Durango Telegraph - December 06, 2018

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Dec. 6, 2018 Vol. XVII, No. 49 durangotelegraph.com

inside

T H E

O R I G I N A L

I N D I E

W E E K L Y

L I N E

O N

D U R A N G O

&

B E Y O N D

Shovels ready?

True believer

Raising the bar

Construction on Oxbow, north ART set to start next year p8

‘Pulse’ will convert even biggest paranormal skeptics p11

Silverton explores expansion of Kendall Mountain ski area p14

2 n Dec. 6, 2018

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lineup

8

4 La Vida Local

Breaking trail City to begin work on Animas River Trail and Oxbow, weather willing

4 Thumbin’ It

Clash of the Titans

by Tracy Chamberlin

5 Word on the Street

12-13

6-7 Soapbox

Tree graffiti

10 Mountain Town News

A look at the questionable yet irresistible urge to leave one’s mark

11 Murder Ink

photos by Stephen Eginoire

12-13 Day in the Life

14

16 Flash in the Pan

Big plans Silverton explores expanding Kendall Mountain terrain, offerings

17 Top Shelf

by Missy Votel

18-20 On the Town

16

20 Ask Rachel

Doubling down

21 Free Will Astrology

Thinking outside the Krusteaz box to combine two breakfast classics

by Ari Levaux

22 Classifieds

17

23 Haiku Movie Review On the cover: A tree covered in frost sums up the feeling across southwest Colorado as winter makes a triumphant return./ Photo by Stephen Eginoire

Holidazed

‘Nutcracker,’ Noel Night, Moral Panic and Mucho Macho

by Chris Aaland

boilerplate

EDITORIALISTA: Missy Votel (missy@durangotelegraph.com) ADVERTISING AFICIONADO: Lainie Maxson (lainie@durangotelegraph.com) RESIDENT FORMULA ONE FAN: Tracy Chamberlin (tracy@durangotelegraph.com)

T

he Durango Telegraph publishes every Thursday, come hell, high water, beckoning singletrack or monster powder days. We are wholly owned and operated independently by the Durango Telegraph

Ear to the ground: “Chug, mom!”

– A startling sign for a local parent that perhaps it’s time to lay off the holiday merriment

STAR-STUDDED CAST: Lainie Maxson, Chris Aaland, Clint Reid, Stephen Eginoire, Tracy Chamberlin, Jesse Anderson, Zach Hively, Luke Mehall, Jeff Mannix and Shan Wells

MAILING ADDRESS: P.O. Box 332 Durango, CO 81302

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LLC and distributed in the finest and most discerning locations throughout the greater Durango area.

We’re only human. If, by chance, we defame someone’s good name or that of their family, neighbor, best

friend or dog, we will accept full responsibility in a public flogging in the following week’s issue.

Although “free but not easy,” we can be plied with schwag, booze and flattery.

PHONE: 970.259.0133

telegraph

thepole

RegularOccurrences

Chances are we’ve all seen Dwayne Johnson on the big (or little) screen, whether battling giant mutant sea creatures or emerging unscathed from a burning helicopter crash. But one local man had the pleasure to ogle The Rock’s historic biceps up close and personal.

Local bodybuilder Matt Wellbourn, 27, was a recent contestant on Johnson’s upcoming battle royale series, “The Titan Games.”

Although the show doesn’t officially air until Jan. 3, filming began in September in California. Set in a massive arena spanning some 6 acres, the series is billed as the next generation of the “American Gladiators/ Ninja” genre. The format is familiar: "Titans" are pitted against each other in a series of endurance-based mental and physical challenges of "epic proportions.”

The 10-episode series was inspired

by Johnson’s desire to “motivate people to reach their full potential.”

Each episode features “every day” contenders pushing themselves to the limit in unforgiving head-tohead challenges.

The winner of each battle will move Durango Titan, Matthew on to “Mount Olympus” to take Wellbourn. on other contenders in the “biggest and most fierce challenge ever made.”

Wellbourn, who slings plates at Mutu’s when not lifting them at the gym, seems wellequipped for the task. At 5’10” and 220 pounds, this Flagstaff native has a background in track and cross country running, setting the record for the 4x800 at his high school. He also ran cross country at Fort Lewis College, where he graduated in 2010. Since graduating, Wellbourn has upped his bodybuilding game, winning his weight class at the Jay Cutler Desert Classic bodybuilding competition and best overall at the Clash of the Titans bodybuilding competition.

He also comes by his athletic chops honestly: his father was both an Olympic pole vaulter and flat-water kayaker.

“Matthew is very powerful and will be able to generate a lot of force,” reads his “Titan Games” bio. “He was very agile in the obstacle course for his size. Good upper body strength.

Matt is more than just a great physique … he’s an accomplished athlete and is here to prove just how good of an athlete he is.”

To find out just how good, tune into NBC at 8 p.m., Thurs., Jan. 3. And even if we knew the results (which we don’t), we’re not sayin.’

No one wants to suffer the wrath of The Rock.

Dec. 6, 2018 n

3

opinion

LaVidaLocal Climbing over the hill When I was a kid, the only thing I’d really heard about turning 40 was that it was called “over the hill.” I also know that it sounded old, but when you’re a kid, every age older than the age you are sounds old.

Well, I turned 40 this past weekend. And all I can say for sure is that it doesn’t sound old anymore, but it does seem like a benchmark. And, because I’m a climber, I guess I’ve climbed over that proverbial hill.

“You made it,” was something several people said to me last weekend, and that feels more appropriate than “over the hill.”

“You made it” makes more sense because the older one gets, the more he or she realizes the fragility of human existence. Not everyone makes it, and from what I can tell, there’s no rhyme or reason. I’ve had a couple near-death experiences while climbing, and I probably shouldn’t be alive today because of them. But here I am, living, writing, breathing, and looking outside, I’ve never been so happy to see a blanket of snow.

I am not a religious man, although I come from a religious family. I’m waiting until death to find out what happens. After my two near-death experiences, I realized all I wanted out of life was to live another day. I decided I would pay close attention to the risks I took and weigh whether they were worth it.

I can’t say that’s why I am alive today, but I do know that paying attention to each and every decision is important. Who you choose to surround yourself with seems important too. There are plenty of people out there who want to bring you down to their low level of living; stay away from them.

It’s a crazy time to be alive, but isn’t it always? My thirties went by faster than any other decade of my life. I also made sure my thirties were marked by goals – I probably could have done the same with my twenties, but hey, I’m a climber, and climbers should spend their twenties in the great outdoors.

I showed up to Durango in my early thirties with a dollar and a dream, and you know what? This town embraced me. I washed its dishes, mucked horseshit, sat houses, walked dogs, rolled burritos, and now, finally, I get to write stories.

I know all the dark sides of humanity are here. I can’t even begin to compile the sad stories I know of, and have heard. I have to be honest and say that I have less faith in humanity now than I did when I moved here. Part of the reason I got out of the restaurant business is the general public – it’s almost guaranteed that someone is going to be a jerk for no reason on a regular basis. Ironically, the worst encounter I had here while working in restaurants was with a local minister. That’s humanity for you.

While a lot of humans suck, and some have reasons to, there’s still millions of good ones to choose from, and you better start finding those people today if you haven’t already. If you have suspicions that someone close to you doesn’t have your best intentions in mind, you better ditch them faster than a wildfire spreads from tree to tree. We all need a family, a team, a community, a significant other. We all need a whole bunch of good people with good intentions. If you’re not busy being born, you’re busy dying.

That was Dylan, of course.

That said, I don’t think I could live anywhere other than Durango. There could be a better place, but I haven’t found it, and I don’t have wanderlust.

Sure, I’d like to see some more places on this dust ball, but home is where the heart is, and my heart is here.

In the last couple years, I’ve found myself dabbling in political writing. I had some things I needed to get off my chest, and I’ve received some good feedback on some of that writing. But, I’m starting to get sick of it, because I’d like my writing to reach more than just the people I share political beliefs with.

I will continue to take more action on issues that I believe in, and I will put pen to paper when my heart is called, but I’m tired of writing political rants. There’s enough of that out there in this world anyway.

What I’m not tired of is the act of writing itself. I want to reach more and more people with my stories, and I’m proud to announce that my fifth book, The Desert, is now complete, and I’ll be embarking on a book tour for it next year, starting of course with a presentation at Maria’s early next year.

And, this Friday I’ll be at Pine Needle during Noel Night slinging books and zines, and catching a buzz like everyone else.

Thanks for helping me reach 40 years old, Durango, I’m looking forward to writing many, many more stories for you.

This Week’s Sign of the Downfall:

Thumbin’It Multiple scientific studies that have shown the Gold King Mine spill did not have any lasting environmental impacts on the Animas River and other waterways

The heart-breaking loss last weekend of generous community donator, cycling advocate, maker of delicious things and all-around gregarious character, Rob Kabeary, of Bread bakery

The City of Durango gaining LEED status, making it one of 75 cities nationwide to be recognized for leadership in energy efficiency, environmentally friendly building and sustainability practices

The White House’s ongoing support of the Saudi regime, basically condoning the murder of journalists or anyone who dares to call out authority

Frigid overnight temperatures making for ideal snowmaking conditions at Chapman Hill, which is eyeing a Dec. 16 opening

4 n Dec. 6, 2018

– Luke Mehall

The appalling and sad truth that almost no man in power is immune from sexual assault and harassment, with astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson the latest to face allegations

telegraph

Walmart + Gun + Groin = Downfall Police in Buckeye, Ariz., responded to a “shots fired” call at a local Walmart expecting the worst. But when they arrived, they found a man who’d shot himself in the groin while waiting on line in the meat section. The gun he had hidden in his waistband for “protection” wasn’t in a holster and it started to slip, so the man grabbed it and shot himself in the worst place imaginable. Adding insult to injury, he’s being charged with unlawful discharge of a weapon.

WordontheStreet With Noel Night this Friday, the Telegraph asked: “How are you getting into the holiday spirit?”

Q

“Snowboarding as much as I can.”

Andrew Korobkin

Damian Linscott

“Going to Santa Fe for the Farolito Walk.”

“Decorating my house before my son comes home from Austin.”

“I’m going to cook a chuck roast and eat it alone.”

Mark Chambers

“Being extra charitable and giving the homeless my pocket change.”

Mike Bray

Roger Crop

telegraph

Dec. 6, 2018 n 5

SoapBox

ReTooned/by Shan Wells

Put aside politics for climate To the editor, It was recently reported that the U.S. Department of Agriculture will grant $20.2 million to wildfire recovery projects in La Plata and other Colorado counties. We are grateful for this and other actions to address worsening wildfires.

The main cause of increased wildfires has been rising temperatures leading to earlier snowmelt, which in turn leads to drier conditions. Projections indicate that for every 1.8°F further rise in temperature there could be quadruple the area burned each year in the western U.S. Fortunately, there is a ray of hope from the U.S. Congress with the introduction of the “Energy Innovation and Carbon Dividend Act,” (H.R. 7173) which would place a steadily rising fee on carbon pollution and return all revenue to households equally. The bill, (a) is a market-based approach with bipartisan support, (b) will drive down carbon pollution while putting money in people’s pockets, (c) is good for business and will create jobs.

Besides the 70 percent of U.S. citizens (72 percent in Colorado) who believe global warming is happening (Yale University), only 21 percent currently approve of how Congress is doing its job (Gallup). I urge Congressman Tipton to join the bipartisan sponsorship of this bill and respond to the desires of his constituents for more cooperation in Congress and positive action on the climate crisis. It’s time to set aside partisan differences and, for the good of our nation and the world, start addressing the threat of climate change by enacting the Energy Innovation and Carbon Dividend Act in the next Congress.

– Andrew Zeiler, Durango

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OpEd

Wolf Symposium left ranchers out in the cold (Editor’s note: The following is a response from the La Plata County Farm Bureau and La Plata County Cattlemen’s Association on the Durango Wolf Symposium Nov. 29 at Fort Lewis College. The piece was sent by Naomi Dobbs, board member of the Farm Bureau and coordinator for LaPlata Liberty Coalition.

The response, which came in at more than 3,500 words, has been edited for length.)

Two weeks after Colorado Parks and Wildlife announced concern over declining elk and deer populations, the Colorado Sierra Club and San Juan Citizens Alliance took a step closer to re-introduction of the Canadian gray wolf in Colorado by sponsoring the Durango Wolf Symposium at Fort Lewis College on Nov. 29. The stated objective was a “serious dialogue” about re-introducing wolves. Organizers and promoters claimed the event would be a balanced conversation based on facts and evidence, but when asked about lack of opposing views, they claimed wolf opponents were unable to attend due to conflicts. The Wolf Symposium had only one person formally speaking in opposition.

The event was promoted as the “largest group of wolf experts ever to gather in Southwestern Colorado,” which is factually incorrect as it follows Big Game Forever’s Wolf Symposium held three months earlier in Grand Junction.

However, the Durango Wolf Symposium was the largest group of pro-wolf advocates ever to gather in Southwest Colorado – a bias the symposium repeatedly understated.

Brandon Hatter, local rancher and Cattlemen’s Association Board member, attended the symposium to get facts about how wolf re-introduction might be managed but left empty-handed as the conversation was one-sided and vague on details. For example, San Juan Citizen’s Alliance speaker Mark Pearson’s entire presentation was on the gradual and natural recovery of wolves in Colorado, which didn’t fit with the symposium’s billing, which is humanengineered and physically controlled. Hatter also took issue with predictions for Colorado based on other states, which don’t align to conditions in Colorado. For example, public lands in Colorado have hunting, hiking and camping, whereas shared range lands like Yellowstone National Park are only visited as a controlled, drive-through attraction.

This wasn’t a conversation or a dialogue, or even a symposium, Hatter concluded, it was a lecture and sales pitch.

Most symposium speakers were individuals who gain financially from their pro-wolf narrative: authors/editors who had their materials for sale, wolf management “trainers,” professors, environmental activists and several executives of organizations that advocate for wolves – with many panel members wearing multiple, paid pro-wolf hats.

Attempted balance was provided by two Native American speakers, both of whom acknowledged they were not wolf experts. The panel also had two ranchers, neither of whom had any experience with wolves in the lower 48.

Local rancher Tom Compton was the only speaker opposed to wolf re-introduction, but he had no experience with the potential economic impact and bureaucratic challenges of ranching with wolves, a perspective wholly missing from the panel. Canadian pro-wolf rancher Joe Engelhart and pro-wolf author Carter Neimeyer were introduced as providing balanced viewpoints, yet Engelhart doesn’t ranch in the U.S., and both Engelhart and Neimeyer have been routine speakers at pro-wolf events. Also, it’s worth noting that Englehart is involved in a ranching business with several thousand cattle, which is not comparable to small-scale ranching operations typical in Colorado Speakers did make reference to the last wolves killed in Colorado, but the point emphasized was the cruelty of their extinction without mentioning that wolves that historically populated Colorado were significantly smaller than the Canadian gray wolf. The pro-wolf speakers brushed aside the notion that the Canadian wolf was not native to Colorado. However, the panelists were quick to use the non-na-

tive status of other prey, such as the bighorn sheep and moose, to disregard the wolves’ impact.

Adding to the pro-wolf bias was the speakers’ eerie silence on the subject of wolves as a host of hydatid disease.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, hydatid is a parasitic tapeworm that passes from wolves to other animals and humans primarily through feces. The parasites form cysts in vital organs and are difficult to detect early on. A gap of data and training makes it hard to diagnose.

Untreated, the mortality rate in humans is more than 90 percent. If the disease is properly detected, the primary protocol is removal of impacted organs and chemotherapy, according to the World Health Organization.

People who live and recreate in or near wolf habitat will be exposed to hydatid. In addition to normal defecation, wolves habitually mark territory and show dominance by

leaving scat. Once deposited, the resistant tapeworm can lay dormant in dirt and vegetation. If pets or humans unknowingly track over infected ground, the microscopic hydatid can be transported into your home. The disease can lead to bacterial superinfections and fatal anaphylaxis.

Avoidance of the topic detracted from the symposium’s credibility. Adding to this were repeated and misleading comparisons between Colorado and wolf re-introduction states of Wyoming, Idaho and Montana. First, the low 2 percent livestock wolf predation in these states asserted by author and panel speaker Mike Phillips has been discredited

by The Real Wolf, by Ted B. Lyon and Will N. Graves. Secondly, these three states represent 327,438 square miles and 3.3 million people as compared to Colorado’s 104,100 square miles and 5.5 million people. Colorado has almost twice the population and less than one-third the space of these other states combined.

Both Philips and speaker Diana Tomback disregarded this and instead emphasized what they claimed was a high percentage of public lands available for wolf habitat in Colorado. They presented slides showing the bulk of the Western Slope as prime wolf habitat covering mostly public lands. They proceeded to demonstrate favorable wolf outcomes based on “sophisticated ecological modeling,” a methodology neither would identify. An audience member also pointed out that the broad swath of Western Slope actually contained a high percentage of elevations that don’t fit wolf habitat. Furthermore, when it snows, elk and deer come down into the valleys and private lands for better food supply, and wolves will follow.

During the panel, Phillips tried to claim wolves would not come into towns because, “Wolves aren’t migratory.”

He proceeded with a confusing monologue on how wolves

telegraph

stay in a territory, which evaded the obvious nature of wolves to follow prey, not to mention the necessary expansion of a wolf’s territory when it creates a new pack.

Compton added, “seeing a wolf near our playgrounds and bike paths is not something I’m looking forward to.”

Panelists’ information also failed to factor the fluctuating human population of Colorado. Colorado has a diverse tourism-based economy that adds significant numbers of out-of-state visitors, bikers, hunters, fishermen and a variety of weekend warriors to spend time outdoors. These extra people also congregate in the same territory where advocates want to introduce this apex predator.

The pro-wolf panelists claimed re-introduction would create an economic benefit to tourism, despite at other times referencing how human presence would negatively impact wolves. Phillips claimed wolves could create a $30B benefit. However, the justification of eco-tourism for people who want to watch wolves conflicted with the fact that, as speakers admitted, wolves are elusive and rarely seen.

Farmers and ranchers are concerned about losses of livestock, which historically have not been fairly compensated.

There’s also concern about increased operational costs, decreased livestock weights and birthing impacts. None of these topics were given adequate consideration. Most farm and ranch operations in La Plata County are small, with low capacity to absorb the costs that accompany wolves.

Speaker Carter Neimeyer said wolf losses will not break a family’s back. This claim is false based on reports in just one region of New Mexico alone. Wolves do have a negative impact on farming, and their impacts can extend beyond.

Just one fatality from a wolf attack or hydatid could have catastrophic consequences. However, there was ironically one pro-wolf reason to keep Canadian wolves out of Colorado which was also not fairly covered in the symposium: boundary preservation for the Mexican wolf.

Currently, Colorado serves as a buffer between the Canadian wolf to the north and New Mexico, home to the Mexican wolf, an endangered species. Wolves have territorial ranges from 100-300 miles, and it’s natural for young males to travel to establish their own packs. However, panelists failed to acknowledge that Colorado is an important safetyzone to protect the smaller Mexican wolf. To the surprise of many, Phillips labeled the Mexican wolf as a non-issue, claiming the breed was already hybridized.

Symposium supporter Rocky Mountain Wolf Project depicts Colorado as “The Missing Link” for wolf recovery but fails to mention the negative impact on the Mexican wolf.

Phillips blunted the conversation by praising the benefit of wolves in the generic sense from Montana to Mexico.

References to wolves providing ecologic benefit to the “trophic cascade” was a theme promoted by FLC professor Andrew Gulliford. Trophic cascade was explained as recovery of riparian areas and rebounding plant-life achieved by introducing wolves to an area where elk overpopulation had damaged the ecosystem. However, Compton explained trophic cascade, based on observations from Yellowstone, was a human-engineered consequence. With elk protected in the park, they expanded to a point where the range was stressed prior to introduction of the wolf. As Compton explained, wolves didn’t heal Yellowstone, a man-made policy caused the imbalance and a policy change helped correct it.

According to farmers and ranchers in attendance, less favorable topics of hydatid, fair compensation and impacts to the Mexican wolf were not given adequate attention. Opposition questions from the audience were not allowed.

If Wolf Symposium organizers intend to continue the conversation, they need to provide facts and balanced perspectives. When it comes to wolves, farmers and ranchers definitely want to be part of the conversation because, according to La Plata County Farm Bureau President Charly Minkler, “When it comes to wolves, if we’re not at the table, we’re on the menu.” n Dec. 6, 2018 n 7

TopStory

Shovels ready?

Construction on Oxbow Park, north ART to take place next year

by Tracy Chamberlin

T

he wait is over – well, sort of. Almost two years ago, the City of Durango completed plans to extend the northern section of the Animas River Trail and build a boat ramp, trails, parking and other facilities at Oxbow Park and Preserve. Next month, the city is hoping to actually start construction.

That’s if the weather allows. Parks and Recreation Director Cathy Metz said it wouldn’t be the first time construction has taken place along the Animas River Trail in the winter, but it’s up to the contractor to decide whether or not shovels will hit the ground in January. If they can, she JusttheFacts added, they will.

What: Community meeting on “We do intend construction of Animas River Trail to initiate construcnorthern extension and develoption in January,” ment of Oxbow Park and Preserve Metz said.

When: 5:30 p.m., Thurs., Dec. 13 The city first acWhere: Durango Rec Center quired the 46-acre For info.: 375-7321 or Oxbow property in rec@durangogov.org the summer of 2012. Shortly thereafter, talk turned to the possibility of public access and adding a boat ramp or river put-in. Residents were often split on the idea, and debates continued over the next several years as city officials put together plans for extending the northern section of the Animas River Trail and developing Oxbow.

In all, the city hosted about 25 public events on the issue and even more meetings with individuals living in the area. Final construction plans were released to residents in early 2017.

With so much time passing since the final plans were released, city officials decided to host a public meeting at 5:30 p.m. Thurs., Dec. 13, at the Durango Rec Center. It will be a chance to remind the public of the overall design, reasoning behind many of the decisions and answer any questions.

The final plans are to extend the Animas River Trail from Animas City Park at East 32nd Avenue all the way to Oxbow Park and Preserve, just about a mile away. The trail will follow the tracks of the Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad, crossing over its path in two spots – one at East 36th Street and another at the edge of Oxbow Park.

Along the way, the new trail will be built to accommodate residents’ requests to either have some privacy 4

8 n Dec. 6, 2018

The City first acquired the 46-acre Oxbow property in the summer of 2012. Shortly thereafter, talk turned to the possibility of public access and adding a boat ramp or river put-in. Residents were often split on the idea, and debates continued over the next several years as city officials put together plans for extending the northern section of the Animas River Trail and developing Oxbow Park and Preserve./Photo by Stephen Eginoire

telegraph

OxbowPark from p. 8 from the trail or direct access. Metz said city officials took the time to work with residents who live along the proposed path’s construction because not everyone wanted the same thing. In the end, they worked to navigate specific requests while keeping the trail’s appearance – in both materials and style – as consistent as possible.

Construction will begin at both ends of the proposed trail extension and meet in the middle. It will likely take all of 2019 to complete the project.

If things go smoothly and the City is able to open Oxbow Park for use next summer, it will happen. But, according to Metz, construction will probably be ongoing throughout the year, and the park won’t be ready to open to the public until 2020.

When it does open for public use, Oxbow will have changing rooms, bathrooms, picnic tables, natural surface trails, a boat ramp, beach access and a much-needed parking lot.

“It was really important for us to provide parking,” Metz said.

One of the key issues with Oxbow in the past has been the lack of parking. Anyone looking to access the area had to either walk along Animas View Drive or park illegally.

The new lot, however, will include about 25 spaces.

Another top issue raised by residents during the outreach events was the need for another access point along the Animas River. The design includes a boat ramp for smaller craft, a turnaround area for vehicles, a tie-off area at the river’s edge and other site-specific features.

Funding for the project comes from a $1.4 million grant from Great Outdoors Colorado – which the city must use by the end of 2020 – and revenues raised from the City’s half-cent sales tax dedicated to Parks and Recreation projects. n

It’s electric: City to allow ebikes on trails After a year-long trial period – with zero complaints from residents – city officials have decided to allow electric bicycles on the Animas River Trail for good.

“I think part of it (the lack of complaints) was related to safety improvements we made prior to the trial period,” Cathy Metz, parks and recreation director, explained.

Metz said the City added signage and striping along high traffic areas of the Animas River Trail, and amped up education efforts before the trial period ever began.

The top concern for residents opposed to allowing electric bikes on city trails was accidents between bikers and pedestrians that were already occurring on the Animas River Trail. Many believed allowing ebikes would only make those incidents more common.

In an effort to address those concerns, the improvements were made ahead of the trial Electric bikes with pedal assist and throttle assist motors are period. “I think that really helped,” Metz added. now allowed on some hard surface city trails./File photo The Durango City Council is currently going through the process of updating the City Code west of Denver, headed up by Jefferson County Open Space. to allow for Class I (pedal assist) and Class II (throttle-asThat program has opened up all of the area’s natural surface sisted) electric bicycles on the Animas River Trail, Florida trails to Class I pedal assist bicycles and concludes in April of Road Trail, Goeglein Gulch Trail, SMART 160 Trail and the next year.

Three Springs Trail. Those changes go into effect around “Sometimes we like to lead and sometimes we want to the start of the New Year. see what others are doing,” she explained.

The trails chosen by city officials to be included in the A map of the specific hard-surface trails where ebikes ebike offerings are all hard surface trails. Whether or not allowed in Durango can be found at ebikes will eventually be allowed on natural surface trails is www.durangogov.org. a decision for another day.

– Tracy Chamberlin Metz said the City is keeping an eye on a pilot program

O'Hara's Jams & Jellies • Lots of Local Goodies • New Gift Boxes • Beautiful Baskets • Jams, Jellies & Mustards -$5!

telegraph

Dec. 6 2018 n

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MountainTownNews No town too isolated to avoid pandemic JACKSON, Wyo. – You think times are bad now? Imagine life a century ago. Death was all around. In early November, the Great War had ended in Europe, leaving 10 million soldiers and 7 million civilians dead.

Then came the pandemic of flu. The first wave hit in March, and it was relatively mild. The second, far more deadly wave arrived in October. No mountain town was too isolated or too cold to avoid the quick deaths.

Unlike most strains of flu, though, this one hit the younger and healthiest of people hardest, turning their own immune systems against them. Globally, 20 to 50 million people died. It was the worst pandemic since the Black Death of the 1340s.

Mark Huffman of the Jackson Hole News&Guide tells the story of his Wyoming community through the lens of an individual named Alfred G. Sensenbach. He had grown up on a tourist ranch at the foot of the Teton Range, learning to wrangle both horses and the dudes. When reporting for induction a century ago November, he learned the war was over. Continuing on to Rock Springs, 180 miles south of Jackson Hole, he took sick and quickly died.

“He was a splendid young man of admirable character and habitat, and his death, coming when he was just on the threshold of manhood, brings general sorrow,” the Jackson’s Hole Courier said of the victim, who had just turned 21, at the time.

(Jackson Hole is the more modern derivation of the original Jackson’s Hole, as the valley had been named for David “Davey” Jackson, a fur trapper.)

Two people died in Jackson, one a 3-year-old and the other a man of 65, who had been in ill health. Six local men died at military posts, four of them in other states and two in France.

Silverton may have been hit hardest by the flu of any place in the continental United States. Jonathan Thompson, who once edited a weekly newspaper there, tells the story in his book, The River of Lost Souls: The Science, Politics and Greed Behind the Gold King Mine Disaster.

The town, located deep in the San Juan Mountains, had sent 150 young men, or around eight percent of the total population, to Europe. Nearly half were immigrants or the children thereof, some fighting against brothers or cousins, he says.

Then came the pandemic. Only one or two people died that spring in San Juan County. Then, in mid-October, many people gathered to celebrate what turned out to be premature reports of the war’s end. A day or two later, the symptoms surfaced: the ache of the back, the scratch in the throat, feverish hot flashes. “Within days, many of the people who had celebrated that night would be dead.”

When the dying ended, the last of the bodies were stacked outside the town hall, awaiting temperatures warm enough to dig graves. At least 150 people had died – about 10 percent of the town’s population at that point. In one report, most of the deaths occurred in one week.

Within the United States, only a community in Alaska that lost 85 percent of its resident suffered worse proportionately.

Communities tried to insulate themselves. Many places – including the Utah mining town of Park City –ordered people to wear masks when out and about. In Aspen, the president of the local board of health ordered all dogs and cats confined to their homes, reported local historian Tim Willoughby in a 2009 article in The Aspen Times. People took to shooting them, fearful they were transmitting the microbes.

Gunnison was insistent on quarantines. Schools were closed, churches forbidden to hold services, street gatherings banned. Barriers and fences were erected on all highways entering the county.

People could leave, but if they returned, they were quarantined. Interlopers were jailed. These severe precautions, says the Gunnison Country Times, were credited with the deaths of only two people.

In La Plata County, there were 200 deaths in a population of 11,000. The population is five-fold larger now, so if the same proportions held, there would be 1,000 deaths.

Are rising temps to blame for fires?

TRUCKEE, Calif. – In California, debate continues about the cause of the Camp Fire that had been blamed in the deaths of 88 people as of last weekend. A group called Northern California Fire Lawyers blames negligence by Pacific Gas and Electric of causing the fire. Cal Fire has not issued a finding, however.

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Many have called the Camp Fire at Paradise a classic case of people living in places they should not, amid flammable forests. But there’s also this fact: Half of the 10 most destructive wildfires in California’s history have occurred in the last two years.

Does global warming have something to do with this? Don Rogers, editor of the Sierra Sun in Truckee, Calif. (and former editor of the Vail Daily and, for good measure, former wildland firefighter) admits to global warming and its accompanying climate changes.

But still, he is put off by California Gov. Jerry Brown and others “hollering about ‘new-normal’ fires seasons.” Making global warming “the culprit for each drought, hurricane, flood and wildfire,” he says, “only feeds the deniers and skeptics.”

Rogers wants greater acknowledgement of the natural flammability of landscapes. “Absent global warming, we’d still have Paradise teed up in this landscape built to burn, naturally needing to burn.”

A 2016 paper published by two researchers found that humancaused climate changes had more than doubled the area affected by forest fires in the U.S. West over the previous 30 years.

“No matter how hard we try, the fires are going to keep getting bigger, and the reason is really clear,” study co-author A. Park Williams, a bioclimatologist at Columbia University’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory, told Science Direct in 2016. “Climate is really running the show in terms of what burns. We should be getting ready for bigger fire years.”

Williams and his co-researcher, John Abatzoglou, of the University of Idaho, attributed the increase to other facts, including a long-term natural climate oscillation over the Pacific Ocean that has steered storms away from the western United States. There is also fire suppression, which had the effect of building up more dry fuel that will burn more explosively.

Along with others, Williams says that eventually so many western forests will burn, they will become too fragmented for fires to spread easily, and the growth in fires will decrease. But, he told Science Direct, “There’s no hint we’re even getting close to that yet. I’d expect increases to proceed exponentially for at least the next few decades.”

Whistler POW chapter is up & running

WHISTLER, B.C. – Protect Our Winters now has an organization in Canada, an offshoot of the successful climate activist group launched by pro snowboarder Jeremy Jones of Squaw Valley in 2007.

Organizer Mike Douglas says he’s been thinking about it since the 1990s, when he worked at Blackcomb Glaciers.

“Just watching the glacier recede summer after summer, and realizing that, ‘Wow, this isn’t just some far-off problem – this is something that we get to actually see day to day, and year to year,’” he told Whistler’s Pique Newsmagazine. “I think back then I always believed that the government is going to kind of take care of it, and I think in the more recent years I’ve kind of realized that, no, they’re not going to take care of it.”

While POW has made inroads as a climate advocacy group in Washington, D.C., the Canada chapter has a goal of getting people to “raise their voices and sort of demand action on climate.”

Redefining ‘historic’ in old mining town

CRESTED BUTTE – Crested Butte came of age in the 1880s as a mining town, first silver and gold, then, more steadily, coal, until the last coal mine closed in 1952.

With those structures in mind, Crested Butte adopted a code restricting modifications of older buildings in designated historic districts. The code includes buildings that are at least 50 years of age.

Town officials have been getting requests to declassify these relatively newer buildings. Town planner Michael Yerman says many of them were poorly built and are not energy efficient. Plus, they do not really fit within what is generally considered historic. A proposed ordinance would amend this, allowing a process for demolition.

Affordable housing scofflaws told to sell

ASPEN – Two individuals in deed-restricted homes have been ordered to sell their homes by the Aspen-Pitkin County Housing Authority. The board found both had violated rules of the affordable housing program by failing to live full-time and not working in Pitkin County at least 1,500 hours a year.

– Allen Best

MurderInk

True believer

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‘Pulse’ will make a paranormal convert of even the biggest skeptic

n r ) by Jeffrey Mannix . s he publicity release that came with my advance reader copy opened with “(Harvey) dares to take the tra- ditional crime novel into the - realm of the supernatural.” o That’s all I needed to hear before putting the book onto a - pile someday going to a rest d home. I don’t do supernatural, and I apologize for feelg ing that way to those who k adore the ilk. But, I am cer- tain that with proper guid- ance and a slug or puff of g suspension-of-disbelief, I would adore the immer- sion in time and space, as I a did once upon a time for t sci fi. s In this case, though, the author is a y writer among writers whose last book, Brighton, took away my breath as well as the wind of the publishing - industry. So I paused to read the whole press release beo fore putting it tentatively on the outgoing pile. And for - a couple weeks, I was reminded, from no obvious d prompts, that Harvey wouldn’t, or even couldn’t, cobw ble together a magical world of flying pigs to make a

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few bucks. So I took the book off the donation pile and put it into the “Definite Maybe” pile, on top of a 2017 title with streaks of dog slobber across the dustcover. Last week, with nothing but 2019 releases jockeying for my attention, I opened up Harvey’s Pulse with an hour to give it. That night I finished Pulse, and stock in Michael Harvey went up.

So, I’ll back away from my prejudgment of reality being exclusive to things I can perceive or see, touch, feel, smell or taste. What’s arguably not real are hallucinations, apparitions, time travel and a plethora of states of transcendence I’m sure to make enemies to mention.

But we cannot deny the reality of mental deviation and the reality of its consequences (think Picasso), and in Pulse, supernatural is not at all unnatural but more unprecedented or extraordinary. We are seeing events that would be labeled paranormal or otherworldly in the hands of a lesser writer. But instead, this keenly imaginative novelist draws us into a different but clearly imaginable state of extreme passion and premonition.

Pulse is the story of 16-year-old Daniel Fitzsimmons, an athlete and student at the prestigious Boston Latin

School, and his brother Harry, a second-year football standout at Harvard. Both grew up alone together as children under the radar in the Dorchester projects after their parents were killed in a fiery auto crash. Harry has raised his brother; Daniel has made a man out of Harry. Although Daniel is required to maintain residence in Boston, he has been living with Harry in Cambridge. Not wanting to jeopardize his athletic scholarship eligibility to follow in the path of his idolized brother, Daniel rents a room in Boston city limits. His landlord is the unconventional Simon Lane, who purports to be a theoretical physics professor at Harvard. “Daniel closed his eyes and thought about his new roomie, the slightly crazy, slightly scary professor from Harvard. Maybe they were all wack jobs in Cambridge. Or maybe it was just physics. No wonder Daniel liked the stuff. He smiled to himself and breathed through his nose, exhaling as a door in his mind swung open.”

There’s no sense telling more of the story here, because it’s the exceptional telling that makes this book so stunning. One little spoiler alert: Harry reluctantly accompanies some of his Harvard teammates out for a night of clubbing in seedy South Boston and is murdered as Daniel is careening over the streets and alleys to his rescue, knowing what’s about to happen.

Pulse will set you back the cost of a forgettable dinner.

You will, however, forever remember this book. It is a masterpiece for even the most devout skeptics, like me.

Buy your copy at Maria’s and mention “Murder Ink” for a 15 percent discount. n

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Dec. 6, 2018 n 11

dayinthelife 12

n Dec. 6, 2018

Leaving a mark

by Stephen Eginoire

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he bark of an aspen tree has long been the medium of choice modern-day pictograph artists. But what does it say about th who feel the need to immortalize themselves, their relationsh or a phrase in the bark of a tree? Perhaps it’s simply human condit to want to leave our mark in some way, shape or form. If you nee alleviate some winter boredom, head on up to La Plata Canyon for so primo aspen-art viewing. The first mile of road offers a prolific time of tree carvings dating back to the early days. But please: leave the p trees alone.

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Dec. 6, 2018 n 13

thesecondsection Kendall Mountain Ski Area in Silverton has long offered a low-key and idyllic setting for families and fledgling skiers. With the blessing of local residents, the town is pursuing a new master plan for the ski hill that would include expansion of skiing as well as the possibility of other options such as Nordic trails, biking and hiking trails, and a covered ice rink./Photo courtesy Town of Silverton

Raising the bar Silverton explores idea of Kendall Mountain expansion

by Missy Votel

F

or decades, area grom-lettes have been cutting their shred teeth on the family-friendly environs of Silverton’s Kendall Mountain ski area. With skiin, ski-out parking, a cozy, no-pressure lodge, mellow runs (technically four) and a leisurely two-seater, complete with classic rock emanating from the lift shack, it’s the perfect low-key training ground before graduating to the big-time resorts down – or up – the road.

But what if graduating didn’t necessarily mean leaving Kendall? What if it meant hopping a lift to treeline and ski some gladed runs or taking a long, meandering cruiser to the bottom? And what if there was a reliable ice rink, not at the mercy of Mother Nature’s whims, or a developed Nordic system for skate skiing and fat biking? Night skiing, music festivals, whitewater park and a full-scale cafeteria and bar?

Yes, please.

At least that’s what a majority of Silverton residents said when they began envisioning options for their intown ski hill more than a year ago.

“There’s always been a widespread belief that Kendall is underutilized,” Lisa Branner, the Town of Silverton’s community relations director said.

Branner was hired by the town in 2017 to gather residents’ desires and see if an expansion was even feasible. Armed with a $25,000 grant from the Community

14 n Dec. 6, 2018

Affairs Department and matching funds from the town, Silverton hired SE Group consultants to explore possible expansion of the little ski hill that could.

And turns out, it can.

“When I opened the map, it kind of blew me away,” said Branner of SE Group’s viability study, which was finished in October. “The study asked, ‘Do we have what it takes?’ We did a terrain analysis on whether we have viable terrain that could be developed next to the ski area, and it turns out, we do.”

Among other things, the study explored the feasibility of adding three chairs and expanding terrain in pods on the upper reaches of the mountain. Two scenarios were presented: a 300-acre expansion, which would take place mostly on BLM land, and an 800-acre expansion, which would include a mix of public and private lands.

Other ideas explored in the plan include snowmaking, a magic carpet and relocating the ice rink and covering it.

“Right now, there’s water that flows under the rink and it’s sun exposed,” Branner said.

In a series of visioning sessions held throughout 2017-18, the town received responses from 100 adults and 41 youth, including visitors and part-time residents. Ski area expansion was listed as the No. 1 priority, followed by an ice rink and more Nordic skiing options. In addition to these, the plan looked at snow-

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making as well as increasing summer options, including mountain bike and hiking trails, and festivals.

If all of this sounds a little grandiose for Kendall’s jeans-skiing, bota-toting vibe, fear not. Branner said residents’ overwhelming request with the expansion was to retain Kendall’s down-home, high-country funk.

“We want to keep it affordable, family-friendly and low-key, like a Monarch or Wolf Creek,” she said.

“There are some other real gems that are small ski areas that have maintained their authenticity.”

For comparison, Kendall now operates on 16 acres; Monarch is 800 acres and Wolf Creek 1,600.

In addition, the expansion does not include any real estate development. That means no condo cities, highrises or slopeside McMansions.

“We envision using the downtown as the ‘ski village,’” she said. “It’s a shorter walk to town from Kendall than it is from parking to the skiing at most resorts.”

Branner also emphasized that all of these notions are still very preliminary, sort of like a wish list for Santa.

“These are just scenarios we came up with. It is not a plan. It just allows us to have a discussion,” she said.

And now that the small study is done, it’s time for – you guessed it – an even bigger one.

“The next step is coming up with a master plan,” she said. “Will it include skiing? Yes, in some way, shape or form to be determined.” 4

The town applied for a GOCO grant last month to help with developing a Kendall master plan but won’t hear back on whether they won the funds or not until March. In the meantime, local residents have given it their blessing. At a public meeting Nov. 8, where Branner discussed the viability study, 63 people turned out (a veritable mob for off-season Silverton), most expressing support for the expansion.

A follow-up survey on whether the town should further explore expanded year-round recreation at Kendall gathered 117 responses – 108 in favor, six “maybes” and three nos.

“It was an amazing response rate,” she said. “We got some great comments.”

Of course, as is often the case with such things, the devil is in the details. According to SE Group, which has done studies for Vail, Silverton Mountain and Purgatory, among others, Kendall will need 1,000 skiers a day over a 100 to 120-day season to be sustainable. Right now, on a good day, Kendall sees about 120 skiers.

But Branner points out that 1,000 skiers is not outside the realm of possibility for the town, which sees about that many visitors during a typical summer tourism day. However, lodging could prove difficult at first. As of now, the town’s winter room capacity is 400.

Other concerns raised on the survey’s comment section include avalanche mitigation, environmental impacts and infrastructure, such as roads, sewer and water. Others say the 800-acre plan is simply too lofty.

And, of course, there is the issue of cost. The full-scale expansion under the 800-acre scenario comes with a $25 million price tag. Branner said whether that is scaled back or how it will be funded remains to be seen. There will also need to be an exploration on how the ski hill will be run: as a municipal hill, such as Chapman or Steamboat’s Howelsen Hill, a private enterprise, or some sort of combo.

“There are a lot of question marks there, and funding will depend on what business model we want to pursue,” she said. “We have a lot of work to do as a community.”

And while a lot of questions may still be up for debate,

Night skiing & Ice Disco Kendall ups its offerings for 2018-19

An aerial view (shaded in brown) of the area of Kendall Mountain proposed for expansion. The existing base area is in the lower left. there is one thing most local residents agree on: Silverton needs to diversify its economy. Particularly after this summer, when fires shut down its lifeblood, the D&SNGRR, as well as surrounding public lands. Expanded skill hill offerings will not only bring in visitors and their dollars, but create jobs, improve the quality of life and maybe attract new residents, families and businesses.

“People are realizing we need to do something to diversify,” she said. “The idea is to balance out the summer and winter economies. This is one piece of that puzzle. It’s ambitious, no doubt.”

But unheard of? No. In fact, Branner said the idea of expanding skiing at Kendall is almost as old as the ski industry itself.

“Looking back through city and county records, this discussion has been going on since the 1950s, if not earlier,” she said. “There is so much potential there. It’s exciting.

Maybe it’s an idea whose time has finally come.” n

While Kendall Mountain considers its options for the future, some of you may be wondering, what about this season? Despite recent snowfall, Kendall Mountain is not quite ready to open for business, according to the town’s community relations manager Lisa Branner.

The ski hill was hoping to open Dec. 7, but it appears one more good dump of 8 to 10 inches is still needed.

However, the recent frigid overnight temperatures have allowed good progress to be made on the ice rink.

“It is possible the rink may open earlier than in past years,” Facilities, Parks and Recreation Director Todd Bove told the Silverton Standard.

Once open, Kendall’s lifts will run Fri. – Sun., 11 a.m.

– 4 p.m. and will have extended holiday hours, operating daily Dec. 21-Jan. 1, MLK Weekend (Jan. 17-21) and President’s Weekend (Feb. 14-18).

In addition, this winter Kendall will offer four nights of skiing under the lights from 5 – 9 p.m. Dec. 22, Jan. 19, Feb. 9 and March 23. There will also be food, beer and wine, a bonfire and a DJ to liven up the evening.

Night tickets are $25 adults and $17 kids/seniors. Children 5 and under ski free. Day tickets, discount passes and season passes are not valid for night skiing.

Also new this season is “Ice Disco.” Kendall will be spinning ’70s disco tunes at the Kendall outdoor rink from 5 - 8 p.m. on Sat., Feb. 23. The event will include beer & wine, food, and, of course, a costume contest.

The skating is free and open to the public.

Folks can get up-to-date information on opening day, grooming, snow conditions and the ice rink on the Kendall Mountain Facebook page or at skikendall.com.

– Missy Votel

Join us at our NEW location this holiday season:

742 Main Avenue!

Great gifts, festive holiday wear, new men's shirts, stocking stuffers and so much more. ~ Thank you for shopping local ~

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Dec. 6, 2018 n 15

FlashinthePan

Blurring the lines at breakfast

by Ari LeVaux

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ecessity may be the mother of invention, but I am the father of two young necessities. That is why, in the foggy hours of a recent morning, I invented pancake French toast.

They wanted French toast for breakfast, but we were out of bread. I wondered if we had any other bread-like materials in the house that could be soaked in egg and fried in butter. I decided on pancakes.

Making French toast out of pancakes involved an extra step of making blueberry pancakes first, but disaster was averted. After the school bus left, I got back to work.

Though I rarely eat breakfast, I was curious about those golden-brown disks of French toast pancakes. I’m not a sweet breakfast person; I like my eggs salty and spicy. I saw no reason why pancake French toast couldn’t be savory.

After all, crepes – those beloved French pancakes – come with both sweet and savory fillings. So savory French toast pancakes made sense, at least on paper. I began my experiments. A mushroom and garlic version was lovely, as was the tofu scallion. My favorite so far, which I will tell you how to make, is ham and cheese.

One thing they all have in common so far is their supple, spongy-yet-toothy texture. A brown, crispy, French toast-like exterior guards an eggy batter below the surface, and a dry puffy pancake in the middle. At the table, they are formidable adversaries: fat, rounded and heavy.

Unlike most pancakes, which leave you hungry a few minutes later, these won’t abandon your belly.

I don’t have a waffle iron, so I haven’t explored French Toasted Waffles. I suck at making gravy, so I haven’t smothered a pancake with it. Surely there are more winning variations to discover.

They will all taste great with coffee, I’m quite certain, which is my definition of a truly great breakfast, regard-

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less of the time of day it is served.

In my recipe for Ham and Cheese French Toast Pancakes, pancakes are dipped in beaten eggs, as if they were slices of bread. For lovers of sweet breakfast, the same technique can be used to make sweet pancake French toast, with berries in the mix, and cinnamon, nutmeg

and vanilla in the French toast batter.

I hate to sound like a shill, but the best pancakes I’ve ever made have been with Krusteaz Buttermilk Pancake Mix. I first tried it in Alaska as a breading for deep-fried halibut, mixed with beer instead of water. It’s magical stuff.

Ham and Cheese French Toast Pancakes Makes 3 large pancakes, serves 2 (with one extra to fight over) 1 cup prepared pancake batter, preferably Krusteaz, in a medium bowl 1 slice ham (or mortadella, prosciutto or bacon), cut into half-inch shards 2 tablespoons Swiss cheese (or other melting cheese, like asiago fresco), in quarter-inch cubes

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2 tablespoons butter, divided + more for serving 1 egg 2 tablespoons milk or cream Black pepper, chile flakes, hot sauce or other hot and spicy materials, if you wish 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley Let the pancake batter sit for at least 10 minutes. Stir the ham and cheese into the pancake batter.

Heat a stovetop griddle to medium high.

Coat with 1 tablespoon butter, and pour in three pancakes. Don’t worry about any protruding chunks. They will fall in line when you flip the pancakes. Cook for about two minutes per side; don’t overcook, which would create an impermeable skin that won’t soak up the French toast batter.

Remove the cooked pancakes and let them cool on a plate, about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, crack the egg into the unwashed vessel in which you mixed the pancake batter. Add the milk and optional spices and beat. You want to incorporate as much of the leftover pancake mix as possible, which gives body to the French toast batter, and helps further blur the line between pancake and French toast.

One at a time, dip them into the French toast batter.

The art is to let them soak for just the right amount of time. Too quick, and the pancakes don’t absorb enough French toast batter. Too long and they can disintegrate.

About 30 seconds should do it.

Turn the pan down to medium heat, add a tablespoon of butter to coat, and fry the battered pancakes. Pour any remaining batter on top of the pancakes. It may run down the sides and start cooking into scrambled eggs on the sides. That’s fine, because those sputtering puddles of egg are your indicator of when you need to turn the toast. When the egg around the sides looks cooked (about two minutes) flip the pancake and cook for two minutes on the other side, like a normal piece of French toast, Serve with salsa, mayo or gravy. And coffee, of course. n

TopShelf

The holiday gorge, ballerinas and Moral Panic

by Chris Aaland

your favorite liquor store starting Friday. Moral Panic Brut IPA becomes the newest member of Ska’s mainline beer family, and ugar cookies? Check. I’ve eaten my fill already, less than one thought to be the first canned Brut IPA in the state. The refreshweek into December. Christmas tree decorated? Roger that. ing, dry-finishing IPA satisfies Ska co-founder and CEO Dave ThiThe woodpile stocked for the winter? We felled and bucked bodeau’s urge to name a beer Moral Panic and quenches palates three more dead aspens in my back yard the past two weekends gravitating toward an emerging trend. “In sociology, moral panic and they’re ready for splitting and stacking. The stockings are alis the process of arousing social concern over an issue, legitimate ready hung by the chimney with care. Yep, the holiday season is or not,” Thibodeau waxes poetically. Perplexed by my old buddy’s upon us. explanation of the beer’s Holiday traditions around name, I sought it out at the here don’t get bigger than World Headquarters recently Noel Night, which takes seeking enlightenment about place Friday downtown. this new trend. Moral Panic Many businesses have sales, has a hint of dryness without specials, live music, complithe lingering bitterness of tramentary beverages and more. ditional IPAs. It isn’t aggresIt all started in 2002 as a resive, with a tropical nose sponse to the Missionary from Galaxy and Citra hops.

Ridge Fire and the damage it It’s also only 5.7 percent ABV did to local businesses. It’s sad – much lower than most that this year’s 416 Fire imBruts on the market. pacted businesses in a similar The first Friday of each way. Eschew Amazon and month is Firkin Friday at support your friends and Steamworks, and this month neighbors by shopping downis a special winter warmer, town and keeping the revMucho Macho. The recipe is enue at home. a raspberry vanilla Imperial Another annual highlight Stout that starts with Steamto the December entertainworks’ own Macho Man Imment calendar is the State perial Stout as its base.

Street Ballet of Santa Barbara’s The Nutcracker ballet returns to the Concert Hall at 7:30 p.m. Fri., According to head brewer Dec. 7; 2 and 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8; and 2 p.m., Sun. Dec. 9. presentation of the holiday Ken Martin, Macho Man has Nutcracker ballet at the Community Concert Hall. Once all the attributes of a good stout: chocolate and “roasty/toasty” again, evening performances are slated for 7:30 p.m. Friday and dominance with toffee and bready undertones. “But it’s much Saturday, with matinees at 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. In addibigger, fuller bodied and stronger,” said Martin, pointing to tion to the State Street troupe, more than 80 local dancers will Macho Man’s 9.5 percent ABV. “Then we added the fermantables, join the professionals, along with the San Juan Symphony. Artisso I suspect it’s approaching 10 percent ABV. Madagascar vanilla tic director Rodney Gustafson holds true to the original classic beans were soaked in bourbon for about a month, then dropped ballet in this Tchaikovsky masterpiece, creating a traditional Nutinto the firkin along with raspberry extract. This one will be cracker set in Victorian times and suited for all ages. served in 10-oz. glasses due to its potency. The firkin gets tapped Seasons celebrates its 24th anniversary with its annual holiday at 3 p.m. Friday. benefit from 6-9 p.m. Tuesday when it raises money for Manna KSUT Public Radio hosts its annual 12 Hours of Giving on Growing Opportunities/Feeding Community. The public is inWednesday. Listeners who pledge their support will be automativited to drop in to sample the latest seasonal menu as well as tracally entered into hourly drawings that take place from 7 a.m. - 6 ditional fare and fine wines. A minimum $40 per person donation p.m. Prizes include lift tickets to Purgatory and Wolf Creek, Osfor Manna is requested. “Seasons is now one of a small group of prey packs, concert-and-dining pairings, an iPad mini and two long-standing restaurants in Durango,” said owner/general mantickets to the Michael Franti “Making a Difference” film screening ager Karen Barger. “Instead of having just a party, we always want and acoustic performance Dec. 18. In addition to the drawings, to make our anniversary count. What better way to celebrate than guests like the Bar-D Wranglers will drop by for their annual onwith donations to the entity that is not only feeding those in air holiday set. Plus, all donations received this month will be enneed, but also through their culinary program, training future tered in an end-of-year drawing for a weeklong trip for two to a restaurant employees?”

Mexican resort. The end-of-month drawing will take place Dec. El Moro Spirits & Tavern hosts a food and beer pairing 28. Pledge by calling 970-563-0255 or at www.ksut.org. from 6-9 p.m. tonight (Thurs., Dec. 6). Courses will be paired with Elsewhere: Rob Webster entertains at Ska Brewing at 4:30 beer (from Steamworks, Ska, Carver’s, BREW and Animas Brewing) p.m. today; the Black Velvet Trio returns to the Derailed Pour at each station, plus a complimentary welcoming cocktail upon House at 7 p.m. Saturday; and La La Bones bring bluegrass to arrival. There is no limit on how many times diners visit each staFenceline Cider in Mancos at 7 p.m. Saturday. tion. Tickets cost $50 per person.

Finally, I sat at home Friday numb over the news of the passing BREW Pub & Kitchen is stoked for deep powder, lots of turns of President George H.W. Bush. I never voted for him; his and a safe backcountry season. From 6:30-9 p.m. tonight, they’ll politics were polar opposites of mine. But I always respected his host their first Avalanche Pint Night, raising money for public service, especially his years as a Navy fighter pilot in World Friends of CAIC, the nonprofit organization that supports avaWar II. I like to think he may have flown or trained with Bob Bylanche forecasting and awareness. One dollar from each pint goes erly, a Navy aviator who was a step-grandfather of mine. Or he toward the cause, plus there’ll be an epic prize drawing. may have flown sorties over Guadalcanal protecting Marines like There’s a new beer in town – not quite a shocker, since with my father’s father. Thank you, Mr. President. five breweries churning out craft beers, new ones get tapped on a weekly basis. This one, however, can be found on the shelves of Anchors aweigh, my boys. Email me at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net.n

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Dec. 6, 2018 n 17

onthetown

Thursday06

​ aby Meetup with Durango Café au Play, 9:30-11:30 B a.m., 2307 Columbine. durangocafeauplay.org.

Baby Meetup, 9:30-11:30 a.m., Columbine House at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, 419 San Juan Dr. Toddler Storytime, 10:30 a.m., Durango Library.

Office Hour with City Councilor Dick White, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., City Hall, 949 2nd Ave.

Community Forum on Suicide Prevention, hosted by La Plata and San Juan counties Suicide Prevention Collaborative, 12:30-2:30 p.m., Durango Library.

Less Jargon, More eBooks & Audiobooks, 1-5 p.m., Ignacio Community Library. 563-9287.

Coors Light Ski Giveaway, 2 – 3 p.m., Powderhouse, Purgatory Ski Resort.

Holiday Ornament Making Extravaganza, 2:306:30 p.m., Fort Lewis Mesa branch Library. 588-3331.

Afterschool Awesome! for K-5th graders, 3:30 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Drop-in Tennis, all ages, 4 p.m., Fort Lewis College. www.durangotennis.com.

Kidz Klub, 4 p.m., Ignacio Library. 563-9287.

“Doc Swords,” PTSD Social Club for Veterans, 4-6 p.m., VFW, 1550 Main Ave. Rob Webster, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

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Studio & gives the gift of art this holiday season

Beginner Tai Chi, 9:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Luminaries Toastmasters, open to all, noon, La Plata County Administration Building, 1101 E. 2nd Ave.

Submit “On the Town” items by Monday at noon to: calendar@durangotelegraph.com

How bizarre:

Yoga Flow, 8 a.m., Pine River Library.

What: Studio &’s 6th annual Bizarre Bazaar When: Fri., Dec. 7 Sun., Dec. 9 Where: Studio & Gallery, 1027 Main Ave. Looking for that perfect, one-of-a-kind gift for the person who has everything? Why not support local artists and give something completely unique that won’t just end up in the landfill this holiday season? Studio &’s annual Bizarre Bazaar returns this weekend, Fri., Dec. 7 – Sun., Dec. 9.

As the name would suggest, this once-a-year local art extravaganza features a veritable lollapalooza of hand-crafted and lovingly-made offerings and wares. This year’s bazaar will be brimming with items from more than 20 artists in-

cluding: Marti Bourjaily; Nicole Ferguson; Matthew Hanson-Weller; Alisa and Larry Hjermstad; David Holub; Mandy Houpt; Kate Huxel; Tim Kapustka; Elizabeth Kinahan; Maureen May; Carol Meckling; Marjorie Meyer-Nugent; Deb Morgan; Melissa Percell; Donny Phillips; Jenn Rawling; Angela Reali; Howard Riley; Grace Damien; and Adam Wenger.

The bazaar will be open from 10 a.m. – 9 t p.m. Friday, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. Sunday for your shopping pleasure.

(And, BTW, it’s perfectly fine to buy something for yourself while you’re there. No haggling or farm A animals, please.)

w Avalanche Pint Night, to benefit CAIC, sponsored

by Backcountry Experience, 6:30 – 9 p.m., BREW Pub and Kitchen.

Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. “Human Migration: Myth and Reality,” part of the Life Long Learning Lecture Series, 7 p.m., Noble Hall at Fort Lewis College, Room 130. www.fortlewis.edu/pro fessionalassociates.

Sitting Meditation, 5:30-6:15 p.m., Durango Dharma Center, 1800 E. 3rd Ave.

Friday07

Noel Night, Dec. 7, downtown Durango. www.down f towndurango.org.

Durango Early Bird Toastmasters, 7-8:30 a.m., LPEA, 45 Stewart St. 769-7615.

Free yoga, 8:30-9:30 a.m., Lively Boutique, 809 Main.

Zumba Gold, 9:30-10:15 a.m., La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Acoustic Music Jam, 7 p.m., Pine River Public Library.

Neighborhood Meeting about Accessory Dwelling Units, 5:30-6:30 p.m., Unitarian Universalist Church, 419 San Juan Drive. www.durangogov.org/adus.

“Seussical the Musical” opening night, 7 p.m., show also runs Dec. 7-8, 14-15 and 1 p.m., Dec. 8 & 15, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. wdurangoarts.org.

“Andy Irons: Kissed by God,” documentary, 5:30 and 8 p.m., Animas City Theatre, animascitytheatre.com.

Open Mic & Stand-Up, 8 p.m., El Rancho Tavern, 975 Main Ave.

Breastfeeding Workshop, presented by Joy Frazer, 6-8 p.m., Kids Rock, 563 Main Ave.

Karaoke, 8 p.m.-close, Wild Horse Saloon, 601 E. 2nd Ave.

Intermediate Tai Chi, 10-11 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Lactation Support, 10 a.m.-noon, Prenatal Yoga, t noon-1 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. 749-9607 or durangocafeauplay.org.

The Bizarre Bazaar, 10 a.m.-9 p.m., event also runs 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Dec. 8, and 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Dec. 9, Studio &, 1027 Main Ave. anddurango.com. 4

Stacked Rock Kennels • Boarding • Dog Training • We offer pick up and delivery (to Durango) • Home counsel (we’ll come to you!)

5 miles north of Mesa Verde National Park

www.Stackedrockkennels.com Facebook: stackedrockkennels/kimberlysilverkincaid

Call/text: 970-317-5446 18 n Dec. 6, 2018

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Caregiver Café, 10:30 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Storytime, 10:30-11 a.m., Durango Public Library.

Kid Konsume performs, 9 p.m.-close, Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

Saturday08 Christmas Tree Train, Dec. 9, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. www.durangotrain.com.

Sunday09

Drop-in Tennis, all ages, 9 a.m., Durango High School courts. www.durangotennis.com.

Demo Day, test out the latest gear from the local shops, 9 a.m. – 2:30 p.m., Purgatory Ski Resort.

Firkin Fridays featuring “Mucho Macho” on tap, 3 p.m., Steamworks Brewing Co., 801 E. 2nd Ave. 259-9200.

Holiday Farmers Market, featuring local produce, meet, cheese, crafts, lives music and more, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

STEAM Lab: LEGO Club, ages 5-12, 3:30-4:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Frosty’s Holiday Craft Fair, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Bayfield High School.

Spanish Speaking Parents & Littles Fridays, 3:305:30 p.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. durangocafeauplay.org.

Friends of the San Juans On-Snow Avi session, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m., Molas Pass. Preregistration required at www.thesanjuans.org.

Face Painting & Temporary Tattoos, part of the library’s 10th birthday celebration, 11 a.m.-noon, Durango Public Library.

“Asymmetrical Beauty,” works of Lawrence Baca, opening reception 5-9 p.m., show runs thru December, Sorrel Sky Gallery, 828 Main Ave. 247-3555.

Ignacio’s Taste of Christmas, featuring Christmas Bazaar, parade, tree lighting, horse drawn carriage rides, pictures with Santa and more, 5:30-8 p.m., ELHI Community Center in Ignacio. 563-4100.

Open Mic at Smiley Cafe, 5:30-8 p.m., sign up from noon-4 p.m.; Smiley Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. 403-5572.

Irish Jam, 12:30-4 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. Blue Moon Ramblers, 7 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Monday10 Yogalates, 9 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

ICL MakerSpace, 10 a.m., Ignacio Library. 563-9287.

Henry Stoy performs, 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave. 570-650-5982.

Play day, 10 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Aztec Record Swap, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Aztec Theater.

749-4446.

Watch Your Step class, 10:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

Holiday Maker Fair, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Mancos Library.

VFW Indoor Flea Market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., 1550 Main Ave. 247-0384.

Meet local children’s book authors Kate Siber and Anna Swain, featuring book-signings, special discounts and more, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave. www.mariasbookshop.com.

Sensory Storytime, for children on the autism spectrum and differently-abled children, 10:30-11:30 a.m., Durango Public Library.

Family First Fridays, s’mores, hot chocolate and bonfire, 6 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

“MacBeth” screened by the National Theatre Live Productions, 11 a.m., Animas City Theatre, 128 E. College Dr. www.animascitytheatre.com.

Local author Luke Mehall signs copies of his new book, part of Noel Night festivities, 5 – 9 p.m., Pine Needle Mountaineering.

Women’s Workshop for Connection to the Pelvic Floor, 2-4:30 p.m., Yoga Durango, 1485 Florida Rd., Suite C-201. 985-2416 or www.yogadurango.com.

Pine Needle Dry Goods Grand Opening and Noel Night celebration, 5 – 9 p.m., Pine Needle Dry Goods, 858 Main Ave.

Funk Jam with Bootyconda, 6-9 p.m., Kaztro performs, 9 p.m., Starlight Lounge, 937 Main Ave.

“The Nutcracker,” performed by State Street Ballet featuring the San Juan Symphony, opening night, 7:30 p.m., show also runs 2 and 7:30 p.m., Dec. 8, and 2 p.m., Dec. 9, Community Concert Hall at Fort Lewis College. www.duran goconcerts.com.

Blue Lotus Feet Kirtan, 7:30-9:30 p.m., YogaDurango, Florida Road.

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Monday Music, 10:30 a.m., Durango Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201. durangocafeauplay.org.

Doing your own divorce and/or custody in Colorado, presented by SW Colorado Bar Association and Colorado Legal Services, 5:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Trivia Night, 7 p.m., Blondies in Cortez.

Classic Movie Monday, 7 p.m., Pine River Library.

Learn to Square Dance, with Wild West Squares, 78:30 p.m., Florida Grange, 656 Hwy 172. 903-6478.

Tuesday11 Yoga for All, 9 a.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Lisa Blue Trio, 6 p.m., Dalton Ranch Golf Club.

La Plata County Democrats Christmas Party, featuring music, dinner and drinks, 6-9 p.m., Manna Soup Kitchen. theclubdems@gmail.com.

Beginner Tai Chi, 9:15 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave. Toddler Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m. and 4 p.m., Café au Play, 1309 E. 3rd Ave., Room 201.

Black Velvet Trio performs, 7 p.m., Derailed Pour House, 725 Main Ave.

Zumba, 9:30 a.m., Durango Senior Center, 2424 Main.

Fake News: Political Cartoons, discussion featuring Shan Wells and Ricardo Cate, 7:30 p.m., Sunflower Theatre in Cortez. www.sunflowertheatre.org.

Storytime, 10:30 a.m., Mancos Public Library.

Knitters, 1 p.m., Ignacio Community Library.

Comedy Cocktail open mic stand up, 8 p.m., Eno Wine Bar, 723 E. 2nd Ave.

More “On the Town” p. 204

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AskRachel Interesting fact: Hats do not, in fact, make hair grow faster or slower. They don’t make you go bald or white. I didn’t even realize these were myths about hats until, desperate to fill this space, I looked up “hat hair facts.”

Dear Rachel, I keep hearing and reading climate change news in the press. I have to admit, I’m stunned.

Usually the everyday issues like “fascist defense of our borders” and “kids in cages” are bumped for the new and flashy trends like “Hey look, George Bush’s dog is lying by his casket.” Are we as a people actually starting to take climate change threats seriously? Or is this just a slow news cycle?

– Startled News Junkie Dear Fair Weather Friend, Oh, it’s totally a slow news cycle. Or, rather, we’ve recalibrated our definition of “newsworthy” to mean “please tell me something, anything, besides what that Tang-tinted buffoon said to claim attention this time.”

We’ve gotten to the point where word of the inevitable demise of humanity within our own lifetimes is preferable to just about anything else coming out of newsrooms, because at least all our mistakes will be wiped out with us.

– Ever the optimist, Rachel

Dear Rachel, Since winter is finally happening for the first time in two years, I’m dealing with extreme cases of hat hair. I never used to have this prob-

lem. I think my mop got used to warmer weather, like a Florida snowbird, and now it no longer remembers how to bounce back. Now my hair either plasters to my head or Einsteins to the heavens every time I doff my lid. What’s an efficient remedy for this horrible condition?

– Hairy Styles Dear Hirsute Circumstances, The surest way to avoid a bad hair day is just to shed the hair itself. Shave it off. Shave it all off. Or, start rocking the careless look that shows you’re too occupied with deep musings (and possibly even poetry!) to care what your hair looks like. I don’t really recommend that, though. My friend saw how greasy Bradley Cooper’s hair was in “A Star is Born,” and he didn’t shower for a week.

He’s now single and unemployed.

– Tip o’ the hat, Rachel

Dear Rachel, In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a Telegraph writer. And your true identity is a seriously hot topic on the streets of Durango.

Someone stops me in public (even total strangers) probably once a month to ask me who you really are. They don’t understand what a tightly kept secret you are, even within the inner circle. I’m starting to wonder if you even exist, or if you are crowdsourced or AI or something, so that no one knows the full truth of you. At least please tell me, Rachel, do you even exist?

– Regular Contributor

from p. 19

Avalanche Awareness Rescue Clinic Part I, sponsored

by Friends of the San Juans; Part II Dec. 16, 6-8 p.m., Pine Needle Mountaineering, 835 Main Ave. thesanjuans.org.

24th Anniversary Celebration and fundraiser for Manna, 6-9 p.m., Seasons Rotisserie & Grill, 764 Main Ave.

Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 6:30 p.m., BREW Pub & Kitchen, 117 W. College Dr. 259-5959.

OntheTown

Seasonal Apothecary, herbal tea blending, 6 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

Folk Jam, 6-8 p.m., The Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave.

Pub Quiz, 6:30 p.m., Irish Embassy, 900 Main Ave. UN Day of Universal Health Care, film and discussion, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Super Ted’s Super Trivia, 6:12 p.m., Henry Strater Theatre, 699 Main Ave. henrystraterthe atre.com.

Gary B. Walker performs, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Jean-Pierre Café, 601 Main Ave.

“Yugen,” film screening to benefit Friends of the San Juans, 7 – 10 p.m., Pine Needle Dry Goods, 858 Main Ave.

Ongoing

Wednesday12

Morning Yoga with YogaDurango, free yoga 8:30 – 9:30 a.m. Saturdays and Sundays, Durango Mountain Institute, Purgatory base area.

Fired Up Stories, join fire fighters and EMTs for story time, 10:30-11:30 a.m., Durango Public Library.

Stuff the Kettle Green Chili Lunch, to support Salvation Army and Veterans Outreach Center, 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m., LPEA Headquarters, 45 Stewart St.

FLC donation drive for the homeless, thru Dec. 14, items needed include warm clothes, hats, gloves, hand warmers, closed toed shoes, toiletries, tea, canned goods and more. Drop offs at the Leadership Center, Grub Hub and Noble Hall Room 135, FLC. ecmcnichol@fortlewis.edu.

Free Trauma Conscious Yoga for Veterans and Families, noon-1 p.m., Elks Lodge, 901 E. 2nd Ave.

“Ben Nighthorse Campbell: Becoming Cheyenne,” thru Dec. 14, FLC Center of Southwest Studies.

BookMarks Book Discussion, featuring The Power by Naomi Alderman, 2 p.m., Pine River Library in Bayfield.

San Juan Mountains Association Christmas Tree Lot, thru Dec. 20, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad parking lot. 385-1312.

Tween Time: Mug Cakes and Hot Cocoa, for ages 11-17, 4-5 p.m., Durango Public Library.

Heartbeat Durango, support group for individuals affected by suicide, 6-8 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds, look for the Heartbeat sign. 749-1673.

20 n Dec. 6, 2018

Winter Solstice Artisans Market, Mondays – Saturdays, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m., thru Dec. 22, Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

“Herding Chaos,” works by Joan Russel, thru Dec. 22,

telegraph

Email Rachel at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com Dear Colleague, Finally, a question that gets to serious business! Of course I exist. These deep answers don’t appear out of nowhere. But what is the true nature of existence, anyway?

Is each of us humans truly a unique and complete individual? Or are we each really just a collaboration of billions of sentient cells, crowdsourcing their minuscule energies to create a mega-beast greater (in most cases) than its component pieces?

– You tell me, Rachel Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave. www.durangoarts.org.

Polar Express, thru Jan. 2, Durango & Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad. www.durangotrain.com.

3rd annual Winter Art Show, supporting Local First and establishing a Creative District in Durango, exhibit runs thru Jan. 31, Smily Building, 1309 E. 3rd Ave. Karaoke, 8 p.m., Thur-Sun, 8th Ave. Tavern, 509 E 8th.

Upcoming Animas River North & Oxbow Park Project, 5:307:30 p.m., Dec. 13, Durango Rec Center. durangogov.org.

Splitboarding 101 with Weston Splitboards, 6:30 – 8 p.m., Dec. 13 Backcountry Experience.

Bar D Wranglers Christmas Jubilee, 7:30 p.m., Dec. 13, Community Concert Hall, FLC. durangoconcerts.com.

Durango Winter Sports Foundation Celebration and Hall of Fame Induction for Kirk Rawles, featuring live and silent auctions, food, dancing and more, 5:30-9 p.m., Dec. 15, Purgatory Sports, 2615 Main Ave.

Deadline for “On the Town” submissions is Monday at noon.

To submit an item email: calendar@durango telegraph.com

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I write a horoscope for you, I focus on one or two questions because I don’t have room to cover every single aspect of your life. The theme I’ve chosen this time may seem a bit impractical, but if you take it to heart, I guarantee you it will have practical benefits. It comes from Italian author Umberto Eco. He wrote, “Perhaps the mission of those who love humanity is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth.” I swear to you, Aries, that if you laugh at the truth and make the truth laugh in the coming days, you will be guided to do all the right and necessary things.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have a cosmic mandate and a poetic license to stir up far more erotic fantasies than usual. It’ll be healthy for you to unleash many new thoughts about sexual experiments that would be fun to try and novel feelings you’d like to explore and people whose naked flesh you’d be interested to experience sliding and gliding against yours. But please note that the cosmic mandate and poetic license do not necessarily extend to you acting out your fantasies. The important thing is to let your imagination run wild. That will catalyze a psychic healing you didn’t even realize you needed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my continuing efforts to help you want what you need and need what you want, I’ve collected four wise quotes that address your looming opportunities.

1. “What are you willing to give up, in order to become whom you really need to be?” – author Elizabeth Gilbert 2.

“Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from.” – Rebecca Solnit 3. “You enter the extraordinary by way of the ordinary.” –Frederick Buechner 4. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ve called on author Robert Heinlein to provide your horoscope. According to my astrological analysis, his insights are exactly what you need to focus on right now. “Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you,” he wrote. “They are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward

at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What does “beauty” mean to you? What sights, sounds, images, qualities, thoughts and behavior do you regard as beautiful? Whatever your answers might be to those questions right now, I suggest you expand and deepen your definitions in the coming weeks. You’re at a perfect pivot point to invite more gorgeous, lyrical grace into your life; to seek out more elegance and charm and artistry; to cultivate more alluring, delightful magic.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know the expiration dates that appear on the labels of the prescription drugs you buy? They don’t mean that the drugs lose their potency after that date. In fact, most drugs are still quite effective for at least another 10 years. Let’s use this fact as a metaphor for a certain resource or influence in your life that you fear is used up or defunct. I’m guessing it still has a lot to offer you, although you will have to shift your thinking in order to make its reserves fully available.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran rapper Eminem is renowned for his verbal skill.

It may be best exemplified in his song “Rap God,” in which he delivers 1,560 words in six minutes and four seconds, or 4.28 words per second. In one stretch, he crams in 97 words in 15 seconds, achieving a pace of 6.5 words per second. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will also be unusually adept at using words, although your forte will be potent profundity rather than sheer speed.

I encourage you to prepare by making a list of the situations where your enhanced powers of persuasion will be most useful.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In May of 1883, the newly built Brooklyn Bridge opened for traffic. Spanning the East River to link Manhattan and Brooklyn, it was the longest suspension bridge in the world. But almost immediately people spread rumors that it was unstable. There was a growing fear that it might even crumble and fall. That’s when charismatic showman P. T. Barnum stepped in. He arranged to march 21 elephants across the bridge.

There was no collapse, and so the rumors quickly died. I regard the coming weeks as a time when you should take inspiration from Barnum. Provide proof that will dispel gossipy doubt. Drive away superstitious fear with dramatic gestures. Demonstrate how strong and viable your improvements are.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): Robert Louis Stevenson published his gothic novel Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in 1886.

It was a bestseller and quickly got turned into a theatrical production. In the ensuing 132 years, there have been well over a hundred further adaptations of the story into film and stage productions.

Here’s the funny thing about this influential work: Stevenson wrote it fast. It took him three feverish days to get the gist of it, and just another six weeks to revise. Some biographers say he was high on drugs during the initial burst, perhaps cocaine. I suspect you could also produce some robust and interesting creation in the coming weeks, Sagittarius – and you won’t even need cocaine to fuel you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A blogger on Tumblr named Ffsshh composed a set of guidelines that I think will be apt and useful for you to draw on in the coming weeks. Please study these suggestions and adapt them for your healing process. “Draw stick figures. Sing off-key. Write bad poems. Sew ugly clothes. Run slowly. Flirt clumsily. Play video games on ‘easy.’ OK? You do not need to be good at something to enjoy it.

Sometimes talent is overrated. Do things you like doing just because you like doing them. It’s OK to suck.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian athlete Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. He was also the first to become a billionaire. But when he was growing up, he didn’t foresee the glory that awaited him. For example, in high school he took a home economics class so as to acquire cooking abilities.

Why? He imagined that as an adult he might have to prepare all of his own meals. His ears were so huge and ungainly, he reasoned, that no woman would want to be his wife. So the bad news was that he suffered from a delusion. The good news was that because of his delusion, he learned a useful skill. I foresee a similar progression for you, Aquarius. Something you did that was motivated by misguided or irrelevant ideas may yield positive results.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Bible does not say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or even a “sinner.”

There’s no mention of her sexual proclivities at all. Delusional ideas about her arose in the Middle Ages, instigated by priests who confused her with other women in the Bible. The truth is that the Bible names her as a key ally to Christ and the crucial witness to his resurrection. Fortunately, a number of scholars and church leaders have in recent years been working to correct her reputation. I invite you to be motivated and inspired by this transformation as you take steps to adjust and polish your own image during the coming weeks. It’s time to get your public and private selves into closer alignment.

telegraph

Dec. 6, 2018 n 21

classifieds

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

Ads are a bargain at 10 cents a character with a $5 minimum. Even better, ads can now be placed online: durangotelegraph.com. Prepayment is required via cash, credit card or check.

(Sorry, no refunds or substitutions.)

Ads can be submitted via: n classifieds@durango telegraph.com n 970-259-0133 n 777 Main Ave., #214 Approximate office hours: Mon., 9ish - 5ish Tues., 9ish - 5ish Wed., 9ish - 3ish Thurs., On delivery Fri., 10:30ish - 2ish please call ahead: 259-0133.

Announcements Nayda’s Art Holiday Prices - Bold and bright water colors – “Making visual happiness” – Enjoy coffee, conversation and the art show at Fahrenheit Espresso Bar – 201 West Grand Avenue, Mancos, Colorado.

The Perfect Gift for your favorite dirtbag. Literature from Durango’s own Benighted Publications. The Climbing Zine, The Great American Dirtbags, American Climber, Climbing Out of Bed and Graduating From College Me are available at: Maria’s Bookshop, Pine Needle Mountaineering, the Sky Store, or on the interweb at www.climbingzine.com.

Wanted Turn Vehicles, Copper, Alum, Etc. Into Cash! at RJ Metal Recycle, also free appliance and other metal drop off. 970-259-3494.

HelpWanted Registration Manager Vallecitos is seeking a part-time Registration Manager. Enjoy flexible hours and working from home while making a difference in the Dharma! $18-20/hr – approx. 15-25 hours per week. Candidates must have attended at least one silent meditation retreat and an understanding of diversity, equity and inclusion work is crucial. Great customer service, communication, attention to detail and organization are a must as well. Position is in Durango, CO. Interested candidates must email a letter of interest and resume to director@vallecitos.org.

KDUR Radio is Looking for Someone to fill the community member position on our Community Advisory Board.

22 n Dec. 6, 2018

This person should live in La Plata County and be a regular listener to KDUR Radio. Monthly meetings/assistance at fund-raisers and miscellaneous duties are the commitment. Interested parties email Liggett_b@fortlewis.edu

Classes/Workshops Hope Chiropractic and Yoga Presents 5 spaces remain: Workshop: Help for head, neck and shoulder issues, including nerve pain. Want to be pro-active?

Come explore the continuum between mind-body-spirit in a practical and accessible way that has helped many others find relief and comfort. Sat Dec 15th 9-12:30 Smiley Studio 10. $55 before Dec 8th, $65 after. Must pre-register.

More info Dr Keneen Hope DC 970-3053239 www.hopechiroyoga.com Give the Gift of Music!

Flying Picards Studio of Music Etc. Piano, flute, sax, ukulele lessons. All ages. French tutoring and classes. 390 e.

12th street. 970-764-7443 or 970- 2594383. Experienced teacher. Need holiday music for a party? We’re versatile and entertaining.

Restorative Yoga Workshops with Kathy Curran. Saturday, December 8. 9-noon or 2-5pm. Drop ins welcome!

Smiley Building, Room #32 www.4corners yoga.com 259-4794.

Yoga Storytime Yoga storytime! Babies, toddlers, mamas, papas, caregivers - Join us Mondays at 9:30-10:45am for yoga, storytime, music and sensory learning! Class taught

by Chloe Dee Dudley and Baby Bronson.

Studio 10 inside the Smiley Building at 1309 E. 3rd Ave, Durango. Suggested donation $10. All are welcome. Questions?

Chloe.dee.dudley@icloud.com Yamuna Body Rolling for the Spine Spine Health Workshop Sunday Dec 9th 10am-12pm. www.durangobodyrolling.com Mommy and Me Dance Class Come join the fun! Now registering for classes. Call 970-749-6456. mom myandmedance.com.

telegraph

Services

ForRent

House keeper Professional, detailed, reliable local references Barbara 516-480-8343.

Downtown Home for Rent 3 BR/1BA, available now 970-7991868.

Herbal Medicine House Calls Clinical herbalist Kate Husted is making house calls. Specializing in stressed out moms. 303-917-3882.

RoommateWanted

Harmony Organizing and Cleaning Services Home and office 970-403-6192.

Organic Spray Tans!

Glow for the Holidays! Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199.

Low Price on Storage!

Inside/outside near Durango, RJ Mini Storage. 970-259-3494.

Advanced Duct Cleaning Air duct cleaning specializing in dryer vents. Improves indoor air quality; reduces dust and allergens, energy bills and fire risk. 970-247-2462 www.advanced ductcleaninginc.com

BodyWork massageintervention.life Voted best massage in Durango 2018.

Couples, sauna, outdoor shower, cupping.

Reviews on FB + Yelp. 970-903-2984.

Insight Cranial Sacral Therapy Quiet, relaxing, deep. Don 970-7698389.

Massage Gift Certificates!

30, 60 & 90 min Meg Bush, LMT 970759-0199.

Massage with Kathryn 20+ years experience offering a fusion of esalen style, deep tissue massage with therapeutic stretching & Acutonics. New clients receive $5 off first session. To schedule appt. call 970-201-3373.

Male Roommate Wanted Male roommate to share quiet house in town. No smokers, parties. $550 per month, $600 refundable deposit, $50 cleaning fee non-refundable 759-0254.

In Town Room for Rent Seeking quiet, clean, respectful, and professional female to share space in duplex. Spacious rm w private bath. No pets, smoking, partying. Home is shared with a lg, energetic dog. $700/mo including utilities. 970-946-8808.

ForSale Commercial Chest Freezers 18 cu ft Avantco commercial chest freezers- 4 available. Both new in Jan ‘18 for $599. Sell for $300 each, as is, picked up in Bodo. Call 970-749-5599.

Furniture/Electronics for Sale!

6-person table with bench and 4 chairs - comes with buffet table - used $800. 1 silver gray couch 82 x 36 inches - used $500. Small refrigerator (36 inches tall) $200. Adcom (black) stereo - tuner, 6 CD changer and amplifier - (used) $850. Call 970-903-7913 and I will send you pictures!

Red Cliffs Pottery Holiday Sale Local handmade pottery, lg selection!

Come see us at 1375 Florida Rd. Mon-Sat, 9-5, Sun. by appt only. Call 970-7648229.

Colorado Paddle Boards Make Great Gifts!

Free shipping to any location in the USA. Boards in stock at the Durango Outdoor Exchange.

RealEstate

Hot Tub – New 6HP pump, 50 jets. Cost $8,000. Sell $3,650. 505-270-3104.

Radon Services Free radon testing and consultation.

Call Colorado Radon Abatement and Detection for details. 970- 946-1618.

Reruns – Two Stores to Choose From Get ready for the holidays! We have dishes, linens, serving ware and cool furniture. Beautiful new arrivals – several

Pier One cabinets, Asian frog drum/table w/ glass top (repro), stained glass, lamps, nice rugs, lots of cool art (local as well), and beverage fridge. 572 E. 6th Ave. 3857336.

CommunityService Purchase the “Gift” of Electricity for Those in Need “Kilowatt hours” could be one of the most welcomed gifts this holiday season for those having difficulty paying their electric bills, and the “elves” at La Plata Electric Association (LPEA) have reprised a program designed to assist with that special gift of electricity. At offices in both Durango and Pagosa Springs, the LPEA Customer Service Representatives (CSRs) have decorated Power of Giving Trees with ornaments that sport varying dollar amounts ($5 to $100). Community members are invited to select an ornament and bring it to the Customer Service window, and that dollar amount will be applied to the account of a fellow LPEA consumermember challenged with paying their electric bill this season. In addition to the Giving Tree, LPEA consumer-members can also make arrangements to assist specific family members or neighbors with their bills, as well as non-profit organizations, by applying credit to those LPEA accounts.

Gifts of any denomination are accepted at LPEA offices in Durango or Pagosa Springs during regular business hours. Contributions can be made anonymously. www.lpea.coop.

B

Registration for the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic (May 24-26, 2019) opens at 8 .m., Dec. 8, at ironhorsebicycleclassic.com. Locals can register early, from 11 a.m.-8 p.m., Thurs., Dec. 7, at Mountain Bike Specialists, 949 Main Ave. Events include the McDonalds Citizens Tour, Coca Cola Road Race, Quarter Horse to Purgatory, Pedal Assist Quarter Horse, MBS King and Queen of Mountain, Sprite Kids Race, Morehart Murphy Subaru Mountain Bike Race, Durango Cyclery Cruiser Crit, and the LPEA La Strada gravel ride. Additionally, the Alpine Bank push bike park, kid’s village and downtown activities are on the menu.

Give the Gift of Warmth FLC donation drive for the homeless community and others in need. Event runs through Dec. 14, and there are three drop offs at Fort Lewis College: Leadership Center, Grub Hub and Noble Hall Room 135.

Items needed include: warm clothes, hats, gloves, hand warmers, closed toed shoes, new toiletries, tea, canned goods and more.

For questions contact coordinator Ellis McNichol at ecmcnichol@fortlewis.edu.

HaikuMovieReview ‘Four Christmases’ all the tension & awkwardness of being with your own family – Lainie Maxson

Drinking&DiningGuide Himalayan Kitchen 992 Main Ave., 970-259-0956 www.himkitchen.com Bringing you a taste of Nepal, Tibet & India. Try our all-you-can-eat lunch buffet. The dinner menu offers a variety of tempting choices, including yak, lamb, chicken, beef & seafood; extensive veggies; freshly baked bread. Full bar. Get your lunch punch card – 10th lunch free.

Hours: Lunch, 11am-2:30 p.m. & dinner, Sun. - Thurs., 5-9:30 p.m., Fri. & Sat. ‘til 10 p.m. Closed 2:30 to 5 daily $$ Crossroads Coffee 1099 Main Ave., 970-903-9051 Crossroads coffee proudly serves locally roasted Fahrenheit coffee and delicious baked goods. Menu includes gluten-free items along with bullet-proof coffee, or bullet-proof chai! Eggnog lattes are here! Come in for friendly service and the perfect buzz!

Hours: Mon.- Fri., 7 a.m. - 4 p.m. $ BREW Pub & Kitchen 117 W. College Drive, 970-259-5959 www.brewpubkitchen.com Experience Durango’s award-winning brewery & restaurant featuring unique, hand-crafted beers, delicious food - made from scratch, and wonderful wines & cocktails. Happy Hour, Tues.- Fri. 4-6 pm & all day Sunday with $1 off beers, wines & wells & select appetizers at 20% off. Watch the sunset behind Smelter Mountain.

Hours: Wed.-Sun., Noon - 9p.m., Tues. 4p.m. - 9 p.m. Closed on Mon. $$

Jonesing?

a picture . y u ..

it lasts longer.

Some of the amazing photos you see in the Telegraph are now available to purchase online, in digital or print.

Issue 6 is coming soon!

(*for personal enjoyment and use only.)

Wherever you find the Telegraph or at www.gulchmag.com.

To find out about advertising opportunities, email steve@gulchmag.com

To find out more, go to durangotelegraph.com and click on “buy photos.”

telegraph

Dec. 6, 2018 n 23

24 n Dec. 6, 2018

telegraph