Telegraph June 11, 2020

Let us off this crazy ride

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June 11, 2020 Vol. XIX, No. 21 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Full-steam ahead

Uphill battle

The cyber rabbit hole

Judge rules Forest Service can proceed with 416 lawsuit p8

Bennet fights to keep CORE Act alive for day on Senate floor p9

Merely Players presents ‘Alice’ for modern times p10

Sure to float your boat.

Issue 13 is out next week!

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com.

To find out about advertising opportunities, email: steve@gulchmag.com

2 n June 11, 2020

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lineup

8

4 La Vida Local

Judge deals blow to D&SNG by refusing to dismiss Forest Service lawsuit

4 Thumbin’ It

The $25M question

Ear to the ground: “I had a dream last night that I was standing in a long line waiting to get into the Ranch when it re-opened. What do you think it means?”

“That you really like the Ranch.”

– A less than Freudian interpretation of one local’s pandemic dream

by Missy Votel

5 Word on the Street 6-7 Soapbox

9

8 Local News

Uphill battle Bennet pushes to add CORE Act to massive public lands bill

9 State News

Call off the search

thepole

RegularOccurrences

The hunt is “fenn”ally over. More than 10 years after eccentric Santa Fe millionaire Forrest Fenn published his cryptic poem leading untold thousands on a wild goose chase across the Rocky Mountains, his treasure has been found.

Fenn, 89, made the announcement on his website Sun., June 7. He did not disclose the treasure’s location, nor did he name the man who found the treasure, other than to say he was from somewhere “back East.” He confirmed his discovery by sending Fenn a photo of the riches.

Fenn

by Caitlyn Kim/CPR News

10 Arts Scene 12 Flash in the Pan

10

13 Ask Rachel

Outside the box Merely Players takes at-home viewers on trip down the cyber rabbit hole

13 Stuff to Do

by Missy Votel

14 Free Will Astrology 15 Classifieds

12

15 Haiku Movie Review

Tofu and you

On the cover: Pete Tschannen gets ready for take off recently on Smelter Mountain./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

This crispy, golden, pillowy delight is not your daddy’s bean curd

by Ari LeVaux

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EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Stephen Eginoire steve@gulchmag.com

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, David Feela, Shan Wells, Jesse Anderson, Ari LeVaux and Clint Reid

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We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

telegraph

"It was under a canopy of stars in the lush, forested vegetation of the Rocky Mountains and had not moved from the spot where I hid it more than 10 years ago," the 89-year-old Fenn wrote.

"I do not know the person who found it, but the poem in my book led him to the precise spot."

Fenn is referring to his 2010 autobiography The Thrill of the Chase, which contained a 24-line poem that contained clues to the treasure’s location. The treasure, said to contain rubies, gold, emeralds and diamonds and estimated to be worth over $1 million, was a way for Fenn to give people hope and inspire them to explore nature during the Great Recession, he said.

Fenn estimated that as many as 350,000 people from all over the world went hunting for the treasure, according to the Santa Fe New Mexican.

Some quit their jobs to fully dedicate their lives to the hunt, with five unlucky souls losing their lives in the hunt. Many others have gotten lost in the wild, prompting dangerous rescues.

"I congratulate the thousands of people who participated in the search and hope they will continue to be drawn by the promise of other discoveries," Fenn said on his website.

And despite prodding from the curious and crest-fallen, Fenn told the New Mexican Monday he was not "going to talk about it anymore."

At least one hunter interviewed by the New Mexican said he could see the logic in this. "I am personally wondering if Forrest will actually reveal the location," Ken King, of Longmont, said. "This place was a special place for him, and maybe he won't want hundreds or thousands of searchers descending to get a look at the resting place of this treasure chest that has eluded us for so long."

Over the years, the search for Fenn’s treasure has spawned an annual gathering of campers at Santa Fe’s Hyde Memorial State Park known as Fennboree, as well as several documentaries and hundreds of articles. The New Mexico Department of Tourism even produced a video about the search for the state website.

June 11, 2020 n

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opinion

LaVidaLocal Dis-taxia I was reminded of that old Jackson 5 number, the one that goes something like “ABC, easy as 123.” I hummed a few bars until a fog of confusion settled on my brain while scanning my grocery receipt, double-checking what I’d been charged for my purchases. I’d spent $67.56 on 18 items. Under my subtotal, a list of three sales taxes appeared: TAX A, TAX B and TAX D. Where did TAX C go? I couldn’t imagine.

Or maybe it just taxed my imagination.

A conspiracy theory took over in my head, a shadow of suspicions. Later that week while in Durango, I purchased two items at a supermarket: a bag of Bob’s Sweet Stripe mints, and a 4ounce bottle of white fabric paint.

My receipt spit out three sales taxes, but not my usual A, B, D. Instead, these were listed as 1, 2 and 5. Even more discouraging, I realized I’d been assessed more taxes than purchased items.

The missing letters and numerals bothered me. What kind of mischief lurked in the spaces between B and D, and between 2 and 5? The answer couldn’t be as simple as invisible ink or a checkout printer with a mechanical hiccup. It had to be intentional, and I wanted to know why.

A call to each store’s business department proved inconclusive, but I did learn TAX 1 (the 8.4 percent) in Durango combined three separate taxes: 2.9 percent for the State of Colorado, 2 percent for LaPlata County and 3.5 percent for the City of Durango. Technically, this was just one tax on my two-item purchase, but two co-conspirators remain camouflaged on the receipt.

TAX 2 turned out to be a food tax, according to the woman who drew the short straw when my call arrived. She wasn’t sure, but a food tax was her best guess. I wanted to ask if TAX 2 meant I’d been taxed one more time on my mints – the only “food” I’d bought, because I couldn’t imagine eating the fabric paint. I could tell her cheerfulness was waning. She had more important things on her desk than to field sales tax questions from a customer who wouldn’t just shut up and pay the silly pennies, so I moved on to inquire about TAX 5.

She put me on hold to consult a higher authority, or possibly because she needed a drink. Either way, we both maintained a curious politeness, equally perplexed by the taxman. While I waited, I wrestled with the knowledge that TAX 1 essentially

collects revenue three times on the same items, while TAX 2 amounts to another lick at my measly mints. What could possibly justify one more tax?

When my oracle reconnected, she sweetly revealed that TAX 5 was a sugar tax. It was obvious which of my two items qualified for an additional 2.9 percent. I asked if any product containing sugar as an ingredient qualified for the tax, but she didn’t know. A cake mix? A box of cereal? A jar of jelly? She couldn’t say. Pancake syrup?

What about a 5-pound bag of sugar? Her fingers must have tensed, because I heard a crackle reaching through the phone connection. I thanked her for trying to help, hung up and switched to the internet.

It’s odd waiting in a line at the checkout only to notice our elected caretakers nudging us, saying no, no, not that, and then slapping us with a fine if we disregard their wisdom. The trouble with legislating nutritional behavior is that no consistency exists in what our united states decide might qualify as food.

Currently, 15 states exempt sales tax on foods and beverages purchases, no matter what products you buy, and only five of these charge no sales tax on anything.

Coloradans live in a less temperate financial climate. Here, while the taxman claims there’s no tax on “most” foods, the state has a very specific list (three pages long) of non-tax-exempt food items, which are collected under the heading “unique food laws.” Candy is just one of them, and since evil is sweet, this non-food requires additional punishment, except if purchased with food stamps or WIC vouchers.

Then the same sugar items are taxexempt.

At my local supermarket, I found a similar level of confusion about grocery taxes, though clearly not as befuddled as my own. A, B, D, ... 1, 2, 5 ... I just couldn’t get that music out of my jive. The implied advice from those who tried to explain things to me was to stop paying such close attention, and thank you for being a valued customer.

Learning about these political maneuverings to disguise their duty deeds left a bad taste in my mouth, which could explain why I buy mints. Or maybe I’m just a candy hoarder, preparing for the day when an elected official will be overheard shouting, “Let them eat paint!”

Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It Last Saturday’s deluge and a rare June snowstorm bringing much-needed moisture to the parched Southwest

Lawmakers taking swift action to address civil unrest in the wake of George Floyd’s death with U.S. House Democrats introducing a police-reform bill that would mandate body cameras and ban chokeholds and state Dems introducing a police accountability bill

A not so dire outlook for School District 9-R’s finances, with passage of school funding legislation last week shrinking 9R’s expected budget shortfall from $4m to $1.2m

4 n June 11, 2020

– David Feela

Last Saturday’s tragic death of a commercial rafter on the Animas, just a few days after companies were given the green light to again start running trips

A telltale spike in coronavirus hospitalizations in several states in the wake of Memorial Day weekend, with many that relaxed stay-at-home orders seeing record rises in cases and nearing bed capacity

President Trump using the country’s distraction with the coronavirus to roll back countless environmental measures, such as limits on carbon emissions and air and water pollution, calling them burdensome to the fossil fuel industry and other businesses

telegraph

Blunder Downunder Brace yourselves… a man living near Griffith, Australia, went on Facebook recently and hired two men to break into his home, tie him up and “rub a broom” around his underwear for $5,000. Two blokes took the job, but professional broom handlers aren’t very “professional,” so they broke into the wrong house wielding machetes (for “drama”) and found a not-perverted man sleeping in bed. Nothing bad happened – one of the gigolos said, “sorry mate,” and the other said “bye” before offering a handshake – and all charges were dismissed in court, meaning everyone got off in the end.

WordontheStreet

Q

With Flag Day on Sunday, the Telegraph asked, “What would you fly on your flag?”

Bryant

"Deodorant is your friend."

Chris

"Resist."

Mr. E

"Wet clean only."

Jesse

“I’d wave a white flag saying ‘I surrender.’”

Ted

“Leave me alone.”

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June 11, 2020 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Open letter to Coloradans To the editor, It’s been two weeks since the world watched Minneapolis police kill George Floyd. You cannot watch the video without feeling sick, without remembering Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Tamir Rice, Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, and the countless other Americans who have lost their lives in this country because they were Black.

When I worked for the City and County of Denver, one of the first tragedies we confronted was the unjustified shooting of a black teen-ager named Paul Childs by law enforcement in Park Hill.

That was almost 20 years ago. Nothing has changed.

What happened to George Floyd would never happen to my daughters. It would never happen to me. That is the reality we face, the reality thousands are protesting in Colorado and across the country, and the reality we must change.

In recent days, many have observed that the current pandemic has exposed profound inequality in our society. We should not have needed a pandemic to see this. If you have been paying any attention, if you have listened to voices in the Black community and studied history, then you know these injustices have been with us for generations and grown worse in recent decades. You can draw a straight line from slavery to Jim Crow to the redlining of our banking and housing systems to mass incarceration to the recent killing of Black people from Georgia to Minnesota.

This week, I returned to work in a capitol building whose stones were placed by enslaved human beings.

American slavery is not ancient history. Our country enslaved human beings less than a hundred years before I was born in 1964. We will never heal as a country until

we fully confront and dismantle the systemic racism that plagues every aspect of our society. As a white male and a United States Senator, it is my duty to use my platform

and position to do this.

I commit to working with my colleagues and others to address structural oppression and racism in our country.4

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6 n June 11, 2020

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I commit to calling out leaders, including the President of the United States, who stoke hatred, racial division and violence. I commit to hearing and acting on the fair and overdue demands of those protesting and demonstrating in Colorado and across the country. And I commit to being an ally to the black community because Black Lives Matter.

– Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo.

Co-op members spoke, Tri-State listened To the editor, As a member of La Plata Electric Association, you are part of a larger cooperative family that has delivered reliable and affordable power across your community and others like it for decades. And just as the way your electricity use has likely changed over the years, the way your power is generated also is changing.

As the CEO of Tri-State Generation and Transmission, the power supplier to LPEA, I want to tell you how we are changing to better deliver reliable, affordable and responsible power to you today and for decades to come.

While you certainly know LPEA, TriState may be unfamiliar to you. We are a member-owned, not-for-profit power supply cooperative created by local distribution cooperatives, like yours. Around the clock, we generate and deliver power to LPEA, which delivers power you. With more than 40 cooperatives working together, we are able to do this on a large scale, which is more cost-effective and efficient, and helps manage the many risks that come with securing power.

The way electricity is generated is rapidly changing. New renewable energy technologies from large-scale wind and solar power plants are now the lowest-cost way to generate electricity. Many consumers want electricity generation with lower emissions, and some states – like Colorado – are requiring significant emissions reductions from power plants.

Last year, our members, which own and govern Tri-State, directed that we make significant changes to use more renewable energy, reduce emissions and provide more flexible options for co-ops that want to generate more electricity locally.

Our members further directed that we do this while ensuring electricity reliability and striving to reduce rates.

In January, Tri-State announced its “Responsible Energy Plan.” The plan fundamentally transforms how we generate power and does so while protecting reliability and addressing rates. I want to share with you several of the specific steps we are taking to meet our members’ goals: • By 2024, Tri-State will add eight additional wind and solar power plants to our system, which more than doubles our clean energy resources. These will be the lowest-cost power generation in our system, and with them, we will maintain the high-level of reliability expected by our members. In total, we will have 15 wind and solar projects, each located in the communities served by our members.

• To significantly reduce emissions, we

are retiring the coal power plants that we operate in Colorado and New Mexico.

This action eliminates our coal emissions in New Mexico by the end of the year and in Colorado by 2030. We will continue to provide reliable power, and the cost savings from our renewable energy additions will help us to manage the costs of closing these coal power plants. Importantly, we are supporting our employees and the communities affected by these difficult changes.

• Some of our members have asked for more flexibility in their power contracts. A new contract option will provide greater opportunities for our members that want to generate more power themselves. Our members will soon have a new contract option to self-supply up to 50 percent of their power.

• We also are working with our members to support greater energy efficiency and expand the use of electric vehicles and other products that can use cleaner electricity and further reduce costs.

A case study recently published by the Rocky Mountain Institute recognized our efforts, noting how we dedicated more than a year to the development of a thoughtfully crafted, detailed and forward-thinking plan. Our Responsible Energy Plan is what our members asked for and voted to adopt, to lead their co-ops into the future.

Our members asked us to transform, and we are doing that while also protecting all of the values that make our cooperative business model unique and special.

We can reduce costs and preserve reliability while decreasing emissions and making investments in the communities we serve.

And with you, LPEA and Tri-State, we’re doing it together.

– Duane Highley, Chief Executive Officer, Tri-State Generation and Transmission Association

across Lafayette Park for his photo op holding a bible.

He criticizes how Democratic mayors and governors have handled protests. As with the national COVID response, all the responsibility is on someone else. He’s threatened to send federal troops to those communities to “dominate” the streets and people exercising their First Amendment rights.

On June 4, National Public Radio reported that armed, uniformed enforcers were mixing with peaceful protesters in D.C. The implication is they weren’t there to show solidarity. They had no personal identification and no agency insignia. That seems like a green light for brutality.

Trump claims the violence is “radical leftists” and Antifa types. I’m waiting for evidence. He wants Antifa designated a terrorist organization (are they an actual organization?) No mention of well-organized alt right white supremacists who want to start a race war, neo-Nazis and anti-government militia types.

How long have we been peacefully protesting the police killings of unarmed Black men (and women)? It doesn’t seem to do any good, because the killings keep happening. Can we reach a tipping point for positive change without violence and destruction? I hope so. I wish we had a president who would take responsibility and lead in that direction instead of inciting the worst in people.

– Carole McWilliams, Bayfield

Skate Park needs trash, recycling cans To the editor, As an avid skate park user, I skate at numerous parks around the state ranging from ski towns to inner cities. During a recent trip to Durango, I was disgusted by the trash blanketing the north end of the skate park. I couldn’t sit on the rock bench to gear up due to the piles of candy wrappers, cans, food containers with actual food spilled out, old water jugs, dirty clothes and just plain nasty shit.

My first instinct is to blame the kids, my second instinct is to blame the parents.

Why do all the other parks I skate not look like this? It’s simple. Strategically placed trash cans. In the Durango park there is a large dumpster at the south end of the park.

A trash receptacle that most little kids couldn’t even reach and a place where the users don’t hang out. At the north end of the park, the closest trash can is at the very top of the trail on Roosa Avenue, which is not located within the park. Why isn’t there a trash can where a majority of the skate park users hang out? A beautiful shaded space that was designed by the city for users to hide from the sun, have a snack and watch their buddies shred. Come on Durango, not only should there be a trash can but a recycling bin too.

After I picked up two bags of trash, I asked the kiddos if there was a trash can there, would they use it. They all said yes and questioned why there wasn’t one.

– Stacy Falk, Salida

Trump brings out America’s worst To the editor, June 4 was the anniversary of the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre of democracy protesters in China. In May we had the anniversary of the killing of four college students by National Guard troops at Kent State University in Ohio. Is that where our so-called president is taking us in response to the protests over the police killing of yet another unarmed black man?

The weekend after police killed George Floyd, Donald Trump said the killing was a tragedy that shouldn’t have happened.

But his voice was flat, none of the fire that would suggest he really meant it. He reserves the fire for support and incitement of “good people” who recently invaded the Michigan statehouse with military assault weapons to protest COVID closures.

His emotional fire is in calls for hardcore law and order response when current protests turn violent and destructive as the sun goes down. Or even against peaceful protesters, as we saw when he had federal law enforcement use tear gas, pepper balls, flash bangs and other violent force to drive protesters away so he could walk

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June 11, 2020 n 7

LocalNews

Judge rules $25M lawsuit can roll on 19th century law cited in train’s liability to repay Forest Service’s suppression costs

by Missy Votel

T

he U.S. Forest Service may proceed full steam ahead with its $25 million lawsuit against the Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad.

On June 1, U. S. District Judge Robert E. Blackburn agreed with a magistrate judge’s earlier decision that the railroad’s parent company, American Heritage Railways, must face the federal government’s effort to recoup its costs in fighting the 416 Fire. The blaze, which the Forest Service determined was sparked by a cinder from a D&SNG engine on June 1, 2018, torched 54,000 acres north of Durango.

In his decision, Blackburn praised U.S. Magistrate Judge N. Reid Neureiter’s “yeoman-like work” in interpreting a 19th-century state law that allows property owners to recoup costs from fires started by railroads. According to the judges, American Heritage is liable not just for physical damages from the fire but suppression costs, as well.

After more than a year of investigations, the U.S. Attorney’s Office, serving as the legal arm of the Forest Service, filed a civil lawsuit against the train July 2, 2019, seeking $25 million in fire-fighting and rehabilitation costs.

However, American Heritage filed a motion in District Court last September to dismiss the case on the grounds that the Colorado law doesn't define damages and limits harm to destroyed property and not suppression costs.

Blackburn, who is the judge overseeing the case, asked Magistrate Neureiter to weigh in on the law and offer guidance. Neureiter delivered his decision in late December 2019, which sided with the Forest Service that the train, indeed, was liable.

“I reject the (D&SNG’s) argument that … the United States is not entitled to recover fire suppression costs,” he wrote. “The entire purpose of this strict liability statute was to shift the unavoidable cost of fires started by coalburning trains to the railroads who run the trains. It would be nonsensical … to not include the expense of fire suppression as part of the damages.”

And last week, Blackburn agreed with Neureiter’s judgement. In his decision, Blackburn wrote that the intent of the law was to shift liability for fires caused by railroad companies from property owners to the companies themselves. In addition, history showed that the wording of the law was intended only to prevent prop-

A plane drops slurry on a ridge during 2018’s 416 Fire, which ultimately torched 54,000 acres of national forest north of Durango. After a year of investigations, the Forest Service determined a cinder from one of the D&SNGRR’s engines sparked the fire and sued the railroad’s parent company for $25M in firefighting costs. The train attempted to have the case dismissed, but a judge ruled last week that the Forest Service can continue with trying to recoup its costs./File photo erty owners from involving their insurance companies in claims.

"While this addition certainly was favorable to railroads in so far as it limited the common law right of subrogation, there was no apparent consideration given to limiting the type or amount of damages that could be

sought," Blackburn wrote.

He added that the federal government is a landowner like any other, able to sue for damages to "make the injured party whole," including for money spent to put out the fire.

An attorney for the railroad declined to comment. n

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8 n June 11, 2020

telegraph

StateNews

A hiker nears the summit of Mount Sneffels in 2019. The size of the wilderness area, north of Durango, would double under Sen. Michael Bennet’s CORE Act. The bill passed the House last October and Bennet is hoping to attach it to Sen. Cory Gardner’s land bill, which would give it a long-overdue hearing in coming weeks./File photo

CORE Act could get hearing Bennet hopeful bill protecting 400,000 acres can hitch ride on lands bill

by Caitlyn Kim Colorado Public Radio

F

our-hundred-thousand acres of Colorado public lands, including some of Southwest Colorado’s most cherished landscapes, may finally see the light of day.

Earlier this week, Sen. Michael Bennet, D-Colo., filed to have his Colorado Outdoor Recreation and Economy, or CORE Act, added as an amendment to fellow Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner’s “Great American Outdoors Act.” The U.S. Senate is expected to debate and vote on the historic public lands bill over the next couple of weeks.

Gardner’s bipartisan bill, of which Bennet is a co-sponsor, would permanently and fully fund the Land and Water Conservation Fund and provide money for the maintenance backlog at the country’s national parks.

Bennet’s CORE Act, which passed the House last fall, includes the San Juan Mountains Wilderness Act, which would protect 60,000 acres of wild lands in Southwest Colorado. It includes protections for lands adjacent to the Lizard Head Wilderness Area, near Sunshine and Wilson peaks; the Sheep Mountain Recreation Area, which includes the popular Ice Lakes trail and

basin; and a doubling of the Mount Sneffels Wilderness Area.

The CORE Act would also create wilderness, recreation and conservation areas along the Thompson Divide, near Carbondale; designate Camp Hale, near Leadville, as the first National Historic Landscape; establish a boundary for the Curecanti National Recreation Area near Gunnison; and prevent mineral development on 6,500 acres outside Norwood in Naturita Canyon.

The protections have been stalled in Congress for more than a decade, and Bennet said they deserve consideration.

“The Coloradans who wrote the CORE Act have worked tirelessly to protect public lands for future generations and preserve outdoor recreation, a vital part of our state’s economy,” Bennet said in a statement. “I am calling on my Senate colleagues to include the CORE Act in this public lands package, or to quickly pass the CORE Act on its own in the weeks ahead. It is past time for this long-standing Colorado priority to become law.”

The legislation passed the House without the support of Rep. Scott Tipton, R-Cortez, who argued it did not adequately incorporate feedback from the Western Slope communities. Last fall, Gardner echoed those

concerns, saying while his support for the CORE Act is not out of the question, he wanted to see a host of changes to the bill, including strengthening language allowing grazing and the release of wilderness-study areas, though most are in counties or near lands the CORE Act affects.

But Bennet and fellow CORE Act sponsor Rep. Joe Neguse, D-Boulder, argue that the legislation is a result of a decade of discussions in Western Slope communities and the proposed changes would undermine that work.

“Ultimately, this bill does have the support of every single local jurisdiction that’s impacted directly,” Neguse said in a news conference after the House passed the CORE Act last October.

Other senators said they’re considering amendments to Gardner’s bill, as well, including one that would charge foreign visitors more to visit national parks and another that would lift the cap on oil and gas royalties paid to Gulf states.

However, Sen. Steve Daines, R-Montana, who’s shepherding the bill through with Gardner, said he doesn’t expect any amendments to be added onto the bill.

Missy Votel contributed to this story. For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org n

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June 11, 2020 n

9

thesecondsection Just a sampling of the characters from Merely Players upcoming fast-paced online performance of “Zoom Alice.” The play stars 38 actors, many in brief cameos.

Thinking outside the Zoom box Merely Players presents ‘Zoom Alice,’ a trip down the cyber rabbit hole

by Missy Votel

W

hen the Goo Goo Dolls sang “Broadway is dark tonight” in 2013, little did they know how true their words would ring seven years later. From the Big Apple to the little D-Town, stages have gone dark thanks to the coronavirus. And there’s no telling just how long the curtain will be down on live theatre.

“Theatre is going to be one of the last things to come back,” Mona Wood Patterson, director of Durango’s Merely Players theatre troupe, said Monday.

“Not only do you have people sitting next to each other in the audience, but actors are very close as well.

We’re putting droplets all over each other.”

Perhaps not the best visual, but can you imagine Roald Dahl’s “Matilda” done in facemasks? Which, among other reasons, is why the troupe brokenheart-

10 n June 11, 2020

JusttheFacts What: “Zoom Alice,” a video production by Merely Players When: June 12-20, 24 hours a day Where: www.merelyplayers.us Cost: Sliding scale, $5-???. “Pay what you can,” director Mona Wood Patterson said. The troupe wanted to provide an affordable, “no guilt”option as well as an option for those who would like to help the troupe out in these trying times. edly was forced to cancel the musical, slated for May. But just because the stage lights have gone off, doesn’t mean the lightbulb upstairs has, too.

“As things evolved, we realized, ‘oh, this is going to be months, if not years,’” Wood Patterson said. “I decided it would be better to do something to keep our-

telegraph

selves creative. It feels different if you can’t practice your art.”

The quarantine-weary wheels roared back to life in Wood Patterson’s head: she had to do something, but what? “We have a world that doesn’t make sense and everything’s upside down,” she said.

And that’s when it came to her: a modern twist on Lewis Carroll’s classic surreal fever dream of a world gone mad, “Alice in Wonderland.” Best of all, she could have free rein on the script.

“It’s in the public domain now, so I could do whatever I want,” she said. “I started adapting the Alice stories into a mashup tale for modern times.”

She also quickly fired off an email to cast members to gauge interest. She was blown away to find, like her, they were chomping at the bit to scratch the acting itch.

“We have 38 actors from four time zones,” she said.4

From there, she set about imagining just what such a production would look like.

Sure, other troupes had been doing plays on Zoom, but that was before “Zoom fatigue” had set in, she said.

As a result, the troupe decided to riff on the Zoom format, using the standard boxes, but with a twist or two (and minus the Zoom bombers and boring boss.) The actors would film themselves in their own spaces, and upload the footage to Drop Box. Then, through the magic of video editing, they would be spliced together to appear to be talking to each other. Puppetry, animation, props, background images and special effects would be added to spice things up, courtesy of set director Charles Ford, Wood Patterson’s husband.

“I haven’t seen another company do it like this,” she said.

In addition, costumes were either picked up from a table in Wood Patterson’s driveway or mailed out, and, oh, there was an original soundtrack to add, as well.

The organizing alone was a monumental task. But not as monumental as finding a way to out all together into a visually cohesive, entertaining story.

Enter stage right DHS Troupe 1096 alum, Merely Players regular and master film editor, Adam Fontana. Although he now calls Seattle home, he and his wife, Erika Vetter (who plays the lead role of Alice), return often in the summer to perform in MP productions.

“Adam is a genius,” Wood Patterson said.

However, she admits, it took a few days for the play’s form to emerge from the proverbial hookah smoke.

“It was a little disconcerting at first,” she said. “Everyone’s trying to explore this new format. What is it? What does it look like?”

Unlike live performances, remote video offers a distinct set of challenges, namely that actors can’t be in contact and play off each other. Then there is the issue of timing and little things, like making sure actors are facing each other during dialogue. Needless to say, the nagging clouds of self-doubt

Video editing maestro Adam Fontana

No - it’s not a corona yard sale. In order to comply with social distancing, actors picked up their costumes from Wood Pattersons’ driveway.

Erika Vetter as Alice started to hover. “We began to ask ourselves, what are we doing? And why are we doing it?”

In the classic case of art imitating life, Wood Patterson found herself going down the rabbit hole. That’s when she knew she had to let go and trust in the creative process.

“There’s not a lot of control,” she said.

“It’s been quite an adventure. As it shapes up, we’re really excited. It’s colorful and magical. I think people will be really tickled to see the array of characters.”

Of course, it wasn’t all a struggle. Since many of the characters in Alice only have one scene, the play lent itself to the Zoomlike format – popping in and out as needed. Plus, there was no need for elaborate sets, or – as some Zoom veterans know – elaborate costuming.

“We only needed costumes from the waist up,” Wood Patterson said.

And much like Alice’s trip, the entire thing has been a bit of a whirlwind, taking just 3½ weeks from start to finish.

But Wood Patterson said she felt a sense of urgency in getting the play out sooner than later, given the rapid-fire speed of the news cycle. For example, when she started writing, we were still under stay-at-home orders and the George Floyd protests hadn’t started.

“Things keep changing so fast and are so upside down,” she said. “But that’s what ‘Alice’ is all about. The play is a dream – Alice falls asleep – and I think we’ve all had the dream where we wake up and

wish all this was a dream.”

But, as Alice once said, it’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then. However, if you find yourself feeling curiouser and curiouser, be sure to

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check out the play June 12-20 at www.merelyplayers.us.

“We’re not sure if we’ll ever do this again, but it sure has been good for the soul,” Wood Patterson said. n

June 11, 2020 n 11

FlashinthePan

Restaurant tofu

by Ari Levaux

M

y son’s first taste of tofu was at a restaurant. He didn’t know what tofu was, or that it was coming. Having never caught wind of tofu’s bad reputation among non-Asians, he took a bite of its saucedrenched, crispy fried goodness with an open mind. He chewed through its golden barrier and into its moist, pillowy interior. Grunting his approval, he kept eating. That, ideally, is how you meet and greet tofu.

Most tofu virgins know it’s out there. They’ve heard the stories of what this personality-free substance doesn’t taste like. Unless their first bite is at a restaurant, their fears are likely confirmed. Statistically speaking, nonAsians do a poor job cooking tofu, my dad included.

He called tofu “bean curd,” like you did back in the 1970s. Before serving me the bean curd, dad explained that it was something I would be eating in place of meat which I had recently sworn off for ethical reasons.

Dad was a good cook, and while bean curd was not his strong suit, he made a well-researched attempt. I was 7 years old, and I vividly remember its chalky, flaccid, absent presence. His intentions were pure, but dad could not have devised a more effective way to change my mind about vegetarianism.

If dad had known then what I know now about freezing tofu, I might still be a vegetarian. But at least in my lifetime I have been able to finish what he started. I’m not referring to the fact that I have become one of those weirdos who likes raw, unseasoned tofu, but the fact that I now know how to cook it like the pros.

This time of year, with so many new veggies in season, stir-fries are in play, and some proper tofu can make any stir fry seem royal. But tofu’s default state is lame and flavorless, characteristics that will carry through to the finished product unless you take measures. Namely, put your brick of firm tofu in the freezer for a few days. That’s mostly it, actually. That, and some cornstarch and sauce, and you’re set.

It isn’t law that you put golden cubes of crispy, meaty, succulent tofu into every stir-fry. It is, however, something of a tradition for a reason. Adding tofu doesn’t

12 n June 11, 2020

mean skipping meat, depending on your inclinations.

Tofu is great with every type of animal protein, from chicken to eggs to bacon to seafood.

There is a lot going on in a stir-fry, and it’s easy to overlook the tofu, which would be a mistake. Just ask generations of disappointed tofu tasters. Or ask my son, who isn’t afraid to call out half-assed bean curd, but you should see him light up for “restaurant tofu.”

Restaurant tofu has a resilient, fleshy quality, a tasty brown skin that holds onto sauce, and a springy, moist interior. Tofu is mostly water, and when you freeze it that water expands, rupturing channels through the tofu as it tries to push its way out. Those channels out will soon act as portals to allow in a certain sauce we call “restaurant sauce.” You can guess the kinds of restaurants we frequent.

When thawed, you gently squeeze out as much excess water as you can. I drink the tofu water, savoring its mellow, comforting flavor. What’s left is an empty sponge you could practically scrub yourself with in the shower.

And like a sponge, this thawed brick of potential can absorb things. Like restaurant sauce, or your favorite mari-

telegraph

nade. Those cubes soak up the sauce like thirsty sailors.

I dust the saucy cubes with cornstarch and deep-fry them into golden blocks of joy that explode with flavor when you crunch through, like restaurant tofu should.

For a fun side dish, save the onions from the marinade, roll them in extra corn starch, and deep fry into a tasty side, snack or garnish.

Marinated Restaurant Tofu Serves 2 1 12 oz. brick firm or extra-firm tofu, frozen for at least three days, thawed overnight, squeezed of excess water and cut into ½-inch cubes 1 tablespoon each soy sauce, oyster sauce, rice vinegar 1 teaspoon each fish sauce, hoisin sauce, hot sauce, sesame oil, brown sugar ¼ teaspoon black pepper ¼ onion, sliced and teased apart 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 cubic inch ginger, peeled and sliced 2 cups vegetable oil 4 tablespoons cornstarch (more for onion ginger garlic fritter rings) Mix all of the sauces, along with the onion, garlic, ginger and black pepper, and toss the cubes of thawed tofu in the sauce. The tofu will absorb every last drop.

Heat oil to 350 degrees in a small, deep pan suitable for frying. While the oil is heating, toss the tofu cubes and cornstarch in a bowl until the tofu is coated. Save the onions for later.

Deep-fry the cubes 2-4 minutes, depending on how dark and crispy you want them. They don’t need much.

Remove and allow to drain and cool in a colander or on paper towels.

Toss the onion sections in the cornstarch, adding more if necessary, and then fry these onions in the hot oil.

They take a bit longer to cook because of all of the water.

Don’t stir them. Let it fry into a 3-D matrix.

If serving your tofu with a stir-fry, prepare it first and set it aside while you make the stir-fry. Don’t add the tofu until serving time, or serve it on the side, shoulder to shoulder and ready to mix. Stir-fry and restaurant tofu need each other, and when you put them close enough together, they’ll figure it out. n

AskRachel

Not so novel, hidden treasures and the DEET-ails Interesting fact: Treasure hunter David Hanson, of the Colorado Springs Hansons, has sued Forest Fenn for a cool $1.5 mil because Fenn’s secret mystery treasure hunt quest contained “fraudulent statements and misleading clues.”

Dear Rachel, When can we stop using “novel” in conjunction with “coronavirus?” I mean, it’s spread throughout the entire world and has become a friggin pandemic - not exactly “novel” anymore.

But people keep using it, as if it makes them sound smarter, more worldly or scientific or something. Is there anyone out there who’s actually confused about which coronavirus we’re all referring too?

- Novelty Has Worn Off Dear Old Shiny Object, You know what else isn’t new? Novels. As in books of fiction. Not that we read them anymore, but they’ve been around in museums and libraries for hundreds of years. Centuries, even. But we still call them “novels.” I hadn’t thought of this before, but now I hate the term “classic novel.” Gah, it’s like pulling cotton balls apart, which does for me what nails on chalkboards do to other people. Let’s eradicate that phrase, and then the coronavirus, before we even worry about your little pet peeve phrase there.

– Your weekly novella, Rachel

StufftoDo

Dear Rachel, I can’t believe the Forrest Fenn treasure has been found. Searching for that was my fallback plan’s fallback plan. Not that the financial reward would be worth much if the human world ends and all that. But I banked on a certain prestige in the postapocalyptic society. Plus just a good time. So now, what other adventures and quests can I undertake to fill the void of the life I had not yet pursued?

– Procrastinator of the Found Ark Dear Colorado Jones, Someone so eclectic as to hide a multimillion-dollar treasure in the mountains and then hint at it with a poem – and you think he hasn’t hidden another treasure? Dude, he totally did. But no one is looking for this one. Sure, you have no clues, but you also have no competition. Think of the rep you’ll build for hunting a *secret* treasure. Now get out there and make Rachel proud.

– X marks my spot, Rachel Dear Rachel, I’ve heard airlines are reportedly spraying down passengers on planes. With what they’re spraying them, I haven’t a clue. Hydroxy-whatever? 5G particles? Sparkles and unicorn dust? It sounds smarter than injecting bleach and light bulbs up your yoohoo, for sure. But what could it be, and what are the odds it’s any better than the junk we normally breathe (and eat) on planes?

– The No-Tool Man

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Not Tim Taylor, It’s probably DEET. Ever notice how now DEET is the big bad? Used to be a daily dose of DEET was better than malaria and, you know, itchy mosquito bites. No one worried about the damage it was doing. Now look at the world, at all the people who have survived entire decades after being sprayed by the stuff as young, impressionable people. They’re messed up! The world is a monkey house, and they’re the chimps in charge. Here’s my novel theory: DEET begat Trumpism. Prove me wrong.

You can’t.

– Arms up, Rachel

(virtually and for reals!)

Friday12 Zoom Alice, a virtual twist on Lewis Carroll’s classic, presented by Merely Players, watch when you want, 24 hours a day, June 12-20, pay what you can. www.merelyplayers.us

Pine River Library is offering curbside checkouts Mon.-Fri., 2-6 p.m., and Sat., 10 a.m.2 p.m. For info., call 970-884-2222 or visit www.prlibrary.org/curbside-checkout-program/ Durango Public Library’s Summer Reading Program for kids, teens and adults, thru Aug. 1. Register at DurangoGov.org/library or call (970) 375-3380.

Saturday13 Durango Farmers Market, Saturdays, 8 a.m. – 12 noon, in TBK Parking Lot, across from the Transit Center. Facemasks required. www.durangofarmersmarket.com.

Upcoming Josh Hoyer & Soul Colossal perform soul, funk and R&B for Virtual Concerts @ the Park, 5:30 p.m., June 18. Livestream at www.durangoconcerts.com.

Navajo Nation Supply Drive, 3 – 6 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 419 San Juan Drive. More info at durangouu.org and click on “upcoming events.”

Black Velvet Trio performs an outdoor show, 6-9 p.m., June 19, Fox Fire Farms, Ignacio.

Monday15 Create. Innovate. Pivot. Your Business free webinar, 9 – 10:30 a.m., sponsored by the SW Colorado Small Business Development Center. Register at tinyurl.com/yanvkll2 Meditation and Dharma Talks, Mondays, 5:30- 7 p.m. online at www.durangodhar macenter.org/ Rocky Mountain UkeFest Online Ukulele Jam, 6:30 – 8 p.m. For info. or Zoom link, email: denise.leslie@gmail.com or call 970-903-6417.

Purgatory opens for summer activities, June 20. www.purgatoryresort.com iAM Music Festival concert series featuring Elder Grown, PJ Moon and the Swappers, Space Between Shadows and Profetic Calaveras, 4-10 p.m., June 27, 11th Street Station.

3rd annual Veterans Picnic & Raft Trip, free picnic and raft trips to honor veterans & their families, Sun., June 28, 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., Santa Rita Park. For info., go to www.Durango Rafting.com or email info@DurangoRafting.com

Wednesday17

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon.

Community Agriculture in the Time of Coronavirus virtual panel discussion, 5 p.m., La Plata Open Space Conservancy on Facebook.

Ongoing San Juan Ramblers, small-group, half-day hiking adventures for grades 1-6, Mon. – Fri., 9 a.m. – 1 p.m., thru June. Sponsored by San Juan Mountain Association/Durango Nature Studies. Register at: tinyurl.com/y8ynl2jm

To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

“Earth … Sky… and Soul” of Covid 19, a new show by Karyn Gabaldon, Thurs., Fri. and Sat., noon – 6 p.m. and by appt. 680 Main Ave.

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June 11, 2020 n 13

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): During her 90 years on the planet, actor and singer Marlene Dietrich reinvented herself numerous times. She had superb insight into the nature of shifting rhythms and a knack for gauging the right moment to adapt and transform. Good timing, she said, came naturally to people like her, as well as for “aerialists, jugglers, diplomats, publicists, generals, prize-fighters, revolutionists, financiers and lovers.” I would add one further category to her list: the Aries tribe. Make maximum use of your talent in the coming weeks.

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by Rob Brezsny

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A river runs through it Gorgeously rustic 5-bed, 2-bath 10 miles east of Durango in the Florida River Valley Listen to the sound of the river from the large back yard Large covered patio, attached garage

$350,000 MLS #768658

14 n June 11, 2020

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Author and theologian Frederick Buechner writes, “There is treasure buried in the field of every one of our days, even the bleakest or dullest, and it is our business to keep our eyes peeled for it.” In alignment with current astrological potentials, Taurus, I’ll name that as your key theme. More than usual, breakthroughs and revelations and catalysts are likely to be available to you in the midst of the daily slog – even when you’re feeling bored. Make it your business to be on high alert for them.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to novelist Octavia E. Butler, “Positive obsession is about not being able to stop just because you’re afraid and full of doubts.” That’s what I wish for you in the coming weeks, Gemini: positive obsession. It’s also what I expect!

My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you will have the pluck and craftiness necessary to veer away from murky, disturbing versions of obsession.

Instead, you’ll embrace the exhilarating kind of obsession that buoys your spirit in moments of uncertainty. I foresee you making progress on your most important labor of love.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): William Thomson, also known as Lord Kelvin (1824– 1907), was a Cancerian physicist and mathematician who contributed to the understanding of thermodynamics and other areas of scientific and engineering knowledge. Despite his considerable intelligence, however, he was myopic about the possibility that humans might one day fly through the air while seated inside of machines. In a 1902 interview – a year before the Wright Brothers’ breakthrough experiment – he declared, “No aeroplane will ever be successful.” I suspect you could be on the verge of passing through a Lord Kelvin phase, Cancerian. You may at times be highly insightful and at other times curiously mistaken. So I urge you to be humbly confident and confidently humble!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Marianne Williamson tells us, “Spiritual growth involves giving up the stories of your past so the universe can write a new one.” And what exactly does it mean to “give up the stories of your past?”

Here’s what I think: 1. Don’t assume that experiences you’ve had before will be repeated in the future. 2. Don’t assume that your ideas about the nature of your destiny will always be true. 3. Even good things that have happened before may be small and limited compared to the good things that could happen for you in the years to come. 4. Fully embrace the truth that the inherent nature of existence is endless transformation – which is why it’s right and natural for you to ceaselessly outgrow the old plot lines of your life story and embrace new ones.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Philosopher and astrologer Marsilio Ficino wrote, “Mortals ask God for good things every day, but they never pray that they may make good use of them.” I hope that in the coming weeks, you Virgos will disprove that cynical view of human beings. As I see it, you will be more likely than usual to actually receive the blessings you ask for. And I hope – in fact, I predict – that when you receive the blessings, you will then aggressively seek the help of God or Life or your deepest wisdom to make good use of them.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I was hiking under a blue sky in a favorite natural location: Golden Gate National Recreation Area, just north of San Francisco, where sublime vistas provide views of ocean and mountain. Although I was in a good mood, at one point I spied empty Budweiser cans amidst the wild jewel flowers. “What kind of nature-hater was so careless as to despoil this wonderland?” I fumed. For a few moments I was consumed with rage and forgot where I was. By the time I recovered my bearings, the bobcat and red-tailed hawk I’d previously been observing had disappeared.

That made me sad. My anger was justified but wasteful, irrelevant and distracting. It caused me to lose touch with some glorious beauty. Don’t be like me in the coming days, Libra. Keep your eyes on the prize.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I have more memories than if I were a thousand years old,” poet Charles Baudelaire wrote. Was he bragging or complaining? Did the weight of his past feel like a burden or did it exhilarate him and dynamize his creative powers? I’m hoping that in the coming weeks your explorations of your past will feel far more like the latter – a gift and blessing that helps you understand aspects of your history that have always been mysterious or murky.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): According to my analysis, you’re primed to navigate your way through a sweetly gritty, tenderly transformative, epically meaningful turning point in the history of your relationship with your favorite collaborator or collaborators. If that sounds too intense, you could at least accomplish an interesting, stimulating, educational shift in the way you fit together with your best ally or allies. It’s up to you, Sagittarius. How much love and intimacy and synergy can you handle? I won’t judge you harshly if you’d prefer to seek the milder version of deepening right now. Besides, you’ll probably get a chance to go further later this year.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Actor Emma Thompson tells us, “I wish I wouldn’t have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They’re kinder.” Adding to what she observes, I’ll say that for many people, their suffering has also made them smarter, more soulful and more compassionate. Often, it’s the pain they’ve suffered that has helped turn them into thoughtful companions who know how to nourish others. I urge you to make a special point to converse with people like this in the near future. In my estimation, you will benefit from intense doses of empathetic nurturing.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Last spring, in Lake Elsinore, Calif., torrential rains caused a “superbloom” of poppies. Millions of the golden-orange wildflowers covered many acres of Walker Canyon. They attracted another outbreak of beauty: thousands of painted lady butterflies, which came to visit. The magnificent explosion was so vast, it was visible from a satellite high above the Earth. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re experiencing a metaphorical superbloom of your own right now, Aquarius. I hope you will find constructive ways to channel that gorgeous fertility.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Lucumi is an Afro-American religion with Yoruban roots.

Its practitioners worship their ancestors, and seek regular contact and communion with them. According to Lucumi priestess Luisah Teish, “Sometimes the ancestors deem certain information so important that they send it to the subconscious mind without being consciously asked.” It’s my belief that all of us, whether or not we’re members of the Lucumi religion, can be in touch with the spirits of our ancestors if we would like to be – and receive useful guidance and insight from them. The coming weeks will be a time when you Pisceans are especially likely to enjoy this breakthrough. It’s more likely to happen if you have an intention to instigate it, but it may come to pass even if you don’t seek it.

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon: 9ish - 5ish Tues: 9ish - 5ish Wed: 9ish - 3ish Thurs: On delivery Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements

(Clover ++). Verifiable experience and positive references required. Send resume and salary history to 3000 Main Ave, Durango CO 81301. No phone calls please.

Tutor wanted Looking for bright, articulate, fun loving tutor for 7 year old boy and 10 year old girl Both children are gifted and wellbehaved. Would prefer teacher ed. major.

Send resume and letter of interest to: mevelync@mail.com. Job will continue through summer and next school year.

Wanted Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956, www.himkitchen.com. Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free. Hours: 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. Tues. - Sun., closed Mon. Medicinal Plant Walk on Cascade Creek. 6/13. Details: 970759-9787.

HelpWanted Cellarman / Assistant Brewer Seeking brewery laborer/helper. Work with our Head Brewer to assist in making beer, cleaning tanks and kegs, packaging, beer transfer, and other duties related to day to day operations. Must be physically fit with the ability to read and comprehend Safety Data Sheets. Please send a resume and or letter of interest w/ work history to 3000 Main Ave, Durango, CO 81301. No phone calls please.

Tap Room Manager+ Seeking responsible person to manage tap room. You will hire, train and schedule staff, oversee operations, ensure sanitation and safety, serve customers, and work with kitchen manager to deliver a high-quality experience to customers.

You need to be honest and dependable, with knowledge of POS system operation

Services RSE Handyman Service Home maintenance & repair, yard work, odd jobs 970-903-0449.

Epoxy Magic 970-799-1563 Epoxy finishes for concrete, tile, countertops and wood tables. Clear, solid color and dirty pours. Suggestions and help with any project: new construction, remodels or personal hobby ideas.

Writer’s Coaching Have you got a story to tell? Fiction, non-fiction, memoirs and scripts. Accepting new virtual clients. All ages welcome.

Call published writer’s coach Michael Thunder 769-1022 for details and an intake interview.

Custom Made Garden Gates Hand crafted in Durango Call 970398-0418 for a free consultation appointment.

telegraph

Need a Medical Marijuana Card?

Durango’s Family Health Care, a total family medical care office, is now offering medical marijuana cards to those that qualify. Walk-in OK, no appointment needed. $100 fee. We are at 29423 HWY 160. More info at Durangofhc.com Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494 Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192 Marketing Small and Local Businesses Media, social media, website content, SEO, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Email jnderge@ gmail.com

ForRent Beautiful Office Space Available inside natural health care office. Perfect for body worker or therapist.

Free: pkg, wifi & util. $400/mo.

Call 970.749.2815

HaikuMovieReview ‘The Gentlemen’ Guy Ritchie is great at making unsavory types quite loveable – Lainie Maxson

ForSale Bicycle Retro tandem, cruiser-type, excellent. $250. 970-769-2401.

Reruns Home Furnishings New arrivals: Garden items and trellises. Cute 1950’s record cabinet, end tables, lamps, Midcentury-style bar stools and so much more. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.

RealEstate Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

This week’s #onlyinDurango

Thanks to intrepid eye on the street Peter Schertz for this novel solution to dealing with Durango’s green bag problem.

June 11, 2020 n 15

Come visit our shiny new Airstream style trailer in Bird’s restaurant parking lot 2957 Main Ave. Open daily, noon ’til dusk 970 903 1300 See our Instagram and Facebook pages for updates

16 n June 11, 2020

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