The Durango Telegraph, March 14, 2024

THE ORIGINAL

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And they’re off!

A playful peek into the life of our newest residents

Ecstatic dance a safe space to get your groove on

Come as you are Cyclist safety from both sides of the yellow line

In the driver’s seat

4 It’s a tough job ... But someone’s got to live the life of a Durango athlete by Addyson Santese

5 And they’re off!

A hypothetical glimpse into what the wolves are doing now by Clint McKnight / Writers on the Range

11

Mum’s the word

Nashville funk, Native American flute and Celtic Fest round out month by Stephen Sellers

8 In the groove

Ecstatic dance offers a safe space to lose – and find – yourself by Ryley Hubbard

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Ear to the ground:

“I sat between my parents, in a theater to watch ‘Election’ in 1999, and we are all still scarred from witnessing the sex scenes as a family.”

– A cautionary tale about watching “Poor Things” with family members, or really anyone for that matter

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Addyson Santese, Stephen Sellers, Jennaye Derge, Rob Pudim, Ryley Hubbard, Rob Brezsny, Lainie Maxson, Jesse Anderson & Clint Reid

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6-7 Soapbox

8 Local News

10 Gossip of the Cyclers

11 Between the Beats

12-13 Stuff to Do

13 Ask Rachel

14 Free Will Astrology

15 Classifieds

15 Haiku Movie Review

On the cover

Yes, the Wienermobile was recently sighted in downtown Durango by our intrepid woman on the street, Jennaye Derge. For more on this exciting news, see “The Pole.” →

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Being frank

So, in case you can’t tell by this week’s cover photo, the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile (one word) is in town. And while we honestly can’t remember the last time we had a wiener (it’s been a long time), there are plenty of options for residents to get a taste of wiener life this weekend.

In fact, we have the full schedule of hot wiener action, which Wienermobile driver Aioli Anna actually e-mailed to us personally. Which pretty much means we’ve finally made it as a credible news source.

“The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is hauling buns to the Durango area this week!” Aioli wrote. Calling herself a “hotdogger,” Aioli drives the 27-foot-long hotdog on wheels with co-pilot, BBQBrady.

Which of course begs the question (two really). First: aioli and BBQ on hot dogs? We’re pretty sure people have been strung up by their onions for lesser offenses. And secondly – and more importantly – how do we get that job?

Well, we may never be allowed to drive the big wiener (just like the Zamboni) but there are lots of opportunities to ketchup (get it?) on its “meat and greet” tour de Four Corners:

• Thurs., March 14, Durango Walmart, 12 noon-5 p.m.

• Fri., March 15, Walmart, E. Main St., Farmington, 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

• Fri., March 15, Walmart, W. Main St., Farmington, 3-6 p.m.

• Sat., March 16, St. Patrick's Day Parade, St. Patrick's Episcopal Church, Pagosa Springs, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

“We would love to ‘meat’ you to chat about life on the road, take a photo in front of the ‘bun’-derfully unique hotdog on wheels and give you a tour of the vehicle,” said Aioli. While there was no mention of free hot dogs, she did mention that fans get a special weenie whistle to "relish."

The local Wienermobile is one of six that continually tours the country. And we can all consider ourselves lucky dogs – this appears to be the farthest west the Wienermobile has and will venture for the foreseeable future. Track the Wienermobile’s whereabouts here: khcmobiletour.com/wienermobile.

And given this week’s weather forecast, we sure hope it has four-wheel drive and heat so they don’t freeze their buns off and become a chilly dog.

Day in the life of a Durango athlete

Like most Durango athletes, my day starts off with a cup of fairtrade coffee, some light yoga to get the blood flowing, then a heli drop into a backcountry bowl with a name like Rambo’s Buttpucker or Corpse-Maker or Permanent Brain Damage. I carve every single turn with the grace and control of a Formula 1 driver, pausing to admire the sunrise cresting over the snow-capped mountains as I do a backflip off a cliff.

While upside down, I fit in a quick meditation practice, then land with the agility of a cat before skiing flawlessly to the base. Thankfully, a photographer is waiting at the bottom, ready to capture the majestic snow spray that surrounds me in a godlike halo as I come to a textbook hockey stop. The photo will win them the Sports Photographer of the Year Award and I will say something humble like, “They’re the real artist; I was just having fun!”

Now that my body’s slowly waking up, I rip off my ski shell like a pair of tearaway pants to reveal a sleek, aerodynamic skinsuit underneath, clip into my pedals, and set off on the Iron Horse route (which is really just a cool-down from my morning shred sesh since it’s all downhill). I zip past every car on the highway –because my bike is made from an ultralight carbon fiber frame with a phoenix feather core – listening to the wind as it billows through my perfectly healthy hair and lays butterfly-light kisses on my unblemished, glowing skin.

Before I know it, I’m already in town, but that’s the beauty of being connected to nature instead of zoning out with music or podcasts or audiobooks. Since it’s 6 a.m., I treat myself to a late breakfast of six handfuls of uncooked kale and an office water cooler-sized jug of H2O. Then I get to work.

Oh, you thought I meant work at a real job? No, no, no. How do you expect me to maintain this peak physical condition and my Red Bull sponsorship if I have to sit at a desk, pulling nine-tofive like some kind of schlub? My finely crafted muscles would wither away – slower than the average human, of course, and probably at a rate comparable to a champion American

Thumbin’It

Get out the duct tape and warm up those forearms, this weekend is the last hurrah for the Chapman Hill big rope tow, which is going to be replaced over the summer. Thanks for your years of service, Big Tow.

February saw the most reports to Safe2Tell, the anonymous student reporting system, in its 20-year history. While the increase is a sobering reminder of how much teens are struggling, it also shows they are reaching out for help, for themselves and others.

Thank you, Scarlett Johansson, for your brilliant parody of Sen. Katie Britt’s creepy AF Republican response to the State of the Union. Glad we were not the only ones who were disturbed by Britt’s unhinged Stepford performance.

thoroughbred racehorse due to my resting heart rate of seven and perfect BMI, but eventually it would happen.

I meant mental work. When I’m not exercising my body, I like to exercise my mind, reading no fewer than three works of classic literature per day. And I’m not talking about short books like “The Great Gatsby” or “Animal Farm.” I’m talking “War and Peace.”

Anything under 500 pages would be a cheat day.

With my mind satiated, I take a break for lunch. A few almonds, a wild-caught Pacific salmon fillet, and a mason jar full of homegrown bean sprouts are all I need to fuel up for my afternoon ultrarun. I decide to take it easy today by jogging barefoot to New Mexico and back, only stopping once to rescue a baby from a burning building since my reflexes are lightningfast, and I have the lung capacity of a whale. The firefighters want to thank me for my bravery, but I tell them I have to stay on track if I want to keep my Strava personal record intact. They totally understand. I make it back to Durango with just enough time to do 500 burpees.

Back at home, I go online for precisely 4½ minutes to share my thoughts on how e-bikes should be banned because they promote laziness, then I turn off my phone and put it in a drawer. I won’t feel compelled to look at it again for the rest of the day; social media holds no interest for me.

You could be forgiven for assuming that my next step would be to take a shower, but I neither believe in nor need showers. My body has acclimated to a near-constant level of sweat production, meaning I’ve developed a permanently hydrated layer that never loses its elasticity and never stinks. Scientists believe I’ve discovered the Holy Grail of anti-aging.

After gorging on an overindulgent dinner of air, I base jump from a 14er and sail my way to a local microbrewery where I drink my weight in IPAs because gluten has no effect on my temple of a body. I get into bed at 9 p.m. sharp and fall asleep by 9:01 without the help of melatonin because my circadian rhythm has never been disrupted by a screen in my entire life.

What can I say? Just another average day.

SignoftheDownfall:

It’s not like this is something we don’t already know based on the number of shoes we’ve wrecked with mud, but this winter has gone down in the books as the hottest on record.

Apparently, anti-vaxxer, QAnon-er and presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is courting fellow kook and former cheesehead Aaron Rodgers as his running mate. Wait … this might actually be entertaining.

Speaking of State of the Union addresses, Vladimir Putin threatened the West with nuclear retaliation in the war in Ukraine. He has since softened his rhetoric due to Russia’s upcoming “election,” so, you know, he’ll get the most “votes” and “win.”

–Addyson Santese

Total Eclipse of the Ark

Most solar eclipses are partial in that the moon occludes only part of the sun, thereby leaving a visible “ring of fire.” But the eclipse that’s happening on April 8 is a “total eclipse,” meaning those who see it will be plunged into complete nighttime for a moment. So, researchers have decided to spend the day at The Fort Worth Zoo to see if the eclipse makes animals do kinky things, because two tortoises started mating in South Carolina during the last eclipse. But really, it’s the “being kept in a cage and stared at” that made the tortoises do it only where the sun don’t shine.

by Clint McKnight

WOld stomping grounds

A hypothetical glimpse into the lives of Colorado’s new residents

hat was it like for 10 captured Oregon wolves when Colorado Parks and Wildlife opened their crates on a December day last year? The wolves had been chased by helicopter, drugged, blindfolded and collared, then moved to remote public land in northern Colorado. One of those animals might have had this experience.

The grey wolf in the metal crate tenses as the door unexpectedly opens. Through the bright threshold, he sees a field of winter grasses laced with snow and a line of juniper trees. After a moment, he bolts for the trees, disappearing into their shadows. And he keeps running.

Only after his captors are far behind does the wolf come to a stop. Panting with exhaustion, his heart pounding, he sniffs at the breeze and looks about. His pack – his family – is nowhere to be seen. He throws back his head and unleashes a plaintive howl. The tone rises and falls and rolls across the landscape. Its meaning could not be clearer: “I am here. Where are you?” But there is no answer.

The wolf explores, nose to the ground. He ignores a scolding raven. Of far greater fascination is the discovery of an elk bedding area. Pawing at the flattened grasses, he notes they were there just this morning. This is good to know.

Always alert, he climbs a ridge above a broad treelined meadow. He knows he must find his pack, but he has no idea how to start searching when there is no wolf scent.

The short winter day is ending. Now the wolf feels the full weight of fatigue after his sleepless three-day ordeal. He finds a shallow depression next to a fallen tree. He circles, lies down.

And the wolf dreams. He dreams he is running through a forest. Up ahead, he can just see the bounding prey he is chasing, but he cannot gain any ground. He yips in frustration and abruptly wakes to a pink sky dawning in the east.

A meadow below is shrouded in fresh snow and stillness. Then – a movement that electrifies his attention. A small herd of female elk is browsing among the trees.

He goes into a crouch and silently descends the ridge on an intercepting path. The elk pause upon

reaching the meadow, then begin to cross the open space. One of them has a hitch in her walk and lags behind.

The wolf immediately explodes into a run. Simultaneously, the elk launch into a panicked flight.

The wolf races through the snow-covered grass. As the paths of prey and predator converge, he leaps and seizes the laggard’s rear leg. She kicks, and he lets go. He falls back and is startled to see her stop and turn to face him. The ailing elk is already spent. He leaps again, his jaws clamping down on her throat. She stands for only moments before collapsing. In minutes, she is dead.

The meadow is quiet again. The wolf is suddenly overwhelmed with hunger as he tears into the elk’s belly, powerful jaws ripping open the hide.

As his own belly fills, the wolf feels the fear of these last days falling away, and in that moment he sees, among the piñons and junipers, a pair of eyes watching him. It is another captured wolf that had been released, a coal-black female.

She emerges from the shadows, head and tail down,

but walking without hesitation. She comes before him and raises her muzzle to lick the blood off his. He does not object.

He turns back to the kill. She comes closer, then pauses to weigh his reaction. There is none, and the black wolf eagerly feeds.

In the weeks to follow, the grey wolf and the black wolf explore their new home. When they hear the howl of another wolf, they reply: “We are here. You stay there.”

They find a location for a den and learn to hunt well together. In time, their prey will learn things, too, and both they and the landscape itself will be better for it.

As winter turns to spring, the black wolf shows signs that a new pack is being created. A family in a tradition as old as the ancient hills themselves – is being born. ■

Clint McKnight is a contributor to Writers on the Range, writersontherange.org, an independent nonprofit dedicated to spurring lively conversation about the West. He is a former national park ranger and natural history illustrator.

McKnight

One of the 10 captured Oregon wolves that were released in Colorado last December makes a run for it./ Photo by Jerry Neal, Colorado Parks and Wildlife

Silencing local voices?

Speaking for myself only, I sincerely thank our city councilors for stepping up to a hard, underappreciated, often contentious job, dealing with a mountain of administrative tasks.

Councilors, friends: you occupy a seat no one else can occupy now. Your choice to serve obligates you to a far larger role than you might prefer. You are more than high-ranking administrators – you are this community’s voice. No one else can officially register our community’s dissent of national policy, if you shun moral issues about operations of power playing out on the world stage.

Operations of power are inherent in all relationships. To date you have chosen to exert your greater power to silence the voice of our youth, who have only the power of protest. You dig in your heels while yet claiming to be powerless – bound by the kite string of your own policy – a version of shrugging your shoulders as you close your ears. I cannot accept this, nor should anyone of conscience.

What lesson would you have our

citizens learn about interceding with government (along with two-thirds of our general population who yearn for a ceasefire) – that it’s not worthwhile? That they have no voice in the operations of government?

While tens of thousands of Palestinians are being slaughtered, hundreds of thousands grievously wounded without access to health care, and literally millions clinging to life in the face of probable starvation, what are you clinging to? A slightly less onerous (and perhaps safer) job description? Except sadly – for all involved – it is actually harder to follow your path of silencing. You can choose a different route: resonate to and affirm the moral stirrings of our community. Be the Council who acts wisely and in accord with our rising young leaders –encourage their voice, their determination to act from conscience and within our system. Change your community gag policy and call for a permanent ceasefire in Palestine. Voices DO matter, despite editorials to the contrary – they are why we continue to make gradual social

progress carrying forward the efforts of past millennia. Be our voice, councilors. You have

Do not close eyes to genocide

Durango City Council has voted to preclude constituents from bringing requests for symbolic resolutions related to international issues. Melissa Youssef requested that the council adopt this policy after members of the Durango Palestine Solidarity Coalition introduced a resolution calling for a ceasefire in Palestine.

More than 60 U.S. cities have passed ceasefire resolutions. And all around the nation, these resolutions have been referred to as “symbolic gestures.” They are symbolic in the sense that local governments have no power to enforce them. Yes, it’s true. The voices of hundreds seem to hold no weight when it comes to our federal government’s decisionmaking. But in many ways, these resolutions are not symbolic.

For one, bringing the ceasefire resolution to vote is a way to honor and respect the lived experience, careful learning and embodied wisdom of Palestinians, and Arab, Jewish and indigenous people who consider their lives to be directly bound up with Palestinians, based on cultural identity, shared history and shared political struggle.

By refusing to hear such requests, the Council will save themselves some time. They’ll protect themselves from having to make a decisive comment about a controversial issue. Here’s what won’t change – more than 100 community members will continue to come out each week and protest, and bigoted and aggressive counter protestors with no connection to Israel will continue to accost and yell at members of the group,

calling Jewish members “not even Jewish” and Arab and Indigenous members “jihads” or “terrorists.”

Durango City Council, don’t close your eyes and ears, and establish yourselves as apathetic, unconcerned, cowardly. Don’t make the mistake of thinking about deaths in Palestine as happening out there, far away, disconnected from us. You may consider yourselves disconnected from the violence, but we do not see opposing genocide as “symbolic.” It’s real because it’s happened to our people, or it’s still happening. And it’s real because we are complicit.

–Adar Higgs, Durango

Celebrating women in business

This March, we observe the 37th anniversary of Women’s History Month, a celebration of women’s contributions to history, culture, society and business. Women have been the driving force behind America’s economic rebound from the pandemic, creating 50 percent of all new businesses since 2020. In 2023, women opened more than 1,200 new businesses each day, including women of color who experienced some of the highest business growth rates in history. This postpandemic boom has been fueled by policies that encourage new business growth and expansion. President Biden’s Investing in America agenda re-opened our nation’s economy, brought back manufacturing and restored America’s global competitiveness

The president’s Small Business Boom has transformed the nation’s economy and revitalized main streets in both urban and rural communities. More than 16.5 million new business applications were

filed over the last three years – with a record 5.5 million filed in 2023. Under President Biden, the United States has enjoyed the first, second- and thirdstrongest years of business growth in history. Between 2019-23, the growth of women-owned businesses outpaced male counterparts by an incredible 94 percent, with women now making up 39 percent of all business owners. Even more transformative, women are now disrupting traditionally male-dominated industries like construction and technology.

SBA data shows that women comprise 47.3 percent of workers and own 43.2 percent of businesses. More than 12 million women-owned businesses generated a record $1.5 trillion in revenue nationwide.

In fiscal year 2023, the SBA backed more than 13,000 commercial loans worth $5 billion to women entrepreneurs. After steadily declining between 201720, the number of SBA-backed loans to women is growing, with a 70 percent increase since 2020.

The SBA has built a network of Women’s Business Centers (WBC) to provide training, coaching and mentoring in communities across the country. Over the years, WBCs have supported more than 150,000 women entrepreneurs, which generated $1.7 billion in revenue and created 17,000 new jobs. There are Women’s Business Centers in Denver; Laramie, Wyo.; Salt Lake City; and Bozeman/Missoula, Mont.

During Women’s History Month, it is important to recognize the role women play in our economies. For more information, visit www.sba.gov.

– Aikta Marcoulier, SBA’s Region VIII Administrator, Denver

Come as you are

Ecstatic dance offers safe, judgement-free scene to get your groove on

by Ryley Hubbard

Within the crevasses and cracks of Durango’s social scene resides a peculiar presence: one of community, connection and release. It bumps vivacious tunes and dances barefoot on Thursday nights in the back of Durango’s American Legion Hall. It requires respect, yet doesn’t judge; happy to incorporate more color into its kaleidoscopic evenings. The phenomenon, of course, is ecstatic dance.

CodeStar, a local DJ and founder of Ecstatic Dance Durango, detailed its history. “We’ve been dancing since 2013,” he said. “The reason for doing it was by popular demand; people just wanted and needed it.”

According to CodeStar, the scene has been thriving since. “We enjoy as good of an attendance as cities that are three, four times bigger,” he said. “We’ve got great support in the community. A lot of regulars, new people, and people traveling through will come just to enjoy the music and dance.”

Cody “Coyote” Edwards, local DJ and co-founder of the weekly scene, explained the balance of dancing

closely while being cognizant of personal space and sobriety. “There’s no alcohol, no shoes, no talking on the dance floor,” he explained. “One of the more important (rules) is, if you’re dancing, and you feel the energy of someone wanting to dance with you, a polite bow is a ‘thank you, I’m good.’ It’s a polite way of saying, ‘I don’t want to dance with you.’”

The non-alcoholic event provides filtered water for dancers. Occasionally, vendors will offer cacao or other plant-based elixirs that provide mildly-altering effects. The choice for dancers to partake in plant medicines beforehand remains up to them, according to CodeStar, though it remains a safe space for those choosing sobriety. He said these guidelines help create a secure space for everyone.

“I think it’s a great little bubble, or magnetic weight, for people to dance around and fall into,” Lauren Hoover, an ecstatic dancegoer of more than two years, said. “The social aspect … is really warming. I hope people can come into the dance and then carry that out and spread it through their social interactions.”

Ecstatic dance can be traced to shamanic cultures that

utilized ritual, movement and ceremony to achieve higher states of being, i.e. ecstasy (thus the name.) These ritualistic origins evolved into today’s modern dance phenomenon, which came full circle on Hawaii’s islands in the early 2000s. This is something local ecstatic dance DJ Oliver Billint, aka Drty Hvn, experienced first hand.

“I started doing the ecstatic dance circuit 20 years ago or so on the Big Island,” he recalled, “which is known for being one of the main ecstatic dance catapults.”

Since then, the movement has spread, reaching New York, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Berlin and, eventually, Durango.

Before a recent dance in Durango, an opening circle featured a singing bowl and collective breathing. Event co-organizer Venus set an intention “to always connect to yourself here in the heart space first,” she said. “Only when you feel fully connected to yourself, do I invite you to explore extending yourself out for connection and dance with another.”

The crowd of 40 or so made its way to the dance floor, where DJ Drty Hvn began his set with a jungle-like vivaciousness. Sounds of birds, rain and lush rainforests

DJ Drty Hvn spins for a recent ecstatic dance at the American Legion. Drty Hvn, aka Oliver Billint, has been involved in the ecstatic dance scene since its formative days in the early 2000s in Hawaii./ Photo by Ryley Hubbard

painted the dancefloor, accompanied by low, steady reverberations.

The sounds escalated into faster rhythms and hauntingly sweet vocals. Dancers began capturing the beat. The room moved in a steady staccato beneath green-dotted lasers.

Even though there were no voices, the floor was highly communicative: eye contact, gestures and mirroring others’ motions. Despite the earthy musical opening, the set featured an eclectic mashup – from EDM to modern pop to Motown.

“Ecstatic dance has given me the opportunity to explore multi genres,” Billint later said. “Today I was playing a lot of different genres, I was hopping like crazy.”

The dance continued for roughly two hours. One side of the room was covered in foam floor pads to rest on between dances. In the corner, an altar adorned with mirrors, gems, minerals and candles allowed for self-reflection.

When the music settled into silence, a closing circle emerged. The debrief allowed dancers to put into words what was movement mere moments ago.

“I’d love for us to just really think about for a moment, what it is we appreciate about others in our life,” CodeStar started, “and how teaming up with

people is creating something greater.”

A dancer chimed in. “It is not in every waking moment that I can walk with my soul as freely and fully as I can here,” she said.

After the dance was over, the lights came on and dancers bopped around –embracing, connecting and sharing.

“I love the way this dance floor shows me intimate parts of myself in the reflections of the humans I dance with,” Andrea Dela Rainbow, dancegoer and event organizer, said. “It feels like a deeply healing permission slip to let all of me exist.”

Audra McClelland, also a regular, imparted her thoughts as well. “I find that I’m met by the community here,” she said. “There’s an acknowledgment of the full spectrum of human experience; this sense of radical acceptance that you can fully be yourself.”

She reassured those new to the scene. “Don’t be intimidated. Don’t be afraid that you’re gonna get it wrong, or that you’re not a good dancer, because it doesn’t matter,” she said. “It’s not anything like the bar scene or a concert. It’s probably unlike any other dance space you’ve been to. You literally cannot get it wrong.”

Durango Ecstatic Dance takes place Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at the America Legion Hall on 9th Street and 2nd Avenue.■

You can dance if you want to ...

Ecstatic dance isn’t the only opportunity to bust a move in Durango.

Sure, you can always go down to the Ranch and channel your inner Shakira on a Friday night. But if a more structured format is what you’re after, here are a few options:

• Durango Dancing, Fridays, 6 p.m., VFW – Organized by local dance instructor Ed Ferrigan, Friday evenings at the VFW feature Western Swing lessons from 6-7 p.m.; a “dance of the month” lesson from 7-9 p.m.; and open dancing from 8-10 p.m.

Ferrigan said he crated Durango Dancing after moving here a few years ago and realizing there were limited options for people to dance on a regular basis.

“Durango Dancing is a not-for-profit organization who’s purpose is to create a positive dance experience for the Durango community,” he said.

Folks can show up solo or with a partner and sign up for lessons and the social dance or just the social dance. To buy tickets or for mroe info., go to: www.durangodancing.com

• Fusion Bloom Dance Festival, March 22-24, American Legion Hall – The Fusion Bloom Festival features a full weekend of fusion dancing (more on that below), dance lessons, workshops and social dancing.

“I’m bringing dance instructors/DJs (and legends) from Nevada City, Calif., Albuquerque and Denver,” organizer JJ Simms said. “The fusion community is coming out!”

Just what is fusion dancing? It is described on the all-knowing Wikipedia as a contemporary, social, improvised, partner dance that combines different styles of dance and genres of music. “Fusion is based in connection and the freedom to improvise any flow of steps and movements that inspires you!” said Simms. All dance styles are welcome, including blues, swing, tango, salsa, ecstatic, country and bachata. “Each dance is a unique creation between yourself, your partner and the music.”

No partner is required, and all bodies and skill levels are welcome. For more info., check out Fusion Bloom on Facebook.

In the driver’s seat

Sometimes, road safety requires you to stay in your lane – and get out of it

by Jennaye Derge

Iwas riding my bike down County Road 250 the other day when a car passed me a little too quickly and a little too closely. I threw my hands up in the air to demonstrate my disapproval in hopes that they would see my full-body disappointment and instantly have a self-reflecting, soul-searching moment. I’d hoped they’d think, “Wow, I should really cool my jets and be more careful around cyclists and other vulnerable road users in the future. Thanks for helping me see my ways, kind, gesticulating cyclist. I will tell all my friends.”

But, of course, that likely wasn’t the case. If anything, it probably made that driver hate cyclists more. I know this because, if every driver that I shook my fist at had a life-changing, insta-learning lesson, my job here would be done. There would be fewer altercations, fewer horns honked and fewer close calls. I would witness fewer drivers veer into the painted shoulders, run stop signs, drive too fast and cut corners. Drivers would look less bored and more attentive. But, the sleepiness I see in the eyes of drivers when they blindly cut a corner into a crosswalk next to a school is terrifying.

I get it, many of us have been driving for 20, 30, 40plus years, every day, multiple times a day; it can get mundane. However, I still know to be careful when doing everyday things like cutting with a knife or to not lay my hand on a hot stove. Sometimes you just have to pay attention, no matter how bored you are.

I often say these things to my friends and any other interested parties; drivers are so rude and careless. Then, I got behind the wheel myself.

I hardly ever drive. I avoid it as much as possible because driving is angry, boring and traffic-jammed, and I will only drive if I’m going out of town or need to transport something very large.

A few weeks ago, I was driving out of town to transport something large. I was on an open county road while the sun was shining, and my windows were down. My music was blasting, I was singing loudly and there wasn’t a care in the world. I was getting close to my destination, so I quickly checked my phone for directions. I looked down for a second, and when I looked up, I was driving on the shoulder. My brain was buzzing: how did that happen so quickly?

I was terrified at the thought that I easily could have been that headlined news story – the distracted driver who, only for a second, looked down at her

phone and hit someone. I thought about that my entire drive back home.

A few weeks later, this week in fact, I begrudgingly stepped back into the driver’s seat. And within 45 seconds, I encountered a cyclist. She was riding on my right, slowly rolling up to the same stop sign where I was going to turn right. She was moving slower than I was, and for a moment, I pressed on the gas thinking I could cut in front of her and turn before she got to the stop sign. A weird animal instinct took over that said, “Keep going fast. Don’t slow down.” When I’m in a car, it’s just me and my journey; everyone else is just inconveniently in my way.

In a motorized vehicle, when you have that power and momentum, you don’t want to let that go.

I actually had to take a page from my own playbook and step on the brake to let the cyclist go first, before I could safely make my turn behind her. It took patience, it took will, but by gosh golly, I made sure I didn’t scare the bejesus out of anyone.

I know cyclists talk a lot of shit about drivers, and I know drivers talk a lot of shit about cyclists, but being both has helped me see both sides. No, it hasn’t made me change my mind about anything. In fact, it puts more fire in my belly to communicate with drivers about how terrifying it is as a cyclist to be passed at 60 mph with a small buffer between yourself and a ton of metal.

But, I get it. Driving fast with the windows down and checking text messages feels like it should be fine. So does cutting that corner really sharp because you’ve made that turn a hundred times, or rolling through that stop sign when you think no one else is around. I get how it can be perplexing when you encounter a cyclist, especially when there’s oncoming traffic. Hell yeah, you want to press on the gas to try to weave your way between the two just in time. Lord knows, slowing down to 30 mph in a 45 mph zone would feel wrong. I get that the urge is to keep going and maintain speed.

But, sometimes, it’s OK to make choices based on safety, not on what a speed limit sign says. Letting up on the gas to wait for oncoming traffic to pass or waiting to safely give a cyclist a 3-foot buffer won’t change your day or your life. However, hitting a cyclist, going head-on into oncoming traffic or hitting a kid in a crosswalk definitely will. And some of the other offenses, such as turning right on red without looking, running a red light, opening a car door without checking behind you, clipping a cyclist with your car mirror or turning in front of a cyclist could go terribly awry as well.

These are all bad habits I have witnessed, and I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say I’ve been guilty of them myself. So if you’re bored of the old routine, why not spice it up by slowing down when coming up on a cyclist or pedestrian? Take a second glance, make wider turns or, better yet, leave your car at home and fulfill your need for speed on your bike. Trust me, it’s just as exhilarating as having the windows down on a sunny spring afternoon.

Jennaye Derge is the director of Bike Durango, an organization that advocates and educates about cyclist safety. To learn more, go to www.bikedurango.org. ■

March of the Mummies

Psychedelic funk, Native American flute and gathering of the Celtic tribes

by Stephen Sellers

Greetings, dear readers! What a jam-packed winter we’ve had this year with truly exceptional local, national and international music performances spilling forth from every corner of Durango. The musical snowpack is deep, and there’s plenty more on the way this month as we transition to the liminal space between our indoor concert season and the landmark outdoor festivals right around the corner.

Pro tip: be sure to connect with KDUR’s community concert calendar online for a detailed forecast of what’s on the horizon. It’s an amazing resource. That being said, here are a handful of events that you won’t want to miss and that are quite representative of the thriving music culture we have in our humble little mountain town. As always, be sure to support live music, and I’ll see you on the dancefloor!

• Symphony Chaco with R. Carlos Nakai, Community Concert Hall, Fri., March 15, 7:30 p.m. - A unique masterclass in indigenous flute music is landing at the Concert Hall tomorrow, and I am extremely stoked. Maybe it’s because on a recent trip to Peru, I bought a wooden flute and immediately fell in love with its tones while wandering the narrow, stone streets of Cusco. Or, perhaps it’s in part because Andre 3000’s most recent album has brought the magic flute back into the zeitgeist after a casual 5,000-10,000year break. Hard to say. What I do know is that we are very lucky to have Nakai return to the Concert Hall for a special exploration of Chaco Canyon featuring photography and narration, alongside the world-class playing of Nakai.

• The Crooked Rugs, ORA, Desiderata, The Subterrain, Sat., March 16, 7 p.m. - It’s about to get very psychedelic and fuzzy at one of Durango’s most intimate and creative downtown

venues, The Subterrain. Fort Collins’ favorite melt-your-mind band, The Crooked Rugs – cast in direct lineage of Australia’s King Gizz – is headlining this triple bill of sonic sin and harmonic haze. Local support comes from the infectious indie upstarts Desiderata and desert-tinged space fuzzonauts, ORA. Full disclosure: I play bass in ORA. In fact, the band takes its name from my grandmother, Ora Marie Sappenfield Hanes. Hi, Gran! I love you.

• Here Come the Mummies, Animas City Theatre, Sat., March 16, 7 p.m. - This will be the biggest, funkiest party of the month by my estimation.

And, we could sure use a little lighthearted funk right now. Here Come the Mummies are going to melt Durango down with P-Funk era synths and basslines and a performance that will certainly leave you laughing and full of joy. This is a massive booking and will undoubtedly sell out, so don’t delay on snagging your tickets for this one.

• Durango Celtic Festival, various venues, March 29-31 - I got my start playing music in Durango through the Celtic music sessions at the now-defunct Irish Embassy over 15 years ago. I fell in love with the music as much as I did the community that gathered to

play, dance and make merry. That same community has grown over the years and created a beautiful festival to celebrate all things Celtic. This year marks the festival’s 10th year, and they’re pulling out all of the stops to celebrate. Joanna Hyde and Tadhg O’ Meachair, Heron Valley, Supertrad, The Jeremiahs, One for the Foxes, Dave Curley, as well as local supergroups Patrick Crossing and Kitchen Jam Band are on deck to bring out the Irish in all of us. If you’re looking for a family friendly event that features world-class musicians, as well as iconic, late-night jams, look no further. ■

A band that probably needs no introduction, Here Come the Mummies, brings its Nashville P-Funkish sound to the Animas City Theatre on Sat., March 16, for what promises to be a highly entertaining night.

Thursday14

Storytime, 11 a.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

Tea & Tinsel Thursdays, 12-4 p.m., Durango Sustainable Goods, 1259 Main Ave.

Live music by Justin Larkin, 2-4:30 p.m., Purgy’s, Purgatory Resort

Crafternoons (for Adults!), 4-5:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E 3rd Ave.

Live music by Rob Webster, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Live music by Leah Orlikowski, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Volunteer Informational Socials, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Habitat ReStore, 50 Design Center Rd.

Downtown’s Next Step Community Meeting, 5:30-7 p.m., FLC Center for Innovation, Main Mall, 835 Main Ave., Ste. 225

State of the Animas and local rivers, 6-8 p.m., Hillcrest Golf Club, 2300 Rim Dr.

Bluegrass Jam, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Live music by Andrew Schuhmann, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Agave, 6-9 p.m., Durango Hot Springs Resort and Spa, 6475 CR 203

Drag Trivia Night, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Friday15

Free Friday Yoga, 8:30 a.m., Lively (a boutique), 809 Main Ave.

Live piano music by Gary B. Walker, 10:15 a.m.-12 noon, Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave.

Fanny Pack Friday, 3 p.m., The Nugget Mountain Bar, 48721 North Hwy 550

Live music by Leah Orlikowski, 5-8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Live music by Jack Ellis & Larry Carver, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Pete Giuliani, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Public House 701, 701 E 2nd Ave.

Live music Ely Cartwright, 6 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave

Live music by Dustin Burley, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by The Brew House Bluegrass Band, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

“Facets,” dance performance featuring 20 Moons Dance Co. and the San Juan Symphony, 7 p.m., Stillwater Music’s The Lightbox, 1316 Main Ave.

Friday Dance! 6 p.m. West Coast swing lesson; 7 p.m. dance-of-the-month lesson; 8-10 p.m. open dancing, VFW, durangodancing.com

Live music by Tom Ward’s Downfall, 7 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., Ste. F

“Hand to God,” performed by Durango Arts Repertory Theatre, 7:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

R. Carlos Nakai performs “Symphony Chaco: A Journey of the Spirit,” 7:30 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC

Aria PettyOne presents Aria’s Pizza Party, 8:30-9:30 p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main Ave.

Saturday16

Rocky Mountain Freestyle Championships, 9 a.m., Purgatory Resort

Easter Egg Hunt, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Durango Harley-Davidson, 750 S. Camino Del Rio

Spring Streamer Fly Tying & Fishing, 11 a.m.1 p.m., Santa Rita Park

Durango Choral Society presents “To the Stars!” 2 p.m., Christ the King Lutheran Church, 495 Florida Rd.

Adam Swanson plays ragtime, 5:30-10 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Karaoke, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted

Live music by Black Velvet, with Nina Sasaki & Larry Carver, 6 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Pete Giuliani, 6-9 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, 18044 Co Rd 501, Bayfield

Live music by Matt Rupnow, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

“Facets,” a dance performance featuring 20 Moons Dance Co. and the San Juan Symphony, 7 p.m., Stillwater Music’s The Lightbox, 1316 Main Ave.

The Crooked Rugs, Desiderata & ORA, 7 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., St.e F

Here Come the Mummies, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr.

“Hand to God,” performed by Durango Arts Repertory Theatre, 7:30 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Silent Disco, 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m., 11th St. Station

Sunday17

Rocky Mountain Freestyle Championships, 9 a.m., Purgatory Resort

Community Knitting & Crochet Group, 10-11 a.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

“Hand to God,” performed by Durango Arts Repertory Theatre, 2 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Durango Food Not Bombs mutual aid and potluck, 2-4 p.m., Buckley Park

Board Game Sundays, 2 p.m., Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Durango Palestine Solidarity rally, 4 p.m., Buckley Park, 12th St. and Main Ave.

St. Patrick’s Day Live Music: Patrick’s Crossing, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

The Kitchen Jam Band, 5-7 p.m., Four Leaves Winery, 528 Main Ave

Durango Choral Society presents Wellesley College Choir, 7-9 p.m., Christ the King Lutheran Church, 495 Florida Rd.

Live music by Joel Racheff, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Live music by Blue Moon Ramblers, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“Facets,” a dance performance featuring 20 Moons Dance Co. and the San Juan Symphony, 7 p.m., Stillwater Music’s The Lightbox, 1316 Main Ave.

Monday18

Women’s History Month: Diversity Panel, 56:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E 3rd Ave

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing,

Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E 3rd Ave., Ste. 109, or online at www.durangodharmacenter.org

Comedy Showcase, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday19

Yoga for All, 9-10 a.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

AskRachel

Getting scammed on, pillow talk and cat calls

Interesting fact: We are supposed to replace our pillows every year. As if.

Dear Rachel,

I’m pretty good at spotting scams. It’s common sense. Don’t give out your password, the IRS would never call you on the phone, etc. But I’ve been getting hounded by someone whose game I can’t figure out. Not sure if it’s a long play on a scam or if I’m one digit off from her jilted ex-lover, but I have received a dozen rambling voicemails with the urgency of a spam but none of the coherence. Should I answer and have some fun? Or just block and forget?

– Spammed-a-Lot

Dear Redial on Speed Dial, Always block. Always, always, always, Unless, of course, you think you stand to make a great deal of money for a very small amount of effort. Those things are completely legit. However, what if this really is love gone sour? What if her ex is pining, waiting for the call that never comes – because it’s coming to you? What if … nahhh, just block and be done.

– Off the hook, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

We must have evolved for millions of years without the use of pillows. Yet now we can’t go to bed without one. No other creature uses

Yoga for Kids, 10:15-11 a.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

Bayfield Death Café, 1-2:30 p.m., Pine River Library Community Room, 395 Bayfield Center Dr.

Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted

Spring Equinox Gathering with Sierra Club and the Colorado Mountain Club, 5-7:30 p.m., Ska Brewing.

Slow Bluegrass Jam, 5:30-7:30 p.m., General Palmer Hotel, 567 Main Ave.

Life’s Ever-Changing Cycle with Brooke Smith, 6-8 p.m., Durango Public Library

School District 9-R Superintendent Karen Cheser, Rotary Club of Durango, 6 p.m., Strater Hotel.

Live music by Jason Thies, 6 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Live Music with Safety Meeting, 6-9 p.m., Durango Hot Springs, 6475 CR 203

Live music by Randy Crumbaugh, 6-9 p.m., The Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Starlight, 937 Main Ave.

one. Why do we have to use pillows now? Not asking just because I’m due to replace mine and don’t want to.

– Down with Down

Dear Head Rest,

No other animal uses shoes either, but here we are. Also, I beg to differ. I see dogs using pillows all the freaking time. Every chance they get. Clearly they love pillows. And since they’re our best friends, it stands to reason we would evolve side by side in many ways. Who cares why. All I know is a cool pillow is one of the few joys left in this world. Let me (and the dogs) have that.

– Dreamily, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

My neighbor’s cat has decided to make my home her second home. I’m cool with it. All the joys of having a cat, without the responsibilities. But now I’m getting attached. I get excited when the cat chooses to stay here. I’ve started shutting her in at night, and she curls up right at home. I’m not talking legally, but in the world of cat logic, when does her ownership get reassigned to me?

– Catherine the Greatest

Dear Cat Scratch Fever, This is the problem with every casual relationship. One person (and I do mean person) starts to take it

Wednesday20

Restorative Yoga for Cancer, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building, 20A. cancersupportswco.org/calendar

Yoga With In the Weeds, 10-11 a.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave., Ste. A

Junior STEAM Power Hour, 4 p.m., Pine River Public Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

Butterfly Artist Collective Gathering, 5:30-7 p.m., Create Art & Tea, 1015 Main Ave.

Women’s Resource Center Womenade Fundraiser, 5:30-7 p.m., Public House 701, 701 E. 2nd

Happy Hour with YPOD, 5-7:30 p.m., Zia Cantina, 2977 Main Ave.

Live music by Gary Watkins, 5:30-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra, 558 Main Ave.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Ongoing

Full Body workout, Mon., Tues. and Thurs., 8:15 a.m., Pine River Library, 395 Bayfield Center Dr., Bayfield

more seriously than the other. Of course the cat loves your house. She probably is coming there to piss off her real family. She gets showered in treats and affection without owing you a damn thing. This is perfect for the cat, imperfect for your broken heart. Before you know it, the cat’s family will start calling you at all hours of the night and leaving you incoherent voicemails. Rip off the band-aid. Put the cat out and never look back.

– Feeling Catty, Rachel

“The Return of the Force,” art exhibit exploring the influence of “Star Wars” on Native artists, FLC’s Center for Southwest Studies. Thru August 2024

63rd annual Juried Exhibition, guest juror Emily Grace King, thru April 3, Fort Lewis College Art Gallery

Upcoming

“For When You Get Lost,” Durango Film monthly movie, Thurs., March 21, 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Tickets at: www.durangofilm.org

Fusion Bloom Dance Festival, March 22-24, American Legion. Check Facebook for details.

Hollywood Huckfest, Sat., March 23, 8:45 a.m.- 4 p.m., Village Plaza, Purgatory Resort

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I will never advise you to dim the flame of your ambition or be shy about your enthusiasm. For the next few weeks, though, I urge you to find ways to add sap, juice and nectar to your fiery energy. See if you can be less like a furnace and more like a sauna; less like a volcano and more like a tropical river. Practically speaking, this might mean being blithely tender and unpredictably heartful as you emanate your dazzling glow.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some traditions tell us that the path to enlightenment and awakening is excruciatingly difficult. One teaching compares it to crossing a bridge that’s sharper than a sword, thinner than a hair and hotter than fire. Ideas like these have no place in my philosophy. I believe enlightenment and awakening are available to anyone who practices kindness and compassion. A seeker who consistently asks, “What is the most loving thing I can do?” will be rewarded with life-enhancing transformations. I invite you to do what I did, Taurus. Re-evaluate a task or process that everyone (maybe even you) assumes is hard and complicated. Perform whatever tweaks are necessary to understand it as fun, natural and engaging.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you have a relative your parents never told you about? If so, you may find out about them soon. Do you have a secret you want to keep? If so, take extra caution to ensure it stays hidden. Is there a person you have a covert crush on? If so, they may discover your true feelings any minute now. Have you ever wondered if any secrets are being concealed from you? If so, probe gently for their revelation, and they just may leak out. Is there a lost treasure you have almost given up on finding? If so, revive your hopes.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian poet Pablo Neruda wrote this to a lover: “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” That sounds very romantic. What does it mean? Well, the arrival of spring brings warmer soil and air, more sunlight and nurturing precipitation. Some cherry trees respond by blooming with explosive vigor, sprouting upwards of 4,000 blossoms. Maybe Neruda was exaggerating for poetic effect, but if he truly wanted his lover to be like a burgeoning cherry tree, he’d have to deal with an overwhelming outpouring of

lush beauty and rampant fertility. Could he have handled it? If I’m reading the upcoming astrological omens correctly, you now have the power to inspire and welcome such lavishness. And yes, you can definitely handle it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Speaking on behalf of all non-Leos, I want to express our gratitude for the experiments you have been conducting. Your willingness to dig further than ever before into the mysterious depths is exciting. Please don’t be glum just because the results are still inconclusive and you feel a bit vulnerable. I’m confident you will ultimately generate fascinating outcomes that are valuable. Here’s a helpful tip: Give yourself permission to be even more daring and curious. Dig even deeper.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Unexpected mixtures are desirable, though they may initially feel odd. Unplanned and unheralded alliances will be lucky wild cards if you are willing to set aside your expectations. Best of all, I believe you will be extra adept at creating new forms of synergy and symbiosis, even as you enhance existing forms. Please capitalize on these marvelous openings, dear Virgo. Are there parts of your life that have been divided, and you would like to harmonize them? Now is a good time to try. Bridge-building will be your specialty for the foreseeable future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many of you Libras have a special talent for tuning into the needs and moods of other people. This gives you the power to massage situations to serve the good of all. Are you using that power to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s a related issue: Your talent for tuning into the needs and moods of others can give you the capacity to massage situations to your personal aims. Could you do anything more to harness that? Here’s a variation on the theme: How adept are you at coordinating your service to the general good and your service to your personal aims? Can you do anything to enhance this? Now is an excellent time to try.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Psychologist Carl Jung said, “One of the most difficult tasks people can perform is the invention of good games. And this cannot be done by people out of touch with their instinctive selves.” According to my astrological assessment, you will thrive in the coming weeks when you are playing good, interesting games. If you dream them up and

instigate them yourself, so much the better. And what do I mean by “games?” I’m referring to any organized form of play that rouses fun, entertainment and education. Playing should be one of your prime modes! As Jung notes, that will happen best if you are in close touch with your instinctual self.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can Sagittarians ever really find a home they are utterly satisfied with? Are they ever at peace with exactly who they are and where they are? Some astrologers suggest these are difficult luxuries for Centaurs to accomplish. But I think differently. In my view, it’s your birthright to create sanctuaries that incorporate variety and expansiveness so you feel like an adventurous explorer without necessarily having to wander all over the earth. Now is an excellent time to work on this.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You picked Door #2 a while back. Was that the best choice? Evidence is still ambiguous. As we await more conclusive information, I want you to know that Door #1 and Door #3 will soon be available again. The fun fact is you can try either of those doors without abandoning your activities in the area where Door #2 has led you. But it’s important to note that you can’t try both Door #1 and Door #3. You must choose one or the other. Proceed with care and nuance, not excessive caution.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My second cousin has the same name as me and lives in Slovakia. He’s a chemical engineer. Do we have anything in common besides our DNA and names? Well, we both love to tell stories and are both big fans of the band Rising Appalachia. We have the same mischievous brand of humor. He has designed ways to use chemicals in creative ways, and I design oracles to arouse inspirations that change people’s brain chemistry. I invite you to celebrate allies with whom you share key qualities despite being quite different.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean friend Jeff Greenwald wrote the humorous but serious book “Shopping for Buddhas.” It’s the story of his adventures in Nepal as he traveled in quest of a statue to serve as a potent symbol for his spiritual yearning. I’m reminded of his search as I ruminate on your near future. I suspect you would benefit from an intense search for divine inspiration – either in the form of an iconic object, a pilgrimage to a holy sanctuary or an inner journey to the source of your truth and love

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check. (Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com

n classifieds@durango telegraph.com

n 970-259-0133

n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements

Friday 6pm Dancing Lesson at VFW Go to DurangoDancing.com to get on notification list.

KDUR is Celebrating 50 years of broadcasting in 2025. Staff is on the hunt for past DJs who have a fond memory, story or even some recorded material! If you do, please email station manager Bryant Liggett, Liggett_b@fortlewis.edu or call 970.247.7261

Classes/Workshops

Resolving Issues With the IRS Pres. Resolving Issues with the IRS presentation presented by Colorado Legal Services Tuesday, March 19th, from 5:30 pm -7 pm via Zoom. Please call 970-247-0266 for details on how to attend or visit www.durangovap.com/events

Wanted

Books Wanted at White Rabbit!

Cash/trade/donate (970) 259-2213

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970259-3494.

HelpWanted Massage Therapists Needed Amaya is hiring massage therapist part-time positions, must be available

weekends. Email triciagourley13@ gmail.com or drop off resume to apply

Do You Drive to Bayfield?

The Telegraph is looking for someone to deliver papers to Three Springs/Bayfield every Thursday. Four stops. $25/ week. For info., email telegraph@durangotelegraph.com.

ForRent

Office Space for Rent

Beginning April 1st in Colorado Heritage Plaza at 150 E 9th St., Ste 200. 305 sq/ft at $625/mo. includes all utils except internet. Internet ranges from $30$50/mo. Please email or call

Matt:  matt@homesfund.org; 970-2591418 ext. 4

Integrative Health Clinic

Renting beautiful office downtown. Patio, sunlight, reception with park view. 970-247-1233

Services

Boiler Service - Water Heater

Serving Durango over 30 years. Brad, 970-759-2869. Master Plbg Lic #179917

Grid Down Internet

Stay connected no matter what - Free consultation, installation and edu. guide.jt@gmail.com

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

Electric Repair

Roof, gutter cleaning, fence, floors, walls, flood damage, mold, heating service.

BodyWork

Rachel McGehee

Therapeutic massage & intuitive health consult. 23yrs+ of helping Dgo feel better. 970-903-0388

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-759-0199.

Lotus Path Healing Arts

Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

CommunityService

Nonprofit Professional Development

The Community Foundation serving SW Colorado is hosting a workshop to

HaikuMovieReview

‘Poor Things’

Delightful and icky Emma Stone deserves every inch of her Oscar

– Lainie Maxson

provide nonprofits with the tools and knowledge to thrive in today’s everchanging landscape on Wed., April 3, 8:30 -11:30 a.m., Durango Library. Learn more at swcommunityfoundation.org.

Volunteers Needed

Alternative Horizons is always in need of volunteers to staff our hotline. AH has been supporting and empowering survivors of domestic violence since 1978. Training and ongoing support provided. Next training April 19, 20 and 26. For more info., call 970-247-4374 or visit alternativehorizons.org/

The Maker Lab in Bodo Park Community-led nonprofit provides collaborative workspace, tools, learning opportunities and equipment featuring metal and woodworking, laser cutting, 3D printing, electronics and sewing. Classes for all levels. To join or learn more, go to www.themakerlab.org

“I saw it in the Telegraph.”