The Durango Telegraph, Oct. 27, 2022

by Jennaye Derge

E.

Durango,

Ear to the ground:

“As a child I once dressed as a pack of smokes. You know, because Florida.”

– Local woman reminiscing about the anything-goes heyday of Halloween costumes (which may still fly in the Sunshine State)

Oh, the horror

If you’re looking to get your Halloween fix this weekend, there are plenty of options – dress-up bicycle rides, costume parties at various bars and a haunted fruit-gleaning, not to mention all the activities happening on the day itself (we got you covered in our “Stuff to Do” section, p.12-13).

Two longtime traditions not to be missed, however, are the Elks Lodge’s “Nightmare on Elk Street Haunted House” and the Rocky Horror Show, which for the past few years has been put on at the Durango Arts Center.

Jason Lythgoe, artistic director for DAC, said the Halloween Rocky Horror Show has been a Durango tradition for about 15 years, originally held at the now-closed Henry Strater Theatre.

“It just became something that took off and everyone loved,” he said.

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PHONE: 970-259-0133

The original musical play upon which it’s based premiered in the early 1970s, a sort of reaction to the structured, standard musicals on Broadway at the time. The for-its-time risqué film explored sexuality, gender ambiguities and homosexuality (not exactly themes you’d find in “Oklahoma”). It became notorious for its over-the-top, bizarre, campy, glamrock style.

“There weren’t too many plays or musicals out there that let the freak flag fly,” Lythgoe said. “It was something new and exciting.”

While the musical gained a cult following, it wasn’t until it was adapted into a movie, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” in 1975, that it reached mainstream audiences. In the 1980s, late-night “Shadow Cast” performances – when ensembles would act out the movie while it was playing – became pop culture phenomena.

“This is a classic that still resonates with people,” Lythgoe said.

This year, the show will have a “comic book feel” with gender-bending roles. You can catch the “Rocky Horror Show” on Friday and Saturday at 7 and 10 p.m., and Sunday at 7 p.m.

Before or after, check out another longtime staple – the Elks Lodge’s “Nightmare on Elk Street.” Now in its seventh year, Suzanne O’Nan, club manager, said the haunted house has become the lodge’s biggest fundraiser of the year.

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This year’s theme is “Into the Woods,” so be prepared for witches, Hansel & Gretel and Harry Potter vibes. But be forewarned, this is not a kidfriendly event. “It’s pretty scary,” O’Nan warned.

The Elks Lodge does offer a kid-friendly event on Saturday from 2 - 4 p.m. Otherwise, you can test your mettle in the haunted house Friday, Saturday and Monday, 6 - 10 p.m.

Housing hell

I’ve lived in Durango for 16 years, which I think certifies me as a gritty local who is allowed to be a little curmudgeonly. And that is how I get when I see a house being knocked down to build a bigger one or another rental turned into a vacation home. I have to remind myself, through my clamped jaw, that it’s fine.

It’s fine, they’re fine, everything is fine. I’m fine.

Except that I’m not fine, because within the last month, I’ve had to find a new place to rent, and while we already know about “the housing situation,” let me tell you that you don’t know about the housing situation.

You don’t know, because I myself thought I knew. But I didn’t realize how bad it actually was until I was pushed off the cliff and into the rental market – aka hours of searching in a fit of insane laughter.

The first rental I looked at when I was still naive and thought $1,000 for a studio was expensive was the basement of a garage. It was already furnished with a faux torn-up leather couch and a pool table as a focal point. There was a small space for a twin-sized bed behind the couch and under the spiral staircase that led to nowhere. There, the landlord said, was where the previous tenants slept.

But the previous tenants were the homeowner’s sons who would be coming home from college in the spring to kick me (or whomever rented the space) out, so they could play pool and hang out on their faux leather couch with their dumb, gross college friends. (I’m sure they’re fine. Everything is fine. I’m fine). There was a line of hungry renters behind me who were slobbering all over that basement studio, but I passed on it for what I thought were obvious reasons, and then I quickly learned that was a huge mistake.

The next couple houses I looked at were similar but way more expensive. They were not great situations, but I learned my lesson – that not-great situations these days are actually really great situations.

One old studio was a knockdown. Literally, the homeowners told me their plan was to knock it down. The ad for the knockdown was posted on the internet for 28 minutes. When I called – without spending any time looking through the photos, no time for that – the voicemail had already been changed: “If you’re calling about the apartment, leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

The man called me back about 20 minutes later, told me he “added me to the list,” and that he’d get back to me as soon as he could. I never heard back from him.

Thumbin’It

Plans for the Village at Wolf Creek again derailed after a judge found the environmental review inadequate. We can make it simple: new resort for 10,000 people atop a fragile high alpine landscape = bad.

NASA officially launching a team to study UFOs. It’s about time. And when we find them, can we please give them Kanye? Or Ye? Or whatever he’s calling himself.

A 3-year-old Oklahoma boy dressing up as perhaps the best Halloween costume ever: a fart cloud. Oh yes, wrapped in brown/green fabric, equipped with a fart machine, this kid has given us hope for humanity.

Another house I inquired about was asking for bribes. Whoever could pay in advance for the most number of months won the house. I could not, so I did not win the house.

There was one house in Aztec that looked promising and in my price range, but it didn’t allow dogs. Absolutely not. Not even a small, well-behaved one. Don’t even ask.

The following weeks, I looked at converted garages, shower-less apartments and houses that came with unmentioned, but seemingly fine, roommates. Single rooms in college houses were going for $1,200, and one-bedroom homes were going for $2,000-$3,000. Most, if not all, houses excitedly boasted that they were “fully furnished!” and that also the lease would end in April. It was always at the end of April or May, because that is when tourists come back to vacation in their sometimes-homes and sit on the furniture that could not be moved.

Then these homeowners would make eye contact with me, and say – to my face – that “fully furnished” was a good thing; it was a good thing that the house would come filled with their stuff. It was a good thing they could store it in my living space. And then they would keep eye contact and ask for first and last month’s rent, as well as a deposit for me and my dog.

They’d say all this to my face.

So, I started to ask them to knock off $100 so I could store my stuff in a storage unit. They all said no, and we all had a standoff about it, staring at each other in our faces, and I remained houseless.

I never wanted to be the one to bitch about housing, because it’s a dead horse, and we all keep beating it by complaining. We shrug our shoulders and say things like, “That’s just how things are.” Then we keep scraping for pennies and asking our friends if they know of places to live.

One friend told me about a studio about 20 miles outside of town that his girlfriend was renting out for $1,000, and when I asked him why she was charging so much for a place so far out of town, he responded, because she could. Because that is where “the market is at,” and the market doesn’t care that Durango is my home and has been for a long time. And the market doesn’t care that I’d like to continue living here.

So, until we get real, I’ll keep checking Craigslist, Facebook and Zillow every day. Or maybe I’ll knock on doors and make cold calls to random 970 phone numbers asking if someone knows of a place where this gritty local curmudgeon can live. Even if it’s a shower-less, twin-bed space underneath a spiral staircase.

– Jennaye Derge

SignoftheDownfall:

More bad news on the zebra mussel front with discovery of the invasive species at Highline Lake turning into a full-blown infestation, making it the first body of water in Colorado to be designated “infested.”

A new law in Texas that allows residents to carry handguns in public without training or having to get permits. Given what just happened in Uvalde, this one speaks for itself.

Lauren Boebert again making an a** of herself by calling women “lesser vessels” who are “frail” and need “masculinity in their lives.” Bobo –maybe if you ditched the stilettos you could do more for yourself.

Projesters

Members of “Science Rebellion,” a German group of climate protesters, glued their hands to the floor of a Volkswagen factory last week and demanded that Germany be decarbonized. But of course, they were that new breed of soft protestors, so one started complaining that VW wasn’t providing food, another complained that he needed to use the restroom, and their leader demanded medical attention, because his “hand hurt.” All gave up in less than a day and were arrested, which is farfanoogin ridiculous.

Onika

“‘The Conjuring.’ But at least I’d know if religion was real.”

James

“‘It’ – watched it when a babysitter was over and was traumatized for years.”

Desiree

“‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre.’ Trapped in Texas with someone trying to murder me? No thanks.”

Dan

Q With ghosts and ghouls set to come out Monday, the Telegraph asked: “What horror flick would you not want to be stuck in?”

Abby

“‘Nightmare on Elm St.’ It’d be terrible trapped in a dream.”

“‘Boogeyman.’ Things in the shadows are freaky!”

Pawsitive thinking

I know we should be writing about our political preferences this close to the election, but jeez oh jeez. The thought of someone who is about to vote for the likes of Lauren Boebert over an actual sane human being like Adam Frisch – or someone who is about to vote for the hubris of newcomer Shelli Shaw over the hardestworking representative Barbara McLachlan – and actually read anything I would say and change their mind is... well, about as likely as me transforming into a cat.

Not that I wouldn’t entertain the idea. Especially after reading the Oct. 13 letter-to-the-editor “Boebert’s Cat-Astrophe” by Addyson Santese. Who is this woman, and has the Telegraph tried to hire her on as part of your star-studded cast? Her letter was about the best thing I have read in a long time. OK, so maybe I take that last line back, because I don’t want to come across as someone who doesn’t truly appreciate the wordsmithing prowess of the likes of your staff. But seriously, Addyson should be approached to try her hand at some regular editorial stuff for the Telegraph, because her letter was brilliant, and I, for one, would like to hear more of what she has to say, not just about cats and cat politics, but birds and bird religion, dogs and the dog days of climate change, and anything else she may feel inspired to write about.

Editor’s note: We have ;)

Keep your money

By voting no on ballot issue 2A, you are giving people the power to decide how to best use the excess lodgers’ tax. For many families, housing costs, gas prices and food prices have been devastating the past couple years, and a tax refund would help keep us afloat. The City of Durango is sitting on millions and millions of dollars; they don’t need more money.

The city has tied the lodgers’ tax to what many consider is a worthwhile cause: housing. However, the city has yet to show they actually have a need for this money. Our governor recognized that inflation and wage stagnation are crippling the current citizens; he issued similar tax rebates to help us out. Our city councilors are behaving contrary to our governor –they don’t realize we have been struggling, while they have been searching for places to stash money. If you really think the city can spend our money better than we can, please vote no on 2A, and then take your refund down to the city. A yes vote will take money away from your fellow citizens who could really use a little help.

– John Simpson, Durango

“Yes” for Judge Woods

tention vote for Judge Anne K. Woods.

Partisans have taken aim at Woods as part of a campaign narrative of “rampant runaway crime,” but the facts don’t support the attacks. Look no further than the online District Attorney’s Data Dashboard:

1. La Plata County crime has not spiked since Woods’ 2020 appointment.

2. Cases filed in 2020/21 are lower than in 2017/18/19.

3. Recidivism rates have declined for people serving non incarcerative sentences.

4. Felonies and violent crime referrals have been flat since 2017.

The attacks on Woods focus on a handful of cases, rather than the thousands of others over which she has presided. They also ignore the findings of the nonpartisan Judicial Performance Commission, which concluded that Woods “meets performance standards.” It added that “the public still may be partially anchored to the view that Judge Woods is a pro-defense judge, but the Commission noted a significant increase in cash bail and sentences above the minimum since the interim evaluation.”

pointed in Colorado history. She took the criticism and advice from her interim performance review seriously and has applied it to her application of the law; she will only continue to improve with experience. The Judicial Performance Commission noted that improvement in their recommendation for retention. We should as well.

Please help keep our local judiciary moving in the right direction, and resist the smear campaign being leveled at Woods; vote “yes” for retention and to allow her to continue her good work on our behalf.

– Scott M. Wilson, Durango

Go, Jack, go

– Mary Oswald, Durango

As a life long Independent, I find the increasing politicization of the judiciary troubling, and it seems to have made its way into what should be an objective judicial re-

Woods has made life better for countless people by treating them fairly and, in many cases, allowing them to keep their jobs, keep their housing and to address the underlying issues that brought them before her in the first place. She holds individuals accountable, but treats both offenders and victims with compassion and respect.

Woods is the youngest female judge ap-

I’ve known Jack Turner and his family for more than 40 years. Integrity is their backbone. As a longtime resident of La Plata County, I believe he understands our challenges and his platform presents solid answers. Jack has been an active part of the community since we were in the travel industry together, and his commitment to improve our community is admirable. Jack’s solution-oriented approach is focused on fixing the problem at the beginning of the process, at the source. His focus on responsible growth will be a strong asset to the future of Durango. His ability to connect, listen and respond to individual needs without distraction is what drives him. He represents La Plata County. He represents and cares about all of us.

– Jaime Wisner, Durango

Police with McLachlan

On behalf of the Colorado Fraternal Order of Police, I want to share our full support for Rep. Barbara McLachlan’s reelection. McLachlan has been a partner with law enforcement at the state Capitol and has worked with us on legislation that will help keep officers safer, help fill many shortages in officers across Colorado and allow us to better protect our communities.

McLachlan provides an important voice on public safety at the Capitol partnered with law enforcement to put victims and community members first when considering legislation that impacts public safety.

She is committed to making sure we have the tools necessary to hold criminals accountable. She is a strong voice for rural Colorado, offering a critical perspective that rural issues are different from metro areas, and thus require local solutions.

McLachlan was a key vote on legislation during the 2022 session to address Colorado’s deadly fentanyl crisis. Her efforts at the Capitol ensured that the bill became law. In addition, she sponsored a bipartisan bill that will help short-staffed agencies across Colorado recruit officers and then help those officers be able to live where they work. And last year, McLachlan was instrumental in removing language from legislation that would have changed how officers could use force, an untested new standard that would have put officers’ and community members’ lives at risk.

The Colorado FOP stands firmly with McLachlan. We ask that voters do the same.

– Stephen Schulz, Longmont

Republican cutting

Before you vote in the midterms, you should know that if Republicans take control of the House, they are planning to cut Medicare and Social Security.

I am retired and enjoy the benefits of these programs, having paid into Social Security my whole working life. Medicare is quite cost-effective and vastly more efficient than private health insurance. Social Security and Medicare have allowed older Americans to live happy, dignified lives. Without these programs, we would have a huge increase in poverty and early death.

Four Republicans hoping to become chair of the House Budget Committee are talking about cutting these programs if they regain a majority. They plan to hold the federal debt ceiling hostage, risking great damage to our fragile economy, in order to help their rich friends avoid taxes.

In the “Protecting and Preserving Social Security Act,” Democrats have proposed a way to make Social Security solvent far into the future. Social Security is funded by payroll taxes, which are capped at $147,000 annual income. This act would remove that cap, requiring the superwealthy to pay their fair share.

If you are young, you should know that Social Security and Medicare can be there for you, but you have to protect them now. Vote for the party that wants our whole society to thrive, not the one that wants to funnel more money to the rich at the expense of the rest of us.

Vote Democrat.

– Adele Riffe, Hesperus

D-Tooned/

Rob Pudim

Back to work

Regarding Jena Griswold, our extraordinary incumbent Secretary of State, I’m in favor of both lengthier, well documented letters-to-the-editor and quickread opinions.

My bottom line – I fully endorse and work hard on behalf of this brilliant, energetic, “get-it-done” stateswoman. She has led the charge, not only in Colorado, but

nationwide for strong policy and law for our inalienable right and ease to vote. She will continue to protect and advocate for us with gusto in a second term.

I was shocked at The Durango Herald’s endorsement of her opponent, especially with the extensive statement within the endorsement of Griswold’s accomplishments.

Now, back to the work. May voter’s wisdom prevail when ballots are in hand.

– Kathleen Adams, Durango

Ballot Cheat Sheet 2022

If the daily text messages from “Jay with an update” about Democrats eating babies or the weird ads on sports radio saying everyone who doesn’t align with your political beliefs should go to jail weren’t enough to tip you off: it’s election season.

Scanning through the dizzying array of propositions, amendments, TABOR and state income tax adjustments, you – like us – may be asking yourself: Why is this happening to me?

Well, the answer is pretty clear: We live in a democracy, and every now and then, we have to give up a little bit of our time –one less TikTok, maybe 20 minutes off your mountain bike ride – to participate.

And, to be fair, this election could have some tantalizing ramifications. Legalizing psychedelic mushrooms? Tell us more. Alcohol home-delivery? I’m listening. Setting up a fund to help normal people with affordable housing? YUP.

But first, we do have to get through some tedious ones, including – and we’re not effin’ kidding – some stuff about the laws around bingo. But we’re strong; we can do this together. And remember to mail your ballots back at least a week before Election Day or, even easier, deposit it in one of the many drop boxes around town.

Amendment D: New 23rd Judicial District Judges

The 411: Asks voters to approve a new judicial district to serve Douglas, Elbert and Lincoln counties. After reading about it, the measure seems mostly clerical but requires voter approval. We see no strong support or opposition and recommend voting yes. One down! Look how easy that was.

Amendment E: Tax Exemption for Gold Star spouses

The 411: For starters, “Gold Star Families” is a designation in Colorado for families who have had military members die in the line of duty or from injuries related to their service. If passed, this amendment would allow Gold Star spouses to claim a property tax break that exempts 50% of the

first $200,000 of their home’s value. In Colorado, this would apply to about 490 Gold Star spouses.

Notably, counties would not lose that revenue as the state reimburses for homestead tax exemptions. Ultimately, it would save Gold Star spouses $480 to $630 a year and increase the state budget by about $288,000.

Those in favor say: Gold Star spouses may suffer financially after losing their husband or wife, and this is a way to further pay respect for their service.

Those against it say: There’s really not much opposition here. The only criticism is that the amendment does not benefit Gold Star spouses who don’t own homes.

How we’re voting: Seems like an easy and uncontroversial choice. Yes.

Amendment F: Charitable Bingo and Raffle Rules

The 411: Please don’t hate us – we warned you there was one about bingo. Here we go: as it stands, nonprofits in Colorado can hold bingo and raffling events, but the nonprofits need to be 5 years old, and only unpaid volunteers can run the games. This amendment, if passed, would allow nonprofits just 3 years old to apply for a bingo-raffle license and allow charities to pay operators running the game (but does not require it).

Those in favor say: Colorado’s bingoraffle regulations are wildly out-of-date,

which has hampered an easy fundraising opportunity for nonprofits. Bingo-raffle events brought in $121 million to nonprofits in Colorado in 2021. And, by not allowing charities to pay game operators, they must rely on volunteers. Corky Kyle, of the Colorado Charitable Bingo Association (real thing!), says it has led to a “death spiral’’ of the game in the state.

Those against it say: The amendment would pressure nonprofits to pay game operators, meaning less money raised for their cause. Other critics say professionalizing bingo-raffle games could undercut the purpose of charitable fundraising.

How we’re voting: Yes. Big win for bingo; big win for us all.

Coloradans will soon be able to legally trip the light fantastic if Proposition 122 passes, legalizing psilocybin mushrooms.

Mid-term mania got you down? The Tele’s got you

Free School Meals

The 411: Proposition FF would create the “Healthy School Meals for All” program that offers free school lunches to students, regardless of their families’ economic status. Because of the pandemic, this program has essentially been in place the past few years but is set to expire in 2025. Previously, free lunches were limited to students who qualified based on their families’ income, about 40% – or 355,000 – of all Colorado K-12 students (though not all apply for the program).

The program would be funded by reducing the amount of state income tax deductions households that earn more than $300,000 can claim, which would impact the top 3% earners in Colorado. Anyone who earns under $300,000 would not be affected. In all, it would cost about $100 million a year to fund the program.

Those in favor say: Providing meals to children is a basic need that helps with their overall health and success in school. It would also help ease the rising cost of living in the state. Also, many families/kids are embarrassed about the supposed stigma of applying for free meals; this would level the playing field. And, some families are just above the qualifying income level for free lunches, yet still struggle to get by. (Oh, did we mention, the proposition would reimburse school districts that buy from local farmers and ranchers?)

Those against it say: Why should we spend money on students whose families don’t need financial assistance? And, with so many needs in education, is it wise to raise taxes to spend money on middle-toupper income families, instead of paying teachers more? Of note: if passed, 615,000 students above the qualifying income level would be eligible for free meals, an increase of 125%.

How we’re voting: Sure, money could probably be better spent on raising teacher salaries rather than feeding kids whose families don’t need financial relief. But where’s that proposal in real life? In front of us is a measure to help all kids have access to free, healthier meals, at the expense of the top 3% of earners in Colorado. Tax the rich, feed the children, and vote yes.

Proposition GG: Adding Tax Info Tables to Petitions, Ballots

The 411: Oh god help us, TABOR! We promise, we’ll make this one quick! This proposition would require the state to more

prominently display a detailed table/graph about how citizen-initiated ballot measures that change the income tax rate would affect Coloradans. Notably, this information is already included in the Blue Book.

Those in favor say: Putting information on how income tax adjustments affect Coloradans is a transparency issue that would show a fuller picture. Also, in the face of Republicans cutting income tax, the information shows how tax cuts deliver greater savings to the wealthiest at the expense of public services.

Those against it say: It’s unnecessary, given this exact information is already available in the Blue Book. Also, ballots are already long and complicated; why add to that? And, the additional paper will cost taxpayers more for printed ballots.

How we’re voting: This effort seems kinda silly, seeing as the information is already provided in the Blue Book, but hey, does everyone actually open the Blue Book? I mean, look at you – you’ve come here of all places for the low-down! We suppose nothing’s wrong with more transparency, so we’re voting yes.

Proposition 121: State Income Tax Rate Reduction

The 411: Speaking of state income tax reductions, here comes one now! Proposition 121 would reduce the state’s individual and corporate income tax rate from the current rate of 4.63% to 4.55%. In practice, that means about 65% of Colorado taxpayers would receive a tax cut of less than $63 a year. At the extremes: People making more than $1 million would save $6,647, and those making $14,999 or less would save $7. According to state records, about half the savings would go to people who make more than a million a year, who represent less than 1% of the population.

Lowering taxes, of course, comes at the expense of state funding. If passed, it’s estimated state tax revenue would decrease by $412.6 million in the 2023-24 fiscal year. Colorado voters approved an income tax reduction in 2020.

Those in favor say: Less taxes means more money in your pocket, and hey, living ain’t cheap in Colorado. FYI: the proposition is backed by a group that wants to eliminate the state income tax altogether, Path 2 Zero, something Colorado’s Democratic Gov. Jared Polis has supported, too.

Those against it say: When taxes are lowered, it comes at the expense of impor-

tant public services, like education, health care, public safety, etc. And, this measure helps wealthy people more than normal Coloradans. They’d prefer a progressive tax policy code that taxes people based on how much they earn (instead of Colorado’s flat income tax rate).

How we’re voting: Another tough one. Yes, saving money at a time when the cost of living is insane sounds great. But, it seems like this is more of a benefit to the wealthy at the expense of services that benefit the working class. We’re voting no. (But hey, let’s see those opponents of this proposition actually work on a progressive tax policy overhaul, of which we’re all in favor.)

Proposition 122: Legalizing Psilocybin and Psilocin

The 411: Finally! Drugs! And after the last few ballot measures, we’re gonna need em’. Joking aside, if passed, Proposition 122 would legalize psychedelic mushrooms in Colorado for people 21 and over, who could then grow and share – but not sell – the mind-altering fungi. Also, the measure would allow state-licensed “healing centers” that would allow people to consume mushrooms in a controlled environment. No retail sales allowed, at all. In three years, the state would have the option to expand legalization to other hallucinogenic drugs: mescaline, DMT and ibogaine.

Those in favor say: Psilocybin and psilocin have shown promising results for people with depression, anxiety and PTSD as well as alcohol/nicotine addiction. And, passing the proposition would effectively decriminalize a drug that’s really not considered dangerous (it would still be illegal at the federal level). Just recently, Denver decriminalized mushrooms, and the world didn’t cave in.

Those against it say: Moms are leading the charge in this one through the group Blue Rising, which is concerned about children/teens having easy access to a psychedelic drug. Critics are concerned legalizing mushrooms will lead to a recreational-type industry, not unlike what happened with marijuana. And, if it’s all about mental health, opponents (some who are even pro-shrooms) say we should wait for science to dictate when and how we administer the drug.

How we’re voting: Yes. And, we get it: of course some people want this passed just to get high, and yeah, we hear the concern that it would be better to wait for more definitive science. But psilocybin and psilocin really seem to be a great alternative for some people seeking mental health treatments. And what really sells us here is the decriminalizing aspect – no way should possessing mushrooms be a crime.

Free school lunches for all Colorado kids, regardless of family income, could be back on the menu permanently if Prop FF passes.

Proposition 123: Fund for Affordable Housing

The 411: If passed, this measure would dedicate nearly $300 million a year to help local governments and nonprofits bring affordable/workforce housing to Colorado – all without raising taxes (though it might eat into those TABOR returns). Instead, it would set aside up to 0.1% of taxable income.

In practice, Proposition 123 would help develop affordable multi-family rental units, increase home ownership rates and provide down payment assistance for first-time homebuyers. It would also help people experiencing homelessness with rental assistance and create eviction defense programs. The measure also requires local governments that participate to commit to increasing affordable housing by 3% each year and create a fast-track approval process for projects.

What exactly is affordable housing, you ask? Proposition 123 defines it as a rental or mortgage that does not exceed 30% of a household’s income.

Those in favor say: In a recent poll, 86% of Coloradans listed the cost of housing as an “extremely serious” problem. Locals are being pushed out, and the workforce is suffering. This measure would open up opportunities for teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc. to buy homes. Built in are measures to allow local governments flexibility to meet their community’s needs. And it provides renters a path to home ownership.

Those against it say: We should instead reduce government regulations that create barriers to new housing (not a bad point), like zoning and building codes. When the TABOR cap on growth and spending isn’t exceeded, this measure could stress the state budget.

How we’re voting: If we could get our hands on those elusive ballots sent to your dead great-grandfather, we’d vote yes every time. The housing crisis is perhaps the biggest issue in the state, and if passed, it would dedicate $300 million – six times what Colorado currently spends on housing – to the problem. And, available funding could increase in subsequent years as the economy grows.

Proposition 123: Increasing the Number of Liquor Store Locations

The 411: Right now, existing liquor stores can have only three locations in the state (which increases to four in 2027). This measure would increase the allowable amount over the next few years, eventually implementing no cap in 2037.

Those in favor say: It’s a free market. Of note: the biggest backer of this proposition is Total Wine & More, a national liquor store chain.

Those against it say: Smaller liquor store retailers will be pushed out of business by chains that have greater buying power and can sell products cheaper. Opponents say the current law was created to protect independent liquor stores, of which there are 1,600 in the state, from this exact threat.

How we’re voting: Nah. We like our local, independent liquor stores.

Proposition 125: Allow Grocery Stores and Convenience Stores to Sell Wine

The 411: This measure would allow grocers and convenience stores to sell wine, sake, cider, mead and the like (not hard liquor). Reminder: In 2019, voters passed a measure to allow these retailers to sell full-strength beer.

Those in favor say: It’s a matter of convenience; people should be allowed to pick up a bottle of wine while they shop for

groceries. Fears are overblown: when full-strength beer was legalized, independent liquor stores didn’t close down. And, wine in grocery stores is already set to take place in 2027.

Those against it say: Small liquor stores – still feeling the pain of supermarkets allowed to sell full-strength beer – will lose business, especially given the fact that being exclusively allowed to sell wine has helped them stay afloat. The Colorado Licensed Beverage Association has said that up to half of the state’s liquor stores could go out of business if Prop 125 passes.

How we’re voting: While picking up a bottle of wine while you shop would provide short-term convenience, we don’t think it’s worth it at the expense of hurting our local liquor stores. Vote no.

Proposition 126: Third-Party Delivery of Alcohol Beverages

The 411: Remember during the pandemic when you could order Nayarit and also have a margarita delivered? Ah, that was nice. Not the pandemic, but the to-your-door marg service. Proposition 126 would keep that service legal by letting third-party companies, like DoorDash and UberEats, continue to deliver (the exemption otherwise would expire in 2025).

Those in favor say: Customers love the service, so why not? And, it keeps open an important revenue stream for restaurants.

Those against it say: Who is liable should something go awry: the restaurants or the delivery app? But, a provision in Proposition 126 says stores are not liable once alcohol leaves the premises.

How we’re voting: Yes. It’s already been legal the past 2½ years, and no major red flags have been raised. Plus, it’s legal in, like, 26 other states.

Ballot issue #2A

The 411: This is the only Durango-specific measure on the ballot. Essentially, in April 2021, when voters decided to raise the lodgers tax, local officials underestimated the returns. A lodgers tax is a tax on visitors who stay in hotels, B&Bs, vacation rentals, etc. The majority of this money now goes to advocate for tourism. The city predicts it will have about $1.1 million in excess funds from both last year and this year. When revenues exceed estimates, that money is required to go back to Durango taxpayers – about $218 per utility account.

City councilors, however, decided to put a measure on the ballot to ask residents if they would prefer to see that money go to other uses, specifically:

• 66% for affordable/workforce housing programs.

• 20% for transportation, parking and transit services, as well as equipment and facilities.

• 14% for arts and cultural events, programs and facilities.

Those in favor say: Putting excess lodgers tax revenues toward important issues, namely affordable/workforce housing, is a better use of funds than giving relatively small returns to homeowners. What’s more important: a couple hundred bucks, or a bigger impact for the greater good?

Those against it say: The cost of living has skyrocketed in Durango, and any bit helps. The original lodgers tax increase, when passed, called for excesses to be returned to residents, and now the city wants to change that.

How we’re voting: Ahhhh, can we just order a to-go margarita already? We grappled with this one. With how expensive this freaking town is, a couple hundred is nothing to sneeze at. However, the returns go only to homeowners (not that homeowners aren’t scraping by) who may be a little better off. And, above all, the fabric and function of this town is in peril, as we don’t have housing for our restaurant workers, nurses, teachers, you name it. This at least helps. Vote yes, put the pen down, and go order a marg – or several.

Jack Turner

Meet the Candidates

Commissioner hopefuls sound off on the important stuff

Turner Church Blake

Day job: Location scout and manager – for film, television and commercials

On the weekends you can find me: Some form of outdoor life-risking recreation, like skiing or biking. Or doing chores as a responsible, respectful domestic associate (i.e. husband).

One thing people may not know about me: I’m left-handed. Requires one to be adaptable and innovative.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? “The Rise and Fall of Bossanova,” by P C III (Google it).

Best Halloween costume you’ve ever dressed up as? I invoke my 5th Amendment rights against self-embarrassment.

How would you address affordable housing? Our communities will not thrive if families, young adults, students, homegrown seniors and [your name here] cannot afford the basic cost of housing –that’s what the workforce is. If long-time locals are pushed out, our history and traditions are compromised. Nearly every business I know is compromised by a shortage of staff who are unable to find suitable, fairly priced housing. Our workforce is not lazy as some would have you believe, they are stressed to the limit.

Contributing solutions include: revise land use, building code and permit administration to fast-track sensible projects; public/private partnerships and incentives; infrastructure; and revising regulations for vacation rentals that remove housing from our workforce, students, families and seniors.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? If elected, one of my key goals is to inspire, persuade, cajole – and beg if needed – my elected colleagues and fellow citizens to acknowledge that we can’t maintain the same processes, traditions and behaviors that got us here in the first place. Our dedica-

tion must be to results, not process. Skeptics and the entrenched will find a way to criticize such lofty ambition, but it’s big thinking that changes the world, not surrender.

Aside from affordable housing, what do you see as the biggest issue facing La Plata County, and how do you plan on addressing it? The “biggest issue” facing La Plata County is the willingness of elected officials, state/county/city staff, public agencies (fire districts, San Juan Basin Health, etc.), educational institutions, businesses, nonprofits and YOU to work together. Political status quo has failed to provide the incentives, openness, honesty and ambition to allow a path to a better way.

Clyde Church

Day job: La Plata County commissioner, volunteer with Rotary and on homeowners’ association Firewise Team.

On the weekends you can find me: Doing fire mitigation and forest restoration work with chainsaw and tractor.

One thing people may not know about me: I’m an ex-cowboy. Was a lousy team roper in jackpot rodeos in college.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? “Star Wars Main Theme.”

Best Halloween costume you’ve ever dressed up as? Pirate captain.

How would you address affordable housing? I would work collaboratively using county, state and federal funds to begin land-banking and expand infrastructure development. I’d use revolving loan funds to help leverage grants to reduce the cost of development and final sales price. I’d ensure we implement the recommended Land-Use Code Fast Track Process for attainable housing.

I’d continue to work on short-term rental taxation issues that would provide additional funds for new housing. In the land-use code, I’d provide density bonuses for developers building workforce housing. I’d work with innovative local companies to use locally sourced lumber and materials to design and build modular homes and tiny houses. Then I’d push to modify the land-use code to provide new locations for tiny home parks.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? The availability and distribution of water. This limits our growth. To the rural housing developer, it means proximity to wells and pipelines become limiting factors on growth. To the ag producer, it means shorter irrigation and growing seasons.

To our towns, it starts with conservation of the water we have. It pushes us to limit the size of lawns and to incentivize native and xeric plantings, encouraging

the development of greywater systems for gardens.

Aside from affordable housing, what do you see as the biggest issue facing La Plata County, and how do you plan on addressing it? Increasing our work in fire mitigation is essential to protect lives, property and our economy. We live in a fire-prone forest and need to become a fire-adapted community. This means we need to harden our homes to withstand or minimize fire damage, in town and out, and we need fuel breaks around developments and towns to minimize the chance a fire can grow so large that it is out of control for weeks at a time.

Brad Blake

Day job: Working on projects.

On the weekends you can find me: Helping our kids, in the mountains biking and hiking in some of the most beautiful places in the Four Corners, or skiing at Purgatory.

One thing people may not know about me: I studied finance and photography in college and worked in advertising after college.

What song would you want your music player to be stuck on? Anything by Bob Seger or Eagles

Best Halloween costume you’ve ever dressed up as? Gandalf.

How would you address affordable housing? Help with infrastructure and fees, and lower regulation so cost to build is diminished.

If elected, what issue would you bring into the spotlight? The need for water in growth areas of the county.

Aside from affordable housing, what do you see as the biggest issue facing La Plata County, and how do you plan on addressing it?  Public infrastructure to the growth areas of the county, addressed through private/public collaboration.

Stuff to Do Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

Thursday27

Devo Dress Up & Ride Bikes, meet at Durango Rec Center at 4 p.m. and ride to Powerhouse Science Center for Halloween party.

Ska-BQ with Randy Crumbaugh, 5 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Durango Green Drinks, 5-7 p.m., 11th St. Station.

The Wild Roses Gang plays, 5 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Bingo Night, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Meditation, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave, Suite 109.

Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center.

La La Bones plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Stillhouse Junkies play w/Wood Belly, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Friday28

Fall Festival, pumpkin patch, corn maze and family activities, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Jack-A-Lope Acres, 7195 CR 318.

20MOONS presents “Boxes Branches and Thread,” a living installation, 4-8 p.m., Stillwater Music, 1316 Main Ave., Suite C.

Halloween Party with “Ghostbusters” movie showing, 5 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, Vallecito.

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Jack Ellis & Larry Carver play, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Bluegrouse plays, 6 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Nightmare on Elk Street Haunted House, 6 p.m., Durango Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

“Anywhere from Here,” a new ski film from Matchstick Productions, 6:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Lizard Head Quartet plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Organist Kyle Osborne performs, 7 p.m., St. Marks Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave.

Rocky Horror Show, 7 and 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Stillhouse Junkies play w/High Country Hustle, 7 p.m., Animas City Theatre.

Dreem Machine plays, 7-10 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Spring Bake, Bad Fix & Acid Wrench play, 8 p.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave.

Bicycle Karaoke Celebration, part of Spoketober events, 8 p.m., 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E. 8th Ave.

“Maleficent” movie showing, 8 p.m., Jack-A-Lope Acres, 7195 County Road 318.

DJ San Juan, 10 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main.

Saturday29

Durango Farmers Market, 9 a.m.-12 noon, TBK Bank parking lot, live music by Jackson Martin Project.

Animas River Fall Cleanup, 9 a.m.-12 noon, Santa Rita Park. Bring gloves, water and layers. Lunch provided for volunteers.

Fall Festival, pumpkin patch, corn maze and family activities, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Jack-A-Lope Acres, 7195 CR 318.

Haunted Hallow-Glean Community Apple Harvest, 11 a.m.-1 p.m., Durango/Hermosa area. RSVP at goodfoodcollective.org/events-volunteering.

Three Springs Fall Festival, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., Three Springs Plaza. Live music by Black Velvet.

20MOONS presents “Boxes Branches and Thread,” a living installation, 12 noon-8 p.m., Stillwater Music, 1316 Main Ave., Suite C.

Chad MacCluskey plays, 1-4 p.m., 11th St. Station.

Lawn Chair Kings play, Halloween costume party, 36 p.m., Mancos Brewing.

Fall Festival, 3 p.m., Durango Dance, 3416 Main Ave., Suite 101.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted.

Nightmare on Elk Street Haunted House, 6 p.m., Durango Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

Matt Rupnow plays, 6 p.m., The Office, 699 Main.

DHS Troupe 1096 presents “Anastasia,” 7 p.m., DHS Auditorium. Tickets at: troupe1096.weebly.com

Nu Bass Theory plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th Street Station.

Rocky Horror Show, 7 and 10 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Freak Show, Halloween party, The Garage, 121 W. 8th St.

Silent Disco, 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m., 11th Street Station.

Sunday30

Fall Festival, pumpkin patch, corn maze and family activities, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Jack-A-Lope Acres, 7195 CR 318.

20MOONS presents “Boxes Branches and Thread,” a living installation, 11 a.m.-7 p.m., Stillwater Music, 1316 Main Ave., Suite C.

Marissa Zechinato plays, 1-4 p.m., 11th Street Station.

DHS Troupe 1096 presents “Anastasia,” 2 p.m., Durango High School Auditorium. troupe1096.weebly.com

FLC Performing Arts Presents: “Cabaret,” 2 p.m., Mainstage Theater, durangoconcerts.com

Durango Chamber Singers present “Romani and Roses,” 3 p.m., St. Marks Episcopal Church, 910 E. 3rd Ave.

Halloween Party, 5 p.m., Fenceline Cider, Mancos.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Open Mic, 5:30 p.m., 558 Main Ave.

Nightmare on Elk Street Haunted House, 6 p.m., Durango Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

Comedy Show, 6:30 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Rocky Horror Show, 7 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Monday31

Downtown Children’s Halloween, 4 p.m., downtown Durango. Sponsored by BID.

Halloween Carnival, 4-6:30 p.m., TBK Bank, 259 W. 9th St. Hosted by The Hive, featuring games, pumpkin carving and live music.

Halloween Carnival, 4 p.m., First Baptist Durango, 332 E. 11th St.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.

Live music, 5 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Game Night, 6 p.m., The Hive, 1150 Main Ave.

FLC Performing Arts Presents: “Cabaret,” 7 p.m., Mainstage Theater, durangoconcerts.com.

Comedy Open Mic, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Tuesday01

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

Talk & Book Signing: Heather Hansman, author of “Powder Days,” 6 p.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave.

Village Aid Project Celebration, 6 p.m., FLC Student Union Ballroom.

a hot

Interesting fact: This #OneChipChallenge tortilla chip monstrosity is made with Carolina Reaper and Scorpion peppers, both of which tally more than 2 million Scoville heat units. I wonder how many Scoville heat units I, personally, would tally.

Dear Rachel, Merry Christmas, very, very, very… early. OCTOBER. What’s with Christmas sales, T-Day and holidays other than Halloween in October? Went to stores that are selling it all. I ask you, do I buy now to support the China economy and some USA companies? Is it wise to go to yard sales that are up for grabs from the rich leaving Durango? Oh, is it wise to buy New Year’s stuff now, as it is for sale also?

– Billy Holiday

Dear William Vacation, Wait, who is leaving Durango? You have to be rich to move here now. Is it so bad that not even the rich can afford to stay? Hallelujah! Maybe now we will finally see substantive change. I’m not rich enough to know what the solutions will be, but maybe finally, at least those of us in an elevated tax bracket will be able to afford housing that allows dogs, doesn’t require roomies and actually feels safe to take your shoes off.

– Ho ho ho, Rachel

Dear Rachel, It’s amazing to me that credit card companies can take about 10 seconds to decide, with proba-

FLC

MarchFourth

Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave, Suite 109.

Live music, 5 p.m., Diamond Belle & The Office, 699 Main Ave.

FLC Performing Arts Presents: “Cabaret,” 7 p.m., Mainstage Theater.

Musically Speaking w/ Maestro Thomas Heuser, 6 p.m., Powerhouse.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.

bly made-up income information, to give you access to many thousands of dollars. I just got my first airline card, and bam! I have like quadrupled my purchasing power. It’s easy for me to see how I can use this power for evil. But how can I use this gift for good?

– Sky’s the Limit

Dear Extra Credit, You can say yes whenever cashiers ask you to round up for charity. You can set up recurring donations from your card to the local organizations of choice. You can tip your favorite weekly letter answerer. You could also take the initial bonus miles you got (you did get sign-on bonus miles, right?), book a flight to Latin America, buy a bungalow, cut up the card and disappear for good.

– Always a cashless option, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I was at work, apparently the only one working, because I walked back to the lunch room to all my coworkers in tears. They’d all just done something called the chip challenge, where you eat some wafer of massive heat and it turns your tongue blue just to prove your stupidity. Two of them ended up lying naked on the bathroom floor to cool down before puking. Can you freaking explain the appeal of this to me?

– Feeling Chipper

Dear Half the Rescue Rangers, My best friend is also an idiot. He took the challenge

and ended up begging me to take him to the hospital. I didn’t, because he got over it. His other friend is Mr. Macho Manly Man, who did not like when I pointed at him and blurted, “Oh my god, you’re crying!” But hey, arguably, this whole thing eating away our esophaguses (esophagi?) is better than having Christmas shoved down our throats.

– Unpalatable, Rachel

Ongoing

“Wild Kratts: Ocean Adventure! And Creature Power!” hands on STEWM exhibits for children, runs until Jan. 7, Farmington Museum, 3041 E. Main St.

The Hive Indoor Skate Park, open skate and skate lessons. For schedule and online waiver, go to www.thehivedgo.org.

Upcoming

DHS Troupe 1096 presents “Anastasia,” Nov. 3-4 & 10-12 at 7 p.m. and Nov. 5 at 2 p.m., DHS Auditorium.

Girls on the Run Fall Durango 5K, Nov. 5, 11 a.m., Three Springs Durango Real Estate, 175 Mercado St. gotrwesterncolorado.org

Merely Players present “The HalfLife of Marie Curie,” Nov. 11-12 & 17-19 at 7 p.m. and Nov. 13 & 20 at 2 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

Friends of the Library Book Sale, Nov. 4-5, 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Email questions to telegraph@durangotelegraph.com

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

Of all the rich philanthropists in the world, Aries author MacKenzie Scott is the most generous. During a recent 12month period, she gave away $8.5 billion. Her focus is on crucial issues: racial equality, LGBTQ+ rights, pandemic relief, upholding and promoting democracy, and addressing the climate emergency. She disburses her donations quickly and without strings attached, and prefers to avoid hoopla and ego aggrandizement. I suggest we make her your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. May she motivate you to gleefully share your unique gifts and blessings. I think you will reap selfish benefits by exploring the perks of generosity. Halloween costume suggestion: philanthropist, Santa Claus, compassion freak.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

What animal best represents your soul? Which species do you love the most? Now would be a good time to try this imaginative exercise. You’re in a phase when you’ll thrive by nurturing your inner wild thing. You will give yourself blessings by stoking your creature intelligence. All of us are part beast, and this is your special time to foster the beauty of your beast. Halloween costume suggestion: your favorite animal or the animal that symbolizes your soul.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

During the tyrannical reign of Spain’s fascist government in the 1930s, Gemini poet Federico García Lorca creatively resisted and revolted with great courage. One critic said Lorca “was all freedom inside, abandon and wildness. A tulip, growing at the foot of a concrete bulwark.” I invite you to be inspired by Lorca’s untamed, heartfelt beauty in the coming weeks, Gemini. It’s a favorable time to rebel with exuberance against the thing that bothers you most, whether that’s bigotry, injustice, misogyny, creeping authoritarianism, or anything else.

Halloween costume suggestion: a highspirited protestor.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

If the trickster god Mercury gave you permission to do one mischievous thing today and a naughty thing tomorrow and a rascally thing two days from now, what would you choose? Now is the perfect time for you Cancerians to engage in roguish, playful, puckish actions. You are especially likely to get away with them, karma-free – and probably even benefit from them – especially if they are motivated by love. Are you interested in taking advantage of this weird grace period? Halloween costume suggestion: prankster, joker, fairy, elf.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Everyone’s mind constantly chatters with agitated fervor –what I call the ever-flickering flux. We might as well accept this as a fundamental element of being human. It’s a main feature, not a bug. Yet there are ways to tone down the inner commotion. Meditation can help. Communing with nature often works. Doing housework sometimes quells the clamor for me. The good news for you, Leo, is that you’re in a phase when it should be easier than usual to cultivate mental calm. Halloween costume suggestion: meditation champion; tranquility superstar; gold medalist in the relaxation tournament.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

“Education is an admirable thing,” said author Oscar Wilde. “But it is well to remember that nothing worth knowing can be taught.” What?! That’s an exasperating theory. I don’t like it. In fact, I protest it. I reject it. I am especially opposed to it right now as I contemplate your enhanced power to learn amazing lessons and useful knowledge and life-changing wisdom. So here’s my message for you, Virgo: What Oscar Wilde said DOES NOT APPLY to you these days. Now get out there and soak up all the inspiring teachings that are available to you. Halloween costume suggestion: top student.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

To celebrate Halloween, I suggest you costume yourself as a character you were in a past life. A jeweler in first-century Rome? A midwife in 11th-century China? A salt trader in 14th-century Timbuktu? If you don’t have any intuitions about your past, now is an excellent time to re-access resources and powers and potentials you possessed long ago – even as far back as your previous incarnations.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I guess it would be difficult to create a practical snake costume for Halloween. How would you move around? You’d have to slither across the floor and the ground everywhere you go. So maybe instead, you could be a snake priest or snake priestess – a magic conjurer wearing snake-themed jewelry and clothes and crown. Maybe your wand could be a caduceus. I’m nudging you in this direction, because I think you will benefit from embodying the mythic attributes of a snake. As you know, the creature sheds its old skin to let new skin emerge. That’s a perfect symbol for rebirth, fertility, transformation and healing. I’d love those themes to be your specialties in the coming weeks.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): “I need my sleep,” proclaimed Sagittarian comedian Bill Hicks. “I need about eight hours a day and about

ten at night.” I don’t think you will need as much slumber as Hicks in the coming nights, Sagittarius. On the other hand, I hope you won’t scrimp on your travels in the land of dreams. Your decisions in the waking world will improve as you give yourself maximum rest. The teachings you will be given while dreaming will make you extra smart and responsive to the transformations unfolding in your waking life. Halloween costume suggestion: dancing sleepwalker, snoozing genius, angel banishing a nightmare, fantastic dream creature.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Recently, my mom told me my dad only spoke the Slovakian language, never English, until he started first grade in a school near Detroit, Mich. Both of his parents had grown up in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, but immigrated to the U.S. in their youth. When I related this story to my Slovakian cousin, Robert Brežny, he assured me it’s not true. He met my dad’s mother several times, and he says she could not speak Slovakian. He thinks she was Hungarian, in fact. So it’s unlikely my dad spoke Slovakian as a child. I guess all families have odd secrets and mysteries, and this is one of mine. How about you, Capricorn? I’m happy to say that the coming months will be a favorable time to dig down to the roots of your family’s secrets and mysteries and illusions. Get started! Halloween costume suggestion: your most fascinating ancestor.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My Aquarian friend Allie told me, “If a demon turned me into a monster who had to devour human beings to get my necessary protein, I would only eat evil billionaires like Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg.” What about you, Aquarius? If you woke up one morning and found you had transformed into a giant wolf-dragon that ate people, who would you put on your menu? I think it’s a good time to meditate on this hypothetical question. You’re primed to activate more ferocity as you decide how you want to fight the world’s evil in the months and years to come. Halloween costume suggestion: a giant wolf-dragon that eats bad people.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you value the feeling of wildness? Is that an experience you seek and cultivate? If so, what conditions rouse it? How does it feel? When it visits you, does it have a healthy impact? Are you motivated by your pleasurable brushes with wildness to reconfigure the unsatisfying and unwild parts of your life? These are questions I hope you will contemplate in the coming weeks. The astrological omens suggest you have more power than usual to access wildness. Halloween costume suggestion: whatever makes you feel wild.

Deadline

679

Approximate

Mon:

Tues:

Wed: 9ish

Fri:

Classes/Workshops

Yoga for Grief & Loss

5-wk series begins Nov. 7. Mondays, 5:30-7:30 pm. Details at birdsongyo gatherapy.com/upcoming-events/.

Write Like a Zombie!

Learn a new lettering style just in time for Halloween! Adult class: Sat, Oct. 29. Limited class size. Email: heather@letslet tertogether.com

West Coast Swing Dance

6-week class starts November 2. Learn the basics of West Coast Swing. Registration is required at www.westslopewest ies.com.

Lost/Found

Lost keys

Between 2nd and 3rd on 8th St. Oct. 21. 541-999-2830.

ForRent

Cottage for Rent

1 bedroom/1 bath, utilities included (excludes propane). Offered to mature, quiet, professional. No smokers/pets. 10 minutes from town. $1100.00 plus deposit. References required. Call/text 970946-1051.

Warehouse/Workshop Space!!

1800 sq. ft +/- near Oxbow. Call or text 970-946-4343.

ForSale

2 Nokia Snow Tires

205/65R 15. Like new. $75/pr. 970422-7009.

Gordon Smith FibreFlex Longboard

A classic – sweet, smooth ride for cushy cruising. Been around the block

but still in great shape. 42” long. $50 Text: 970-749-2595.

Vassago Jabberwocky Singlespeed

17” steel frame, black, hardtail, front Fox 32” fork. Set up for tubeless, decent rubber. Super fun, light and zippy bike –great for in-town rides, Phil’s or more. $700 Text: 970-749-2595.

GoPro Camera

Hero 5. A few years old but only used once or twice and otherwise just sat in a drawer. It is deserving of a more exciting owner! $150 OBO. Text 970-749-2595

Reruns Home Furnishings

Warm up your space with quality preowned furniture, décor and art. Coffee tables, dressers, MCM items, great kitchenware selection, ever-changing inventory … 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.Sat. 385-7336.

Wanted

Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

Services

Marketing Small and Local Businesses

Media, website building and content editing, copywriting and editing, newsletters, blogs, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. Visit our website at www.forwardpedal.com or email jnderge@gmail.com

Harmony Cleaning and Organizing

Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192.

Lowest Prices on Storage!

Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

BodyWork

Lotus Path Healing Arts

Now accepting new clients. Offering a unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics, 24 years of experience. To schedule call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.

Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-759-0199.

CommunityService

Durango PlayFest Seeks Submissions

from area writers by Dec. 1 for its fifth annual festival, June 28-July 2, 2023. Prior playwriting experience not required. Selected playwright will collaborate with a local director and actors to develop the work for a staged reading during the festival. Plays should be 60-90 pages, with up to four characters. Playwrights must reside within daily driving distance to Durango to attend rehearsals in June. Submit plays in a Word document or PDF to durangoplayfest@gmail.com with “play” in the subject line. For more info, visit durangoplayfest.org.

Volunteer Advocates Needed

Do you want to make a difference in your community and the lives of others? Alternative Horizons is always in need of

HaikuMovieReview

‘Doctor Sleep’ Lil Danny from ‘The Shining’ grew up hotter than I’d have expected

– Lainie Maxson

volunteers to staff our hotline. AH supports and empowers survivors of domestic violence. Training and ongoing support provided. For more information call the office at 970-247-4374 or visit our website at alternativehorizons.org

Volunteers needed for SJMA’s Christmas tree lot Cut, carry, net and haul white fir for our Christmas tree lot, Sat., Nov 19, Junction Creek Road. Volunteers also needed to assist on the tree lot at the D&SNG parking lot. Tree lot opens Fri., Nov. 25, and will be open daily until the trees sell out. www.sjma.org/

Clyde letting Sen. Michael Bennet know primary needs of La Plata County

Clyde cooking hotdogs with Natambu for Music in the Mountains’ family night