Floating your gravy boat since 2002
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FREE Nov. 23, 2023 Vol. XXII, No. 47 durangotelegraph.com
inside
T H E
O R I G I N A L
I N D I E
W E E K L Y
L I N E
O N
D U R A N G O
&
B E Y O N D
Stuff it, Thanksgiving
Worth the wait
Changing the mood
In defense of abolishing this wannabe holiday p4
Ski season starts small, but experts hint at big finish p8
Three albums to lift you out of the holidaze funk p10
Open at noo Sun., Nov. 2 n this 6th during the Mancos Art Market!
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2 n Nov. 23, 2023
telegraph
lineup
In defense of abolishing the holiday that average cooks love to hate
5 Writers on the Range
4 La Vida Local
Stuff it by Addyson Santese
6 Soap Box
5
8 Top Story
Get in the groove Living outdoors helps us appreciate the finer resources in life
10 Kill Yr Idols
by Jacob Richards / Writers on the Range
12-13 Stuff to Do
8
13 Ask Rachel
Let it snow Ready or not, opening day is here ... but don’t fret, things are looking up by Tracy Chamberlin
15 Classifieds
10
15 Haiku Movie Review
Holidaze music
On the cover Hesperus Mountain is reflected in a small pond during one of the last late-season hikes before winter sets in./ Photo by Alex Krebs
Three season de-stressers from names you know and those you should
boilerplate
by Jon E. Lynch
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he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, tacky singletrack or mon-
14 Free Will Astrology
STAR-STUDDED CAST: Addyson Santese, Tracy Chamberlin, Jon E. Lynch, Rob Brezsny, Lainie Maxson, Rob Pudim, Jesse Anderson & Clint Reid
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telegraph
Ear to the ground: “Congratulations on being the first writer in Telegraph history to use the words ‘vibrator’ and ‘Thanksgiving’ in one column.” – Another bar-raising – or it is bar-lowering? – milestone. (See next page … .)
thepole
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RegularOccurrences
The Eagle has landed Forget “Hunger Games,” “Trolls” and “Marvel.” The sequel everyone in Durango’s been waiting for is here. “Eagle Scout 2: The Spoils of Victory” will hit the stage at 6:30 p.m. this Sun., Nov. 26, at The Space/Rodeo Odyssey, at 1437 E. 2nd Ave. The one-act play is the work of local creative extraordinaire Dan Groth, who first staged “Eagle Scout 1” more than 20 years ago at the now defunct Buzz House Café, where he worked. The play is set in the somewhat fictional “Tenderfoot Café” and features Groth, an Eagle Scout, in full regalia. Groth said he and his best friend, Aaron Shipps, were both Eagle Scouts. The idea for the play was the result off an offhand remark from another friend who suggested they do a play on their experience, and “Eagle Scout: A One-Act Play” was born. “From there, it sort of wrote itself,” Groth said. However, when the time came for the first performance, Shipps was MIA somewhere in the deserts of Utah. Let’s just say he was partaking in some decidedly un-Eagle Scout like extracurriculars, and Groth was forced to man, er, Scout, up on his own. “I did a pretty good job for winging it,” said Groth, whose only props were a mixed tape and a boom box. Over the ensuing years, Groth performed the play again, in 2014, at Animas Trading Co., which one attendee described as: “Weird. And funny. Sort of a cross between Andy Kaufman and Chris Elliott.” For the latest chapter in the saga – which by some counts is No. 3, but who’s counting? – Groth has employed the help of two castmates (one who’s a REAL actress!) and learned a thing or two about lighting. He’s also had five years to polish it up, since he wrote it before getting sidelined by the pandemic. He said he hadn’t given it much thought until he attended opening night at The Space a few weeks back and the wheels started turning. “I thought, ‘This is really cool. I could do “Eagle Scout” here,’” he said. Groth said this time, he has “really thought things out” but added the show will be “no frills.” Except for the Eagle Scout uniform, which he still has and is worth the price of admission alone ($5 suggested.) “Everyone gets a kick out of seeing me in my Eagle Scout uniform,” said Groth, adding that it still fits, albeit a bit more snug. “I don’t have the pants, though. But those definitely wouldn’t fit.” Nov. 23, 2023 n 3
opinion
LaVidaLocal Petition to abolish Thanksgiving WE THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD LIKE TO BRING YOUR ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING PROBLEM, WITH RECOMMENDATION(S): Thanksgiving blows. There, I said it. Go ahead, chop my head off. Eviscerate me. Shove a handful of soggy bread crumbs up my – wait. That’s the turkey. Still, having to put any part of my body inside the rear end of a slimy, dead bird that’s basically one of the closest creatures we have to a dinosaur is just one of the many reasons I think we should decommission Thanksgiving. For starters, it’s a middleman holiday. It gets us from Halloween to Christmas, but that’s why our lord and savior Tim Burton created “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Cramming Thanksgiving between two of the holiday greats feels a bit cruel in the same way that making your 5-year-old nephew play defense against your heavyset uncle, drunk on craft beer and the idea that his manhood is at stake in a backyard football game. It feels cruel. The little guy doesn’t stand a chance. And before you start getting your feathers all ruffled, gobbling at me about how great the day is, riddle me this: how many Thanksgiving movies can you name? Yeah. That’s what I thought. The truth is no one actually likes Thanksgiving. It’s the one time of the year you feel obligated to spend eight hours trapped in a kitchen coordinating a Michelin-star meal like you’ve suddenly become Gordon Ramsey but without the ability to scream at your in-laws for screwing up the gravy. Seriously? I gave you the easiest thing on the menu. I’m convinced Thanksgiving is more of an exercise in selfflagellation than a day of celebration. I mean, just look at those sick weirdos who wake up early to do turkey trots. Is that the 10th circle of hell? Probably. Let’s not forget the political minefield that is dinnertime (which takes place at 2 p.m. obviously). You’ll need to have the communication skills of a hostage negotiator to prevent an all-out civil war before dessert is served. Tak-
ing a quick break to scream into a hand towel in the guest bathroom after getting caught in the crossfires of your family’s diametrically opposing belief systems is just one of the many annual joys that Thanksgiving brings. Plus, there’s the whole business of having to go around the table and say what you’re thankful for. Best of luck if you choose to say something other than generically acceptable lines like “my family” or “these sweatpants LOL!” Telling your family you’re grateful for endless seasons of “Too Hot to Handle” or the peace and quiet that comes with being childless or your new vibrator likely won’t go over well. It will certainly be memorable though. Bloodbath of the actual meal aside, the process of getting to and from wherever it is you’re going is also sure to be excruciating. Your flight will most certainly be canceled due to the “totally unpredictable” super blizzard that happens at the exact same time every year, and no, you won’t be able to connect to the airport’s WiFi to distract yourself for the next 12 hours. Enjoy sleeping on the floor of Chicago O’Hare with a gut full of white meat and regret! Can’t wait to do it all again in a month! Look, I understand it’s tradition. Canceling Thanksgiving would rob you of the opportunity to drop a small fortune to travel crosscountry during the ugliest time of year, then spend another small fortune on groceries that’ll be consumed in a matter of minutes. Really, I get it. It sounds amazing. But what if we didn’t do that? Plenty of other holidays have faded out of existence. Take Lupercalia. This ancient pagan fertility festival used to involve animal sacrifices, random hookups and whipping strangers with goat hides while they ran naked through the streets. And what about Gŵyl Mabsant, the Welsh equivalent of the Olympics but with way more alcohol and blindfolded wheelbarrow races? I bet jamming croutons into a bird butt is starting to sound pretty lame right now, huh? This holiday season, make memories that’ll last. Ditch Thanksgiving. Bring back pagan sacrifices. – Addyson Santese
SignoftheDownfall:
Thumbin’It Israel and Hamas agreeing to a ceasefire to facilitate a hostage/prisoner exchange. While we can’t even feign to know the solution to the conflict, this seems like a step in the right direction.
The arrival in Colorado of some sort of “canine COVID,” a mysterious, treatment-resistant respiratory infection that sickens dogs with flu-like symptoms, killing some. Seriously … now the dogs?
The City of Durango looking to install eight new Tesla EV charging stations at the Transit Center. While hopefully this will help alleviate so-called “range anxiety,” we still think Elon Musk is weird.
This past summer was the hottest on record in the Northern Hemisphere, according to NOAA. At the same time, a U.N. report says that the U.S., along with most of the world’s top fossil fuel-producing countries, plans to produce more oil, gas and coal in 2030 than it does today. We think we see a connection.
Fill up the stock pot and strap on the bib – crawfish boils are legal again in Colorado starting Jan. 1. This reverses a decades-long ban on importing the invasive crustaceans, which was largely ignored. Still, it’s good to know eating “mudbugs” is not against the law, although it may violate some other sensibilities.
4 n Nov. 23, 2023
Although some of us have long suspected this, new studies find a link between junk food and cognitive decline. Even scarier, for every 10% increase in ultra-processed food, the risk of dementia went up by 25 percent. Kale, anyone?
telegraph
Florida Men This coming February in St. Augustine, Fla., the fistever Florida Man Games will open to decide who “Florida Man” really is. The games will include the obvious, such as beer-belly wrestling and a mullet competition, but during the final event, the “Evading Arrest Obstacle Course,” contestants will run from actual police officers while jumping over fences. Admission is $45, and the games will be officiated by two former stars of “American Gladiators.” However, the games might not be necessary because last week, a Florida man was arrested for throwing Oreo cookies at his wife during an argument over an empty coffee maker… is he the chosen one?
WritersontheRange
Roughing it No better way to appreciate what we have than to live without it by Jacob Richards
G
uides in the outdoor industry inevitably come up with collective nicknames for customers. On horseback they’re “dudes,” on the river they’re “mers” – short for customers – and they’re “sticks” if you’re trying to trick a trout. Sometimes the terms trend a little negative – “flatlander” comes to mind, and there’s another name I’ve come to use but need to explain. It comes out of what I do: For the past decade, I’ve guided multi-day whitewater fly-fishing trips through western Colorado’s Gunnison Gorge in the summer. Then, I spend the fall guiding horseback hunting in wilderness. It adds up to around 100 nights a year sleeping rough. I’ve met a lot of people from all over the country, and, sad to say, too many seem oblivious to how scarce clean water is in the outback and also how much work it takes to make water safe for drinking. That’s why I sometimes call them “water poopers.” Spill a big batch of filtered water, treat a horse like a car rather than a living being or Richards behave in some other entitled way, and you might get saddled with this moniker. If a client takes offense, I explain that a water-pooper assumes that a flush toilet is necessary to life, and they usually agree: “Yep, that’s me. Never thought about it that way.” On the river, and in hunting camp, water is precious: We filter every drop of water that we drink. We haul water from the river or the creek to camp, and then let gravity filters purify it, one drop at a time. On overnight river trips we use a portable toilet setup with a great view, but some clients never get over their distaste of having to use it. At trip’s end, our portable toilet gets packed out, leaving nothing behind. On the mountain every fall, we usually have to dig two 5-foot-deep outhouse holes at least 40 paces from the main tents. After a stalagmite of poop and toilet paper inevitably forms, the “camp-jack” has the unlucky job of knocking over the tower. We fill in the hole when it’s three-quarters full and then dig a new one. Wilderness guides love saying things like “misery makes memories,” or “embrace the suck.” It’s good for
a laugh when rain, mud or a sudden freeze moves in, but it helps make living deep in the wilderness an experience to learn from and remember. It also breaks the water-pooper spell we fall into in the “real world.” Being responsible for our personal needs connects us to the realities of life that modern civilization hides. Our elk camp is located in an aspen forest licking down into Gambel oak brush, and every year I notice that the land is drier and hotter. Aspens are not doing well. The mature trees are dead or dying, and only saplings seem to have any vigor. A little creek used to run cool enough to hold some fingerling trout, but vegetation is moving higher up the mountain, and the creek is warm. The elk rut also happens later in the fall each year. At some point every season after six weeks in the wild, I drive home, and as I crest the ridge and see the lights of Grand Junction, it hits me: Some 150,000plus people live in the area, and they all defecate in purified water without a second thought. For those first few days back in civilization, the absurdity is overwhelming. But I also can see the bigger picture of our careless lives. Living in a wild place sep-
telegraph
arates us from what is essential: Shelter. Energy. Food. Clean water. Waste removal. We’re forced to take individual responsibility for all of those things in the backcountry. Of course, I’m a water-pooper, too. No one is immune. No matter how you wipe it, we all clean ourselves with dead trees, even protestors sitting in old growth forests. I might just be a river rat and mule skinner, but I know that many of our most pressing environmental and social issues stem from this water-pooper line of thinking. Stepping out of the system to take responsibility for ourselves, even for a few days in the wild, can be eyeopening. It’s amazing to realize how fragile our luxuries are, from toilets that whisk waste away to having clean water pour out of a tap. It is unwise to take these luxuries for granted. ■ Jacob Richards is a contributor to Writers on the Range, writersontherange.org, an independent nonprofit dedicated to spurring conversation about the West. He is an outdoor guide and writer and lives in Fruita. Nov. 23, 2023 n 5
SoapBox
D-Tooned/by Rob Pudim
The real threat to wilderness
I am responding to the Telegraph’s “Temporary Pain in the Ass” article (Nov. 9). I didn’t see any mention of the actual real menace to Chicago Basin and similar wilderness areas. And that is, the multitudes of boots on the ground causing irreparable damage. From what I have heard first-hand from very reliable sources, there is an average of hundreds of people at one time in the basin/ day and thousands per season. These individuals and/or groups are unregulated by any type of permitting process. Again, from reliable sources, there is toilet paper and the stench from human urine and human feces in the basin and along the trail literally everywhere, and unregulated by the Forest Service. The trail into the basin is not a trail anymore but a ditch that has not been maintained properly since pre-COVID. So compared to how it was just a few years ago, the erosion caused by too many hikers in the basin and on the approach trail is reprehensible. Ron Yeager and his family travel into
their property a few times a year on mule. It is doubtful that the Yeager family has, quite frankly, done any damage to that wilderness. Or comparably speaking, a fraction of a fraction of what hikers have done. I’m all for a wilderness experience, and I am sure some folks traveling into Chicago Basin are respectful of the Weminuche Wilderness. But to single out the Yeager family, who have contributed to this area more positive impacts than most from the many generations they have lived in La Plata County, does not seem fair. I just wanted people to read a bit more about the bigger picture in Chicago Basin instead of focusing an unfair microscopic look at genuine stewards of the land, the Yeager family. – Larry Ruiz, Durango
Thistle – get ’em while they’re young It took me only a couple of years to eliminate thistle (I don’t recall what kind or maybe never knew) from the surface of the septic field for a house we
built near Durango. The key was learning to recognize the new seedlings and pulling them while they weren’t yet
ENJOY SOME HOLIDAY CHEER!
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telegraph
prickly and well before they could produce more seeds. – Heather Mullett, Durango
StateNews
How do you spell relief? Special session delivers bigger benefits for low-income families
by Andrew Kenney Colorado Public Radio
C
olorado lawmakers on Monday concluded a special legislative session that was focused on tax relief for homeowners. But when the smoke cleared and the last calculations were completed, it was clear that Democrats’ tax policy reforms had gone far beyond property taxes. The package of new laws will indeed deliver about $430 million of tax cuts for homeowners across the state. Gov. Jared Polis signed the tax cut and other bills Monday evening. Among them was an even bigger taxbenefits package, totaling nearly $500 million, for lower-income Coloradans, who will get larger TABOR refunds and expanded tax credits. Those changes will be paid for, in effect, by the state’s wealthiest. “I’m proud to provide immediate
property tax relief for all Coloradans and help those who need it the most,” Polis said in a statement. “Thanks to these actions, more hardworking people can stay in the communities they love or grew up in. I appreciate the Legislature’s thoughtful work to save people money and their ability to pass laws during this urgent special session before Thanksgiving to provide property tax relief.” For most Democrats, it was something to celebrate – a change that would make the state’s tax system more progressive, at least for the next year. “Our state’s tax code is broken. It’s an upside-down tax code,” Rep. Javier Mabrey, D-Denver, said. “This matters. It helps renters. It helps homeowners.” Republicans, meanwhile, decried the policy changes as a socialist-style wealth transfer, and they claimed it was counter to the will of voters, who had just rejected Proposition HH, containing some
of the same ideas. “The people who pay little or nothing in taxes get the majority of the benefits, and the real taxpayers got little or nothing,” Sen. Larry Liston, R-Colorado Springs, said. (Practically everyone pays taxes in some form, especially sales and other taxes.) Specifically, three big changes were made for tax year 2023. First, there’s a change to how the state pays TABOR refunds. Typically, those refunds are paid out in tiers, with the highest-income Coloradans getting substantially higher refunds. But next year, the state instead will pay “flat” refunds, dividing up TABOR equally among tax filers. That’s something that was done once before, in 2022. Meanwhile, the TABOR changes will have negative impacts on those earning more than $104,000. They could lose out on anywhere from $100 to $2,000 of re-
telegraph
funds, depending on their income. This time, every refund will be worth about $800 – a net gain of more than $200 for those in the lowest income tier, and a loss of $1,000 for those in the highest. (You can double those amounts for households with two tax filers.) The second change is the expansion of the state’s Earned Income Tax Credit, which targets low-income families. The change will result in $183 million being paid to that group, with some of the state’s poorest working families getting more than $1,800 if they have several children. The greatest collective costs will fall on the highest income tier, households that make more than $309,000. However, some of those tax-payers may still come out neutral or ahead since they also will be getting a property tax discount. For more from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org
Nov. 23, 2023 n 7
TopStory
Worth the wait Ski season starts small, but experts hint at big finish by Tracy Chamberlin
P
urgatory only has two runs open, Wolf Creek has just a patch of snow near the base, and Telluride isn’t even considering opening yet. Despite some help from Mother Nature this week, local ski areas are off to a slow start. Early offerings for Purgatory Resort’s opening day Nov. 18 included just two front side runs – Westfork and El Diablo – and a portion of the Headwaters Terrain Park. All are located underneath Lift 2, which requires an up- and download from Lift 1, aka the Six-Pack. According to those who showed up for the first weekend of the season, it was a good day on the slopes despite the limited terrain. Most of this was credited to the resort’s snowmakers and groomers, but the $1.25 million that has been invested in snowmaking infrastructure over the past few years also made a difference. “Our mountain operations team has been working around the clock to deliver a great, early-season experience, and we are excited to welcome everyone back,” Purgatory’s General Manager Dave Rathbun said in a statement. The other big changes for Purgatory heading into the 2023-24 season check off some longtime wishes from locals – additional parking and upgraded bathrooms. During the off season, workers expanded two parking lots: the lower Columbine Lot and the Gelande Lot off Highway 550. They also added two shuttles to the fleet, hoping to reduce wait times for a ride to the base. Finally, the bathrooms at Powderhouse and Dante’s have been remodeled as part of the resort’s Phase II upgrades. There’s less on the new-and-improved list when it comes to season pass options and lift tickets costs. For the second sea-
8 n Nov. 23, 2023
A skier talks to the lifties at Purgatory’s Six-Pack on opening day, Nov. 18. The resort opened with just two runs, accessed via an up- and download via the Six Pack. However, weather experts say conditions are about to change for the better, thanks to the arrival of El Niño./ Photo by Scott Wachob son in a row, Purgatory is using dynamic pricing or demand-based pricing for its daily lift tickets. This strategy adjusts prices based on demand. The more people who buy tickets, the higher the price goes. The practice is common for airlines and hotels but is now seeping into the ski industry. Resorts that use it say it’s an im-
portant tool to address staffing needs and tackle overcrowded lift lines that can negatively impact the guest experience. “It’s really only one of the levers we have to manage those busy days,” Theresa Graven, PR Strategist for Purgatory Resort, explained. The starting price for a daily ticket at Purgatory is just $9, but it goes up every
telegraph
time someone purchases one. “It rewards people for planning ahead,” she added. In addition to the daily tickets, the resort still offers season passes, flex passes, free power passes for kids and transferable parent passes. According to Graven, the Parent Share Pass, which allows two parents to share one pass, is something no one else in the
industry is doing. It’s just one of the ways the resort hopes to grow its future customer base. “Our primary focus is to make skiing and snowboarding more accessible and enjoyable for everyone,” Rathbun explained in a statement. Elsewhere in the southwest ski world, Wolf Creek opened a portion of its beginner area earlier this month. The current base there is 15 inches. This year, Wolf Creek has added a new lift to its beginner terrain called Tumbler. “By adding a third lift to the beginner lift ticket package, the Nova Lift and Lynx Learning Center will see a more familiar, low-density skiing experience found around the rest of the mountain,” according to the resort’s press release. Wolf Creek also made progress with planned upgrades like seasonal locker rentals, added shuttles and extended snowmaking to the top of the Treasure Stoke lift. Telluride Ski Resort, on the other hand, isn’t likely to open until early December. “Due to recent and forecasted warm weather, we will have a delayed opening,” the latest press release explained. An announcement on the future calendar is expected after the Thanksgiving holiday. Even though resorts are only opening with a handful of runs – or not at all – it’s
certainly not time to sound the alarm. According to those in the know, it might take some time for this season to get under way, but it will be worth the wait. The local go-to guru for all things meteorological, “Durango Weather Guy” Jeff Givens, has been watching the weather patterns throughout the year. He predicts an El Niño that would bring a late start to the season, developing into winter weather with below-average temperatures and above-average snowfall. The National Weather Service’s Climate Prediction Center is forecasting a “strong” and “growing” El Niño as well. “El Niño is characterized by unusually warm ocean temperatures in the Equatorial Pacific,” explained the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. For some parts of the world, this could mean floods, drought conditions and even devastating wildfires. For the Southwest, it typically means average to below-average temperatures and above-average precipitation with significant snowfall starting around the first of the year and continuing through April. “I expect El Niño to be in charge for fall then the warm waters of El Niño will transition … This will result in a winter that gets under way in January and lasts through April or May,” Givens explained
Despite a lack of real snow, skiers and boarders showed up for Purg’s opening weekend, which was reportedly good thanks to grooming crews and the resort’s upgraded snow-making system./ Photo courtesy Christian Ridings in a September post. Indeed, as we speak, a storm is shaping up to hit the San Juans this holiday weekend. As of Tuesday, Givens was predicting
telegraph
8-12 inches for Silverton and more than a foot for Purgatory and Wolf Creek. In other words, as he urged in an earlier post, “DON’T PANIC.” ■
Nov. 23, 2023 n 9
KillyrIdols
Changing the mood Musical suggestions to help combat the holidaze by Jon E. Lynch
H
appy, happy all. I hope that all of you – our impressively devout Telegraph readers and those of you perhaps visiting and picking up our free weekly for the first time – are taking a few moments to slow down and take a minute as we transition into winter. We’re not there yet, thankfully, but with one of our local ski hills opening last weekend, it sure seems like it’s nearly upon us. I’ve become a fan of using this column to remind myself, and, as such, all of you – to employ some coping mechanisms to navigate these frantic days/nights/weeks – so bear with me. Take a few deep breaths over the course of a day. It’s nothing new, but it is amazing how something so seemingly commonplace can reset you in the moment. It really does help to mellow the pace of things and keep me slightly more aware of how I’m feeling. And I’ll admit it: I’m not the greatest at identifying exactly how I’m “feeling,” so a bit of self-assessment can go a long way. Do I need time away from people? Am I overwhelmed? Am I hungry? Am I tired? Any of these can make or break me, so checking my internal barometer is becoming paramount. I’ve also come to appreciate that, no matter what I’m experiencing in the moment, it will pass. And while feelings may be temporary, music has always been a constant in my life and can be a near-immediate mood changer. I’m not sure if I ever consciously attributed therapeutic value to it, but it has very much been there for me since I was a kiddo. It’s certainly a positive adaptive strategy. I get excited about new and “new to me” music alike. Usually this time of year, new releases start to taper off, but you can always count on a handful of more-than-worthwhile stragglers at year’s end. A couple weeks back, legendary underground hip-hop artist Aesop Rock released “Integrated Tech Solutions” on the storied Rhymesayers record label. This was a release I’d had circled on my calendar for months. Active for 20-plus years on the fringes of independent hip hop, no one approaches the genre quite
10 n Nov. 23, 2023
André 3000 and Aesop Rock both came out with unique albums recently. like he does. Vivid, abstract, sometimes absurdist yet carefully detailed storytelling and a singular style of word play/word choice make Aesop your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper. Largely self-produced, the record demands repeated listens in the most joyful way. I get that not everyone likes rap/hip-hop – but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Last Friday, with just three days advance notice, André 3000 (Outkast) surprise released his solo debut album, “New Blue Sun,” and it is likely as polarizing as a solo debut can be. The album was announced via NPR(!?), and their columnist Rodney Carmichael calls it “a stunning 87-minute mind-bender, minimalist and experimental ... one thing it is not, however, is a rap record: No bars, no beats, no sub-bass …. What (André) does do is play flute, and plenty of it – contrabass flute, Mayan flutes, bamboo flutes – along with other digital wind instruments.” A couple colleagues of mine with pre-release listens suggested it was “late-night bath, early-morning coffee music” and “good for yoga,” both of which track. After two solid listens, it is, simply, a beautiful and more than solid record. This week Ghost Woman, a garage psych outfit from Alberta, Canada, released its second record of 2023 (following January’s “Anne, If”) with “Hindsight is 50/50.” Songwriter and
telegraph
multi-instrumentalist Evan Uschenko believes that this is the group’s first album that “finally captures the true nature of the band” and that “the first two albums were never meant to be albums: they are like pages from diaries that have long since been burned. With the introduction of Ille van Dessel as cowriter/drummer, the project feels like it has a direction.” The reverb-drenched surf, psych and twang are all still very much there (OK, maybe less twang), and tonally this album feels heavier, thicker and darker. If this is the rock and roll destination he initially set out for – and it’s now fully realized here – I’m all for it. Next month, I’ll find a way to pare down some of my favorite releases from this year into some sort of cohesive list. Be forewarned that cohesion isn’t my forte. That said, I do encourage you to send anything you’ve especially enjoyed this year my way, new or not. I’m always up for suggestions. Again – don’t forgot to be good to yourself these next few weeks. Try to mitigate all the stressors. You’ve got to show up for you before you can show up for anyone else. Speaking of which, I’ll also take any and all tips you’ve got for self-care. Send them my way at the email address below. Along with questions, comments and gripes. Especially the gripes. KDUR_PD@fortlewis.edu ■
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Nov. 23, 2023 n 11
StufftoDo
Friday24
EDM Party, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., Roxy’s, 693 Main Ave.
Free Friday Yoga, 8:30 a.m., Lively (a boutique), 809 Main Ave.
Silent Disco, 10 p.m.-12:30 a.m., 11th St. Station.
Gary B. Walker, 10:15 a.m. – 12 noon, Jean-Pierre Bakery & Restaurant, 601 Main Ave. Open Meditation, 12 noon-1 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave, Suite 109. Pet Photos with Santa, 2-4 p.m., Creature Comforts, 1111 S Camino Del Rio
Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com
Singing with Santa Hot Cocoa Party, 4-5:30 p.m., Durango Sustainable Goods, 1259 Main Ave. Singing with Santa, 5:30 p.m., Buckley Park. Christmas carols, lighting of the Christmas tree, Santa & free hot chocolate & cookies. Jack Ellis & Larry Carver play, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave. Cornhole Tournament, 5:30 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Friday Dancing, 6 p.m., VFW. Instruction followed by open dancing at 7:45 p.m. DurangoDancing.com Aria PettyOne presents Aria’s Pizza Party, 8:30-9:30p.m., Father’s Daughters Pizza, 640 Main Ave.
Comedy Showcase, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.
Tuesday28
Sunday26 Durango Flea Market, 8 a.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, 2500 Main Ave. Veterans Benefit Breakfast, 9 a.m., VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave. Mancos Art Market, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., downtown Mancos. Bradley and Danny from Afrobeatniks play, 12 noon, Bomdiggity, Mancos, 106 W Grand Ave.
Community Yoga, 4:30-5:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted. Jason Thies plays, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave. Slow Bluegrass Jam, 5:30-7:30 p.m., General Palmer Hotel, 567 Main Ave. Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office, 699 Main Ave. Open Mic Night, 7 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.
Vinyl Sundaze, 12 noon, Lola’s Place, 725 E. 2nd. Meditational Sit-in for Peace in Holy Land, 12-2 p.m. Rotary Park. Live music, 12:30 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice, 3000 Main Ave. Feed the People! free aid for homeless community members, 2 p.m., Buckley Park. Sunday Funday, 6 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave. “Eagle Scout 2: The Spoils of Victory,” a oneact play by Dan Groth, 6:30 p.m., Rodeo Odyssey, in the old Basin Printing building, 1437 E. 2nd Ave.
Wednesday29
Restorative Yoga for Cancer, 9:30-10:45 a.m., Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Info and register at cancersupportswco.org/calendar Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave. Open Mic, 6:30 p.m., EsoTerra Ciderworks, 558 Main Ave. Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Bottom Shelf Brewery, Bayfield. Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 8 p.m., The Roost, 128 E. College Dr.
DJ Party, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Roxy’s, 693 Main Ave.
Saturday25 Holiday Market, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Animas Trading Co., 742 Main Ave. Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave. Community Yoga, 6-7 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd. Donations accepted. Karaoke, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice, 3000 Main.
Karaoke Roulette, 8 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.
Monday27
Ukulele Jam, 5 p.m., Durango Coffee Co., 730 Main Ave.
Thursday30
Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.
Business After Hours, 5 p.m., Durango HarleyDavidson, 750 Camino del Rio.
Meditation and Dharma Talk, 5:30 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.
Thursday Night Sitting Group, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave, Suite 109.
Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.
Poetry Night, 6 p.m., Durango Sustainable Goods, 1259 Main Ave.
Friends and family in town? Bring them by for hot spiced cider, delicious tasters, great local gifts and fun retro stocking stuffers! 970-259-5811 • 26345 HWY 160/550 1 mile SE of Durango Mall • www.dietzmarket.com
12 n Nov. 23, 2023
telegraph
AskRachel
Ex-holiday traditions, dream therapy and role reversal Interesting fact: Carrie Fisher claimed that she played the Star Wars Holiday Special at parties when she wanted people to leave. Thanksgiving pro tip. Dear Rachel, It’s November, and that means it’s time for my annual holiday tradition! Join me in searching for an unauthorized posting of the Star Wars Holiday Special, an hour and a half of the worst footage ever caught on film, so bad it’s a wonder the rest of the movies weren’t axed as well. What’s your holiday tradition, Rachel. Care to join me for mine? – ’78 Special Dear Dancing Wookiee, I have seen guys try to pick up women despite talking too much about Star Wars. I have even seen guys try to pick up women with Star Wars. But I have never been asked if I’d like to go scrape off my own face with that cheese-grater of a holiday special. I really truly had a partner who played it for me once, and we made it five minutes, and now we’re exes. – Hard pass, Rachel Dear Rachel, What did you dream of when you were a kid? This is a new practice of mine. When I
am worried or stressed (which I am a lot), I ask big questions. So, however you answer (or don’t), just asking you helps me. – Curious Minds Dear Dream Weaver, Oh, I dig this practice. And I had so very many dreams. I dreamed of walking across the desert. I dreamed of lashing together banana trees to build a raft. I dreamed of learning what lashing meant, and how to do it. I dreamed of being President, until I realized you probably have to be careful how you name your pets. I dreamed of writing for the newspaper. That one, at least, came true. – Sweet dreams, Rachel Dear Rachel, I’m a weirdo husband, because all I want to do is support my wife. She’s gonna be a bestseller, I know it. But you can’t do that when you’re working and splitting chores and kids. I keep saying I’ll do all the groceries and the cleaning so she can focus. But my friends think I’m strange, and even my wife is like, honey don’t quit your day job. But this isn’t so weird, right? – House Husband
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Home Spouse, Splitting chores is one thing, but you have got to stop splitting the kids. There’s even a parable about it. Just don’t. But the rest of this sounds pretty admirable. I have to think my own odds of making the New York Times Bestseller List go up exponentially with a man who wants to cook me dinner. It’s just too bad you’re married, because this is a far sexier proposition than watching Star Wars. – Sweeter dreams, Rachel
Bluegrass Jam, 6 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice, 3000 Main Ave.
Jason Thies plays, Dec. 1, 5 p.m., Scenic Aperture Gallery, 708 Main Ave.
Live music, 6-9 p.m., The Office & Diamond Belle, 699 Main Ave.
Holiday on the Hill, Dec. 1, 7 p.m., Fort Lewis Concert Hall
Trivia Night, 6:30 p.m., Powerhouse Science Center, 1330 Camino del Rio.
Wood Belly with Jack Cloonan, Dec. 1, doors at 6 p.m., Animas City Theater
Drag Trivia Night, 7:30 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.
Festival of Trees, Dec. 1-3, noon - 5 pm, D&SNG Museum, 479 Main Ave. Fund-raiser for Community Connections.
Ongoing
Merely Players presents “Hands on a Hardbody,” Dec. 1-2, 5, 7-9 at 7 p.m. and Dec 3 and 10 at 2 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr. www.merelyplayers.org
“The Return of the Force,” art exhibit exploring the influence of “Star Wars” on Native artists, FLC’s Center for Southwest Studies. Thru August 2024.
Art Room Collective Holiday Art Market, Dec. 2, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Smiley Building, 1309 E. 13th Ave.
“Sine Language” exhibit by Christine Cassano, 4:30-6 p.m., FLC’s Lyceum Auditorium, Center for Southwest Studies. Thru Dec. 6.
Jimmy Buffett Music Video Night, Dec. 2, doors at 7:30 p.m., Animas City Theater
Toy Drive, Durango Treasures and Twilight Toys, 900 Main Ave., Suite A or 600 Main Ave., #105
Durango Choral Society presents “Sparkling Lights,” holiday concert, Dec. 3, 3 p.m., FLC Community Concert Hall
The Polar Express, Nov. 17 - Jan. 1, 2024, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, 479 Main Ave.
Jazz Ensemble, Dec. 5, 7 p.m. Dec. 5, FLC Ballroom The Nutcracker Ballet, Dec. 8-10, Community Concert Hall
Upcoming Noel Night, Dec. 1, activities in and around Durango. Art Room Collective First Friday, Dec. 1, 4-7 p.m., Smiley Building, 1309 E. 13th Ave.
Got earlybirds? Tina can help you find a house with plenty of room for extra-punctual guests.
Tina Miely Broker Associate
(970) 946-2902 tina@BHHSco.com
Winter Wonderbands: Stillwater Youth Band Showcase, Dec. 9, 12 noon-5 p.m., The Light Box, 1316 Main. Holiday Farmer’s Market, Dec. 9, 9 a.m. – 2 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds
telegraph
Nov. 23, 2023 n 13
FreeWillAstrology by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): When we experience authentic awe, our humility deepens. This tends to make us kinder, smarter and more positive. So how can we stimulate awe? Among the many possible ways are gazing at magnificent art, hiking in a natural wonderland or being in the presence of a beautiful human soul. In accordance with astrological omens, I recommend that you go in quest of awe and feelings like reverence, amazement, adoration and veneration. Your mental, physical and spiritual health will flourish. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s the Season for Cherishing and Smoking Out Secrets. So let’s talk about the subject. 1. Some secrets are sad, haunting, even risky – and worth keeping secret. 2. Other secrets can be beautiful, healing and potentially life-changing if they are revealed gracefully. 3. Some secrets are buried so deeply that only very persistent seekers dig them up. 4. Some secrets are “hidden” in plain view and only visible to people who are clear and brave enough to identify them. I suspect you Tauruses will have a special knack for managing all types of secrets in the coming weeks, including those I mentioned. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I hope you won’t fill yourself up with appetizers and hors d’oeuvres in the coming weeks, Gemini. My soul will be at peace if I see you save your hunger for the main courses. Your motto should be “feasts, not snacks!” or “the real deal, not the pretenders!” or “The jubilee, not the distractions!” If you ever find yourself feeling halfhearted or inattentive, you’re probably not in the right situation. Here’s an affirmation to go with your mottoes: “I am liberating my divine appetite!” CANCER (June 21-July 22): Playwright Anton Chekhov (1860-1904) is regarded as one of history’s great writers. That does not mean everything he said was wise, useful or worthy. For example, he was once asked to give his opinion about ballet. “During the intermissions, the ballerinas stink like horses,” he replied. I hesitate to bring up such a vulgar reference, but I wanted to make a vivid point. I hope you will ignore the advice of people who don’t know what they are talking about, no matter how smart or charismatic they may be. I hope you will not attribute expertise to those who have no expertise. I hope you will rely on first-hand information, rigorous research, and reliable influences.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Researchers have determined that there are two basic dispositions among tigers. One is what they call “majesty.” Creatures with this orientation tend to be dignified, imposing and agile. The other type of tiger personality revolves around “steadiness.” This is the opposite of neuroticism and includes the qualities of being affable, easy to get along with and well-adjusted. I know many astrologers associate lions with you Leos, but I prefer to link you with tigers. Here’s my prediction: You are beginning a phase when you will be more majestic than steady – but with plenty of steadiness also available if you want it. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life,” author Randall Jarrell wrote. That’s decent advice, though I will add a caveat. If you entertain an idea for a while and it turns out that you love it, and you also love the beneficent effect it has on you, you may be smart to take it home to live with you. I’m guessing you Virgos are at a pivotal point in this regard. Not yet, but soon, you will know whether it will be wise to get cozier with certain influences you have been flirting with – or else decide they are not ones you want to keep. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If I could give an award for Most Curious Genius in the World, it would be to Libran author and naturalist Diane Ackerman. She would also get my prize for Most Voracious Learner, Best Questioner and Most Exuberant Seeker. “To hear the melody,” she writes, “we must hear all the notes.” In response to the question, “What is life?” she answers: “corsages and dust mites and alligator skin and tree-frog serenades and foreskins and blue hydrangeas and banana slugs and war dances and cedar chips and bombardier beetles.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I encourage you to be like Diane Ackerman. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Have you located any of your soul twins? If not, is that an interesting prospect? Please note that soul twins are not necessarily the same as dream lovers. They may simply be people with whom you share deep values and perspectives. They might aspire to influence the world in ways similar to you. With a soul twin, you feel at home in the world and extra happy to be yourself. I bring these meditations to your attention, Scorpio, because the coming months will be a likely time for you to encounter and engage with soul twins. Be on the alert!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Beethoven (1770-1827) was charismatic and forceful but also hot-tempered and prone to rude behavior. The writer Goethe said, “his talent amazed me,” and described him as an “utterly untamed personality.” Beethoven seldom lived in one home for long and loved to sing at the top of his lungs as he washed himself. Although he played piano with exquisite skill, he was clumsy as he moved through the world. Can you guess what astrological sign he was? Same as you! Sagittarius! I’m not saying you are exactly like this wild, unruly genius, but you do have tendencies in that direction. And in the coming weeks, I expect you’ll be inclined to be more Beethoven-esque than usual. Please work on emphasizing the winsome aspects. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I hope you have developed good boundaries. I hope you are so skilled at taking care of yourself that you refuse to let people manipulate you or hurt you. To make sure your discernment is working at peak levels, I will offer you a tip. In the English language, we have the idiom “to rub salt in a wound,” which refers to the fact that daubing salt in an open gash makes the pain worse. But did you know smearing sugar in a wound is equally distressing? The metaphorical lesson is that you should be vigilant for seemingly nice, sweet people who might also violate your boundaries. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I estimate this horoscope is worth $22,225. It has been made possible by my many years of disciplined meditations, extensive reading and an ever-growing devotion to astrology. But here’s the fun part: You can read these for free! I will, however, ask you to give your gifts joyously and generously in the coming weeks. Second, don’t be concerned about whether you will receive benefits in return. Find the sweet spot where you love bestowing blessings for no other reason except expressing your gratitude for the miraculous life you have been given. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you possess gambits, tactics and knacks that we might refer to as your “bag of tricks?” I hope so, because such an asset will be extra valuable during the coming weeks. You will be wise to employ every cagey move you can imagine and call on every favor that’s owed to you and cash in on every advantage you have accrued. I don’t want you to engage in outright cheating, but I encourage you to use ploys and stratagems that have full integrity. Be on the lookout for secret shortcuts, magic cookies and wild cards.
Full Service Bar Coffee • Breakfast Lunch • Dinner
1135 Main Ave. • DGO, CO
14 n Nov. 23, 2023
telegraph
Winter hours: Mon. - Thurs., 12-8pm • Fri., 12-10pm Sat., 11am-10pm • Sunday 11am-6pm
classifieds
Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon. Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check. (Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)
Ads can be submitted via: n www.durangotelegraph.com n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 679 E. 2nd Ave., #E2 Approximate office hours: Mon-Wed: 9ish - 5ish Thurs: On delivery Fri: Gone fishing; call first
Announcements
Wanted
Services
Cash for Vehicles, Copper, Alum Etc. at RJ Metal Recycle. Also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.
RealEstate
GOP Tuberville Is a jerk. Signed, Veteran, U.S. Air Force 17 years.
Own a Condo Here? Better yet, serve on the HOA Board? I want to talk to you & buy you coffee. Txt 262-308-2968.
Friday 7pm Dancing now at VFW Go to DurangoDancing.com to get on notification list.
ForSale
KDUR is Celebrating 50 years in 2025 and is on the hunt for past DJs. If you did a show and have a fond memory, story or recorded material, email Bryant Liggett, Liggett_b@fort lewis.edu or call 970.247.7261
Classes/Workshops Live with Dr Keneen Hope Nov 25 or 26. Durango or Mancos, Sacred Psoas-Body-Mind-Spirit Transformation Workshops. www.hopechiroyoga.com/workshops Size limited. 303-513-8055
Lazy Boy Queen Pull-Out Sofa bed. Scotch-guarded. 970-3851945. SUP Business for Sale Here’s your chance to own your own business! An existing and profitable stand up paddle board (and paddle accessories) company is looking to sell to an ambitious individual to take the business to the next level. The current owners recognize their time limitations in growing this business but believe it has a high potential to thrive under the right leadership. Contact info@coloradopaddlecompany.com for more information. TaoTronics 4k Action Camera New and in the box. Comes with user guide and all accessories that came with it: waterproof housing, handlebar/pole mount, mounts, battery, tethers, protective back cover, USB cable and lens cleaning cloth. $50. J.marie.pace@gmail.com
Letter Like a Graphic Novelist! Get the tools and techniques while learning in a fun, eclectic art pop-up space: Rodeo Odyssey! Ages 16+ Thursday, November 30, 5-7pm. Register at: https://tinyurl.com/letteratodyssey
Reruns Home Furnishings Brighten up your space. Lots of new inventory including console table, nightstands, lamps and fun décor. Great serving dishes and glassware for the holidays. Looking to consign smaller furniture pieces. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat. 385-7336.
telegraph
Wilderness Wellness Adventure Edu LifeWays is your local community for wilderness adventures and one-onone mentorship for youth, young adults and families. Access your local public lands with trained professionals dedicated to helping you find your path through the ups and downs. Hire a LifeWays guide to support you and your family! chris@lifewayscommunity .com or www.lifewayscommunity.com. Marketing Small/Local Businesses Media, website building and content editing, copywriting and editing, newsletters, blogs, etc. for small, local, independent or startup businesses. www.the saltymedia.com or email jnderge@ gmail.com Harmony Cleaning and Organizing Residential, offices, commercial and vacation rentals, 970-403-6192. Lowest Prices on Storage! Inside/outside storage near Durango and Bayfield. 10-x-20, $130. Outside spots: $65, with discounts available. RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.
HaikuMovieReview ‘Old Dads’ 50-year-old, first time, Gen X fathers, deal with their daddy issues – Lainie Maxson
BodyWork Massage by Meg Bush LMT, 30, 60 & 90 min., 970-7590199. Lotus Path Healing Arts A unique, intuitive fusion of Esalen massage, deep tissue & Acutonics. Call Kathryn, 970-201-3373.
CommunityService The Maker Lab in Bodo Park Collaborative workspace, tools, learning and equipment featuring metal and woodworking, laser cutting, 3D printing, electronics and sewing. Classes for all levels. To join more, go to www.themak erlab.org or email info@ themakerlab.org Free Grief Counseling For children, teens and young adults Contact griefcenterswco@gmail.com or call 970-764-7142
“I saw it in the Telegraph.” Read by thousands of discerning eyeballs every week. (*And a few that just look at the pictures.)
For more info. on how to get your business or event seen, email: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Nov. 23, 2023 n 15
16 n Nov. 23, 2023
telegraph