The Durango Telegraph, April 4, 2024

Learning from avis requires knowing our blind spots April

Pastoral lament

Looming water cuts could change local landscapes in side Mile in their boots

Dust off the gear, the Valkyrie is landing

*According to a very unscientific and impromptu office poll

Learning from avalanches requires us to look at them inside – and out by Molly Absolon / Writers on the Range

10

Let the games begin Valkyrie Multisport Relay Race descends on Durango for second year by Missy Votel

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel missy@durangotelegraph.com

RegularOccurrences

Ear to the ground:

“You look like Jeffrey Dahmer.”

– Maybe the aviator-style sunglasses look isn’t for everyone

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, tacky singletrack or mon-

Sometimes writing one’s own book blurb can be a writer’s hardest job by Zach Hively 8 Altered

Who turned out the lights?

On the cover

“Estuary,” an acrylic painting by local artist Jenn Rawlings, will be on display in the Smiley Building, Room 27, during the First Friday Art Crawl this Fri., April 5. Several other artists in the Smiley Building’s Art Collective, and throughout Durango, will also be participating in the monthly event. For more info., go to: local-first.org/ first-friday/

Durango may be out of the path of totality for next Monday’s solar eclipse –we’ll see about a 65% of the sun obscured, peaking at 12:32 p.m. – but that isn’t stopping the inaugural “Durango Dark Sky Celebration” next week.

Held in conjunction with International Dark Sky Week, the event takes place from 6-8:30 p.m., Fri., April 12, at The Powerhouse and promises to be an “enchanting evening” that will “illuminate” the importance of preserving our night skies.

Sponsored by Visit Durango, in partnership with The Powerhouse, the familyfriendly event also kicks off the Powerhouse’s new exhibit, “Sun, Earth, Universe.” Perhaps most importantly, the event highlights Durango’s years-long effort toward achieving dark sky certification.

In 2023, Visit Durango was one of five recipients throughout the state to receive a grant from the Colorado Dark Sky Certification Mentor Program, which is administered by the Colorado Tourism Office and the International Dark-Sky Association. (Bayfield was named as a 2024 grant recipient.) The goal of the program is to help tourism offices across the state reach International Dark Sky Place certification.

To that end, the Durango’s Dark Sky celebration will feature presentations from The Powerhouse, Visit Durango and Dark Sky Colorado in order to share the virtues of dark sky conservation and how people can reduce light pollution.

“Durango's Dark Sky Celebration is more than an event; it's a commitment to safeguarding our natural night environment for generations to come,” Visit Durango’s Weylin Ryan said.

The Colorado Dark Sky program was made possible through a bill passed by the State Legislature in 2022. "Thanks to a shared love of the outdoors, Coloradans across the state will be able to enjoy starlit skies free from light pollution," bill sponsor Rep. Julie McCluskie, D-Dillon, said at the time. "The legislation will help communities preserve ecosystems, boost sustainable tourism and protect our beautiful night skies."

ster powder days. We are wholly independently owned and operated by the Durango Telegraph LLC and dis-

tributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

Colorado is home to 15 International Dark-Sky communities or parks, including Norwood, Naturita, Ridgway, Crestone, Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park, Mesa Verde National Park and Jackson Lake State Park, in Mancos.

To learn more about Durango’s Dark Sky Initiative visit: engage.durango.org

LaVidaLocal

Playing bookie

Writing a book is supposed to be a crowning achievement in a writer’s life. One must spend years, sometimes entire months, in deep contemplation, selfreflection and total isolation in order to tease out the meaningful contributions to one’s life that brought one to the brink of a lifetime of royalty checks. Then, one must actually write the book.

But the challenge of writing a book is mere marshmallow fluff compared to crafting the perfect book announcement.

The Book Announcement is where the skillful author introduces the Unifying Themes and Greater Purposes that Oprah will later discuss with him as part of her eventual presidential campaign tour. Within these few words, the author draws out key concepts by using an illustrative metaphor or other spare literary device, so that future book groups can truncate their discussions and go straight to drinking wine.

The trick for the author, of course, is to decide which illustrative metaphor he’s going to use, because he already put most of his good stories inside the book and, really, does the world need one more story about me evading encounters with bears?

Of course it does! But I don’t want to blow my bearwad just yet. So instead, I’m writing the Book Announcement about a Life Decision that really fails to put those bear encounters in perspective.

It begins, as many stories do, with the words “If my dad can ride his bike over those mountains, then it can’t be THAT hard.”

(puh-leeze! I was a veteran sitter) and leaving the house – on my bike! – for training rides. And, though it pains me to admit it, I proved you CAN forget how to ride a bicycle.

But I had an entry fee and paternal pride on the line. I had to accomplish this feat to disprove all the people who say millennials are lazy, worthless bums destroying America, even though I’m not sure what a millennial is or if I am one. Besides, the experience might provide fodder for a future Book Announcement. So by gum, I rode my bike, even though I was not a genetically endowed cyclist with sponsored clothing. I rode it even though my blood was not made of energy gel. I rode it even though it meant consuming protein bars with experimental seasonal flavors like “gingerbread” and “adventure.”

I had just moved to Durango to live off my student loans. You would not recognize me then. You also would not recognize me now, unless we have met. But I was a different person before saddling up for the Iron Horse 11 years ago. I had long been a dedicated indoorsman. As activities go, a weekly Uno night was more my cup of tea. Hell, cups of tea were my cup of tea.

I had mounted a bicycle exactly twice since I was 8 and put the bike in actual motion only one of those times. But my dear father had participated in the Iron Horse for years, despite being, biologically speaking, old. If Pops could do it, so could I. I called him and shared my resolution. He said, “You’re still young, dude. I think if you really put your mind to it, you can manage it. Definitely. Absolutely. No, really.”

He tried to warn me about the little things, like sitting in the saddle for hours

Thumbin’It

Help for the hot spot: the Biden administration released methane rules this week to reduce venting and flaring at gas wells, which not only waste billions of cubic feet of natural gas every year, but also releases pollutants that harm nearby communities.

The Regional Housing Alliance received nearly $1 million to create a revolving low-interest loan fund to help local workforce housing projects move forward.

You may not know this, but Buckley Park is not owned by the City of Durango – yet. The City, which leases the park from School District 9-R, recently reached an agreement to buy the property, ensuring locals can noodle neck and festivate for years to come.

As I kept riding, I earned a fresh perspective on my new home from the seat of my thickening bum calluses. Bicycling isn’t really about the chain grease or the spaceage food. It’s about communing with our wider environment. It’s about making sure I beat Pops across the finish line. And it’s about finalizing my growth as a human being by the time I was 27 years old.

I wrote my first piece for the Telegraph commemorating my triumph. I learned that the Telegraph and other newspapers need to fill space alongside the ads, so I branched out from bicycling to tackle the defining topics of our day: gender and masculinity; family holidays; other people’s dogs; finding friendship as a hermit who dislikes people; and so on and so forth.

Then someone had the bright idea to rework those adventures into a book. That someone was me. And I’d like to introduce you to my forthcoming book, now up for grabs on Kickstarter: “Call Me Zach Hively Because That Is My Name.”

For years, both of my darling readers have had to wait weeks for my next column. Now there is no more waiting. In one extended bathroom visit, you can join me as I open my home to friends, apply to be a festival queen and travel to St. Louis so you don’t have to. Each of these adventures enhanced me, like a radioactive spider bite. But even conquering mountains on a bicycle that weighs less than a hedonist’s guilt did not prepare me for writing this Book Announcement.

No, that took actually sitting down (thanks, bicycle training!) and writing it. I’m happy that I could reward your time and, ideally, the full price you are about to pay with a guiding light by which to understand this book’s Unifying Themes and Greater Purposes. If you figure out what that is, please let me know.

– Zach Hively

SignoftheDownfall:

The “petdemic” continues, with nearly 700,000 dogs and cats euthanized last year, according to the nonprofit Shelter Animals Count – a 15% increase over 2022. The Atlanta-based nonprofit also reported that in 2023, there were 177,000 more animals in U.S. shelters compared to 2022.

Move over Gideon, Trump is now selling bibles to offset his legal debts stemming from hush payments to a porn star and defaming sexual assault victims, to name a few. Profiting off the Holy Bible ... WWJD?

Yes, apparently critical thinking is dead –at least judging by the April Fool’s day ruses people fell for on social media. (Although we still stand by the reports of Bigfoot sightings in the San Juans.)

You can judge a book by its cover

In 1879, Arsene Houssaye wrote a book about death, and a French doctor named Ludovic Bouland loved it so much that he bound a copy in human skin stolen from a female cadaver. Harvard alumni and famous cowboy hat maker John B. Stetson ended up with the book, and his widow donated it to Harvard’s library in 1954. Seventy years later (last week), Harvard decided it wasn’t a good idea to have books made from people on their shelves, so they removed it and apologized. Harvard didn’t disclose what happened to the remains, but maybe we should take a closer look at those cowboy hats.

WritersontheRange

A mile in their boots

Understanding avalanches requires examining own, others’ blind spots

by Molly Absolon

There’s a fine line between learning from the mistakes of others and shaming people for their ignorance. Twelve people have died in avalanches in the United States this winter, including an expert skier in Oregon who was also an avalanche forecaster. He was killed in early March despite deploying an airbag that kept him from being buried. On average, 27 people die in avalanches in the United States each year.

Three-hundred and fifty avalanches have been reported by the Bridger-Teton Avalanche Center since last September, with four resulting in fatalities.

In Colorado, 19 people have been caught in 17 avalanches since March 21, with three people partially buried and one person fully buried, according to the Colorado Avalanche Information Center. Between March 27-28 alone, eight people were caught in seven avalanches in Colorado. The CAIC has recorded more than 5,000 avalanches so far this season, with 102 people caught, 19 people caught and two people killed.

Many of these incidents were triggered by humans, leading communities to try to make sense of the circumstances and decision-making that led to these accidents.

Sometimes that debate gets heated.

I’ve been part of these conversations, writing always about how unpredictable avalanches are.

Feedback can get negative, with some people accusing me of shaming the victims. Others say I don’t go far enough in calling people out for putting themselves and others at risk with their behavior.

Discussion also takes place on social media, where anonymity seems to increase the vitriol of comments. I bet these kinds of conversations take place in every mountain town where avalanches are a winter hazard.

A skier was caught in an avalanche in the Richmond Basin, near Ouray on March 27, but was able to ski out. On average, 27 people die in avalanches in the United States each year./ Courtesy of CAIC

Analyzing accidents in the outdoors has a long tradition. The American Alpine Club published the first edition of its annual publication, “Accidents in North American Climbing” (now “Accidents in North American Mountaineering”), in 1948. The goal then –and now – was to share lessons to help us avoid making the same mistakes others have made. The question is, does this kind of analysis really help?

Dale Atkins, a longtime avalanche professional in Colorado, questioned the efficacy of the practice during a talk at an avalanche workshop in Jackson, Wyo., a few years ago.

He said it was too easy for us to examine an

incident with hindsight and conclude that we would never make the same mistakes. Knowing the outcome prejudices our opinions.

Instead, Atkins encouraged people to consider what made the people involved in an accident think they were making a good decision. What personal blind spots might have affected their thinking process?

I know my personal blind spots. I am easily drawn in by untracked powder and my fear of missing out. Other classic vulnerabilities include ego, the sense of being invincible, competitiveness, time pressure or a commitment to a goal.

All of us are driven by something that colors our perceptions and decisions – something that in hindsight can look really stupid.

Why did two seasoned skiers I know get caught by an avalanche while digging a pit to analyze the risk that day? On the surface, you might conclude these individuals were simply not thinking or were being reckless, when in fact there may have been all sorts of factors contributing to their decision-making. It’s understanding those outside factors that can help us learn.

But here’s the dark side: We need to remember that behind the clinical, emotionless words found in an avalanche report there are real people. People who may be facing a long recovery from injuries or who may never be coming home again.

Their partners and the rescuers on the scene may be traumatized. Families and friends are grieving. Analyzing their story is not just an abstract examination of a chain of events. It’s an examination of lives that were forever changed during a beautiful day on the snow that turned into a tragedy.

I think we all benefit when we conduct an avalanche analysis with empathy and compassion. The average number of avalanche deaths per year in the United States has stayed the same for more than a decade, despite the growing number of winter backcountry travelers – and that means something is working.

Experts believe education is helping stabilize that number, and education means analyzing how an avalanche broke loose to injure or kill people.

Molly Absolon is a contributor to Writers on the Range, writersontherange.org, an independent nonprofit dedicated to spurring lively conversation about the West. She writes about the outdoors from her home in Victor, Idaho. ■

Absolon

Thank you, Jessica Matlock

Jessica Matlock recently resigned from her position as CEO of La Plata Electric Association. During the turbulent past five years, she steered LPEA, our electric co-op, into a new direction seeking independence from Tri-State. Jessica is a skilled manager, and she knows the intricacies of the new energy economy, all of which she shared with LPEA staff and the board creating effective teamwork.

Over the past 15 years, the Sustainability Alliance of SW Colorado (SASCO) and the San Juan Citizens Alliance (SJCA) supported by many activists have encouraged and campaigned for our electric co-op to embrace a future dependent on renewable energy sources away from TriState’s heavy reliance on coal. By leaving Tri-State, LPEA would also be leaving behind an onerous 50-year contract limiting our co-op to 5% local generation.

LPEA’s board members gave Jessica Matlock the opportunity to establish a new direction to implement our

community’s desires for an environmentally and financially sound future, and it is now up to the board to exit Tri-State. Leaving Tri-State will not only benefit environmental concerns but also leaves the majority of $69 million in our local economy year after year instead of sending it to Tri-State’s Front Range offices.

Again, sincere thanks to Jessica Matlock for her leadership and best wishes for her future.

–Werner Heiber, Durango

EVs a nonstarter in rural U.S.

They’re coming for your truck. And your SUV and your car. The WSJ reported last week that by 2032, the government will restrict new gasolinepowered vehicle sales to 29% of all new vehicle sales.

Lucid Group lost $145,824 per EV sale last year. Ford only lost $64,731 per EV sale; I suppose they plan on making it up in volume. Automobile manufacturers make their profits from selling gasoline-powered vehicles, which means in eight years, the few new

gasoline-powered vehicles available will necessarily come with higher prices and, I predict, higher demand, which will drive prices through the stratosphere.

In April 2023, the WSJ reported that if we replace all 250 million gasoline-

some $12.5 trillion (my estimate), we would reduce global greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions by a whopping 0.18%, meaning that 99.82% of all global GHG emissions will continue.

I challenge Gov. Jared Polis to drive to Cortez in a gasoline-powered SUV, then return to Denver in his choice of EVs … in the dead of winter, then report back! Electric vehicles are a non-starter in rural America.  I propose we eliminate the Department of Energy (annual savings: $129 billion), and that Congress severely rein in EV mandates from the EPA.

The masterminds who are plotting to replace our baseline, always-there electricity, with intermittent, not always- there juice, while simultaneously adding 50% demand to the grid via EV charging, are the brightest among us. They all went to the right schools. We are told to trust them, yet I doubt most of them could tell you where a package of hamburger comes from. And know this, they are coming for your truck, and for our way of life. Somebody needs to stop them!

– Russ Andrews, Carbondale, Republican candidate for Colorado CD-3

Yeas and nays for state budget

We must be thoughtful.

Colorado’s budget is constitutionally required to be balanced, so last week, the House debated exactly how to do that. It’s never easy.

The budget is called the “Long Bill,” because it is indeed long – 195 pages.

The six members of the Joint Budget Committee (JBC) – four Democrats, two Republicans; three from the House and three from the Senate – reflect the current balance of the Legislature. They spend five months listening to budget requests from state departments, balancing those requests with the

quarterly financial predictions, then creating a budget based on conservative expectations of income and the needs of the state.

The JBC presents “orbital” bills to the Legislature, companion measures accompanying the Long Bill, aligning it to state law. House members discuss and vote on them, then always offer amendments; this year we offered about 86. Technically, we probably shouldn’t offer to amend something the JBC has been working so hard on, but all of us try to get one last request in.

I offered two: one to give our rural district attorneys more pay, because they are getting harder and harder to find and keep. The other requests money be transferred from the State Education Fund to the Public School Capital Construction Assistance Fund to subsidize the BEST Program, which helps schools with capital needs. That is especially needed in rural Colorado

Both failed, for now, but we hope to bring them back in the Senate after the Long Bill passes the House. Whatever happens, JBC members will have to reconcile the $11 million worth of amendments with the budget they have already balanced. House members were asked not to take any money out of the General Fund and to specifically identify where the money is to finance our amendment.

We do not follow rules well, it appears.

I voted “no” to move $2 million from the General Fund into the School Security Disbursement Fund, which helps schools keep kids safe by offering a selection of offerings like cameras, scanners and detection systems.

On X (Twitter), I was accused of not wanting our students to be safe, which is ridiculous. We just passed a bill in the Education Committee giving $2.7 million to that same fund; it is waiting in Appropriations. Spending an additional $2 million now depletes our entire legislative budget.

I voted “yes” to keep the JBC recommendation to move money to equalize mill levy override funding for Charter School Institute students. This payment is based on an agreement made in 2017. I received a lot of heat for supporting public charter schools over traditional public schools. What I really support is keeping promises.

I voted “no” on several amendments taking money from funds where they were needed. Some suggested closing down most of the governor’s office, including the communications branch. That doesn’t do much for our transparency needs. Others took from the Attorney General’s office because they hadn’t spent it yet. I don’t want to punish effective money management.

One amendment took money from the Public Health Disease Control fund to pay for one new school bus in one district. Several wanted money from the Severance Fund, which helps mitigate the impact of oil and gas activity and funds programs supporting Colorado Parks and Wildlife, water and other natural resource areas. This would devastate parts of rural Colorado.

Thoughtfully balancing the budget making all 100 legislators happy is monumental. Stay tuned for the Senate battle.

–Rep. Barbara McLachlan, D-Durango

The pastoral lament

Water cuts could forever alter the irrigated landscapes we have grown to love

by Jonathan Thompson

Last week, on my way from Durango to southeastern Utah to get my sagebrush and slickrock fix, I drove through one of my favorite places anywhere: McElmo Canyon. The evening light, filtered through a series of spring squalls moving across the Great Sage Plain, lent a warm glow to the leafless cottonwoods and the red spikes of willow poking out of winter-dry cattails. The ditchcots – the feral apricot trees that cling to the edges of irrigation canals – were in full bloom. The beige fields were beginning to turn green. And newborn calves bounded clumsily among their slow-moving elders.  I may have screamed something about how beautiful it all was out the open window of my moving car. Yet I was also struck with a sense of melancholy, for I knew that the scene would not last, and that the McElmo Canyon landscape I so cherish will vanish, or at least change radically, in the not-sodistant future.

It’s not climate change that threatens the place – at least not directly. It’s the fact that so much of what is appealing about McElmo Canyon is essentially artificial. It was made possible by large-scale, inefficient irrigation, by diverting water from the Dolores River and transplanting it into laterals and ditches that flood alfalfa and hay fields – swatches of emerald green that juxtapose delightfully against sandstone cliffs in the heat of summer. Leaky ditches create mini-riparian zones (and ditchcot groves), bountiful with feral asparagus in the spring, where once there were only dryland shrubs. Flood-irrigation runoff pools into inadvertent wetlands that nurture cottonwoods and cattails, milkweed, willows and boxelders.

This phenomenon isn’t unique. It’s repeated in valleys all over the West, where a stark dividing line between irrigated and non-irrigated lands is often evident. The settler-colonial project to harness and tame the West’s rivers not only allowed crops and cities to grow in places they couldn’t before, but it also

altered much of the landscape so thoroughly that many of us can’t imagine what these valleys looked like before industrial-scale irrigation.

“It’s part of our aesthetic as Westerners,” Brian Richter, a water sustainability expert and lead author of a new accounting of the Colorado River’s waters, said.

Richter’s tabulation confirmed what we already knew: The Colorado River system is overtaxed, and it’s shrinking. Since the largest user is agricultural irrigation, that’s whence the biggest cuts must come. Those cuts will affect McElmo Canyon and landscapes like it.

Richter and his colleagues published their first Western water accounting in 2020 under the telling title: “Water Scarcity and Fish Imperilment Driven by

Beef Production.” This spring, Richter and his team released an update of sorts, focusing on the Colorado River. It’s the first-ever complete accounting of the system, encompassing  all the consumptive uses of the Colorado, including reservoir evaporation and riparian and wetland evapotranspiration, as well as out-of-basin exports to places like Denver, and water use in Mexico.

The findings include:

• Irrigated agriculture is by far the dominant consumer of Colorado River water, accounting for 52% of overall consumption (which includes reservoir evaporation and riparian and wetland evapotranspiration) and 74% of direct human consumption.

• Cattle-feed crops (alfalfa and other hay) consume

McElmo Canyon near Cortez is filled with large-scale, inefficient irrigation systems fed by the nearby Dolores River. Water in the area is mostly used for agriculture and cattle. /Photo by Jonathan Thompson

more Colorado River water than any other crop category, accounting for 32% of all water from the basin; 46% of direct water consumption; and 62% of all agricultural water consumed.

• Cattle-feed crops consume 90% of all the agricultural irrigation water in the Upper Basin – three times more than is consumed by municipal, commercial and industrial uses combined.

• 19% of the water supports the natural environment through riparian and wetland vegetation evapotranspiration along river courses.

The Colorado River’s users collectively consume far more water than exists in the system, and if demand is not balanced with supply, we face all kinds of woe. Most folks probably would like to see desert cities – and ostentatiously profligate water-users, such as golf courses, lawns and swimming pools –bear the burden of those cuts. After all, who values golf over food production?

But as the Land Desk has pointed out numerous times: The math doesn’t support this solution. The cities and golf courses and even the energy industry, thirsty as they may be, don’t use enough water to make the necessary cuts. The biggest cuts are going to have to come from the biggest users: agriculture, specifically hay, alfalfa and forage for cows.

“The only dial we have to work with is irrigated farming,” Richter said.

The solution seems straightforward: Cut off the irrigation to those vast swaths of emerald green in the southern California and Arizona deserts (and stop eating beef and cheese). Of course, it’s also severe and would have major economic and cultural ramifications. A friendlier solution is to keep irrigating, but in a more efficient way: Pipe irrigation laterals and canals or line them so they stop leaking; end flood-irrigation to reduce waste (and irrigation runoff); and plant less water-intensive crops.

But any of these solutions would ripple beyond the canals and fields and into the irrigation-created landscapes many of us have grown to love. McElmo Creek likely would run only after snowmelt and monsoon storms, the leaky ditch-created wetlands would fade away, and many of the willows, cattails, cottonwoods and ditchcots would perish. A new, more “natural” landscape would later emerge, but the transition period would be choked with invasive weeds and desiccated riparian vegetation.

It’s more than just the look or feel of the land and vegetation that would be affected when less or no water is delivered to the alfalfa and hay fields of the West. Ecosystems would feel the impacts

as well. A program paying farmers to stop irrigating some fields in California’s Imperial Valley, for example, has been delayed because it could adversely affect endangered pupfish that have taken up residence in irrigation drains.

This is not an exhortation to continue dumping water on alfalfa fields to preserve the ecosystems and aesthetic that have risen up alongside them. It is

merely a lament. To save the West’s streams and rivers, sacrifices must be made. That they are necessary doesn’t make them any less heartbreaking. ■

The Land Desk is a newsletter from Jonathan P. Thompson, author of “River of Lost Souls,” “Behind the Slickrock Curtain” and “Sagebrush Empire.” To subscribe, go to: www.landdesk.org

A view of the snow-capped Ute Mountains and some “ditchcots,” which grow along the irrigation canals, in McElmo Canyon./Photo by Jonathan Thompson

LocalGoingsOn

Ready to take flight

Valkyrie Multisport Relay Race descends on Durango for second year

by Missy Votel

It’s spring in Durango, which means it’s time to dust off the mountain bike. And road bike. And running shoes (trail and road); kayak; SUP; road bike; and wetsuit. That’s because, after a long, muddy winter, we want to feel the sun on our vitamin D-deficient, ghostly skin and the wind through our helmets. And also because the second annual Valkyrie Multisport Relay race is but a few short months away: Sat., Sept. 14, to be exact. Why am I telling you this now, especially in a town that prides itself on being oh-so off the back when it comes to planning its outdoor extracurriculars? Well, for starters, the earlier you sign your team up, the cheaper the registration cost. And secondly, if you start training now, maybe, just maybe, you can win the coveted Valkyrie trophy. Which is sort of like the Stanley Cup of Durango outdoor enthusiasts, but a lot less shiny, and you probably can’t drink champagne out of it. But most importantly, do you really want to miss out and have to listen to all your coworkers and friends blab on about how much fun they had? Without you? After all, FOMO is a powerful motivator, something race organizer Erin Hughes is counting on.

“We had 35 teams last year and about 220 people,” Hughes said of the race’s inaugural event. “Everyone who did it last year said, ‘We had so much fun, we’re doing it again, and we’re bringing our friends.’”

There were even a few –we’ll just go ahead and say it, freaks of nature – last year who did the entire race solo, Hughes said.

And what exactly is it that people are signing up for? Well, depends on your appetite for adventure, and yes, suffering. The Valkyrie, which features seven legs – road running, trail running, mountain biking, stand-up paddle boarding, open water swimming, road cycling and paddling – comes in two sizes: the regular team relay (up to nine people); and individual (sprint or regular distance.) Folks can also sign up a la carte, only paying for the legs they wish to race.

“My husband and I did it as a two-person team,” said Hughes. “It was a big day.”

Hughes, a nurse and mother of four, insists she does all the aforementioned activities, but “not well.” But in the next breath, she also rattled off a long list of races she’s done, which included some Xterras and the words “Iron Man,” so we’re not really sure if we believe her. Nevertheless, she said it’s always been her dream to host a multisport relay race in her hometown of 20 years.

She said the seed was officially planted when her brother, Dan Merkley, and friend, Shawn Snow, organized a similar race in Heber City, Utah, a town outside

Park City where the family grew up.

“I told him, ‘That is my race! It needs to come to Durango!’” she recalled. “It’s such a quintessential Durango race.”

And in case you’re not up on your Norse mythology, the valkyries were a sort of winged female angel (beautiful, too, since that is how most myths go) who would swoop up soldiers who had died valiantly on the battlefield and deliver them to Valhalla, the Norse heaven. (We are sure in this day and age, the valkyries are equal opportunity and now represent all genders.)

Hughes said the local reception to hosting the race has been amazing, with the City – particularly Community Events Administrator Ellen Babers –bending over backwards to help. CommonSpirit Mercy Hospital (formerly known as Centura) – where Hughes works as a nurse and her husband, Dave, as an ER doc – also stepped in to sponsor the event.

“We couldn’t do it without them,” said Hughes.

are a petite bit complicated. As such, “We’d love to have people sign up earlier this year,” she said.

As you can imagine, the logistics of such an event, which encompasses Horse Gulch, Lake Nighthorse, the Animas River Trail and Animas River, and Santa Rita Park

Hughes also noted that the mountain biking leg, which took place in Twin Buttes last year, will happen in Horse Gulch. However, consider this fair warning, mountain bikers will have to ride up the Lake Nighthorse road when they’re done to hand off the baton to their swimmers and SUPers. (The road climb will not be timed, so don’t get too stressed. Plus all you maniacs out there will probably enjoy it.)

Hughes said she hopes to double participation in the race this year, eventually adding a wellness fair at the Santa Rita Park start/finish – to complement the beer – and make it a huge annual community event, like Animas River Days.

“I really want people to know this is about locals – I want it to be a big local party,” she said. ■

Still confused? Don’t have a team?

Wonder what the heck an “open swim” is? Don’t worry. All these questions and more can be answered next Tues., April 9, from 6-8 p.m. when the Valkyrie hosts an informational/team finding/registration night at the Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave. For more info or to sign up, go to: www.valkyrierelay.com.

Boats line up along the Animas River for the paddling stage of last year’s Valkyrie./ Courtesy photo

Erin Hughes

Stranger things

Wife investigates huband’s murder to find a man she barely knew

by Jeffrey Mannix

Seicho Matsumoto (1909-92) is considered to have written the best Japanese mystery novels of the 20th century. He is often referred to as the Japanese Georges Simenon, referring to the great Belgian crime writer most famous for his fictional Detective Jules Maigret, selling more than 500 million copies worldwide.

Matsumoto did not produce the volume of published works of Simenon. But Matsumoto – unlike Simenon and other crime fiction luminaries of the 20th century – undergirded his narratives in a wider social context that included postwar nihilism that expanded the scope of the genre.

I have emphasized numerous times that perhaps the best literary crime fiction has and continues to come from offshore. Matsumoto put the Asian imprint on literary crime fiction, exposing corruption among police and political leaders, as well as motives of the criminals we’re used to seeing hunted, exposed and excessively punished. He wrote not just about lawbreakers but also about the society affected by lawlessness and the lazy eye of compromised authority. So why did you need to know all that about Matsumoto? Because, you will want to know about the author of the March 26 English language release of Matsumoto’s “Point Zero,” more than adequately translated by Louise Heal Kawai and published by Britain’s esteemed Bitter Lemon Press. “Point Zero” was published in Japan in 1959 under the title “Ten to Sen.” It cemented Matsumoto’s reputation for introducing literary crime fiction to Japan and elevated him as Japan’s best-selling and highest-earning author.

wife who bends norms while conforming to tradition.

Teiko Itane is a 26-year-old woman who is appreciated as attractive by her family and friends. After several unremarkable romances, she develops a calloused indifference toward marriage, despite the fading tradition of encouraging population growth.

Respect is central to the Japanese culture, even while Western fashion, music and social media compete side by side with traditional Japanese fashions and hierarchic customs. Kenichi wears western suits and accessories, while Teiko, by choice, lives in two worlds, dressed nearly as often in traditional Japanese kimonos as in Western fashions, as they call them in Japan.  Kenichi and Teiko marry, board a train for a scenic destination bundled as a honeymoon and, over the next few days, become intimate strangers. Kenichi is aloof and preoccupied but accommodating. Teiko is accommodating in return but increasingly confused about what this man, her husband, is feeling or what he is thinking during their intimacies, delivered rougher and more domineering each time.

Teiko receives a marriage proposal from Kenichi Uhara, arranged by a marriage broker who was a friend of Teiko’s late father.

“Point Zero” is peopled with few characters, so confusion doesn’t set in as with many foreign language novels that seem to parade a dozen or more characters who are easily forgotten or confused. Matsumoto’s only actors are marquee players we follow through a brokered marriage and the peculiar disappearance of the bridegroom days after an awkward honeymoon. The death is investigated by an irascible new

Kenichi is 10 years older than Teiko. He is a respected manager at the satellite office of a prestigious Tokyo advertising agency in the woebegone town of Kanazawa City, a lengthy train ride from Tokyo. But Kenichi punctually spent 10 days a month at the Tokyo office and maintained an apartment there. His promise accompanying his marriage proposal to Teiko is that he will transfer to the home office in Tokyo after three months of training his replacement, Yoshio Honda.

There’s a creep factor that comes with Kenichi, as easily disturbing to Teiko as to us. But in Japanese society, perhaps all new husbands depreciate the value of their wives the moment after marriage.

Back in Tokyo, Kenichi prepares immediately to board a train to Kanazawa to train his replacement. Teiko comes to the railway station obliged to bid farewell until he returns in three weeks.

This is the last time Teiko ever sees her husband.

The only thing more you need to know – and there’s much more to come – is that after WWII, Kenichi was a policeman in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Force assigned to the Public Morals Division overseeing the streets where pan-pan girls cater to GIs during America’s post-war occupation.

Matsumoto is a storyteller of the first order, and “Point Zero” is a masterpiece equal to and mostly better than any crime fiction coming out of Europe and absolutely anything published in the U.S. His 2016 book, “A Quiet Place,” was reviewed in these pages, and I still think reading it is one of the reasons I left my dog outside all night.

“Point Zero” is a $17 trade paperback – spring for this one. And don’t forget to ask Maria’s Bookshop for your 15% “Murder Ink” discount. ■

Stuff to Do

Thursday04

“Get to Know the CEO:” Dave Thibodeau of Ska Brewing, 8:30 a.m., Center for Innovation, Main Mall, 835 Main Ave., Ste. 225

Live music by PJ Moon and The Swappers, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Live music by Ben Gibson, 5:30 p.m., Public House 701, 701 E. 2nd Ave.

Live music by Tim Sullivan, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Bluegrass Jam, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

“SkyWords” author reading & book signing, 6-7:30 p.m., FLC Student Union Ballroom or via Zoom

Live music by Andrew Schuhmann, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Matt Rupnow, 6-9 p.m., Durango Hot Springs, 6475 CR 203

Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1330 Camino del Rio

Drag Trivia Night, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812” FLC Theatre production, 7:30 p.m., Main Stage Theatre, FLC

Friday05

Piano music by Gary B. Walker, 10:15 a.m.-12 noon, Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave.

First Friday, around town, 4-7 p.m., presented by Local First, Durango Creative District and The ArtRoom Collective

“Planet vs. Plastic Community Art Mosaic,” 4-7 p.m., The ArtRoom Collective, Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

“Echolalia,” artwork by Jenn Rawlings, 4-8 p.m., Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 27

“Classic Americana” art opening with Dennis Ziemienski and Tony De Luz, 5-7 p.m., Blue Rain Gallery, 934 Main Ave.

Live music by Leah Orlikowski, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Live music by Jack Ellis & Larry Carver, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Ben Gibson, 5:30 p.m., Public House 701, 701 E. 2nd Ave.

Live music by Ian Lennox, 6 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

Live music by Dustin Burley, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Friday Dance! 6 p.m. West Coast swing lesson; 7 p.m. dance-of-the-month lesson; 8-10 p.m. open dancing, VFW, durangodancing.com

Duranglers Turns 40: Spring Fly Fishing Festival, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Holiday Inn & Suites, 21636 HWY 160

An Evening of Original One Act Plays, presented by Animas High School Theatre Co., 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

“Beyond the Concert Hall: Exploring the Life and Music of Antonín Dvořák,” presented by The San Juan Symphony, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave.

“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812” FLC Theatre production, 7:30 p.m., Main Stage Theatre, FLC

Moon Walker with Mom Rock & Acid Wrench, 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr.

Aria PettyOne presents Aria’s Pizza Party, 8:30-9:30 p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main Ave.

Fresh Baked Fridays: house, techno and electro, 9 p.m., Roxy’s, 639 Main Ave.

Saturday06

SW Silverados 4-H Tack and Consignment Sale, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., La Plata Co. Exhibit Hall, 2500 N. Main Ave.

Spring Craft Bazaar, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Hot Rods and Harleys, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Durango Harley-Davidson, 750 S. Camino Del Rio

Duranglers Spring Fly Fishing Festival, 12-2 p.m., Memorial Park, 2901 E. 3rd Ave.

“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812” FLC Theatre production, 2 p.m., Main Stage Theatre, FLC

International Fly Fishing Film Festival, 4 & 7:30 p.m., Doubletree Hotel, 923 Main Ave. Hosted by Five Rivers Trout Unlimited

For Love & Babes Gala, fundraiser for postpartum parent support group, 5-9 p.m., The Lightbox, 1316 Main Ave., Ste. C

Live music by Joel Racheff, 5-9 p.m., Public House 701, 701 E. 2nd Ave.

Adam Swanson plays ragtime, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by the Ben Gibson Duo, 6 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, 18044 CR 501, Vallecito

Live music by Matt Rupnow, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Union Social House 4th Anniversary Celebration, 6-10 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

An Evening of Original One Act Plays, presented by Animas High School Theatre Co., 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

The Lost Fingers with John Jorgenson perform, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC

“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812” FLC Theatre production, 7:30 p.m., Main Stage Theatre, FLC

Sunday07

Irish jam session, 12:30-3 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Durango Food Not Bombs mutual aid and potluck, 2-4 p.m., Buckley Park

Board Game Sundays, 2 p.m., Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Durango Palestine Solidarity Rally, 4 p.m., Buckley Park, 12th St. and Main Ave.

“Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812” FLC Theatre production, 5 p.m., Main Stage Theatre, FLC

Live music by Ben Gibson, 6 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by the Blue Moon Ramblers, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Monday08

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30 pm, in person at The Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E 3rd Ave, Ste 109 or online at www.durangodharmacenter.org

Tuesday09

Great Decisions International Affairs Discussion: NATO’s Future,” with Guinn Unger, 11:45 a.m.-1:45 p.m., Durango Public Library

Cowboy Tuesdays, 12 noon, Strater Hotel/Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

AskRachel

Enlightenment, avocado love and IRAs

Interesting fact: Pearl Jam had an avocado on the cover of its 2006 album. Why? As guitarist Mike McCready said, “I think we were watching the Super Bowl, and we had some guacamole or something.”

Dear Rachel,

What do you do when that one friend comes back from a few years in the Peace Corps or woofing or backpacking around the world and acts like they now have it all figured out? It’s cute, and we’ve all returned home high on vacation. But if the truth really was something attainable on a world tour, then everyone who ever did a world tour would stay enlightened instead of ultimately settling for a career and a house or whatever. But you can’t tell them this … or can you?

- Bubble Burster

Dear Party Popper,

I mean, that one friend probably does actually have it all figured out. It’s just that the world we live in doesn’t have space for people who have it all figured out. It’s why they have to live in hostels and in rented rooms above farmhouse restaurants and other Narnia-like wardrobes. The question is not how to burst your friend’s bubble. It should be, how do you shield that bubble as long as you can from the horrors of the world?

–Pop goes the weasel, Rachel

Live music by Terry Rickard, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Rotary Club of Durango presents Liza Tregillus, of the Home Share Project, 6 p.m., Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave.

Valkyrie Multisport Relay Race teaming building/finding and informational meeting, 6-8 p.m., The Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Live music by Good Times Band, 6-9 p.m., Durango Hot Springs, 6475 CR 203

Live music by Sean O’Brien, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Wednesday10

Yoga With In the Weeds, 10-11 a.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave., Ste. A

Green Business Roundtable, 12-1 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1295 Camino Del Rio

Local First Member Bash, 4:30-6 p.m., First Southwest Bank, 600 E. 2nd Ave.

Dear Rachel,

I can’t figure out the hate for avocados. Actually, it’s all love for avocados. Everyone is eating them on everything. Yet it’s still, ya know, the thing people love to hate on with Kids Today. Why is this the emblem for everything wrong with the youth?

- America’s Fruit

Dear Celebrity Produce,

Avocados are a freaking magical fruit. Not the kind that makes you toot – more like a magic spell: Avocadavo! The worst thing I can say about them is they’re more expensive than bananas. The second worst thing is that pit. No me gusta the pit. Other than that, I have no idea. Maybe it’s just intense jealousy that the fogeys in the room didn’t have ready access to this superhero of the grocery store when they were young and had it all figured out?

–The pits, Rachel

Dear Normal Person,

Dear Rachel,

I was at a distant relative’s funeral recently, and another distant relative started grilling me about my retirement planning. I’m 32! I haven’t had “just $10 a paycheck” to stash in my IRA even once in my life. How do these people think we’re saving for retirement when we’re much more worried about, oh I don’t know, eating and not getting evicted?

- 401 j/k

Art and Soul Paint and Sip benefiting the Women’s Resource Center, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Live music by Donny Johnson, 5:30-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Hideaway Ukulele Jam, 6-7:30 p.m., Smiley Building, Studio #114, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., and online via Zoom

Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra, 558 Main Ave.

“Anthropology of Space and Place in the Temples in Northern Thailand,” presented by The San Juan Basin Archaeological Society, 7 p.m., FLC Lyceum Room

The California Honeydrops perform, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr.

SALT Contemporary Dance, 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

I swear this has to be one of the biggest mixed messages. Travel while you’re young! (This is wise advice, by the way.) And also: Start saving while you’re young! (Not terrible advice, but terribly at odds with the first advice.) And also: Manage the horrible impossibility of affording necessities like avocados and rent! Oh, and also pay for school. I’m starting to think we should all give up and travel the world until we convince ourselves we don’t need anything to feel happy. Nothing, that is, but some guacamole.

Ongoing

“Emergence,” exhibit by local art collective The Art Squirrels, thru mid-May, Smiley Cafe Gallery, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Full Body Fit workout, Mon., Tues. and Thurs., 8:15 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

“The Return of the Force,” art exhibit exploring the influence of “Star Wars” on Native artists, FLC’s Center for Southwest Studies. Thru August 2024

Upcoming

Career & Internship Expo, Thurs., April 11, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., FLC Student Union Ballroom

Silverton Splitfest, April 12-14, 8 a.m.-4 p.m., Kendall Mountain, Silverton

Dark Sky Celebration, 6-8:30 p.m., Fri., April 12, The Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino Del Rio

Pond Skim, 12-3:30 p.m., Sun., April 14, Purgatory Resort. Last day of daily operations – open Fri.-Sun thru April 28.

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Eric G. Wilson claims, “Darker emotional states – doubt, confusion, alienation, despair – inspire a deeper and more durable experience of the sacred than contentment does.” I disagree. I know for a fact that an embrace of life’s holiness is equally possible through joy, triumph and breakthroughs. Propagandists of the supposed potency of misery are stuck in a habit that’s endemic to the part of civilization that’s rotting and dying. In any case, I’m pleased to tell you that in coming weeks, you will have abundant opportunities to glide into sacred awareness on the strength of your lust for life.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Will humans succeed in halting the decimation of the environment? Will we neutralize the power of fundamentalism as it fights to quash our imaginations and limit our freedoms? Will we outflank and outlast the authoritarians that threaten democracy? Sorry I’m asking about sad realities. But now is an excellent time to ponder the world we are creating for our descendants – and resolve to do something in loving service to the future. Meditate on the riddle from Lewis Carroll’s book “Through the Looking Glass”: It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The genius Galileo Galilei (1564–1642) contributed much to science. One encyclopedia sums up his legacy: “He was the father of observational astronomy, modern-era classical physics, the scientific method and modern science.” Unfortunately, many of Galileo’s ideas conflicted with the teachings of Catholicism. The church fathers hounded him for years, even arresting him and putting him on trial. The Vatican eventually apologized 350 years after Galileo died. I expect that you, too, will generate many new approaches in coming months –not Galileo level, but still sufficiently unprecedented to rouse the resistance of conventional wisdom. I suspect you won’t have to wait long to be vindicated.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now would be a perfect time to prove your love. How? You might begin by being extra considerate, sensitive, sweet and tender. I hope you will add sublime, scintillating touches, too. Maybe you will tell your beloved allies beautiful truths about themselves – revelations that make them feel deeply understood and appreciated. Maybe you will give them gifts or blessings they have wanted. It’s pos-

sible you will serenade them with their favorite songs, or write a poem or story about them, or buy them a symbol that inspires their spiritual quest. To climax all your kindness, perhaps you will describe the ways they have changed your life for the better.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo naturalist and ornithologist William Henry Hudson (1841–1922) said, “I am not a lover of lawns. Rather would I see daisies in their thousands, ground ivy, hawkweed and dandelions with splendid flowers and fairy down, than the too-well-tended lawn.” I encourage you to adopt his attitude for the next few weeks. Always opt for unruly beauty over tidy regimentation. Choose lush vitality over pruned efficiency. Blend your fate with influences that exult in creative expressiveness, genial fertility and deep feelings. (PS: Cultural critic Michael Pollan says, “A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.”)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I praise and celebrate you for your skills at helping other people access their resources and activate their potentials. I hope you are rewarded well for your gorgeous service. If you are not, please figure out how to correct the problem. If you are feeling extra bold, consider these two additional assignments: 1. Upgrade your skills at helping yourself access your own resources and activate your own potentials. 2. Be forthright and straightforward in asking the people you help to help you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I don’t regard a solar eclipse as a bad omen. On the contrary, I believe it may purge and cleanse stale karma. On some occasions, I have seen it flush away emotional debts and debris that have been accumulating for years. So how shall we interpret the total solar eclipse that will electrify your astrological house of intimate togetherness in coming days? I think it’s a favorable time to be brave and daring as you upgrade your best relationships. What habits and patterns are you ready to reinvent and reconfigure? What new approaches are you willing to experiment with?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): At your best, you Scorpios are not invasive manipulators. Rather, you are catalysts. You are instigators of transformation, resurrectors of dead energy, awakeners of numb minds. The people you influence may not be aware that they long to draw on your influence. They may think you are somehow imposing it on them, when, in fact, you are simply being your genuine, intense self, and they

are reaching out to absorb your unruly healing. In coming weeks, please keep in mind what I’ve said.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It’s prime time for you to shower big, wild favors on your beautiful self. Get the fun under way with rigorous self-care: a physical check-up, perhaps, and visits with the dentist, therapist, hairstylist and acupuncturist. Try new healing agents and seek precise magic that enhances and uplifts your energy. I trust you will also call on luxurious indulgences like a massage, a psychic reading, gourmet meals, an emotionally potent movie, exciting new music and long, slow love-making. Anything else? Make a list and carry out these tasks with the same verve and determination you would give to any important task.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The coming days will be a favorable time for you to wrestle with an angel or play chess with a devil. You will have extraordinary power in any showdown or collaboration with spiritual forces. Your practical intelligence will serve you well in encounters with nonrational enigmas and supernatural riddles. Here’s a hot tip: Never assume that any being, human or divine, is holier or wiser than you. You will have a special knack for finding compassionate solutions to address even the knottiest dilemmas.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your featured organ of the month is your nose. I’m serious: You will make robust decisions if you get your sniffer fully involved. I advise you to favor and explore whatever smells good. Cultivate a nuanced appreciation for what aromas can reveal. If there’s a hint of a stink or an odd tang, go elsewhere. The saying “follow your nose” is especially applicable. PS: I recommend you take steps to expose yourself to a wide array of scents that energize you and boost your mood.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When is the best time to ask for a raise? Can astrology reveal favorable periods for being aggressive about getting more of what you want? In the system I use, the time that’s 30 to 60 days after your birthday is most likely to generate good results. Another phase is 210 to 240 days after your birthday. Keep in mind that these estimates may be partly fanciful and playful and mythical. But then in my philosophy, fanciful and playful and mythical actions have an honored place. Self-fulfilling prophecies are more likely to be fulfilled if you regard them as fun experiments rather than serious, literal rules.

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com

n classifieds@durango telegraph.com

n 970-259-0133

n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2

Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements

Earn Your Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Denver (DU) here in Durango – for the two-year program starting in fall 2024. Classes are held on Fridays. For more info contact Janelle.Doughty@du.edu or www.du.edu/ socialwork

Friday 6pm Dancing Lesson at VFW

Go to DurangoDancing.com to get on notification list.

KDUR is Celebrating 50 years of broadcasting in 2025. Staff is on the hunt for past DJs who have a fond memory, story or even some recorded material! If you do, please email station manager Bryant Liggett, Liggett_b@fortlewis.edu or call 970.247.7261

Classes/Workshops

West Coast Swing Dance

Dance more in 2024! 6-week class starts April 10. Learn the basics of West Coast Swing. Registration is required at www.westslopewesties.com.

Lost/Found

Found: Subaru Key

On rope with knot at Oxbow.  970946-6682

Wanted

Books Wanted at White Rabbit! Cash/trade/donate (970) 259-2213

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum

Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970259-3494.

HelpWanted

Massage Therapists Needed

Amaya is hiring massage therapist part-time positions, must be available weekends Email triciagourley13@gmail. com or drop off resume

Hiring Framing Labor

Must have a good work ethic, transportation and the ability to work as part of a team building custom homes in Durango. Call or Text 970-749-0422

Do You Drive to Bayfield?

The Telegraph is looking for someone to deliver papers to Three Springs/Bayfield every Thursday. Four stops. $25/ week. For info., email telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

ForSale

TaoTronics 4k Action Camera

New and in the box. Waterproof housing, mounts, battery, tethers, protective back cover, USB cable and lens cleaning cloth. $50. J.marie.pace@gmail.com

Reruns Home Furnishings

Get ready for spring entertaining. Beautiful servingware, glassware and baskets. Patio sets, bistros, chaise lounges and yard art. Also furniture, art, linens and other housewares. Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

Services

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

Boiler Service - Water Heater

Serving Durango over 30 years. Brad, 970-759-2869. Master Plbg Lic #179917

Electric Repair

Roof, gutter cleaning, fence, floors, walls, flood damage, mold, heating service.

BodyWork

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-759-0199.

Lotus Path Healing Arts

A unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years experience. To schedule, call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

HaikuMovieReview

‘Damsel’

Millie Bobby Brown desperately needs saving from this wretched film

– Lainie Maxson

CommunityService

Apply Now for Green Grants

The City of Durango is seeking applicants for sustainable project and program funding. Projects must be located in city limits and create community benefits within one or more Sustainability sectors: energy; transportation and development; consumption and waste; water; and natural systems and ecology. Applications can be found at  www.durangoco.gov/1739/ Green-Durango-Grants. Applications due by April 23.

Rodney Ems Memorial Scholarship  is seeking applications from area students who demonstrate a love of golf and how it has had impacted their lives. Scholarships are a minimum of $1,000. Applicants must be a graduating senior in SW Colo. Applications are at  www.remsgolf. com and should be emailed to rems.schol arship@gmail .com by April 15.

“I saw it in the

Read by thousands of discerning eyeballs every week.

(*And a few that just look at the pictures.) For