Durango Telegraph - June 18, 2020

Now with a bigger bump-out

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June 18, 2020

Vol. XIX, No. 22 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Third time a charm?

Hungry for art

Breathe easier

County asks for input on latest revision to land-use code p8

Mancos rolls out ‘affordable fine art’ vending machines p12

Backyard remedies to soothe smoke-weary airways p13

!"#$%&'$"()%#"*$+,'-#+./'"(/0 1/$%/'$"#)%2-3%-2%4-'(0%5"126 Come visit our shiny new Airstream! style trailer in Bird’s restaurant parking lot" 2957 Main Ave. Open daily, noon ’til dusk 970!903!1300 See our Instagram and Facebook pages for updates 2 n June 18, 2020

telegraph

lineup

boilerplate

4 La Vida Local

Back in the saddle

County rolls out draft update to 35-year-old land use code

4 Thumbin’ It

by Missy Votel

5 Word on the Street

9

6-7 Soapbox 8 Local News

Voting block

Young protestors have shown up in force, but will they show at ballot box?

9 State News

by Hayley Sanchez, Colorado Public Radio

12 Arts Scene

12

13 The Herbalista

Hungry for art

14 Flash in the Pan

Mancos brings ‘affordable fine art’ to the masses with vending machines

15 Top Shelf

by Missy Votel

13

16 Stuff to Do

These backyard herbal respiratory remedies are nothing to sneeze at

18 Free Will Astrology

17 Ask Rachel

Lung 911

by Marija Helt

19 Classifieds

15

19 Haiku Movie Review On the cover: Telluride’s iconic Bridal Veil falls offer a refreshing contrast to an otherwise smoky start to summer in Southwest Colorado./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

The next best thing Diehard fans rejoice: KOTO presents ‘Bluegrass Through the Decades’

by Chris Aaland

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) THE GUY WITH THE CAMERA: Stephen Eginoire steve@gulchmag.com

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

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We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

telegraph

Ear to the ground:

“I wasn’t sure if this was the Telegraph office or a mountain bike shop.”

– Local customer remarking on the wide array of bikes decorating Telegraph HQ.

Highly unusual

thepole

8

RegularOccurrences

How high can you really get? A new study by researchers at CU Boulder has found out that huge levels of THC don’t necessarily translate into a huge buzz.

Traveling in Sprinter vans dubbed “cannavans,” researchers studied 121 regular users before, during and after inbibing marijuana. Surprisingly, they found cannabis concentrates increased blood THC levels twice as much as smoking flower but did not necessarily increase intoxication levels.

“We found that potency did not track with intoxication levels,” lead author Cinnamon Bidwell, assistant professor in the Institute of Cognitive Science, said. “While we saw striking differences in blood levels between the two groups, they were similarly impaired.”

The landmark study was published June 10 in JAMA Psychiatry and is the first to assess the acute impact of cannabis among real-world users. Such studies are difficult to perform because although 33 states have legalized marijuana in some form, it remains illegal at the federal level. As such, researchers are prohibited from handling or administering marijuana. Some studies have used strains supplied by the government, but those strains contain far less THC than real-world products.

Researchers believe the study could help inform decisions on everything from roadside sobriety tests to personal recreational or medicinal use.

To conduct the study, researchers drove the vans to the residences of study subjects who used cannabis they purchased on their own, inside their homes. “We cannot bring legal market cannabis into a university lab, but we can bring the mobile lab to the people,” Bidwell said.

Half used concentrates (oils, extracts, waxes) containing either 70 percent or 90 percent THC while the other half smoked flower containing 16 percent or 24 percent THC. Researchers then drew subjects’ blood, measured their mood and intoxication level, and assessed cognitive function and balance before, directly after and one hour after use.

Those who used concentrates had much higher THC levels at all three points, with levels spiking in the first few minutes to more than two times higher than flower users. However, self-reports of intoxication were remarkably similar, as were measures of balance and cognitive impairment. The study also found that, among all users, balance was about 11 percent worse immediately after using cannabis, and memory also was compromised. But within about an hour, that impairment faded. “(The study) raises a lot of questions about how quickly the body builds up tolerance to cannabis and whether people might be able to achieve desired results at lower doses,” said Bidwell.

Researchers aren’t sure how the concentrate group could have such high THC levels without greater intoxication, but suspect a few things are at play, including tolerance and genetic or biological differences. And it may be that once cannabinoids compounds fill receptors in the brain, additional cannabinoids have little impact.

The authors caution that the study examined regular users who have learned to meter their use and does not apply to inexperienced users.

No word on how to sign up to be a subject in the test or take a ride in the cannavan.

June 18, 2020 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal No ’poo for this ’do In the midst of a global pandemic and all its repercussions, I resolved to take bold steps. Think beyond wearing a mask even though it could get me shot, I said to myself. Think beyond disinfecting my hands even though hand sanitizer currently pays better dividends than my three-figure Roth IRA. Think truly bold, on a personal if not a public health level. Think about not washing your hair.

I thought, and then I did. I have officially stopped washing my hair. I am now three months clean from being clean.

I never stopped washing my hair before for one critical reason: It’s gross. Humans have evolved as a species by using modern shampoo since the 1930s or so. Our relationship with hair products is symbiotic, much like sharks and those pilot fish that follow them around and clean their scalps. We benefit, and our domesticated partners get to spread around the world in our wake while there is still a world around which to spread.

However, in this enlightened and endangered era, people are tackling tons of Big Questions and challenging the assumptions we founded our civilization on. Is it responsible to eat animal products when animals are sentient creatures and our exploitation contributes to the degradation of our planet and its climate? Can we reconfigure the role of law enforcement to better serve our citizenry? Just because anyone can become president, should just anyone become president, and can we have New Zealand’s instead?

I’m unprepared to sacrifice butter, and my country still freaks out over the idea of a female James Bond let alone an elected official, so the day I became a corona-hermit I asked yet another question. Are we really, truly, genetically united with shampoo, or have we merely become domesticated to serve Big Hair?

It’s high time we find out. So I shelved the ’poo and commenced ditching the cream rinse.

The readers among you with buzz cuts and alopecia and male-pattern baldness might suspect you’re ahead of me on this here curve. But those same readers don’t have the hair I do. Mind you, I have fewer hairs on my head than I used to. But the hairs I still have make up for scarcity with their abundant split ends.

I’ve been working on my quarantine ’do since approximately December

2015. Ceasing to rinse and repeat means I’m no longer bathing an appreciable – and ever-lengthening –percentage of my surface area.

In just the first two weeks of my new health-care regimen, I made several acute observations: • No one came close to entering my WHO-recommended 6-foot social-distancing radius. Granted, I also saw no human beings in my self-isolation during that time. But if I had, they would have avoided the pizzeria kitchen mop on my head.

• In related news, cheap pizza now seems comparatively healthy to me.

• At this rate, I would save approximately $16 per year on store-brand hair products.

• If I extrapolated those savings over a lifetime, I could afford a low-end inflatable stand-up paddleboard with adjustable paddle and carrying backpack.

• Falling in the lake off my new paddleboard will likely rinse dirt and other accumulated particles from my follicles, thereby saving me entire showers and additional dollars on my water heating bills that I can invest in a second paddleboard. You know, in case anyone is ever again willing to be my friend in public. Or in case the first one pops.

Once I got past the fact that my hair was changing colors in the same way my childhood baseball mitts changed colors when I oiled them, the shampoo shackles fell from my spirit. I could go camping for more than a weekend without facilities. I could pack a suitcase without any liquids. I could do anything I wanted, because how do you stop a man who has lost all sense of dignity?

I called my little sister – who had also freed herself from personal hygiene many years before, without cover of a widespread virus – to celebrate. She asked me how my baking soda washes were going.

Baking soda washes?

Yes. She explained that a baking soda wash, followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse, would remove excess gunk and balance my natural pH and that I still needed to do SOMETHING with my hair unless I wanted dreadlocks that looked like the inside of my shower drain.

So I relented two weeks into my lifelong goal of not washing my hair. But I still haven’t touched the ’poo, nor do I intend to. I feel more liberated than ever, now that my natural oils have found their harmony. Besides, I can’t afford new shampoo unless the paddleboard company starts accepting my returns.

Thumbin’It The U.S. Senate passing the historic “Great American Outdoors” public lands package which, at long last, would fully fund the Land and Water Conservation Fund and begin addressing the $19B maintenance backlog at national parks Mark Zuckerberg pledging to help get out the vote for the 2020 election on his social media platforms, Facebook and Instagram Major victory for LGBTQ rights with the Supreme Court ruling this week that workers are protected by federal law from being fired on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity

4 n June 18, 2020

– Zach Hively

Sign of the Downfall: Excessive graffiti and vandalism becoming an increasing problem at Bakers Bridge which, despite being a popular summertime hangout, is mostly on private land Several fires flaring up around the region this week, signaling another smoky summer with no relief in the long-range forecast Armed “militias” showing up and intimidating attendees at recent Black Lives Matter protests, including one in Albuquerque where a protestor was shot and members of a group calling itself the “New Mexico Civil Guard” formed a protective circle around the gunman

telegraph

Father’s Dismay Father’s Day is here, and the easiest way to check society’s fitness is to look at this year’s popular gifts. Turns out, our “fitness” isn’t so great: 1. Louisiana artist David Lohr is selling 6’ tall alligator statues dressed up like Joe Exotic from “Tiger King,” and yes, they have mullets. 2. The “golf club urinal” looks like a golf club, but it’s actually something into which a man can pee if he’s too drunk to get off the course. 3.

And lastly, you can get dad 2020’s spirit animal (a dumpster fire), which is a small dumpster containing a candle of Donald Trump (but don’t worry, it smells like vanilla).

WordontheVirtualStreet

Q

With the first day of summer this Saturday, the Telegraph asked, “How do you know it’s officially summer in Durango?”

Leigh

“It smells like smoke and firefighting planes are in the sky.”

Kevin

“As a 9-R facilities maintenance worker, normally I’d say the schools are finally empty but …”

Kate

“I get to wear tank tops and shorts and the flowers are blooming.”

Coral

"I’m shedding."

Tracy

“Most of the cars I pass have Texas and Oklahoma plates.” telegraph

June 18, 2020 n 5

SoapBox Playing the semantics game To the editor, Today’s social and political climate is the most divisive in modern history; or at least that’s what I keep hearing.

Between Democrats and Republicans, Covid or climate change believers and deniers, and now social justice warriors and white supremacists, I see the same arguments circling each other without meaningful acknowledgment. Not only are the arguers burning bridges with each other, they are also burning apart their rhetorical understanding of one another. What I’m referring to is that in many arguments today, one party defends semantics; the use of a word or phrase in a sentence, while the other argues pragmatics; the use of a word or phrase within a greater context.

Here’s a simple example of a semantic argument: “Apples have red skin, therefore it is not racist if a football team is called the Redskins.”

What this argument claims is that the term “Redskin” is not racist because we use that phrase to describe a fruit.

However, this negates the pragmatic argument that a football team, owned by a white person, is profiting off a stereotype used to “other” a group of systemically oppressed people. But to the semantic arguer, we’d also have to stop saying that apples have red skin.

Here’s a real example of a semantic argument from Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe on climate change: “In case we have forgotten – because we keep hearing that 2014 has been the warmest year on record – I ask the chair, do you know what this is?” Inhofe takes a snowball out of a plastic bag, “It’s a snowball – just from outside here. So it’s very, very cold out.”

Inhofe attempted to discredit climate change without acknowledging the pragmatics of it; that the concept itself is a pattern of weather over time. To simply say that

it snowed in the winter is to say that “Indeed, apples do have red skin, so that phrase is not racist.”

With this understanding, I can now introduce my main point. We are going into our third week of protesting since George Floyd’s death, I am seeing people use these tactics to belittle the Black Lives Matter movement.

The semantic arguer says, “All lives matter and to say otherwise is racist against non-black people.”

While the pragmatic arguer says, “Black lives matter because there is a history of disproportionate systematic oppression and violence against black community members that still exists today.”

Now this is where things get a little bit sensitive with a personal example. I recently outed a business owner on my Instagram for being racist after lecturing me about “Muslims converting the Blacks to conspire against (white people).” He responded with a colossal bombardment of comments, but one of them stood out: “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.”

This is where semantics has ruined discourse. You can say anything you want, but as long as you preface with, “I’m not racist, but … ,” semantic arguers will agree.

We need to step away from conformation-comfort and start looking at the world pragmatically. Oh, there’s “Black on Black crime?” Why do you say that? Is it to recognize a history of traumatic oppression that puts communities of color in survival situations, or is it to negate that the traumatic oppression carries on today?

If you say you’re not racist, you’re ignoring systems that benefit your daily life and therefore are likely in fact, a racist; especially if you say otherwise.

Look at the big picture. Everything – every cell’s mitosis; every tree’s collapse; every atom’s fusion; every birth and death; as well as every argument – is in the same picture. To say anything without knowledge of the

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telegraph

rest, is a fallacy. I understand that’s impossible, but we must do our best, and semantics is not that.

– Aidan Multhauf, Durango

Coming together for schools, jobs

To the editor, As we surge into the final week of the 2020 legislative session, we encounter roadblocks: cutting 25 percent of our budget; killing dozens of bills we had worked years to craft; debating; more debating; riots; COVID-19; and passing legislation to use our federal grants to address pandemic issues.

It isn’t easy.

Through all this, though, I am proud to have sponsored and passed several bills just this week with bipartisan support in both the House and the Senate.

To help support a stronger future workforce, I sponsored House Bill 20-1002, College Credit for Work Experience, with Rep. Mark Baisley and Sens. Rachel Zenzinger and Tammy Story. It gives employees the opportunity to earn college credit for their work experience. Many people who are looking for a new job or want to pursue a college degree may now earn college credit for their years of working. The bill also allows students to test out of college courses and earn the credit without tuition.

Along those lines is Senate Bill 20-009, Expand Adult Education Grant Programs, with Rep. Marc Catlin and Sens.

Rachel Zenzinger and Bob Rankin. This bill expands the opportunity for more people to attend adult education programs to earn their GED, which will give students tools to pursue better jobs, possibly getting away from government assistance, contribute to their community and raise children who understand the value of education.

Saving about $600,000 a year, House Bill 20-1135, Replace High School Social Studies Assessment, removes the high school social studies assessment tests. I ran this4

SmokeontheHorizon: The East Canyon Fire blows up over Menefee Mountain, east of Mancos, on Sunday night./Photo courtesy Reid Ackerman bill with Rep. Perry Buck and Sens. Nancy Todd and Paul Lundeen. This test is given every three years to random students, and the data was not useful enough to instruct teachers’ plans. Many testified that social studies tests should be essays, where students learn from history, not standardized, multiple-choice questions.

To encourage more people to join the teaching profession, I sponsored Senate Bill 20-158, Professional Training for Teachers, with Rep. Jim Wilson and Sen. Nancy Todd.

It opens up more opportunities for teacher licensure by expanding access to alternative licensing programs and loan forgiveness programs, and specifies how those payments can be classified.

To help District 59 rebound from the pandemic crisis, I sponsored Senate Bill 20-002, Rural Development Grant Program Creation, with Rep. Bri Buentello, and Sens.

Kerry Donavon and Don Coram. The REDI (Rural Economic Development Initiative) program funds grants for projects in rural communities that create new jobs through a new or existing employer or start projects that create diversity and resiliency in the local economies. The money will be given to a local government, which serves as the grant administrator.

Another bill to expand economic development in Southwest Colorado is Senate Bill 20-197, Aligning State and Federal Law on Hemp, which I ran with Rep. Marc Catlin and Sens. Steve Fenberg and Vicki Marble. This bill aligns state statutes with the federal statutes established in the 2018 Farm Bill. Colorado is leading the way in industrial hemp cultivation, processing and sale, and this bill will encourage the industry to grow.

Finally, communities will now be able to use the surplus military vehicles they received from the federal government to aid in firefighting efforts. I sponsored Senate Bill 20-056, Surplus Military Vehicles on the Highway, with Rep. Perry Will and Sen. Crowder to allow these vehicles on the highway if they will be used for wildfire control.

I will continue to listen to the needs of my Southwest Colorado constituents as we finish this most unusual legislative season, and I look forward to doing more next year.

– Rep. Barbara MacLachlan, D-Durango

Gardner is Trump’s puppet To the editor, “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people – does not even pretend to try,” said former Secretary of Defense James Mattis. “Instead he tries to divide us. We are witnessing the consequences of three years of this deliberate effort. We are witnessing the consequences of three years without mature leadership.”

Current Secretary of Defense Mark Esper said, on the same day, said that he does not think the current state of unrest in American cities warrants the deployment of active-duty troops to confront protesters.

But Colorado’s Cory Gardner, a senator so concerned about his own re-election that he’s abandoned any pretense of possessing a spine, marches in lock-step with the president even when Trump violates the Constitution.

Sixteen-hundred troops and military police are unlawfully positioned outside the capital. Has Sen. Gardner spoken up about this militarization of domestic law enforcement? Not a chance. Gardner’s lips move only when the president pulls his strings.

Our state can do better, and we must. This week’s horror of over 110,000 deaths due to mishandling of the pandemic by an inept president and the recent murder of a Minnesota resident because he was Black cannot be repeated. Colorado’s senator must be prepared to speak up.

Gardner won’t.

– Barbara J. Kelly, Broomfield, via email

Racial and health-care justice To the editor, Throughout U.S. history, people of color have endured a health-care system that perpetuates racial disparities.

Hospitals across America were segregated by race and, not surprisingly, Black patients received inferior care, or no care at all. With the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights Act, Medicare, enacted a year later in 1965, refused to provide payments to institutions that discriminated on the basis of race. Within a matter of months, thousands of hospitals took down their “Whites Only” and “Colored Only” signs. Black patients were able to access care, some for the first time in their lives.

While Medicare ended legal health segregation, today there is still inequality in both health coverage and outcomes between whites and people of color. Black Americans are more likely than whites to be uninsured, spend a higher percentage of their family income on health care, have significantly lower life expectancies and receive lower-quality health services. During the COVID-19 pandemic, minority communities are less likely to have testing sites, protective medical supplies and have been refused tests even when symptomatic.

It’s time to address these unequal power dynamics and substantially reform health care.

Single-payer Medicare for All (M4A) would provide equal coverage for all medically necessary care, without financial barriers. Studies of patients in the VA and Medicare systems show that with universal and comprehensive health coverage, racial health disparities shrink and even disappear. We can replicate this success by adopting single-payer M4A. Racial justice is tightly intertwined with health-care justice.

– Jan Phillips, Durango

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June 18, 2020 n 7

LocalNews

Third time’s a charm?

County seeks input – once again – on update to 35-year-old land-use code

by Missy Votel

A

fter several fits and starts, an update to La Plata County’s 35-year-old land use plan is finally gaining traction again.

Earlier this year, county commissioners released a retooled draft of the code for community review and input.

Comments on the draft will be taken through June 26.

This newest version of the land use code picks up where things left off in 2017, when the update was scrapped due to controversy over several parts of the plan. When that plan came out, staff touted it as providing predictability for county residents; something lacking in the older plan.

But community members came away with a different perspective, lashing out at what they saw as inconsistencies and government overreach.

“What I think we should have done is spent more time in making sure the draft worked for our community,” thenCounty Manager Jason Meininger said. “We should have taken more time up front.”

County officials also attempted to update the code in the mid-2000s, but that plan also was mired in controversy and ultimately abandoned.

County staff hopes the third time’s the charm with the latest plan, which it believes addresses some of the previous plans’ shortcomings. The newest draft code incorporates community input and policy guidance over the past three years while working to bring the code into the 21st century, according to county staff.

Specifically, the new plan is meant to: • Reconcile and clarify the land use code • Provide predictability and improved certainty of landuse processes and outcomes • Facilitate and direct growth to appropriate areas • Improve the review process • Articulate clear development standards • Streamline the development process • Protect and respect the county’s most valued assets • Minimize sprawl The plan also outlines a new set of tools to help achieve these goals such as: • Economic Development Areas - A process that would apply specialized land use regulations to promote commercial, industrial or mixed residential/commercial development in areas nominated by the county or individuals • AgPlus - A unique set of land-use permits offering a

A farmer heads out into his field in the north Animas Valley. Under La Plata County’s new draft land-use code, there will be a special “AgPlus” designation, which will expand uses on agricultural land without an extensive review process to encourage agricultural enterprises and activities./ File photo means to expand uses on agricultural land without an extensive review process so as to encourage, promote and foster agricultural enterprises and activities.

• Sketch plan review – A way to evaluate and discuss the basic design, concept and suitability of a project before the applicant spends time and money on a full application process. The sketch plan will move the compatibility analysis to the beginning of the review process, rather than at the end like it is under the existing code.

• Development standards - Clearly articulated development standards for a range of general and specific uses, giving applicants a concrete understanding of what will be

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8 n June 18, 2020

required to gain approval for their project.

The new draft code was introduced via a series of Zoom workshops earlier this spring which can be viewed on the county website, www.co.laplata.co.us.

All comments received by June 26 will be taken into account for the second version of the draft land use code. Residents can comment many ways, including via the county’s website Comment Portal or e-mailing NewCode@co .laplata.co.us. They can also comment during the county commissioners’ formal adoption meeting.

The county commissioners and planning commissioners are looking to adopt the new plan by this fall. n

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StateNews

Khyra Parker raises her fist June 2 in Denver during nine minutes of silence at a protest in reaction to the police killing of George Floyd./Photo Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite

The voting block Protests have mobilized a new generation, but voting isn’t where they see their power

by Hayley Sanchez Colorado Public Radio

P

rotesters in Colorado calling for justice and police defunding over the killing of George Floyd has mobilized a new generation of young people politically. But questions remain about whether that momentum will translate into votes in November, especially because some demonstrators say they don’t have faith in the political system.

“I’m not really hopeful on politicians because they’re going to do what they want to do at the end of the day,” demonstrator Klou Johnson said recently outside the state Capitol. “The last thing that ever went in our favor was in the Civil Rights Movement and that still isn’t working. We’re still getting shot.”

Even though it’s hard to believe in politics, she said she hasn’t given up on them entirely.

“My people died for us to vote for a reason, so I do vote,” Johnson said.

Jade I AM stood at the Capitol steps as a brass band played during protests. She said the political system is too slow-moving and her energy is better used working with organizations that uplift Black people.

“Politics is a lot of other people having control and us trying to hope things go in our direction,” she said. “If we start our own

organization, we can direct how we want to move with the intention we want to have.”

While voters like I AM acknowledged that voting is important, without protests, it doesn’t have much power. And it isn’t the only thing people should do to make change, Hahrie Han, a political scientist at Johns Hopkins University, said.

“It's voting and changing the system to make it work for people alongside expressing our discontent for that system,” Han said.

She added the movement also helps shift public opinion, particularly among moderate white voters.

“So even people who aren't necessarily in the streets protesting might develop sympathy with the cause,” Han said.

In order for protests to be effective, they need to be backed by strong organization and leaders who work with protesters and “negotiate on their behalf with decisionmakers in positions of power,” Han said.

This happened in Minneapolis, where the city is moving to dismantle the police department. The action didn’t happen exclusively because of George Floyd protests, Han said. It took years of demonstrations that ramped up after Michael Brown’s death in Ferguson and because strong leaders worked with elected officials.

Even though young people have seen a fractured federal government for the last four years, Peter C. Groff, former Demo-

cratic president of the Colorado Senate, said he still wants them to vote.

People can protest every single day, but “if elected officials don’t move on the demands that you’re protesting, nothing will be done and you’ll have to continue to protest,” Groff said. “There is no question that elected officials are looking at this and saying, ‘The voters are going to hold us to a different standard come November.’”

Politicians like Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden still have time to use this momentum and win voters, Groff said.

But he warned young voters, in particular, to be practical and understand there is no perfect candidate.

“It’s one of those growing moments for the young electorate to understand that you have to vote on your issues,” he said.

But back in the crowd of Denver demonstrators, people like Shawn Bosley cautioned compromising on a candidate. He said someone running must speak specifically to Black issues in order to earn Black votes, including his own, and what he’s heard so far – both locally and nationally – hasn’t felt genuine.

“We will give you our vote but we want to make sure that our communities and our people and our problems are being represented in the official that we elect,” he said.

For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org. n

telegraph

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June 18, 2020 n

9

dayinthelife 10 n June 18, 2020

A day at the

by Stephen Eginoire

What does one do when their favorite summer swimming hole is teeming with reptilian and amphibian aquatic life?

Stop, and quietly admire. Creepy desert fauna are some of the most interesting (and beautiful) to observe, not to mention highly evolved and adapted to their environment. In

our neck healthy, v filled hyp earth send favorite re

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e beach

of the woods, these creatures are a sure sign of a vibrant ecosystem – including those with poisonpodermic needles in their mouths. When mother ds us smoke signals, it's a good reminder to visit our eliable water sources, and give thanks.

elegraph

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June 18, 2020 n

11

thesecondsection

ArtsScene

Feeding the need

Vending machines bring ‘affordable fine art’ to the masses

by Missy Votel

H

ungry for art in this socially distanced time of COVID? Mancos artist Alex Bond has the solution: art vending machines.

That’s right. Step up, insert your money, punch in your selection and out pops a mini piece of art of your choosing. No direct contact required (although some hand sanitizer might be nice.)

“It captures the way people are now,” Bond said Tuesday from a smoky Mancos. “People are still craving art, but now you don’t have to crowd around to get it.”

The idea behind the vending machines was a bit serendipitous – much like when two bags of chips instead of one drop from the spiral. See, a few months back, before all this pandemic business began, Bond, who is a sculptor, was shopping his wares at a Durango gallery. But, he got a chilly reception.

“The curator looked over my portfolio for about four seconds with pursed lips and a low brow and said, ‘Sorry – this business is not for everybody,’” he recalled.

When he pressed for specific feedback, the curator sat down and began calmly making phone calls, ignoring his request.

Bond – who is also a board member for the Mancos Creative District – talked to other artists and found he wasn’t alone.

“It’s a bummer; it’s really hard to get in anywhere,” he said. “There’s so many people who want to sell their art, but they can’t. Yes, it’s about making money, but it’s also about making a connection and sharing creativity.”

The proverbial spirals started turning – and then COVID hit. Galleries, and pretty much all other life as we know it, shut down. But Bond didn’t pull the plug on his idea.

“I thought, ‘how do we make this work?’” he said. The idea of art vending machines had been bouncing around in his head for a while, ever since he had seen it at Santa Fe’s venerable Meow Wolf and a few other places.

“It promoted this rebellious nature of art while allowing for the connection to occur,” he said.

He floated the idea to the Mancos Creative District, which agreed to give him grant money to procure the machines. A little time on Craigslist and a quick trip to Flagstaff, and two decommissioned snack dispensers were all his.

Since then, he’s been busy finding other artists to help refurbish the machines and renting out the spirals ($3 for a small, $5 for a large.) He said response from the art community has been strong, and most of the spirals are already spoken for. “Ninety-nine percent of people’s art fits perfectly,” he said, noting that the spirals are especially conducive to jewelry, stickers, coasters, hooks and the like.

“You want it to be small but something that will still catch people’s eye,” he said.

The goal is to also make the art affordable, with items ranging from $5 - $35 (credit cards currently are not ac-

Top: One of the Mancos Creative District’s new art vending machines awaits its cargo. The spirals are rented out by artists who get to keep 100 percent of the proceeds from their sales.

Right: Mancos artist Alex Bond, the brains behind the vending machine idea, works on one of his sculptures in his shop. / Photos courtesy Alex Bond cepted but are in the works.) Plans call to place the machines – once finished later this week – outside at Fahrenheit Coffee and Fenceline Ciders. “It’s meant to be symbiotic. The businesses help us out, and hopefully the machines will draw more people to their businesses.”

The machines will be accessible anytime to anyone, from the “5 a.m. dog walker” to happy hour walk-tailers. “People can go anytime, and it’s a no-contact situation,” he said.

Bond is also using the machines to teach the next generation of artists. Through a class he is offering at the Artists of Mancos coop, he will be taking high school kids through the entire process of creating carved wooden spoons to be sold in the machines.

“From harvesting the wood themselves to carving the spoons, they’ll learn they can actually make money with their hands,” he said.

And for the rest of us? We’ll be able to have our art, and eat with it, too.

Teens interested in Bond’s woodworking shop can email him at: alexandervinogradovbond@gmail.com. n

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12 n June 18, 2020

telegraph

TheHerbalista

Breathe easier

Tried-and-true herbs for respiratory support (that are probably in your back yard)

by Anna Marija Helt

T

here are lots of good reasons right now for lung support, from a pandemic to seasonal allergies to the beginning of fire season. Here are four easy plants to grow or find for respiratory health.

If you have any amount of land, one or more of these may already be there!

1. Elecampane (Inula helenium) – A mouthful of a name, the “ele” part ultimately derives from Helen of Troy; and the “campane” part comes from the plant’s prolific growth in the Campania region of Italy.

Elecampane is a huge perennial that’s a great addition to Colorado gardens. (It’s not native, but grows well here.) The sunny, yellow flowers tower up to 6 feet, and the leaves are huge. The large taproot is what’s Elecampane most often used medicinally, though the whole plant has medicinal properties.

Elecampane is often thought of as respiratory tract medicine – but its medicine actually extends to multiple body systems.

However, healthy breathing is today’s focus.

Elecampane is used for the lungs as a “trophorestorative,” i.e. to nourish and restore healthy function. It’s used in low doses to strengthen the lungs (useful when living at mountain elevations) but may also be helpful in “rebuilding” the lungs after a severe illness, or supporting the lungs in the face of chronic respiratory issues. Elecampane is commonly used for acute issues such as cold and flu, where it helps clear out mucus. It’s immune stimulating and antimicrobial effects also come to play here.

The root is variously used steeped in honey, as a tincture or as a tea. Elecampane Mullein is quite drying. To balance this, a dose can be added to a cup of mallow tea when using longer term as a respiratory tonic (More on mallow, momentarily, although if you tend to run hot and dry, you may look to mallow or mullein instead of elecampane to send a little love to your lungs.)

2. Wild Mallow (Malva neglecta) – If you have a yard, you likely have this plant as a “volunteer.” The leaves and roots can be used more or less interchangeably. Mallow tea is soothing and moistening for dry, irritated airways making it a good ally for fire season or for when high winds kick up dust …I say this as I’m looking at a giant plume of smoke west of town.

Mallow has mild immune-stimulating activity and can be used similarly to echinacea for respiratory infections, but it’s not a stand-alone herb. It’s better combined with other “louder” herbs that are traditionally used for respiratory tract infection such as pine, thyme and elderberry.

Mallow is used as a tea, but preparation is a bit different.

Wild mallow

It’s steeped at room temperature for eight hours to overnight. This results in better medicine than pouring boiling water on it.

Food as medicine as food … Mallow leaves and flowers are a lovely and nutritious addition to salads and also can be enjoyed in smoothies. The leaves are “mucilagenous” (kinda slimy), so they’re best mixed with other greens if your palate isn’t quite ready for the texture. Other mallow family members can be used similarly, including hollyhock, marshmallow and others.

If you tend to have a drippy nose or tend to have an extra juicy respiratory tract, then mallow isn’t your herb.

3. Mullein Leaf (Verbascum thapsus) – Another soothing ally for the respiratory tract, particularly for dry, irritated airways and also when smoke and/or dust is in the air. That said, Mullein can also help to gently expectorate excess mucus.

Mullein is used as a tonic for those with chronic lung is-

telegraph

sues or with a history of smoking. In fact, the leaves can be blended with tobacco in hand-rolled cigarettes by those wanting to slowly wean off tobacco (though not everyone loves the flavor of the smoke.)

Mullein leaf is typically used as a tea for inflamed airways. Either the tea or the tincture will have a relaxing effect on both the airways and the whole person to make breathing easier.

One last note on mullein, despite popular belief, this is not recommended as “toilet paper of the woods.” Unless you like the idea of irritating little plant hairs stuck to your nether bits.

4. Pine (Pinus species) – The term “medicinal herb” may bring to mind lovely little garden plants. And that would be accurate. But, good medicine is also to be found in those tall, woody plants we call trees. Pine is one category of trees that has multiple traditional uses, including a long history as a respiratory herb. Pine is kept on hand for the first sign of a sniffle, tickle in the throat or cough. Useful as a tea, tincture, infused honey or even a lovely-scented steam inhalation, pine is also employed to help clear the sinuses and lungs. It works equally well for hardto-cough-up sticky “lugers” as clear mucus.

Young needles are rich in vitamin C and calcium and make a nutritious and tasty tea. The distinctively piney aroma of the tea is complemented with citrus notes, as pine and citrus contain some of the same aromatic chemicals.

For reasons unknown to me, pine is not often included in medicinal plant books, Pine though the late, great herbalist Michael Moore talks about it in his Medicinal Plants of the Mountain West (a must-have for plant curious folks in our region). Pine should not be used during pregnancy.

There is also the potential that long-term use in high doses may piss off the kidneys (no pun intended), causing irritation. There are no reported cases of toxicity in people using reasonable doses of pine as medicine, though you might encounter some warnings that are derived from toxicity reports on cattle eating pine needles in large quantities.

Know your plants and don’t harvest anything unless you are 100 percent certain of its identification. Understand the contraindications and potential herb-drug interactions before using a plant medicinally. The vast majority of medicinal herbs commonly used in practice have an excellent safety record.

Anna Marija Helt, PhD, is a local herbalist and microbiologist.

The information here is not intended to treat or cure any disease, or to supplant the advice of a licensed health-care provider.n

June 18, 2020 n 13

FlashinthePan

Staples of the farm table

by Ari LeVaux

T

he farm-to-table movement has pushed chefs to find creative ways to showcase the local harvest. Menus are loaded with information about where the ingredients came from and how they were treated, but the recipes themselves often struggle to keep the story going. Dishes like roasted heirloom carrots or braised radicchio can sound pleasingly earthy, but are all too often boring, like overcooked, under-dressed salads. And some recipes try too hard, tap-dancing with foam-injections and quick pickles in dishes that don’t add up to more than the sum of their parts.

But when the farmers who grow the food that feeds this movement sit down at their actual farm tables, it’s a different story. The food is not so fancy, but the dishes have meaning and history. The recipes are adapted to the farm kitchen. Some come from farmer friends.

Many are built and scheduled around seasonal surplus, and portion sizes at the farm table convey the true reality of life on a farm. I just got two recipes from my farmer friend Luci, one for beet greens and one for parsley, and I had to convert from bucket loads to cups.

Some of the ways Luci has of serving vegetables remind me of the menu of a fine Chinese restaurant, where dishes are named after a single vegetable like “eggplant” or “pea greens,” each with a simple, specific recipe that reflects the chef’s personality. Luci’s parsley and beet green recipes both contain ground meat, and like most of her recipes, healthy doses of fat. “I am not a low-fat cook,” she once announced, unprompted, mid-recitation.

Luci doesn’t waste time or mince words, and barely needed a sentence to relay her parsley recipe to me over the phone. “Go out with a bucket and fill it halfway with parsley. Wash, chop, put in a kettle with hamburger, garlic, onions and steam-saute it in chicken broth and fat with the lid on. Let it simmer so it’s nice and soupy, juicy and delicious and green. Serve over buttered rice, and everyone is happy.”

It’s an Italian recipe, she added, that she got from our mutual friend Sarah DeSilvey, a former farmhand of Luci’s (and Bernice’s barista!) who returned home to Vermont and became a doctor. DeSilvey says it was her favorite dish growing up, her “every birthday feast.”

DeSilvey’s mom got the recipe from The Complete Book of Italian Pasta by Jack Scott, who enjoyed versions of this

14 n June 18, 2020

dish in many kitchens around Rome, usually over the straw-like noodle called bucatini. Scott’s version contained a single tablespoon of parsley. DeSilvey’s mom used quite a bit more. Like a giant game of telephone between Italian cooks and their farmy overseas counterparts, this recipe has evolved at each stop (including mine). You may not find meaty piles of parsley and beet greens on many farm-to-table menus, but these simple, veggie-centric recipes embody the essence of farm cooking, with a legitimacy that many farm-to-table restaurants can only crave.

Beef with chicken stock, olive oil and butter might seem an awkwardly redundant combination, but they all make parsley taste better, and vice-versa. For a compromise between buttered rice and bucatini, I went with Orzo, the pasta that looks like grains of rice. It carries the parsley sauce and sucks up the jus like rice, but has that springy, dreamy pasta feel, and, for fun, is more true to its Italian roots.

As for the beet recipe, it also came to me in units of bucket loads. We’ll call it the greens from one bunch of beets. I prefer the foliage of yellow beets, which are less

telegraph

earthy. You could also make this recipe with chard.

Sauteed Parsley with Orzo Serves 4 1 lb ground beef or similar red meat 3 tablespoons butter 1 tablespoon olive oil 3 cloves garlic, chopped ½ cup chopped onion ½ teaspoon black pepper 2-3 bunches parsley, preferably flatleafed, which is much easier to clean 2 cups chicken broth 1 cup orzo (or some other pasta or rice) 1 lemon Red hot pepper flakes, to taste In a large, heavy-bottomed pot, fry the ground meat in the oil and two tablespoons of the butter on medium.

Break up the meat with a spatula and cook until nicely browned. While the burger browns, put some water on for orzo and cook it. Then, hold each parsley bunch by the leaves and mince the stems as finely as you can. Add the minced stems to the pan. When the meat is browned, stir in the garlic, onion and black pepper.

When the onions disappear, add the parsley leaves and chicken broth. Simmer for five minutes.

Use the final tablespoon of butter on the orzo. At serving time, give each plate a squeeze of lemon and a dusting of hot pepper flakes.

Braised Beet Greens Serves 4 1 lb uncased sausage, preferably Italian or similar 2 tablespoons olive oil ½ cup minced onion 1 bunch beet greens 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon soy sauce 1 teaspoon black pepper Fry the sausage in the oil in a heavy bottom pan on medium heat. While it cooks, mince the stems of the beet greens. When the sausage has browned, add the onions, garlic and stems and cook until the onions disappear, about 10 minutes. Add the leaves, soy sauce and black pepper. Give it a good stir and cook until the leaves wilt in the steam of the soy sauce. Serve as a meaty veggie side dish or on toast. n

TopShelf

Bluegrass through the years

by Chris Aaland

F

or 23 straight years, I packed my car and coolers for Telluride Bluegrass. Lifelong friendships blossomed, then some died: Scott Spencer, Dancing Pat, Hippie Jerry. Some of the artists we all danced, sang and drank to are gone now, too: Ralph Stanley, Earl Scruggs, Johnny Cash, John Prine, John Hartford, Charles Sawtelle, Mark Vann, Jeff Austin, Andy Goessling and Solomon Burke.

When it all started for me, I was in my 20s. Bill Clinton had just started his second term. Think about that for a minute. My string of Tellurides has lasted the second Clinton term, all eight years of W. and Obama, and three years of the current guy. I’m now in my 50s.

Back in June 1997, I walked into Southwest Sound a few days before the festival and bought my ticket. My girlfriend that I’d been dating for less than a month already had her ticket.

Southwest Sound is gone now, too.

Within a few years, I was buying over the phone and, later, online. The physical tickets themselves went the way of the dodo, replaced by electronic vouchers stored on cell phones or printed out.

Five years later, that same woman with whom I attended my first Telluride became my wife. Shelly has attended 20 TBFs through the years, missing two due to the timing of the births of our second and third children and one because of a wedding across the country. Our middle child, Gus, never got to see Town Park. But little Rosie has been four times and Otto 12.

But then came 2020 with its COVID-19 pandemic, unemployment, business closings, police brutality, civil unrest, drought, forest fires. Festival cancellations began in March and continue to this day. Planet Bluegrass, the promoter of Telluride Bluegrass, RockyGrass and Folks Fest, was quick to write off 2020 as the Year the Music Paused.

Enter the good folks at KOTO, the NPR affiliate for San Miguel County. This Friday through Sunday, KOTO will air “Bluegrass through the Decades,” a collection of live recordings from more than 20 years of Telluride Bluegrass.

“When word spread that the 47th annual Telluride Bluegrass Festival was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the KOTO team thought it would be very important to pay tribute to the weekend in some way; to celebrate the incredible music Planet Bluegrass has delivered to Telluride’s doorstep through the decades,” the station wrote in a press release.

For more than 20 years, KOTO has been streaming Telluride Bluegrass (and other major festivals like Blues & Brews, Jazz and The Ride) to listeners around the world. So, from 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. each day (Sunday will end a little early, as the real festival typically does), fans can stream past festival highlights. If you live within the station’s terrestrial FM footprint, you can also listen on your radio. A daily schedule will be posted on KOTO’s Facebook page each morning.

“Expect three days of music curated largely from KOTO’s festival archives,” the station noted. “From the very first performance of the Fall Creek Band in 1973 to Doc Watson in 1985 to the incomparable Nanci Griffith of 1988, we’ve found some gems.”

Planet Bluegrass graciously supported KOTO’s efforts and supplemented the station’s archives with standout sets like Johnny Cash in 1997, David Byrne in 2009 and Janelle Monae in 2015. There will also be a few “virtual” surprises throughout the weekend.

KOTO has produced a limited number of commemorative T-shirts, posters and other souvenirs that you can purchase to support the station, which lost its biggest fundraisers in 2020 – namely, beer sales at Telluride Bluegrass and other festivals. You can also donate online.

The station is also hoping listeners will get creative and enter their Tarp Team photo contest for a chance to win a future festival pass.

Creativity is mandatory. Email your tarp-themed photos to tarpinstation@gmail.com to enter.

My plans are torn. The Spencer/Aaland clan has been a fixture in the Front of the Line gang over the past two-plus decades, and we nearly always land in the second and third rows of tarps adjacent to the electrical snake that leads from the sound booth to the stage. We’re a mixed crew of mostly Telluride and Durango festivarians, with chapters from as far away as Pittsburgh, San Francisco and Belize.

For the past 15 years, it all culminated with a Father’s Day brunch on the tarp on Sunday morning. Fried oyster po-boys, smoked pheasant gumbo, poached salmon, elk chile, pot roasts and the omnipresent chocolate-dipped strawberries are a few of our staples.

Rumor has it that some of our crew is planning a tarp run and meal in Town Park this Sunday to keep that tradition alive.

I’m one of the founders of the Spencer/Aaland brunch. Beth Lamberson, Scott Spencer and I created it when I baked four pheasant pot pies, Beth chipped in a couple slabs of poached salmon, and Scott dipped a bunch of enormous strawberries into molten chocolate. We assembled these in KSUT’s “Mondo Condo” in the Camel’s Garden, which Scott managed, and trucked it on through Planet Bluegrass’ security checkpoints.

One security team leader was certain of contraband and followed us right on up to the tarp, where she eventually relaxed and enjoyed a slice of pheasant pie.

Yet my participation this Sunday is in doubt. As a proud owner of a ceramic heart valve and Gore-Tex sleeve that protects my surgically-repaired aorta, I’m in one of those pesky high-risk COVID-19 groups. Social distancing is mandatory in my world.

If I show up, I’ll be shacked up and masked up on the outskirts of the Father’s Day Brunch.

Or, I can enjoy it in my own back yard. Otto and Rosie can line up in the front yard and race their tarps into the back. I can relax on my back deck while streaming KOTO, mixing my cocktails in a blender and cooking whatever my heart desires. My beers would be served in icy mugs, and when I need to relieve myself, those green festival porta-potties will be replaced by my own three wellstocked bathrooms. I won’t even have to hire a dog sitter.

Festivals will return. COVID-19 will go away. For now, though, I can festivate virtually with my friends at KOTO. When that evening sun goes down? Email me at chrisa@gobrain storm.net. n

telegraph

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June 18, 2020 n 15

stufftodo

Thursday18 Josh Hoyer & Soul Colossal, five-piece soul/funk band from Lincoln, Neb., perform Virtual Concerts @ the Park, 5:30 p.m. Livestream at www.durangoconcerts.com.

“Earth … Sky… and Soul” of Covid 19, a new show by Karyn Gabaldon, Thurs., Fri. and Sat., noon – 6 p.m. and by appt. 680 Main Ave.

Josh Hoyer & Soul Colossal

Pine River Library is offering curbside checkouts Mon.-Fri., 2-6 p.m., and Sat., 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. For info., call 970-884-2222 or visit www.prlibrary.org

Friday19 Black Velvet Trio performs an outdoor show, 6-9 p.m., Fox Fire Farms, Ignacio.

Durango Public Library’s Summer Reading Program for kids, teens and adults, thru Aug. 1. Register at DurangoGov.org/library or call (970) 375-3380.

Saturday20

Upcoming:

Durango Farmers Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. – 12 noon, in TBK Parking Lot, across from the Transit Center.

Facemasks required. www.durangofarmersmarket.com.

Henry Stoy plays piano, 10 a.m.- 1 p.m., Jean Pierre Wine Bar, College Drive and Main.

Purgatory opens for summer. purgatoryresort.com Snazzy Licks plays, 6 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Sunday21 Henry Stoy plays piano, 10 a.m.- 1 p.m., Jean Pierre Wine Bar, College Drive and Main.

Chad MacCluskey plays, 11 a.m., 11th Street Station.

Monday22 Meditation and Dharma Talks, Mondays, 5:30- 7 p.m. online at www.durangodharmacenter.org/

Tuesday23 “Native Pollinators, Honey Bees, Flowers and Neonics,” Zoom talk by Colorado Beekeepers Assoc., 6:30 p.m. Visit Animas Valley Grange Facebook page.

Hiking Trails of Southwestern Colorado, Zoom talk with local author John Peel, 6:30 – 7:30 p.m. To register visit mariasbookshop.com.

Wednesday24 Great Animas City Passegiatta, socially distanced stroll around N. Main, 5 – 8 p.m. Featuring roving live music. Sponsored by the Animas City Night Bazaar.

Durango Green Drinks Zoom meeting, 6 – 6:45 p.m., June 25. Hosted by Mountain Studies Institute and Durango Farmers Market. For Zoom log in, visit “Durango Green Drinks” on Facebook. iAM Music concert series featuring Elder Grown, PJ Moon and the Swappers, Space Between Shadows and Profetic Calaveras, 4-10 p.m., June 27, 11th Street Station.

3rd annual Veterans Picnic & Raft Trip, Sun., June 28, 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., Santa Rita Park. For info., www.DurangoRafting.com or info@DurangoRafting.com

Ongoing Zoom Alice presented by Merely Players, watch when you want thru June 20. www.merelyplayers.us The Hive is open for daily youth activities as well as community mural painting, which starts June 22. Space is limited and masks are required. For offerings or to sign up, email Kelsie@hivedgo.org San Juan Ramblers, small-group, half-day hiking adventures for grades 1-6, Mon. – Fri., 9 a.m. – 1 p.m., thru June. Sponsored by San Juan Mountain Association/Durango Nature Studies. Register at: tinyurl.com/y8ynl2jm

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon.

To submit an item, email: calendar@ durangotelegraph.com

Sure to float your boat.

Issue 13 is here!

Available wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com To find out about advertising opportunities, email: steve@gulchmag.com

16 n June 18, 2020

telegraph

AskRachel Return of The Far Side, self flattery and little rED Corvettes Interesting fact: Want to feel old, no matter your age?

“The Far Side” ran for 15 years, and it’s been out of commission for 25. On the plus side, your 1992 “Far Side” calendar will work again this year.

Dear Rachel, I’m the last person apparently to find out that “The Far Side” comic is coming back. I can’t actually find proof of new comic panels anywhere… but who cares, I’m just happy to hear Gary Larson is back at it. But 20 years ago, I invested in The Complete Far Side books, but now they are incomplete. Do you think I’ll get slidein filler pages to complete my set? Maybe a new volume after a while?

-–Far Sighted Dear Near Missed, I too used to want a physical copy of everything. I had all the Buffy DVDs and the Harry Potter books (in hardcover, naturally) and the owners manual to whatever used jalopy I dragged around at the time. But I gave in to the digital world. I can find a version of literally* anything I want on the internet. Be like me. Read the comic on the web. Or, wait for someone older to print it off, cut it out, and mail it to you. (*Except the Star Wars Holiday Special. They’re militant about taking that down.)

– Moo, Rachel Dear Rachel, I haven’t updated my driver’s license since moving here. And I’ve been here a while now.

Long enough to start writing the advice columnist in the best paper around. I could blame the pandemic for my procrastination. But that’s a lie. The truth is, I have years left on my out-ofstate license and it seems pointless to pay for a new one. Can you give me any good reason to trade in my old colors for shiny new CO ones?

– License to Stall Dear Border Jumper, Take note, everybody. This is how you get a letter printed in the best paper around. Flattery: the more shameless the better. Butter me up, baby. Unless you’re pervy, like that guy who I’m pretty sure whacks it to my avatar. Why wouldn’t you want to belong to the same state as this newspaper? With a Colorado license, bartenders know exactly where your birthdate is printed, thus getting you your delicious beer several seconds faster.

– Bottoms up (no, not *that* bottom, perv), Rachel Dear Rachel, What is it with, shall we say, older men and brand new Corvettes? I feel like I’ve seen an unusually high number of them lately. Was there a special senior citizens discount? Were these cars actually cool at one time? Are they filming a “Nugenix” or “Cialis” commercial nearby?

- Stuck in Neutral Dear Spinning Gears, Corvettes make cool Hot Wheels. They make lousy cars. I mean, some guy somewhere at some time got laid, and he also happened to drive a Corvette. So using the

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com advanced mental acuity most men are known for when they’re thinking with their Chevys, they think they’ll get somewhere fast by driving an overpriced and unreliable ED pill. They should try their hand at art instead. I bet Gary Larson got more panties in the mail than any of them.

– Vroom va voom, Rachel

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ph ra g e le Te Gon n’ hi Fis

The Telegraph is taking a leave of absence the issue of July 2 for some much-needed R&R. (Don’t worry, we’ll be back July 9.)

Please get your events and display ads for the 4th of July week in by noon, Mon., June 22.

telegraph

June 18, 2020 n 17

What Kate & Nate wear on their day off

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): My Aries friend Lavinia told me, “The fight I’m enjoying most lately is my fight to resist the compulsion to fight.” I invite you to consider adopting that attitude for the foreseeable future. Now and then, you Rams do seem to thrive on conflict, or at least use it to achieve worthy deeds – but the coming weeks will not be one of those times. I think you’re due for a phase of sweet harmony. The more you cultivate unity and peace and consensus, the healthier you’ll be. Do you dare act like a trucemaker, an agreement-broker and a connoisseur of rapport?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The answers you get depend upon the questions you ask,” physicist and philosopher Thomas Kuhn wrote. That’s always true, of course, but it’s especially true for you right now. I recommend that you devote substantial amounts of your earthy intelligence to the task of formulating the three most important questions for you to hold at the forefront of your awareness during the rest of 2020. If you do, I suspect you will ultimately receive answers that are useful, interesting and transformative.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “A finished person is a boring person,” author Anna Quindlan writes. I agree! Luckily, you are quite unfinished and thus not at all boring – especially these days. More than ever before, you seem willing to treat yourself as an art project that’s worthy of your creative ingenuity – as a work-in-progress that’s open to new influences and fresh teachings. That’s why I say your unfinishedness is a sign of good health and vitality. It’s delightful and inspiring. You’re willing to acknowledge that you’ve got a lot to learn and more to grow.

In fact, you celebrate that fact; you exult in it; you regard it as a key part of your ever-evolving identity.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “To hell with pleasure that’s haunted by fear,” Cancerian author Jean de La Fontaine wrote. I’ll make that one of my prayers for you in the coming weeks.

It’s a realistic goal you can achieve and install as a permanent improvement in your life. While you’re at it, work on the following prayers, as well: 1. To hell with bliss that’s haunted by guilt. 2. To hell with joy that’s haunted by worry. 3. To hell with breakthroughs that are haunted by debts to the past. 4. To hell with uplifts that are haunted by other people’s pessimism.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Experiment #1: As you take a walk in nature, sing your five favorite songs from beginning to end, allowing yourself to fully feel all the emotions those tunes

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arouse in you. Experiment #2: Before you go to sleep on each of the next 11 nights, ask your dreams to bring you stories like those told by the legendary Scheherazade, whose tales were so beautiful and engaging that they healed and improved the lives of all those who heard them. Experiment #3: Gaze into the mirror and make three promises about the gratifying future you will create for yourself during the next 12 months.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Vincent van Gogh’s painting “The Starry Night” is one of the world’s most treasured paintings. It has had a prominent place in New York’s Museum of Modern Art since 1941. If it ever came up for sale it would probably fetch over $100 million. But soon after he created this great masterpiece, van Gogh himself called it a “failure.” He felt the stars he’d made were too big and abstract. I wonder if you’re engaging in a comparable underestimation of your own. Are there elements of your life that are actually pretty good, but you’re not giving them the credit and appreciation they deserve? Now’s a good time to reconsider and re-evaluate.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Now is a favorable time to make adjustments in how you allocate your attention – to reevaluate what you choose to focus on. Why? Because some people, issues, situations and experiences may not be worthy of your intense care and involvement, and you will benefit substantially from redirecting your fine intelligence in more rewarding directions.

To empower your efforts, study these inspirational quotes: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” – philosopher Simone Weil. “Attention is the natural prayer of the soul.” – philosopher Nicolas Malebranche.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio poet Marianne Moore’s poem “O to be a Dragon” begins with the fantasy, “If I, like Solomon, could have my wish … .” What comes next?

Does Moore declare her desire to be the best poet ever? To be friends with smart, interesting, creative people? To be admired and gossiped about for wearing a tricorn hat and black cape as she walked around Greenwich Village near her home? Nope.

None of the above. Her wish: “O to be a dragon, a symbol of the power of Heaven – of silk-worm size or immense; at times invisible. Felicitous phenomenon!” In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to be inspired by Moore in the coming weeks. Make extravagant wishes for lavish and amusing powers, blessings and fantastic possibilities.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): “Poems, like dreams, are a sort of royal road to the unconscious,” author Erica Jong writes. “They

tell you what your secret self cannot express.” I invite you to expand that formula so it’s exactly suitable for you in the coming weeks. My sense is that you are being called to travel the royal road to your unconscious mind so as to discover what your secret self has been unable or unwilling to express. Poems and dreams might do the trick for you, but so might other activities. For example: sexual encounters between you and a person you respect and love; or an intense night of listening to music that cracks open the portal to the royal road. Any others? What will work best for you?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “We must combine the toughness of the serpent and the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart.” Capricorn hero Martin Luther King, Jr. said that, and now I’m conveying it to you. In my astrological opinion, his formula is a strategy that will lead you to success in the coming weeks. It’ll empower you to remain fully open and receptive to the fresh opportunities flowing your way, while at the same time you’ll remain properly skeptical about certain flimflams and delusions that may superficially resemble those fresh opportunities.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “If it makes you nervous – you’re doing it right,” the daring musician and actor Donald Glover says.

Personally, I don’t think that’s true in all situations. I’ve found that on some occasions, my nervousness stems from not being fully authentic or being less than completely honest. But I do think Glover’s formula fully applies to your efforts in the coming weeks, Aquarius. I hope you will try new things that will be important to your future, and/or work to master crucial skills you have not yet mastered. And if you’re nervous as you carry out those heroic feats, I believe it means you’re doing them right.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean author Patricia Hampl understands a lot about the epic tasks of trying to know oneself and be oneself. She has written two memoirs, and some of her other writing draws from her personal experiences, as well. And yet she confesses, “Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.” She suggests that it’s often easier to be someone you’re not; to adopt the ways of other people as your own; to imitate what you admire rather than doing the hard work of finding out the truth about yourself. That’s the bad news, Pisces. The good news is that this year has been and will continue to be a very favorable time to ripen into the acquired taste of being yourself. Take advantage of this ripening opportunity in the coming weeks!

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