The Durango Telegraph, Feb. 2, 2023

Full-on nerd rage

Knight Fights bring ‘Game of Thrones’ to Snowdown

The French connection

La Bonne Patisserie melds

old, new world tastes

Where art thou fun?

One-stop guide to Snowdown

rabble-rousing

4

VRB-Doh!

The key to unlocking a great Airbnb vacation by Zach Hively

7 Going medieval

Knight fights bring real-life ‘Game of Thrones’ to Snowdown by

9

French connection

Newly opened La Bonne Patisserie offers classics with Southwestern flair by Julie Hastings-Black

RegularOccurrences

4 La Vida Local

4 Thumbin’ It

6 Soap Box

7 Top Story

9 Local News

10 Murder Ink

11 Stuff to Do

12-13 Snowdown 2023

Ear to the ground:

“I just pretend like I’m skating over to Chair 3.”

– Local alpine skier discussing his slightly rusty skate ski technique

Dive right in

As some may recall, Casa Bonita, the Mexican restaurant outside Denver known for its kitschy décor, cliff jumping and one-star food, recently filed for bankruptcy. That’s when “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone bought the restaurant, vowing to, among other things, improve the food. Parker and Stone grew up in Colorado and have always had a fascination with Casa Bonita, even featuring it in a 2003 “South Park” episode.

Now, with Casa Bonita set to reopen in May, the restaurant is hiring more than 500 positions. And our curious minds couldn’t help but wonder what the job posting for a cliff diver looks like. So here we go.

First, the position is not listed as “cliff diver.” Rather, under the “Entertainment” section there are two options: Entertainer (Dry) and Entertainer (Wet). We clicked wet.

13 Ask Rachel

14 Free Will Astrology

15 Classifieds

12

Where art thou fun?

A one-stop guide to the wheres and whens of Snowdown rabble-rousing

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel missy@durangotelegraph.com

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STAFF REPORTER:

Jonathan Romeo jonathan@durangotelegraph.com

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Zach Hively, Julie Hastings-Black, Lainie Maxson, Jesse Anderson & Clint Reid

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332, Durango, CO 81302

VIRTUAL ADDRESS: www.durangotelegraph.com

15 Movie Review Haiku

On the cover

To start, all “wet entertainers” must submit an audition video displaying basic dive moves: a front (half, twist, pike, flip); a back (half, twist, flip); and inward dive (tuck, pike, straight). Easy.

Then, they must have at least two years’ experience diving at a school, club or competitive level (OK, we’re already out). Gymnasts and extreme athletes will be considered (if “quaffing” at Snowdown counts, we’re back in).

Additionally, applicants need a “passion for safety and following diving rules,” a “never-break-character attitude” and “the ability to know your limits.” Also, they must be “comfortable with portraying staged romance and staged combat.” Damn, we never had a chance.

REAL WORLD ADDRESS: 679 E. 2nd Ave., Ste E2 Durango, CO 81301

PHONE: 970-259-0133

E-MAIL: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

MAIL DELIVERY AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: $3.50/issue, $150/year

But wait, we’re just getting started. They also must have “the ability to laugh at the absurdities of life.” Ok...? Be able to change in and out of wet swimsuits quickly. Alright…? And, “must be comfortable with heights.” That seems like a given.

And that’s just getting the job. Once “landed,” duties include “creating a magical experience” with 1,500 guests a day, ages between 2 and 100 (who is the 100-year-old going to Casa Bonita?) and being in character for up to six consecutive hours.

Damn, that’s a lot of time in a soggy suit. But compensation, oddly enough, is pretty good, starting at about $52k a year, with benefits including health, dental and vision.

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, tacky singletrack or mon-

ster powder days. We are wholly independently owned and operated by the Durango Telegraph LLC and dis-

tributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

Plus, we imagine divers get all-you-caneat dinner plates and sopapillas, though we doubt that’ll maintain their divers’ physiques.

Jonathan Romeo

Local artist Jon Bailey captures the spirit of Snowdown/Whiteout weekend in SW Colorado.

Su casa no es mi casa

Look, I realize that vacation rentals – let’s just call them “Airbnbs” because that’s what they all are – are responsible for a great many of the world’s woes. These include housing shortages and jacked-up costs of living, gentrification, several Kardashians, the lion’s share of the endangered species list and methamphetamines, probably.

But they are still my preferred way to stay in a stranger’s home on vacation, when I actually go on vacation. In adulthood so far, this averages once each decade. Plus, they have kitchens. This is preferable to hotels, where I cannot even pretend that I will cook my own breakfast.

Not using the included kitchen that I COULD use is just one Airbnb perk. I’d like, for your vicarious vacationing pleasure, to declare several other benefits – unlike the apples and the baggie of ham that we did not declare at customs on our way home. We brought them along for the flight after not eating them for breakfast for a week. Then I did not take them out of my backpack before customs because I was hungry, and also because I forgot.

Speaking of hunger, let’s make you hungry for travel with these Many Benefits of Staying in an Airbnb.

• Ease of Access

After a long day of international plane travel, all one wants is to lay one’s head on another person’s used pillow and fall asleep so fast that one cannot wonder for long about how foreign head lice differ from domestic ones. Such was our wish.

We were in good spirits after traveling by car, plane, moving walkway, plane, bus, customs line, and bus to the one coastal town in Mexico that spring break hasn’t heard about. I was able to use our Airbnb hosts’ directions – and the knowledge that “a la izquierda” means either “to the right” or “to the left” – to guide our taxi straight to the front gate. The taxi drove off, and I pulled up the host’s instructions for easily and safely accessing our new home away from home.

“The purple gate will appear to be locked,” the instructions read. “It is unlocked.”

“It’s locked,” said my travel partner – let’s call her “Maggie” because that is her name.

I, being a man, tried the lock myself. It was locked. I managed to message our Airbnb hosts. I’m not sure what I wanted them to do, seeing as they were at that moment in California or some other place that was not Mexico, but I hoped it would be something useful. They, however, did not reply in a timely fashion.

So I did what any former middle school math student would do: I skipped to

Thumbin’It

The return of La Plata County Search & Rescue Pancake Breakfast (canceled last year) on Sunday, a great fundraiser for our local search and rescue team.

A new report estimating President Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act could result in nearly 92,000 clean energy jobs, with Colorado having the largest share at around 25,000.

What appears to be the nail in the coffin for the proposed Pebble Mine in Alaska, which would have had a huge impact on one of the world’s largest salmon breeding grounds.

the next word problem – the keys to the house, reportedly left, securely, under a cloth on a table by the front door. Unfortunately, the front door and this purported table were inside the gate, which had not yet been unlocked.

The irony of a gringo jumping a wall to get into someplace in Mexico gave me the boost I needed to do so very quickly and discreetly. Maggie guarded the luggage because she is scarier than I am, while I fetched the key. This was challenging, considering there was no key.

“There is no key,” I muttered through the gate.

“No key?” Maggie said back.

“No key,” I said. “Unless you can find it,” which, her being a woman, seemed likely. My whole life, women are finding things that don’t exist until I ask them to look.

Maggie passed our backpacks over the gate and then jumped it herself to prove me wrong about the keys. But the keys did not materialize. I wrote our hosts again, as timestamped proof that we were not breaking and entering in case the authorities ever got involved.

We made ourselves right at home on the rocking chairs on the patio and watched the sun set on the locked doors and welded-shut windows of this beautiful one-bedroom casa with well-tended garden and fully equipped kitchen. We laughed a little, we cried a little, and we got hungrier and hungrier, until I decided to jump the fence again and fetch us some food and possible camping supplies from the mercado on the corner.

While I was away, the hosts responded that this situation was very unusual and they would try to get ahold of Juan, the property manager. In the meantime, they suggested we dig for the possibility of a spare key buried in the corner of a flower bed opposite a radiant pink bougainvillea. We did not find the key, but we had corn chips, real Mexican corn chips, made with actual tortillas and not whatever comprises Tostitos. And we had a bottle of tequila from the highest shelf in this little mercado, which I ordered using my best Spanish pronunciation of the label over and over until the clerk understood my accent from sheer repetition.

We were prepared to hunker down for the night, mosquitos be damned, when Juan arrived with a hefty set of keys and a heftier set of apologies. “I thought today was yesterday!” he said many times.

Now we move on to the next Airbnb benefit: You get to leave public reviews. Beautiful outdoor space. Through the window, the kitchen appears useful. Clear directions and very communicative hosts! I already can’t wait to go back. – Zach Hively

SignoftheDownfall:

Mercy Hospital attracting statewide media attention for its ban on women getting their tubes tied, raising questions about reproductive rights.

Wyoming lawmakers proposing a bill that would ban electric vehicle sales by 2035. Freedoms?

A report that 25 people were charged with selling nearly 8,000 fake nursing degrees. That’s health care in America: fake nurses are better than no nurses.

Polarscare

Fox News imploded recently when M&M’s feminine “spokescandies” started wearing tennis shoes instead of go-go boots; none of Fox’s pundits could handle the trans/woke undertones. So, A&W tried to have some fun with it by making a gag announcement that their mascot would start wearing pants to avoid becoming a “polarizing” bear, but Fox didn’t get it and accused A&W of “bowing to woke culture.” A&W clarified that it was a joke, and Fox edited their headlines to cover it up, but the mistake probably happened because Fox News doesn’t know the difference between the right to bear arms, and the right to bare legs.

SoapBox

Housing for workforce

La Plata County is facing a significant affordable housing crisis, impacting the economic basis of the community: its workforce. Local businesses have felt the impacts of the lack of workforce housing, finding it harder to hire workers to keep our region’s economy functional.

There is a “once-in-a-generation opportunity” to address the affordable housing system in the state, as there remains $400 million in unallocated funding from the American Rescue Plan Act of 2020. The state of Colorado has released a report recommending transforming approaches to affordable housing. The report suggests a focus on increasing the supply of affordable housing, improving housing for working households.

The People’s Policy Project 2018 report and the Economic Development Alliance (EDA) of Southwest Colorado’s 2022 Housing 101 report provide actionable plans for meeting housing needs through a municipal housing developer (MHD) or nonprofit housing developer (NHD) model, offering benefits over yesterday’s trickle-down economics

and developer incentives. In the MHD model, local government entities, such as municipalities or housing authorities, take on a more active role in the development and management of affordable housing. This model is used throughout Colorado’s local regional housing authorities (RHAs). The model offers greater predictability of the number and location of affordable housing units. Additionally, the MHD model offers greater accountability and transparency. The NHD model has been used successfully in Santa Fe not only to create a large number of affordable housing units but also to greatly increase the capacity of the construction industry there.

Incentivizing private developers through tax breaks and other financial subsidies can lead to a lack of predictability regarding the number and location of affordable housing units, as developers may not always choose to take advantage of the incentives. Inclusionary zoning does not address the scale of the affordability crisis. Private real estate investors are happy with a very tight rental market, which increases their profits. Developers and builders have focused for too long on

the profits available for the economic elite, leaving the workforce, and thereby other businesses, out in the cold. A 2021 study of regional housing needs identified the greatest barrier to addressing housing needs: lack of/limited interest by the private sector to build affordable housing.

The EDA report analyzes the need for “below market rate” housing for large sectors of our workforce. It’s important to identify the income levels that are being served, or obscured, by unclear words such as “affordable.” Full-time minimum wage income is $31,200, translating to an “affordable” rental rate of $850 per month. La Plata County employs approximately 7,500 workers in retail, hospitality and recreation who need housing in this price range. Since the EDA report was written, Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has provided the annual adjustment to our region’s average median income (AMI); it is now $100,000! These signature industries need housing targets at 30% of AMI: below market rate. The EDA report states its goal is increasing housing opportunities for residents making $80,000 and above.

It appears that our RHA has undergone a significant change in direction during 2022, moving from an attempt to contract for expertise, to their efforts to directly hire an executive director, and finally to contracting with the EDA for administrative support.

It is important to evaluate the level of housing expertise obtained for the RHA through these changes and how they will impact the services provided to the residents of La Plata County. The benefit the RHA sought from hiring an executive director was increased capacity to meet the state’s goal of transforming our regional approach to affordable housing through the MHD model.

Now is the time to act to provide below-market rate housing for our workforce. I encourage the RHA to obtain subject area expertise and leadership.

– Laurie Roberts, Bayfield

RIP: David Crosby

Iron, scraper, brush CSNY on earbuds

Waxing nostalgic

– Karen Carver, Durango

Full-on nerd rage

Knight Fights a brutal, painful, awesome experience

by Jonathan Romeo

If you were lucky enough during last year’s Snowdown to stumble upon a scene in which a bunch of dudes in medieval armor were beating the hell out of each other and wondered, “What is this?” – you are not alone.

“When we start really hitting each other, you look into the crowd, and people are like, ‘Whoa, is this for real?’” Andrew Savage, ringleader of Four Corners Armored Combat, said. “It’s a mixed bag of concern and confusion. People have never seen anything like it before.”

And if you missed the event, but this sounds like something you’d enjoy watching, fear not – there’ll be plenty of chances to catch the modern-day knights whacking the crap out of each other at this year’s Shakespearean Snowdown.

“Until you’re there and hear what sounds like a car crash, it’s hard to communicate what this is,” Savage said. While the melee looks like complete and utter chaos, there is, in fact, a method to the madness. The sport (and yes, it’s a sport) is called “Buhurt,” which has grown into an international spectacle with hundreds of competitors.

For many, Buhurt combines sport, history and camaraderie. And make no mistake – this is no staged WWE fight. The blows – and the pain – are real.

“This is full-contact nerd rage,” Tommy Karcher, a combat fighter, said. “It’s ugly, and it’s a dog fight, and people get hurt. But there’s just no rush like it.”

A brief history of walloping

The history of Buhurt dates back to the 12th century when knights, apparently with nothing better to do when not at war, would fight in tournaments as a way to practice their skills, test weapons and entertain a populace that did not possess streaming services.

The problem, however, was that the knights kept killing each other, and that’s no way to maintain an army. So, the weapons were blunted, and over the years, massive tournaments would be held all over Europe.

“With a few minor modifications, we’re basically competing in the same event,” Savage said.

Modern day Buhurt (a French word that translates to “wallop”) traces its origins to Eastern Europe in the 1990s.

For years, Renaissance fairs and historical reenactments were commonplace, but people in countries like Russia, Ukraine, Poland and Belarus took it up a notch. They bought steel armor and weapons, and held full-on combat wars. The first massive tournament, held in 2009, was called “The Battle of the Nations,” and after word spread, more countries wanted in. Now, there are a number of competitions. There’s even a History Channel show called “Knight Fights.”

The sport further evolved in 2015 with the advent of

“Pro Fights,” which basically are MMA/UFC anythinggoes-style bouts. The only difference is you’re dressed in medieval armor and brandishing weapons that look like torture deceives from “Saw.”

Knights who say nee(d some cash)

OK, so does it work? First, you need armor and weapons, but not just any run-of-the-mill chain mail and two-headed axe. With Buhurt, there’s a strong emphasis on historical accuracy when it comes to gear.

Oftentimes, armor and weapons must be special ordered, usually from Eastern Europe. Armor can weigh 60 to 90 pounds (Savage said it takes some getting used to, but he plans to climb a 14er this summer in his armor).

“It’s like a firefighter with their gear; you train to become comfortable in it for a short period to accomplish your goal,” he said.

Any weapon of the medieval time is allowed – all kinds of swords, halberds, pole arms, axes, maces –

Knight Fights at last year’s Snowdown stopped people in their tracks, wondering, “Is this for real?” This year the knights in shining armor are back./ Photo by Adam Telford

pretty much anything you’d see in “Lord of the Rings.” Also, leagues require blunted weapons and set a max weight.

So how much does all this customforged, historical gear cost? Well, Savage said not much more than that new mountain bike. By far, the most expensive aspect is traveling all over Europe for tournaments, often hosted in historic castles. Hurts, donut

Speaking of which, there are a variety of different matches, including:

• Melees – when teams (which can range from 3-on-3 up to 150-on-150) engage in all-out war. Literally anything goes, with a few exceptions, like no stabbing or strikes to the back of the knee. The team with the last man standing wins. Savage said this is the most chaotic of events, kinda like football and hockey mixed with fencing.

• Duels – this is a more techniqueheavy demonstration, with point sparring and clean strikes to win. It’s very competitive, Savage said, and insanely exhausting. “It’s like Olympic fencing, but add 80 pounds of gear,” he said.

• Pro Fights – as mentioned above, this one is brutal. One-on-one combat with MMA/UFC rules, all with the goal of

knocking your opponent on the ground.

“It’s like watching a boxing match with swords,” Savage said.

You might be asking, “Does this f***ing hurt?” Yes, it does, those who are crazy enough to take a blow (not me), said. But, though bumps and bruises are common, the armor is highly protective, and serious injuries are rare.

“Sometimes you’ll get a spark in your helmet or have trouble getting oxygen, all while dealing with two people attacking you, and it’s chaotic,” Savage said. “But it’s a bigger adrenaline rush than anything for me.”

Just a friendly melee

Which leads to perhaps the most perplexing question: Who is crazy enough to do this? Well, a lot of people, it turns out, whether it’s gym rats looking for a niche competitive workout, history buffs or LOTR nerds.

“Everyone who dresses up in armor with swords has to be, deep down, a nerd,” Savage said.

Savage, for his part, is a martial arts instructor (and self-proclaimed nerd). He tried different types of fighting and swordsmanship, but it wasn’t until he found Buhurt about three years ago that he found his calling.

“It instantly felt like finding home,” he said. “The community around it is the

best I’ve ever seen. You can smash someone in the face, and a second later pick them up and give them a hug. There’s huge respect for anyone who does this.”

For the past few years, Savage (whose day job is managing a gym and bartending in Farmington) has been setting up a team locally in the Four Corners. Now, he has about 12 members.

Karcher was solicited by Savage last year while working the door at Lauter Haus Brewing in Farmington. A week later, he was in Durango for Snowdown in full medieval gear bludgeoning strangers.

“It’s infectious; there’s just no rush like it,” he said. “And it takes time to get the breathing right, trust your armor and build up the strength, cause it feels like you’re fighting in a different body. It doesn’t look safe, but it’s pretty safe.”

Shane Gallegos was approached by Savage at the gym last fall. His first impression? “It looked like the nerdiest, most violent sport there is,” he said. “I wanted to do it. The total chaos of the situation looked like the funnest thing in the world.”

Sure, other sports, like football, can be fun, but “until you have an axe, sword or two-headed weapon swung at your face,” you don’t truly know what fun is, he said. Gallegos, who runs a business development and marketing consulting com-

pany, is so sold on Buhurt, he’s training to compete on Team USA.

“This is one of the best sports, because I can go full-out, and I’m not going to seriously hurt anyone,” he said. “I get to punch people and hit them with axes and not get thrown in jail for it.”

Live carnage!

During last year’s Snowdown, the Four Corners Armored Combat team captivated passersby in the parking lot of Steamworks and again at 11th Street Station. There was also a legendary night at a certain DIY space with a punk band a lucky few got to see.

So, with the Shakespearean theme this year, it only made sense to invite the knights back.

Thursday at the ACT will feature some melee and pro fights (and even a lastman-standing fight among local service industry workers). And on Friday and Saturday, a larger tournament will be held at the Renaissance Fair at the Durango Transit Center. One melee will even feature a massive 16-on-16 bout.

“There’s that saying, ‘Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth,’” Gallegos said, “and with Buhurt, you actually need to do both – stick to your plan while getting smashed.”

Hmm, kinda sounds like good advice for surviving Snowdown in general. ■

bean

Pastries with a twist

La Bonne Patisserie blends classic flavors

by Julia Hastings-Black

What do you do in Durango with a degree in French literature? You master the art of “joie de vivre” and head to La Bonne Patisserie, 3101 Main Ave. There, you’ll find delightful fare and the chance to practice your French “r” (the one that sounds like clearing your throat) when ordering croissants, éclairs or tartines.

For those not up on their French, “pâtisserie” refers to three things: 1) the products made – pastries; 2) the art of making them; and 3) the place where they are sold. “La Bonne” is the feminine form of “good.” You might know the masculine form in such expressions as “bonjour” (good day), “bon ami” (good friend) and “bon appétit” (good appetite).

Fortunately, one needn’t know French at the bakery, but bring your appetite. Nestled between 81301 Coffee and Dunn Deal, La Bonne Patisserie is open 7 a.m.-3 p.m. (or when items sell out) Thursday-Saturdays.

When you walk through the door, you’ll be greeted and served by baker/owner Kate Naumann, who you may recognize from her nine years managing Serious Delights bakery. Unless there’s a long line of customers behind you, Naumann will gladly converse about ingredients, techniques and flavors.

“I’ve always had an interest in creative cooking and baking,” she said. “My grandma was a professional baker; she had my sisters and me rolling out dough since we were in

diapers.”

Skills learned at home and on the job were refined later when Naumann went for training at the San Francisco Baking Institute. Now, her menu includes small snacks, breakfast or lunch treats, and fancy desserts. There is something for all tastebuds – sweet and savory alike –and for most diets, including flour power or gluten-free, vegan or the omnivore’s delight. Traditional French offerings share the stage with locally inspired creations.

“My concept is to use European techniques with Southwest flavors,” she said. “One item that embodies this is the Torpedo, a red chile croissant. The spice level is mild and grows as you eat it; the earthy, smoky red chile flavor is right up front where it should be.” Also notable is the Chile Royale, made from red chile croissant dough and filled with green chile bechamel sauce, a little nod to New Mexican “Christmas.”

In addition to bringing unique flavors to Durango, La Bonne Patisserie is investing in regional producers. Apples, pears, winter squash, carrots and tomatoes come from Animas Valley farmers. Leafcutter Farms supplies mushrooms. Pine River Mi-

crogreens add a burst of color and flavor to some of the savory pastries. The bakery purchases stone-ground whole wheat and rye flours from Mountain Mama Milling in Monte Vista.

As new suppliers emerge and seasons change, so do the offerings on the menu. Sourcing locally is not always easy, however.

“I’m still looking for a regionally grown, high-protein white flour,” she said. “Eggs, too, would be welcome.”

So once you’ve bought your pastries, how best to enjoy them? If you wish to devour them immediately (and not get croissant flakes all over your clothes and car seat), ask Naumann for a plate, find a table next door at 81301 Coffee and buy a drink to go with your pastry. This is known in French as “manger sur place” – to eat in place. Alternatively, you can get your pastries “à emporter” – to carry – carefully packed in a paper bag or cardboard box.

Whatever you order and wherever you consume it – a pair of cream puffs for your Valentine or a mini quiche in your backpack on a snowy adventure – just remember to savor each bite.

(EiEither way, the answeswer is al always Nini’s.)

Family owned & operated since 2002

552 main ave (near the train) durango, co l 970-259-4221

Open Mon. - Sat., 11 a.m. - 8 p.m.

To

or not to bean, that is the question.

Kate Naumann

Tracking down a doppelganger

New mystery novel takes some very unexpected turns

by Jeffrey Mannix

We’re appreciating in “Murder Ink” this month a new book from London’s Gallic Books by the peripatetic everyman Charles Lambert. The name of the book, which was released last week, is “Birthright.” I’d rather talk about the author than the book, and the book, at 400 pages, is one of the few real page turners I’ve read and reported on in a while.

Lambert is a Brit who graduated from Cambridge University with words swirling in his head and travel claiming his thoughts. In 1978, he moved to Italy with no intentions of returning to England and obtained a job teaching English in a college where fluency in the international language was critical for high achievers. He then found a calling to teach about words themselves, and expressions and slippery idioms of the English language to advanced-degree aspirants at Roma 3 University in Rome. There, he spent 30 years at that job, traveled extensively over generous semester and summer breaks, and began to come of age with his own fiction writing.

With writers, it’s nearly necessary to know something about their history. Ernest Hemingway became a legend, because he was Ernest Hemingway; J.M. Coetzee, Graham Greene and Beryl Markham, just off the top of my head, aren’t that kind of famous, because we don’t know much about them until we are swept away with “Disgrace,” “Angle of Repose” or “West with the Night.”

And so with Charles Lambert, we need to know that he loved words, partied hardy and wrote books (nine) with the ease of a scholar and the insouciance of a vagabond.

“Birthright” is a magisterial, devious, breathless and sneaky mystery. No cops, no forensics, no car chases, not even a locked-room puzzle. Sixteen-year-old Fiona Conway, the cosseted, bored daughter of a wealthy industrialist and a graceful shrew of a mother, one day finds on her mother’s dressing table a loop on a velvet cushion.

What she found was a newspaper clipping of a girl that looked exactly like her “in clothes she didn’t remember wearing.”

Thus begins Fiona’s journey to find her doppelganger (I’ve waited years to use that word!), and therein lies the grand mystery: who is this identical girl, and who is the woman beside her?

Up to about page 170, “Birthright” was shaping up to look like a young adult novel, and I was about to put it aside, despite the compelling wordsmithing, to move on to another book. But it nagged, it cajoled with theatric paragraphs and cameos of forbidding possibilities. And it was seductive with the sense that this search for what must be Fiona’s lost and unmentioned twin was not going to end well.

Fiona was soon to become heir to her deceased

father’s vast estate, and with finding this identical likeness (I just cannot use doppelganger twice in the same piece) and having nothing to do but suffer the miserable British summer, she sets about investigating. Fiona first confides to her unapproving best friend Jennifer, who leads Fiona to her older brother, Patrick, recently paroled from prison for financial irregularities. The three begin to unravel the mystery of denial at every turn. Lives thrown asunder, the real mystery results in an embarrassingly mis-predicted murder, a clumsy cover-up and … Ah, I can’t say any more without a plot spoiler. And a good plot it is, which doesn’t deserve a leak of unexpected circumstances.

So that brings us back to Lambert. I see him as a literary gypsy and forever a midlist author for lack of taking himself more seriously. Lambert writes very well; it appears to come easy. He seems to have fun writing, so no need for the posturing and soul-searching. Lambert, I’m sure, would be fun to know and more fun to be related to. “Birthright” won’t hit the charts, but it could if Lambert stopped traipsing around the world, quit teaching for a paycheck, stopped partying, moved to New York City, had a couple of suits made and worked the publishing consortium.

You’ll like this book. You’ll lend this book. You can afford this 400-page paperback original for $18 less with your “Murder Ink” 15% discount at Maria’s Bookshop.

Thursday02

Tyrannosaurs – Meet the Family, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Farmington Museum, 3041 E. Main St. Exhibit runs thru April 26.

Janet Diaz’s “Hay Comida en la Casa” art opening, 4:30-6 p.m., FLC Art Gallery.

Bingo Night, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Leo Lloyd Avalanche Workshop, classroom session 6-8 p.m., field session Feb. 4, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. More info at www.thesanjuans.org

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Comedy Night, 6 p.m., Olde Tymer’s Café, 1000 Main Ave.

Ecstatic Dance w/Smiley Coyote, 6:30-8:30 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Songwriter Series, 7 p.m., iNDIGO Room, 1315 Main Ave.

Arm Wrestlin’ Tournament, 9 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Friday03

Horizon plays, 5 p.m., Mancos Brewing.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Ru Paul’s Drag Race Watch Party, 6 p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main Ave.

Little Wilderness, 7-10 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Ben Gibson Band plays, 7-10 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Drag Show, 8:30 p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main Ave.

Pole Dancin’ Contest, 9 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Saturday04

Silverton White Out, at bike and nonmotorized winter recreation race, silvertonwhiteout.com

Vallecito Ice Fishing Tournament, 7:30 a.m., Vallecito Reservoir. Vcsa-co.org

Purgatory Demo Days, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Demo the latest gear from local shops.

Snow Science & Social, 1 p.m., Andrews Lake winter parking lot.

Coors Light Party & Giveaway, 3-4 p.m., Purgy’s Patio at Purgatory.

RC Hall plays, 5 p.m., Mancos Brewing.

Garret Young Collective plays, 6-9 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

ShakespeareGrass, 6 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Punk show, 7:30 p.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave.

Booty Shakin’ Contest, 9 p.m., Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Sunday05

Veterans Benefit Breakfast, 9 a.m., VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave.

Winter Celebration, full-moon ski and groomer fundraiser, 4-9 p.m., Hillcrest Golf Club, 2300 Rim Dr.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Feed the People! free mutual aid meal & winter gear drive for homeless community members, every Sunday, 2-4 p.m., Buckley Park.

Happy Snowdown Everyone!

Be

Monday06

Meditation & Dharma Talk, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave., Suite 109.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Comedy Showcase, weekly, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday07

“Living With Alzheimers,” zoom talk with the Durango Dementia Coalition, 12 noon. Register at: tinyurl.com/yckkxu2y

Jason Thies plays, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Bluegrass Jam, 5:30 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday08

Paint & Sip Night, 5:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Ecstatic Dance w/Beat Kitty, 6:30-8:30 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

“Bears Ears: Landscape of Refuge and Resistance,” presentation, 7-8:30 p.m., FLC’s Lyceum Room. Hosted by San Juan Basin Archaeological Society.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Thursday02

Big Wheel Derby, 2 p.m., Balcony Bar & Grill, 600 Main Ave.

Rock, Pap’r, Scissors, 4 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Button Making, 4 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Name That Tune, 4 p.m., 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E. 8th Ave.

Snowdown Jr. King and Queen Contest, 4:30 p.m., Best Western Rio Grande Inn, 400 E. 2nd Ave.

Cocktails for Conservation, 4:30 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave.

Boozin’ Beacons, 5 p.m., Channel 37, 1129 Narrow Gauge Ave.

Fly Tying Contest, 5 p.m., San Juan Angler, 600 Main Ave., Suite 202.

Long Spoons Contest, 5 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Giant Jenga, 5:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Beer Trivia, 5:30 p.m., Carver Brewing, 1022 Main.

A Mid-Snowdown Dance, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dance, 3416 Main Ave., Suite 101.

Dodgeball, 5:30 p.m., Durango Rec Center, 2700 Main Ave.

Champagne Pong, 6 p.m., DoubleTree, 501 Camino del Rio.

Game Night, 6 p.m., 11th St. Station.

French Fry Fortress Contest, 6 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Beer Pong, 6 p.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Pinball, 6:30 p.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio.

Snow Job Blow Job, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Drunken Dictionary, 7 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

Knight Fight Night, 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Drag Race & Fashion Show, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Follies Gala Performance, 8 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Flip Cup, 8:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Pick Up Line Contest, 8:30 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Dance Party, 10 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Karaoke Competition, 10 p.m., 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E. 8th Ave.

Friday03

Scavenger Hunt, 10 a.m., Billy Goat Saloon, Bayfield.

Kan Jam, 12:30 p.m., Balcony Bar & Grill, 600 Main Ave.

Snowdown Tournament & Renaissance Fair, 1-5 p.m., Durango Transit Center, 250 W. 8th St.

Skyhawk Scavenger Hunt, 1 p.m., Fort Lewis College Clocktower.

Senior Bingo, 1 p.m., La Plata County Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Super Sexy Car Wash, 2 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Tallywacker on the Garden, 2 p.m., Carver Brewing, 1022 Main Ave.

Apple Bobbing Contest, 3 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

Explore Shakespeare Through STEAM, 3:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Hand on the Van Competition, 4 p.m., Grassburger, 726 Main Ave.

Chili Cook-Off, 4 p.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Rug Racing, 5 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Spaghetti Dinner, 5-8 p.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

Redball Express, 5:30 p.m., 1099 Main Ave.

Snowdown Light Parade, 6 p.m., Main Ave. from College Dr. to 12th St.

Teens & Tweens Dance Party, 6:30 p.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave.

Split Flipper Pinball Contest, 7 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Snowdown Follies, 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Videocast at Animas City Theatre.

Costume Ball, Post-Parade Awards & Balloon Drop, 7:15 p.m., Main Mall, 835 Main Ave.

Tortilla

Ave.

No Pants, Snow Pants, 9 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Silent Disco, 9 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Snowdown Follies, 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Videocast at Animas City Theatre.

Karaoke Competition, 10 p.m., 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E. 8th Ave.

Saturday04

Balloon Rally & Mass Ascension, 8 a.m., Highway 550 North at Lone Pine Dr.

3-on-3 Youth Basketball Tournament, 9 a.m., Durango Rec Center, 2700 Main Ave.

Foosball Tournament, 9:30 a.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

9-Ball Billiard Tournament, 10 a.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Kids Snow Games, 10 a.m., Folsom Park, 11 Folsom Place.

Kids Coloring, 10 a.m., Kroegers Ace Hardware, 8 Town Plaza.

Pet Photo Booth, 10 a.m., Kroegers Ace Hardware, 8 Town Plaza.

Kids Pinball, 10:30 a.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Shakespearean Preschool Soiree, 10:30 a.m., Durango Public Library.

Fly Casting Competition, 11 a.m., Park Elementary, 510 E. 6th Ave.

Golf Tournament, 11:30 a.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

Chili Cook-off, 12 noon, La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Bloody Mary Contest, 12 noon, La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Broom Ball Tournament, 12 noon, Chapman Hill, 500 Florida Rd.

Wine Tasting, 12 noon, Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave.

Tournament & Renaissance Fair, 12 noon-7 p.m., Durango Transit Center, 250 W. 8th St.

Slider Feast, 12 noon, 11th St. Station.

Canine Fashion Show, 1 p.m., McDonalds parking lot, 201 W. College Dr.

AskRachel

Weighing costs, smoker’s section & snowed in

Interesting fact: The first time smoking was curtailed in Congress was 1871, when a dozen eggs cost 30 cents.

Dear Rachel,

My wife buys a Starbucks every day for $5$7 a cup. I buy eggs 12 for $5. I have two a day with toast. How do I get her to quit ragging me about the cost of eggs? I sometimes eat only one so the dozen goes a few days more. Do you think I’m being hen pecked for buying eggs? The price of eggs is chicken feed compared to lattés.

– Hen Pecked

Dear Chicken,

You want her to stop ragging you about the cost of eggs? Start ragging her about the cost of her lattés. I guarantee that’ll change the focus of the conversation real quick. You may not like where it goes … but at least she’ll be off your eggs for a while. But watch out for your huevos, if you know what I’m saying.

– Bagock, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

So we’re back to smoking being allowed in Congress. It’s hard for me to cry too hard over this, since if we can’t get term limits at least

we can shorten their lifespans. Do you think this’ll trickle down to the rest of us too? I’d really rather not go back to smelling like my uncle’s ashtray every time I go out to dinner.

– Where There’s Smoke

Dear Fire,

We already DO have term limits: it’s called voting the effers out. Of course, that never happens, because we’d all rather have our own incumbent overstay her welcome than dare risk her seat for someone else. And for some congresspeople, the best term limit would have been zero terms. That aside … I would definitely worry about smoking coming back into public. The only things that trickle down from Washington are things we really don’t want anyway.

– Snuffed out, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

With all the snow and highschoolers who are mostly not working, how about shoveling out fire hydrants? Yeah, helping the city. They might even save a home when the hydrant is found. This would be a good project for the senior class to raise money for prom, other than a car wash or selling cookies. Or is this a violation of child labor laws?

– Frosty

Old English Insult Contest, 1 p.m., Durango Transit Center, 250 W. 8th St.

Invention Convention, 1 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1333 Camino del Rio.

Hula Hoop Contest, 1 p.m., Gazpacho Restaurant, 431 E. 2nd Ave.

Cat-A-Pult, 1:30 p.m., Durango Transit Center, 250 W. 8th St.

Limbo Contest, 1:30 p.m., Gazpacho Restaurant, 431 E. 2nd Ave.

Quaffing Tournament, 2 p.m., 11th St. Station.

No Heel Riser Skin Challenge, 2 p.m., Anarchy Brewing, 225 E. 8th Ave.

Book Games, 2 p.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main.

Whip Cream Beard Contest, 2 p.m., Animas Chocolate Co., 930 Main Ave.

Outhouse Stuffing, 2 p.m., Gazpacho Restaurant, 431 E. 2nd Ave.

Fashion Dos & Don’ts Videocast, 4 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Server Obstacle Course, 4-6 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

Build-A-Bong Awards, 4:20 p.m., Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino del Rio.

Giant Pong, 4:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Search for the Silver Bullet Award Ceremony, 5 p.m., The Garage, 128 W. 8th St.

Family Movie Night, 6 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 1159 E. 3rd Ave.

Human Hungry Hippo, 6 p.m., DoubleTree, 501 Camino del Rio.

Mario Kart Racing, 6:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Cards Against Snowdown, 6:30 p.m., VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave.

Snowdown Follies, 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Videocast at Animas City Theatre.

Best Chest Contest, 10 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Email Rachel: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Happy Jolly Soul,

If the senior class really wanted to make some cash, they’d say screw shoveling snow, let’s invest in some laying hens. For the low, low cost of their leftover vegetables (do teen-agers ever have leftovers, or vegetables for that matter?) they will have little dinosaurs crapping out golden eggs. Eight or nine dozen ought to pay for a corsage, a dozen dozen for a DJ. And it’s a pretty passive income, unlike shoveling, so they can actually … you know… focus on school.

– Cracked the case, Rachel

Snowdown Follies, 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Videocast at Animas City Theatre.

Karaoke Competition, 10 p.m., 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E. 8th Ave.

Sunday05

La Plata County Search & Rescue Pancake Breakfast & Silent Auction, 7 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave.

Balloon Rally & Mass Ascension, 8 a.m., Highway 550 north at Lone Pine Dr.

8-Ball Billiard Tournament, 10 a.m., The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Latte-Art Throwdown, 10:30 a.m., Taste, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Cornhole Tournament, 1 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

“Hunt for the Quote From Will” raffle drawing, 2 p.m., Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Frog Relay, 2-5 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave.

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Theoretically, you could offer to help a person who doesn’t like you. You could bring a gourmet vegan meal to a meat-eater or pay a compliment to a bigot. I suppose you could even sing beautiful love songs to annoyed passersby or recite passages from great literature to an 8-year-old immersed in his video game. But there are better ways to express your talents and dispense your gifts – especially now, when it’s crucial for your long-term mental health that you offer your blessings to recipients who will use them best and appreciate them most.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In esoteric astrology, Taurus rules the third eye. Poetically speaking, this is a subtle organ of perception, a sixth sense that sees through mere appearances and discerns the secret or hidden nature of things. Some people are surprised to learn about this theory. Doesn’t traditional astrology say that you Bulls are sober and well-grounded? Here’s the bigger view: The penetrating vision of an evolved Taurus is potent, because it peels away superficial truths and uncovers deeper truths. Would you like to tap into more of this potential superpower?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The ingredient you would need to fulfill the next stage of a fun dream is behind door #1. Behind door #2 is a vision of a creative twist you could do but haven’t managed yet. Behind door #3 is a clue that might help you achieve more disciplined freedom than you’ve known before. Do you think I’m exaggerating? I’m not. Here’s the catch: You may be able to open only one door before the magic spell wears off – *unless* you enlist the services of a consultant, ally, witch or guardian angel to help you bargain with fate to provide even more of the luck that may be available.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I trust you are mostly ready for the educational adventures and experiments that are possible. The uncertainties that accompany them, whether real or imagined, will bring out the best in you. For optimal results, you should apply your nighttime thinking to daytime activities, and vice versa. Wiggle free of responsibilities unless they teach you noble truths. And finally, summon the intuitive powers that will sustain you and guide you through the brilliant shadow initiations.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Fate has decreed, “Leos must be wanderers for a while.” You are under no obligation to obey this mandate, of course. Theoretically, you could resist it. But if you do indeed rebel, be sure your willpower is very strong. You will get away with outsmarting or revising fate only if your discipline is fierce and your determination is intense. OK? So let’s imagine that you will indeed bend fate’s decree to suit your needs. What would that look like? Here’s one possibility: The “wandering” you undertake can be done in the name of focused exploration rather than aimless meandering.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I wish I could help you understand and manage a situation that has confused you. I’d love to bolster your strength to deal with substitutes that have been dissipating your commitment to the Real Things. And why can’t I be of full service to you in these ways? Because, according to my assessment, you have not completely acknowledged your need for this help. So neither I nor anyone else can provide it. But now that you’ve read this horoscope, I’m hoping you will make yourself more receptive to the necessary support and favors and relief.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I can’t definitively predict you will receive an influx of cash in the next three weeks. It’s possible, though. And I’m not able to guarantee you’ll be the beneficiary of free lunches and unexpected gifts. But who knows? They could very well appear. Torrents of praise and appreciation may flow, too, though trickles are more likely. What I can promise you for sure, however, are fresh eruptions of savvy in your brain and sagacity in your heart.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your assignment, Scorpio, is to cultivate a closer relationship with the cells that comprise your body. They are alive! Speak to them as you would to a beloved child or animal. In your meditations and fantasies, bless them with tender wishes. Let them know how grateful you are for the grand collaboration you have going, and affectionately urge them to do what’s best for all concerned.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Revamped and refurbished things are coming back for another look. Retreads and redemption-seekers are headed in your direction. I think you should consider giving

them an audience. They are likely to be more fun or interesting or useful during their second time around. They may turn out to be better than the so-called real things they replace. In conclusion, be receptive to Plan Bs, second choices and alternate routes.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Author Neil Gaiman declared, “I’ve never known anyone who was what he or she seemed.” While that may be generally accurate, it will be far less true about you Capricorns in the coming weeks. By my astrological reckoning, you will be very close to what you seem to be. The harmony between your deep inner self and your outer persona will be at record-breaking levels. No one will have to wonder if they must be wary of hidden agendas lurking below your surface. Everyone can be confident that what they see in you is what they will get from you. This is an amazing accomplishment!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I want to raise up the magic world all round me and live strongly and quietly there,” wrote Aquarian author Virginia Woolf in her diary. What do you think she meant by “raise up the magic world all round me”? More importantly, how would you raise up the magic world around you? Meditate fiercely and generously on that tantalizing project. The coming weeks will be an ideal time to attend to such a wondrous possibility. You now have extra power to conjure up healing, protection, inspiration and mojo for yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Before going to sleep, I asked my subconscious mind to bring a dream that would be helpful for you. Here’s what it gave me: In my dream, I was reading a comic book titled “Zoe Stardust Quells Her Demon.” On the first page, Zoe was facing a purple monster whose body was beastly but whose face looked a bit like hers. On page two, the monster chased Zoe down the street, but Zoe escaped. In the third scene, the monster was alone, licking its fur. In the fourth scene, Zoe sneaked up behind the monster and shot it with a blow dart that delivered a sedative, knocking it unconscious. In the final panel, Zoe had arranged for the monster to be transported to a lush uninhabited island where it could enjoy its life without bothering her. Now here’s my dream interpretation, Pisces: Don’t directly confront your inner foe or nagging demon. Approach stealthily and render it inert. Then banish it from your sphere, preferably forever.

Come celebrate Snowdown with us!

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com.

Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via:

n www.durangotelegraph.com

n classifieds@durango telegraph.com

n 970-259-0133

n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2

Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Classes/Workshops

Yoga for Back Pain

4-week series, Feb. 16 - Mar. 9. Evidence-based practices to manage pain & recover ease of movement. Register at birdsongyogatherapy.com/upcomingevents/

CommercialforRent

1100-sf Office/Retail Space in Bodo Park

Ground floor with open-front floor plan & back-of-house space + 1/2 bath & kitchenette. Wheelchair access ramp & on-site parking. Short- or long-term lease avail. $1600 a month. 970-7993732

Wanted

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc.

at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-2593494.

ForRent

Furnished Studio Apartment in Town

for rent through Feb. $500/mo. incl. utils. Specula1@gmail.com.

ForSale

Reruns Home Furnishings

Brighten up your space with quality pre-owned furniture and décor. Lamps, tables, rugs. Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces … 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

New Egress Window

Brand new never used egress window for sale: Sierra Pacific Designs dimensions: glass 33 x 36 inches frame 38 x 42.5 inches white trim Wendy Stevens 970-903-7913

letters, blogs, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. www.the altymedia.com or email jnderge@gmail .com

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing

Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

BodyWork

In-Home Fitness Training

Get fit in 2023! I come to you! All ages. Diane Brady NSCA-CPT. 970-9032421

Discounted Massage on Wednesdays

Crusher Fat Bike - Now $425 2015 Sun Bicycle, 7 speed, in excellent cond. Barely ridden. Basket & kick stand. MSRP $530, now $425. 970-9030005.

Gordon

Smith

FibreFlex Longboard

A classic – sweet, smooth ride for cushy cruising. Been around the block but still in great shape. 42” long. $50 Text: 970-749-2595.

Services

Feel Better!

Professional hypnotherapy with Susan Urban, CCHT, HA, DM, 35 years experience. Free phone consultation! 970-247-9617.

Marketing Small, Local Businesses

Media, website building and content editing, copywriting and editing, news-

Clinical deep tissue massage, specific, therapeutic w/ mobilizations. 30% off for a limited time. Located at Mountain Medicine / Pura Vida, downtown Durango. 60 min: $63, 90 min: 87.50 Call to schedule w/ Dennis @ 970.403.5451

Massage Special

$10 off first time clients. Valentine’s Day gift certificates. Call/text Nancy (970) 799-2202/ Durango.

Lotus Path Healing Arts

Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

Massage by Meg Bush

LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-7590199.

CommunityService

Are you the parent or caregiver of a child 3 or under? Cafe Au Play

HaikuMovieReview

‘Nope’

offers a free, safe, enclosed, indoor and outdoor play area complete with toddler-friendly structures, 10 a.m. -1 p.m., Mon. – Fri., at Christ the King Lutheran Church. We also host a free Power Au Play from 10 a.m. -12 noon on the third Wednesday of each month at the Powerhouse Science Center.

Volunteer Advocates Needed

Do you want to make a difference in your community and the lives of others? Alternative Horizons is always in need of volunteers to staff our hotline. AH supports and empowers survivors of domestic violence. Training and ongoing support provided. For more information call the office at 970-2474374 or visit our alternative horizons.org

MOLAS Scholarship Application Now Available

The Community Foundation serving Southwest Colorado is offering a new scholarship opportunity for low-income La Plata County students, the Meaningful Opportunity through Learning and Advancement, or “MOLAS.” Applicants must be first-generation college students who are rising first-year college students in fall 2023. Winner of the scholarship will receive up to 85% of tuition and room and board at a Colorado or Four Corners college, university, trade-school or vocational school. The MOLAS scholarship is renewable for up to four years. Deadline to apply is March 1 and decisions will be announced in early April. Access the online application at: swcommunityfoundation.org/scholars hips

The less I say the better. But is it worth a viewing, you ask? Yup. – Lainie Maxson