The Durango Telegraph, Dec. 3, 2020

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Dec. 3, 2020 Vol. XIX, No. 44 durangotelegraph.com

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T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

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D U R A N G O

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B E Y O N D

Going to waste

Three for the tree

Butterball’s revenge

Durango a bright spot in state’s dismal recycling report p8

Best bets for diehard & dabbling bookworms on your list p9

Even after the big day, flightless fowl still rule the roost p10

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lineup

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4 La Vida Local

More on e-bikes, elections and what comes next ...

4 Thumbin’ It

Part deux

by Luke Mehall

5 Word on the Street 6-7 Soapbox

8

8 Local News

Going to waste

Durango lauded as rare bright spot in state’s dismal recycling report

9 Murder Ink

by Missy Votel

10 Good Eats

Ear to the ground: “It’s a little shrunken and shriveled, but that’s what the whipped cream is for.”

– Local failed baker discussing her rather sad attempt at pumpkin pie

Noel nigh

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RegularOccurrences

While we’ve all undoubtedly gotten sucked into the “pay now” shopping routine over the last several months, local small businesses need our support now more than ever. With Durango’s annual downtown holiday shopping bacchanal Noel Night cancelled due to COVID, the Business Improvement District and Local First have come up with a safe alternative: “Noel Nights.”

The event will span three days this year – this Friday, Saturday and Sunday – to keep folks spread out while they shop for holiday gifts and stroll the downtown sites. Shoppers are asked to wear masks and adhere to safety protocols. Also, keep in mind BID’s Holiday Rewards Program, which offers gift cards up to $100 for purchases made at local businesses (sorry, groceries, big boxes and a few other categories don’t count.)

For more on that as well as BID’s “Share the Love” online store,” go to downtowndurango.org.

A Dick’s move

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12-13 Stuff to Do

The gift of words

13 Ask Rachel

Three page-turners to stick under the tree for the bookworm on your list

by Jeffrey Mannix

14 Free Will Astrology

Speaking of shopping, it seems retail sports juggernaut Dick’s is getting into the high-end outdoor gear business. According to a story in SNEWS, an online trade publication, Dick’s announced the move last week, saying it could open the new concept stores as early as August 2021. Called “Public Lands,” two pilot stores would be located in Pittsburgh and Columbus, Ohio.

The new stores will move into two locations vacated by Field & Stream, the “hook and bullet” arm of Dick's, which is gradually being phased out.

After Parkland, Fla., mass shooting in 2018, the

15 Classifieds

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15 Haiku Movie Review

Talking turkey

On the cover: Southwestern street art at its finest along a dusty stretch of highway, somewhere in Arizona./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

Even after the big day, these flightless fowl still rule the roost

by Donna Hewett

boilerplate

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Stephen Eginoire (steve@gulchmag.com)

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he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Luke Mehall, Jeffrey Mannix, Donna Hewett, Shan Wells, Jesse Anderson and Clint Reid

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We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

PHONE: 970-259-0133

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Pittsburgh-based Dick’s announced it was stopping sales of assault rifles and over the past two years, has downscaled its hunting departments as well.

Dick’s outgoing CEO Ed Stack said the new stores will offer a different class of outdoor gear than what is currently found at Dick's or REI. As expected, the announcement has ruffled puffy feathers of some in the outdoor industry.

“I see this as a large corporation taking advantage of short-term economic indicators," Rich Hill, president of Grassroots Outdoor Alliance, told SNEWS. "Outdoor retail is much more than putting a good product on the shelf at a good price.

It requires expertise. You need to know how to fit packs, where the local trails are."

Hill noted this isn't the first time Dick's has tried to break into specialty outdoor retail. In 2004, the company acquired the now-defunct outdoor chain Galyan's. "You need to understand outdoor to sell outdoor … My hope is they’re treating this seriously,” Hill said. “It all comes down to the knowledge. If I walk in there and say I’m going camping in 20-degree weather and they try to sell me a 20-degree sleeping bag, I'll know for sure they’re going to fail," he said.

Dec. 3, 2020 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal E-bikes and elections, part deux All year long there’s been a theme of when I sit down to write this column, there are certain happenings that I simply have to write about. And, this is one of those times after Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’ historic victory. But first, I have a correction to make on my last piece.

In that piece, “E-bikes and Elections” I was reflecting on an experience of mine when I got passed by an e-bike on our local Twin Buttes trail system, and I also mentioned a similar encounter that my fiancée Amber had. Except I mistakenly wrote that Amber had also been passed going uphill by an e-bike, when in fact, she threw the hammer down and the e-bike couldn’t catch her.

And why wasn’t I able to fact check this with the person I live with? Well, perhaps it’s because, as a local nurse, she’s been busy with the rise in COVID, and all the stress that comes along with it for our medical professionals.

The lesson here: Amber is a way stronger biker than I’ll ever be, and I should have known a mere e-bike couldn’t climb faster than she does on a mountain bike (no motor needed). Plus this also gives me an opportunity to plug that the City of Durango is still accepting feedback on the use of e-bikes on our local trail system, and you can email rec@durangogov.org with your thoughts.

Additionally, while the national media seems to have moved on from the story that our medical professionals are American heroes as they fight against COVID, I would like to thank them here for all their work.

I guess I have another correction, because in my last “La Vida,” I noted that we were going to be in Bears Ears National Monument on Election Day. Again, because of Amber’s fatigue from working, we decided to stay here that night and watch the results roll in like the rest of the world.

I was stressed, and watched until 2 in the morning while we learned that the winner of the presidential race would not be declared that night. And, of course, we didn’t find out until that Saturday.

Indeed, I was traveling back home from Bears Ears when I got the news over the radio that Biden had been declared the winner. After two days of binging on the election results, I went out to climb for a day in Indian Creek, on what would be my last day of climbing for the fall season. My climbing partner left that evening, while I stayed out with my dog, Hope, and “enjoyed” a dust storm that night as my tent got blow down and we decided to sleep in the back of the 4 Runner.

Hope was the only one I had to celebrate with when I heard the official declaration that morning. I whooped in joy, and Hope just looked at me like “what’s the big deal?”

It felt like a relief more than anything. Joe Biden was not my ideal choice for president, but he represents something in a president that we’ve missed in this Trump era: basic humanity and integrity. That night, more than any night in this COVID era of separation and anxiety, I wanted to be with people. I wanted to cheers beers, cry a tear or two, hug people and celebrate the very historic evening.

Instead, I sat on my couch and vicariously celebrated with the people dancing in the streets in cities across our nation. My buddy Dave, who is in my “germ circle,” came over and we gave a toast to this grim era of the United States coming to close.

While Trump’s presidency will be over soon, the man is still president, and while writing this I don’t feel a celebratory spirit any more. While the COVID cases rise dramatically, the lame duck president plays golf and spends his energy fighting against American democracy.

Even though I am no longer in a celebratory mood, my vision for the future is clear.

During these last four years, I was paying closer attention to politics than I ever have before. The issue of Bears Ears National Monument has become an obsession. This land continually saves my soul, and it was an outrage that Trump had tried to rescind the protections. Hopefully the Biden administration will be able to restore the monument in full and the importance of the Antiquities Act can fully be realized.

Through following politics so closely, and becoming engaged, I feel like I learned a very important lesson: it is essential to be informed and to participate in the process. As a writer, I’ve learned it is imperative that I scream the message that I believe is the moral right from the mountaintops.

As we move into a new era, our country is still as divided as ever. Those divisions are complex, and some might never go away, at least not in our lifetime. But you know what matters the most right now, and what America values more than anything? Winning.

And while I’ve got a few more sentences left, let me write some things about two other winners in Colorado: Lauren Boebert, who will represent us in the House, and John Hickenlooper, who will represent us in the Senate.

Boebert appears to be a Trump disciple: she’s echoing his claims of election fraud, while also claiming that the election she won by only 27,000 votes here in Colorado was perfectly fair. She’s embraced the Qanon conspiracy theory, which was born on the dangerous 4chan website, and has tweeted about Tom Hanks being involved in a Democratic led pedophile ring. I mean seriously, who pushes conspiracy theories about Tom Hanks?

The guy is an American treasure.

And then there’s Hickenlooper. I’ve been critiquing his leadership style for years, because, well, he’s a blatant hypocrite. On the campaign trail he touted that he was for the climate economy, but his record as Governor shows that he allowed oil and gas to go unregulated. He also constantly downplayed environmental catastrophes like the Gold King Mine spill, like when he famously drank water out of the Animas to “prove” it was safe. He also claimed the air quality in Durango was perfectly fine during the 416 Fire, when it was at a very hazardous level. However, Hickenlooper did flip a much-needed Senate seat by beating Cory Gardner, and someday I’d like to have a craft beer with him, thanking him for that!

Now, it is our duty to hold our politicians accountable and to get more wins in the realm of social justice, climate change, the environment, health care and an economy that works for more Americans. The future of the planet hangs in the balance.

– Luke Mehall

Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It A nearing end to Donald Trump’s assault on America’s election system and painfully graceless defeat, with all six states where he contested election results certifying victory for Biden

4 n Dec. 3, 2020

Durango’s no-kill animal shelter Annie’s Orphans struggling to keep its doors open amid the pandemic, which has put a huge wrench in its fund-raising efforts

Durango being named a “gold medal” recycling city with a 33 percent waste-diversion rate, more than double the state average (which, unfortunately, is dismal)

Death threats targeted at election officials across the country as Trump and his allies, led by Colorado’s Lauren Boebert, continue to make unfounded and baseless charges of fraud and conspiracy

New scientific evidence leading the CDC to shorten the recommended 14-day quarantine for asymptomatic individuals to 10 days

Lax COVID rules spilling across state borders, with many states with mask mandates experiencing a surge in cases due to infections from neighboring states where masks are not required

telegraph

A priest, a cop and a woman walked onto an airplane…

And then the priest – Daniel Chalmers, who founded “Love Win Ministries” in North Carolina – waited until the woman was asleep before standing up, unzipping his pants and peeing on her. That’s when the woman – Alicia Beverly, 25 – screamed and woke up the cop sitting a few rows back, who then restrained Chalmers.

After he was booked, it was reported that Chalmers’ blood-alcohol level was three times the legal limit, and now both he and his church are being sued by Beverly, because rather than the alternative, she’s pissed off.

WordontheScreen With the snow gods once again being stingy, the Telegraph asked, “What would you sacrfice to make it snow?”

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Dec. 3, 2020 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Dems ad was divisive, misleading To the editor, Marsha Porter-Norton’s self-congratulatory letter in the Durango Herald (Nov. 20) is hypocritical. Her deeds during the campaign do not support her statement, “To all the residents of La Plata County, no matter where you live or how you voted, I will listen to you and work for you.”

A photo of my home was one of several featured in her derogatory campaign advertisements in which we had posted a yard sign for Jack Turner along with President Trump. The ad stated that you are known by the company you keep, implying we are unsuitable company and Jack is somehow guilty by association and therefore does not deserve your vote. I don’t believe Jack Turner knows President Trump personally, and judging from the signs in his yard, I doubt he voted for him. That is not my concern. I saw many supporters of Jack who also displayed signs supporting Democratic candidates Biden and Hickenlooper. It is our prerogative as citizens, voters and homeowners to support whichever candidates we see fit, ideally without harassment.

When these ads were brought to my attention, I contacted the Durango Herald and the Telegraph, who were running them, as well as the head of the Democratic Party, Masha Porter Norton and Matt Salka. I objected to the use of photos of my private home, without my permission, for the purpose of disparaging Jack Turner, my family and anyone else in the county that supported Jack along with President Trump. The only person with the decency to respond to me was Missy at the Telegraph who said they would not be running the ad in the future. I did not hear from a representative from the Herald or the Democratic Party.

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ran a divisive, misleading ad campaign typical of political party candidates that will do anything to win. She most certainly did not listen to me and I have no reason to believe she will act any differently with you, her constituents.

– Siri Ehrhardt, Durango

We need a vaccine for Trumpism To the editor, We live in unprecedented times. Between a global pandemic and an unprecedented un-presidenting, the United States are in the world spotlight. While we lead the world in COVID infections and deaths, we also lead the world in presidential self-denial. Trump has refused to concede the election to President-elect Biden. I hope I’m not the only one who sees the irony of the Electoral College votes being the same as 2016, in reverse. Pop quiz: When is a landslide not a landslide? When you’re the loser! Oh, I forgot: Electoral College plus 6 million more popular votes. Ouch!

Trump started casting doubt on the election way before the election. His ex-wife, Ivana, told Vanity Fair in 1990 he kept a copy of My New Order, speeches of Adolf Hitler, in a desk drawer (although he asserted it was Mein Kampf). From the book: “His primary rules were: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.”

Sound like anyone we know?

Regarding COVID-19, apparently making up stories about a virus that has killed over 250,000 U.S. citizens so that a large group of folks won’t believe it’s real, is just part of the narrative. No worse than the flu, and masks don’t work. Repeat.

With potential good news about vaccines, Geraldo Rivera puckered up and said “why not name the vaccine ‘The Trump?’” Talk about a jinx! Remember Trump failures with steaks, vodka, casinos, an airline, a university.

Don’t forget a banned charity.

I’d like to see a new vaccine, one that prevents Trumpism. 72 million people appear to be infected. I believe its spread subliminally via FOX, Breitbart, Newsmax and Rush Limbaugh. Perhaps wearing a mask or holding your nose while listening can slow it down. Until then, try earplugs.

– Craig S. Chisesi, Rifle

Taxpayers’ vaccine should be free To the editor, We’ve heard a lot of good news about coronavirus vaccines lately. From the Moderna vaccine to the Pfizer vaccine to the Oxford vaccine, science is working, and help is on the way.

Since the start of the race for a COVID-19 vaccine, the U.S. government has funneled more than $10 billion in taxpayer dollars to pharmaceutical companies for a vaccine. The Moderna vaccine was 100 percent taxpayer funded; Moderna spent zero of its own dollars on it. Of the $2.5 billion it received, $1 billion initially funded the research and development and $1.5 billion was granted to secure doses in advance, with no guarantee that vaccines will be affordable.

Typically, taxpayers pay for about 80 percent of drug research. Almost every new drug begins with NIHfunded labs. The three main funding sources for pharmaceutical research are: National Institute for Health (NIH), university labs (often funded by taxpayers), and nonprofit organizations like the Gates Foundation.

Often the private drug firms enter the picture only after the public has paid for the development and clinical trials of new treatments.

No corporation owns the vaccines, yet. We need gov-

ernments and multilateral organizations working together to direct as many companies and institutions as possible to produce and distribute the vaccines.

Every one of the vaccines are the people’s vaccine, funded with tax dollars. The coronavirus vaccines should be free for all Americans, regardless of their ability to pay.

Our responsibility for the future is to create a worldclass health care system that is affordable and gives all Americans access to the care that they need.

– Jan Phillips, Durango

Biden shouldn’t be ‘squidgy’ To the editor, Andrew Weisman, former justice Department attorney who was involved in the impeachment investigation of Trump, recently stated that “The rule of law demands President Biden not be ‘squidgy’ about fully investigating Trump and his enablers. The ‘let’s look forward not backward’ philosophy is political.” It does not solve Americans’ right to know the truth about how our tax dollars were spent. Nor does it tell us how our elected representatives supported the rule of law for the benefit of the people over the four years.

Our taxes paid them millions in salary and benefits. What did they do to improve our lives?

For the last 40 years, there has been a “trickle-down” of economic income equality for 90 percent of Americans.

Clear proof our government has not held working people as their valued constituents.

We have to be truthfully informed and prepared to call out President Biden if he becomes “squidgy.”

Nothing changes for the better unless people have the truth about the last four years. Without a full and factual inquiry into the Trump Administration, the 2024 election could produce a smarter, more criminally evil administration.

– Susan Troen, Durango

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Dec. 3, 2020 n 7

TopStory

Stuck in the middle Durango a rare bright spot in Colorado recycling snapshot

by Missy Votel

W

hen it comes to recycling in Colorado, things are a bit of a “compost” sandwich if you will. In other words, some good surrounding a not so great stinky mess in the middle.

The current scenario was detailed in the annual “State of Recycling and Composting Colorado Report,” which came out last month. Produced by the Colorado Public Interest Research Group (CoPIRG) and EcoCycle, this is the fourth year for the report which offers a detailed look at recycling efforts across the state. The report also offers recommendations and steps to help Colorado reach its waste diversion goals: 51 percent for the Front Range and 15 percent for mountain and rural communities by 2036.

First, let’s start with the “bread” of the sandwich. According to the report, Durango is among the state’s bright spots for recycling.

Other so-called “Gold Medal” cities include Boulder, Loveland and Fort Collins. Tied with Aspen, Durango had the highest recycling rate in 2019 outside the Front Range, at 33 percent. The rate was significantly higher than the state average of 15.9 percent.

City of Durango sustainability coordinator Imogen Ainsworth said although she was “pleasantly surprised” by the recognition, this is not the first time Durango has gotten accolades in the report. “They’ve recognized us once before, but it’s nice to see some consistency,” she said. “Part of the success is definitely the people of Durango putting in the effort. It’s everyone doing their part.”

Ainsworth – and the report – also credits Durango’s success to the fact that recycling is included with residents’ trash bills. When people sign up for trash, they also receive a singlestream recycling bin. “Every resident is automatically signed up, they don’t have to opt-in,” she said.

She said the City also has robust outreach and marketing campaigns, which keeps contamination levels low. In addition, the it implemented a “What Goes Where” online tool (www.durangorecycles.com) to tell people if, where and how to recycle specific items.

Durango has also benefitted from successful partnerships, such as the one with its materials recovery handler, Friedman Recycling, in Albuquerque. “We are fortunate that Friedman has been able to find markets for hard-to-recycle plastics,” Ainsworth said.

Another factor in Durango’s high wastediversion rate is its successful partnership with Table to Farm Compost. The private company, which started in 2016, operates under a special use permit from the City and has grown to collect some 1,000 cubic yards of food scraps a year from 400 residential and commercial customers. The scraps, in turn, are mixed with wood scraps to make compost and artisanal soils for local gardens and farms – and, perhaps most importantly, keep greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere.

“It’s exciting, we feel like the business is

8 n Dec. 3, 2020

Recycling day in downtown Durango. The “State of Recycling in Colorado Report” gave Durango a gold star for recycling efforts – a rare bright spot in the report that found the state is lagging far behind goals. growing and people are more and more aware of the effects of methane in the atmosphere,” Table to Farm co-owner Monique DiGiorgio said.

DiGiorgio bought Table to Farm in 2018 from founders David Golden and Emily Bowie, and took on partner Taylor Hanson in 2019. The two just announced nearly $300,000 in grants to help fund expansions and upgrades at their composting facility, Savannah Tree Farms. DiGiorgio said the funds will help transform it into a Class III compost facility, one of only a handful in the state.

Plans call to ramp up throughput to 32,000 cubic yards over the next several years.

“Our future is to keep scaling up and make an entire line of products that go back into the community,” DiGiorgio said – something known as a “closed loop” system in recycling speak. But, she noted, there is still work to be done to get there. “We should go from 400 customers to thousands,” she said.

“We’re doing a good job, but the message is, we have a long way to go.”

Which brings us to the stinky, messy middle of the aforementioned sandwich. According to the report, Coloradoans overall wasted more and recycled less in 2019 than in 2018.

In fact, Colorado’s recycling rates are barely struggling to keep up with population growth, and a far cry from the statewide goal of 28 percent by 2021 en route to 2036. The report placed the blame squarely on the Front Range, which is responsible for more than 87 percent of the waste in the state.

However, it goes on to note the problem isn’t as simple as apathetic residents. Rather, myriad issues contribute to the problem, including the high cost of recycling, uncertainty in markets, high cost of transporting materials, and a lack of infrastructure. Moreover, many cities require residents to add recycling to their utilities bill as an additional fee, and many multi-family complexes,

telegraph

where most residents are renters, do not have recycling facilities.

“This strongly suggests that greater investments and systemic policy changes are needed,” the report states.

And this is where the last piece of bread, holding everything together, comes in.

While the situation is dire, there are steps that can be taken to keep more waste out of landfills and carbon out of the atmosphere.

According to the report, 95 percent of Colorado’s waste could be recycled or composted through simple steps such as more convenient curbside recycling and using more recycled materials in new products.

The report also suggests the packaging and paper industry carry its fair share of the burden through something known as “Extended Producer Responsibility” (EPR) policies. Common in the E.U. and Canada, EPRs require producers to fund the recycling system, rather than governments or ratepayers.

Under an EPR model being developed in Washington State, residents would no longer be charged for curbside recycling, with producers financing the cost through fees on products or by internalizing the costs. Producers would also pay for upgrades to recycling infrastructure and education programs.

In Colorado, an EPR program for paint was started in 2015 and has successfully increased paint-recycling rates and reduced costs for cities – all while keeping hazardous materials out of the landfill.

In other words, if you build a great sandwich, they will come – and when they’re done, they will recycle the to-go box and compost the leftovers (the parts that can be composted, that is).

“Once you start, it’s hard to go back to throwing food scraps away,” said DiGiorgio.

“Every 5-gallon bucket does its part.”

To read the “State of Recycling and Composting” report, go to: tinyurl.com/yx679h9t. n

thesecondsection

MurderInk

Three for under the tree ‘Murder Ink’s’ best bets for diehard and dabbling readers alike

by Jeffrey Mannix

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here are three books we mustn’t leave the bête noire of 2020 without at least mentioning – one of which qualifies as a unique and esteemed Xmas present for the mystery reader, especially the collector of true crime monographs (think “Jack the Ripper”). It is a surprisingly excellent first novel by a former diplomat and high-ranking international negotiator and Washington, D.C., grandee of the performing arts.

But first, and according to standard literary pecking order, we must acknowledge Viking’s October 2020 publication of Tana French’s new book, The Searcher.

French is always welcome, like a warm fire on a wintery night or a cool breeze in the shade of a fragrant tree on a stiflingly hot day. She’s a pleasure to read. Her writing is comfort reading. Her stories are put together like jigsaw puzzles: everything fits precisely, no guessing, no surprises except those of the picture she has painted once the curious pieces are fit together.

One might say that French is a writer’s writer; she makes it look easy, savory and delicious. And we come away after each tasting fulfilled and measuring the time until we can read more from her. Her seven novels, including this latest which shows her softer side, have won all the major awards in the U.S., Europe and her home country of Ireland, and have sold 3 million copies to date.

She’s the best-known celebrity writer no one’s ever heard of – in a class by herself – and her writing shows the modesty in her artistry. She’s nowhere to be found in her stories, a feat unachieved by most novelists.

In The Searcher, Cal Hooper, a nearly fried but still sane retired Chicago detective, moves to a remote Irish village and into a previously unseen fixer-upper. He is seeking a simpler life in a pretty spot with a good pub where nothing much happens. Of course, none of that will come to fruition aside from the fixer-upper. The rest will come in the form of 13-year-old Trey Reddy, who Cal nabs snooping around his house. The shifty street urchin reappears again and again to spy and then comes around to trust Cal enough to help with stripping wallpaper and sanding floorboards. Then one day, Trey asks Cal to find his brother Brendan, missing then for more than a month.

The Searcher is a charming story of relationships, loyalties, Irish customs and honesty buried within convention.

Another Tana French keeper.

The Reflecting Pool, by Otho Eskin, today’s featured book, is a found penny. Oceanview Publishing is an independent publisher in Sarasota, Fla., and the house organ for writer Otto Penzler – owner of Mysterious Bookshop in New York City and a prolific essayist on early and modern crime fic-

tion. Penzler’s taste in crime fiction might be described as orthodox, and while I receive most of Oceanview’s galleys of upcoming mystery titles, Penzler and Oceanview remain mysteries to me. Even their webpage refuses to open after a scolding about not having the proper routing for entrance.

Nonetheless, The Reflecting Pool is a gem of a police procedural you should hunt down for a permanent place in your bookshelves. This is a book that can be read again and again over time, and that you’d be proud to lend, especially to a friend who isn’t savvy to crime fiction and would benefit from the orthodoxy.

Marko Zorn is a Washington, D.C., homicide detective with an attitude. Zorn’s contempt for authority and precocity for understanding the criminal mind and solving cases has made him a legend in the Capital, garnering many admirers within the ranks as well as detractors among the powerful when little or big things demand to be left alone.

When Zorn is called on to investigate the death of a popular and attractive Secret Service agent, supposedly a drowning victim in the Capitol Reflecting Pool, federal agents are all over him demanding he find something else to occupy his time.

Immediately, Secret Service suits demand jurisdiction, and when Zorn refuses to relinquish primacy, the functionaries ramp up right to the White House.

Concurrent to Zorn’s bulldog grip on the case, his investigation leads to a domestic terrorist group and an imminent delivery of a shipment of illegal arms. Put the two together, and Zorn becomes the hunted and the hunter – and we have a terrific, fast-paced drama that hasn’t a word too many or too few. The Reflecting Pool is a nice piece of work. Eskin needs to be proud of his first book, and Penzler receives my compliments for publishing a fully formed reading experience. Glasses raised: Salud!

Before we go, I absolutely must draw your attention to a stunning book published by Thames & Hudson of London and New York, entitled Murder Maps: Crime Scenes Revisited.

This is the magnum opus of Drew Gray, a social historian of 18th and 19th century specializing in crime and punishment at the University of Northampton in central England.

Murder Maps, to quote the promotional material accompanying the book, is “a fascinating volume that reexamines the most captivating and intriguing homicides of the nineteenth century. Organized geographically in three sections (Europe, North America, Australia), the elements of each murder – from the prior movements of both killer and victim to the eventual location of the body – are meticulously replotted using archival maps and bespoke plans, taking readers on a perilous journey around the era’s murder hot spots of the world.”

With 730 color and black & white illustrations and some of the most fastidious design and unsparing descriptions, Murder Maps is written, designed, printed and bound with such assiduity and dedication that it will become immediately collectable in addition to the most interesting book you will own. Murder Maps will be on my list of what to take with me if wildfire threatens my home. n

telegraph

Dec. 3, 2020 n

9

GoodEats

Butterball’s revenge The (mostly) flightless fowl’s big day may be over, but it’s still ruling the roost in some places

by Donna Hewett

I

t’s not your typical day on the front nine. A mother hen and her four growing jakes (young tom turkeys) have pretty much taken over this side of the golf course at the San Juan Country Club in Farmington.

Vacuous months of being closed under the pandemic brought all sorts of wild animals out of the woods, including bats and a red fox, along with the usual ravens, Canadian geese and a literal ton of skunks. But wild turkeys are a different can of beans. They’re notorious for finding strut zones on well-groomed golf courses across the country.

But here, not every birdie is welcome on the fairway. Do they get scared and fly off when approached with a golf cart? No, not at all. In the face of a five wood being angrily pounded in front of them, they hold their ground and never flinch. These birds can run up to 25 miles per hour and can easily keep up with a group of golfers for an entire round if they like. But why? Apparently, they think they’re in charge of the course now. The virus has shifted the balance of power out here, which, considering the management, might not be such a terrible thing. 4

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“Excuse me, but can you not walk your dogs in this area? I’m afraid they’ll scare our family of turkeys away. Thank you.”

The human hens who live at the estates have nothing better on their schedule then to indulge these wild birds. What they maybe don’t realize is that an angry Butterball will, and can, attack a human.

They’ll charge and jab and do serious damage with the sharp spars on their legs under stressful circumstances. Since last spring, these ladies, quarantined in their kitchens, have waited days, long hours, to offer these newest residents what I imagine to be bottled water and maybe thimbles of a good, oaky chardonnay, paired with buttery, roasted acorns served on the half-shell.

Seriously though, one neighbor breathlessly shows me 10 dozen phone shots of the turkeys vainly roosting on hot tubs, truck hoods and holiday-tressed balconies, and while pecking the shite out of the perfectly groomed No. 2 green. But it’s hard to shoot a moving object, and sadly, most appear just a tad out of focus.

Meleagris gallopovom is not just a bigger chicken. It’s a species that has plenty of juicy secrets beyond their pairing with cranberry sauce and stuffing. Being a true, original native of America, they can prove it: When agitated, their head blushes from pale pink to a patriotic red, white and blue.

We don’t often spot turkeys soaring through the skies because they prefer to keep on the ground to feed (on nuts, seeds, roots, insects and occasionally small reptiles). They can, however, fly up to 55 mph in short bursts and up to a mile at more moderate speeds.

It’s the commercially bred turkeys, breast heavy, weighed down by their own meat, who unhappily cannot get it up.

Despite their girth (a gobbler can reach near 40 pounds) wild turkeys prefer to sleep atop tree branches where they’re safe from coyotes and certain venomous snakes. With strong social bonds, they snooze in flocks, waking with a soft series of yelps before descending to make sure their roosting group is OK after a good night’s sleep.

The turkey is notoriously hard to track due to its periscopic eyesight. Eyes on the side of its head allow it to see objects not in its direct line of vision. By rotating its head, the turkey has 370-degree field vision – in color. That’s three times better than 20-20.

Its ability to detect certain sounds surpasses little dogs, bats, owls and elephants.

A turkey can hear far-off and at low frequency, allowing it to detect a threat, even while it’s busy looking for food.

A turkey’s gender can be determined from its droppings. Males produce an artful spiral-shaped calling card, while the females’ resemble the delicate letter “J.” Turkeys haven’t any teeth to chew

with, so mother nature provided them with two stomachs. The first, which is one part of the turkey the kids won’t be fighting over, is the gizzard. It contains tiny stones the turkey has previously swallowed which aid in the break down of food. From there, the mulch moves into the intestine, or back into the glandular stomach for a more thorough digestion.

Since we’re already inside the cavity, we may as well talk about the wishbone. Better known as the furcula, or clavicle, it’s a connecting point for muscles, a brace for the wings and key for them being able to fly. It acts as a spring, to store and release energy, but it’s also a reminder that birds evolved from a group of meat-eating dinosaurs that included T. Rex more than

150 million years ago.

Why do we wish upon their clavicle?

According to my unsurpassable friend Google, it was the ancient Italian Etruscans who first removed a chicken’s wishbone, dried it in the sun, then caressed and made wishes upon it. The Romans adopted their custom, but it got to the point where the number of chicken wishbones was not enough to meet the demand of so many Romans’ wishes, so they began breaking the bone in two.

The tradition of wishing over the bone passed to the English. In the Middle Ages, people would take the clavicle of a goose, dry it out in the sun and then use it to predict the weather. Later on, it was named “merrythought,” because its V shape resembles a human groin, the repository of life, and more directly the bone to a woman’s pudendum (look it up). The term merrythought was first recorded in 1686 and continued to be used among settlers at Plymouth Rock, where thousands of wild toms ran amok.

Wishbone, the noun, is an Americanism, first utilized around the start of the 19th century. Pulling it apart became a sort of competition between two people.

Whoever pulled the larger part was said to have a “lucky break;” the person with the smaller end, a “bad break.” In my family,

after lots of coaching from my father (“hold it low and let her do most the pulling”) my brattish little brother was usually the former, and me, the long-suffering, foot-stomping latter.

The Audubon partisan inside me finally exhibits itself, and like the aforementioned hens, I too want the consummate photo of our first turkey family before (if) they flap forth or are driven off to better stomping grounds.

It’s late November, and no one has seen them of late, and I’m hoping they made it past Thanksgiving. Instead of chewing my finger and wiling away days in hopes of seeing them one last time, I have an idea.

I stand in line outside the local Sportsman Warehouse, where soon a weary employee brings me my desire: a $10 turkey call. One way to entice a gobbler out, strangely, is to sound like a crow in distress.

Super high-pitched and loud, you place the small end of the plastic call between your teeth, then CAW out in a strict number of series and pauses. After some practice, my family members (three dogs, one tuxedo cat, and a crossword-addicted husband) boot me out of the house, and to my venture.

Behind a large woody area along the No. 3 fairway, I CAW softly at first and then more aggressively, in quick succession.

And behold almighty, here them darling poult come a-trotting!

Our lady governor officially closed all the courses across the state again due to the uptick in corona. But here, at present, with Christmas approaching, our golf course staff, their wallets perhaps flat, may have been enticed to open the cart barn anyway. So along with the five turkeys, come two illegal golfers. The birds pursue them up the cart path and gobble annoyingly at the top of their swings. Around the green’s skirt, the young toms, with their 5,000 feathers now incandescent, appear ginormous. They flutter up rampageously close to the golfers, as if they’re displaying the kind of humor that is thought of as being very dry (get it?)

“How am I supposed to chip with this going on, Dad?” skreighs the younger golfer. “Now we can’t even go golfing without turkeys screwing up our day!”

The boy, crying, propels his wedge and it sticks like a new edge tool into the soft earth. Little does he know, but his crappy Saturday is about to get a whole bunch worse. Up the road and coming around fast, I spot a state police cruiser heading our way. The cherry lights. A siren gives its whoop. The golfers stick their hands up in the air, while the turkeys and I (with not one unforgettable phone shot) run free – them dispersing to the No. 4 hole, and me back to our house darkening in the dusk on No. 6 (a par three).

Sure as shooting, 2020 is a wild time to be alive. But rest assured, dear reader, with our wishbones and lucky masks in place, this year we’ll surely be safe at home for Christmas. n

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Dec. 3, 2020 n 11

StufftoDo

Thursday03

Juan Basin Archaeological Society. For log-in info., go to: sjbas.org.

Heartwarming Soup Sale, to benefit The Hive, 4 – 6 p.m., pick up containers of soup at the Dandelion Café, 725 E. 2nd Ave. Quarts of soup cost $10 minimum donation and proceeds go to The Hive to help local families in need over the holidays. Masks required. To buy soup or for info, go to: www.thehivedgo.org

Ongoing The D&SNGRR Polar Express and Cascade Canyon trains run on select dates through Jan. 3. Socially distanced cars; masks required. For info, go to: durangotrain.com.

Holiday Market online silent auction for the La Plata Open Space Conservancy, thru 9 p.m., Dec. 11. www.lposc.org

“Edith Can Shoot Things and Hit Them,” a virtual play presented by the FLC Theatre, Dec. 3-5. For tickets or info, go to: www.fortlewis.edu/theatre or call 970-247-7089.

Winter Solstice Artisans Market, runs thru Dec. 23, noon-6 p.m.

Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. COVID safety protocols will be followed.

Friday04

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

“Edith Can Shoot Things and Hit Them,” a virtual play presented by the FLC Theatre, Dec. 3-5. For tickets or info, go to: www.fortlewis.edu/theatre or call 970-247-7089.

Virtual screening of “Trust Me,” a documentary that explores how lack of media literacy is causing physical, emotional and political probFLC Online Winter Commencelems, thru Dec. 31. Fund-raiser for An annual holiday tradition, the Festival of Trees is going virtual this year. Starting Mountain Middle School. Buy tickets ment, 3 p.m., with remarks from FLC President Tom Stritikus and commence- at noon this Fri., Dec. 4, folks can start viewing and bidding on trees as well as at tinyurl.com/yydwoxjv other holiday gifts and decorations. Proceeds benefit Community Connections, ment speaker Dugald Owen. Music which supports Southwest Colorado residents with intellectual, developmental from milepost 30. View Episode 3 of the “Actor’s Jourwww.fortlewis.edu/fall-2020-graduation and other disabilities. The Festival of Trees runs through 5 p.m., Dec. 6. To view, nal” featuring original works, essays, go to CCIFOT.givesmart.com

Virtual 17th annual Festival of Trees & Wreaths kicks off, noon, runs thru Dec. 6, featuring more than 40 locally sponsored trees and wreaths to benefit Community Connections. Online at CCIFOT.givesmart.com.

“Joy! A Traditional Family Christmas,” virtual concert presented by the Durango Choral Society, 3 p.m. Info and tickets at: durangochoralsociety.org

Monday07

6th annual Telluride Fire Festival, a threeday, mostly outdoors celebration of art and culture, Dec. 4-6, in and around Telluride. www.telluride firefestival.org

Meditation and Dharma Talk with Erin Treat, 5:30-7 p.m. online at durangodharmacenter.org/

Saturday05

Tuesday08

“Edith Can Shoot Things and Hit Them,” a virtual play presented by the FLC Theatre, Dec. 3-5.

For tickets or info, go to: www.fortlewis.edu/theatre or call 970-247-7089.

7 Rivers Farmers Market, winter farmers market, Tuesdays, 12-3 p.m. featuring local farmers, food vendors and artisans, La Plata County Fairgrounds. Masks and social distancing required.

Holiday Donation Drive to support Lisa Parker’s Puppies, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Star Liquors.

Masks and social distancing observed. Sponsored by Four Corners Broadcasting & Star Liquors. Donations also accepted at www.radiodurango.com.

Blaine Bailey, executive director of “In the Weeds,” a virtual presentation by the Rotary Club of Durango, 6 p.m. In the Weeds is a nonprofit providing support to restaurant and hospitality staff within La Plata County. For log-in info, email: mtnman16@gmail.com.

Sunday06 Free Book Giveaway, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., Durango Book Rescue, 923 Narrow Gauge Ave. durangobook rescue@gmail.com

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Wednesday09 “Five Days in Babylon,” a Zoom presentation featuring Andrew Earles, 7 p.m., hosted by the San

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poems, remembrances by various actors including Chris Sullivan from the TV series “This is Us.” Thru Dec. 14. www.durangoplayfest.org/actors-journal Friends of the San Juans 2020 Online Raffle, thru Dec. 15, friendssanjuans.betterworld.org.

Registration open for upcoming avalanche training courses, Lizard Head Pass, Dec. 12-13, and Andrews Lake, January 9-10. Hosted by Friends of the San Juans, www.thesanjuans.org.

“Dinosaur Discoveries: Ancient Fossils, New Ideas,” a traveling exhibit from the American Museum of Natural History, Powerhouse Science Center. For gallery hours, go to: www.powsci.org.

Sunnyside and Fort Lewis Mesa libraries are open, providing books, movies, music, audio books and internet, Mon.-Fri., 2:30-7 p.m. or call 970-3753816. Curbside service also available.

Durango Public Library Weekly Activity Kits available for curbside pickup every Tuesday.

Kits include supplies for one project for preschool, elementary and teen-age students. A new kit is released every Tuesday while supplies last. To request, email reference@DurangoGov.org or call 970 - 3753380. 4

AskRachel

Disney fetish, WikiFreaks and stoner fights Interesting fact: Schediaphilia is the term for sexual or romantic attraction to a cartoon character. No reason.

Dear Rachel, I sprang for Disney+ recently and I am mad as hell because it doesn’t have the obscure Disney movies I love so much. Yeah yeah, everyone loves “The Lion King.” But who remembers “Rocketman,” huh? I DO. What does Disney have to gain by not including these obscurities on their site?

Don’t they know that every movie with the Cinderella castle at the beginning has a cult following of at least one?

– Hosed by the Mouse House Dear Kicked by Mickey, You know what I remember most fondly? That moment on the movies my parents recorded onto old VCR tapes when Tinkerbell would fly out and dot the I in Disney. I’d never seen Peter Pan at that point, and something about that little pixie made me question my sexuality before I even knew I had it. The words “Wonderful World of Disney” still make me tingle in ways that no human being has accomplished. I’d trade my PornHub scrip for Disney+ if they’d just put that intro on a loop.

– Oversharing is my superpower, Rachel Dear Rachel, My friend and I have agreed to start each other’s Wikipedia pages. Neither of us are fa-

Upcoming Virtual Pro Se Free Legal Clinic, Dec. 11, 4-5 p.m. Call the Ignacio Library to sign up: 970-563-9287.

Reel Rock 15 Online Premiere, Dec. 11, featuring four new films, host Alex Honnold, giveaways, Q&As and live interactions. www.reelrocktour.com Holiday Farmers Market, Dec. 12, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds. Masks required and social distancing observed.

mous, which isn’t a Wiki requirement. We do have to be “notable,” though, and I’m wondering what I can do to make myself more Wikiworthy so I don’t endure the embarrassment of having my page rejected. (My friend is more “notable” than me, I have to say.) Any ideas?

And will this letter count as media coverage?

– Toiling in Obscurity Dear Wiki Weaky, Wait, you mean Wikipedia has *standards*? This feels awful presumptuous for a website whose content literally comes from everyday people. I used to have faith in everyday people. And I still do. Just not the 70 million or so who think America is better off with the president whose Wikipedia photo was once a penis. Reach for the moon, my friend! If you miss, you can still end up with a Wikipedia link on your tombstone.

– Wiki wiki wiki, Rachel

Dear Rachel, My wife and I get in our biggest fights when we’re high. But they also don’t last more than five minutes (even if that feels like five hours) and then we fall apart in giggles over the whole thing. Is this a healthy pressure release valve for us, or should we stop getting stoned and having tiffs?

– High Drama

4:30-5:30 p.m. This is the fourth lecture in the Apollo 14 Speaker Series. Tune into @powscicenter live Facebook stream to hear two indigenous astronomy experts, Nancy Maryboy and David Begay, co-authors of Sharing the Skies, a book on Navajo astronomy and the unique way Navajos view the cosmos.

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Low Comedy, You are a couple of weirdos with one of two realities: either you have some serious repression issues and the real rot at the root of your relationship needs to be dragged into sunlight and cut off. Or, you’re sickeningly perfect and these little mari-dramas are your way of pretending to be normal human beings with conflict like the rest of us. Here’s the test: get Disney+ while you’re stone-cold sober and see if you can agree on a movie to watch. Don’t stop until you both agree without any lick of hesitation, or one of you is dead. Whichever happens first.

– Good luck, Rachel

Crossroads Coffee is Open!

Buy delicious, local Fahrenheit Coffee for your home and holiday gifts!

Also serving espresso, baked goods, tea & more!

1099 Main Ave., under the big clock Mon.- Thurs., 7:30am-3pm and Fri., 7:30am-1pm

Mountainfilm Winter Shorts Virtual Fundraiser, 9 a.m., Dec. 26 – midnight, Dec. 27. Individual ticket: $25 / household ticket: $50. www.mountain film.org

Free On-Snow Avalanche Awareness Field Sessions presented by Friends of the San Juans, 10 a.m.-3p.m.

Dec. 12-13, Lizard Head Pass (Cross Mountain Trailhead parking lot) and Jan. 9-10, 2021, Andrew’s Lake. Pre-registration required: www.thesanjuans.org.

Deadline to submit items for “Stuff to Do” is Monday at noon.

E-mail your stuff to: calendar@durango telegraph.com

“Navajo Skies,” a free virtual event hosted by the Powerhouse, Dec. 13,

!

REAL radio, REAL people " DURANGO COMMUNITY RADIO AT FORT LEWIS COLLEGE

91.9 93.9

KDUR.ORG

telegraph

Dec. 3, 2020 n 13

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): An anonymous blogger on Tumblr writes the following: “What I’d really like is for someone to objectively watch me for a week and then sit down with me for a few hours and explain to me what I am like and how I look to others and what my personality is in detail and how I need to improve. Where do I sign up for that?” I can assure you that the person who composed this message is not an Aries. More than any other sign of the zodiac, you Rams want to be yourself, to inhabit your experience purely and completely – not see yourself from the perspective of outside observers. Now is a good time to emphasize this specialty.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Humans like to be scared,” author Cathy Bell declares. “We love the wicked witch’s cackle, the wolf’s hot breath, and the old lady who eats children, because sometimes, when the scary is over, all we remember is the magic.” I suppose that what she says is a tiny bit true. But there are also many ways to access the magic that don’t require encounters with dread. And that’s exactly what I predict for you in the coming weeks, Taurus: marvelous experiences – including catharses, epiphanies and breakthroughs – that are neither spurred by fear nor infused with it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1994, “The Lion King” told the story of the difficult journey made by a young lion as he struggled to claim his destiny as rightful king. A remake of the film appeared in 2019. During the intervening 25 years, the number of real lions living in nature declined dramatically.

There are now just 20,000. Why am I telling you such bad news? I hope to inspire you to make 2021 a year when you will resist trends like this. Your assignment is to nurture and foster wildness in every way that’s meaningful for you – whether that means helping to preserve habitats of animals in danger of extinction or feeding and championing the wildness inside you and those you care about. Get started!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Is there anyone whose forgiveness you would like to have? Is there anyone to whom you should make atonement? Now is a favorable phase to initiate such actions. In a related subject, would you benefit from forgiving a certain person whom you feel wronged you?

Might there be healing for you in asking that person to make amends? The coming weeks will provide the best opportunity you have had in a long time to seek these changes.

14 n Dec. 3, 2020

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Scientists know that the Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing down – but at the very slow rate of two milliseconds every 100 years. What that means is that 200 million years from now, one day will last 25 hours. Think of how much more we humans will be able to get done with an extra hour every day! I suspect you may get a preview of this effect in the coming weeks, Leo. You’ll be extra efficient. You’ll be focused and intense in a relaxing way.

Not only that: You will also be extra appreciative of the monumental privilege of being alive. As a result, you will seem to have more of the precious luxury of time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Adventurer Tim Peck says there are three kinds of fun.

The first is pure pleasure, enjoyed in full as it’s happening. The second kind of fun feels challenging when it’s under way, but interesting and meaningful in retrospect.

Examples are giving birth to a baby or taking an arduous hike uphill through deep snow. The third variety is no fun at all. It’s irksome while you’re doing it, and equally disagreeable as you think about it later. Now I’ll propose a fourth type of fun, which I suspect you’ll specialize in during the coming weeks. It’s rather boring or tedious or nondescript while it’s going on, but in retrospect you are very glad you did it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “I made the wrong mistakes,” Libran composer and jazz pianist Thelonious Monk said.

He had just completed an improvisatory performance he wasn’t satisfied with. On countless other occasions, however, he made the right mistakes. The unexpected notes and tempo shifts he tried often resulted in music that pleased him. I hope that in the coming weeks you make a clear demarcation between wrong mistakes and right mistakes, dear Libra.

The latter could help bring about just the transformations you need.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Home is not where you were born,” Naguib Mahfouz writes.

“Home is where all your attempts to escape cease.” I propose we make that one of your mottoes for the next 12 months, Scorpio. According to my astrological analysis, you will receive all the inspiration and support you need as you strive to be at peace with exactly who you are. You’ll feel an ever-diminishing urge to wish you were doing something else besides what you’re actually doing. You’ll be less and less tempted to believe your destiny lies elsewhere, with different companions and different adventures. To your growing satisfaction, you will refrain from trying to flee from the gifts that have been given you, and you will instead accept the gifts just as they are. And it all starts now.

telegraph

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): “Pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked,” Sagittarian author Jane Austen observed.

She wrote this confession in a letter to her niece, Fanny, whose boyfriend thought that the women characters in Jane’s novels were too naughty. In the coming weeks, I encourage you Sagittarians to regard pictures of perfection with a similar disdain. To accomplish all the brisk inovations you have a mandate to generate, you must cultivate a deep respect for the messiness of creativity; you must understand that your dynamic imagination needs room to experiment with possibilities that may at first appear disorderly. For inspiration, keep in mind this quote from Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn novelist Anne Brontë (1820-49) said, “Smiles and tears are so alike with me, they are neither of them confined to any particular feelings: I often cry when I am happy, and smile when I am sad.” I suspect you could have experiences like hers in the coming weeks. I bet you’ll feel a welter of unique and unfamiliar emotions. Some of them may seem paradoxical or mysterious, although I think they’ll all be interesting and catalytic. I suggest you welcome them and allow them to teach you new secrets about your deep self and the mysterious nature of your life.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian philosopher Simone Weil formulated resolutions so as to avoid undermining herself. First, she vowed she would only deal with difficulties that actually confronted her, not far-off or hypothetical problems. Second, she would allow herself to feel only those feelings that were needed to inspire her and make her take effective action. All other feelings were to be shed, including imaginary feelings – that is, those not rooted in any real, objective situation.

Third, she vowed, she would “never react to evil in such a way as to augment it.”

Dear Aquarius, I think all of these resolutions would be very useful for you to adopt in the coming weeks.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In June 2019, the young Piscean singer Justin Bieber addressed a tweet to 56-year-old actor Tom Cruise, challenging him to a mixed martial arts cage fight. “If you don’t take this fight,” said Bieber, “you will never live it down.” Days later, Bieber retracted his dare, confessing that Cruise “would probably whoop my ass in a fight.”

If Bieber had waited until December 2020 to make his proposal, he might have had more confidence to follow through – and he might have been better able to whoop Cruise’s ass. You Pisceans are currently at the peak of your power and prowess.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon: 9ish - 5ish Tues: 9ish - 5ish Wed: 9ish - 3ish Thurs: On delivery Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements Be a Part of History at Manna Garden Manna is launching a Brick Campaign to expand the Manna Garden facilities and to celebrate the recent merger with The Garden Project of SW Colorado. Purchase a personalized brick and make your lifetime impression in the Manna Garden! A perfect gift for the holidays, tax-deductible, and guaranteed to change lives by providing educational opportunities. Three sizes: 4”x8”, 8”x8”, 12”x12” To order, go to: www.mannasoupkitchen.org/garden-ex pansion-project/ For more info, contact Kyler Grandkoski: garden @mannasoup kitchen.com, 970-385-5095, ext 8

Classes/Workshops 1-Hour Virtual Workshop “Finding Balance in 2021: Reconnect with what is important in your life” on 1/16/21. Go to CrystalRobertsonCoach ing.com for more information and Crystal RobertsonCoaching@gmail.com to register.

Lost/Found Watch Found Watch found at Miller Middle School track-contact to identify-970-749-9903

Wanted Wanted Barnwood, Corrugated Metal Will pay $. Tom 970-382-9896 Looking for a 500 - 1000 Sq. Ft. Art Studio Space Windows that open and a private bathroom. Please text: 970-946-1992.

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

Services

ForSale

Feeling Stuck or Overwhelmed?

Seeking more out of your life or career?

Ready to write your next chapter? Reach out at CrystalRobertsonCoaching@gmail. com to schedule a complementary 30min sample coaching session or go to crystalrobertsoncoaching.com for more information.

Reruns Home Furnishings Make things cozy this holiday season!

Beautiful Asian style chest. Bar stools, chairs. Gorgeous, comfy Crate and Barrel chair. Mexican style cabinets, console tables. Patio sets for al fresco dining. Pyrex dishes, bowls and casseroles. Lots of holiday décor and gift ideas in both stores.

572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

GOT COVID? Biofeedback Therapy has been proven to provide relief from the symptoms of Covid-19. To speed your recovery Call Mitch at Durango BioFeedback (970) 7595015. Safe, Remote, and Effective.

Tutoring All subjects, grades 5th – 9th. Classroom and homework support, masks will be worn at all times. 3:30-5:30 p.m., Mon. – Thurs., Crossroads Building, 11th & Main. For info, call Jessie Hamilton, 970903-9051.

CommunityService Volunteers needed for SJMA's Christmas tree lot fund-raiser thru Dec. 20. To sign up, go to www.sjma.org.

HaikuMovieReview ‘Hunt for the Wilderpeople’

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

How could I not love this fun, majestical quest chock-full of haikus?

– Lainie Maxson

NewspaperOrigami

COVID Got You Down?

Got some bad habits? Low confidence?

Take charge of your life with Susan Urban's Transcendental Hypnosis. Now offering phone and limited in-office sessions in downtown Durango. Free phone consultation. 970-247-9617.

RSE Handyman Service Home repair. Yard work. Odd jobs.

970-903-0449.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494 Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192.

Marketing Small Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Email jnderge@ gmail.com

BodyWork massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 2020.

Couples, cupping, local CBD. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984

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A gift box Dec. 3 2020 n 15

Colorado Gives Day December 8, 2020 • swcogives.org Support causes you care about and keep your dollars local. Visit swcogives.org to contribute to 85+ organizations that serve children, the arts, animals, environment, food security, and more.

SWCO Gives is spearheaded by the Community Foundation serving SW Colorado

16 n Dec. 3, 2020

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