, Taurus. Cosmic forces will be on your side if you do.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In accordance with the astrological indicators, I invite you to rise and soar and glide during the coming weeks. I encourage you to expand and enlarge and amplify. Don’t wait around hoping to be asked to explore and experiment and improvise – just do those things. It’s high time for you to enjoy stirring quests and research projects and missions dedicated to discovery. Be a fun-loving pioneer.

Sample the joys of being a maverick and outlier.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I love living in the material world. Its crazy-making demands and exhilarating rewards are endlessly entertaining. Despite having been born as a fantasy-prone, overly sensitive Cancerian, I’ve become fairly earthy and wellgrounded. I have a good job, a nice house, a smart wife, and an interesting daughter.

On the other hand, I also love living in the soul’s realm. I have remembered and recorded an average of three dreams per

14 n Feb. 6, 2020

night for many years. Although I don’t take drugs, I cultivate alternate states of consciousness through meditation, prayer and ritual. I’ve long been a student of depth psychology, which has trained me to be as focused on my soul as my ego. In accordance with current astrological omens, my fellow Cancerian, I urge you to hang out more than usual in the soul’s realm during the coming weeks.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Can I talk you into being more tender and open-hearted toward the people who care for you? I don’t mean to imply that you are currently too hard and closed.

But all of us can benefit from enhancing our receptivity, and the coming weeks will be prime time for you Leos to do just that.

I think you’ll find it easier than usual to deepen your listening skills and intensify your sensitivity. You’ll have an acute intuitive grasp of the fact that you can earn yourself huge blessings by expressing love and compassion in very practical ways.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): All of us are in service to someone or something – to certain people or ideas or situations. We provide them with help or energy or mirroring or love. We are dutiful in attending to their needs and wants. For some of us, our service feels like a burden. It’s grating or humbling or inconvenient, or all of the above. For others of us, being of service is fulfilling, even joyful. We find a rich sense of purpose in our devotion to a higher cause or deeper calling beyond our selfish concerns.

Among the 12 signs of the zodiac, you Virgos are more likely than most to carry out the latter kind of service. I bring these thoughts to your attention because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to re-evaluate, reconfigure, and reinvigorate your own service.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Author David Markson imagined what it would be like to write a novel that lacked conflicts or confrontations – in other words, a novel unlike any ever created. Libran author Ursula Le Guin also fantasized about stories with plots that weren’t driven by strife and struggle. Since many of us are addicted to entertainment that depends on discord to be interesting, we might find it hard to believe Markson’s and Le Guin’s dream would ever happen.

But I’m pleased to inform you, Libra, that your life in the coming weeks may be exactly like that: a fascinating adventure with few hassles and wrangles.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to Scorpio painter Georgia O’Keeffe, success is irrelevant. The most crucial lifelong effort that anyone can be devoted to is “making your unknown known.” Did she mean making your unknown known to yourself? Or making

telegraph

your unknown known to other people? Or both? According to my analysis of the astrological omens, the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to do both. So I hope you will tease out your best and biggest mysteries from their hiding places.

Give them expression.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): You Sagittarians have a talent for burning bridges that really do need to be burned. Your intuition often guides you to assess when the time is ripe to withdraw from connections that no longer benefit you. On the other hand, you sometimes burn bridges prematurely.

You decide that they are in such disrepair that they’re of no use to you, even though it might serve your ultimate interests to fix them. I offer these thoughts as a preface for my advice: 1. Refurbish rather than burn a certain bridge you’re a bit disenchanted with. 2. Build at least one new bridge that will be valuable in the future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The shape of the planets’ orbits around the sun is elliptical, not circular. Capricorn astronomer Johannes Kepler (1571–1630) was the first person to figure this out. He didn’t like it. He really wanted the orbits to be circular. That would have been more satisfying to his aesthetic and spiritual sensibilities. Explaining the arduous labor he did to arrive at his conclusion, he wrote, “Take pity on me, for I have repeated these calculations seventy times.” In the big picture of our understanding of the universe, of course, his discovery was felicitous. It’s not a problem that the orbits are elliptical, merely the truth. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I foresee you engaging in a process that’s metaphorically comparable to Kepler’s. Hard work will yield useful, if unexpected results.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Please don’t imitate or repeat yourself in the coming weeks. Refrain from relying on formulas that have worked for you before. Resolve to either ignore or rebel against your past as you dream up fresh gambits and adventures.

Treat your whole life like an improvisatory game that has just one purpose: to attract and stir up useful novelty. If you do these things, Aquarius, I can practically guarantee that you will win the game.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Poet Robert Bly believes that each of us has a special genius, and the key to understanding and fully activating that genius is in our core wound. In other words, the part of us that got hurt the worst is potentially the generative source of the best gifts we have to give. Do you know where that is in yourself: the wound that could be the source of your blessing?

Now is a great time to investigate this tantalizing mystery.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish

Announcements

Wanted

Classes/Workshops

Admin Coordinator Wanted Wildfire Adapted Partnership seeks a part time (20 hr/wk) Admin Coordinator to work out of WAP’s Durango office and assist the Executive Director in the dayto-day operations of the organization. For the full job announcement please visit: www.wildfireadapted.org or call 970-3858909.

Yin Yoga Workshop With Lynn Wickersham (E-RYT500), Feb. 9, 1-4 pm at Yogadurango. Yin yoga is a passive practice designed to access the deeper layers of connective tissues in the joints, regulate energy and promote relaxation. See yogadurango.com/workshops/ for details. Pre-register and save $5!

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

Thai Yoga Partner Massage Give & receive the gift of touch Sat, Feb 15th 1:00 - 4:30 pm with Joy Kilpatrick info & registration @ YogaDu rango.com

Free

Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956, www.himkitchen.com. Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. Try our allyou-can-eat lunch buffet. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free. Hours: Lunch, 11am-2:30 p.m. & dinner, Sun. Thurs., 5-9:30 p.m., Fri. & Sat. ‘til 10 p.m.

Closed 2:30 - 5, daily.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Desert, The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Lost&Found Found: Ring at Purgatory Base Text to identify: 970-769-1409.

HelpWanted Phlebotomy Certification (Blood Drawing) $350, Farmington, Feb. 8 and 9. sw phlebotomy.net, 505-410-7889

For School or Child Care Group Free HP Envy 5012 and/or Epson Stylus Photo R200 printers, both in fine working order. Contact bobrosen berg65@gmail to arrange pick up in town.

Services

Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

BodyWork

Need a Medical Marijuana Card?

Durango’s Family Health Care, a total family medical care office, is now offering medical marijuana cards for those that qualify. Walk-in appointments are available. $100 fee for medical cards. We are located at 29423 HWY 160 between the Fun Center and Three Springs Blvd.

Hours: M-F 8am to 12 noon and 1pm to 5pm. More info at Durangofhc.com Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside near Durango and Bayfield, RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192.

Marketing Small and Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Email jnderge@gmail.com Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advanced ductcleaninginc.com

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Valentine Massages Gift certs. 30, 60 & 90 min Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199. massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 201819. Couples, cupping, local CBD. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984.

Massage with Kathryn 20+ years experience offering a fusion of esalen style, deep tissue massage with therapeutic stretching & Acutonics. New clients receive $5 off first session. To schedule appt. call 970-201-3373.

ForSale 2016 Toyota 4Runner Great condition. 4WD, white with decals, hitch, transferable platinum warranty, $30,000. 970-930-2002.

Reruns Home Furnishings Come see our new arrivals: beautiful artwork, lots of mirrors, side tables, lamps, rugs, night stands, glassware and linens. Cool vintage dishes – Pyrex & Fiestaware. Daily markdowns. 572 E. 6th Ave. 385-7336.

HaikuMovieReview ‘Christopher Robin’ I’m sorry to be such an Eeyore but this film just made me feel sad – Lainie Maxson

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

ForRent Affordable Housing Homes for sale, less than $20K. Homes for rent, less than $800/mo. Mobile home sites, $285/mo + W/S. Clean, safe, family friendly community in Aztec, NM. Only 45 min from Durango. 505-334-7100 sunsetvillagemhc.com. We can help you move your home!

CommunityService Alternative Horizons is currently looking for volunteer advocates, including those who are bilingual, to staff our 24-hour hotline. AH supports and empowers survivors of domestic violence. Make a difference in the lives of others, come join us for a free comprehensive training. Next volunteer training March 4th and 5th. For more info call the office at 970-247-4374.

The Payroll Department Announces “Meet Your Match” Grants The application for the Payroll Department’s $7,000 matching grants is now open. Deadline to apply is Feb. 12. Three “Meet Your Match” grants are available for La Plata Co. organizations that support efforts in youth, environment or human services. The Payroll Department is especially interested in supporting programs or collaborations that further a nonprofit’s mission & may need a boost while the organization secures sustainable funding.

This could be a new program or an expansion of services. Application available under the “Grant Seekers” tab on the Community Foundation serving SW Colorado’s website, swcommunityfoundation.org.

Feb. 6, 2020 n 15

16 n Feb. 6, 2020

telegraph