The Durango Telegraph, Dec. 17, 2020

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Dec. 17, 2020

Vol. XIX, No. 46 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Winter of content

Worth its weight

Quaran-tunes

Feuding parties reach agreement over Vallecito ski trails p8

State’s ‘gold standard’ voting system holds up to scrutiny p10

What to listen to when waiting out a pandemic p14

2 n Dec. 17, 2020

telegraph

lineup

4 La Vida Local

In the groove

PRID reaches agreement with Forest Service on Vallecito fee system

4 Thumbin’ It

by Missy Votel

Ear to the ground: “The only thing that’s better than it was in the ’90s is weed.”

– Local commiserating about the current state of our throw-away culture

Free ride 5 Word on the Street

10

6-7 Soapbox

Worth its weight

8 Local News

State’s election system passes scrutiny from GOP lawmakers

by Bente Birkeland, Colorado Public Radio

thepole

8

RegularOccurrences

Probably the greatest invention the Western Slope has ever seen has come to Durango: the free box.

Long a must-visit staple of Telluride’s main drag, Durango now has its own version in the 600 block of Main Avenue, near the former home of Concrete Skateboard Shop.

10 State News 12-13 Day in the Life

12-13

14 Top shelf

Cold comfort

Rejoicing in the glorious dog days of winter

16 Flash in the Pan

photos by Stephen Eginoire

18-19 Stuff to Do

14

19 Ask Rachel 20-21 Free Will Astrology

Tune in, tune out The year’s best music for waiting out a pandemic

22 End of the Line

by Chris Aaland

23 Classifieds

16

23 Haiku Movie Review

Kinda a big dill

On the Cover

Divulging a Jewish grandmother’s treasured recipe

Skier Mike Barney cuts a graceful glide through some fresh San Juan pow recently./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

by Ari LeVaux

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EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com)

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We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

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he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph LLC and

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The box was the brainchild of Animas High School graduate Finn Stowers, who implemented the idea with the help of his father and The Hive youth center’s Jeff Hamner.

Stowers, 19 and on leave from his sophomore year at CSU, said the idea came to him after doing an internship in Telluride for SBG Productions (of Blues & Brews fame.)

“SBG was based across the street from the free box, so I went by it all the time and always wondered why Durango didn’t have one,” Stowers said. “I began thinking about how to integrate one into our own town.”

An apparel and merchandising major, Stowers said he is particularly interested in combating “fast fashion” and the effects the disposable clothing industry has on the environment and resources.

“Fast fashion, companies like Zara and others, is giving fashion a bad name,” he said. “It’s very polluting. A lot of people don’t know that.”

Stowers said he wants to use the free box as a vehicle to get those fast fashion facts out while promoting a sustainable way to exchange clothes. “People don’t need to throw their old clothes away, they can give them to people who need them,” he said.

Right now, the box – which Stowers built with the help of his dad – has marked bins for mens, womens, unisex, babies, kids and shoes. It does not accept larger things like appliances, furniture or skis, like Telluride’s does. However, Stowers said he’s not ruling out the possibility down the road after seeing how things play out.

“Maybe in the future, we’ll open it up to more things. We’re still in kind of a trial period with The Hive and our landlord, Jean Pierre,” he said.

“We’re hoping it’s around for a while.”

Dec. 17, 2020 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal His name was Phroomf Perhaps everyone has a moment when they realize their upbringing was, in a word, screwed up. My moment was learning that other people’s Santa Clauses do not have a little alien friend who lives in Saint Nick’s knee pocket.

Now this isn’t as weird as it sounds. Christmas has its fair share of monsters in different cultures around the world. Think of the Krampus, or Frosty the Snowman.

But I have never met anyone outside of my sisters – and not even all of them – who admits to knowing the book about Kris Kringle’s extraterrestrial sidekick.

I’d like to relate to you the story of this little guy. There are just two problems in my way: U.S. copyright law, and my complete absence of memory about any salient details. I long thought this alien integral to the spirit of Christmas. Turns out his only lasting impact is the earworm of a song from the cassette tape that accompanied the book. This song has been stuck in my head on a loop since before the “Very Special Christmas” compilation albums became a thing.

So here’s everything I remember about this otherworldly elf from his indelible theme song: • I can’t spell his name, but it sounds like getting the wind knocked out of you by a large Nerf ball.

• He lives with Santa Claus.

• You’ve never heard about him and the reason is because • Nobody something something about his name • But he loves you just the same • Also, he is 8 inches high and wishes he were at least 16.

With the jaded eyes of an adult, I can see that this strange creature was some poor composer’s attempt to add ol’ Frumph to the Christmas canon. Hey, it worked for Rudolph, who someone invented for Montgomery Ward in 1939. But Rudolph had a better agent, and Poomf likely hasn’t drawn residuals in 30 years.

In fact, I wondered if this pocket alien occurred to me during some otherwise forgotten hallucinogenic contact high, or maybe was my quasi-Freudian way of coping with my parents’ divorce. But I didn’t wonder for long, because the internet exists.

While Froumf is so unpopular that no one has made knock-off porn about him, he really does exist, and someone out there bothered to put his song on YouTube.

And also, the complete book and cassette on eBay. Of course I bought them. It’s tangible proof that, at least in this case, I am no

glitch in the matrix. I have not yet cracked open the book. But I do have a functioning cassette deck in my old truck, and I saved this moment for you, dear readers. I am ready to tell you this alien’s name is actually spelled Phroomf. And I am ready to revisit this childhood fever dream, narrated by Ed Ames, with all of you.

COVER: Little alien in red pajamas and a weirdly large leather glove, looking bashful in Santa’s hands. Santa appears mostly interested in the thing’s pigeon-toed feet.

TITLE PAGE: There was once a thing called Phroomf Books. This media empire crashed before it flew. Guess it needed a Rudolph to guide the way.

COPYRIGHT PAGE: At least this story made it to a second printing. In 1986.

With an original copyright in 1954?

Guess I can’t blame this thing on the ’80s after all.

PAGE 1: Santa’s got a golden castle with a giant flag that says SANTA. Makin’ the North Pole great again. I bet all the elves are white.

PAGE 3: Multiracial elves. Whaddya know. Also, I thought for a moment Santa had no shirt on.

Fortunately, it’s just a skin-toned undershirt.

PAGE 4: The clock strikes nine.

AM or PM? No telling, since it’s dark for six months straight up there. Either way, nine o’clock is markedly less dramatic than midnight.

PAGE 6: The little alien, called a “pixie,” hurtles from the sky. He is terrified. And he hasn’t even reached Santa Tower yet.

PAGE 10: This book smells like repressed memories.

PAGE 14: The pixie is now a “little man” and the elves are “dwarfs.”

Santa, all I want for Christmas is some consistent nomenclature.

PAGE 17: One dwarf cooks stew in a witch’s cauldron in the fireplace.

The little man probably thinks he is set to become dinner.

PAGE 21: The dwarfs dance in a circle around the pixie man, likely not easing his terror in any way. At least they can’t spell Fphroomphf’s name either.

PAGE 25: Frommph gets his kangaroo pouch on Santa’s knee. But Santa previously had a hole torn in that knee like a jolly old Eddie Vedder. It’s not clear how the little alien man will keep from falling backward into Santa’s pants.

PAGE 29: THE END. I paid $24 plus media mail shipping for this? I didn’t remember the story because THERE IS NO STORY. NEXT UP: The song. Guaranteed to stick in my head until this classic gets its third printing.

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall:

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– Zach Hively

Steps toward nationalized legal marijuana with the House of Representatives approving a law to decriminalize marijuana last week

The return of winter once again catching residents off guard, with multiple accidents reported over the weekend due to slick and treacherous driving conditions

The COVID-19 vaccine arriving in Colorado and La Plata County, with the first local health-care worker getting immunized this week

Epic wildfires and drought conspiring to destroy California’s “irreplaceable” trees, such as the Joshua tree, giant sequoias and coastal redwoods

What is hopefully closure in the ugly Trump farce of election rigging, with electors staying the course and voting with the people to elect President-elect Joe Biden

The lack of snow hitting Colorado’s ski areas particularly hard, with many ski areas struggling to open terrain at a time when people need socially distanced recreation more than ever

telegraph

Spam Fodder “Spam” is just a lazy contraction of “spicedham,” which would mean “Pumpkin Spice Spam” is redundant, because in its full form, it’d be “pumpkin spice spiced ham.” Know what I mean? It’s like saying “ATM machine” because the “M” already stands for “machine.” But that didn’t stop Spam from coming out with a pumpkin-flavored version of their famous meat in a can, and it didn’t stop us from ordering so much that Walmart sold out within a week at $8.98 each, which has got to mean the world is ending.

WordontheScreen

Q

With the holidays upon us, the Telegraph asked, “What’s the ultimate 2020 gift?”

Kyle

“A vaccine for stupidity.”

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Jonathan

“An MIB-style, electro bio-mechanical, neural transmitting, zero synapse repositioner to forget it all ever happened.”

Mayra

“A clear crystal quartz, a bunch of intertwined sage and weed to clear and welcome the New Year.”

Nicole

“A hormone monster with the voice of Dave Chapelle.”

Eddie

“A chiminea for outdoor gatherings with friends.”

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Dec. 17, 2020 n

5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

The COVID celebrity treatment To the editor, When Trumps personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, recently spoke after his COVID-19 hospital stay, he bragged about receiving “celebrity treatment.” There is no doubt in many minds that the 300,000 already dead from this dreaded virus did not receive the same pricey life-saving medicines given to Trump, Chris Christie and the list goes on of well-off others getting nothing but the best.

It is unforgivable that the well-paid decision-makers with platinum health plans in Washington, D.C., have waited almost five months to think about another stimulus for the unemployed relying on food hand-outs and other humiliating circumstances. In European and other countries people are being taken care of immediately during this crisis.

Right now in the USA, 3,000/plus-a-day are dying from COVID-19, more than cancer, heart issues, 9/11 and wars in the 20th century.

The mask-less rich can party away during the holidays and easily survive COVID-19. We, The Everyday People, must listen to and do what experts like Dr. Fauci say to survive.

– Sally Florence, Durango

We deserve to know Trump’s truth To the editor, Andrew Weisman, former justice Department attorney who was involved in the impeachment investigation of Trump, recently stated that “The rule of law demands President Biden not be ‘squidgy’ about fully investigating Trump and his enablers. The ‘let’s look forward not backward’ philosophy is political.” It does not solve Americans’ right to know the truth about how our tax 4

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dollars were spent. Nor does it tell us how our elected representatives supported the rule of law for the benefit of the people over the four years. Our taxes paid them millions in salary and benefits. What did they do to improve our lives?

For the last 40 years, there has been a “trickle-down” of economic income inequity for 90 percent of Americans. Clear proof our government has not held working people as their valued constituents.

We have to be truthfully informed and prepared to call out President Biden if he becomes “squidgy.”

Nothing changes for the better unless people have the truth about the last four years. Without a full and factual inquiry into the Trump Administration, the 2024 election could produce a smarter, more criminally evil administration.

– Susan Troen, Durango

The end of Camelot To the editor, Just read your “American Pie” Op Ed from 10/22/20.

Enjoyed it very much, and if it’s accurate, I take solace that perhaps the ideal lives that good people, in spite of their differences, share much more in common.

By the way – I still have the portrait of JFK hanging in my home office. (It’s a copy of the one hanging in the ceremonial stairwell of the White House, that I purchased in 2012 at the Kennedy Library) In the Nov. 22, 2020, edition of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, there was not one syllable devoted to his memory on the 57th anniversary of his death. I had all I could do to not write to the absentee owners about this atrocious oversight.

I was 21 years old and most certainly politically naïve when JFK died. However, it was a time of Camelot (especially compared to the disaster that has been the current administration). Some years after his death, there was a remembrance cartoon with a dejected early middle age

man, walking on a bleak November day, the caption read: “November 22, 1963? – Oh yes, I remember now – That was the last day that I was young!”

So true – persons of a certain age at that time still remember the charming, charismatic and handsome prince, who lived in our American palace at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I still have the faded copy of that cartoon somewhere in a box of memorabilia, probably with my portrait of President Reagan, also charming and charismatic, as well as a lover of jelly beans, just like me.

– Cheers, Dad

Trump’s Pentagon lackeys To the editor, Vindictive Trump attacked our country for not reelecting him. Trump lost his cases in the courts and then the corrupt president tried to circumvent the will of the people by coercing Republican lawmakers in swing states to overturn the election and appoint pro-Trump electors to the Electoral College. He has placed his self-interest above the country’s interests, and he is sabotaging Biden’s incoming administration. Trump is trying to turn the civilian leadership in the Pentagon into a politicized organization by infiltrating highly political, unqualified personnel, including former campaign staff, and this weakens our military posture.

By delaying Biden’s transition team’s access to our government agencies, including intelligence agencies, Trump is jeopardizing our security in the world. Our adversaries, including Russia, China, North Korea and Iran, were pleased with Trump’s weakening of our deterrent capabilities.

Internally, Trump has done a terrible job combatting the coronavirus pandemic, and he is responsible for increasing hospitalizations and deaths. Trump is disrupting our economy by ending some key Federal Reserve loan programs on Dec. 31, 2020.

Trump’s drawdown of troops in Afghanistan and Iraq

is designed to cause havoc within the Biden administration and place Biden in the position of having to send troops back into war-torn countries. This will put more troops in harm’s way as they try to re-stabilize the countries and prevent terrorists from establishing bases.

Trump is causing some environmental havoc by opening up the Arctic Refuge to drilling for oil.

The outgoing corrupt and vindictive President is sabotaging the incoming administration and weakening our democracy, and he is promoting a radical following in the United States. Trump’s comments and actions are consistent with that of current and former dictators. Given it is the 11th hour in Trump’s Presidency, why is he loading up the civilian hierarchy in the Pentagon with his devout sympathizers? Is he hoping to not relinquish the presidency with the backing of his civilian henchmen in the Pentagon?

– Donald Moskowitz, Londonderry, N.H.

Jingling our bells on Dec. 24 The Telegraph is taking the week of Christmas, Dec. 24, off for some R&R and to sit home and eat and drink.

Not that we haven’t already been doing that for the last nine months. We’ll be well rested and back at it Dec. 31.

Have a safe and fun-filled holiday.

“We’ll print damned-near anything” The Telegraph prides itself on a liberal letters policy. We offer this forum to the public to settle differences, air opinions & undertake healthy discourse. We have only three requests: limit letters to 750 words, letters must be signed by the writer; and thank-you lists and libelous, personal attacks are unwelcome. Send your insights by Tuesday at noon to: PO Box 332, Durango, 81302 or e-mail your profundities to: telegraph@durangotelegraph.com. Let the games begin ...

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telegraph

Dec. 17, 2020 n 7

TopStory

Winter of content After years of land feud, Forest Service, PRID reach agreement at Vallecito

by Missy Votel

Pine Needle Mountaineering. All members also get a one-time 20 percent off coupon for Backcountry Exhe snow gods may not be cooperating, but at perience. least all of the entities involved with the Val“Backcountry and Pine Needle have been wonderlecito Nordic trails are. ful partners over the years and help us attract new The Vallecito Nordic Club, U.S. Forest Service and members,” he said.

Pine River Irrigation District (PRID) have at long last One change this year is that the popular demo reached an agreement on a fee structure for the popdays will be cancelled due to COVID. In addition, the ular – but contested – winter recreation area on the club is requesting a $5 fee for all dogs to help cover east side of the lake. Under a memorandum of unthe costs of dealing with the dreaded brown klister. derstanding announced this month, users of the “We are asking people to chip in $5 for dogs bewinter trail system will now be required to buy a cause they increase grooming costs,” Gianniny said.

PRID permit, either a day pass for $5 or a season pass As for enforcement of the PRID pass, Gianniny for $50. said that job will fall on PRID. “We’re about people having a quality recreation “We’re encouraging people to get one, but we’re experience up there,” PRID superintendent Ken not going to enforce it,” he said.

Beck said. “But all the things people depend on, like PRID’s Beck said enforcement strategy has not yet vault toilets and fishing in the summer, cost been finalized, but he will convene a meeting among money.” stakeholders and local law enforcement once the The fee will cover winter use of Bureau of ReclaMOU is finalized. He said PRID wants to make it a mation lands – particularly “the Beach” ski trails – collaborative process. that are overseen by PRID. Over the years, there has “We are going to talk about our options and been disagreement over who has jurisdiction of the what’s reasonable here,” he said. “We don’t want it trail system bordering the lake. Although many of to be draconian. It will probably be phased in in the trails are on Forest Service roads, they cross a stages. We don’t want to just drop the hammer on checkerboard of PRID lands. PRID has argued on people.” and off for years that winter recreation users should More than likely, folks will receive warnings on pay for access to its lands, just as fisherpeople and their windshields if they are not displaying PRID boaters pay to use the area in the summer. passes. However, he said the main goal is education Gary Gianniny, president of the Vallecito Nordic about PRID and what the money is going toward.

Club, said his group is happy for resolution to the “Once people know, I think they’ll be happy to issue, which has closed the Beach for the last few ski pay for recreation and to keep expanding recreation seasons. and help out,” Beck said.

“We’ve had a challenging relationship with PRID Of course, all of this could be a moot point this for a long time, we hope this year is a new chapter,” year if Ullr fails to hold up his end of the bargain. Gisaid Gianniny, who’s been on the Vallecito Nordic anniny said there is about 7 inches of snow from reboard for 10 years. “Land ownership up there has cent storms, but more is needed before grooming can After years of contested jurisdiction, the Forest Service, Vallecito begin. been a mess as long as I’ve been with the club.”

So far, Gianniny said PRID has stepped up to be a Nordic Club and Pine River Irrigation District have reached an agree“The challenge is, if we go out and groom with good partner, allowing the Nordic club to store its ment over usage of the ski trails at Vallecito. This year, users will be just 7 inches, we drag gravel up into the snowpack, equipment at the PRID facilities near the dam and required to buy either a $5 day pass or $50/season pass from PRID and that haunts us all season,” he said. helping with trail preparation. In exchange, Vallecito to use the area./Courtesy photo He said, over the years, snowpack has become inNordic is allowing people to buy PRID passes from its creasingly variable at Vallecito and other lower-level website (www.vallecitonordicclub.org.) But the best part by ski areas. “This is the face of climate change in our neighfar is the return of the famed Beach skate track. borhood,” he said. “Lower elevation skiing is not going to JusttheFacts “The really good news is, we can now start grooming on be consistent.” He pointed to last year, which had several What: Vallecito Nordic Club membership fundraiser the Beach – if we get enough snow – the views out there weeks of good skiing, and then another one a few years beWhen: Now thru Dec. 22 are really spectacular,” said Gianniny. fore where the trails were only open for a few weeks.

What: Buy a membership for $100/family or $75/individFor its part, Vallecito Nordic, an all-volunteer organizaNevertheless, he remains optimistic both about the ual and be entered into a drawing for a brand spanking tion that is responsible for grooming the trails, will keep snow and the new arrangement. new skate ski package donated by Pine Needle. Individual its same approach to fees.

“PRID has stepped forward to be a really good partner,” tickets also can be bought for $5 “People can buy a membership, pay at the trailhead, or Gianniny said. “We’ll see how it works out. I hope it will Where: www.vallecitonordicclub.org if they can’t afford it, they can just ski – although we enbe positive.” courage at least a donation to the club,” he said.

People looking for up-to-date trail conditions can visit Vallecito like gas and regular maintenance for the groomers. Also, if This year, memberships to Vallecito Nordic are $100 for people buy a membership by Dec. 22, they’ll be entered Nordic’s Twitter feed. To buy a PRID pass or Vallecito Nordic a family or $75 for an individual. Those dues go to things into a prize drawing for a new high-end skate package from membership, visit www.vallecitonordicclub.org. n

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Dec. 17, 2020 n

9

ColoradoNews

Testing the ‘gold standard’ GOP election officials to state lawmakers: trust Colorado’s system

by Bente Birkeland Colorado Public Radio

C

olorado’s “gold standard” election system was under the spotlight Tues. Dec. 15. It was the day after the state’s electors cast ballots for Democratic Presidentelect Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris, who won Colorado’s popular vote by over 13 points.

The state’s Republican-led Legislative Audit Committee convened the meeting on election integrity at the Colorado Capitol, featuring a roster of GOP election officials as witnesses, as well as a prominent member of President Trump’s post-election legal team.

The hearing was a departure from the bipartisan committee’s usual work.

Typically, the audit committee meets to hear the results of investigations into state departments and agencies. The committee cannot audit counties, which administer elections, or private companies, which make the equipment for those elections.

About a dozen people testified at the committee’s invitation, and none presented evidence of widespread voter fraud in Colorado. Most spoke instead to the strength of the state’s system and some suggested areas of improvement.

The president’s senior legal advisor Jenna Ellis was the first witness. Ellis participated remotely and brought up general accusations against Dominion Voting Systems. The company, which has played a starring role in Republican conspiracy theories about election-stealing, is headquartered in Denver and used by 62 of Colorado’s 64 counties.

“I would encourage this committee to look at not only the administration of the elections in our state, but also to take a look specifically at why the Dominion voting systems is a part of our elections here in Colorado, as well as the mail-in voting system,” said Ellis, who did not offer any specific evidence of election fraud in the state.

Dominion’s technology was selected by a bipartisan committee under the administration of former Republican Secretary of State Wayne Williams and has been independently tested and audited hundreds of times. Colorado is one of the few states in the country that goes back after elections and checks the tallies on machines against the votes on the original paper ballots, a process known as a risk-limiting audit.

“I can state that in Colorado, our voting systems accu-

A hearing on election integrity at the Colorado State Capitol on Dec. 15. The hearing was held at the request of state Republican lawmakers to investigate the state’s election system. After much ado, it was determined there was no “there there” regarding claims of voter fraud./ Photo by Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite rately record the votes of every Coloradan, and we’ve proved it with respect to Dominion 868 times,” Williams told the committee. He also added that in Georgia, which also uses Dominion, the results held up after a full hand recount.

“There is no one in Moscow, nobody in Beijing, nobody in Antifa, nobody in the Trump campaign that has changed a single ballot in the state of Colorado because you physically can’t do that unless you broke into the clerk’s office,

you bypass the cyber locks, you somehow circumvented the 24-7 video surveillance and the security protocols that are in place,” Williams said.

Republican Scott Gessler, a former secretary of state and election attorney, also testified, telling the panel, “I think Dominion has generally performed very well in Colorado.”

The state’s current top election official, Democratic Secretary of State Jena Griswold, declined an invitation to answer questions during the hearing and instead submitted 4

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a written statement testifying to the system’s reliability.

Republican members of the audit committee attended in person, while Democrats participated remotely. The hearing brought enough people to the Capitol that the state set up an overflow room in order to maintain social distancing. Extra law enforcement officers were stationed in the building, but there were no disruptions.

Since the November election, the response from Colorado Republicans to the results – and to President Trump’s unrelenting attacks on them – has varied significantly.

GOP chair, U.S. Rep. Ken Buck, held an event with Republican election officials that aimed to dispel conspiracy theories but he also signed an amicus brief attempting to throw out the election results in four crucial states.

A group of state House Republicans also asked for an investigation into Colorado’s results and questioned the election’s reliability based on unsupported fraud claims.

The hearing appeared to try to walk a middle line, with witnesses both defending and raising concerns about the state’s election integrity.

An equal number of Democrats and Republicans serve on the Audit Committee, and the chair rotates between the parties.

Currently, it’s held by GOP Rep. Lori Saine, of Weld County, who called the hearing over the objections of Democrats on the panel. At one point in the hearing, Democratic Sen. Rhonda Fields, of Aurora, said the meeting was “ridiculous.”

“I’m just really disappointed that we’re using state dollars and resources to address

fraud. It has not been established even on a national level. I don’t even know how many judges have turned out saying that there’s nothing here,” Fields said. “There’s nothing. A nothing burger, nothing here.”

Democratic Rep. Tracy Kraft Tharp, of Arvada, called the hearing “unprecedented.” But she also said she hopes some good comes out of it. “I hope it’s making people feel more confident (in the voting system),” she said.

However, Republicans on the committee defended the value of this day-long dive into the state’s election functions.

“My goal with this hearing is both to acknowledge that Colorado remains the gold standard of election security while also finding ways to raise that standard higher,” Sen. Paul Lundeen, Colorado Springs, said.

“This hearing is not just about the ‘elections past.’ it’s about the ‘elections future,’ and it’s about ensuring that Coloradans at home have peace of mind.”

Saine said she got a great sense of the election system’s strengths and weaknesses through the testimony.

For Republican Rep. Dave Williams, Colorado Springs, who was part of the group that asked for the “forensic audit” of Dominion, the hearing offered some comfort, while raising other concerns. Williams said he’d still like to see an audit of the Dominion software, more focus on removing ineligible people from voter rolls and new laws to reduce the ability of someone to collect and return numerous ballots on behalf of other voters.

“We believe that regardless of our policy

Ralliers continue to carry the torch for Donald Trump in front of the Colorado Capitol on Dec. 15. A day earlier, Colorado’s electors cast their votes for President-elect Joe Biden, as did a majority of the country’s electors./ Photo by Kevin J. Beaty/Denverite disputes, that at the end of the day, we’re settling it at the ballot box and not through violent means. And I think for the longest time, the American public and politicians have maybe taken that for granted,” said Williams. “Now with the questions that have been raised around this election cycle... we have to do whatever we can to make sure that we’re putting to rest any and all doubt.”

The hearing concluded with the Repulicans requesting that the Colorado Auditor’s office conduct a performance audit of the Secretary of State’s office. That effort failed on a 4-to-4 party-line vote, with one Democrat dismissing the idea as a “fishing expedition.” The office was last audited in 2015.

For more stories like this from Colorado Public Radio, go to www.cpr.org. n

Open regular days & hours ANNIE’S ORPHANS

Shop Local, Shop Jimmy’s Hours: Tue - Fri 11-6 & Sat 11-5: www.jimmysmusic.supply 1480 E. 2nd Ave. & 15th St. • 970-764-4577

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Dec. 17, 2020 n 11

dayinthelife

Cold comfort

by Stephen Eginoire

A

s the ultimate wintry embrace marked by December's solstice draws near, it's a magical time to head to the hills to make some turns. Yes, rocks will be hit, and bases scraped and gouged. Frostbite conditions will be endured, and highly varied, questionably stable snowpack is a given. But there's nothing quite like the stoke of the ski season's first days, where it just feels so right to subject one's self to sub-optimal conditions. Here's a look at December from on high:

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thesecondsection 14 n Dec. 17, 2020

TopShelf

Quaran-tunes Music to listen to while waiting out a pandemic

by Chris Aaland

I

t’s been months since there’s been anything to write about on the music and nightlife front. I felt like a lost sailor adrift on the sea without weekly deadlines to miss and piss off los jefes at the Telegraph. No concerts.

No meeting the buddies on Friday night. Hell, I hardly drink anymore. #Sad. Imagine my excitement when Missy Votel called last week and asked for an end-of-year column.

I got to know my 97,000-song iTunes library rather well these past nine months. My living room became my home office, as I only ventured out to KSUT one day a week, usually on weekends when nobody else was around. That meant eight hours of music per day – sometimes on the radio, sometimes on vinyl, but usually deep into my ever-expanding digital library.

Here are a few new things that caught my fancy in 2020: 1. Margo Price, “That’s How Rumors Get Started.” The Midwest farmer’s daughter returned with her third album and veered farther away from the traditional country sounds of her 2016 debut toward something more contemporary, yet eerily familiar. The catchy, wistful title track, in particular, sounds more like “Rumours” era Fleetwood Mac than vintage Loretta Lynn. The rest of the record is solid as well, with the lead single, “Letting Me Down,” and her ramblin’ anthem, “Prisoner of the Highway,” among other standouts.

2. Local vinyl. We don’t even have a record store anymore but that didn’t stop StillHouse Junkies and Six Dollar String Band from pressing wax.

StillHouse’s second full-length record, “Calamity,” dropped about a month before the pandemic hit and signaled the start of what was to be a huge year for the Junkies, what with major festival appearances, gigs in the British Isles and signing with a national booking agency. Songs like “Roll it Home,” “Mountains of New Mexico” and “Michigan” still managed to become crowd favorites, thanks in no small part to their Rolling Junkie Revues that swapped festival stages for front porches all summer long.

Not to be outdone, the Six Dollar boys put out “Fire on the Mountain” midsummer. The double LP collects 21 traditional old-time numbers like “Tater Patch,” “Fire on the Mountain” and “Mole in the Ground.” Want to hear the latest from Tony, Brendan, Stephen & Robin? Then you better

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have a turntable, because this treasure isn’t available digitally or on CD. 3. Sturgill Simpson, “Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 1: The Butcher Shoppe Sessions.” Despite being young and fit, COVID-19 landed Sturgill in the hospital this summer.

He emerged with a vision: to re-record many of his outlaw country hits as bluegrass songs. Sturgill was a bluegrass boy at heart growing up in rural Kentucky and always intended tunes like “Turtles (All the Way Down)” and

“Old King Coal” to be done in the high and lonesome style.

4. “On the Road: A Tribute to John Hartford.” I don’t normally go Full Monty on tribute records, but when I fall for them, I fall hard. All the contemporary jam band suspects and a few Colorado collaborations are present on this 15-track collection. Sam Bush, Yonder Mountain String Band, Railroad Earth and the Travelin’ McCourys are all there, along with Leftover Salmon side-projects like the4

High Hawks. My favorites? The Infamous Stringdusters’ handling of “Gentle on My Mind” (a song, it seems, written for Travis Book’s voice as much as it was for Elvis Presley or Glen Campbell) and Leftover Salmon’s “The Category Stomp” (a psychedelic highlight from Hartford’s late ‘60s RCA catalog).

5. Lawn Chair Kings, “Before it All.” It’s no secret that I’m a fanboy of The Nord’s. So when Erik dropped off a copy of the fifth proper LCK album a few weeks ago, I knew it would find a home in my Tundra’s CD changer, probably never to be ejected. The Kings are at their best when they rock, and the 2019 lineup of original members Nordstrom (guitar) and Dan Leek (bass) and more recent additions Patrick Dressen (drums) and Hap Purcell (banjo, guitar) is my favorite of their incarnations. “Runaway Truck,” “Malacrianza” and “Food Fight at the Golden Corral” are welcome additions to their canon.

6. Caitlin Cannon, “The TrashCannon Album.” Our little girl’s all grown up and moved to Nashville and I’m sad/not sad. Quite frankly, she’s way too talented to be our little secret. Tunes like “Going for the Bronze,” “Toolbag” and “Dumb Blonde” are sophisticated and catchy enough for the pop country crowd, yet gritty enough for alt-country snobs like me. But it’s introspective, painful tunes like “Mama’s a Hairdresser” and “Drink Enough” where she wears her heart on her sleeve, airing out all of her dirty laundry for the whole world to hear. Like

No local music fanboy’s year is complete without the lords of lounge furniture’s latest, “Before It All.” The fifth CD for the LCK features such soon-to-be classics as “Runaway Truck and Food Fight at the Golden Corral.” her friends in StillHouse Junkies, Caitlin’s star was rising in the Before Times. Hopefully the return to normal means she can hang up her hairdresser’s shears once and for all. If Dolly Parton tucked away an orphaned daughter in the San Juan Mountains, she named her Caitlin.

7. Town Mountain, “You Can’t Win ‘Em All.” Social distancing meant Durango’s favorite Asheville band didn’t get to see each other much this summer.

But they did release a single midway through the year that signaled a possible

shift for the group. “You Can’t Win ‘Em All” is a country tear-jerker that George Jones would have been happy to sing … no coincidence, since Robert Greer’s voice has been compared to The Possum’s countless times through the years. Rather than showcase the ripping banjo and mandolin of Jesse Langlais and Phil Barker (they provide background ambient sounds), the tune is slathered with pedal steel and fiddle, the latter courtesy of longtime Townie Bobby Britt. Barker wanted to write a “last song on the juke-

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box,” and he certainly succeeded with this slow burner. I can’t wait to see where this leads the band in future years.

8. Songs from the Road Band, “Outside of Omaha” and “Wrong Train Right Time.” How did Charles Humphrey III spend his quarantine? At first, he was on his girlfriend’s landscaping crew. Then he went fishing. And fishing.

And fishing. And fishing some more.

Whether he was casting flies for Appalachian brookies, browns and rainbows, or on the bay chasing redfish, specs or sheapshead, very few days went by without Sir Charles posting fishing pics on Facebook. But he and the boys did cut a single or three this year. I bought these two the day they dropped. “Outside of Omaha” and “Wrong Train Right Time” will become favorites at future Four Corners festivals, I promise.

9. Lucinda Williams, “Good Souls Better Angels.” Lu is best known for lover-scorned tunes. She finally had enough with the state of American politics to write her angriest and best album in two decades.

10. Devon Gilfillian. 2020 was a hell of a year for Devon. The soul man’s debut album, “Black Hole Rainbow,” came out in January and will likely be drenched in Grammy accolades sometime next spring.

With no touring, he then released a stunning recreation of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” record in October.

Mama, we’re all crazy now? Email me at chris@ksut.org.n

Dec. 17, 2020 n 15

FlashinthePan

Kinda a big dill

by Ari LeVaux

M

om got her chicken soup recipe from her mom. It’s a simple, brothy affair with lots of dill, the kind of soup that’s popular throughout the Yiddish diaspora, often referred to half-jokingly as Jewish Penicillin, because it always makes you feel better, no matter what ails you.

Yiddish is the native tongue of the Ashkenazi Jews of Eastern Europe and is based mostly on German but also contains Russian and Slavic words and a Hebrew alphabet. It’s a culture as much as a language, with its own traditions, recipe, and history of struggle of a community that has always been more a state of mind than a nation with borders. Throughout our tumultuous history, chicken soup with dill remained a constant.

Mom, her mom and their foremothers have all helped carry the torch forward to this point, all but assuring it will continue into the next generation as my kids are fans of chicken dill soup. But there is one aspect of this tradition that won’t continue: the step where you put a raw chicken into a pot of water. The idea of boiling a raw chicken bothers me the way boiled hot dogs do. I have to brown it first. And if you try it once, you’ll never go back.

It began when I started bringing home rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, as a quick way to make soup. You put a greasy brown bird in a pot of water with some veggies, and by the time it’s hot, the soup is done. I quickly realized that convenience wasn’t the only perk of “cheaters chicken soup,” as I called it.

I was pleased to taste the rich flavor those soft and juicy chickens gave to my soup and decided to learn how to recreate that magic in my own oven. Turns out, roasting your own chicken requires little more than a chicken – and a sliver of foresight.

Alas, on a typical afternoon, by the time my thoughts turn to dinner, it’s too late to roast a chicken. But If you give me a raw bird and four hours’ notice, I can brown it with the best of them. Anyone can, because it’s about as easy as turning the oven on and putting in the chicken.

In my house, by the time a browned chicken makes it into the soup pot it looks like it’s been accosted by piranhas, and that’s OK. The carrion crows posing as my children are part of the plan, because I roast a 6-pound bird, which leaves plenty of meat left over for soup, even after

feeding us dinner. My kids are trained to save their bones, which I collect after dinner, smashing them with a frying pan to release their marrow. I use the broken, browned bones to make a lusty bone stock.

My soup isn’t clear like Mom’s. The rich, murky broth hides the chunks, including the tomatoes and potatoes I sneak in, breaking further from tradition. But even in my relatively busy and rebellious bowl of soup, the dominant dill flavor remains.

I roast my chicken with an herb or mix of herbs like Italian seasonings, harissa, herbes de Provence, parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme. When browning a bird for Jewish Penicillin, the herb might as well be dill.

Oven-Browned Chicken 1 6-lb chicken ¼ cup olive oil 3 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon pepper 1 tablespoon garlic powder ½-cup dried dill (or 3 ounces chopped fresh dill) 2 medium-sized potatoes, cut into quarters 4 cloves of smashed garlic 1 onion, quartered 2 sticks of celery, chopped in ½-inch pieces

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2 medium-sized carrots, cut into 1/2-inch coins Rinse the chicken and let it dry – or dry it with a towel. Place the seasoned bird in a deep pan large enough that the chicken doesn’t quite touch the sides of the pan. Rub it with the olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder and dill. In a medium-sized mixing bowl, rub the remaining oil and spices on the potatoes, garlic, onions, celery and any organ or neck meat that came with the bird, and stuff it all into the cavity. Place any veggies that don’t fit around the bird.

Bake uncovered, breast-side down, at 325 degrees for three hours (or one hour per two pounds of bird), turning it over for the last 45 minutes.

That night for dinner, enjoy some ovenbrowned chicken and juicy vegetables from the cavity. After dinner, strip all the remaining meat off of the bones and cut into bitesized chunks for use in the soup.

As for the bones, break or cut them if possible, to let out the marrow. Boil the bones for as long as you can, covered. I use a pasta boiler with the broken bones in the insert so I can easily remove them when it’s time – which it isn’t quite. Turn off the heat before getting ready for bed, so that the pot is cool enough to put in the fridge, bones and all, before you turn in for the night.

The next morning, strain the bones out and skim as much fat as you care to, and return the broth to the fridge until it’s time to make zup, as we say in Yiddish.

Mom’s Medicine 1 3-lb raw chicken or the leftovers of a 6-lb roasted chicken and its accompanying broth 1 cup dry dill, chopped 2 onions, chopped 2 cups chopped celery 1 tablespoon salt, more to taste My additions: 1 pound of potatoes (Mom would use matzo balls), and a ½-pound chopped tomatoes for acid (other cooks might add a touch of lemon juice or vinegar) If starting with a raw chicken: cut it into pieces and simmer in 8 quarts of water with a tablespoon of salt for two hours. Skim some fat, or not.

If starting with yesterday’s chicken, add the leftover chicken meat to the broth you made from your broken, browned bones. Also add any remaining cavity vegetables.

Add the vegetables to the cooked chicken and broth, and simmer for an hour. Adjust salt and dill to taste. n

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Dec. 17, 2020 n 17

StufftoDo

Thursday17 Heartwarming Soup Sale, featuring Mediterranean clam chowder, to benefit The Hive, 4-6 p.m., pick up soup at the Dandelion Café, 725 E. 2nd Ave. Quarts cost $10 minimum donation and proceeds go to help local families in need over the holidays. Masks required. To buy soup or for info, go to: www.thehivedgo.org

Friday18 The Majesty of Christmas, a virtual concert presented by 3rd Ave. Arts, 7 p.m. Featuring Durango Chamber Singers. Tickets at: 3rdavearts.org.

Saturday19

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is Monday at noon. To submit an item, email: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

“Christmas at Home with the Bar D Wranglers,” 7 p.m., presented online by the Community Concert Hall @ Fort Lewis College. Tickets are $15 and available at www.durangoconcerts.com.

Holiday Donation Drive for the La Plata Family Center Coalitions, 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., LPEA headquarters, 45 Stewart St. Hosted by Four Corners Broadcasting and LPEA. Accepting donations with an emphasis on cash to help fund human services in rural Southwest Colorado.

Donations can be dropped in person or donate online at www.radiodurango.com.

Sunday20 National Rearrange Your Sock Drawer Day

Monday21 Meditation and Dharma Talk with Matthew Brensilver, 5:30-7 p.m. online at www.durangodharmacen ter.org/

Tuesday22 7 Rivers Farmers Market, winter farmers market, 12-3 p.m. featuring local farmers, food vendors and artisans, La Plata County Fairgrounds. Masks and social distancing required.

It wouldn’t be Christmas in Durango without its favorite hometown country-western crooners. This year, the Bar D Wranglers are going virtual with their annual holiday serenade, “Christmas at Home.” Presented by the Community Concert Hall @ Fort Lewis College, the show was recorded at the Reising Stage Events Center, east of Durango. The event streams at 7 p.m. Dec. 19. Tickets for the online show are $15 and available at www.durangoconcerts.com.

Saturday26 Beginners Skate Ski Clinic, 1-3 p.m., Durango Nordic Center. $30 with season pass, $35 without season pass. To confirm availability, call 970-385-2114. www.durangonordic.org.

Mountainfilm Winter Shorts Virtual Fundraiser, 9 a.m., Dec. 26 – midnight, Dec. 27. Individual ticket: $25; household ticket: $50. www.mountainfilm.org

Sunday27

Wednesday23 Thursday24 Wrap your gifts in the Telegraph day

Friday25 Ho,ho, ho

Wednesday30 National Bacon Day

Ongoing Episode 4 of the “Actor’s Journal” featuring John Lithgow, of “The Crown,” as well as original works, essays, poems, remembrances by various actors.

Presented by Durango Playfest. Tickets at: www.durango playfest.org/actors-journal

Boxing and Box Recycling Day Second-to-last holiday shopping day

Alpine Bank Full Moon Howler, enjoy the trails of the Durango Nordic Center under the full moon, 6-9 p.m. Pass required. www.durangonordic.org

Monday28 Meditation and Dharma Talk with Katherine Barr, 5:30-7 p.m. online at www.durangodharmacenter.org/

“Home for the Holidays” online variety show presented by Telluride Theatre, streaming nightly at 7 p.m., Dec. 19-24. Tickets and info at: www.telluridetheatre.org “daGeneral’s Wake Up Call” podcast series of local musicians hosted by Kirk James, tinyurl.com/y7yvb7al

Tuesday29 7 Rivers Farmers Market, winter farmers market, Tuesdays, 12-3 p.m. featuring local farmers, food vendors and artisans, La Plata County Fairgrounds.

La Plata Open Space conservancy raffle fundraiser, win either a hut-to-hut bike trip in the San Juan Mountains or a two-night stay in Santa Fe. Tickets 4

Gift Certificates available!

A bag of Fahrenheit Coffee makes a wonderful holiday gift!

Always local, always fresh 1099 Main Ave., under the big clock Mon.- Thurs., 7:30am-3pm and Fri., 7:30am-1pm

18 n Dec. 17, 2020

telegraph

AskRachel

Doctored up, running dry and Chexing out Interesting fact: The Latin “doctor” means teacher.

Guess my poli-sci prof has more right to the term than my OB/GYN does.

Dear Rachel, Don’t tell me you’re going to start calling yourself Dr. Rachel in support of Jill Biden and some messed-up idea of feminism. No one with an English major or a history degree deserves the same title as people who do open-heart surgery. It’s like buying a square foot of land in Scotland and calling yourself a lord. Get over yourself. Why do people pretend to be more important than they are?

- A REAL Doctor Dear Mr. Proctologist, Talk about setting up a straw-woman. Now that you brought it up, why shouldn’t I call myself doctor? If Drs. John, Hook, Teeth and Phil can use the title, so can I. Plus, I effing guarantee that if Jill Biden were some bearded, tweed-sporting philosophy professor with season tickets to men’s basketball and oh yeah WERE ALSO A MAN, no one would write some op-ed failing to take her down a peg. This is a hard pill for folks like you to swallow. Especially those affronted by Dr. Biden’s education, but not Melania’s interior design aesthetic.

– Check out these creds, Dr. Rachel Dear Rachel, I ran out of booze the other day. That happens about once a month. No big deal. Except this are $10 each or five for $40, available at: www.lposc.org until 10 a.m., Dec. 21. Proceeds go to conserve land and water in Southwest Colorado.

Holiday Hive Drive, fill out a wish list to hang on the tree or pick one up to help a local family in need, 600 Main Ave., #111.

Donations can also be dropped off at Alpine Bank, 1099 Main Ave., or mailed to The Hive, P.O. Box 4432, Durango, CO 81301, now thru Dec. 21.

Animas Museum’s Online Holiday Store is now open, shop for books on regional history and winter-themed historic images. Purchases can be picked up via a contactless system thru Dec. 24. Visit: animas museum.org/HolidayStore.

The D&SNGRR Polar Express and Cascade Canyon trains run on select dates through Jan. 3. Socially distanced cars; masks required. For info, go to: durangotrain.com.

Winter Solstice Artisans Market, runs thru Dec. 23, noon-6 p.m. Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. Free On-Snow Avalanche Awareness Field Sessions presented by Friends of the San Juans, Jan. 9-10, 2021, Andrew’s Lake.

Pre-registration required: www.thesanjuans.org.

“Dinosaur Discoveries: Ancient Fossils, New Ideas,” a traveling exhibit from the American Museum of Natural History, Powerhouse Science Center. For gallery

time, I’m quarantining so I can see my best oldperson friend before Christmas. And I’m taking it seriously. Literally not leaving the house or letting anything in the house. This friend is a national treasure so I’m not taking any chances.

I thought I’d die without my liquor. But it turns out, I’m weirdly OK. Starting to think sobriety doesn’t sound so bad after all. Is this some weird delusional side effect of withdrawal? When can I expect it to pass?

-– Running Dry Dear Ambulating Arid, Sounds serious. I’m going to refer you to a specialist.

Due to current protocols, they should be able to see you oh, about July. In the meantime, ask a trusted friend to pick up this prescription for you. When the bottle comes in the house, simply open the lid, pour some onto a rag, use that rag to disinfect the bottle, then pour yourself a shot. You should feel right as rain in no time.

– Repeat as needed, Dr. Rachel Dear Rachel, Here’s the good news: without half as many office parties and neighborhood parties and family disasters, I’m eating a tiny fraction of other people’s underwhelming cookies this season. Here’s the bad news: I bought a butt load of stuff to make Chex mix, and I’m eating that as a fourth and fifth meal every day. Tell me this is healthy, right? Like, there’s probably fiber and stuff in there, right?

– December Dieter

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Cereal Connoisseur, As a practicing advisory doc, I can tell you that not only is there fiber in your Chex mix, there is also protein (presuming you put in the peanuts, which is the best part of Chex mix). Pretzels are the worst part, but they’re harmless filler that ultimately makes you appreciate the peanuts even more. The wheat squares used to be the worst, even worse than pretzels, but with age comes a new appreciation for them. One out of one Rachels recommends wholeheartedly. Eat without guilt, my friend.

– Best taken with food, Dr. Rachel, D.Lish

hours, go to: www.powsci.org.

Sunnyside and Fort Lewis Mesa libraries are open, providing books, movies, music, audio books and internet, Mon.-Fri., 2:30-7 p.m. or call 970-375-3816. Curbside service also available.

Durango Public Library Weekly Activity Kits available for curbside pickup every Tuesday. Kits include supplies for one project for preschool, elementary and teenage students. A new kit is released every Tuesday while supplies last. To request, email reference@DurangoGov.org or call (970) 375-3380.

PIVOT: Skateboard Deck Art exhibit, over 100 skateboard decks painted by 30 different Native American artists, on view by appointment through spring 2021, Center of Southwest Studies, Fort Lewis College. swcenter.fortlewis.edu/

Deadline for “Stuff to Do” submissions is noon Monday. (*No paper Dec. 24) To submit an item, email: calendar@durango telegraph.com

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Dec. 17, 2020 n 19

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): Temporary gods are deities who come alive and become available for particular functions, and are not otherwise necessary or called upon. For instance, in ancient Greece, the god Myiagros showed up when humans made sacrifices to the goddess Athena. His task was to shoo away flies. I encourage you to invent or invoke such a spirit for the work you have ahead of you. And what’s that work? 1. To translate your recent discoveries into practical plans. 2. To channel your new-found freedom into strategies that will ensure freedom will last. 3. To infuse the details of daily life with the big visions you’ve harvested recently. What will you name your temporary god?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Author Virginia Woolf said that we don’t wholly experience the unique feelings that arise in any particular moment. They take a while to completely settle in, unfold and expand. From her perspective, then, we rarely “have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” With that as your starting point, Taurus, I invite you to take a journey through the last 11 months and thoroughly evolve all the emotions that weren’t entirely ripe when they originally appeared. Now is an excellent time to deepen your experience of what has already happened; to fully bloom the seeds that have been planted.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Wonder is a bulky emotion,” author Diane Ackerman writes. “When you let it fill your heart and mind, there isn’t room for anxiety, distress or anything else.” I’d love for you to use her observation as a prescription in 2021, Gemini. According to my understanding of the coming year’s astrological portents, you will have more natural access to wonder and amazement and awe than you’ve had in a long time. And it would make me happy to see you rouse those primal emotions with vigor – so much so that you drive away at least some of the flabby emotions like anxiety, which are often more neurotic than real.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ll use the words of Cancerian painter Frida Kahlo to tell you the kind of intimate ally you deserve. If for some inexplicable reason you have not enjoyed a relationship like this before now, I urge you to make 2021 the year that you finally do.

And if you HAVE indeed been lucky in this regard, I bet you’ll be even luckier in 2021.

Here’s Frida: “You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled … who makes you feel safe … who wants to dance with you … who never gets tired of studying your expressions … who listens when you sing,

20 n Dec. 17, 2020

Week of Dec. 17, 2020

who supports you when you feel shame and respects your freedom … who takes away the lies and brings you hope.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 2019, singer Ariana Grande got Japanese characters tattooed on her palm. She believed them to be a translation of the English phrase “7 Rings,” which was the title of a song she had released. But knowledgeable observers later informed her that the tattoo’s real meaning was “small charcoal grill.” She arranged to have alterations made, but the new version was worse: “Japanese barbecue grill finger.” I offer you this story for two reasons, Leo. First, I applaud the creativity and innovative spirit that have been flowing through you. Second, I want to make sure that you keep them on the right track – that they continue to express what you want them to express. With proper planning and discernment, they will.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While sleeping, most of us have over a thousand dreams every year. Many are hard to remember and not worth remembering. But a beloved few can be lifechangers. They have the potential to trigger epiphanies that transform our destinies for the better. In my astrological opinion, you are now in a phase when such dreams are more likely than usual.

That’s why I invite you to keep a recorder or a pen and notebook by your bed so as to capture them. For inspiration, read this testimony from Jasper Johns, whom some call America’s foremost living artist: “One night I dreamed that I painted a large American flag, and the next morning I got up and I went out and bought the materials to begin it.” Painting flags ultimately became one of Johns’ specialties.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I composed a prayer that’s in alignment with your current astrological omens. If it feels right, say it daily for the next 10 days. Here it is: “Dear Higher Self, Guardian Angel, and Future Me: Please show me how to find or create the key to the part of my own heart that’s locked up.

Reveal the secret to dissolving any inhibitions that interfere with my ability to feel all I need to feel. Make it possible for me to get brilliant insights into truths that will enable me to lift my intimate alliances to the next level.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Author Herman Hesse observed, “Whoever wants music instead of noise, joy instead of pleasure, soul instead of gold, creative work instead of business, passion instead of foolery, finds no home in this trivial world.” I hope you will prove him wrong in 2021, Scorpio. According to my reading of astrological omens, the rhythms of life will be in alignment with yours if you do indeed make bold at-

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tempts to favor music over noise, joy over pleasure, soul over gold, creative work over business, passion over foolery. Moreover, I think this will be your perfect formula for success – a strategy that will guarantee you’ll feel at home in the world more than ever before.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): According to researcher Nick Watts and his documentary film “The Human Footprint,” the average person speaks more than 13 million words in a lifetime, or about 4,300 per day. But I suspect and hope that your output will increase in 2021. I think you’ll have more to say than usual – more truths to articulate, more observations to express, more experiences to describe. So please raise your daily quota of self-expression to account for your expanded capacity to share your intelligence with the world.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Our thinking should have a vigorous fragrance, like a wheat field on a summer’s night,” philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote. I encourage you to adopt that joyful mandate as your own. It’s a perfect time to throw out stale opinions & moldy ideas as you make room for an aromatic array of fresh, spicy notions. To add to your bliss, get rid of musty old feelings & decaying dreams & stinky judgments. That brave cleansing will make room for the arrival of crisp insights that smell really good.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Have you heard the term “catastrophize?” It refers to when people experience a small setback or minor problem but interpret it as being a major misfortune. It’s very important that you not engage in catastrophizing during the coming weeks. I urge you to prevent your imagination from jumping to awful conclusions that aren’t warranted. Use deep breathing and logical thinking to coax yourself into responding calmly. Bonus tip: In my view, the small “setback” you experience could lead to an unexpected opportunity – especially if you resist the temptation to catastrophize.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Buddhist friend Marcia says the ultimate goal of her meditation practice is to know that the material world is an illusion & that there is no such thing as “I” or “you,” no past or future. There is only the quality-less ground of being. My Sufi friend Roanne, on the other hand, is a devotee of the poet Rumi. The ultimate goal of her practice is to be in intimate contact, in tender loving communion, with the Divine Friend, the personal face of the Cosmic Intelligence. Given your astrological omens, Pisces, I’d say you’re in a prime position to experience the raw truth of both Marcia’s and Roanne’s ideals. The coming days could bring you amazing spiritual breakthroughs!

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your capacity for pioneering feats and impressive accomplishments will be at a peak in 2021. So you could become the best human ever at balancing a ladder on your chin or typing with your nose or running long-distance while holding an egg on a spoon with your mouth.

But I’d prefer it if you channeled your triumphal energy into more useful innovations and victories. How about making dramatic strides in fulfilling your most important goal? Or ascending to an unprecedented new level of inspiring people with your passionate idealism? Or setting a record for most illusions shed?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ark Encounter is a fundamentalist Christian theme park in Kentucky. Its main attraction is a giant replica of Noah’s Ark. Constructed mostly from spruce and pine trees, it’s one of the world’s largest wooden structures. Even though I don’t believe that there was in fact such a boat in ancient times, I do admire how its builder, Ken Ham, has been so fiercely devoted to making his fantasies real. I encourage you to cultivate an equally zealous commitment to manifesting your own visions and dreams in 2021.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): From 1961-89, a concrete barrier divided the city of Berlin.

Communist East Berlin lay on the east side of the Berlin Wall, and capitalist West Berlin on the west. It was an iconic symbol of the Cold War between the U.S. and Soviet Union. More than 100,000 people tried to escape from east to west, but just 5,000 succeeded. The standoff ended in 1989, during the peaceful revolutions that swept through Eastern Europe. In subsequent months, the Berlin Wall was slowly demolished. Today, tiny fragments of the wall are marketed as medicines for asthma, headaches, narcolepsy and ulcers. Now I will propose that in 2021, you adopt the demolished Berlin Wall as your metaphor of power.

May it inspire you to be gleeful and forceful as you dismantle psychological obstacles and impediments.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The year 2021 will contain 525,600 minutes. But I suspect you might enjoy the subjective sensation of having far more than 525,600 minutes at your disposal.

That’s because I think you’ll be living a fuller life than usual, with greater intensity and more focus. It may sometimes seem to you as if you are drawing greater riches out of the daily rhythm – accomplishing more, seeing further, diving down deeper to capitalize on the privilege of being here on planet earth. Be grateful for this blessing – which is also a big responsibility!

Week of Dec. 24, 2020

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Our lives are filled with puzzles and enigmas and riddles. We all harbor aspects of ourselves that we don’t understand. I hope that in 2021, you will be on a mission to learn more about these parts of yourself. One of your superpowers will be a capacity to uncover secrets and solve mysteries. Bonus: I suspect you’ll be able to make exceptional progress in getting to the root of confusing quandaries that have undermined you – and then fixing the problems so they no longer undermine you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When actor Gene Wilder was 8 years old, his mother began to have heart-related health issues. The doctor that treated her suggested he could help her out if he would try to make her laugh. From then on, Wilder cultivated an ability to tell jokes and got interested in becoming an actor. Ultimately, he appeared in 22 films and was nominated for two Oscars and two Golden Globe Awards. I foresee a comparable development in your life in 2021: A challenging situation will inspire you in ways that generate a major blessing.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In my astrological opinion, love won’t be predictable in 2021. It won’t be easily definable or comparable to what you’re experienced before. But I also suspect that love will be delightfully enigmatic. It will be unexpectedly educational and fervently fertile and oddly comfortable. Your assignment, as I understand it, will be to shed your certainties about what love is and is not so that the wild, fresh challenges and opportunities of love can stream into your life in their wildest, freshest state.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Until 1893, Hawaii was a sovereign nation. In January of that year, a group of wealthy foreigners, mostly Americans, overthrew the existing government with the help of the U.S. military. They established a fake temporary “republic” that excluded native Hawaiians from positions of power. Their goal, which was to be annexed by the United States, was fulfilled in July 1898. I propose that you use this sad series of events as a motivational story in 2021. Make it your goal to resist all efforts to be colonized and occupied. Commit yourself passionately to preserving your sovereignty and independence. Be a tower of power that can’t be owned.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): In 2021, you may be smarter than you have ever been. Not necessarily wiser, too, although I have reason to hope that you will leverage your smartness to also deepen your wisdom. But as I was saying, your intelligence could very well soar beyond its previous heights. Your abil-

ity to speak articulately, stir up original thoughts and solve knotty riddles should be at a peak. Is there any potential downside to this outbreak of brilliance? Only one that I can imagine: It’s possible that your brain will be working with such dominant efficiency that it will drown out messages from your heart. And that would be a shame. In order to do what I referred to earlier – leverage your smartness to deepen your wisdom – you’ll need to be receptive to your heart’s messages CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The birds known as red knots breed every year in the Arctic regions. Then they fly south – way south – down to the southern edge of South America, more than 9,000 miles away. A few months later they make the return trip to the far north.

In 1995, ornithologists managed to put a monitoring band on one red knot’s leg, making it possible to periodically get a read on his adventures over the subsequent years. The bird’s nickname is Moonbird, because he has traveled so many miles in the course of his life that it’s equivalent to a jaunt to the moon. He’s known as “the toughest four ounces on the planet.” I nominate him to be your magical creature in 2021. I suspect you will have stamina, hardiness, persistence and determination like his.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): An Aquarian park ranger named Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning seven times in the course of his 71 years on the planet. (That’s a world record.) None of the electrostatic surges killed him, although they did leave a few burns. After studying your astrological potentials for 2021, I’ve concluded that you may be the recipient, on a regular basis, of a much more pleasurable and rewarding kind of lightning strike: the metaphorical kind. I advise you to prepare yourself to be alert for more epiphanies than usual: exciting insights, inspiring revelations, and useful ideas.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Coral reefs are in danger all over the world. These “rainforests of the sea” are being decimated by ocean acidification, toxic runoff from rivers, rising temperatures and careless tourists. Why should we care? Because they’re beautiful!

And also because they’re hotbeds of biodiversity, providing homes for 25 percent of all marine species. They also furnish protection for shorelines from erosion and storm damage, and are prime spots to harvest seafood. So I’m pleased people are finding ways to help reefs survive and recover. For example, a group in Thailand is having success using superglue to re-attach broken-off pieces to the main reefs. I hope this vignette inspires you to engage in metaphorically similar restorative and rejuvenating activities, Pisces. In 2021, you will have an enhanced power to heal.

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The first snow

T

he real winter begins with the first accumulative snow. The blanketing of the land creates a magnificent and majestic beauty, which for me, is not only wonderful but mysterious. The myriad snowflakes that fall, each their own design, never to be duplicated, are so fragile that they can vanish in an instant. These evanescent flakes designed by nature, gather into crystalline granules on the land and reflect as ephemeral diamonds in the day’s clear light. A magical landscape is offered if observed.

After the storm, a new day arrives, and a coalescence of cold and moisture creates lines of blue along the margins of streams and lakes. Everything becomes simplified and adorned with white. The deciduous trees stand naked in the almost invisible wind, while the pines, which I refer to as “the old ones,” offer the eternal green contrast to the land. There are the spruces, firs, pines and hemlocks that shelter the smaller creatures. Their needles of green remind us

of the lone promise of spring.

Man is the only creature that has imprisoned himself with the concept of time. The animals navigate the weather without the slightest anticipation

for tomorrow. A good example is my neighborhood birds. The juncos and chickadees flutter about in below-freezing temperatures without complaint. They emerge from the snow-filled boughs searching for seeds, which I am glad to provide. The majority of their fellow creatures have retreated to the roots to hibernate and await spring. The deer scratch the land for vegetation as the ravens glide across the dimming blue horizon.

So the snow field is where I go to escape the hounding of throbbing time. I walk over new pristine lands of white. The Archer may rule the winter sky above, but this winter’s evening is solely mine. I walk and wander through a blanket of calm and I am thankful. The blue crystal reflections of the night arrive from the moon’s soft ambiance over the fields, and that is all I need to guide me home before the darkness settles in.

– Burt Baldwin

Coming full circle.

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