Durango Telegraph - January 2, 2020

Hangover free since 2019

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FREE Jan. 2, 2020

Vol. XIX, No. 1 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

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B E Y O N D

Exit strategies

Running with the devil

Decade in the making

Big power sees shake up as rural coops seek low-carb future p8

Purgatory restores 666 trail to former glory p12

Nappyness, puffing the dragon and kings of their castles p14

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“Helping you burn brighter since 2002.”

2 n Jan. 2, 2020

telegraph

lineup

8

4 La Vida Local

Power grab Rural coops join frontlines of shift toward renewable energy

4 Thumbin’ It

by Grace Hood / Colorado Public Radio

5 Word on the Street

9

6 Soapbox

Canon contender

7 ReTooned

Steph Cha joins elite crowd with Your House Will Pay

by Jeffrey Mannix

9 Murder Ink

10-11

10-11 Day in the Life

Fine lines

14 Top Shelf

Exploring the gray area between graffiti and history in the Southwest photos by Stephen Eginoire

15-16 On the Town

12

17 Ask Rachel 18 Free Will Astrology

Hells angels Legendary 666 moniker returns to Purg’s frontside

19 Haiku Movie Review

14

On the cover: An early morning driver cruises past the sandstone buttes of Monument Valley, Utah, recently./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

The music man The singers that defined a decade and the pursuit of Nappyness

by Chris Aaland

boilerplate

ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

Sound off

It’s time to dust off the old pipes – the Durango Voice is back. Although auditions don’t take place till Feb. 22, submissions for the 5th annual test of local vocal chords are due Jan. 20.

Aspiring contestants can submit two-minute songs in mp3 format to durangovoice2 @gmail.com and must include their name, phone number and a short bio. The contest is open to all ages and abilities, from showersinging amateurs to fledgling superstars. Although contestants can have a music backing track or accompany themselves on an instrument, the track must feature their vocals only.

Eighteen lucky winners will be chosen from the submissions to go onto the live auditions Feb. 22 at the Henry Strater Theatre. From there, 12 will be chosen by the four-judge panel to go on to the finals Sat., April 25, also at the Strater.

Before the finals, the lucky 12 will also receive a free month of voice coaching from one of the four judges. Three winners will be selected at the finals, and in addition to local notoriety and fame, they will receive gift certificates and prizes.

The Durango Voice is a fundraiser for Manna, which helps to feed the hungry in our community, serving more than 65,000 meals a year. It also provides culinary job training, weekend backpacks of food for school kids, vouchers for services, and more than 1,000 pounds of produce from its community garden.

For more information, visit www.mannasoup kitchen.org or email durangovoice2@gmail.com.

19 Classifieds

by Missy Votel

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com)

Ear to the ground: “He said he wants to take western swing dance lessons. I think he must’ve hit his head.”

– Local woman on her husband’s New Year’s resolution

thepole

RegularOccurrences

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Stephen Eginoire, Jesse Anderson, Zach Hively, Tracy Chamberlin, Grace Hood and Shan Wells

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332 Durango, CO 81302

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distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

PHONE: 970.259.0133

telegraph

Bottoms up Want to bring the thrill of the shot ski home for personal enjoyment? Look no further than instantshotski.com. Thanks to two enterprising ski bums from Boston, shot skis are not only a breeze to assemble, done in about a minute using self-adhesive brackets, but a breeze to disassemble and wash. If you’re into that kind of thing – personally, we think the booze does a good enough job of sanitizing.

The kit sells for $39, which includes four brackets with shot glass-sized openings, as well as easy-to-follow directions that even tipsy aprésers can understand. There are also a variety of other kits that can turn everything including a crutch, hockey stick, paddle and yes, tiki torch, into a vessel for imbibing. Best of all, the manufacturers – Brian Miley and Ben Huggi – tout the ergonomic design as “moustache friendly.”

The brackets will hold most regular-sized shot glasses. Huggi highly recommended skiing with glasses (plastic for obvious reasons) attached for impromptu on-slope refreshment, as he regularly does with his K2 “Party” Pontoons.

Jan. 2, 2020 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal The road not (yet) taken I grew up as a labelmaker kid. Unlike a lot of facts of my childhood, my parents can’t take credit for messing me up with this one. It had nothing to do with their tactics or baggage. This was simply a result of how city life works – even in middling cities with constant identity insecurity, best known for a Bugs Bunny line in a Loony Tunes standard.

Labelmaking is how city kids come to see the world. Walls and fences and streets define who belongs on which side of them. My yard is not your yard, and woe is my wiffle ball that ends up in your rosebushes.

I cannot tell you who I sat next to at any point in elementary school, but I can recreate in vivid if unskilled detail the cartoon pencil that my teacher wrote my name on and taped to the top of my desk so none of the other 34 kids mistook my desk for their desk. She handwrote it because, to be perfectly clear, our school couldn’t afford an actual labelmaker in this labelmaker world.

That’s why we Sharpied my name on my pencil box and my binders and certain siblings and my baseball hat.

And we kids knew, better than we knew long division, which side of the sidewalk belonged to the thirdgrade portables and which to the fourth-grade.

Out here, where I now live, the world seeps into itself. Lines shift with the sand in the wind. A barbed-wire fence runs between my land and the no-man’s on the other side … except the surveys show that the barbed-wire doesn’t align with the property line at all. Fence posts mean more than GPS, though, and considering that this land wasn’t made for fences, neither one means a whole lot, as evidenced by the neighbor kid who drives his pickup through my front yard.

This labelmaker kid doesn’t know how to cope out here without delineations and borders. But out here, this is the way. When the Spaniards arrived – which, according to the state history book that once had my name Sharpied on the inside cover, was the first step toward civilization in this corner of the world – they imported their feature-based method of parsing out land grants. No fences, no streets, no Sharpies. His land stops at the river, and yours goes all the way to those red rocks over there.

This method makes sense out here, where the land is not pre-gridded or

easily griddable. Google Maps doesn’t even recognize my address. But if you manage to find my hood on satellite view, you’ll still see ghost roads from when some ambitious (and undoubtedly Anglo) developer aspired to build a railroad town, sans railroad, on a topography too wrinkled and stubborn to be waffled. It’s like building downtown Durango in the Canyons of the Ancients.

Most of that white boy’s plans withered. A few houses, mine included, persevered. The street signs are handmade – perhaps by another labelmaker kid who can’t stand to give directions by counting trees. Down my road and around the bend, there’s another sign, this one definitely from a fellow labelmaker: Private Road. No Outlet.

Now “road” is a generous term. I snuck a little ways down it one day at dusk. Two tracks in the dirt have a little less brush than the neighboring dirt, and they once supported tires.

This “road” was “built” over washes and ditches using tires and rocks to dam the dust. Who is surprised that the water has persevered longer than the cars?

But to a labelmaker kid, this sign might as well be electrified and armed. One does not simply walk down a private road. No matter how loosely “road” may be defined, “private” is pretty clear.

Out here, though, there ain’t city parks for walking the dog. Lines are fuzzy, to a point; still, I can’t bushwhack through entire swaths of indeterminate ownership. People do own guns out here, and the sheriff is never the first phone call someone makes. Perhaps that’s the Anglo in me talking.

Out here, a road – even a private one – is a passageway. I can’t stumble into someone’s yard on a road.

And, the labelmaker kid still inside me points out one very alluring truth: the sign doesn’t say diddly about trespassing. It’s a private road, but every kid knows trespassing is at least somewhat allowed if it’s not expressly forbidden.

And even if it is forbidden, it’s not like anyone else is using this road. No tire tracks, no footprints. No houses or handmade street signs. It’s wide open country, at least as far as I can tell.

So I’m going to try walking it openly, brazenly, in full daylight, and see what happens. And in case I really take to it, I’m bringing my Sharpie with me.

Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It The La Plata County Clerk and Recorder’s Office receiving a much-needed $350,000 grant from the state to update its woefully outdated computer recordkeeping system

An uptick in expulsions of middle and high school students in the Durango 9-R District due to problems with alcohol and marijuana use

Steps in addressing acid wine waste in the San Juans, with the BLM cleaning up about 2,500 cubic yards of abandoned tailings north of Silverton, which were leaching heavy metals into the Animas River

Pockets of severe drought continuing to linger over parts of the Four Corners, despite significant precipitation in December

Kids learning the spirit of giving, with Bayfield students rounding up 4,000 nonperishable food items to give to other area kids in need through the Pine River Shares program

4 n Jan. 2, 2020

– Zach Hively

The New Year’s Eve blaze at a German zoo, believed to be caused by floating lanterns, that torched a monkey sanctuary, killing all but two of the 30 animals inside

telegraph

New Year’s Destitution The online asking price for tumbleweeds just increased more than 100 percent, and really, that’s 2019 in a nutshell. The signs of our downfall were ubiquitous last year (have you looked above Animas Trading?) and 2020 doesn’t look much better. Vanilla Ice is in talks with Don Jr. to build the Trump Presidential Library on a trailer park in Florida, and it’s no better elsewhere in the world because a British lawmaker was recently charged after killing a fox with a baseball bat while wearing his wife’s kimono. So, let’s take those resolutions seriously, because if America turns into a ghost town, we won’t be able to afford the tumbleweeds.

WordontheStreet

Q

“The Birth Canal.”

With the triumphant return or 666 to the Purgatory trail map, the Telegraph asked: “What would you name a ski run?”

Amy

Scarlett

“The Bloop Hole.”

“Mount Methuselah.”

“Frosty’s Hill.”

Mia

“Link’s Leap."

Tina

Liam

Here’s to a great 2020 and … smiles for miles!

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Jan. 2, 2020 n 5

SoapBox Only one side to climate change To the editor, “(Climate change) is not fear mongering. It is science.”

– Time magazine Durango School District 9-R could learn a lesson in courage from Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old Swedish student activist who was awarded Time magazine’s 2019 Person of the Year. Ms. Thunberg, who has Asperger’s syndrome, has spoken before the U.N. and many other international conferences on climate, calling out world leaders who are jeopardizing her generation’s future by ignoring the seriousness of climate change.

That climate change seems debatable, that there exists both pro and con positions, that it could become the next evolution/creationism schism in schools, with deniers demanding equal representation from politically manipulated school administrators, is a horrifying possibility. Climate change has been steadily accelerating since the advent of the Industrial Revolution with its vast increase in energy consumption. Moreover, since the mid20th century, the rate of change has rocketed forward at an unprecedented rate. In 2019, 40 billion tons of CO2 were pumped into the atmosphere by human activity. In 2020, with all its opportunities for change in front of us, it’ll be somewhat more. In 2021 even more.

Climate change’s connection to burning fossil fuels is not casual. It is cause and effect, a direct and clear connection. There is no “alternate” version; deniers do not have a right to their own set of facts. We, all of us, the world, are falling off a cliff.

District 9-R claims there is no curriculum that does not present both sides of climate change. Then make your own curriculum. There is plenty of source material. Kudos to 9-R for allowing students to make up their own minds on this critical issue. Thumbs down to any suggestion that climate

change is not human driven or deadly serious.

Courage is facing your fear. Courage is also speaking truth to power. Greta Thunberg’s courage is humbling.

District 9-R needs to borrow a little of her backbone and teach climate change for what it is, the 21st century’s greatest global challenge. It is a challenge we cannot leave for the future, but one that must be confronted today. It is a challenge not to be faced by our children, but by us.

– john van becay

Tipton’s anti-environment stance To the editor, Rep. Scott Tipton voted no on the recent Colorado Outdoor Recreation and Economy Act – about the designation of certain wilderness areas, recreation management areas and conservation areas in the state of Colorado. Tipton is failing to lead on public land and wilderness protection, even though outdoor recreation is a huge economic boon to our state’s economy.

His recent vote joins a long list of past anti-environment stances. According to Wikipedia, “He rejects the scientific consensus on climate change. He argues that climate change is driven by natural climate cycles. He opposes the Paris Agreement, the international agreement which mitigates greenhouse gas emissions. He opposes federal regulation of greenhouse gas emissions.

He voted in favor of legislation that would make it easier to sell federal public lands. In 2010, while serving in the State Legislature, Tipton voted against legislation to compel Xcel Energy to convert three coal powered plants to natural gas power plants. He also voted against legislation to require electric utilities to use more renewable energy.”

Tipton’s pro-pollution agenda is locking our nation’s greenhouse gas emissions into an upward trajectory, increasing the likelihood of future wildfire devastation, drought-damaged crops and compromised winter tourism. Colorado’s economy is at risk.

– Jo Ann Kopke, Bayfield

Making a plant-based resolution To the editor, The end-of-year/New Year holidays seem to whiplash us from one extreme to the other: eat, drink and be merry vs. the customary New Year’s resolutions: reduce social media, reduce weight and embrace a plant-based diet!

One-third of consumers report reducing their consumption of animal foods. Hundreds of school, college, hospital and corporate cafeterias have embraced Meatless Monday. Even Chipotle, Denny’s, Panera, Subway, Taco Bell and White Castle are rolling out plant-based options.

A dozen start-ups, led by Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods, are creating healthy, eco-friendly, compassionate, convenient, delicious plant-based meat and dairy alternatives. Meat industry giants Tyson Foods, Cargill and Canada’s Maple Leaf Foods have invested heavily in plant-based meat development. So have a number of Microsoft, Google, Twitter and PayPal pioneers.

According to the Plant-Based Foods Association, plantbased food sales have grown by 20 percent in recent years, 10 times the growth rate of all foods. Sales of plantbased cheeses, creamers, butter, yogurts and ice creams are exploding at a 50 percent growth rate. Plant-based milks now account for 15 percent of the milk market.

The plant-based New Year’s resolution requires no sweat or deprivation – just some fun exploration of your favorite supermarket, restaurants and food websites.

– Diego Horvath, Durango

New year, new you, new wardrobe!

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Jan. 2, 2020 n 7

StateNews

Exit strategies Big power sees shake up as rural coops explore low-carbon future

by Grace Hood Colorado Public Radio

W

hen it comes to greening up Colorado’s power supply, seismic shifts aren’t just coming out of the state Capitol.

They’re also shaking out of rural Colorado, places like the mountains just west of Denver, which is served by United Power.

In November, United said it’s considering parting ways with fossil fuel-heavy power provider Tri-State Generation and Transmission in pursuit of cheaper electricity bills and more renewable energy.

United is not the first – or the last – utility looking to leave Tri-State. Durangobased La Plata Electric Association filed a complaint last year with Colorado regulators seeking an exit fee from Tri-State.

United Power customer Stephen Whiteside lives in Coal Creek Canyon, southwest of Denver. Whiteside is a conservative Republican. He’s also pro-renewable energy.

It’s not a combination you’d expect, but a recent poll by Pew Research suggests many Republicans favor wind and solar.

But Whiteside doesn’t support renewables by building a big solar array in his back yard. He does it by cheering on his rural cooperative, United Power.

“I think that’s fairly recent that renewables may be more cost-effective than other types of energy,” Whiteside said. “To me that makes a lot of sense to pursue that kind of avenue.”

Right now, Tri-State gets about one-third of its power from renewable energy. Customers like Whiteside want more renewables because they think it will bring cheaper rates. According to a recent estimate by Standard and Poor’s, electricity rates for Whiteside and others under the Tri-State System could be as much as 20 percent above the statewide average.

Currently, United Power bands together with 42 other rural electric cooperatives, including La Plata Electric Association, to buy power from Tri-State.

“What that model has not done is kept up

United Power customer Stephen Whiteside loads a wheelbarrow with chopped wood near his rural home in Coal Creek Canyon Dec. 12./Photo by Grace Hood CPR News with the technological changes in the industry,” United Power CEO John Parker said.

Parker thinks it all adds up to growing pressure on the economic model that rural utilities have followed for decades. In the ‘80s and ‘90s, power providers like Tri-State invested heavily in coal-fired plants. Now, they’re trying to green up.

If LPEA and United part ways, they’ll follow in the footsteps of two other rural utilities: Delta Montrose Electric Association and Kit Carson Electric Cooperative, in Taos. Delta Montrose got the OK to buy out its contract in 2019. Kit Carson left in 2016.

“Just as the industry changes, (generation and transmission cooperatives) have to change,” Lee Boughey, Tri-State senior manager for communications and public affairs, said.

Generation and transmission cooperatives like Tri-State formed in rural America in the middle of the last century. It was historically expensive for rural electricity providers to provide power because they just served a few customers per mile of electricity line. That’s unlike urban utilities, which have hundreds of customers per mile. G&Ts helped shoulder the burden by

providing power to rural utilities, building expensive coal-fired power plants and setting up contracts that lasted decades.

Flashforward to 2019, and power customers like United have a keen interest to modernize the grid and experiment with battery storage to keep customers happy.

United Power owns the largest battery in the state, but the coop is still locked into a contract with Tri-State that lasts another 30 years. After Tri-State quoted United a $1.2 billion exit fee to leave its 30-year contract, Parker turned to state regulators for help.

“That’s the balance we’re trying to find.

If it costs us $1.2 billion to get out, we probably can’t save enough money to make that work,” Parker said.

To its credit, Boughey said 2019 was a big year for renewables for Tri-State. It opened up community solar options to its members and brought 104 megawatts of new wind power online. It announced plans to build a 100 megawatt solar farm and its Nucla coal-fired power plant was retired early from service, reducing emissions and making operations more efficient.

Tri-State is finalizing new contracts that would allow rural utilities like United and

LPEA more flexibility to buy renewables. Currently, member coops are capped at generating 5 percent of renewable power locally.

Another one of the challenges for TriState will be to get more fossil fuel off its books as it faces regulatory pressure in Colorado and New Mexico. Legislatures in both states passed carbon-reduction goals for utilities last year. To comply, Tri-State will be required to undergo expensive planning, however, there are no financial penalties if it doesn’t meet the goals.

“As we move into 2020 and chart our course for the future, I think there should be confidence that we’ll be able to meet the challenges ahead,” Boughey said.

Similar disputes are playing out between rural utilities and power suppliers across the United States. In Indiana, Tipmont Rural Electric is seeking to part ways from its power supplier over high rates. In Minneapolis, suburban utility Connexus is in the midst of talks with its power provider to get lower rates and more flexibility.

“Today memberships across the country are expecting more from their G&Ts. They’re expecting competitive prices and a greening of the grid,” Connexus CEO Greg Ridderbusch said.

Like United Power, Connexus is locked into a decades-long contact with its power provider. Ridderbusch said in the future it will be important for utilities to form more flexible partnerships with their power suppliers.

“We need the G&T to lower the constraints on things we’re doing in our own back yard for our members,” Ridderbusch said.

Whiteside said he’s on United Power’s side.

“To have reliable electric service is absolutely critical,” Whiteside said. “If solar power can supplement the other sources that United Power has, it would make sense to do that if it’s available.”

As relationships start to shift across the country between power suppliers and rural utilities, all eyes will be on Colorado. The Public Utilities Commission could rule on the LPEA and United Power cases in 2020.

(This story was edited for clarity and length.

To read it in its entirety, go to www.cpr.org.) n

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telegraph

MurderInk

Canon contender ‘Your House Will Pay’ revisits collateral damage of Rodney King race war 30 years on

by Jeffrey Mannix

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ovels – like movies, music, fashions, trends and fads – keep on coming regardless of quality, need or preference. I’ve mentioned before that I peruse on average 10 crime fiction books before I’m seduced by exceptional writing and lured by canny plots to finish reading and recommend one.

Do the math: You’re hearing about 10 percent of the books in this genre that are worth my time and your time reading. And that’s probably an even smaller percentage when you figure that I miss a few new releases from new or slothful publicists, and I occasionally get left behind for a time as authors or publicists change companies and have to rebuild their list of reviewers.

In my correspondence with publicists, I never fail to assert that I am interested in only “literary” crime fiction, and that’s defined in Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary (The Big Dic) as “writings in which expression and form, in connection with ideas of permanent and universal interest, are characteristic or essential features,” and writings that “provide insights about how society has evolved and about the societal norms.”

In the canon of literature, we think of the great Russians Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Gogol and Chekhov. And the French André Gide, Albert Camus, Sartre and Samuel Beckett, and the more modern crime fiction giants, Georges Simenon and Pascal Garnier. To those we add Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, James Baldwin, Saul Bellow, Truman Capote, Ralph Ellison, Toni Morrison … and

the list accretes with the test of time, but it is never more than a sliver of the writers and books published.

Forgive me for the allocution, it’s just that this month’s “Murder Ink” features a contender for literary eminence. Your House Will Pay, written by KoreanAmerican novelist Steph Cha and astutely purchased by HarperCollins Publishers for their Ecco imprint, may very well be one of those canonical books. We’ve read more than a few recognized and awarded writers of literature in “Murder Ink” reviews.

But Cha’s Your House Will Pay freezes a cultural wince in a snapshot of history that shouldn’t simply be understood as a headline in newspapers or from the pandering snippets of broadcast rectitude.

In the spring of 1991, on March 3, four white Los Angeles police officers were filmed beating nearly to death a defenseless Rodney King after a traffic stop in the middle of an intersection in South Central L.A. The battering with batons, fists and combat boots was widely televised, and on April 29, 1991, after a jury acquitted the four cops of using ex-

cessive force, rioting escalated throughout the L.A. metro area. Over the next six days, the nation watched as lives were lost and property damage escalated to over $1 billion.

Meanwhile, on March 16, following two weeks of agitation in the black community over the Rodney King incident, African-American teen Latasha Harlins was shot twice in the back of the head in a Korean convenience store by female cashier Jung-Ja Han, who was similarly acquitted of wrongdoing.

Cha’s story is about how the families of Latasha Harlins and Jung-Ja Han dealt with this indelible miscarriage of justice with another miscarriage of justice three decades later.

Your House Will Pay is a literary interpretation of these events by descendants of murders impassioned by the unchanging times 30 years apart. Only through well-crafted fiction can we see the verities behind the historical PowerPoint. Ms. Cha will win a slew of awards for Your House Will Pay, and you and I will be wiser for the reading. What a book!

Pick up you copy of Your House Will Pay at Maria’s Bookshop and be sure to ask for the “Murder Ink “15 percent discount. n

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telegraph

Jan. 2, 2020 n

9

dayinthelife 10 n Jan. 2, 2020

Etched

by Ste

I

t’s a fine line between vandalism and history, esp cially here in the Four Corners. For instance, a “pe manent” mark must be 50 years or older to b considered historical. Cow Canyon’s Grand Gallery “official” along with, say, a large white peace symb painted in 1970 from the deck of a Lake Powell hous boat. While it may seem like a travesty to compare th two in such a way, there are countless (and better) e

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ephen Eginoire

peerbe is bol sehe ex-

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amples out there that represent several thousand years of human-made marks. Here’s a look at an area just off the edge of a major highway where modern graffiti is on its way to official historical designation alongside prehistoric markings of Indigenous peoples. And, remember, if you do choose to explore such areas, please visit with respect and remember that some sites are extremely sensitive, even to carefully places footprints.

Putting the pieces together is my passion.

Let me help you with the real estate puzzle.

Gillian Arnwine 970-749-3704 gillian@wellsgroupdurango.com

Jan. 2, 2020 n

11

thesecondsection

Running with the devil Purgatory restores 666 trail to former glory

by Missy Votel

W

hen it comes to reclaiming Purgatory’s storied past, the powers that be are showing no mercy.

That’s right. Sinners and saints alike can rejoice over more than the epic Deepcember of 2019 – 666 is back.

Can we get a hallelujah?

“Basically, James wanted to take it back, so he took it back,” Purg base operations manager and unofficial historian Jim “Hoody” Hards said. He was, of course, referring to Purgatory owner James Coleman (whose initials ironically are J.C. – just saying) who recently restored the diabolical name of the frontside run. Sometime in the late ’90s, it was bestowed with the more pious moniker, “No Mercy.”

Astute ski bums may have noticed the 666 name slowly creeping back onto Purgatory trails report earlier this season. However, newly installed trail signs – which were done by the same Telluride company that made that ski area’s signs – still bore “No Mercy” up until a few weeks ago. But, possibly under the cover of the prince of darkness, the lettering was taken down and replaced with the triple sixes sometime in the last Vincent Duncan few weeks. Nobody really knows for sure, deals with the devil are like that.

Coleman, unfortunately, did not return our email request for comment on the earth-shattering news, probably because he was shralping the pow. And no, we do not have a direct line to the big man upstairs.

But Hards, who’s been with Purgatory for 44 years – enough time to have a run and bar named after him – had the scoop on the 666 saga. As he tells it, despite popular belief, the change to No Mercy (again the actual year was iffy, just like snow reporting) was not a marketing ploy by the Vern Greco regime to lure more god-fearing Bible Belters. Rather, it was the idea of Vincent Duncan, a devout Catholic and brother to Purgatory founder, Ray. “He was a very strong Catholic man, and he didn’t care for the 666 title, so he requested it be scrapped,” Hards said of Vincent.

12 n Jan. 2, 2020

For those not up to speed on Purg history, Ray Duncan, along with Chet Anderson, founded Purgatory in 1965. When Ray, who made his fortune as an oil man, left for the greener vineyards of California, Vincent stepped in to right the ship during tough financial times in the late ’80s and early ’90s. And given the era, he was probably no stranger to films like “The Exorcist” or “The Omen,” and likely thought it prudent not to conjure Satan on family vacations. Oh, and did we mention there was a monsignor in the family?

Alas, the number of The Beast came down, and No Mercy went up – which, as far as we know, is not even a Dante’s Inferno reference. Imaginably, even 20-odd years later, the move proved to be controversial. (Almost as controversial as the whole DMR name change, but more on that later.) Which isn’t to say Vincent was a bad guy. Quite the contrary – if it wasn’t for Vincent negotiating a loan from the United Bank of Denver in the early ’90s to keep the lifts run-

telegraph

ning, there would be no ski trail names to argue over.

To top it off, when investors got jittery, he even refunded their money, which was not exactly pocket change.

“Vincent was a great guy but … but of course, everyone liked 666, so there was some resentment,” said Hards. “That never really went away.”

In fact, several squeaky bullwheels played devil’s advocate over the years, launching various “Bring Back 666” campaigns, possibly including longtime liftie Barry “Carmine” Kemler.

“I may have alluded to (changing the name) over the years,” said Kemler, who’s skied Purg for 40 years and spent 21 years working there in various capacities before retiring last year. “I don’t know if that was enough to get the ball rolling, though.”

But like a giant snowball gaining speed, roll it did.

Kemler, along with other old schoolers, praised the move to banish No Mercy to the depths of hell. 4

Purgatory fun facts (and other ways to pass the time with strangers on the lift)

“There was a lot of squawking over the years to bring it back and James bought it back,” he said.

Alas, Kemler, 65 – who received a lifetime ski pass for his service – has yet to ski the notorious bumps of the new old run.

“My knees don’t like to do that anymore,” he said.

Fellow old-timer “Dirty” Don Hinkley, who spent 33 years on Purg Ski Patrol, concurred with the move to reinstate 666. He had heard nothing about the name change until he spied the sign from the chair last week. “I always liked the name 666, I could spell it,” he said.

Perhaps another ghost of Purg past that may be happy to see the return of 666 is the fabled ski patroller known as “Sixes” (who we’ll also call Mike, because that’s his name.)

According to ski bum lore, one night during sweep, as the tale goes, he hunkered down on 666, even going so far as to build a small fire, while awaiting his companion patroller. See, like beavers, wolves and shingleback skinks, patrollers on sweep partner up for life, or at least till darkness do they part.

Of course, Dirty and other ski patrollers remember things a little differently.

“Mike missed his checkpoint at Phone 6,” former patroller – and the only person interviewed for this story without an obscure nickname – Bethany McManus told us. Bear in mind, this happened before the days of cell phones or even radios. Patrollers

had to call in via old World War II surplus phones located around the mountain. “He was a rookie, so he was ‘razzed’ – a World War II word – and given the name Six.” Alas, such common sense is not the stuff of ski area legends, which can grow larger than life. Much like the “666” scrawled into the trailside aspen all those years ago. (Incidentally, the Telegraph does not condone defacing trees as a form of civil disobedience.)

And it is these legends, sometimes maybe just a little embellished, that Coleman has sought to keep alive since he first skied and fell in love with Purg in the ’80s as a teen-ager.

Either that or the devil made him do it.

“James has that nostalgia in him,” said Hards. “He probably got wind from some old standing locals – he skis with Major (Lefebvre) a lot. He hears something and makes the change.”

Case in point: the ill-fated “DMR” logo, which Hards admits to never really liking. It was among the first to receive the Coleman heave-ho in favor of the retro, red and white triple-flag (or is it upside down mountains?)

“It’s iconic, the brand, I’m glad to see it back,” said Hards.

As for the trail signs, he said the rest of the mountain’s signs will be phased in over the next few years. What that entails is anyone’s guess – maybe a return of the “No bota bags” placard on the Dante’s door?

“Always a possibility,” said Hards. n

1. Burn, baby burn: Purgatory’s founders, Chet Anderson and Ray Duncan, tied trail names to Dante’s Inferno, which refers to Purgatory as a seven-storied mountain Dante encounters after escaping hell. Several of the resort’s first trail names reference the Inferno including: Catharsis; Demon; El Diablo; Hades; Limbo; Pandemonium; Paradise; Pitchfork; and Styx.

2. What’s in a name? Many trails are named after founders, employees, shareholders and notable locals. While Chet’s, Ray’s Ridge or McCormack’s may be self-explanatory, some of the more obscure trail namesakes include: The Bank (Bank of Durango and former owner Nick Turner, who financed much of the initial work); Crazy Joe’s (named after a log skidder who was said to do “unbelievable work with his equipment”); Mercy (prominent Durango doctor Dr. Pat Luter); and Zinfandel (for Duncan’s newfound career as a vintner.)

3. Other cast-offs: In addition to 666, other trails that underwent name changes include Damn If I Know (now BDM Expressway) and Swire’s Gulch (now Demon.)

4. Where the elk roam: Elk once frolicked freely in Hermosa Park. Not only is Wapiti named for the Native American word for “elk,” but Dead Spike was named when trail crews found a dead spike (young elk) and Bull Run came from a bull elk that ran across the trail when it was being cut.

5. The long – and short – of it: • Longest black – Ray’s Ridge, 5,500 feet • Longest blue – Boogie, 6,700 feet • Longest green – Pinkerton Toll Road, 7,000 feet • Shortest black – Li’l Toot, 390 feet • Most challenging black – McCor-

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mack’s Maze/Hoody’s • Steepest bump run – Lower Bull Run 6. Ups and downs: Here’s a good one to stump chairmates: Why can Purg’s chairlifts only run at 50 percent capacity? Because half of the chairs are going down the mountain, and thus, (mostly) unoccupied.

7. Pass the sauce: A “Riblet” is not just a tasty treat at Applebee’s but the company that built many of Purg’s original lifts.

Once the world’ biggest chairlift manufacturer, the Spokane-based Riblet

Tramway Co. operated from 1908-2003 and is known for its style of chairs with a middle pole separating the two seats. The resort’s most vintage example of this is Chair 2, aka Engineer.

8. Jibbers welcome: Purgatory was one of the first resorts to welcome snowboarders – they had to get special “certificates” from ski school to show they were qualified to ride safely. Purg’s first halfpipe, the “Trick Ditch,” was built in 1986 under Lift 2. #bringbackthetrickditch 9. Starstruck: The 1978 movie “Avalanche” was filmed at Purgatory and starred Rock Hudson, Mia Farrow and none other than local champion gelande jumper “Dirty” Don Hinkley, who did the stunt skiing and jumping 10. Fully loaded: The Six Pack can carry 3,000 riders per hour at 12 mph.

Jan. 2, 2020 n 13

TopShelf

Nappyness, puffing the dragon and kings of their castles

by Chris Aaland

A

s the calendar flips and the fourth decade of my adulthood fades into oblivion, I’m taking time to reflect on what the past 10 years meant to me. The twenty-teens were tumultuous ones: the birth of two children; a life-or-death surgery to repair an aortic aneurism; deaths of grandparents, parents, siblings, children and friends; a career change I didn’t seek; and the inevitable realization that I can’t stand, dance, run, sit, sleep, drink or screw like I used to.

Aging sucks.

I also realized that for seven of the 10 years, hope reigned supreme with Barack Obama in the White House. At the time of Obama’s 2012 reelection, it seemed that the Tea Party had reared its ugly head, took its inevitable beating and then sheltered underneath the rock it crawled out from under. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Enter Adolf Twitler and his angry mob of Deplorables, fueled by Russian cyber-attacks and the relative anonymity of social media. I now know what Leia and Luke must’ve felt like after defeating the Empire, only to have the First Order reappear out of nowhere.

The Resistance started hours after Mango Mussolini’s election. First, there were pink pussy hats, followed by black Smoky Bear T-shirts. The singers and artists followed, unleashing their superpowers with some of the best protest anthems since the ‘60s. Remarkably, though, the on-stage banter has been less political in the Trump years than before. Artists like Pearl Jam and Neil Young, both of whom I saw onstage in Telluride the past four years, kept their preaching to a minimum.

Their lyrics spoke for themselves.

Driving to and from work at KSUT the past few days, I heard plenty of NPR talking heads wax prophetically about their artists and albums of the decade. I started asking the same questions.

What were my favorite concerts? Albums? Songs? My thoughts, as they often are, were scattered. Then, somewhere between the airport and Oxford on Tuesday morning, I had an epiphany.

Jason Isbell is my Artist of the Decade. He defined the Americana musical movement of the 2010s, releasing four studio albums, some true solo efforts and others with his backing band, the 400 Unit. Three of these – “Southeastern,” “Something More than Free” and “The Nashville Sound” – were instant classics.

Isbell entered my world in 2001 when he joined Drive-By Truckers as their third singer/guitarist. A juggernaut like the Truckers was limiting to him, as Patterson Hood and Mike Cooley wrote the bulk of the material. Isbell’s two or three additions to each DBT album were highlights. Songs like “Outfit,” “Decoration Day,” “Danko/Manuel” and “Goddamn Lonely Love” were – and remain – staples of his live performance. While his time in DBT allowed him to hone his skills as a musician and songwriter, it also was self-destructive. Isbell rocked out on one side of the stage with a big bottle of Jack Daniels to swill in between songs, while his then-wife Shonna Tucker slapped the bass and chugged from an equally big bottle on the other side.

Shortly after leaving the band, he kicked his bad habits, found a burst of creativity that grows with each passing year and started a new family with singer/fiddler Amanda Shires. Whether he’s

14 n Jan. 2, 2020

telegraph

penning introspective songs about his personal triumphs and tragedies, or taking a scathing look at the current state of American affairs, he’s the voice of his generation.

I also started thinking about who is the Local Artist of the Decade, and that was an even easier choice. Erik Nordstrom, through his work with Lawn Chair Kings and Farmington Hill, is at the forefront of the local music scene. No festival late-nigh pick is complete without him.

And no Friday afternoon gig is better than with The Nord and his Fender guitar twanging away. He’s part punk, part country crooner, part indie-rock guitar hero and part hippie bluegrasser. LCK underwent numerous personnel and stylistic changes the past decade, but always returned to its guitar-bass-drum garage rock roots. In his alt-country juggernaut, Farmington Hill, he’s found four bandmates with a similar DIY ethos. The Nord is the king of his own castle, even if that musical kingdom only extends from Dolores to Pagosa Springs. And there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

Now let’s look to the future, the 2020s.

Nappy Roots have been at the forefront of alternative Southern rap since 1995, when they formed as students at Western Kentucky University. They’ve since earned critical praise, including a pair of Grammy nominations and an American Music Association nod in 2003. They continue to pursue “Life, liberty and the pursuit of Nappyness.”

They’ll take the stage at the Animas City Theatre at 9 p.m. Wednesday in a Jason Isbell twin bill that also features Kind Dub. The Motet gets funky at Club Red in Telluride’s Mountain Village at 9 p.m.

Saturday. No band has been more versatile the past two-plus decades than the Denver-based septet fronted by founding member drummer Dave Watts. At the start, they were a jam band rooted in world music. Their poly-ethnic sound took a drumheavy approach for a while in the early 2000s, then transformed into sushi bar jazz. Then, around 2010, they got funky, in the best mid-70s disco sense of the word. The last three albums – 2014’s “The Motet,” 2016’s “Totem” and last year’s “Death or Devotion” – took them to new heights. Locally, this meant moving from the Animas City Theatre to the Community Concert Hall and, ultimately, Buckley Park, where more than a thousand people boogied at last summer’s KSUT Party in the Park.

Peter, Paul & Mary were a thing back in the day. I can still remember my first step-dad playing “Puff, The Magic Dragon” on his guitar and Mom spinning their vinyl records in our trailer atop Silt Mesa. The group’s creative mastermind, Peter Yarrow, plays the Sheridan Opera House in Telluride at 7 p.m. tonight (Thurs., Jan. 2), with a pre-concert book signing at 6.

The Sheridan gets a wee bit more contemporary when it hosts the electronic hydro funk experience known as SunSquabi at 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday.

A few more things are happening this week: Rob Webster plays the Ska Brewing World Headquarters at 5 p.m. tonight; and Joel Racheff works the Seven Rivers Steakhouse at the Sky Ute Casino in Ignacio at 6 p.m. Saturday.

We’ll take a cup of kindness yet? Email me at chrisa@gobrain storm.net. n

onthetown

Thursday02

Loki Moon, 6-8 p.m., Durango Coffee Co.

Baby Meetup with Durango Café au Play, 9:30-11:30 a.m., 2307 Columbine. 749-9607.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., DJ Hakan 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Living Your Best Life with Disabilities: Researching Your Diagnosis, co-hosted by Southwest Center for Independence, 1:30-2:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Ecstatic Dance with DJ CodeStar, 7-10 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Saturday04

Thursday Afternoon Social Club for veterans, their spouses and supporters, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Henry Stoy, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Restaurant & Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave. VFW Indoor Flea Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 1550 Main Ave.

Rob Webster performs, 5-8 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

National Theatre Live: “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” 11 a.m., show also runs 1 p.m., Jan. 5, Animas City Theatre, 128 College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Tim Sullivan performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Sitting Meditation, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.

Adam Swanson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Live music, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Open Mic Night, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

Joel Racheff performs, 6-10 p.m., Seven Rivers Restaurant, Sky Ute Resort, Ignacio.

Community Acoustic Music Jam, 7 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Thee Fearless Peasants perform the Incorrect Bluegrass & Science Fiction Review, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Open Mic & Stand-Up, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

“God Help Us!” with Ed Asner, 7:30 p.m., Farmington Civic Center. 505-599-1148 or www.fmtn.org/CivicCenter.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave. Plursday featuring DJ Hakan, 9 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

DJ Side Affex, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Friday03

Sunday05

Durango Early Bird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA, 45 Stewart St.

Veterans Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds. 946-4831.

Free yoga, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Lively Boutique, 809 Main.

Henry Stoy, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Restaurant & Wine Bar, 601 Main Ave.

Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Free Books, hosted by Durango Book Rescue, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 923 Narrow Gauge Ave.

Spanish Speaking Parents & Littles Fridays, 4-6 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. durangocafeauplay.org.

Traditional Irish Music Jam, 12:30-4 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Live music, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Workshop and Signing with Emmy Award winner Ed Asner, 1 p.m., Farmington Civic Center. 505599-1148 or www.fmtn.org/CivicCenter.

Live music, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

+

Joel Racheff performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Open Mic Night, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Hermosa Coffee Roasters, 738 Main Ave.

Karaoke, 7 p.m.-close, VFW, 1550 Main Ave.

Gypsy Jazz Duo performs, 3:30-5 p.m., Scenic Aperture Gallery, 708 Main Ave.

0

Blue Moon Ramblers, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Monday06 Yoga Storytime, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building Studio 10, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Watch Your Step class, 10:15 a.m., event runs each Monday and Wednesday, Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave. Joel Racheff performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Rob Webster performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

Contiki Party with the Aussies, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday07 “Protecting the Western Slope’s land, air and water,” presentation by The Club – La Plata Dems on the Move January Luncheon, featuring noon-1:30 p.m., DoubleTree Hotel, 501 Camino del Rio. theclubdems@gmail.com.

Terry Rickard performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Tim Sullivan performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Rotary Club meets, presentation from Days for Girls leaders Susan Rowe and Sally Olsen, 6 p.m., Henry Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave. 385-7899.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave. 403-3068.

DJ Crazy Charlie, 6:30-10:30 p.m., Billy Goat Saloon, Gem Village.

Latin Dance Night, 8 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave. salsadancedurango@gmail.com.

Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.4

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Jan. 2, 2020 n 15

Wednesday08 Fired Up Stories! read by firefighters and EMTs, 10:30-11:15 a.m., Durango Public Library.

BookMarks Discussion, featuring The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides, 2 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Donny Johnson performs, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Thank the Veterans potluck, 5:30 p.m., Peter Neds performs, 7-8:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. 828-7777.

Terry Rickard performs, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. McDonald’s Twilight Nights Race Series, featuring Nordic skiing, snow shoeing or fat biking, registration, 5-5:45 p.m., Purgy’s, race begins, 6 p.m., base area at Purgatory Resort. www.purgatoryresort.com.

Loki Moon – Raw Experiments, 6-8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave. Sexual Assault Awareness discussions on sexual assault, warning signs, rights, laws, resources and more, 6-8 p.m., Durango Public Library.

San Juan Basin Archaeological Society presentation on “Creating Color in Prehistoric Art of the Southwest: Pigment, procurement, processing and application in the pictographs and artifacts of Utah and beyond,” 7 p.m., Center of Southwest Studies at Fort Lewis College. sjbas.org.

Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr. Karaoke, 8 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

4th annual Winter Art Show by Looking Glass Art Collective, benefit for Local First, exhibit runs thru Jan. 30, Smiley Café, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Morgan Heritage performs with special guests Niceness, 8 p.m., Jan. 15, Animas City Theatre, 128 College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

“Inside Out: Visions from the Artist’s Mind,” thru April 2020, Southern Ute Museum, 503 Ouray Dr. www.southernutemuseum.org.

“Going out In Style,” journalist Ann Butler and political cartoonist and art historian Judith Reynolds explore the history of death, the philosophy of dying, and death in art, obituaries and obit cartoons, presented by Durango Friends of the Arts, 10 a.m., Jan. 16, Durango Rec Center. 512-517-5619.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Thur-Sun, 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E 8 Ave. th

Upcoming 28th annual Southwest Economic Outlook, 8:30-11 a.m., Jan. 9, Student Union Ballroom, Fort Lewis College. 247-7582.

Kids/Teen Follies Auditions, 3:30-5:30 p.m., Jan. 10, and 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Jan. 11, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Powder Hounds Art Auction Opening Event, 5-7 p.m., Jan. 10, Animas Chocolate Co. lpchumane society.org.

Elks National Hoop Shoot Free Throw Competition, for boys & girls ages 8-13, hosted by Durango Elks Lodge #507, 10 a.m., Jan. 11, Escalante Middle School Gym. elkshoopshoot.org.

National Theatre Live: “The Lehman Trilogy,” 11 a.m., Jan. 11, show also runs 1 p.m., Jan. 12, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animasci tytheatre.com.

“The Human Element” screening, presented by the Citizens Climate Lobby and environmental photographer James Balog, 3 p.m., Jan. 11, Sky Ute Casino, Ignacio.

“Screenagers: Next Chapter” documentary, 7 p.m., Jan. 12, Miller Middle School, 2608 Junction St.

Karaoke with Crazy Charlie, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Animas High School Information Night, 5:306:30 p.m., Jan. 14, 271 Twin Buttes Ave. 247-2474.

Nappy Roots performs, 8:30 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

The New Deal performs, 8 p.m., Jan. 14, Animas City Theatre, 128 College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Ongoing LPCHS Powder Hounds Snowboard Art Auction, featuring 20 artists and boards, Jan. 2-Feb. 3. lpchumanesociety.org.

16 n Jan. 2, 2020

The Real Social Event 2020, symposium on artificial social environments, artificial intelligence and more, 5-8 p.m., Jan. 15, Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave.

telegraph

The Met: Live in HD, featuring Berg’s “Wozzeck,” 10:55 a.m., Jan. 18, Student Union Vallecito Room, Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Black Violin performs, 7:30 p.m., Jan. 18, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.du rangoconcerts.com.

Choir of Man performs, 7:30 p.m., Jan. 21, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.du rangoconcerts.com.

Joint Advisory Meeting on E-Bikes, 5-7 p.m., Jan. 22, Durango Rec Center. www.durangogov.org.

Book Talk, Signing and Q&A with Don Roberts, author of Wellness Toolbox, 5:30 p.m., Jan. 22, Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave. 749-8663.

Golden Dragon Acrobats performs, 7:30 p.m., Jan. 23, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.durangoconcerts.com.

Winter Pride 2020 Ski Meetups, 10:30 a.m., Jan. 24-26, meet at Lift 1 at Purgatory Ski Resort. www.durango pride.org.

Winter Pride 2020 Apres Ski, 2-5 p.m., Jan. 2425, Purgy’s at Purgatory Ski Resort. www.durango pride.org.

Winter Pride 2020 Dinner Meet & Greets, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Jan. 24-25, Paradise Pizza at Purgatory Ski Resort. www.durangopride.org.

Marvel Years performs, doors open, 8 p.m., show begins, 9 p.m., Jan. 24, Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Ave. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Winter Pride 2020 Fresh Powder Drag Hour, 1:15 p.m.-3:15 a.m., Jan. 24, Chapman Hill Ice Rink. www.durangopride.org.4

AskRachel Interesting fact: I just did some insta-research, and many peach trees are self-pollinating. So my new favorite insult is to make like a peach tree and go eff yourself.

Dear Rachel, I have been hearing a lot lately on the television that nobody is above The Law. Then how come cops can speed and we can’t? I mean if he has his flashing lights on, that’s one thing, but how about the guy racing home in the cop car for that lunchtime quickie that he has been sexting about all morning? How about the guy whose shift ended five minutes ago, and he is afraid he will be late for happy hour if he doesn’t step on the gas? ... and they tell me to slow down!!! If I had flashing lights on the roof of my car, I’d be pulling over those speeding cops! And btw, if a cop with his flashing lights on meets a school bus with its flashers going, who wins?

– Mustang Sally Dear Long Tall, What a New Year’s gift. I’d forgotten about your letter, sent before the Telegraph went on holiday hiatus just long enough to prove that one week off feels like zero weeks off. And when I fired up the ol’ vintage laptop to cull through both of the Christmas letters I got, I remembered how you saved me a significant portion of my first weekly word count for 2020. How can I ever repay you?

– It’s nothing, Rachel

Dear Rachel, If you plant a peach pit from a dwarf peach tree, will it grow another dwarf tree? Will it grow a full-size tree instead? Will it even be a peach, or could it be some strange peach/apple hybrid? Or can you even grow a peach tree from a peach pit, or should my wife just go buy a sapling from the plant store so she knows for certain what she’s growing and that it will never tangle with the power lines overhead?

- Peachy Keen Dear Tutti Frutti, I’m most concerned by the question of whether peach trees come from peach pits. I’m wondering if we need to have a little lesson about the birds and the bees – which, hey, I’ve always wondered where that phrase came from, but they are probably the things that facilitate tree sex, so it all makes sense now! Thank you for illuminating me. And let your wife plant whatever she pleases, if you hope to sow her row ever again.

– Shake my tree, Rachel

Dear Rachel, What is an auld lang syne, anyway?

- Auld Acquaintance Dear Be Forgot, Wasn’t I just talking about word counts? You are proof positive that karma levels all playing fields. An auld lang syne is a showdown between a cop car with its flashers on and a school bus with its blinking stop sign extended.

I choose to believe the cops driving the car would weigh

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com their options. If they’re speeding to save a busload of kids, then running over one or two on the way is probably worth it. If, however, they’re simply rushing home for a lunchtime quickie, then running over children is not worth it – unless the quickie will result in more children than are crossing the street. It’s arithmetic, dear Watson. Simple arithmetic.

– A cup o’ kindness, Rachel

This one goes to 11 Issue 11 of The Gulch is now out!

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com.

To find out about advertising opportunities, email: steve@gulchmag.com

telegraph

Jan. 2, 2020 n 17

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): “We are all hostages of the joy of which we deprive ourselves,” poet Odysseus Elytis wrote. Isn’t that an astounding idea? That we refuse to allow ourselves to experience some of the bliss and pleasure we could easily have; and that we are immured inside that suppressed bliss and pleasure? I call on you, Aries, to rebel against this human tendency. As I see it, one of your main tasks in 2020 is to permit yourself to welcome more bliss, to aggressively seize more pleasure, and thereby free yourself from the rot of its nullification.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): At age 22, Taurus-born Dutch citizen Willem de Kooning sneaked into the United States. He was a stowaway on an Argentina-bound freighter and stealthily disembarked when the ship made a stop in Virginia. As he lived in America during subsequent decades, he became a renowned painter who helped pioneer the movement known as abstract expressionism. His status as an illegal immigrant rarely presented any obstacles to his growing success and stature. Not until age 57 did he finally become an American citizen. I propose we make him one of your role models in 2020. May he inspire you to capitalize on being a maverick, outsider or stranger.

May he encourage you to find opportunities beyond your safety zone.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When British novelist E. M. Forster was in his late 30s, he had sex with another person for the first time. Before that he had published five novels. After that, he produced just one more novel, though he lived till age 91. Why? Was he having too much fun? Looking back from his old age, he remarked that he would have been a more famous writer if he had published more, “but sex prevented the latter.” I suspect that sensual pleasure and intimacy will have the exact opposite effect on you in 2020, Gemini. In sometimes mysterious ways, they will make you more productive in your chosen sphere.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Every part of our personality that we do not love will regress and become hostile to us,” poet Robert Bly wrote. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t suffer from this problem at least a little. That’s the bad news. The good news for us Cancerians (yes, I’m a Crab!) is that 2020 will be a favorable time to engage in a holy crusade to fix this glitch: to feel and express more love for parts of our personality that we have dismissed or marginalized. The result? Any self-sabotage we have suffered from in the past could dramatically diminish.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As a young adult, Leo-born Raymond Chandler worked as a fruit picker, tennis racquetstringer and bookkeeper. At age 34, he began a clerical job at the Dabney Oil Syndicate and eventually rose in the ranks to become a well-paid executive.

The cushy role lasted until he was 44, when he was fired. He mourned for a while, then decided to become an author of detective fiction. It took a while, but at age 50, he published his first novel. During the next 20 years, he wrote six additional novels as well as numerous short stories and screenplays – and in the process became popular and influential. I present this synopsis as an inspirational story to fuel your destiny in 2020.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The fame of Virgo-born Italian poet Ludovico Ariosto (1474– 1533) has persisted through the ages because of Orlando Furioso, an epic poem he authored. It tells the story of the Christian knight Orlando and his adoration for a pagan princess.

This great work did not come easily to Ariosto. It wasn’t until he had written 56 versions of it that he was finally satisfied. I suspect you may harbor an equally perfectionist streak about the good works and labors of love you’ll craft in 2020. May I suggest you confine your experiments to no more than 10 versions?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci worked on his painting “The Last Supper” from 1495-98. It’s a big piece: about 15 by 29 feet.

That’s one reason why he took so long to finish. But there was another explanation, too. He told his patron, the Duke of Milan, that he sometimes positioned himself in front of his painting-inprogress and simply gazed at and thought about it, not lifting a brush.

Those were times he did some of his hardest work, he said. I trust you will have regular experiences like that in 2020, Libra. Some of your best efforts will arise out of your willingness and ability to incubate your good ideas with concentrated silence and patience.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): By 1895, Henry James had already published 94 books. He was renowned in the U.S. and England, and had written the works that would later lead to him being considered for a Nobel Prize. Then, at age 52, although he was not physically fit, he decided to learn how to ride a bicycle. He paid for lessons at a bicycle academy and cheerfully tolerated bruises and cuts from his frequent falls as an acceptable price to pay for his new ability. I admire James’ determination to keep transforming. Let’s make him a role model for you in 2020. May he inspire you to keep adding new aptitudes as you outgrow your previous successes.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): When Sagittarian composer Ludwig van Beethoven created the Eroica symphony in the early 1800s, many observers panned it. They said its rhythms were eccentric, that it was too long. One critic said it was “glaring and bizarre,” while another condemned its “undesirable originality.” This same critic concluded, “Genius proclaims itself not in the unusual and fantastic but in the beautiful and sublime.” Today, of course, Eroica has a different reputation. It’s regarded as a breakthrough event in musical history. I’ll go on record here, Sagittarius, to say that I suspect you created your own personal version of Eroica in 2019. 2020 is the year it will get the full appreciation it deserves, although it may take a while. Be patient.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m going to speculate that sometime in the next six months, you will experience events that years from now you’ll look back on as having been the beginning of a fresh universe for you. What should you call this launch? I suggest you consider elegant terms like “Destiny Rebirth” or “Fate Renewal” rather than a cliché like the “Big Bang.” And how should you celebrate it? As if it were the Grand Opening of the rest of your long life.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 2020, I believe you will be able to summon the insight and kismet necessary to resolve at least one longrunning problem, and probably more.

You’ll have an enhanced ability to kick bad habits and escape dead-ends and uncover liberating truths about mysteries that have flustered you. Frustrations and irritations you’ve grudgingly tolerated for far too much time will finally begin to wane. Congratulations in advance, Aquarius! The hard work you do to score these triumphs won’t always be delightful but it could provide you with a curiously robust and muscular kind of fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Let’s say you wanted to dress completely in silk: shirt, pants, vest, scarf, socks, shoes, hat, underwear all made of silk. And let’s say your dream was to grow and process and weave the silk from scratch. You’d start with half an ounce of silkworm eggs. They’d hatch into 10,000 silkworms. Eventually those hard-working insects would generate five pounds of silk – enough to create your entire outfit. So in other words, you’d be able to generate an array of functional beauty from a small but concentrated amount of raw material.

By the way, that last sentence is a good description of what I think your general approach should be in 2020. And also by the way, dressing in silk wouldn’t be too crazy an idea in the coming months. I hope you’ll have fun cultivating your allure, style and flair.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish

Announcements

Wanted Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

Services Bookkeeping Services 1099s, bank & credit card reconciliations, payroll, sales tax, HR, sales & marketing, problem solving & support.

505-508-9133 cowaterfalls39@gmail.com Got Radon?

Call or text 970-394-4071 to schedule a test today.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside near Durango and Bayfield, RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494

Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956, www.himkitchen.com. Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. Try our allyou-can-eat lunch buffet. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free. Hours: Lunch, 11am-2:30 p.m. & dinner, Sun. Thurs., 5-9:30 p.m., Fri. & Sat. ‘til 10 p.m.

Closed 2:30 - 5, daily.

Calling All Vocalists!

The Durango Voice is back … a fundraiser for Manna is calling for auditions! Submit your best 2 min song in mp3 format by Jan. 20. Include your name, phone, email & short bio. Send to durangovoice2@gmail.com. The Live Blind Auditions show will be held Feb. 22 at the Strater Theatre and if selected, the Finals on April 25.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Desert, The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192 Marketing Small and Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Email jnderge@gmail.com Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advanced ductcleaninginc.com

Classes/Workshops

and Yoga Breathing classes. Drop ins welcome. Smiley Building, Room #32. 2594794. www.4cornersyoga.com Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

Yoga Classes Starting January 6 With Kathy Curran. Offering all levels of classes as well as Yoga for Bone Health

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‘Knives Out’ The most fun that I had at the movies in all of 2019 – Lainie Maxson

BodyWork massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 201819. Couples, cupping, local CBD. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984 Massage with Kathryn 20+ years experience offering a fusion of esalen style, deep tissue massage with therapeutic stretching & Acutonics. New clients receive $5 off first session. To schedule appt. call 970-201-3373.

ForSale Reruns Home Furnishings Cozy furnishing! Vintage toboggan & snow scoop. Lots of fun new arrivals: lamps, rugs, art, night stands. Beautiful glassware & linens. Cool vintage dishes – Pyrex & Fiestaware. New great stuff & daily markdowns. 572 E. 6th Ave. 385-7336.

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

ForRent

Salsa Dance Classes Let’s get the New Year started with the best salsa dance classes in the Four Corners!

A new 6 week session begins at the Wild Horse this Tuesday, January 7th. Levels 3/4 at 6:30-7:15, Levels 1/2 at 7:15-8pm. Cost: $80/person, Drop In: $15. Couples & student rates too! Practice time/Latin Dance Night begins after 8pm. Contact Lou at salsadancedurango@gmail.com for more info, like us on FB @Salsa Dance Durango.

See you on the dance floor!

HaikuMovieReview

Beautiful, Furnished Shared Office Space Downtown, avail Fridays $200/mnth.

Melaney 970-382-1188

CommunityService Recycle Christmas Trees at Santa Rita Park through Jan. 31.

Please note there is no curbside pick-up of trees. Residents may drop-off natural trees free of ornaments & tinsel at the drop-off site near the large playground.

The trees will be recycled into mulch, which will be available to residents in the spring. For info, call (970) 375-7321 or rec@DurangoGov.org.

The Free Bag, Bag Free Project Needs old T-shirts to turn into reusable shopping bags. If you have some, please contact durangobeyondplastic@gmail.com La Plata Thrive! Living Wage Coalition is seeking steering committee members! Are you passionate about social justice? Do you have a knack for nonprofit organizing? Apply today at thrivelaplata@gmail.com or visit thrive laplata.org!

Earn Your Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Denver (DU) here in Durango – for the two-year program starting in fall 2020. Classes on Fridays and Saturdays. For more info, contact Carla Hase at 247-9773 or Carla.hase@du.edu.

Nonprofit Seeks Volunteers for High School Exchange ASSE International, a nonprofit student exchange program, is seeking volunteers to serve as Area Representatives.

ASSE offers qualified students from around the world, between the age of 15-18, the opportunity to spend a high school year or semester in the United States with a host family. The opportunity to study abroad and live with a host family is also offered to American high school students ages 15-18. For more info, call 800-733-2773, visit us online at www.asse.com, or email asseu sawest@asse.com.

Volunteer-Powered Program Offers Hope SASO seeks compassionate, caring people to become advocates on its 24-hour crisis hotline. Provide sexual assault survivors with support and resources to promote healing. Call Laura, 259-3074, for information about free upcoming training.

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