Striking out, bad-old days & parental puttering

Interesting fact: The longest Hollywood writers strike was 153 days in 1988. The worst was undoubtedly in 2007-08, which: a) cut short “30Rock” and b) brought back “The Apprentice.”

Dear Rachel,

Enough with the writers strike! They have the cheapest job in the whole film and TV industry, so they should be happy to make anything they can get. They are “starving artists” for a reason, because someone is always willing to come do their job for less just to make their break. So get back to work, and keep making our shows!

– Strike Out

Dear Stick It Picket, Yeah! Writers are cheap! Anyone could do our jobs! I mean, not ANYONE, because clearly you’re not quite up to the task. But AI could do our jobs! In fact, streaming shows could get so affordable by screwing screenwriters with AI that they don’t even HAVE to sell ads anymore! So you can watch really crappy, heartless, formulaic, soul-sucking series without interruption. I’m cool with it. As long as they don’t come for the newspaper writers, I’m cool.

– Artificially, Rachel

Dear Rachel, Yeah yeah, inflation sucks. You know what sucks more? People talking about how they

Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.

Comedy Showcase, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday25

Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

Slow Bluegrass Jam, 5:30-7:30 p.m., General Palmer Hotel, 567 Main Ave.

Concerts in the Plaza – Stillwater Music, 6 p.m., Three Springs Plaza, 175 Mercado St.

Leah Orlikowski plays, 6 p.m., Durango Hot Springs.

Tim Sullivan, 6 p.m., James Ranch, Highway 550.

used to buy their sody-pop for a nickel and their gas for a dime and, I don’t know, their blow for a 20 spot or whatever a good price was in 1986. Guess what? You also made $2 a day, or maybe more than that by the ’80s. Still, everything goes up, and it always will, until the U.S. falls and our money becomes worthless. How can I tell these people to clam up without everyone else in line hating me for it?

– Money Talks

Dear Attitude Rich,

Jeez, man, do you also hate hearing people talk about how rent used to be affordable and food didn’t bankrupt a family? Actually, I hate it too, but for different reasons than you. No one should have to work more jobs to cover basic life. I also hate that I can’t pay for more things with change. I keep all my cash in coins, because if I learned anything from Rome, it’s that after the fall, those things are worth a fortune.

– Inflate this, Rachel telegraph@durangotelegraph.com we asked them to talk to us before undertaking anything, they flipped out. What’s our best strategy here?

Dear Don’t Fixit,

Dear Rachel,

My parents-in-law are always taking it on themselves to do “projects” around our house. Sometimes it’s handy, because hey, look, the faucet stopped dripping! But most of the time, it’s things like installing pavers in the yard (where we didn’t even want pavers) or rearranging our picture frames. The one time

Sublime Serenade: Music in the Mountains

Classical Chamber Concert, 7 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 1159 E. 3rd Ave.

Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Wednesday26

Restorative Yoga for Cancer, 9:30-10:45 a.m., no cost for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers, Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. For more info and to register, visit cancersupportswco.org/calendar.

Quick & Dirty Downtown Walking Tour, 10 a.m., Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad Depot.

Great Garden Series: Lavish Spring Colors Using Bulbs, 4:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

– Ain’t Broke

Let them flip out! Let them eat butt-hurt cake. Your house, your rules. I guarantee they told your spouse that at some point. Now it’s your turn. I mean, if this were a movie, I’d want you to go all tit-for-tat on their asses. Pavers in your yard? Concrete lawn art on theirs. They paint your window trim? You paint their windows. But it’s not a movie, because the screenwriters are on strike, so the best I can hope for is a reality show.

– Always breaking, never broken, Rachel

Animas City Night Bazaar, featuring local artists, food and music, 5 p.m., located in the alley behind Homeslice and Zia’s north.

Word Honey Poetry Workshop, 6 p.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave.

Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra, 558 Main Ave.

FIFA Women’s World Cup – USA vs. Netherlands, 6:30 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

Karaoke, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your deep psyche will soon well up with extra creativity and fertility. I hope you will eagerly tap into these gifts. You will be more imaginative and ingenious than usual. You will have an enhanced ability to solve problems with vigor and flair. In what areas of your life would you love to gently erupt with a burst of reinvention? Give yourself permission to change whatever bores you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My teacher Paul Foster Case said the color yellow is midway between warm, exciting red and cool, calming blue. “Yellow has an equilibrating influence,” he wrote. “It stimulates the finer functions of the brain, is of assistance in developing alertness and discrimination, and helps to establish emotional balance.” According to my astrological analysis, Taurus, you should emphasize this hue in the coming days.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Because I enjoy joking with you, I am slightly tempted right now to give you one of the following nicknames: Fidgety, Twitch, Jittery, Quivers or Shakes. But I will take a more serious tack. Let’s instead see if we can influence you to slow down, stabilize your rhythm, get really steady and secure, and stand strong in your foundational power spot. Would you consider adopting any of the following nicknames? Anchor, Unshakeable, Sturdy, Rock Solid.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The sometimes overly clever author Oscar Wilde said, “When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.” I reject that warped view of reality and assure you it will have no bearing on your life in the coming weeks. If you formulate your prayers with care and discernment, they will lead you to rewards, not problems. Maybe not the exact rewards you imagined, but still close to your hopes and helpful in the next chapter of your life story. (PS: No sloppy, lazy, careless prayers. Be precise and clear.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo theologian Bernard McGinn defines mysticism as “the consciousness of the immediate presence of God.” In other words, people having a mystic experience are filled with a visceral sensation of the divine intelligence. It’s not just an idea or concept; it’s a deeply felt communion infused with intimate tenderness. You Leos will be more likely than usual to have such contact in the coming weeks –if you want it. If you don’t want it, or don’t believe it’s real, or don’t think it’s possible, well, then, you can, of course, resist it. But why not give it a whirl? There’s nothing to lose, and it could be fun.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here’s a parable for you. Once upon a time, there was a woman who could read the future in the night sky. She regarded the planets and stars as her divine informants. On one moonless evening, she took a walk down a dirt road near her home. It was so dark, she could barely see two feet ahead of her. Oops! She should have brought a flashlight. Lost in wonder, she gazed up at the heavenly bodies, watching and listening for revelations they might have for her. Then one of the lights, the planet Saturn, whispered, “Stop and look down, friend.” The woman turned her eyes from the sky to the ground just in time to find she was two strides away from stepping into a deep, muddy hole. What’s the moral of the tale? Here are some possibilities. 1. Sometimes the heights provide useful information about the depths. 2. Soaring visions may help you tune in to practical details.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A Libran writer I know received many rejection notices when he launched his career. I was amazed at how undaunted he was. In fact, he was the opposite of daunted. He taped copies of his rejection notices to his bedroom wall. Seeing the evidence of his failures motivated him. It drove him to improve his writing and churn out even more articles. It fueled his search for a wider array of publications that might host his work. During the fourth year of this approach, luck and fate turned in his favor. Within the next eight months, 12 of his pieces appeared in print. My muses tell me, Libra, that you need to hear this story right now.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The cartoon character Bart Simpson is one of the stars of “The Simpsons” animated TV show. According to him, “Life is a paradox. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” While that principle may sometimes be true, I believe you will be exempt from it in the coming weeks. In fact, I suspect you will be as free as it’s possible for a human to be of grueling contradictions, frustrating oppositions, clashing truths and paralyzing contraries. There’s a good chance you will also outwit and avoid annoying incongruities and silly arguments.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The dragon has appeared in the myths and legends of many cultures. In some traditions, they are dangerous and predatory. In China, though, they have been harbingers of good fortune and symbols of great power. Emperors claimed the dragon as their special emblem. In assigning the dragon to be your soul creature, Sagittarius, I am drawing from Chinese lore. What would you like to accomplish that would benefit from you having access to fierce, dynamic, indomitable energy? Call on the dragon for help and power.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “There is a world of people who will love you for who you are,” wrote author Cheryl Strayed. “A whole, vibrant, f***ed-up, happy, conflicted, joyous and depressed mass of people.” In the coming months, one of your prime tasks is to specialize in communing with these folks. Make it your intention to surround yourself more and more with interesting, imperfect, ever-changing lifelovers who appreciate you for exactly who you are –and who inspire you to grow more and more into the full idiosyncratic glory of your authentic self.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): What psychic or prophet is most popular with A-list celebrities? I can assure you, it’s not me. Few of my millions of readers are world-famous. What about the planet’s most scientifically accurate astrologer? Who might that be? It ain’t me. I don’t regard astrology as a science, and I mistrust those who say it is. In my view, astrology is a mythopoetic language and psychospiritual system that nurtures our souls and helps liberate us from our conditioning. We shouldn’t try to get “scientifically accurate” information from it. Now I encourage you to do what I just did, Aquarius. Have fun telling people who you are not, what you don’t believe in, and which goals you aren’t interested in pursuing.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): To come up with your astrological reports, I study the positions of the sun, moon and planets in relation to your sign. That’s the technical part of the work. To augment this work, I meditate and pray, asking higher powers to guide me in providing useful information for you. I often consult books written by my favorite astrology writers. I also ask my deep mind to slip me info that might not be accounted for by traditional factors. How about you, Pisces? How do you do the work that you love and care about?

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com

Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.) Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2

Approximate office hours:

Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish

Thurs: On delivery

Fri: Gone fishing; call first

Announcements

Dance Classes for Adults

The desire to dance is timeless. Dance adds variety, community, and joy to your fitness routine. Find out more at durangodance.com/releve

CommercialforRent

Beautiful Bodywork Space

Part time space available on weekends and Mondays in beautiful, clean, established building full of healers. Text 970-946-1051 if interested.

Wanted

Reruns Home Furnishings

Brighten up your indoor and outdoor space –patio sets, bistros, cool garden art and décor inside and out. Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces … 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.Sat. 385-7336.

Services

HaikuMovieReview

‘The Outlaws’

Only watch the scenes with Julie Hagerty and Richard Kind. Trust me. – Lainie Maxson

CommunityService

Learn to Square Dance

Free intro on Monday nights in July, regular classes start August 7th. No partner needed. Call Carla at 970-9036478 for more info.

KDUR is Celebrating

50 years of broadcasting in 2025. With that anniversary fast approaching, staff is on the hunt for past DJs. Maybe you did a show for one year, maybe you did a show for 10. However long that was, hopefully you have a fond memory, a story or maybe even some recorded material! If you do, please email station manager Bryant Liggett, Liggett_b@fort ewis.edu or call 970.247.7261

Classes/Workshops

Daylong Meditation Retreat

Daylong retreat on loving-kindness meditation Sunday, July 30 from 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Hosted by the Durango Dharma Center. Loving-kindness meditation can open the heart and calm the mind, bringing more joy, love and peace. More info and to register: durangodharmacenter.org. Beginners welcome.

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

ForSale

Berry Plants for Sale

Elderberry, raspberry and cherry shrubs. Make your own elderberry syrup! Fresh elderflower and Nanking cherry available to make cordials or teas. So lovely and yummy! 970 9031026 or mtberrymedicine@gmail.com

Jackson Antix 1.0 Medium

Whitewater kayak. Super fun river runner/surfer. Very good condition – all outfitting intact, no tears or rips, clean cockpit. In hot pink/orange/yellow fade. Downtown Durango. Message for dets: 970-749-2595.

TaoTronics 4k Action Camera

New and in the box. Comes with user guide and all accessories that came with it: waterproof housing, handlebar/pole mount, mounts, battery, tethers, protective back cover, USB cable and lens cleaning cloth. $50.

J.marie.pace@gmail.com

Marketing Small/ Local Businesses

Media, website building and content editing, copywriting and editing, newsletters, blogs, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. www.the saltymedia.com or email jnderge @gmail.com

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing

Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

BodyWork

Integrated Massage

Deep tissue therapeutic body work @ Durango Wellness Clinic Call/text 970.403.5451 to book a session with Dennis. Inquire about Telegraph discount.

Massage by Meg Bush

LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-7590199.

Lotus Path Healing Arts

Now accepting new clients. Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

Multimodal Volunteers Needed for Bicycle and Pedestrian Documentation Project, Sept. 19-21 and 23. Volunteers will count the number of bicyclists and pedestrians that cross an intersection over a two-hour period. There are 11 local intersections with morning and evening time slots, totaling 77 slots. The city conducts counts at intersections every other year to collect accurate data to know how our infrastructure is being used, and it is necessary for grant funding for projects such as sidewalks, bicycle facilities, and transit improvements. Sign up at volunteersignup.org/EQ9BH

Calling all La Plata County Artists curators and galleries. The First annual Durango Art Week kicks off Sept. 15. Participation is open to anyone in the art field. Durango Art Week’s strives to provide an engaging and memorable experience by uniting the community through art and celebrating diversity and accessibility. If you are interested in learning more or registering, email artweek@durango.org

Volunteers Needed

Do you want to make a difference in your community and the lives of others? Alternative Horizons is in need of volunteers to staff our hotline. AH supports and empowers survivors of domestic violence. Training and ongoing support provided. Next training is Sept. 15, 16 and 23. For info. call 970-2474374 or visit alternativehorizons.org/