The Durango Telegraph, May 27, 2021

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May 27,2021

Vol. XX, No. 21 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Everyone’s a winner

Drying up?

Beyond brats

Everything you need to know about the $1M vaccine prize p8

A look at the dwindling last century of the Animas p10

Up your grilling game with pizza over the coals p17

2 n May 27, 2021

telegraph

lineup

4 La Vida Local

Cashing in

State sweetens incentive pot with five $1M vaccine giveaways

4 Thumbin’ It

by Chuck Murphy / Colorado Public Radio

5 Word on the Street

10

6-7 Soapbox

Running dry

9 State New

A look at more than a century of dwindling flows on the Animas River by john van becay

Ear to the ground: “I mean, I don’t know if I’ve ever gone to the Ranch and not regretted it.”

– Conversation between two locals discussing whether or not they would regret attending El Rancho’s 80th birthday party after a day of graduation parties

thepole

9

RegularOccurrences

Slip sliding away There’s something in the water. This week, the City of Durango announced the opening of the brand spanking new Wibit Aqua Park at Lake Nighthorse. Think of the interconnected series of blow-up play structures as a floating jumpy castle on steroids.

10 Local News 12-14 The Yocal

12-14

16 Top shelf

The Yocal

LPEA election, YogaDurango and Sage Farm Fresh Eats

17 Flash in the Pan

by Local First

18-19 Stuff to Do

15

20 Ask Rachel 21 Free Will Astrology

Bottoms up Remembering the river carnage of yesteryear

22 End of the Line

photos by Stephen Eginoire

23 Classifieds

17

23 Haiku Movie Review

Beyond brats

On the Cover

Add pizza to your summer grill repertoire with these easy steps

Local surfer Vanessa Taylor shows them how it’s done in Corner Pocket this week./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

by Ari LeVaux

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EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com)

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friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

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“The Parks and Recreation Department is very excited to offer this fun and unique opportunity to the community,” Amy Schwarzbach, natural resources manager, said.

The park is manufactured by German watersports company Wibit, which has built hundreds if not thousands of similar interlocking water features in towns and cities around the world, including Farmington, Ruidoso, N.M., and Ouray.

Of course, this much unbridled inflatable fun comes with rules: • All guests using the Aqua Park are required to wear a life jacket at all times • Children under 12 years must be accompanied by an adult when using the Aqua Park • No paddle craft allowed inside the yellow safety buoys • Participants must remove watches, jewelry, keys or other sharp objects before entering the Aqua Park • No swimming underneath the inflatables • No floatation devices other than a life jackets allowed on the Aqua Park • No diving or sliding headfirst off the Aqua Park • Shoes not allowed on the Aqua Park “Safety is our highest priority as visitors become familiar with the Wibit,” said Schwarzbach.

“Please follow the Aqua Park rules to ensure everyone enjoys this new amenity.”

The Wibit Aqua Park is open 10 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. Lifeguards are on duty.

The City also reminds users that the water temp at lake Nighthorse is still quite nippy – a heart-palpitating 55 degrees as of Wednesday.

For more info., go to DurangoGov.org/Lakenighthorse. Fair-weather swimmers and paddlers can also check out the live Lake Nighthorse webcam here as well as water temps by clicking on the “swim beach” tab.

Last one in is a rotten egg.

May 27, 2021 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal The white gaze of denial There is a line in the Propagandhi song “Victory Lap” where vocalist/guitarist Chris Hannah shouts, “God, are you there?/ It’s me, in the denim jacket./ Can you confirm I’m on the right g*ddamned planet!?” The thrash-punk song is a pummeling burst of anger and grief over ongoing injustices in this country.

And there have been numerous times when I myself have muttered that outburst, my soul shaking its fists toward the sky, especially in recent years regarding national and local issues. Especially as an Indigenous person navigating through the calamity of the white gaze that denies your humanity and distorts your voice.

To give a better understanding of the context here, it is worth going back to 1992, during the quincentennial anniversary of North America’s colonization.

In response to the growing Indigenous-led opposition to Columbus Day in the early ’90s, the faux-radical commentator Christopher Hitchens wrote a column for The Nation wherein he condemned the protests and bluntly justified the legacy and celebration of genocide that Columbus Day rests on. “1492 was a very good year,” Hitchens wrote.

Standing behind his White-Man-Knows-Best podium, Hitchens acknowledged the cruel injustices inflicted on Natives by the settler state. Yet throughout the column, he reminds the reader of internecine conflicts between Indigenous Nations, implying they are just as cruel. But unlike these barbaric warring tribes, Hitchens goes on to state that the European plunder of Native North America “inaugurated a nearly boundless epoch of opportunity and innovation, and thus deserves to be celebrated with great vim and gusto.”

Nearly 30 years later, one would hope such regressive views are no longer paraded around in public. Yet, to name one example, we have Rick Santorum to remind us the more things change, the more they stay the same.

The CNN yokel recently stood before the Pat Sajakfunded Right-Wing think tank, Young America’s Foundation. With the same bluster of Hitchens, he told the audience, “We came here and created a blank slate. We birthed a nation from nothing … I mean, yes, we have Native Americans, but, candidly, there isn’t much Native American culture in American culture.”

Perhaps there is an unsettling aspect of truth to these mindless statements. When one looks at the carnage and aftermath of European colonization in North America – the “American Holocaust” as historian David Stannard called it – in the most ruthless way, one could refer to it as the creation of a “blank slate.”

And traditionally, many Indigenous Nations have innately structured societies along matrilineal or egalitarian lines. This emphasizes a holistic sense of being with one another and the land, a form of communalism that is a world away from masochistic American sensibilities of “rugged individualism” and the hunger for private property.

Historically, any possibility of Native American culture influencing American culture has always been pre-emptively suppressed. One only needs to refer to the General Allotment Act in the late 1880s to see this sinister strategy at play. John Oberly, the commissioner of Indian Affairs at the time, stated in a report that Natives “must be imbued with the exalting egotism of American civilization so that he will say ‘I’ instead of ‘We,’ and ‘This is mine’ instead of ‘This is ours.’”

And yet, before such bureaucratic forces were created to enact Indigenous erasure, it should be acknowledged that in the early days of the American Empire, Benjamin Franklin, among others, was captivated with the governmental structure of the Six Nations Confederacy in the Northeast. The Onondaga Chief Canasatego advised early colonists to follow their model of a federal system if they wanted to persevere as a nation.

Maybe it is an unsettling thought for Santorum, but a trace of Indigenous influence is imbued in the blueprint of this republic.

Then again, powerful white folks like Santorum have the benefit of denying the reality of history, and the reality of reality.

The denialism of Indigenous humanity also exists in our own community. Outside the Toh-Atin Art Gallery in downtown Durango, a grotesque racist statue still remains standing despite the criticisms and concerns from many in the Indigenous community. Dialogue between the business owners and Native organizers over how to ameliorate the situation appear to have come to a standstill for the time being.

In a recent op-ed in the Durango Herald that evokes the same patronizing tone as Hitchens and Santorum, Antonia Clark, coowner of the gallery wrote, “We are sorry if our sign offends some people, but … Native people are facing many serious issues. Our sign is not the highest priority.”

The op-ed is a clever attempt at obfuscation, admonishing outspoken Natives for this impasse, while reminding readers of their white-savior complex through all their charity to Native peoples.

The implication being such benevolent use of wealth should absolve the business of any accountability regarding the statue.

When folks with privilege attempt to discredit legitimate concerns and demands from Native voices by flaunting the charity in their checkbooks, I am reminded of what Indigenous writer Eduardo Galeano once said. “I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is vertical, so it's humiliating. It goes from top to bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the other and learns from the other.”

For all the Indigenous-focused work that gallery owners speak of, one would think honoring the demands to remove the statue would fall in line with those acts.

Until that happens, the proprietors are clearly lacking a sincere spirit of solidarity, and it is as obvious as a crude racist statue sitting out in broad daylight.

The white gaze of denialism and delusion will continue to persist. Yet it is inevitable that such views will become helpless driftwood, floating in a tide carried by Indigenous voices and movements rising up to reclaim what has been lost and stolen for centuries. In time, the waves of history will leave these variegated regressive voices of whiteness stranded on an island, devoid of any future, clinging to a mirage of the past.

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It

4 n May 27, 2021

Catching Satire

Easing of the pandemic to allow for a somewhat normal graduation for DHS seniors this week after a tumultuous and disappointing final two years of school

Pandemic-caused supply issues causing a huge spike in lumber prices, with the cost of boards up more than 430 percent since January 2020

The country ahead of vaccination goals, with 50 percent of American adults fully vaccinated, more than a month ahead of the July 4 schedule originally laid out

The Varroa destructor, a deadly honeybee parasite that can kill off entire hives, found in La Plata County

A peaceful celebration and commemoration of George Floyd’s death in Minneapolis, a year after he was murdered by police spurring several weeks of violence in cities across the country

– Kirbie Bennet

A drunken New Mexico man allegedly pointing a gun at a group of people outside a downtown bar last Saturday and threatening to “shoot up the place”

telegraph

As I’m sure you’ve heard, it was announced this week by Gov. Polis that Colorado will award $5 million– $1 million each to five winners – via lottery to Coloradans if they’re vaccinated by June 1. But of course, he quoted Hunger Games during the announcement by saying, “may the odds be ever in your favor,” which has surely given the conspiracy theorists conniption fits, especially since Denver is The Capitol in the books. However, it’s the least they deserve given that it’s their fault we have to offer people $1 million just to get vaccinated and not die.

WordontheStreet

Q

“Buds on the trees and a rising of the river.”

With the unofficial start to the season this Memorial Day,

the Telegraph asked, “What signs of summer have you seen?”

Alisa

“Snow and sun on the same day.”

Mike

“People eating ice cream on the street."

Cristy

“Flip flops and painted toenails.”

“Orange poppies blooming everywhere.”

Kristi

Cindy Lou

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May 27, 2021 n

5

SoapBox

ToonedUp/by Kayla Shaggy

Ted has eye for tech, bottom line Ted Compton will get my vote for La Plata Electric Coop Board of Directors District 3 (Durango). Ted has the technical education – dual degrees in engineering; leadership experience – a professional energy executive; history – four generations in La Plata County; and future-looking passion for the work of energy delivery.

Ted is focused on ending our reliance on Tri-State’s polluting sources, while balancing reliability, affordability and bringing clean energy generation closer to home. This would result in high-paying local jobs and investments in broadband, electric vehicles and battery storage.

Ted is an unaffiliated voter acting with non-partisan issue-based decision making. His varied community service includes board membership of Fast Track Broadband and La Plata Open Space Conservancy. As a team member with Colorado Advanced Industries Grant Program, he has helped bring $2 million in new technology investment to Durango.

Ted will carry the substantial progress of LPEA forward with one eye on the bottom-line and one eye on the technology. What more could our citizenry want in an LPEA Board Director? Join me in voting for Ted Compton, LPEA Board of Directors.

– Kathleen Adams, Durango

Doing what’s best for LPEA When a large nonprofit endorses and funds a campaign for candidates in the LPEA elections, that seems corrupt to me. It may be legal, but it’s not fair, and 4

6 n May 27, 2021

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that’s what San Juan Citizens Alliance (SJCA) has done for years. According to the LPEA website in 2020, SJCA put close to $20,000 into three campaigns they endorsed.

What kind of favoritism do they expect in return? I think these are funded by special interest people that expect to get a return on their investment.

It is illegal to do this in a political race, so why is it right to do it in an LPEA election? When these candidates win, they are bought and paid for in my opinion. It makes it very difficult for a little guy to win. Ask the candidates in your district if they accept donations and how much from SJCA. The question is whether those candidates who are bought and paid for by SJCA will make the best decisions on behalf of LPEA’s 35,000 members or will they act on behalf of SJCA. I know from experience that LPEA cannot purchase renewable energy as cheap as TriState can because of their size.

I am endorsing Bill Waters in District 3, John Purser in District 4, Kohler McInnis from District 2 and Veronica Medina in District 1. They have assured me they have not accepted any funds from SJCA. I know they have integrity and will do what’s best for LPEA as a whole.

– Davin Montoya, Hesperus

Ted thoughtful, trustworthy Ted Compton will make an excellent LPEA Board member. As a former nine-year LPEA Board member, former Tri-State Vice Chairman and current FastTrack Chairman of the Board of Directors, I know Ted will make an outstanding LPEA Board member. I have worked with Ted for seven years on the FastTrack board, where he is currently the Vice Chairman and an active member of the finance committee. Ted strategically focuses on Fast Track’s long-term vision in order to stay in front of developing technologies while ensuring our strong financial footing. Equally important, Ted respects all board members and earns their respect in re-

turn. Ted has my trust. He is a thoughtful and allaround good person. I can’t imagine a more qualified candidate for the LPEA Board, and I strongly support Ted’s candidacy. Please vote for Ted Compton for LPEA District 3.

– Joe Wheeling, Durango

Keeping broadband on track Tim Wheeler is the District 4 incumbent in LPEA's upcoming Board election. He is really sharp on all the key issues that LPEA faces and is forward looking in trying to shape policies for LPEA that will benefit ALL the members.

One key issue that he has been very involved with and that I feel is critical to our community is the role LPEA should play in expanding broadband access in LPEA's mostly rural service area. The pandemic we have all been living through shows just how important better and more affordable broadband access is to our future community well-being. LPEA should consider playing a key role in bringing better broadband to our area, in the same way it played a crucial role in bringing electricity to our rural community over 80 years ago when for-profit companies would not make the necessary investments.

Tim Wheeler has been a key member on the LPEA Broadband Committee and LPEA's representative to its broadband subsidiary, FastTrack Communications. We need to keep him on the LPEA Board to ensure his deep knowledge and leadership on broadband is retained. Please vote to re-elect Tim Wheeler to the LPEA Board.

– Deb Paulson, Durango

Wheeler will take on Tri-State Let’s examine what’s at stake in LPEA Board of Directors election. LPEA is currently locked in to a taxing wholesale contract with regional power cooperative Tri-

State, which will last another 29 years. This contract stipulates that LPEA cannot obtain more than 5 percent of its electric needs from local sources, which means we are sending 65 cents of every dollar we spend on wholesale power to Denver. This limitation on our ability to produce local, sustainable power does not serve our community; instead, it undermines our autonomy by preventing us from charting our own cleaner and lessexpensive course.

Don’t take my word for it: other regional electric cooperatives have come to the same realization. Kit Carson Energy in Taos, N.M., exited its Tri-State contract and recently announced it will reach its goal of meeting 100 percent of its daytime electricity needs entirely with solar generation. DMEA in Montrose, which exited its Tri-State contract in July 2020, announced this week an 80MW solar development project that will provide 20 percent of the coop’s power from local generation.

This is why I encourage voters to mark their ballots to re-elect Tim Wheeler (District 4). We need him on the LPEA Board because he has shown himself willing to challenge the Tri-State contract and make wise decisions to invest in our local community and in LPEA’s members best interests.

– Karen Pontius, Durango

“We’ll print damned-near anything” The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We offer this forum to the public to settle differences, air opinions & undertake healthy discourse. We have only three requests: limit letters to 750 words, letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome. Send your insights by Tuesday at noon to: PO Box 332, Durango, 81302 or e-mail your profundities to: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com. Let the games begin ...

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8 n May 27, 2021

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StateNews

Vaccining for dollars Everything you wanted to know about Colorado’s $1M drawings

by Chuck Murphy Colorado Public Radio

Writing in Alignment

C

olorado will award $1 million each week in June to five lucky COVID-19 vaccine recipients, part of a growing number of states trying to reverse declining vaccine interest through giveaways.

Gov. Jared Polis announced the drawing Tuesday after hinting last week that something like this might be coming.

The money will come out of the marketing and promotion budget for the vaccine program, and Polis said he believes it will be a better use of the $5 million.

“We feel it will have a bigger impact on driving vaccination than if we were running TV ads saying to get vaccinated,” Polis said. “And best of all, the benefit goes to five lucky Coloradans who did the right thing and protected themselves.”

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But wait! That’s not all San Juan Basin Public Health and the Durango Business Improvement District is sweetening the vaccine incentive pot by offering “Our Shot Rewards,” a coupon sheet worth $80 in savings or free swag from local businesses for people getting vaccinated. SJBH has several upcoming vaccine clinics. For a list of local vaccine clinics or to sign up for a shot, go to: sjbpublichealth.org/covid-19-vaccine/ Oregon, New York and Maryland have followed Ohio’s lead in setting up drawings like the one Colorado is now planning. In Ohio, the day before their $1 million drawing was announced, 13,928 people were vaccinated. The day after, 32,754 lined up for a shot. The daily number of those vaccinated there has stayed elevated but remained far below the March and April peaks when more than 100,000 per day were seeking vaccines.

Colorado has experienced a similar decline in vaccine interest, which Polis is hoping to goose with the drawings.

“We have seen this kind of drawing work in states like Ohio, where they saw a surge in interest,” Polis said. “And we expect that we'll see the same thing here. All you have to do to enter is get vaccinated.”

Following are answers to a few FAQs on the program: • Where is the money coming from? It will come from the advertising and marketing funds given to the state by the federal government’s CARES Act, designed to encourage vaccination against COVID-19.

• How many drawings are there?

There will be five weekly drawings on Fridays, starting June 4. Everyone 18 and older who has already been vaccinated, or gets vaccinated at least by the Tuesday before

Gov. Polis announced Tues., May 25, that Colorado will award $1 million each week beginning June 4 to five lucky COVID-19 vaccine recipients./ Photo by John Daley/CPR News the drawing will be automatically entered.

• Will the names of the winners be made public? Yes. The point is to generate interest in vaccines by showing off the people who got vaccinated and then won $1 million. To get the money, you have to agree to the release of your identity – but not anything else beyond the fact that you got vaccinated.

• How will you know if you win?

When you make an appointment to get vaccinated, or when you enroll at a walk-in site, some contact information and demographic information about you is collected.

That will be used to contact you if you win the $1 million.

• How are you entered? If you've already been vaccinated, you will be automatically entered via the Colorado Immunization Information System. If you were part of a vaccine trial and got the vaccine, you will also be entered.

• How is the state protecting privacy? The Colorado Lottery will assign a random number to your name, and one of those numbers will be drawn each week.

Only the person whose number is drawn will be contacted and will have a chance to decline the $1 million or agree to take it and have their identity revealed.

• Were people entered into a lottery against religious objections?

Polis went to some lengths to point out this is a drawing, not a lottery, and no one had to pay or put up anything in order to participate. And no one will be forced to take the money.

• Can you opt out of the drawing when you get your vaccine? No – if

you get the vaccine, you are entered for the drawing. But, if you win, you can turn it down.

• What are the odds of winning?

Polis estimated about 1 in 500,000 • Am I eligible if I only received one dose? One dose is enough to be entered. Getting the second dose will provide you full protection from COVID-19, but it will not get you a second entry.

• What if I got vaccinated through my employer – not at a clinic, pharmacy or medical facility? Your information still should have been entered into the state vaccine database, and you are therefore eligible.

• What if I haven’t been vaccinated yet? You have until midnight on the Tuesday of each week to get at least one dose of vaccine in order to be eligible for that Friday’s drawing.

• How does the scholarship contest work? The scholarship prize will be for those Coloradans ages 12 to 17 who are eligible for vaccine, but not for the $1 million drawing. More details will be announced later this week by the Colorado Department of Higher Education.

• If I got vaccinated through the Indian Health Services, am I eligible?

Yes, as long as you are a Colorado resident and were vaccinated in the state. The IHS reports their information through the state database.

• What if I was vaccinated at a CVS, Walgreens or other pharmacy?

You are in.

For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to: www.cpr.org. n

telegraph

Venmo or paypal to reserve your spot: @katietherubin or paypal.me/ paykatienow

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LocalNews

Is the Animas drying up?

A look back at the dwindling last century of our beloved waterway says yes by john van becay

A

nother winter with below-average snow pack. Another spring with low runoff. Another shortened season for Durango’s beloved water sports. When will we return to normal? I hope you’re sitting down; I have some bad news.

The American West is stricken by drought. That is not news. For the past 20 years, moisture levels have been abnormally low in the region. Shriveling crops, raging wild fires and diseased forests are just some of the fallout. Now scientists fear we may be on the verge of a megadrought – a long-lasting period of greatly reduced moisture. The last megadrought was in the 1500s and lasted some 50 years.

Past megadroughts were naturally occurring. Their causes are complex and not completely understood. What scientists do understand is that the present drought has been worsened by anthropogenic (human caused) warming.

That’s right, our old friend global warming has worsened our present drought by 30-50 percent. How bad could it get? The past 20 years contends with any 20-year period in the last 1,200 years for the severity of drought. That is some bad news.

The San Juan Basin drainage has been especially hard hit. The Animas River shows decreased flow not for the past 20 years, but for the past 30 years, since the early 1990s. In fact, discounting the abnormally wet 1980s, the Animas River has been steadily losing flow since the beginning of record keeping in the 1890s. The history of a single river graphed on a chart is notoriously hard to plumb for trends.

Too many years buck the norm presenting a confusing welter of peaks and troughs. But dive deep enough and the evidence is there. The Animas River is not doing well.

On Oct. 5, 1911, after days of heavy rain, the Animas River came roaring out of its banks. It peaked at 25,000 cubic feet per second (cfs) which was 11 feet deep measured at the station near the power plant. The water reached the top of the arches on the Main Avenue Bridge. The monster runoff of 1911 set the record –since records have been kept – for peak run off of the Animas. Jump ahead to 1927 – a freakish combination of late snow melt and an early monsoon rain June 27, 1927, lashed the river to its second-highest historical level: 20,000 cfs and 9.65 feet.

Fast forward to June 19, 1949, the Animas peaked at 12,700 cfs and 8.5 feet.

Old timers will remember the 1970 flood, a rogue year that came out of nowhere. Torrential monsoon rains on

The 15th Street Bridge near what is now Rotary Park on Oct. 5, 1911. That year was a wet year, with heavy snows in the high country and heavy rains through the summer. On Oct. 4, a gentle rain started. The storm picked up intensity overnight and dropped 2 inches of rain on Durango. That was more than the average rainfall for the whole month of October.

It was still raining Oct. 5, and since the earth was saturated, the water was unstoppable. It was estimated the flow in the Animas River was around 25,000 cubic feet per second (cfs) that day – the highest flow ever recorded on the river. The Durango & Rio Grande railroad moved several gondolas loaded with coal onto the bridge to keep it in place. It didn’t help.

Miles of the railroad tracks were washed out. The D&RG contracted with Otto Mears in Silverton to rebuild the tracks to the south out of Silverton while D&RG crews worked their way north. The railroad was shut down for nine weeks. / Photo and historical information courtesy the Animas Museum

Sept 6, 1970, pushed the Animas to 11,600 cfs and 8.3 feet.

That year was the last time the river flooded the width of the Animas Valley.

June 11, 1980, recorded the next highest peak flow at 7,450 cfs and 8.220 feet. Since then, the Animas River has been on a downhill slide – with two exceptions. On May4

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telegraph

25, 2005, snowmelt pegged the Animas at 8,850 cfs and 7.4 feet. And on June 9, 2019 – the last year significantly above normal flow – the river clocked 7,310 cfs and 6.87 feet. The floods of 2005 and 2019 buck the trend. But they only illustrate the stark reality of the much lower peak run off in the years around them. For comparison, for the 10 years from 2011-20, the Animas averaged 4,705 cfs for peak run off. From a high of 25,000 cfs in 1911 to 20,000 to 12,700 to 7,450 in 1981 to an average in the last 10 years of 4,705 cfs, the evidence is clear. Peak flow of the Animas River is in decline.

Peak flow is flashy. It makes stunning photographs. It puts people on the river and pictures in the paper. But it’s a flighty thing, much like spring itself. Peak flow does not water crops or nurture cities. That measurement is annual discharge – which is measured in thousand acre feet, or k/a/f. One acre foot is one acre covered to a depth of 1 foot.

Years with increased annual discharge tend to clump in approximately 10-year segments, and hydrologists use a 10year running average for a river’s historical flow. To speak of a single year as indicative of above or below average can be misleading. There are always rogue years that spike or plummet outside the years adjacent to them (like 1970.)

Also, as river flow is trending lower, the historical average is pushed ever downward. There have been three 10-year periods with higher than normal annual discharge in the historical record of the Animas. Our champion, 1911, and runner up, 1927, bracket the first period. Sadly, both of these years, as well as two other years in this time frame, are missing annual discharge numbers. Nevertheless from 1913-25, the average annual discharge was 750 k/a/f, that’s three-quarters of a million acre feet per year. This number would be significantly higher if the freakish floods of 1911 and 1927 had been included.

Our second period of increased annual discharge is 1941-1950 when the average annual discharge was 665 k/a/f. In our third period, 1979-88, average annual discharge ticked upward to 700 k/a/f, a period that has not been matched for the last 80 years.

Clockwise from top: Spectators line the Main Avenue bridge to witness the historic flood of 1911. Miraculously, the bridge withstood the 25,000 cfs flows. A footbridge across from the current site of the Powerhouse is washed out in 1911. The waterlogged aftermath of the flood at Rotary Park./Photos courtesy Center for Southwest Studies For comparison, from 2010-19 the average annual flow of the Animas dropped to 496 k/a/f, a staggering 34 percent decline from the average flow a century ago. If scientists are correct – and we are entering another megadrought, aided and abetted by global warming – the future of the Animas appears grim.

In the past Durango survived the loss of its smelter. A present controversy over the coal-fired train continues to tear at the town. What is Durango’s future with an Animas River reduced to the size and ferocity of an irrigation ditch?

How does that impact Durango’s self-image? Where then will lie the soul of el Rio de las Animas Perdidas? Along a dry river bed? n

Parker’s Animal Rescue is having a “Suitcase Party!"

Following a scrumptious brunch at Animas Air Park, a lucky couple will board a private helicopter to be flown over the stunning San Juan Mountains toTelluride. You will then be chauffeured to your accommodations at the historic New Sheridan, where you will have dinner that evening. Enjoy breakfast and leisure time the next morning before being chauffeured to the Telluride Airport to board your private plane for the scenic flight back to Durango. We are only selling 30 tickets. If you win, you’ll leave from the event so pack your bag and be ready to head off!

For info. or to buy tickets: www.parkersanimalsrescue.com or 970-769-2584 Proceeds benefit Parker’s Animal Rescue.

As a bonus, Star Liquors is sending each couple home with a gift.

telegraph

May 27, 2021 n 11

14

12

LOCAL FEATURE

SAGE - Farm Fresh Eats A NEW CONCEPT FROM THE TEAM BEHIND ZIA TAQUERIA

The crew at SAGE is serving up local, fresh foods at the old Zia Taqueria location on North Main in Durango.

B

rought to you by the team at Zia Taqueria, SAGE - Farm Fresh Eats is a new, fast-casual concept, designed with local food systems and environmental sustainability in mind.

“We’ve long said we had big plans for the Old North location,” says owner and local superstar, Carly Van Hof Thomson. “We are excited to finally launch SAGE in that glorious space at 3101 Main Avenue where we built the original Zia, and where the community supported us for the first fifteen years.”

SAGE is built on the same core principles that loyal Zia customers know and love: Buy local.

Support the community. Strive for environmental sustainability. Be kind. Pay a living wage.

Stay affordable.

The menu features an assortment of chef-inspired classics (Broccoli Cheddar Soup, Ceasar Salad), adventurous originals (Smoked Jerk Sweet Potato Stew, Steak & Mushroom Bowl), and plenty of kid-friendly options (Pan-Fried PB&J, Classic Grilled Cheese & Tomato Soup) – all at an affordable price point that reflects our commitment to local, high quality ingredients and staying accessible for local families.

Deliciousness set aside, SAGE also has a firm commitment to environmental sustainability - with a 15kW solar array to power the bulk of their energy needs. The team considers the environmental impact of their operations in every decision they make.

The concept allows the team to take their commitment to local agriculture to a new level: with a rotating menu of soups & salads (as well as sandwiches and grain bowls) that provide an outlet for what our local farmers and ranchers grow best - sourcing grass-fed beef, and only whole, humanely raised, all natural chicken.

“We are extremely careful and thoughtful in our procurement of take-out packaging, which has a significant environmental impact,” says Carly. “We look at both front-line material sourcing, and back-line waste disposal to consider what customers are likely to do with the product after use (recycle, trash, etc). We don’t have commercial composting available in Durango, so we don’t prioritize compostable plastics. When we use compostable plastics, it is only because we have deemed the front-line sourcing (corn starch, chalk) to be an improved impact over petroleum, in cases where consumers are less likely to recycle.”

One of the most important aspects of building a strong, local community is encouraging local, independent businesses to support one another. When we keep our money and resources circulatting locally, we amplify opportunities for our local producers, manufacturers, entrepreneurs, and even employees. Not to mention, local produce is more nutrient dense, utilizes less packaging, and requires minimal transport.

Although only a few weeks old, SAGE has already begun to leverage their local power by signing on to the Local Movement and partnering with Local First programming. To support the upcoming LPEA election, SAGE extended their support for Local First’s Candidate Forum, alongside eight other local businesses, to ensure our community’s priority of local, renewable energy stays at the forefront of this board election.

SAGE is a leading example of this core principle. Their growing list of local collaborators include meats from Sunnyside Meats, beans from Adobe Mills, Ute Mountain yellow corn meal from Bow & Arrow. They source Blue Bird flour from Cortez Milling, tempeh from LuvBox, Colorado Sunflower Oil, and chips from their very own Zia Tortilla Company. SAGE also partners with Beet Street Farm, Fields to Plate, and Twin Buttes for their assortment of fresh produce. Not to mention our favorite local libations are sourced from Zuberfizz, Solavita Kombucha, and Ska.

SAGE is also partnering with Local First, Thrive: Living Wage Coalition, and Good Business Colorado’s Resilient Restaurant program to convene local restaurant owners to discuss the pandemic’s impact on Durango’s food industry and navigate the employment shortage many are now facing.

We are lucky to welcome SAGE to the community! Stop by 3101 Main Avenue (the old North Zia location) to share your support and fill up on a delicious, locally-sourced meal.

TO LEARN MORE AND PLACE AN ORDER, VISIT: SAGEFARMFRESHEATS.COM

13

5 Star R Review eview

Black Bear Carpet Cleaning & Restoration

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“We are so lucky to have a company like Black Bear Carpet Cleaning and Restoration in our community. Not only are they fantastic at restoring my well-loved floors, they are dedicated to supporting community members and other businesses throughout our region. It’s comfforting to know the money I spend with them is supporting good people.

I can call on the Black Bear Carpet Team any time of year to take care of my flooring and even nurse it back to health after the slush and snowy season.

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After seeing what a great job they did on the hardwood, tile, and carpet in the house, I’ve also started hiring Black Bear to take care of the upholstery and carpeting in my cars. It seems like no amount of after school snacks (and stains) can slow them down. I’ve gotten so used to their level of service that I even have their number on the fridge in case one of the dogs has an accident when we’re out of town. Their estimates are reasonable and their quality of work can’t be beat. If you’ve been thinking about calling a profeessional to revive your flooring or for for spring cleaning, don’t hesitate to call them - you’ll be glad you did!”

11th Street Station is back, better than ever.

With over 200 plus seats for you, and we have live music Wednesday -Saturday nights and Saturday/Sunday days. Come check our new tableside service, the Backdeck's waterfall, or the Sunset Bar outdoor bar!

11th Street Station uses fresh squeezed juices for all drinks, and we continue to serve a 12 rotating beer list. Come down for a visit! Cheers!

C Carpet arpet SSteam team Cleaning Tile Grout Tile and Gr out Cleaning Upholstery Upholstery and Auto Auto Steam Steam Cleaning Patching/Seam Repair P atching/Seam R epair Water W ater and FFire ire Restoration Restoration *For estimate, *F or an estima te, call 970-382-1344

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14

picked clothing, worldly gifts, summer accessories,

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dayinthelife

Bottoms up!

by Stephen Eginoire

W

ith this year's runoff more like a slow bleed, it is easy to let one's whitewater guard down. But remember: flips and swims can happen any place at any time.

Sure, the photos presented here are of the Animas River's historic peak flows of 2019 (in the ballpark of 7,200 CFS) where rapids in downtown Durango were crushing 16foot rafts like tin cans. But doom still lurks for those who like to taunt the river while it's at an unassuming level. ESPECIALLY, if these cardinal rules of the river are broken: too much exposed bare skin; jeans; inebriation; loosely fastened PFDs; lily-dipping; and flip flops.

telegraph

May 27, 2021 n 15

16 n May 27, 2021

telegraph

FlashinthePan

The thrill of the grill

by Ari LeVaux

G

rilled pizza does not immediately sound like the highest use of a grill – or a pizza. You’d think the bottom of the crust would burn to a blackened crisp, while blocking the coals from melting the cheese on top.

But that notion didn’t seem to dawn on Johanne Killeen and George Germon, two art students from Providence, Rhode Island, who met while working for then Dewey Dufresne, a young chef with a big future of his own. When Dufresne’s restaurant closed, he went to New York and they opened Al Forno, in 1980. Al Forno means “from the oven,” an unlikely name for the birthplace of the world’s first non-baked pizza. But the restaurant space came with a grill, and they wanted to use it. Their pizza pie became that grill’s reason why.

In the early 1980s, while Germon and Killeen were inventing grilled pizza in Providence, I was 50 miles away, eating oven-baked pizza from Armando’s Pizza in Cambridge, quite certain that pizza couldn’t possibly get any better. My friend Michele, who grew up near Providence, knew better. Although she never ate there, Al Forno cast a long shadow. “Eating there was something that rich people did,” she recalls. “It’s where my aunt’s boyfriend took her on fancy dates.”

Grilled pizza wasn’t the only way Al Forno was ahead of its time. In those days, few diners had heard of “pesto,” much less farm-to-table. In order to serve pesto, Al Forno contracted with a local farm to grow the basil.

As for the pizza, it succeeded despite the obvious reasons it shouldn’t have. Or perhaps these hurdles are what sculpted the pizza into the work of art it is.

Michele recently introduced me to this pizza, which she plans to debut to her friends on Memorial Day. The core trick is to flip the pizza after grilling one side, and put the toppings on the hot new grill marks. This is how the puzzles presented by grilled pizza are solved. The extra-oily, extra-thin crust cooks quickly, all the way through, with no gooey inside to worry about. And it won’t stick to the grill.

The crust comes out crunchy, crispy, chewy and cracker-like, with a charred but hopefully not burnt bottom and smoky flavor. At Al Forno, you could, and still can, get toppings like nettle pesto, fried calamari, peaches and prosciutto to name just a few. Once you get the hang

of grilling pizza, the precooked crust becomes a blank slate for whatever seasonal and creative toppings you can imagine. The most popular and longest-running version is the margherita, topped with a tomato sauce and the occasional pungent intrusion of half-cooked garlic, all held together by cheese.

If you know what you’re doing, you could grill yourself a lovely pizza with a hunk of store-bought dough, sauce and shredded cheese. Once you get the basic hang of grilling pizza, you can progress to thinking about toppings. And some day, perhaps, you’ll be ready to contemplate dough. I am not there myself, but luckily I can get decent pizza dough at my local store.

The Al Forno margherita pizza is a great, simple place to embark upon the path of grilled pizza. I have read every interview of Germon and Killeen on their margherita pizza that I could find. It changed over the years, so here is something in the middle, with adaptations for the Weber grill that I use at home. Killeen and Germon use maple charcoal, but I think any pure hardwood charcoal is fine.

Grilled Margherita ala Al Forno Makes one medium-sized pizza that serves two 4 lbs hardwood charcoal 1 ball of pizza dough, 14-16 ounces ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil 1 clove garlic, pressed, grated, crushed or minced

telegraph

3 ounces grated fontina cheese 1 ounce grated Romano cheese ½ cup chopped basil ½ cup chopped parsley 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme 14 ounces canned whole tomatoes, hand crushed ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes Place dough ball in a bowl and pour ¼ cup oil over it. Roll it in the oil to coat and leave it to soak. Light the coals, and when they are about halfway ready, spread them evenly about 5 inches below one side of the cooking grate.

While the coals catch, remove the dough and place it on the back of a cookie sheet. Press it into an oblong shape about the size of the pan, and less than ¼-inch thick. It’s OK if some parts are thick and others thin. That’s part of the art. If you stretch the crust so thin that a hole opens up, don’t try to patch it. This is an artist pizza. Just don’t add any toppings to that negative space and you’ll be fine. Add minced garlic to the bowl with the remaining oil. Hand-crush the tomatoes and mix in the basil, thyme and parsley.

When the coals are a bit past their prime and not burning so aggressively, lift the crust by two points on the same edge and toss it onto the hot side of the grill, like you’d whip a fresh sheet onto a bed.

After about a minute, it should start to puff up. Carefully tug up an edge and peek at the underside. After another 30 or so seconds, before it blackens, grab the edge and flip the crust onto the cool side of the rack. (It’s impossible to give exact cooking times because they depend on the heat of your coals and distance from the grill.)

While it’s still piping hot, immediately brush or rub the newly browned side of the crust with the garlic oil.

Sprinkle on the fontina and then Romano cheeses, and spoon on the herbed crushed tomatoes in dispersed little piles. Sprinkle salt, pepper, pepper flakes over the pizza.

With tongs or carefully with your fingers, slide the pizza onto the hot side of the grill, over the coals. Cook it as long as you can, ideally about four minutes, without smelling any burning. If the crust starts to blacken, pull it to the non-hot side of the grill and put the lid on until the cheese melts. Cut into artsy pieces with cooking scissors and serve. n

May 27, 2021 n 17

StufftoDo

Thursday27 Cafe au Play free outdoor baby group, with separate play area for older siblings, 10 a.m.-12 noon, 495 Florida Road (behind Christ the King church). Three fenced playgrounds are open daily for 0-4-year-olds with seats for parents. 970-749-9607 for more info.

Gary B. Walker plays piano, 10 a.m.-12 noon, JeanPierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave. “Revisiting Chaco Road Morphology and Meaning,” free online talk by Crow Canyon, 4 p.m.

Register at: www.crowcanyon.org SkaBQ, music from Black Velvet Trio, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Ska Brewing World HQ, 225 Girard St. Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Rob Webster, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave. Durango Green Drinks, 5:15 p.m. Hosted by the Sustainability Alliance of Southwest Colorado (SASCO) and Great Old Broads for Wilderness. Link on the DGD Facebook page.

Trivia night 6:30-8:30 p.m., the Powerhouse, 1333 Camino Del Rio. Socially distanced tables, masks required.

No groups larger than eight. $5 suggested team donations. Cash bar, food available from Soup Palette and Mariana’s.

Dustin Burley plays, 7 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Friday28 Downtown Clean Day, 8:30 a.m. meet at Keller Williams parking lot, 7th and Main. Cleaning supplies and work gloves will be provided. Sponsored by Durango Chamber of Commerce.

Mountainfilm in Telluride, May 28-31, some tickets still available. www.mountainfilm.org Sheryl & Beau play, 5 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Reeder and Spencer play, 5-9 p.m., Fur Trappers Steakhouse, 701 E. 2nd Ave. Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Dustin Burley, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

It’s time to celebrate 80 years of a good place to make bad decisions: El Rancho Tavern. The local’s favorite watering hole will be hosting a party this Sat., May 29, from noon – 9 p.m. outside the Ranch at 10th and Main. Festivities include food, cold beer and bands, including the South Austin Soul Revue: The Sugar Trio, Eliya Ward, Crystal Finger, the Garrett LeBeau Band, and Lawn Chair Kings. If you’re still standing after-hours, join them inside for a dance party and what is already being called a legendary El Rancho drag show. A portion of the day’s proceeds will benefit Homes for Heroes.

Ben Gibson Band plays outdoors, 6 p.m., Gazpachos, 431 E 2nd Ave.

Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave.

Disco Night, 6-9 p.m., Chapman Hill Roller Rink. $10/person with or without skate rentals.

Explore the Japanese bokken (sword) and jo (staff) 9:30-10:30 a.m., Claire Viles Park (across from St. Columba). www.durangoaikido.com

Sounds True plays, 7 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Saturday29 Trout Unlimited annual Animas River Cleanup, 8:30 a.m. – 12 noon, Schneider Park, 950 Roosa Ave. Followed by prizes and lunch.

Durango Farmers Market, 8 a.m.- 12 noon, Saturdays thru October. TBK Parking Lot, 259 W. 9th St. 49th Iron Horse Bicycle Classic, runs thru May 30, Durango www.ironhorsebicycleclassic.com Mountainfilm in Telluride, thru May 31, some tickets still available. www.mountainfilm.org Henry Stoy plays piano, 9 a.m.-12 p.m., Jean-Pierre

El Rancho’s 80th Birthday Celebration, 12 noon – 9 p.m., featuring live bands, food, beer garden and drag show. 10th and Main.

Lawn Chair Kings play outdoors, 1-1:45 p.m., El Rancho’s 80th Birthday Celebration, 10th and Main.

Sean O’Brien plays, 5 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Jack Ellis & Larry Carver play, 5-9 p.m., Fur Trapper’s Steakhouse, Vallecito.

Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Matt Rupnow, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.4

Free Do-it-Yourself Bankruptcy Clinic Presented by Colorado Legal Services

Thurs., June. 17th, 9:30 a.m. - 12 p.m. via Zoom For more info, call 247-0266. Deadline to apply is June 11.

#!

18 n May 27, 2021

telegraph

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Eli Cartwright plays, 12-3 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Ben Gibson Band plays, 6 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave.

Reeder and Spencer play, 3-7 p.m., Weminuche Grill .

Disco Night, 6-9 p.m., Chapman Hill Roller Rink. $10/person with or without skate rentals.

Smelter Mountain Boys play bluegrass, 5-8 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Elephant Revival’s Daniel Rodriguez live in concert, two shows, 6:30 & 8:30 p.m., Sheridan Opera House, Telluride. Tickets $25 and must be reserved and will be sold in pods only. Tickets and more info at www.sheridanoperahouse.com.

Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30-6:15 p.m. Online at www.durangodharmacenter.org/ Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Le Trebuchet plays, 7 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

Rob Webster, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Sunday30

Tuesday01

Mountainfilm in Telluride, thru May 31, some tickets still available. www.mountainfilm.org

Bitcoin Study Group, every Tuesday, 5:30-7 p.m., Zia North patio. An informal and casual way to meet people and learn about Bitcoin. For questions, call 970-426-2464 or email bitcoinstudygroup@protonmail.com

Iron Pony, a celebration of bikes and science, 9:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m., featuring The Powerhouse’s newest traveling exhibit, “GEAR UP: The Science of Bikes.” Kids who ride their bike get a prize. Strider bike course, beer garden and food.

Ongoing Art Exhibit for the American Cancer Society, thru June, “window-only” show, Durango Arts Center, featuring the works of Durango Arts Center board president, Mike Scieska. All works are under $400 and all proceeds will be donated to the American Cancer Society.

Episode 7 of the Actor’s Journal now streaming, featuring Henry Winkler and more. Presented by the Durango Playfest. For tickets, go to: www.durangoplayfest.org/actors-journal Cindy Coleman Pastel Paintings art show, thru May 31, Animas Chocolate & Coffee Co., 920 Main Ave. www.duckgirlart.com Weekly Activity Kits for Kids and Teens, new kits come out every Tuesday, while supplies last, Durango Public Library. Stop by or arrange a curbside pickup: 970-375-3380 or reference@durangogov.org.

Upcoming

Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Animas River Days Virtual Reel Paddling Festival, Thurs., June 3. www.animasriverdays.com

Benefit Concert for Wolfwood Refuge featuring the Zia Chicks, 2-5:30 p.m., Fox Fire Farm, Ignacio. $50/ adult which includes wine, food and a swag bag. Children are free.

Must RSVP in advance at: wolfwood1995@hotmail.com.

Sean O’Brien, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Animas River Days, June 3-6, www.animasriverdays.com.

Henry Stoy plays piano, 9 a.m.-12 p.m., Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave.

“The Wonders of Aztec Ruins National Monument and Chaco Culture National Historical Park” free virtual talk, 6 p.m. Presented by the Rotary Club of Durango.

For log-in, email: Mtnman16@gmail.com.

“Mimbres, the View from West Mexico: Aztatlán Cargo Systems and Figurative Bowl Traditions and their Influence on Classic Mimbres Ceramics, Worldview, and Social Change in Southwestern New Mexico,” Thurs., June 3, 4 p.m., zoom talk by Crow Canyon. Register at: www.crowcanyon.org

Black Velvet Band plays, 1-4 p.m., Tico Time River Resort, 1 mile south of the state line.

Wednesday02

Live Music on the Range: Rob Webster plays, 2-5 p.m., Hillcrest Golf Club.

Blue Moon Ramblers play, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Rob Webster, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Wednesday Wine Workshops, 4-5 p.m., PRIMI Pasta & Wine Bar, 1201 Main Ave. Taste your way through Italy’s wine regions with Sommelier Tracy Regan. Reserve your spot at www.primidurango.com

“Electric fencing to protect chickens, bees, small livestock and fruit trees from bears,” free online lecture, part of BearSmart’s online speaker series, Thurs., June 3, 6:30-8 p.m. Register at bearsmartdurango.org.

Trail Work: Twin Buttes Maintenance, 4:30-7 p.m.

Meet at Twin Buttes Trailhead. www.durangotrails.org.

Trail Work: Colorado Trail Maintenance, Fri., June 4, 12-4 p.m. Meet at Upper Lot Trailhead. www.durangotrails.org.

The Jeff Solon Jazz Duo, 6-8 p.m. every Wednesday thru Sept. 8, Dandelion Café 725 E. 2nd Ave.

Ben Gibson Band plays, 7 p.m., Tico Time Resort, 1 miles south of state line

Explore the Japanese bokken (sword) and jo (staff) 5:30-6:30 p.m., Claire Viles Park (across from St. Columba). www.durangoaikido.com

Monday31 Mountainfilm in Telluride, final day, some tickets still available. www.mountainfilm.org

Adam Swanson, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave. Terry Rickard, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Memorial Day Service and 100th Anniversary, 10 a.m., Bayfield Cemetery, CR 501 with fly-over, guest speakers and refreshments. Sponsored by the American Legion Bill Whitney Post 143. The public is invited.

True Western Roundup Rodeo Series, Wednesday until August, 6:30 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds.

Merely Players presents Theatre in the Parking Lot featuring Yasmina Reza’s comedy “ART,” June 4-5, 10-12 at 6:30 p.m., June 6 and 13 at 4 p.m. TBK parking Lot, 259 W. 9th St. Pay what you can. No reservations required. BYOC (bring your own chair) See www.merelyplayers.us for information on this play and the special COVID and venue considerations.

Thee Fearless Peasants play, Fri., June 4, 5-8:30 p.m., outside at Gazpacho.

Salamander Trio plays, Fri., June 4, 7 p.m., Ernie’s @ 11th Street Station, corner of 11th & Main.

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May 27, 2021 n 19

AskRachel

Super specific, burrito blunders and air heads Interesting fact: Canned air is not actually air at all, but a highly flammable mixture. I’m more and more invested in this potential canned-air superhero by the moment.

Dear Rachel, I think those generational lines between Boomers/GenX/Millennials etc. are a bunch of bull honky. But I’ve discovered the real generational divide: Superheroes. I mean, everyone my dad’s age likes the Batman of a certain vintage.

So I guess I mean “Avengers” movies specifically.

My older friends run the gamut from “don’t get it” to “can’t stand it.” My younger friends can talk about them eternally. And I feel like I’m truly on the divide. Can I bridge the gap, do you think? Or am I the tracks dividing the town by age?

– The Real Geriatric Millennial Dear Stuck Iin the Middle, Maybe you just need better friends? Because I don’t care what age you are, or what your sexual identity is, or even what century you are from: Mark Ruffalo is freaking adorable when he’s not all big and green, and kind of even when he is, and if the “Avengers” just wanted to make a whole series showing him ordering takeout and being all deferential and polite about it, I’d pay.

– Hulking out, Rachel Dear Rachel, I just had the worst morning ever, casualty free division. After a lot of minor hassles stacked

on top of one another, I decided to treat myself to a breakfast burrito. Red chili. Well, I got it to the car, and I had to juggle some things, so I tucked it under my arm. Guess I’ve been working out, because I smashed that burrito all over my shirt. I said two words – the first of which was “Oh” – sat the burrito on my bumper … then promptly lowered the tailgate on it. So, any advice for removing stubborn chili stains?

– Smashing Fashion Sense Dear Squirt, Who do I look like, Martha Stewart? Much more up my line of expertise is a question like, “So can I still eat this burrito?” The answer to which, of course, is yes. That burrito is the embodiment of all that was wrong with your day. In some cultures, real and/or fictional, consuming your enemy is the way to absorb their powers and defeat them. Incorporate that burrito into your body. Especially because, come on, it never even hit the ground.

– Bon appetit, Rachel

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

Dear Rachel, Working from home most of the last year, I’ve ended up with crap jammed in my keyboard, and no supply closet stocked with air cans to clean it out. No pens, no lead refills for the mechanical pencils I think I’ll use but never do: this stuff I can get used to. But the lack of air cans has me consternated. And blowing doesn’t seem to do the trick. Any thoughts on how to get back my “return” key’s functionality are welcome.

– Jammin’ Dear Bob Marley, You need to find a radioactive air can (or maybe an air pump would do), eat it to absorb its power, and become a superhero keyboard de-jammer cleaner person.

This is the superhero that can seal the cosmic gap in our generations. Communication between the eras cannot happen without a full alphabet, and I for one am tired of avoiding the tilde key that’s been stuck on my laptop since 2018.

– It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s me,

Free Social Security Disability Workshop Presented by Colorado Legal Services

Thurs., Sept. 17, 1-3 p.m. via Zoom For more info. or to apply, call (970) 247-0266. Deadline to apply is June 4

20 n May 27, 2021

telegraph

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence,” declares an Arab proverb.

That’s a high standard to aspire to. Even at our very best, when we’re soaring with articulate vitality, it’s hard to be more beautiful than silence for more than, say, 50 percent of the time. But here’s a nice surprise: You could exceed that benchmark during the next three weeks. You’re primed to be extra expressive and interesting. When you speak, you could be more beautiful than silence as much as 80 percent of the time.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s the definition of an emotional support animal: “a companion animal that provides therapeutic benefit to a person with a mental or psychiatric disability.” I don’t mean to be flippant, but I think every one of us has at least one mental or psychiatric disability that would benefit from the company of an emotional support animal. If you were ever going to acquire such an ally, the coming weeks would be prime time to do so. I encourage you to also seek out other kinds of help and guidance and stimulation that you’d benefit from having. It’s the resource-gathering phase of your cycle. (PS: Cesar Chavez said: “You are never strong enough that you don’t need help.”)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A blogger named Valentine Cassius reports, “A tiny old woman came into the deli where I work and ordered a ‘wonderful turkey sandwich.’ When asked what she wanted on the sandwich other than turkey, she said ‘all of your most wonderful toppings.’” Here’s my response to that: The tiny old woman’s approach usually isn’t very effective. It’s almost always preferable to be very specific in knowing what you want and asking for it.

But given the current astrological omens, I’ll make an exception for you in the next three weeks. I think you should be like the tiny old woman: Ask life, fate, people, spirits and gods to bring you all of their most wonderful toppings.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held,” Cancerian novelist Erin Morgenstern testifies.

“Tired of trying to control what cannot be controlled.” Here’s good news for her and all Cancerians. You have cosmic permission to surrender – to no longer try to hold things together that can’t be held or try to control what can’t be controlled.

Maybe in a few weeks you will have gained so much relaxed new wisdom that you’ll be inspired to make fresh attempts at holding together and controlling. But that’s not for you to worry and wonder

about right now. Your assignment is to nurture your psychological and spiritual health by letting go.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Philosopher Georges Bataille wrote, “The lesson of Wuthering Heights, of Greek tragedy and, ultimately, of all religions, is that there is an instinctive tendency towards divine intoxication which the rational world of calculation cannot bear. This tendency is the opposite of Good. Good is based on common interest, which entails consideration of the future.”

I’m going to dissent from Bataille’s view. I agree that we all have an instinctive longing for divine intoxication, but I believe that the rational world needs us to periodically fulfill our longing for divine intoxication. In fact, the rational world grows stale and begins to decay without these interludes. So the truth is that divine intoxication is crucial for the common good.

I’m telling you this, Leo, because I think the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to claim a healthy dose of divine intoxication.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo actor Ingrid Bergman (1915–82) won the most prestigious awards possible for her work in films, TV and theater: Oscars, Emmys and a Tony. She was intelligent, talented and beautiful. Life was a challenge when she was growing up, though. She testified, “I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn’t shut up.” If you have a sleeping lion inside you, Virgo, I expect it to wake up soon. And if your inner lion is already wide awake and you have a decent relationship with it, I suspect it may soon begin to come into its fuller glory.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran author Antonio Tabucchi described the frame of mind I recommend for you in the coming days. I hope you’ll be eager to embrace his far-reaching empathy. Like him, I trust you will expand your capacity to regard the whole world as your home. Here’s Tabucchi’s declaration: “Like a blazing comet, I’ve traversed infinite nights, interstellar spaces of the imagination, voluptuousness and fear. I’ve been a man, a woman, an old person, a little girl, I’ve been the crowds on the grand boulevards of the capital cities of the West, I’ve been the serene Buddha of the East. I’ve been the sun and the moon.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author James Frey writes, “I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick armor.

And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t.” I agree with Frey.

The behavior he describes has nothing to do with being tough. So what does? That’s

important for you to think about, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to be tough in the best senses of the word. Here are my definitions: Being tough means never letting people disrespect you or abuse you, even as you cultivate empathy for how wounded everyone is. Being tough means loving yourself with such unconditional grace that you never act unkind out of a neurotic need to overdefend yourself. Being tough means being a compassionate truth-teller.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Fragile intensity or intense fragility? Ferocious gentleness or gentle ferocity? Vulnerable strength or strong vulnerability? I suspect these will be some of the paradoxical themes you’ll be delicately wrestling in the coming days. Other possibilities: sensitive audacity or audacious sensitivity; fluidic fire or fiery fluidity; crazy wisdom or wise craziness; penetrating softness or soft penetration; shaky poise or poised shakiness. My advice is to regard rich complexities like these as blessings, not confusions or inconveniences.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Birds that live in cities have come up with an ingenious adaptation. They use humans’ abandoned cigarette butts to build their nests. Somehow they discovered that nicotine is an insectide that dispels pests like fleas, lice and mites.

Given your current astrological aspects, I’m guessing you could make metaphorically comparable adjustments in your own life. Are there ways you could use scraps and discards to your benefit?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A blogger named Raven testifies, “My heart is a toddler throwing a tantrum in a store and my brain is the parent who continues to shop.” I’m pleased to inform you, Aquarius, that your heart will NOT act like that toddler in the coming weeks. In fact, I believe your heart will be like a sage elder with growing wisdom in the arts intimacy and tenderness. In my vision of your life, your heart will guide you better than maybe it ever has. Now here’s a message to your brain: Listen to your heart!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Voyager 1 space probe, launched by NASA in 1977, is now more than 14 billion miles from Earth. In contrast, the farthest humans have ever penetrated into the ground is 7.62 miles. It’s the Kola Superdeep Borehole in northwest Russia. Metaphorically speaking, these facts provide an evocative metaphor for the following truth: Most humans feel more confident and expansive about exploring the outer world than their inner realms. But I hope that in the coming weeks you will buck that trend, as you break all previous records for curious and luxurious exploration into your deepest psychic depths.

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May 27, 2021 n 21

EndoftheLine

An ode to flowers

A

hundred million years ago the only living plants that existed on the planet survived near areas of water. These plants were mostly ferns and mosses. Somewhere near the end of the Age of Reptiles a biological revolution took place. It was marked by the emergence of the angiosperms ... the flowering plants.

In a sense, flowers changed the face of the Earth. Without flowering plants, the world we know would not have existed and humankind would never have appeared.

The Jurassic world was dominated by spore-bearing plants known as gymnosperms. The animals that lived during those times were largely cold blooded, and most of those creatures consumed ferns, cycads, conifers and ginkgos. Many of those plants still exist today and are labeled as some of the oldest species of plants on the planet.

Sauropods, those long-necked lumbering dinosaurs, consumed vast amounts of gymnosperms that dominated the landscape.

Suddenly, and for reasons still not discovered, angiosperms began to appear. Somehow, plants found a way through their evolutionary process to create what we

know as seeds. Through this process those innovative plants began to develop ways to propagate over wide regions by creating attractive blossoms and seeds. Somehow they adapted to nature’s elements. To this day, most plant seeds are dispersed by the wind. The dandelion’s

delicate parachute-like seeds are a wonder to examine. In time, some plants adapted seeds that could be carried off by animals. There are numerous types of sticky burrs that are easily attached to passing creatures. The ability of angiosperms to evolve had created the greatest diversity of life on this planet. Flowering plants no longer were bound by watery margins but could now advance over the most extreme areas of the Earth, from deserts to the highest mountain ranges.

I’m reminded that without the gift of flowering angiosperms there would not be the magnificent diversity of life that we all enjoy. The crocuses pushing to the surface with the warming of days and the appearance of bees circling and pollinating the dandelions.

As I look down at the dandelions' soft yellow faces, I am reminded that without flowering plants there would not be various spectrums of color that decorate the land. It is their emergence that has changed the face of the planet and fostered a cornucopia of floral wonders for all of us to enjoy.

– Burt Baldwin

The search is over.

Issue 16 of The Gulch is coming soon!

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com.

To find out about advertising opportunities or to get a subscription, email: steve@gulchmag.com

22 n May 27, 2021

telegraph

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., gone fishing. Please call ahead: 259-0133.

Announcements Have You Found Us Yet? Durango’s newest rock shop, Crystal Boutique, has handmade sterling silver jewelry, and crystals beyond your wildest dreams. 1053 Main Ave. Durango.

GarageSales Yard/Estate Sale Curated, cool vibe vintage pieces, high quality decorative items, furnishings, and furniture. Plus, manly items like tools and a snow blower. Much more interesting than your usual garage sale. 734 E. 6th Ave., downtown Durango. Sat., June 12th, 8am - noon.

’82 Land Cruiser 2F Engine $500. 505-488-8793.

2006 Holiday Rambler Admiral RV Great condition. 1 owner. 34ft w/2slides. Workhorse 8.1L V-8 engine, Allison transmission. 2 solar panels. Blue Ox towing system. $32,500 713-213-0646.

2004 Lexus GX470 195,672 mi, clean, leather seats, V8, $13,500. 970-946-9248.

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

Services

BodyWork

RSE Handyman Service Home repair - yard work - odd jobs, 970-903-0449.

Lotus Path Healing Arts Now accepting new clients. Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

Jeep Grand Wagoneer 1986. One owner. No damage. $13,000. 970-749-0800.

Mother’s Day Gift Certificates!

Massage by Meg Bush, LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-759-0199.

Reruns Home Furnishings Get warm weather ready! Nice bistro sets, garden pots and yard art. Vintage Drexel surfboard coffee table, Pier 1 nightstands and side tables. Come in today. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 18/19/20. Couples, cupping, local CBD. Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984.

ForRent

Fire Mitigation Services Professional Training & Services (Licensed & Insured) Retired Forester & Firefighter (Smokejumper) www.home steadfiremitigation.com 970-317-0826.

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango

Classes/Workshops Summer Spanish Class Now accepting students for beginner thru advanced Spanish starting in June. Finally, in-person learning is back! Call 970309-5966 or visit www.espanola hora.net

HelpWanted We Are Hiring!

We are hiring part-time positions at 6th Street Liquors. We currently are looking for Saturday and Sunday day shift shift position and weekday afternoon shift positions. Please bring resume and references to be considered for position.

Please no calls.

ForSale Electra Townie 21d Bicycle Electra Townie 21d Step Thru cruiser bike, great condition, persimmon color, front basket, great for River Trail, $300, leave message 970-259-2566.

16’ Whitewater Raft $450 OBO. 970-247-3246.

HaikuMovieReview ‘Blade Runner 2049’ It’s long, REALLY long and Ryan Gosling acts just like a kicked puppy – Lainie Maxson

NewspaperOrigami Durango Rental House by Bread 800 sq. ft on 3/4 acre with 2 other houses. $950/mo. rent, $250.00/mo. util (gas, electric, h2o, trsh, net). $850.00 deposit. Mo. to Mo. lease. Up to 8 hrs. work @ $20/hr. to offset some rent cost. No cigs, dogs. Text970- 903-8540 or email OlPaul48@Bresnan.net for more info. Available about July 1st.

Office space available inside Natural Health Care office 1 block off main. Perfect for counselor.

Shared waiting area & FREE util/ WiFi, pkg. $300/mo Call 970-749-2815.

Wanted Rental House in Durango Wanted Retired couple seeks home for rent.

Ideal property has two bedrooms, two baths and a one car garage. One older, well-behaved cat. Please email lovnfly fishing922@gmail.com

telegraph

May 27, 2021 n 23

24 n May 27, 2021

telegraph