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TRUSTED ADVICE FROM PREGNANCY TO PRESCHOOL

THE ULTIMATE TOY GUIDE EXPERT APPROVED JUST IN TIME FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON!

HELLO IN THERE!

HOW YOUR BABY DEVELOPS IN UTERO WEEK-BY-WEEK

TIPS ON CONNECTING WITH YOUR GROWING BUMP

TODDLER BEHAVIOUR

WIN! 6 BEAUTY HAMPERS, WORTH R5 000 EACH!

Special offer

25% OFF KIDS’ LUGGAGE

NAUGHTY OR NOT?

NEWBORN REFLEXES

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

BABY’S FIRST SWIM SPLASH WITH CONFIDENCE!

TV/RADIO PRESENTER

ROMY TITUS

‘I WANT MY DAUGHTER TO KNOW THAT I MADE ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE’

NOVEMBER 2017 R29.00 (INCL. VAT) OTHER COUNTRIES R25.44 (EXCL. TAX)

editor’s notes

PHOTOGRAPHY ALBIE BREDENHANN

PLAY’S THE THING S ince they were tiny tots, my kids have agreed that I have the best job ever. Sure, their friends have fancy houses with the latest garb and gadgets, and toys that would make even Santa blush, but no one else has a mom who gets to see and even bring home cool stuff to test that often isn't even in the shops yet. This time of the year, with the summer holidays and festive season beckoning, the Living and Loving team has had a sneak peek at a wide assortment of goodies that will hit the stores by the time you read this edition. Trust us, it’s all very exciting and fodder for every child’s wish list. But therein lies the challenge – what makes for a suitable gift for your little one? Browsing through some online comments from moms about toys they have given their children, it seems standard that they quickly lose their lustre. A play thing little ones don’t want to put down at first may be forgotten in a matter of hours. I’ve seen it happen with my own kids. But I was enlightened about the power of toys recently when I surprised my nieces with a toy each when I picked them up for a visit at my house. I placed two identical toys on the car seat and will never forget how they

looked at the toys, then looked at each other and then squealed with delight. All the way home, they talked non-stop about what they were going to do with the toys, the scenarios they were going to create, and on and on. The toy boxes were ripped open at the first possible moment when we got to my house. About 15 minutes later, I looked over to see what they were up to – the toys were still on the floor, unattended. But my nieces were still deeply engaged in play, sitting on the couch with a sheet of paper in one hand, the one conducting the other in a pretend concert. So, though the toys were forgotten, they were still very much part of playtime; the toys are what had inspired their imaginations and launched them on a journey only they could pilot. Good toys, it seems, are a lot like good parents! And on that note, I encourage you to turn to page 61 for our annual Toy Guide, which has been carefully selected for little ones aged 0-5 years by creative parenting expert Nikki Bush, exclusively for us. Hopefully, in the midst of the end-of-year-rush, it will help make shopping this festive season a bit easier and give you the peace of mind that the toy you have selected is fun, educational and expert-approved!

Don’t miss our next issue! On sale 20 November.

NOVEMBER 2017

CONTENTS On the cover

Pregnancy & Birth

11 26 32 41

48 81 61 72

HELLO IN THERE NEWBORN REFLEXES BABY’S FIRST SWIM WIN BEAUTY HAMPERS WORTH OVER R5 000 EACH TODDLER BEHAVIOUR GET 25% OFF KIDS’ LUGGAGE THE ULTIMATE EXPERTAPPROVED TOY GUIDE ROMY TITUS ON MOTHERHOOD

20 22

PREGNANCY NOTES Tips and advice to guide you through your pregnancy HELLO IN THERE Ways to grow your bond with your unborn baby MAKE A SPLASH Enjoy the benefits of swimming during pregnancy GESTATIONAL DIABETES One mom shares her journey to health PREGNANCY DIARIES Three moms share their pregnancy journeys

Baby & Toddler 25

BABY NOTES The latest research, news and products to help you raise a happy, healthy baby REFLEX REACTION How your baby’s reflexes affect her development

52 56 PHOTOGRAPHY KEVIN MARK PASS STYLING ASHLEIGH VAN DER WESTHUIZEN MODELS ROMY TITUS AND BABY HERA HAIR AND MAKEUP STORM PASS ROMY WEARS TOP & HEELS ZARA, JEANS H&M, EARRINGS & BANGLE ACCESSORIZE BABY HERA WEARS TOP AND DENIMS, BOTH NEXT AT FOSCHINI

DECOR An inspired space for bonding with baby PARENTING THE SENSITIVE CHILD How to nurture your little one’s unique personality BABY SWIMMING LESSONS The why and how of this essential summer activity SHOP FOR KIDS A selection of gorgeous swimming costumes for your tot BREASTFEEDING BEYOND INFANCY The pros and cons of prolonged breastfeeding PRODUCT WATCH The child-safety products you should know about EARLY WEANING MENU Modern flavour combinations and tips from the experts NOT SO NAUGHTY Understanding your toddler’s changing temperament KIDS’ FASHION Adorable summer staples KIDS EAT THE STRANGEST THINGS! From batteries to dirt, know when to worry THE ULTIMATE TOY GUIDE Expert-approved buys just in time for Christmas shopping

PREGNANCY | BABIES | TOTS

THE EDITORIAL TEAM Editor Sonya Naudé Managing editor Kirsten Davids Art director Geoff Maher Designer Tintswalo Nsibande Digital editor Xanet van Vuuren Copy editor Marianne McDonald Journalist: Thobeka Phanyeko Editor’s PA Elsa de Beer

Family 67

FAMILY NOTES The latest parenting news, products and advice for a happy, healthy family TACKLING TRAUMA How to help your young child through life’s low points MEET OUR COVER STARS Romy Titus on embracing motherhood with flare

Family Fun 74

LITTLE CHEFS Easy Minion cupcakes and sugar-free puzzle biscuits your kids will love CRAFT Ingnite your tot’s imagination

80 82 86 91

with just a little paper MOVIES AND BOOKS Latest releases and books for sunny days FAMILY OUTINGS Get out the house for these fun events TRAVEL Making memories on Binton Island STORY TIME Enjoy this Nal’ibali tale together KIDS’ ESSENTIALS A round-up of products your kids will love. MOMS’ ESSENTIALS Products to make your life easier

Wins & Offers 60 41

SUBSCRIPTION OFFER COMPETITION Win one of six beauty hampers worth R5 276 each GIVEAWAYS

In Every Issue 1 4 6 7 36 59 81 89 90 94 96

ED’S LETTER FEEDBACK #BABYBUZZ PHOTO GALLERY EXPERT ADVICE WHAT’S ONLINE STOCKISTS REAL-LIFE STORY BIRTH STORY WE CARE CELEB CHAT

LIVING AND LOVING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Entries open to South African residents only. Each SMS entry costs R1.50. Competitions are not open to employees of CTP Caxton, sponsors, their immediate families and agencies. The promoter’s decision is final. No correspondence will be entered into. We reserve the right to forward contact details of entrants to competition sponsors. Prizes are not transferable and can’t be exchanged for cash. There are no costs associated with redeeming prizes. Winners will be notified by telephone, email or post. All prize values are correct at time of publication. Prizes awarded are the responsibility of the competition sponsors. Please allow eight weeks after publication for delivery of prizes. Winners must be willing to be photographed for possible publication in Living and Loving, free of any fee. Caxton Magazines, its employees, directors, representatives or agents will not be liable for any loss or damages incurred, and Caxton Magazines shall not be liable for any loss of whatsoever nature and however arising. Prizes are valid for one year from date of issue that they appear in and cannot be re-issued should they expire, or re-sent if they are returned. By entering the competition/giveaway, you give Caxton Magazines the right to contact you regarding Caxton Magazines offers.

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Star letter Heartfelt appreciation I have been rescued twice by my kind sisterin-law and midwife, Karen van der Merwe. She attended the births of my firstborn daughter Nicole and her daughter, my granddaughter, Amber Rose. I recall harbouring a romantic vision of a natural birth when I arrived at the hospital in August. Karen had completed her day shift and

volunteered her services. The next eight hours proved to be the most traumatic of my life as both medicine and nature failed me. I experienced uncoordinated contractions and a failed epidural that only worked on one side of my body. Karen’s help was an unexpected godsend as I delivered my baby. My daughter, Nicole, announced her pregnancy

in 2014, but unfortunately miscarried. Five months later, her canny GP discovered that she was pregnant again. Karen, now in private practice, came to the rescue once again. She provided a seamlessly executed home water birth and Amber Rose came peacefully into the world after a few hours of active labour. − Heather Johnston

Stunning cover I just had to let you know how much I love your September cover – the mom is so beautiful and she just exudes love. It made me feel broody to see such a little cutie (don’t tell my hubby, he will have a fit). Well done, I can’t wait to see next month’s proud mommy and baby. − Penny Smithers

“I bath my baby with Johnson’s Top-to-Toe wash and give her a gentle massage while moisturising her skin. I then read her a book before tucking her in. Works like a charm.”

– Aquilla Phanyeko “I bath my little one in the morning and afternoon − it relaxes her and she loves water.”

– Sonam Maharaj

“Even on the days when you feel like you’re failing, look around, I promise, your kids still think you are the best mom in the whole world.” #LLMommyMoments

In my post box I was excited to receive my first issue of Living and Loving since taking out a subscription. I live in a small farming community and it was so lovely to find something interesting in my usually empty post box when I drove through to town. Thank you for getting the magazine to me so promptly after I received an SMS to inform me it was on the way. The subscription process was also so easy. I’m looking forward to my monthly dose of Living and Loving! − Leanne Williams

Do you have a bedtime or bathtime routine to get your toddler calm and ready for bed in the evening?

“Yes, I do! Bath, followed by a massage and a good feed. My little one sleeps through the night.”

– Nivashini Thaver

40% You said it How often do you seek parenting advice?

Occasionally

16% Hardly ever − I feel like I’ve got this

32% Constantly − parenting is new and scary

13% Never − I give the advice now.

This month’s star letter will receive a Yookidoo hamper worth over R1 000. Yookidoo celebrates the importance of discovery by embracing your baby’s natural curiosity for fun and learning through creative play. The range is designed to be interactive and stimulating, so playtime and bath time are both fun and educational. Yookidoo is available at leading toy stores and Baby City stores nationwide. For more information, visit yookidoo.com. EMAIL YOUR LETTERS TO LIVINGANDLOVING@CAXTON.CO.ZA

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Tanya Kovarsky of Rattle and Mum (rattleandmum.co.za) and Dear Max and Rebecca (dearmaxandrebecca.com)

anya (41) is a mommy blogger and PR account director. Her parenting blog features tips, competitions, reviews, humour and trends, and she also has a second blog dedicated to her two children, Max (eight) and Rebecca (one).

I still remember the exact moment I started blogging… I was the editor of Living and Loving at the time, and someone in the digital industry mentioned a mom blogger who I knew of and respected. After meeting with him, I wanted to be part of the mom blogger sect, so I started my ﬁrst blog, Dear Max. About a year later, I started a more general parenting blog, Rattle and Mum. Rattle and Mum is a play on the U2 album title “Rattle and Hum”. Since the content covers mom and child, it felt like a ﬁtting title. What I enjoy most about blogging is the creativity… I love learning new things, meeting people, writing and helping readers out – whether it’s with a useful app, a great product, or an awesome giveaway. I juggle family life, work and blogging with the help of a nanny and a patient husband. I tend to blog every night once the kids are asleep and on

6 | NOVEMBER 2017 | L&L

weekends, too. Between work, I try to spend as much quality time as possible with my kids and ﬁnd that I function and parent better when I’m busy and feeling good about myself. Perhaps that’s why I’m “kinda able” to work, parent and blog. What I love most about being a mom is that I’m always trying to be a better person for my kids. I love hearing my son call me Mommy, and I love seeing my baby daughter reach out for me while giving me a grin with her three new teeth. I love seeing them grow, teaching them and being taught by them.

My advice to moms who feel that there aren’t enough hours in a day… is to try to say no to things that don’t serve you or your family. Spend less time on social media if you think it’s cutting into your time, and ask for help where you can. My advice to writers who would like to start a blog is to just start! Remember that good pictures and snappy headlines go a long way, and don’t forget to share your blog – people won’t know it’s there unless you tell them. Also, keep in mind that anyone could be reading your blog – from your boss or partner to your children (now or one day) and prospective employer. As a mom, I’ve learnt… to let go of routine. You can’t plan for everything with kids, and unexpected things come up. I’ve deﬁnitely become more ﬂexible.

YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT… Babble/babble.com All your parenting concerns are addressed on this Disneyinspired website, from the ﬁrst year of your baby’s life to navigating the terrible twos and beyond. You’ll be spoilt for choice with articles ranging from parenting advice to relationships. Searching for ideas on what to pack for your little one’s lunch, or what to cook for dinner? You’ll appreciate the healthy recipes that are also easy to follow. Not to mention the hacks that will make mommy life easier.

Join a network of moms to share parenting advice and tips. You’ll also have access to expert advice on just about anything related to motherhood.

APP OF THE MONTH Child Friendly SA (childfriendlysa. co.za) Free on iOS and Android This user-friendly app offers you easy access to over 10 000 South African businesses that provide childfriendly services. It is ideal for busy parents with an interest in kids’ parties, movies, holiday programmes, day trips, extra-mural classes and much more. You’ll also have access to 24-hour pharmacies and the listings are based on the places closest to you. l&l

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MEET THE BLOGGER

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photo gallery

#HappySnaps

Send us a photo and you could win a R500 Toys R Us voucher, compliments of Huggies®.

Annabelle Minnaar

Ava van der Merwe

Erich Koekemoer

Ghana Msibi

Isabella Meyer

Nonkazimulo Omuhle Nxumalo

Huggies® Pants, a hug that’s made for movement The moment your baby starts to wriggle, you can use innovative Huggies® Pants for Boys and Girls. They’ve been designed to ﬁt babies from the moment they start to move (Size 3) until they no longer need to wear nappies. Huggies® Pants are as absorbent as regular nappies, but with an all-round stretchy waistband, are designed to ﬁt like underwear so that your baby has the freedom to wriggle, climb, crawl and roll more easily. Use Huggies® Baby wipes during change time for a gentle, yet effective clean that gently locks away the mess.

Pfunzo Enhle Khorommbi

Treylin Leyton Moodley

Email your picture (must be 1MB or higher) to elsadb@caxton.co.za with #happysnaps in the subject line | *See standard Terms & Conditions on pg. 3.

photo gallery

Chad Ho and Cassandra Wright, 35 weeks pregnant

Dirk and Kezia Smit, 33 weeks pregnant

Mari Verwey, 30 weeks pregnant

Mary Lordner-Burke, 31 weeks pregnant

Monnye Sebola, 27 weeks pregnant

Monalisa Nkonki, 29 weeks pregnant

Neo Moloi, 36 weeks pregnant

Riyakshi Mothilall, 32 weeks pregnant

Email your picture (must be 1MB or higher) to elsadb@caxton.co.za with #preggybelly in the subject line | *See standard Terms & Conditions on pg. 3.

Huggies® New Baby keeps your baby gently protected like a mother’s hug. Huggies® New Baby with SoftAbsorb technology is the softest nappy, offering a soft liner that absorbs runny poo and wetness in seconds, helping to keep your baby’s skin dry and protected. The soft little pillows on the liner create a gentle barrier between skin and mess. Huggies® My First Nappy is a size 0 disposable nappy (up to 4kg) specially designed for newborns. The umbilical cord cut-out facilitates natural healing, and the "fasten anywhere" outer tabs and stretchy waistband make for a perfect ﬁt. Complement nappy changes with Huggies® Newborn wipes, which are soft and absorbent, and gentle on baby's delicate skin.

COMPILED BY ELSA DE BEER PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

#PreggyBelly

Send us a photo and you could win a R500 Huggies® hamper.

FOETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME A CRISIS IN SOUTH AFRICA

COMPILED BY XANET VAN VUUREN PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

According to a study published in the online journal Jama Pediatrics, South Africa has the highest prevalence of foetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD), with 111 per 1 000 people affected. According to the Foundation of Alcohol Related Research, foetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) is thought to affect at least 3 million people in South Africa, with more than 6 million affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorder (FASD). FASD is an umbrella term used for a group of permanent, life-long and irreversible conditions caused by alcohol consumption during pregnancy. These include birth defects, learning difficulties, intellectual disabilities, academic struggles, and behavioural and psychiatric issues, including attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

MORNING SICKNESS COULD BE BENEFICIAL FOR YOUR BABY A study, conducted by two Cornell University evolutionary biologists, and published in The Quarterly Review of Biology, found that mild to moderate morning sickness

DID YOU KNOW? The longest human pregnancy lasted 375 days, while an average pregnancy is 280 days long. Researchers determined that 25-year-old Beulah Hunter was healthy at the time of her pregnancy in 1945, and that her long pregnancy was due to the fact that her baby’s growth was stunted in the womb. Beulah gave birth to a healthy baby girl after 375 days.

AN PREG ELEPHAN N T 24 M ANCY LA ONT STS HS A SHAR ND K PREG S CAN B E NAN T FO TWO YEAR R S.

NEW

DRIVE SAFELY

Pregnancy notes Tips and advice to guide you through your pregnancy.

is nature’s way of protecting mothers and unborn babies from food-borne illnesses, as well as shielding the developing baby from harmful chemicals. These findings, the researchers said, can help explain why some mothers develop aversions to certain foods. The two researchers analysed hundreds of studies that covered tens of thousands of pregnancies, and reported that this is the body’s way of preserving the wellness of the mother at a time when your immune system is naturally suppressed. It also helps protect the developing

baby at a critical time. A follow-up study, conducted by Canadian researchers and published in the Journal of Reproductive Toxicology, found that those who experienced the typical symptoms of morning sickness had fewer miscarriages and gave birth to healthier babies. Only 6.4% of the women who participated in the study and experienced morning sickness had premature births; compared to 9.5% of the women who didn’t experience morning sickness and had premature births.

Throughout your pregnancy, the BeSafe iZi Fix car seat belt helps to position the lap belt so it always stays in the right position without interfering with the safety performance of the threepoint car belt, guiding the lap belt away from the stomach and the foetus in the event of an accident. The belt has been tested in accordance with ECE regulation 16 and can be used from as early as the second month of pregnancy. Available from babygroup. co.za for R699. l&l

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 9

pregnancy & birth

Hell o IN THERE Start building a relationship with your growing baby, and enjoy this amazing journey together.

ith all those antenatal appointments to attend and books to read before you make your birth plan, it’s easy to get so busy that you forget what a life-changing journey you’re on right now: bit by bit, day by day, you’re growing a tiny human being. And as your baby grows, he increasingly shares your experiences and reacts to what is going on in your life. “Babies can be very expressive in the womb,” says Dr Nadja Reissland, who studies prenatal mother-infant interaction from 12 weeks of pregnancy at Durham University in the UK. “Though you can’t see through your tummy to your baby, you can be sure that he can interact with many things that you do. And once you are aware of just what he might be up to, you can start to connect with, and get to know, the person who is on his way.” Using 4D scans to capture babies’ reactions in the womb, Nadja has witnessed some incredible things. “I have observed babies between 32 and 36 weeks moving their hands towards their ears when white noise has been played for them,” she says. “This is really exciting as it suggests that the baby is already learning about his body and is possibly making the connection between hearing a sound and his ears. At 36 weeks, we found that a growing baby makes very definite mouth movements in reaction to different frequency levels of sound played, and these movements appear to specifically relate to the sounds he hears.” So while you’re already responding to your baby’s actions – your sleepy smile that follows a kick in the middle of the night – you may not realise just how much your baby reacts to what you’re up to. There’s a little person travelling on this trip with you – and it’s high time you said a big hello!

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 11

Practise being aware To build a bond with your baby, your first step is to discover what your baby responds to, and learn about his reactions. “To connect with your unborn baby, simply be aware of how he reacts to your daily activities,” explains Nadja. “What happens when you exercise, for example? Does he seem to go to sleep when you do your yoga, perhaps, or does he become very active? What happens when you’re stressed, and how does he behave when you truly relax? Being sensitive to what both you and he are feeling will mean you begin to relate to your baby as a real, living person, rather than a slightly abstract concept that you can’t see. Just as you would at the beginning of any other new relationship you want to nurture, this is all about finding out what makes your little person tick.”

Stimulate his taste buds Your baby’s digestive system is separate to yours, but he can taste what you do. Particles of food are transmitted to your amniotic fluid, which your baby starts swallowing early in the second trimester.

“Sweet foods and drinks can often wake a baby up and get him moving around. But what does your baby do when you eat something spicy?” asks Nadja. “And what about when you eat something that’s not on your normal menu? Does he have a little dance around if you have a sip of cola? Be aware, and you will get a little window on his likes and dislikes!” The scent as well as the taste of food is carried in your amniotic fluid, so he might enjoy the smell of bacon too. So have a taste-testing session tonight with your baby. “It’s fun and it might help you learn something about him,” says Nadja.

Introduce him to the family “It’s a good idea to get your partner and other family members to speak and make sounds around your bump,” says Nadja. “And you should do it too. Your baby will begin to recognise these voices and build attachments. And once you’re used to sitting quietly and chatting or singing to your growing baby, try to notice if he reacts. Parents often tell me that, at times, their baby has a stronger reaction to certain voices, and they really feel that the

Listen up Wear this Mexican Bola pregnancy chime, R380, annabellamaternity.co.za, low over your bump, so your baby hears the soothing chimes. When he’s born, he will likely remember the sound and the peaceful time in the womb.

12 | NOVEMBER 2017 | L&L

baby is reacting directly to that voice. This really helps them relate to their baby.”

Talk him through your day The bonding process is a two-way street, just as you want to know about your baby’s movements, it’s OK to tell him about yours too. So give him a running commentary on your day. If you’re already having little chats with your bump, this is a great way to make that connection more constant. There will be moments when you go blank, or feel silly, but these will be the times when you tell yourself that this is a real person you’re growing, so it’s perfectly normal to be having a chat. It will also create memories you might recall once he’s born – perhaps you’ll be dressing him in a tiny outfit and remember chatting to your bump when you were washing it in preparation, feeling excited at the idea of him wearing it. These shared experiences will cement your emotions towards him.

Visualise your baby It’s easy to see your bump as just a big round belly. But spending time picturing your baby inside your womb can help you

pregnancy & birth to strengthen your special connection. As he gets bigger, start every morning by having a gentle feel for his limbs and see if you can work out where his head is nestled. When he kicks, make a mental note of just where that kick was and figure out which way up that means he might be. “Take time to wonder what he is doing right now,” says Nadja. “Is he peacefully sleeping? Might he be smiling? Picturing his body reminds you he is real and reinforces how special it is that you’re cocooning him.”

Record what you learn

See him face-to-face

Seeing your baby’s face is a As you try out all these different bonding experience like no other, ways of connecting with your and a 4D scan between 24 and baby, keep a journal of what 34 weeks means you can coo you learn and how you feel to your heart’s content! written or filmed as you progress through your – is a great way to pregnancy together. Bonding with focus on your growing your unborn child is all about being child and to see him as a aware of each other and managing your human, with reactions and feelings, just feelings about how you are changing. like you. Write or record your thoughts Exploring those feelings via a journal – as if they are letters or messages to your baby, and this will further aid the bonding process as you feel like you are talking to him. You will imagine him, as a boy or man, reading or hearing your words one day, and realising how much you loved growing him. You could even set up a separate email address, and mail him regular messages, which he can access one day in the future.

Cradle your bump

touch between you and your partner, so spend time together letting your baby get used to your touch.” You can use touch to interact with him further from 18 to 20 weeks, when you’ll begin to feel some definite nudges from him. “Very gently, push carefully back when he fidgets or kicks and see if he reacts,” says Nadja. As soon as you start interacting with your growing baby in this way, he’ll stop being just a bump, and become the person you’re, literally, closest to right now. When he’s born, you’ll already have a relationship with him, and feel a far stronger bond. And he’ll be attached to you too!

Touch is a fundamental part of what makes us human and helps us form bonds with each other, so there’s every reason to use it as a way of connecting with your baby right now. “When Make gently massaging studying growing babies during your bump part of your bonding pregnancy, we know that twins routine and your baby will soon will purposefully touch each start to respond to you and your other in the womb and this partner’s touch. Bare Naturals helps cement their bond,” MUM + TUM, R120, faithfulsays Nadja. “We also know to-nature.co.za, feels and that single babies hold onto the smells lovely. umbilical cord, probably because it pulses and this gives them that human connection. Your baby will enjoy feeling you holding your bump. And he may well be able to feel the difference in

Feel good

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 13

Inside Story YOUR WEEK-BY-WEEK GUIDE TO YOUR BABY’S DEVELOPMENT

First trimester

This month we highlight those amazing foetal milestones throughout the 40 weeks

1 WEEK Not really pregnant at all – your dates are taken from the start of your last period so this week it’s likely you’ll be menstruating, but everything’s in place for conception.

2 WEEKS

3 WEEKS

4 WEEKS

Your eggs were made while you were in the womb, but your partner’s sperm is produced continuously from puberty onwards. Your womb lining will be preparing for a fertilised egg.

Congratulations – you’ve made a… blastocyst; a ball of cells that will eventually form an embryo. Your baby is smaller than the full stop at the end of this sentence.

You baby becomes an embryo, with half the blastocyst breaking off to form the placenta and the other half making your baby, including a primitive heart.

6 WEEKS

7 WEEKS

8 WEEKS

Tiny limb buds”have formed. Your baby’s face will now have tiny nostrils and the lenses of her eyes have appeared. Intestines start to grow.

While your baby will still have a tail, “finger rays” have appeared at the end of your baby’s developing arm limb buds. Elbows start to form.

5 WEEKS Your baby’s neural tube – essentially her brain and spine – goes through a growth spurt this week. First heartbeats begin (the heart is no bigger than a poppy seed), and other major organs and the umbilical cord start to develop.

9 WEEKS

Second trimester

Your baby will finally be able to move spontaneously and she can wrap her fingers around anything she touches, such as the umbilical cord.

10 WEEKS

11 WEEKS

Your baby is now a foetus and a little tail finally disappears. The most critical part of your infant’s development is complete. Now you are headed into a period of rapid growth. The placenta begins to function this week or next – it’s responsible for the provision of nutrients and the removal of waste.

Nearly all your baby’s organs are formed and beginning to function – including kidneys, which will help produce the amniotic fluid that surrounds your baby. Fingers and toes have separated now, and your baby’s genitals begin to take on the proper gender characteristics. Her skeleton is complete.

“Toe rays” appear as cartilage and bone begin to form. Her tongue begins to develop and her intestines move out of the umbilical cord and into her abdomen.

12 WEEKS Your midwife will be able to pick up a heartbeat from this week. Vocal cords begin to form and your baby’s liver begins to function – cleansing her blood.

13 WEEKS

14 WEEKS

15 WEEKS

16 WEEKS

Your baby will practise inhaling and exhaling the amniotic fluid. Her hands are becoming more functional and she may play with her fingers – perhaps sucking her thumb.

The thyroid gland can start to produce hormones by now, and your baby’s bones will be getting harder. She’ll also be covered in a fine, protective hair called lanugo.

Her skin is papery and translucent, meaning her blood vessels are visible. Eyebrows and head hair start to appear.

Fat begins to form under her skin, providing your baby with insulation for the coming months. Her heart is pumping as much as 27 litres of blood a day.

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pregnancy & birth

17 WEEKS Pads are forming on her tiny fingertips and toes – and there will be signs of her fingerprints. Her still-closed eyes are now at the front of her face.

18 WEEKS

20 WEEKS

Your baby’s bones are hardening and a protective greasy white substance is forming on her skin. Vocal cords are fully formed – she may practise crying, but without air she doesn’t make a sound. Your baby’s nervous system is working and her first poo, called meconium, is accumulating in her bowel.

The rapid growth stage is over and nerve cells for taste, smell, hearing, seeing and touch are developing in specialised areas of the brain. Production slows down as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. Your baby can also now hear noises outside the womb.

19 WEEKS Your baby has recognisable active and rest periods. If you’re having a girl, the vagina, uterus, and Fallopian tubes are in place. If it’s a boy, the genitals are clear to see.

21 WEEKS

22 WEEKS

23 WEEKS

24 WEEKS

Now her legs are getting stronger, you may feel a “popping” sensation in your belly as she kicks.

Her eyelids and eyebrows are fully formed. If you’re having a boy, his testes begin their descent to the scrotum.

Bones located in the middle ear harden, meaning your baby can now hear your conversations more clearly.

If you drink something strange or bitter, your baby may pull a face as the amniotic fluid changes taste accordingly.

29 WEEKS

The structures of the spine begin to form – joints, ligaments and rings that protect the spinal cord – and your baby’s nostrils begin to open. Her wrinkled skin is starting to smooth out.

Now her brain can control primitive breathing and temperature functions and her eyes can move in their sockets. Your partner might hear your baby’s heartbeat by listening to your tummy.

26 WEEKS Your baby’s eyes are opening and beginning to blink this week and she’ll be able to detect light through your abdomen and uterus. Some babies will turn towards the sun if you are outside.

27 WEEKS Response to sound grows more consistent as the network of nerves to the ear is complete.

Third trimester

25 WEEKS

28 WEEKS Your baby is getting plump and rounded – mostly from increased muscle tissue and bone.

30 WEEKS Your baby has the capability to produce tears and her pupils can dilate in response to light. She spends more and more time practising opening and closing her eyelids.

WORDS PENNY STRETTON/PAN MEDIA PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

34 WEEKS Your baby acts like a newborn, with eyes open when awake and closed when sleeping. You may also find her settling into more of a routine for sleeping and awake times. She could scratch her skin with her fully formed fingernails even before she is born.

31 WEEKS

32 WEEKS

33 WEEKS

Your baby will gain a lot of weight during the rest of the pregnancy. Lungs are the only major organ left to complete development.

All five senses are working. Brain scans have shown that babies have periods of dream sleep (REM) starting around eighth months gestation.

There’s still a lot to do before birth in terms of lung maturity. This week, she may be able to coordinate sucking and swallowing with breathing.

36 WEEKS

38 WEEKS

Fat is dimpling your baby’s elbows and knees, and forming creases in her neck and wrists. Between now and the day she is born she will gain about 28 grams a day.

As your uterine wall stretches and thins, more light will permeate your womb and your baby will have definite daily activity cycles – use this to establish good patterns by getting early nights.

37 WEEKS

39 WEEKS

40 WEEKS

Your baby is officially full-term, but will still benefit from time in the womb. She’ll continue practising breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid – perhaps even getting hiccups!

In addition to normal fat, your baby is accumulating a special “brown” fat in the nape of her neck, between her shoulders and around her organs – important for generating heat during her first weeks.

It’s your baby’s due date! Remember this is only an estimate – only 4% of babies arrive on their due date, so allow for two weeks either side. l&l

35 WEEKS Your baby is gaining weight rapidly now, resulting in layers of fat that will help her regulate her body temperature.

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Make a SPLASH! There’s nowhere better than a swimming pool to stretch out your pregnancy aches and pains, says UK-based aquanatal instructor Ali Burlingham.

our unborn baby is enjoying life in a watery world right now, and so should you! When you’re pregnant, a swim can cool you down, supports your joints and rest your bump. Best of all, being in water helps you feel weightless: immersing your body up to your waist decreases your weight by 50% and, if you submerge up to your chest, 75%. When your bump is getting big, that’s heavenly. So whether you’re a keen swimmer, or just love to float around, here’s how to get the most out of being in the pool at every stage of your pregnancy…

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Find your balance If you’re in your third trimester, your bump may throw you offbalance. The Oodles pool noodle, R39, Makro, is the answer. Wrap it behind your back and hold onto the ends for extra support.

Ease backache A mini hula stretch is an effective way to release tension and stiffness in your lower back and pelvis – especially in your first trimester. Stand with your feet hip-distance apart and bend your knees, before gently circling your hips in one direction, then the other.

pregnancy & birth

Boost your lung capacity

Adapt your stroke If you were a regular swimmer before your pregnancy, you can continue with your usual routine. Swimming is safe, as long as you do some warm-up and cool-down stretches in the pool and gradually build up the length you swim. The best stroke in pregnancy is front crawl. If you prefer breaststroke, focus on lengthening your glide rather than kicking out your legs too strongly, to ensure you don’t aggravate your pelvic area.

Deflate your ankles

Do the following breathing exercise throughout your pregnancy as it increases your lung capacity, creates more space for your baby and reduces any stress you might hold in your chest. Doing it in the pool gives you an even bigger benefit as the water allows your body to relax fully. Start by breathing in through your nose and, when you reach the top of your in-breath, breathe out through your mouth. Make your out-breath longer than your in-breath – count to be sure. As you exhale, get the breath to come from as low as possible in your tummy. Repeat.

Create a bump waterfall

Once you’re in your third trimester, trickling water over your bump is a fun way to bond with your baby. Stand or sit so your back is supported by the wall of the pool, then gently trickle water through your fingers onto the top of your bump. Your baby will feel the change in temperature and might just give you a nudge.

If your feet and ankles are feeling hot and swollen, immersing them in the pool will give instant relief, as the water exerting pressure on your body reduces inflammation. For maximum benefit, stand with your hips against the side of the pool and lift one leg as high as you can up to hip level. Now circle your ankle clockwise, then anticlockwise.

Swim in comfort In the early stages of pregnancy, you don’t need a maternity swimsuit, but it’s worth investing in one in your second trimester. Look for a swimsuit with straps and internal bra support. Try tummiesmaternitywear. co.za for practical and fashionable swimwear from R335.

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Practise labour positions

Stay fit Walking widths across the shallow end of the pool will give you the same cardio benefits as a walk on land, but without the impact on your joints. Water flows in multiple directions, causing a resistance up to 42 times greater than air, so you’ll be increasing your muscle strength without working any harder. Result! If you need music to motivate you, the Zartek V2 4GB waterproof MP3 player, R1 300, sportsmanswarehouse. co.za, is the answer.

Make your baby wriggle

In the last few months of pregnancy, the pool is a great place to discover which birthing positions are right for you. Take a swim with your partner and try them out! You’ll be able to find out what positions are most comfortable and he can work out the best way to safely support you without having to bear all of your weight.

Hold onto the side of the pool and allow your body to float, tummy-down, so you are horizontal. Stretch out your arms and legs and breathe deeply. This frees up space in your womb, encouraging your baby to stretch out too, and maybe even do a few tiny somersaults! If you’re off on holiday, treat yourself to a Holo Lilo, R500, prenatalyoga.co.za. It has a bump-shaped

Protect against back pain

hole, so you can float with your belly down, and your baby will love the feel of

Keeping the muscles in your lower body strong takes the pressure off your lower back, which is under strain during pregnancy. There’s no better exercise for strengthening these muscle groups than squats. However, when your bump is altering your centre of gravity, it can be difficult to balance and do them correctly. But do them in the pool and the water will support your weight. Start with your feet flat on the floor and legs hip-width apart, then sit back as if you were going to sit down, until your legs are bent at a 90° angle, before rising back up.

water against your bump.

Experience your baby’s world Feel the world as your baby does by floating on your back with your ears under the water and your eyes closed. By blocking out other sounds and sights, you’ll be able to tune into his movements and hear your heartbeat as loudly as he does, making it an extra special moment that just you and your baby will share.

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Stretch your leg muscles Your legs work really hard in your third trimester, and giving them a good stretch will ease any tension. If you’ve suffered from cramping during your pregnancy, your muscles will appreciate this. Stand in the pool and rise up and down on your tiptoes to flex your toes, and stretch your calf muscles.

pregnancy & birth

Cool down

Swim outdoors

Feeling hot? To quickly cool down when you first get into the pool, sink down into the water to chin level and gently tip your head back to dip your hair in the water.

If you’re a fan of your local public pool, then you can double up the feelgood benefits of fresh air and being in the water. It can be slippery around outdoor pools, though, especially if you are battling to see your feet now! A pair of MaXed aquasock, R99.99, Mr Price Sport, with studded soles will keep you feeling confident, and can be worn in the pool, too.

Lunge around the pool

WORDS NIKKI DUTTON/PAN MEDIA PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Doing walking lunges around the edge of the pool while in the water is a great way to strengthen your whole body – the more of your body that’s in the water, the bigger the benefit. Simply step forward, bend your knees, and sink down so both of your legs are at a 45° angle, then rise back up. This movement engages your legs, core and chest muscles, and encourages them to work together.

Raise your heart rate If you love exercise classes like Zumba, but are looking for a low-impact alternative as your bump gets bigger, an aquafit class is a great option. As well as protecting and cushioning your joints, water pressure also allows your blood flow to circulate more effectively through your body, which can decrease blood pressure and give you a good cardio workout that’s fun, too. Just let your instructor know that you’re pregnant before the class. l&l

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ES BETNESS A I D RE H A AWMONT

Hayley Schiffman, a mother of three, recounts her brush with gestational diabetes to Lynne Gidish.

Hayley with husband Michael, sons Gabriel (8) and Aiden (6), and baby daughter Orah (1).

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hen I was 20 weeks pregnant with my second son, Aiden, I developed gestational diabetes (GDM). I was 29 years old and had no idea what it was. In fact, the only thing I knew about the disease was that my paternal grandmother had type-2 diabetes. I had no symptoms, but because I’m overweight, my gynae did a precautionary blood test. He’d advised me to lose the 27kg I’d put on during Gabriel’s pregnancy before trying for another child, but that hadn’t happened. So when GDM was confirmed, he put me on oral medication. He didn’t seem concerned and didn’t order any further tests, so I wasn’t too worried about the diagnosis. I did, however, watch my diet for the rest of the pregnancy and tried to limit my weight gain while trusting that the medication was doing its job. Six weeks after Aiden’s birth I had my second glucose test, which came back negative. I breathed a sigh of relief. The GDM had simply come and gone with the pregnancy! For the next couple of years, my husband Michael and I were happy with our two children. But last year I decided I wanted a third. I fell pregnant easily, but because my gynae was no longer practicing obstetrics I saw someone new. I was still carrying about 30kg of weight and when I mentioned the GDM, she told me she would monitor me closely to make sure it didn’t recur. Although I had no symptoms, my blood glucose came back high 26 weeks into the pregnancy. Again, I brushed it off and assumed that my gynae would simply give me the same medication I had taken during my previous pregnancy. However, she refused and immediately referred me to a diabetes management centre. I was shocked, but put it down to her being overly cautious because I was

pregnancy & birth

now five years older. The she explained to me exactly what could happen to my unborn child due to this diagnosis and I suddenly realised how serious this was. It was a big wake-up call when he told me that I needed to start listening to my body and focusing on preventing the development of type 2 diabetes at a later stage. My first appointment at the centre was with a registered dietician who explained what I should and shouldn’t eat to maintain the balanced nutritional intake that’s crucial to diabetes management and staying well. Once again, I was expecting a quick fix, but it turned into quite a journey and a team effort with me at the centre of it all. Next stop was a diabetes nurse educator who gave me a testing kit to use after every meal. These new kits are technology-driven and my educator monitored the data via an app. Within a

5-7% of women who develop GDM will develop type 2 diabetes within five years. That’s why routine followups are essential, – Fiona Prins. week, I was called back. After consulting with an endocrinologist, I started insulin therapy to control my blood glucose levels. I had felt tired and light-headed, and now realised it was because my blood glucose was too high. I became mindful of eating correctly, and it was amazing to see how the numbers changed. Gradually, my levels came under control. I also continued to exercise by swimming three times a week. The rest of my pregnancy went smoothly with constant monitoring by my gynae

and my diabetes management team. Although I wanted a natural birth after my previous emergency C-section, my gynae changed her mind at 32 weeks. Despite the disppointment, I trusted that she knew what was best for my child. I continued with treatment up until the day of Orah’s birth and was thrilled to discover that she was a perfect little girl. The nursing staff regularly reminded me to check my blood glucose levels during our time in hospital and, thankfully, they’ve been normal ever since. I realise that since I had GDM, I am now at risk of developing diabetes, so I’m doing my best to eat healthily and lose the weight. I have already lost 10kg. I believe my children and I had a lucky escape and I have learned a huge life lesson: when it comes to your health, no one else can do it for you. My body is my responsibility, so it’s up to me to take control and to do what I can to be well. l&l

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

9 MUST-KNOW FACTS ABOUT GESTATIONAL DIABETES ● According to Fiona Prins, Centre for Diabetes and Endocrinology (CDE) affiliated Diabetes Specialist Nurse Practitioner, GDM occurs when blood glucose levels rise abnormally during pregnancy without a diagnosis of diabetes pre-pregnancy. ● GDM affects about one in seven pregnancies, depending on the population group, with some populations having a higher risk. ● There are often no symptoms, so GDM is frequently only diagnosed at routine antenatal check-ups if the recommended screenings for gestational diabetes take place, or later in pregnancy (between 26 and 40 weeks) . ● Risk factors include repeated findings of glucose in the urine, a family history of diabetes in a first-degree relative, being obese pre-pregnancy (with a BMI of over 30), previous delivery of a large baby (more than 4.5kg) and a history of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). ● Type 1 diabetes occurs in about 1% of GDM cases and requires immediate insulin therapy, while many of those

diagnosed with type 2 diabetes can safely manage this condition with nutrition and oral medication. However, if these measures do not provide adequate control, insulin therapy will be needed. ● If GDM is not controlled, complications can occur for both mother and child. These include a higher risk of developmental abnormalities (especially if GDM is experienced in the first trimester), inappropriate weight gain resulting in an overweight or large baby (increasing the risk of complicated deliveries), prolonged labour and a higher risk of C-section delivery and pregnancy-induced hypertension. ● GDM should always be managed by a multidisciplinary team that includes a diabetologist, gynaecologist, paediatrician, dietician and diabetes nurse educator. ● Good nutrition forms an integral part of GDM management and the sooner the mom-to-be sees a dietician and starts to follow the suggested meal plan, the better the outcome will be.

● Some women with GDM will revert to normal glucose tolerance in the weeks following delivery, but with a high risk of developing type 2 diabetes in the future. In others, diabetes or some degree of dysglycemia (abnormal blood glucose) remains and lifestyle and pharmacological treatments should continue.

REDUCE YOUR POST-PREG ANCY DIABETES RN IS K To reduc

e your risk of deve loping type 2 diabetes aft er having GDM, it’s vital to continue longterm annual scree nings as well as following a prot ective lifestyle after birth. This inc ludes: ● Not smoking ● Making healthy and caloriecontrolled meal ch oices ● Being more ac tive than you were before the pr egnancy.

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PREGNANCY DIARIES

Thobeka Phanyeko catches up with three expectant moms to find out how they’re doing.

LIZELLE DE VILLIERS Lizelle is in her ﬁrst trimester and experiencing all the typical symptoms, but is managing them with a smile on her face.

My husband, Jonathan, our 13-year-old daughter, LizzonVanique, and I are so excited about the pregnancy. We found out four weeks ago, but have been waiting for this moment for a long time. We actually started buying baby stuff a few years ago, including the pram, which we bought five years ago. We have our first scan and see our miracle heartbeat – it’s so special and emotional. I’m struggling with nausea, vomiting, severe tiredness and headaches, but I’m going through it with a smile as our prayers have been answered. My husband is so happy that he uses every opportunity to tell anyone who cares to listen.

WEEK 9 My week starts with blood tests. Although it’s stressful for us, we understand that it’s just a routine test for Down’s syndrome. I’m not feeling too nauseous this week, and although I’m tired I’m struggling to sleep. When

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I do sleep, I have vivid and, sometimes, upsetting dreams. My sense of smell has also intensified and some food smells make me nauseous. I’m thinking about a “tatty teddy” theme for the nursery, but it’s not that easy to find items that fit. Luckily there’s still plenty of time, so hopefully I’ll eventually find what I am looking for.

PHOTOGRAPHY HEMA PATEL; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

WEEK 8

WEEK 10 My usually flat tummy has developed a little bulge. Although my clothes still fit perfectly, my husband even notices − he’s excited to see this physical evidence of our growing baby. I’m so tired that I’m actually brought to tears, but hopefully it will start subsiding soon. I should mention that this has been a hectic week – we’ve bought most of the items for the nursery, including a beautiful wooden sleigh cot.

WEEK 11 This week is going by quickly and I’m having to adjust to my growing tummy. It is a miracle to see that our baby is

getting bigger. I’m feeling nauseous again and l can’t wait for it to subside. Sleeping has become a real privilege and I’m getting frustrated that I have to wake up about eight times during the night to go to the toilet – although I limit my fluid intake before bed. We’re going for our 12 week check-up next week and then a 4D scan when I’m 13 weeks pregnant, which is when the sex of our baby will be revealed with 99% accuracy.

The first trimester’s comin g to an end. If ther e haven’t been any problems so far, chances are good that all will progress as expected.

THATO THATEDI Thato has now entered the third trimester of her twin pregnancy and despite a hospital scare, enjoys another baby shower.

PHOTOGRAPHY HEMA PATEL; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

WEEK 29 Just a few more weeks to go and I’m feeling scared and excited at the same time. I’m worried about how I’m going to cope, although I have a support structure in place. It’s funny how heavily pregnant women just want to pop, but the closer we get to our due date, we wish they’d stay in a little longer – or maybe it’s just me. I’m now getting so heavy that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to do household chores and other simple tasks. I get a bit frustrated, because I’m so used to doing things myself. I hate asking for help. Tshepo is constantly reminding me that I don’t have to do this alone. I’m really blessed to have him, especially because he’s so patient. I don’t know how he does it, but I guess that’s why I love him. I’m in slippers all the time, because my shoes don’t fit anymore; my hands and feet are so swollen that they hurt.

WEEK 30 I’m going in for a check-up and need to book my bed at the hospital, which is proving to be a mission as I refuse to pay to have my babies in a private hospital. It just doesn’t make sense considering that we have twins on the way and we still have plans for next year. But the public hospitals

You’ll notice th e rapid expansi on of your tumm y and your babie s’ stronger mov ements. Contractions m ay be noticed as you r uterus starts exercis ing for its “marathon ”. These contractions sh ouldn’t be too painful and may come and go. are reluctant to accept me since I have been consulting privately and so am not one of their patients. After pleading my case, I finally get assistance but am told that I need to be admitted to hospital for overnight observation because my heart rate is too high. I’m not worried, but the doctors are, so now I have to go home and pack a bag for the night. In the morning, doctors inform me that my heart rate is back to normal, and I’m sent home.

WEEK 31 My gut tells me that Tshepo and a friend are up to something and I’m right. Another baby shower, can

you believe it? I’m feeling so blessed – three baby showers for one pregnancy. God has blessed me with a great husband and friends.

WEEK 32 The hospital that was previously reluctant to assist has now booked me for an early C-section as allowing me to carry full-term could put the twins and myself in danger.

I’m not complaining, because I’m really uncomfortable and this heat is making me miserable every day and night – I don’t sleep at all. I’ve also been having terrible headaches. These kids are ready to come out and, quite frankly, I’m ready too. Even my firstborn bluntly asks when the babies are coming. She can’t wait to meet them.

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MAMPOTSE MOKGETLE The third trimester proves taxing for Mampotse, but it’s all worth it when she delivers two healthy baby girls!

Yay! I finally have my surprise baby shower and I definitely enjoy it. I should have seen it coming, because my sister-in-law invites us for dinner and a sleepover. I try hard to convince my partner that we shouldn’t go, but he’s adamant that we can’t disappoint her – much to my irritation, because I’m big and hot, and really just want to be as comfortable as possible. Now I realise that I couldn’t get out of the dinner because my friends and family were busy setting everything up at my house. Everything was perfect! I enjoyed myself and it was lovely seeing all my friends there. I don’t have much left to buy now and am grateful to all my friends and family for an awesome weekend.

WEEK 33 I visit my gynae on Monday, only to discover that I’m in labour. I am shocked, because I feel completely fine. I’m admitted to hospital to delay labour and end up spending the entire week there. I get to know and love the hospital staff. They tell me stories to encourage and reassure me that my twins will come out as perfect little beings! All I care about is that we don’t

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have a long stay in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).

WEEK 34 I’m being discharged today and after going into pre-term labour, I realise that I have to sort out all my maternity leave documents with HR and wrap everything up at work. I can’t get into bed or sit in the bath tub now that I’m home – I think it’s because all I did in hospital was sit in bed. I sleep on the chair in our sitting room, and even though it’s uncomfortable, it’s definitely better than the bed. I have to wait for my mom to come home before I can take a bath, because I just can’t do it alone anymore. When I drop something, I have to wait for someone to pick it up because I can’t even bend down.

WEEK 35 I go to work to finalise my leave documents with HR, but there’s no one. The worst thing happens on our way home – we drive past the shops to get some treats for me to eat while I’m at home, but I can’t lift my leg and fall on my side. We’re really scared, but I’m waiting for my appointment on Thursday because I don’t feel any pain. I’m excited to see my twinkles at the gynae appointment and on the way,

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

WEEK 32

pop in at work to see HR. To my surprise, there’s a baby shower waiting for me. My colleagues got me some nice gifts for the twins, and I’m really grateful for that. After the shower, my partner comes to fetch me and we head to the gynae. My blood pressure is very high, so I have no choice but to deliver my babies. I’m both excited and nervous going into this and my girls finally arrive! I’m proud to say that I’m a mom to two beautiful girls, named Tshegofatso and Mohau. I couldn’t be happier! l&l

Your twins are probably getting ready to move in to their final positi ons. Three quarters of all twins move h ead down, which mea ns that the mom co uld have a vaginal delivery. If your twins aren’t hea d down, talk to yo ur healthcare provid er.

COMPILED BY XANET VAN VUURDEN PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

TWO OUT OF THREE ABANDONED BABIES DIE IN SOUTH AFRICA New research by The National Adoption Coalition of SA (NACSA) into the incidence of child abandonment has revealed that the number of anonymous abandonment cases has increased, leaving little chance that these children will be reunited with their biological families. Reasons cited for this increase include a lack of support or social services for foreign mothers and that hospitals have improved their security and protocols around childbirth, making anonymous abandonment in hospitals unlikely. These findings have lead to the development of a new awareness campaign called Choose to Care. Using the creative concept of remembrance crosses that usually mark the place of a death due to road accident, these crosses will also be placed in spots where abandoned babies have been found. The crosses will feature posters to help guide those experiencing a crisis pregnancy to a nearby place of safety or baby home.

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Baby notes The latest research, news and products to help you raise a happy, healthy baby.

PREMATURE BABY’S LIFE SAVED BY DONATED BREAST MILK

Tayla Grace Christie was born via an emergency C-section at only 31 weeks. At birth, she was diagnosed with extreme intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR), a condition in which a baby’s growth slows or stops while in the womb. She weighed a mere 995g at birth and had to spend the first 75 days of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit. When Tayla’s mom was unable to produce enough colostrum, Tayla’s weight dropped to just 805g within a few days after birth. Donor colostrum and human milk

provided by Netcare from their Ncelisa human milk bank gave Tayla the much-needed boost to gain sufficient weight and, ultimately, survive. Produced by a mother in the initial days after birth, colostrum provides not only perfect nutrition tailored to the exact needs of a newborn, but also contains high concentrations of antibodies, which can destroy disease-causing bacteria and viruses. Baby Tayla was discharged from hospital in early September weighing a healthy 2.1kg.

FUN ON THE POTTY The new Dudu Anatomical Seat from CAM is a funny, dogshaped potty, with anatomic seats for better bowel evacuation, a backrest for those longer stays, support handles and an easy-to-clean, removable potty portion. Suitable from 12 months upwards, it even includes a turning badge to keep your little one entertained. Available at Hamleys and takealot.com for R700.

DID YOU KNOW? At birth, your baby’s stomach is only the size of a cherry and can handle around 5ml of ﬂuid at a time, making it normal for babies to spit up milk often.

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Reflex reaction You may be amazed by your baby’s jerky movements after birth, but rest assured they are essential for his development. By Sister Burgie Ireland

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FROM BIRTH Reflexes are carefully monitored during your baby’s first year. Your healthcare professional will take note of how strong and consistent these reflexes are and make sure that they’re unilateral (the same on both sides of the body). Your baby’s reflexes will be checked as soon as he has recovered from the birth. At this early stage, the most important are: ● Tonic neck or “fencing” reflex (this helps to develop muscle tone) ● Grasping (hand) and plantar (foot) reflex ● Rooting, sucking and swallowing reflexes – these are essential for feeding ● Moro or “fright” reflex ● “Stepping” reflex.

DID Y

baby & toddler NOW? UK O A NEWBORN BABY’S CRIES ARE A REFLEX REACTION TO ANYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE.

PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

OTHER PRIMITIVE REFLEXES A newborn is a bundle of reflexes – even his first smile is a reflex. After a few months, when the baby’s brain recognises people he has learned to trust, this reflex is replaced with a genuine smile. Another reflex is the tonic (tight) foetal position that’s strong in the first few weeks of life and makes it difficult to dress your baby and change his nappy. Newborns prefer to keep their legs and arms tightly curled the way they were in the confines of the womb. Subconsciously, this is a reflex we hold onto for life and use when we sleep, are stressed, or to shield ourselves when physically attacked. As your newborn gains confidence in the world around him, he learns to relax and uncurl – especially at bath time when the warm water reminds him of the amniotic fluid of the womb. We use reflexes, like shielding our eyes from the sun or blocking our ears when there is a sudden, loud noise without thinking about it. Indirectly, all 70 of the known reflexes tell us how well the brain is working, and some reflexes like blinking, coughing, sneezing and gagging are for life. Newborn reflexes are called primitive or survival reflexes and when these disappear during the first year, they’re replaced by secondary, or postural, reflexes. Developing secondary reflexes is an important part of your baby’s milestones and are a good sign that the connections between your baby’s brain and moving body parts are working as they should be. If your baby’s primitive reflexes don’t disappear, or take longer to fade (especially if the pregnancy was complicated, or the birth was premature or traumatic), this can mean poor connections to the brain. Brain-stimulating exercises and physiotherapy can help to minimise longterm learning and life-skill difficulties.

SECONDARY REFLEXES RETAINED REFLEXES These are deliberate movements that are the stepping stones of cognitive thinking, learning and independence. A good example is the grasping reflex that your baby loses around the age of four months – about the same time that he starts to do push-ups during tummy time. If your baby’s fists are tightly closed, known as the palmer reflex, he can’t use his hands to support himself. Losing this reflex also helps babies to reach out and grab objects. By a year, your baby will be able to use his thumb and index finger. And once he has mastered these skills, the next step will be throwing his toys out his cot. From about four months, the Moro reflex (when your baby feels like he is falling and throws out his arms and legs suddenly before bringing them back in again) will begin to disappear so your baby can sit by six month. Around this time, your baby also develops the parachute reflex and spontaneously puts his arms out to correct his balance. This gives him the confidence to stand and, ultimately, walk. The fencing reflex (asymmetric tonic neck reflex with one hand up to the ear and the other arm extended out in the direction that the head is turned) needs to disappear by six months so your baby can learn to crawl. Babies also can’t learn to walk unless the stepping reflex has disappeared, which involves your baby taking steps forward although he is unable to support his own weight.

“Retained reflexes” is the new buzz phrase for children with learning difficulties at school. Once labelled “lazy” or “clumsy”, children with these symptoms may have retained some of their primitive reflexes, which are now interfering with their mental and physical development. For example: ● Children with writing, reading and comprehension problems may have some degree of retained Asymmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex (ATNR). ● Those who struggle with posture and have poor hand-eye coordination may have retained Symmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex (STNR), which facilitates the separation of body movements between the upper and lower half of the body. ● Children with poor memory skills who struggle with motion sickness, tire easily, and don’t like loud noises may have remnants of the Moro reflex. ● Those who have a tendency to walk on their toes and are weak at ball skills may have retained Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex (TLR), which is the opposite of STNR. ● Children diagnosed as hyperactive could have some retained Spinal Galant Reflex (while lying on his stomach, a newborn will twist his body to the side on which pressure is applied to his back). l&l

Go to livingandloving.co.za and click on Baby then General Articles for a list of eight newborn reflexes.

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Three times the fun! The mommy blogger at Ellie Love Blog, Caley Rosenberg, created a fun, geometric space for her third baby girl with the help of her best friend. By Cheska Stark

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baby & toddler

I love to work with a professional as I enjoy having a second opinion. There are also great beneﬁts of having someone with the necessary contacts. A good friend of mine, Kirsty Brunskill, is the creative mastermind behind Lindley & Co Interiors, and she just gets me. I love to work on colours and ideas myself, but Kirsty has a great eye for décor and helped me pull it all together and source the items – she did all the hard work. Knowing that this would be the last nursery we designed and put together, and our last room to cherish baby memories in, we put our heart and soul into it. This was also the ﬁrst time that we knew the gender of our baby, so we were able to decorate with a little girl in mind.

PHOTOGRAPHY BRON VEALE - VANILLA PHOTOGRAPHY, KIRSTY BRUNSKILL - LINDLEY & CO INTERIORS

The wallpaper was our starting point for this nursery. The inspiration came from vinyl wall stickers I saw on Pinterest and Kirsty then worked on a custom wallpaper design in our preferred colours. We used soft pinks and then yellows in our other daughters’ nurseries with no focal points. I wanted something different this time. The most useful thing in the nursery would be the compactum. We had

it made to fit our requirements – there’s a big top space for the changing mat, heater, essential toiletries and the baby bath. We also chose a design that will allow us to use the compactum as a dresser when Zoe outgrows her nursery. My favorite part of the nursery would be… the feeding chair and the functionality of each décor item. The chair was bought for our first daughter and I recovered it for each new baby to suit the nursery. This chair could tell a thousand stories and holds so many precious memories – sleepless nights of rocking, the cuddles of a sick baby, the tears of a sleep-deprived mom and evening routines of feeding of a newborn, saying prayers and kisses goodnight. I also love that each item in the room has a purpose – from the feeding chair, changing mat, woven baskets, play gym and even the faux-fur rug that we play on and use as a great backdrop for photos. When designing a nursery, remember... that you’ll be spending plenty of time in the room, so fill it with beautiful things that you love. Good storage, space and somewhere calm and cosy for your sweet baby to relax are essentials. l&l

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A SENSITIVE ISSUE One in five babies is extra-sensitive. What if yours is one of them? hey are our future artists, authors, and therapists. They are kind, caring, empathetic, and make brilliant brothers and sisters. Who are these wonderkids? They are our sensitive children. American experts have recently recognised that some children are more sensitive than others, with about one in five babies thought to be highly sensitive. “From the moment your baby is born, his temperament is decided,” explains clinical

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psychologist Dr Samantha Rodman, herself a highly sensitive person and a clinical psychologist based in Maryland in the US. “A sensitive baby will be looking around more than other infants of a similar age, be more alert and less easily soothed.” Most of the research surrounding sensitive babies and children has been carried out by Dr Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person. During her research, she found that 20% of people are genetically sensitive, and she coined

the phrase “highly sensitive child”. “It is an inborn temperament or style,” she explains. “They have a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react. This makes them grasp subtle changes, reflect deeply before acting, and behave conscientiously. They are also easily overwhelmed by high levels of stimulation, sudden changes, and the emotional distress of others.” Samantha explains that this high level of sensitivity makes for wonderful, unique individuals as they grow into

baby & toddler

toddlers. “They are artistic, creative, loving, empathic, deep thinkers, detail-oriented, perceptive, intuitive and independent. Sensitive toddlers love babies and animals, because they are helpless. They always root for the underdog, as they can really empathise and feel bad for those who are not as strong or competent as others, or who are not easily understood.” Even before your baby can talk, you might start to get hints that he is sensitive. Telltale signs are if he loves physical contact and wants to be held all the time, is hugely affectionate and devoted to you, and can be full of giggles. On the downside, when he is unhappy, he might get more upset than you would expect. “They feel more deeply than other babies,” says Samantha. “When upset, they’ll be more upset than average. When happy, they’ll be happier than average. Everything is extreme.” Another indication is how he reacts to physical things. Due to his highly aware nervous system, a sensitive baby often reacts strongly to physical input, such as new feelings or noises. He can also get upset by new people, or by his routine being changed. Jerome Kagan, Professor of Psychology at Harvard University, has studied infants and young children who appear sensitive. He has found that the areas of the brain that detect danger are unusually reactive and alert, so anything out of the normal routine can be seen as threatening. According to Samantha, all of us fall somewhere on the “sensitive spectrum”. Some babies are fine at a fireworks display at six months, while others are inconsolable if a dog barks in the street. Some are happy to wing it on a day out in town, while others will be devastated if their lunch is two minutes later than usual. “A pre-verbal infant can be inconsolable over a wet nappy,” says Samantha. “If he won’t take a bottle and you’ve tried 15 types of teats, if he has to sleep with a favourite teddy, if he cries

when you raise your voice – these are signs you have a sensitive baby.” So, how do you help a sensitive baby enjoy life – even if he finds some things more upsetting than you’d expect? “It’s up to you as the parent on how far you go to make his world comfortable,” says Samantha. “I’d say for a young baby, do everything he needs: change his nappy more often, cut out the labels in his babygros, don’t make him wear socks if he doesn’t like them. Look at your baby and try to recognise what upsets him and try to avoid that. When it comes to weaning, you may find he struggles with different foods and textures. If you’re comfortable doing it, let him eat the same purée every day if that’s all he’ll have.” It’s important, however, to ensure that you don’t give a sensitive child everything he wants, or he may find life difficult as he gets older. “If he won’t wear his raincoat because he doesn’t like the feel of it on his skin, then explain that is fine, but it means he can’t go out in the rain. You are trying to teach your child that, yes, he is sensitive, but the world doesn’t stop because of that,” says Samantha. Try not to turn simple things like this into a battleground. If you believe your toddler is extra-sensitive, try to be understanding when he gets upset, instead of shouting or punishing him. It’s likely he will calm down quicker with a cuddle than if he is put on the naughty step. Encourage other people to be understanding, too. “If you’re at playgroup and your child is crying because it’s too loud, don’t make up excuses that he’s tired or hungry,” says Samantha. “Instead, say your child is sensitive and doesn’t like loud noises. No one is going to criticise.”

WORDS LOUISA PRITCHARD/PAN MEDIA PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Look forward to the extra cuddles that will come your way.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, either. Sensitive children can present extra challenges, but they just need a little more understanding. There is such a huge upside to having a sensitive child, so just look forward to all the extra giggles and cuddles that will come your way! l&l

YOUR TODDLER MAY BE HIGHLY SENSITIVE IF: ● He responds strongly when others cry. “He has a strong emotional sensitivity to others and their feeling,” says Samantha. ● He is extremely careful. “Sensitive children are usually very cautious, so if he does something adventurous, respond positively and encourage him.” ● He is selective about what he will wear. “If your toddler will only wear shorts, that’s fine, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his life.” ● He responds better to positive reinforcement. “Praise him when he does something good, instead of always telling him off. Sticker charts are also a good idea and work from a young age.” ● He prefers quiet play. “A sensitive infant is very observant and intuitive and can get overwhelmed at a busy playgroup.” Sound familiar? If your answer is yes, then take the “Is Your Child Highly Sensitive?” test at hsperson.com.

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JUMP IN Looking forward to making a splash with your baby in the pool, but nervous about his first lesson? This insight from our expert will help ease your anxiety…

our baby is accustomed t o water, because she spent months in amniotic ﬂuid while in your tummy, so water is a naturally nurturing environment for her. Gina Belli, owner of Little Ducks Swim School and a professional swimming instructor with the Professional Baby Swimming Teachers Association (PBSTA) explains that not only is water fantastic for your baby’s physical and social development, it also teaches her water safety. “By giving your baby the chance to exercise, you’ll be helping her muscle development and general fitness, while laying down habits that will help her grow into a fit, healthy adult,” she says.

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OUR EXPERT ANSWERS YOUR NIGGLING QUESTIONS... WHAT’S THE PERFECT AGE TO INTRODUCE MY BABY TO SWIMMING? In South Africa, we start babies from six months but there’s no perfect age. Regardless of age, the sooner your child starts in a swimming programme the better, as drowning is the second highest accidental death amongst children in South Africa. If you start your baby earlier than six months, it would be advisable to try and keep her first few visits relatively short; start with 10 minutes and build up to around 20 minutes until your baby is comfortable in the water and with the teacher.

WILL THE POOL BE WARM ENOUGH FOR MY BABY? Pool temperatures should be at 32˚C (even during winter) for a comfortable swimming lesson. A closed pool environment is preferable during winter. HOW CAN I GET INVOLVED? If you continue to sing the songs that are used for certain movements in the pool, your baby will connect the two and respond in good time. Continue to practice with your baby outside of swim school, as repetition is the best way for your child to learn. This can also be done at home in the bath by placing your baby on her back, placing your hands and arms gently under her head and body, and letting her float with her ears submerged. If

baby & toddler

TOP TIPS FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY SWIMMING EXPERIENCE

WORDS THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

she becomes distressed, then sit her upright and try again a little later. WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO EASE MY BABY INTO THIS NEW ENVIRONMENT? Remember to be patient with your little one as she is facing many new challenges in her life at this stage. Baby lessons are all introduced by nursery rhymes, to soothe your baby during the beginning stages. Hold your baby securely close to your body in the pool and gently wash water over her body, progressing to sprinkling it gently over the back of her head and, eventually, her face. While holding your baby, move around slowly with your shoulders under the water and feet firmly on the pool floor. Smile and communicate with your little one by making eye contact and reassuring her that she’s safe with you.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF LEARNING TO SWIM AT A YOUNG AGE? The more opportunities you can give your child to burn off some energy, the happier she’ll be. You’ll probably find that your little one will be more alert, with better eating and sleeping patterns. Swimming develops your baby’s coordination, allowing her to move independently long before she is able to crawl or walk. This contributes to gross- and fine-motor skills development and improves the function of the skeletal muscles. HOW MUCH WILL IT COST? Prices differ, but ranging from about R450 to about R600 per month for a 20 to 30 minute lesson, twice a week.

● Make sure that the pool area is closed or covered with a safety net when not in use. ● Teach your child respect and safety in and around water, without causing her to fear it. ● Be natural and relaxed and offer plenty of praise. ● Keep moving to give your baby different sensations and exercise different muscles as babies have a strong sense of touch and love the feeling of water. ● Hold your baby’s favourite toy out of reach and she will try and grasp or chase it – flick it across the pool. ● Play games such as peek-aboo, or blow bubbles on the water’s surface or below as you move around the pool. ● Play with your baby in the water by swishing her back and forth in zigzag motions, and offer lots of cuddles and chit chat. ● Be confident and patient and, most of all, have fun! l&l

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FUN

UFF FOR ST

s d i k

NTH

O IS M

Splish splash

In the pool or in the sea, your little one will look just adorable in one of these swimsuits. 7 8 6

1. Dolphin swim shorts, R160, Woolworths 2. Baby boy swimming nappy, R220, justjump.co.za 3. Two piece Hello Kitty swimsuit, R89.95, Ackermans 4. Frozen two piece swimsuit, R119.95, Ackermans 5. Halter swimsuit, R119.99, Mr Price 6. Tankini, R119.99, Mr Price 7. Full zip-up long sleeve swim suit, R350, justjump.co.za 8. Pirate sun suit with UPF50+, R199, beberuth.co.za

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COMPILED BY KIRSTEN DAVIDS PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED, HEMA PATEL, GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK. PRICES CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRINT

10 11 9

14 12

L t hisove !

15 16 17

9. Polyotter ﬂoat suit, R449, sportsmanswarehouse.co.za 10. Minnie Mouse costume, R89.95, Ackermans 11. Unicorn and rainbow swimsuit, R179, H&M 12. Shark patterned swimming trunks, R149, H&M 13. Spotted halter bather, R399, Country Road 14. Minion T-shirt with UPF50, R249, H&M 15. Floral Sun suit with UPF50+, R199, beberuth.co.za 16. Off-the-shoulder swimsuit, R119.99, Mr Price 17. Fruit and ﬂamingo frilled bikini, R229, H&M

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 35

& Our experts answer your burning questions.

WHO’S YOUR FRIEND? Q My child has an imaginary friend. Why does she need one and how do I handle the situation?

Having an imaginary friend during childhood is common and usually not a cause for concern. Children often create imaginary playmates as a way to express their unique and magical world. Imaginary friends may be personified objects, like a teddy bear, doll or blanket that can play and talk, or they can be invisible friends. The creation of imaginary friends usually peaks between the ages of three and eight, and often tapers off by the age of nine.

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Some of the reasons why children have imaginary friends include: ● Boredom or loneliness. Imaginary friends are often created by eldest or only children. ● They often serve selfsoothing functions and can help the child cope during periods of stress, anxiety or extreme change. ● Imaginary friendships assist the child in processing what is going on around them. More often than not, an imaginary friend has positive effects. These include: ● Enabling the child to practise social skills in an environment they can control, ● Aiding exploration and

encouraging ideas. ● Allowing the child to gain a sense of competence through learning from, or taking care of, the imaginary friend, trying out different roles and thinking abstractly. ● Heightening creativity and improving vocabulary. ● Encouraging adultlike conversations. My advice is to relax and enjoy it as pretend play is critical for brain development. Ask questions to find out more about your child’s friend as this might give valuable insight into her interests, wishes, fears or concerns. It’s reasonable to set limits if the imaginary friend becomes too demanding or disruptive.

However, don’t be overly challenging. For example, there may be certain social functions that the friend can’t attend, and you certainly don’t want to have to cook for a friend who is never going to eat. Your child may also blame her imaginary friend in order to avoid punishment or consequences and it’s appropriate to be firm and uphold the household rules in this case. Also note that research has shown that most children know that their friend is imaginary. − Wendeka Leisewitz, Clinical psychologist and family/divorce mediator (child consultant)

baby & toddler

Itchyhead Q

My son scratches his head when he is tired and now has sores on his scalp. What should I do?

question

A GRAVE Q

I have Graves’ disease and am now pregnant. Is there a speciﬁc diet I should follow?

COMPILED BY KIRSTEN DAVIDS PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Graves’ disease poses certain pregnancy risks to you and your baby, so it’s imperative that you go for regular blood tests and follow your doctor’s orders. In addition, a specific diet should be followed. In hyperthyroidism, the thyroid produces too much of certain thyroid hormones and too little of others − it’s a disorder of an overactive, rather than underactive, thyroid. This means your metabolism is working overtime, making the risk of weight loss a problem. Therefore, it’s important to eat regularly and to consume enough calories to keep your weight climbing. The thyroid gland is stimulated by the mineral iodine, so one of the main objectives is to keep your iodine intake as low as possible. FOODS THAT SHOULD BE LIMITED OR AVOIDED INCLUDE: ● Iodised salt (noniodised salt is fine). ● Dairy products (most animal feed contains iodine, which can

affect dairy milk). ● Fish, shellfish, seaweeds, kelp, sardines and canned tuna. If you do eat fish, do so in moderation and choose fresh-water options. ● Processed meats, including bacon, cold meats and sausages, as these are high in salt. ● Other highly salted food, such as canned soups, tomato sauce, salted peanut butter and commercial salad dressings. ● Pretzels, chips, corn chips and crackers. ● Tea, coffee, chocolate and any caffeinated products should be avoided. ● Sugar, as well as fried and processed foods can worsen auto-immunity, so these should be kept to the bare minimum or avoided altogether. Chicken, lean red meats, legumes, vegetables (especially greens) and fruits can be enjoyed. − Ashleigh Caradas, dietician

It is always difficult to give advice about skin problems without seeing the condition. The scratch marks on your son’s scalp may merely be inflamed and red, or they could be infected, in which case they would appear crusty, or even pustular, due to impetigo [a bacterial skin infection]. If the lesions appear to be only mildly infected, treatment with a topical antibiotic cream should suffice. However, if they are numerous, if there is a wide area of red, inflamed skin around each one, or if your son has a raised temperature, then an oral antibiotic might be necessary in addition to the topical cream. If this is the case, I would recommend that he be seen by a doctor. When children are awake and distracted by everything going on at home, crèche or school, they tend to ignore minor discomforts or irritations. But when tired, these minor discomforts start to feel more prominent and a child may only then start to complain, scratch or grab at the specific body area involved. In order to prevent him from scratching his scalp, it’s important to consider whether there is an underlying skin condition that makes him want to scratch. Scalp conditions like seborrheic dermatitis, eczema, contact dermatitis, or even nits, should be considered before assuming that he just scratches his head out of habit when he is tired. Keeping your son’s nails short will go a long way to help minimise the trauma to his scalp. You could try putting mittens or socks on his hands when he starts scratching, and create a distraction when he is tired or sleepy, like giving him a special toy to hold or reading to him as he falls asleep. − Dr Deon Smith, paediatrician l&l

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g n i d e e f t s a e r B beyond infancy

You feel an instant connection to your baby when she latches onto your breast for the first time, but before you know it you’re wondering if it’s time to wean her…

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he beneﬁts of breast milk are many, and it’s encouraging to know that your body produces the best source of nutrition for your little one – especially in the ﬁrst few months of her life. As a mom, you derive joy from being able to provide the best for your little one, and you wish to keep doing so for as long as possible. But, breastfeeding moms will tell you that, at some point, they’ve all been faced with the decision to stop breastfeeding or continue. This expert advice will shed some light on weaning your baby from the breast. Lactation specialist and childbirth educator Samantha Crompton recommends exclusively breastfeeding for the first six months, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to the age of two and beyond. She says it’s not mandatory to wean your child off breast milk as soon as she starts on solids, because even though her nutritional needs are changing, this still remains a personal decision. Johannesburg-based Lactation Consultant Laura Sayce affirms that you and your little one will continue to benefit greatly from an extended breastfeeding relationship, and notes that the World Health Organization (WHO) does not put an upper limit on breastfeeding and their recommendation is that it should continue for as long as it’s “mutually agreeable”. This means weaning happens when you and your baby are ready. “In some instances, this only happens during the fourth or fifth year of your baby’s life,” notes Laura.

baby & toddler Pros of prolonged breastfeeding

DID Y O U ONLY 32% OF BABIES UNDER SIX MONTHS ARE BEING BREASTFED IN SOUTH AFRICA.

The downside Christelle notes that even though breastfeeding is fantastic for babies, a study has discovered that nursing a child past two years of age can lead to tooth decay. The more frequently a mother breastfeeds her child during the day past 24 months old, the more the risk of severe early tooth decay increases, researchers say. According to William Bowen, Professor Emeritus in the Centre for Oral Biology at the University of Rochester Medical Centre in New York, “There are two aspects of breastfeeding – the actual human milk, which has some, but very little, ability to promote tooth decay, the second is the physical aspect of breastfeeding, or even bottle feeding, and that’s where the problem arises.” He explains that saliva helps to break down bacteria, but when your little one sucks on your breast, her teeth are sealed off, which prevents

W KNO ?

Studies by WHO reveal that breastfeeding substantially lowers the risk of death from infectious diseases in the first two years of life. Our experts agree that breast milk continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection. “Studies show that the longer and more frequently a mom nurses, the smarter the child is likely to become. The brain grows more during the first two years of life than at any other time, and the fats that are unique to breast milk contribute to this,” says Samantha. The physical benefits include improved vision, low incidence of ear infections, and improved functioning of the immune system. Samantha adds that there are also benefits to you, which include the reduced risk of uterine, ovarian and breast cancers. There’s also a lower incidence of osteoporosis later in life. “In fact, breastfeeding for three years or more reduces the risk of breast cancer in the mother by 94% – what a great reward,” adds Laura. Understanding the benefits of breast milk usually leads to prolonged breastfeeding. Although your baby’s need for milk will begin to decrease over time, your breast milk will continue to strengthen her immune system and breastfeeding will meet her need for emotional security. “Your baby still gets a large percentage of her nutrient requirements from breast milk, and continues to receive immunity from breast milk, protecting her and helping her recover faster from illness,” says Laura. She notes that breastfeeding helps with bonding – even as your child gets bigger. “For working moms, breastfeeding helps her transition from a working woman to a mom. She kicks off her heels as she walks in the door, latches her baby and reconnects with her little one,” she adds. Family Psychologist Christelle du Plessis agrees that not only does breast milk have nutritional benefits; it also creates comfort, closeness and promotes bonding between mom and baby.

saliva from reaching her teeth. Limiting the amount of time she spends on the nipple is one way around this, especially if she’s accustomed to breastfeeding throughout the night, and be sure to clean her teeth often. Scheduling a visit to the dentist before she turns one is also highly recommended. Some physicians fear that prolonged breastfeeding will interfere with your child’s appetite for solid food, but Samantha points out that there is little evidence to support this.

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baby & toddler

Laura reassures that, most of the time, you will just know when you’re ready, and some of the signs include nursing aversion, which is when you feel frustrated and irritable when your baby latches. “But if you’re considering weaning and cry every time you think about it – maybe you’re not ready,” she says. If you’ve been breastfeeding for a minimum of nine to 18 months, the emotional bond that you’ve built with your baby will make it hard to commit to wean her off the breast. She explains that this is not an easy decision to make, “because breastfeeding also becomes an amazing parenting tool and can fix nearly anything, like congested sinuses and bumped knees, by soothing an unhappy baby with the breast,” she says. “Some moms enjoy the ease of putting a baby or toddler to sleep on the breast and don’t want the ‘hassle’ of teaching their baby new techniques,” she adds. If fear is holding you back from making a decision, Christelle explains that there is nothing to worry about. “Weaning your child off the breast doesn’t mean the end of your intimate bond, it just means that nourishing and nurturing her will now happen in different ways,” she says. The timing is also very important, so weaning your baby when there are major changes happening is not ideal. This is a sensitive time for both of you, so take your time.

When your baby won’t let go Laura reassures that it’s normal for your child to show some resistance to weaning, because she will associate breastfeeding with comfort and security – not just milk. “Many babies also use the breast to go to sleep. There is nothing wrong with this, it’s the way nature intended babies to go to sleep,” she says. Our experts reiterate that both you and your child should be ready to wean, and it should not be done simply because society and your family say you should.

EXPERT WEANING TIPS When you and your baby are both ready, keep these tips from Christelle in mind for a smoother transition. ● Make it an event! Take your child with you to buy a few new cups and let her know it’s because she’s a big girl now. Explain that breast milk is only for babies and she is no longer a baby. ● Start by skipping a feed every few days and offering the cup. ● Be patient, and remember that you now have a big girl who needs to know that you believe in her. ● Reduce breastfeeding time to about five minutes only. ● Keep her stimulated by reading a story or play a game with her instead. ● Once you start this process, don’t give up! If you do, it will just confuse your child as it will send mixed messages.

NIGHT-WEANIN G TIPS

● Read your ch ild a story and make sure that she un derstands that it’s time for sleep , and give her lots of cuddles before sleep. ● When she wa kes at night, co nsider holding your ba by without feed ing her. ● If she fusses , allow her five sucks and reduce it ea ch time. ● Explain to he r that she is no w a big girl and that yo ur milk is going away. ● Give as man y cuddles as yo u can without brea stfeeding. ● Don’t pressu re your baby – she’ll notice that you desper ately want her to wean and will cling to the breast even more.

Just the two of us Conversations among moms reveal that there’s no average age for weaning off the breast and that uncomfortable stares are no reason to stop breastfeeding. “Children left to self-wean usually do so when they are between two and a half and three years old. This is ideal as you know that your child is ready. Weaning is often done at around 12 months in Western societies, but this is usually due to external reasons,” concludes Samantha. Ultimately, it’s about making a decision that will benefit both you and your baby. l&l

Go to livingandloving. co.za and click on Baby then Breastfeeding to read more about the benefits of extended breastfeeding.

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WORDS THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Are you ready?

competition

Justine turns 44! WIN ONE OF SIX JUSTINE HAMPERS WORTH R5 276. his year, Justine celebrates its 44th birthday – a milestone we could not have reached without you, our beautiful customers! Your belief in, and love of, our products has taken us from humble beginnings to a nationally recognised brand. From the beginning, it has been our aim to bring South Africans quality products born out of the combination of science and nature. Our vision is to provide products designed to deliver visible results to customers who live in the harsh South African climate through products formulated on par with the best international brands in the world. To say thank you, and in celebration of our birthday, we has teamed up with Living and Loving to give you the chance to win one of six amazing Justine hampers. For more information on Justine products, visit justine.co.za or call 0860 10 23 45. l&l

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

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1 The first correct entry/ies randomly drawn will win the prize/s. 2 Winners will be notified telephonically and/or will receive written confirmation. 3 The prize is non-transferable, nor can it be exchanged for cash. 4 No sponsors, PR advertising agencies, employees of Caxton or their families may enter. 5 The judges’ decision is final. 6 The competition closes on 30 November 2017. 7 Unclaimed prizes won’t be resent. 8 See Standard Terms & Conditions on pg. 3. *Prize details correct at time of print.

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PRODUCT WATCH Help keep your newly mobile baby safe with these great products.

Wrist Link

My Buddy Tag

4akid.co.za, R249

Honeybunch.co.za, R699

Your toddler’s growing independence means that he won’t always want to hold your hand when walking in crowded places. The Wrist Link allows your little one to walk on his own, while you feel secure knowing you’re still in contact with him. The spring stretches to 1.8m and the double-layer Velcro wristband will make it difficult for your child to remove it. The material stretches for comfort and it is quick and easy to attach.

This wristband is worn by your child and connects to your phone via Bluetooth. The wristband is screwed on so that your child can’t remove it. It has multiple functions, including an alert that will go off when your child is outside the pre-set parameters. There is also a panic button for your child to press if he needs help while the water-safety feature sets off an alarm if the wristband is submerged in water for longer than 10 seconds.

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Non-slip bath mat with temperature indicator Maxi-kidz. myshopify.com, R250 This mat can be placed in the shower or bath as both a non-slip surface and water temperature indicator. It is made from soft foam and the 82 suction cups keep it secured to the bottom of the bath. The temperature indicator will show you when the water is above the recommended 37°C.

baby & toddler

Go to livingandloving.co.za and click on Family Time, then Safety Guide for the ultimate child safety checklist.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

COMPILED BY KIRSTEN DAVIDS PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/ GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK. PRICES CORRECT AT THE TIME OF GOING TO PRINT

Remember, there is no more effective safety device than a vigilant caregiver. However, these products will help turn your home into a safer, more child-friendly environment and add to your peace of mind.

Car Strap Clip 4akid.co.za, R59 Toddlers are the ultimate escape artists, but your tot will be no match for the Car Strap Clip. Once your little one is securely strapped into his car seat, attach the Car Strap Clip to the straps across your little one’s chest, keeping them together with no wiggle room. These straps are not a life-saving device, but serve to prevent your child from taking his arms out of the straps.

It is best to walk through your home, room by room, to identify any potential risks – and don’t forget to investigate your outdoor spaces, too. Once any problem areas have been identified, consider how you will deal with them. Can you remove it, is there something that you can do to fix it, or does

it require you to buy something like plug covers and door locks? Toddlers are surprisingly observant, so try to avoid letting your little one see how safety devices work. Before you know it, he will have mastered the art of opening the baby gate.

Dreambaby Liberty Doorway Gate

Mommy, I’m Here

Netbaby.co.za, R955

This gadget consists of a keychain for you and a bear-shaped receiver that can be placed on your child’s wrist, ankle or shoe. When you’re outdoors or in a shopping centre and you can’t see your child, just press the alarm on your keychain to activate it. You can then locate your child from the sound of the alarm. You will also be alerted if your child has ventured 3 to 10m away from you (depending on how you set the device). l&l

This extra-wide gate opens in both directions and while you will be able to open it with one hand, it is completely childproof. Installation is quick and easy, and the gate is pressure mounted making it easy to move around your home with no damage to walls or paint since no drilling is required. It’s suitable for the top and bottom of stairs, or to keep your little one out of a potentially hazardous areas.

Takealot.com, R209

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Between four and six months, your baby will start to show an interest in your food, indicating he is ready to start solids. Why not try these modern flavour combinations?

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Sweet potato custard Makes 1 cup YOU WILL NEED 1 unpeeled sweet potato, washed and sliced in half lengthways 1 stick cinnamon Breast milk or full-cream milk METHOD ● Preheat the oven to 200ºC and line a roasting pan with baking paper. ● Place sweet potato halves and cinnamon stick in the pan and cover with tinfoil. Roast for about 25 minutes or until cooked. Remove the tinfoil and roast for a few more minutes. ● Discard the cinnamon stick and scoop the sweet potato flesh out of the skin. Purée and add milk until it is the consistency of custard.

Tip: The cinnamon ﬂavour and texture of sweet potato can be tricky for “slow-to-warm-up” babies.

Banana and date yoghurt Makes 1 cup YOU WILL NEED 1 banana, peeled and sliced 2 dates, pitted ½ cup full-cream plain yoghurt METHOD ● Blend banana, date and yoghurt together until smooth ● The sweet and creamy flavour of this recipe is a great starter food for all babies.

Chicken, beetroot and banana purée Makes 2 cups

YOU WILL NEED 1 chicken breast 2 whole beetroots, peeled and chopped 2 ripe bananas, peeled and chopped

Tip:

METHOD ● In a stovetop or microwave steamer, steam the chicken and beetroot for 15-20 minutes or until the chicken is cooked and the beetroot is soft.

Combining banana, which lines the gut, and beetroot, which is a mild laxative, helps your baby to digest the complex proteins in chicken.

Apple, pear and avo purée Makes ½ cup “Social butterﬂies” and “settled babies” will enjoy the tart ﬂavour of the lemon in this fruit purée. YOU WILL NEED 1 pink or red apple, peeled and grated (or finely chopped) 1 pear, peeled and finely chopped 1 avocado, peeled and finely chopped ½ tsp lemon juice METHOD ● Pour 1-2cm water into a small

pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and steam the apple and pear in a silicone or metal basket steamer for 3-5 minutes, or until soft. ● Mash fruit together with the avocado flesh using a fork, or purée for a smoother texture. Stir in lemon juice.

Tip: Apples and pears are a lovely way to prevent constipation in the ﬁrst few weeks of solids. Mix them with some avocado to help balance the sugars.

Tropical fruit purée Makes 1 cup Every now and then it’s great to use raw ingredients in a purée, as there as some nutrients that do best without any heat. YOU WILL NEED 2 papayas, peeled, seeded and chopped 1 mango, peeled, pitted and chopped ¼ cup coconut cream METHOD ● Blend the fruit and the coconut cream with a stick blender or in a food processor. ● Alternatively, if you prefer to mash it by hand, substitute the mango for another papaya and mash with a fork.

baby & toddler

TAKE YOUR CUE FROM YOUR BABY

Berry and banana smoothie Makes 1 cup Most babies will love this ﬂavour combination if the fruits are well ripened. YOU WILL NEED ½ cup fresh or frozen berries ½ banana, peeled and chopped 1/ 3 cup full-cream Greek yoghurt METHOD ● Defrost the berries on the kitchen counter for two hours or in the fridge overnight. Do not heat them. ● Purée the defrosted berries with the banana and yoghurt until smooth. This smoothie can be frozen, as long as you do so right away.

Tip:

RECIPES WEANING SENSE BY MEG FAURE AND KATH MEGAW (QUIVERTREE PUBLICATIONS) PHOTOGRAPHY CRAIG FRASER STYLING CAROLINE GARDNER

Vitamin C is denatured when exposed to heat, so it’s best to use raw sources of it. Fresh berries are an excellent option.

Every baby weans in a different way, according to parenting experts Kath Megaw (paediatric dietician) and Meg Faure (occupational therapist) in their new book, Weaning Sense. Some gregariously embrace new flavours, others get bored with bland rice cereal, some gag on solids even when textures are smooth, and others prefer to self-feed and simply won’t accept food off a spoon. Your baby’s temperament may affect the weaning process in the following ways: ● Settled babies may start solids later, because they seem satisfied on a milk diet. Some settled babies may not have the physical foundation of

good neck control and may not be sitting stably while supported. Watch your baby for signs of readiness, but don’t rush this process – he may only start solids closer to six months. ● Your social butterﬂy may seem interested and engaged in your food at mealtimes, which will lead you towards weaning much sooner. Once he shows interest, grabs for your spoon while on your lap and is sitting nicely supported, you can start to think about introducing solids. ● Sensitive babies are often fussy as young babies and it may be tempting to try and move them

onto solids quickly to get them settled. There is no harm in trying and then taking a break when you need to, but introduce foods one at a time. Once a food is tolerated and accepted you can combine two or three foods at a meal. ● Your slow-towarm-up little one will first push food from his mouth – it’s new and he is, therefore, suspicious and resistant to the change. Allow him to handle and mush the food with his hands, because just touching food counts as exposure and makes him more likely to eat it sooner. Stick to single ingredient recipes for a little longer.

EXPERT TIPS FOR THE EARLY WEANING STAGE: ● Milk is still the priority at this stage, so time solid meals for after milk feeds and not within two hours of the next milk feed so you don’t interfere with your baby’s appetite for milk. ● Start with a single-ingredient food. Starchy vegetables, fruits and single wholegrain cereals like quinoa and spelt are a good option, but so is avocado. ● While commercially bought rice cereal is an easy option, it’s best to make your own single-grain porridge or bake and steam vegetables. ● Fruit and vegetables provide an

excellent source of vitamins and minerals and should be cooked lightly, preferably steamed or baked to preserve the goodness. ● Your baby does not need extra water at this early stage if he still has four to six milk feeds a day. ● For the first few feeds, offer just one to three teaspoons of puréed solid food after the mid-morning milk feed. Put a small amount of food on the tip of the spoon and offer it to him. If your baby doesn’t seem interested, just let him smell the food for now and try again another time.

WIN! To stand the chance to win one of two copies of Weaning Sense by Meg Faure and Kath Megaw, email livingandloving@caxton.co.za with “Weaning Sense” in the subject line. Entries close 30 November 2017.

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Not so naughty They may be challenging for you, but most of your child’s so-called bad behaviours are, in fact, normal and ageappropriate. Here’s why they happen and how to handle them. By Tammy Jacks

hile tantrums, moaning and acting out might be the last thing you want to deal with as a parent, there’s usually a good reason for your child’s unwelcome behaviour. Johannesburg-based author, educator and counsellor Dereck Jackson believes that all humans will repeat behaviour that brings attention. In his book, Parenting with Panache, Dereck goes on to explain that in our frantic, busy lives, our children simply aren’t getting enough of our attention – and this is one of the main reasons they act out. If your child suddenly becomes clingy with lots of moaning and crying, refuses to listen or cooperate, chances are he’s trying to get your attention. Other possible reasons for these behaviours include your child’s temperament, big developmental milestones and becoming more independent, a response to stressful or traumatic events (such as divorce or a death in the family), change of any kind, or environmental factors such as tiredness and hunger. Once we get to the root of the problem and understand why our children might be acting a certain way, it becomes easier to be objective and solve the problem, be more patient and have empathy.

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baby & toddler

Here are six common to shout louder or cry harder to be heard, ways your child might but this will soon dissipate as they realise seem like he’s being they’re not getting the attention they want. naughty or defiant, but really isn’t... Scenario two Scenario one

Scenario four

Suddenly, your child is a fussy eater and the dining table is a war zone. Why this happens: Claire believes that all children need a chance to feel powerful, and they’ll often experiment with this through acting defiantly and pushing boundaries – especially at mealtimes. Part of this need to feel powerful is their developing sense of self and independence. This becomes more evident between the ages of 18 months and three years. Erik Erikson, a psychoanalyst who created an influential theory of psychological development, explains that during this age, children begin to develop a sense of autonomy. He acts impulsively in public and Solution: Erik says that because your won’t sit still in a restaurant. child is still learning that he can be Why this happens: Claire points out himself without having to say no to that children are at a everything (including all food items developmental stage on his plate), you need to find where they’re wired the balance between allowing to move and this your child to begin to develop The last part of the brain to is an important his sense of independence develop is the part of the and setting appropriate prefrontal cortex, which controls learning process. boundaries. One way to deal judgement Moving around with this is to give your child and impulse allows your child age-appropriate choices that control. to discover the you’re comfortable with. world around him. It For example, you could say, also helps him to develop “Would you like to eat your apple or your skills, such as coordinating his movements yoghurt first? You can choose.” You’re and understanding how his body works still setting the boundary by deciding in relation to the space around him. This on the healthy food options, but you’re body-space awareness is also known as letting your child have some choice and proprioception and it influences your child’s a chance to express his own desires. For learning ability when he starts school. a slightly older child, you could give him Solution: Adjust your expectations and a variety of healthy food options and let work with your child rather than against him choose which ones he wants to eat.

Scenario three

DID YO U

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Your child has regular tantrums in shopping malls. Why it happens: Yes, we dread them, but tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development, explains Johannesburgbased educational psychologist Claire Du Toit. Children sometimes feel overwhelmed, especially in places where there’s lots of stimulation, such as a shopping centre, but they don’t yet have the verbal capacity to express how they’re feeling. Your child’s brain is actively processing all the sounds and visual stimuli around him, while at the same time trying to make sense of them. While we have learned to control our emotions, and suppress them in public, kids can’t do this yet. Solution: One way to deal with this is to ignore the negative behaviour and praise any positive behaviour, says Dereck. “When your child is throwing a tantrum, pretend you don’t see him. Walk away and ignore him. As soon as he’s calmed down, say something like, “What a nice smile, come and give mom a hug. Let’s go out and play together.” Although this method is effective in the long-run, Dereck warns that it can get worse before it gets better. Sometimes, kids think that they need

Your little one cries or acts destructively while you’re texting or chatting on the phone. Why it happens: As inconvenient and “rude” as this may seem, little children haven’t yet learnt the art of patience and will crave that connection with you in the moment, says Claire. Solution: You won’t always be able to avoid a phone call or give your child 100% of your attention, and it will take time and consistency for him to learn this. In the meantime, while he’s still little, your best defence against interruptions is to try and plan when you’re going to make a phone call or send an email and distract your little one with something that interests him while you’re busy. From the age of two, you can also encourage taking turns to talk so your child knows he’ll be heard when the adults are finished chatting.

him. Studies have shown that the parts of the brain involved in self-regulation and self-control develop in stages, with some parts of the brain only fully maturing by the age of 20. As your child grows, he’ll learn to sit still and concentrate for longer periods. But until then, consider calling a babysitter if you want a quiet, uninterrupted meal out, or go for a picnic in a park or a spacious restaurant where your little one will have space to move around safely.

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baby & toddler Scenario six

Your child never seems to listen and you feel like you’re always nagging. Why this happens: “Children have different priorities to their parents, and tidying up or cleaning their teeth isn’t one of them,” laughs Claire. This doesn’t mean your child is naughty, it just means he’ll practice selective hearing until he realises you’re serious. He will also resist following rules or doing chores because his cognitive ability hasn’t yet matured enough to understand why it needs to be done. Remember that kids will always test limits to see how far they can push and that this is all a necessary part of learning. Solution: Don’t nag or preach, says Derek. Instead, give an assertive, effective demand. If you do it properly, nine times out of 10, your child will respond. If you want something done, bend down to your child’s level, speak slowly and clearly, but firmly, and avoid repeating yourself. You can also lean forward and be assertive in your body language, explains Derek. Kids often interpret body language before they hear your voice. Sometimes it also helps if your child feels understood before he has to do what you’re asking, says Claire. For example, you could say “I know it’s not fun to pick up your toys” or “I know that it’s hard to stop building your Lego, but…” That way, you’re validating his feelings and maintaining the connection. Once you’ve acknowledged his perspective, restate what you’ve asked him to do and set the limits.

Your little one doesn’t share his toys well and ﬁghts with kids on play dates. Why this happens: It’s important to be realistic and realise that even preschool children are still learning what it means to share, maintains Claire. Sharing is difficult for young children, particularly because they’re at a very egocentric stage. In other words, they’re focused on themselves and their own desires, which is a normal part of their development. Solution: Because young kids don’t have a good grasp of what sharing entails, the best thing you can do is model it for them, says Claire. Give your child plenty of opportunities and time to practise this skill, and simply accept that it takes time to develop. Play games with him that involve sharing and taking turns. Once he starts school, he’ll have even more opportunities to learn and practice this skill. When you see your child trying to share or taking turns on play dates, give him lots of praise and positive affirmations. If he gets uptight sharing his toys with friends, put some away and only leave the ones out that he’s comfortable to share.

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CLAIRE’S TOP TIPS ON HOW TO RAISE A BALANCED, HAPPY CHILD: Ensure he eats well. Letting your child get too hungry before, or between, meals is a recipe for disaster. A healthy diet with plenty of snacks is crucial for your child’s developing brain and growing body. Omega 3s are also a great idea as they have an impact on healthy brain development and will help to boost concentration. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule. Children need more sleep than you realise to be calm, happy and function effectively. Create a calm and soothing environment before bedtime to help your child “wind down” after a busy day. Let him move. Physical activity is the key to developing good motor skills. Allow your little one plenty of time to play both indoors and outdoors. Play together! Claire says it’s important to spend time playing with your child. Not only will this teach him important skills like sharing, it’ll also stimulate his language development. And the better he can communicate, the less chance of him getting frustrated and acting out. Simply connect. A connected child is, generally, a happy child. Remember all the extramurals in the world won’t make up for that meaningful time with you. Even if you’re a full-time working parent, quality over quantity is key. Read stories together at bedtime, and use the time you do have to connect. Be fully present in the moment as this will allow your child to feel safe and secure – the cornerstones of a calm, happy child. l&l

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED, GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Scenario five

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Daniel wears Polo shirt, R199, Cotton On. Shorts, R220, Woolworths. Sneakers, R89, Ackermans Nikka wears T-shirt, R149, H&M. Skirt, R249, H&M. Sunglasses, R49; Sandals, R19, both Mr Price

ENDLESS SUMMER Your tot will look cool, feel cool and be cool in these adorable seasonal favourites.

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baby & toddler

Zano wears Dress, R199, Woolworths. Shoes, R59, Ackermans. Hair clip, models own

Daniel wears Shirt, R220, Woolworths. Shorts, R279, H&M. Sneakers, R89, Ackermans

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Nikka wears Dress, R129, Jet. Bag, R179, Cotton On. Sandals, R19, Mr Price

Nikka wears Dress, R299, Woolworths. Sandals, R59, Jet Daniel wears T-shirt, R149, H&M. Shorts, R120, Woolworths. Shoes, R119, Jet. Sunglasses, R49, Mr Price

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baby & toddler

Zano wears Denim shirt, R199; skirt, R220, both Woolworths. Headband, R98, Kuna Kids. Shoes, R59, Ackermans

PHOTOGRAPHY CINDY ELLIS STYLING SHEENA BAGSHAWE FROM ONE LEAGUE MODELS DANIEL, NIKKA AND ZANOKUHLE FROM TMA MODELS LOCATION MONTECASINO BIRD GARDENS

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K DS EAT THE STRANGEST TH NGS A curious little one will put just about anything in his mouth – here’s what to do in the case of an emergency. By Tammy Jacks he mouth is a major sensory organ, and even if your house is babyproofed from ﬂoor to ceiling, your adventurous tot will sample something he shouldn’t at some point. Taste is closely linked to smell. In fact, 75% of what we taste is attributable to our sense of smell, explains clinical nurse and author of Toddler Sense, Ann Richardson. There are, literally, thousands of taste buds in and around the mouth that are sensitive to sweet, sour, salty and bitter tastes. Children’s mouths are hypersensitive to these new sensations, which is often why they’ll want to experiment with different objects using their mouths.

Patience is a virtue As frustrating as this is, it’s just part of growing up and will pass as your little one’s nervous system matures, says child psychiatrist Dr Elizabeth Berger. “Naturally, parents don’t feel enthusiastic about this behaviour. But the fact that you don’t applaud every time your child puts something in his mouth that he shouldn’t, will help phase out this behaviour,” she explains.

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baby & toddler Dirty and dangerous objects

YOUR HANDY SAFETY GUIDE Follow this handy guide by Johannesburg-based emergency practitioner, CPR teacher and mom of three Hayley Rosenthal next time your child chews or swallows any of the following: INSECTS OR WORMS If you spend a lot of time outdoors, chances are your child will eat some sort of insect like an ant, beetle or worm – especially between the ages of one and three. The good news is, this is rarely cause for concern – your little one has simply had an extra hit of protein that will be digested along with other food. In some cases, hard, indigestible parts of the insect body, like legs or wings, will be passed in your child’s stool, which isn’t dangerous either. However, if you suspect that your little one has eaten a poisonous insect, watch for symptoms and check in with your doctor or paediatrician. A BATTERY Batteries contain a corrosive agent and can cause a series of problems if ingested, warns Hayley. Most batteries are passed through the system and excreted in the child’s stool. However, should a battery get stuck, the danger of the corrosive agent leaking is high and could lead to significant damage and even death. If your child swallows any kind of battery, it’s considered an emergency. Don’t hesitate to take him to your nearest hospital. SAND OR SOIL Although around 20% of children will eat soil, and it may be amusing to see your baby munch his way through mouthfuls of sand, this isn’t as harmless as it seems. According to the Environmental Protection Agency,

the soil in your garden or your local park could pose several hazards, including: ● Chemical contamination, especially heavy metals such as lead ● Harmful bacteria, mostly from sewage or manure ● Parasites, especially roundworms from pet faeces. However, most of us have healthy soil in our gardens and a little here and there won’t pose any risk to your child. Experts suggest taking extra measures to prevent your child eating soil if: ● Your home is close to a petrol station ● Your home is on land previously used by a firing range or factory that made paint, pesticides, or batteries. A COIN In most cases, a coin will pass through the gastrointestinal tract. However, this does depend on the size of the coin. If it can get through the oesophagus, it should be passed in your child’s stool. Hayley recommends going to the emergency room for an X-ray, which can be done to see if the coin has lodged anywhere and if it has passed through the intestinal tract. Symptoms to watch out for: Should your child show any of the following symptoms, take him to the hospital as soon as possible: ● Excessive drooling ● Noisy breathing or wheezing ● Difficulty swallowing ● Blood in his stools.

Whether your child has sampled something he’s found on the ground in a public place or popped a strange berry or plant in his mouth, stay calm and assess the risks. If you’re unsure, it’s always a good idea to call your doctor immediately, who will advise you on the next step.

DOG OR CAT FAECES Kids often inspect and eat dog poo, especially if it’s lying around in the garden. Dog poo is relatively harmless if eaten in small amounts, but it may contain bacteria and parasites. If you find your child eating dog poo, wash his hands and mouth immediately and watch for any gastrointestinal symptoms such as diarrhoea or stomach pain. Cat poo and cat litter should be completely off limits as cats are at a higher risk of being infected with toxoplasmosis – a tiny parasite that lives inside the cells of humans and animals, and is especially prevalent in cat litter. According to non-profit health organisation in the US, Nemours, “Toxoplasmosis spreads by touching or coming into contact with infected cat poo. A cat can become infected from eating infected rodents, birds, or other small animals.” Symptoms to watch out for: ● Fever ● Swollen glands ● A rash ● Bruises that develop quickly.

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baby & toddler

HOUSEHOLD DETERGENTS OR MEDICINES If your child has chewed, drunk or swallowed any household detergent or medicine, no matter what the quantity, contact the Poison Control Centre while en route to the hospital.

IT HAPPENED TO ME

“My son drank pain medication” Legal compliance manager and mom of two, Samantha Watermeyer, acted immediately when her son drank half a bottle of pain medication. “My toddler wasn’t well, so I’d given him a teaspoon of pain medication before he went down for his nap and I’d closed it, but left it on the shelf in his room, instead of in the medicine cabinet. He was meant to be taking a nap, but instead decided to investigate the medicine bottle and drank around 60ml. I soon realised, because he came out of his room with a little red ring around his lips. The first thing I did was call the pharmacy to discuss what to do. Because the medication contained pseudoephedrine, the pharmacist suggested

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we have my son’s in hospital overnight blood pressure taken, so the nurses could because it could observe his kidney make his heart race function. The scariest and raise his blood thing for me was pressure. Large doses the large amount of of paracetamol are paracetamol he’d also concerning. On drunk. The doctors the way to the GP, explained that an I called the Netcare overdose can send Poison Control Centre a child into kidney and they asked how or liver failure. In my old my son was, how son’s case, he was fine much he weighed and and was discharged how much he drank. the next morning, but They advised that we it was a huge waketake him straight to the up call for me to keep hospital. Luckily, the all medicines and doctors didn’t have household detergents to pump his stomach far from reach.” because he’d already vomited quite a bit. They inserted a nasal What to do in an emergency gastric tube Don’t get your ch ild to vomit, with activated drink water or m ilk unless charcoal to directed to do so by the Poiso help absorb n Control Centre , advises Hayle all the y. Keep the follo wing chemicals in information on hand: his stomach. ● What was in gested? We stayed ● How much wa s ingested? with him ● How old is yo ur child and how much does he weigh? ● What is his be haviour like after the incid ent?

If your child starts choking on any object he’s put into his mouth, follow Hayley’s steps immediately: First ask him if he’s choking and if he can cough. This is important, because if your child can respond, it’s usually a good sign that he can get some air. If your child can cough, encourage him to cough with his arms up in the air. If he can’t cough and appears to be choking, act fast: ● Get behind your little one and wrap your arms around him so that your hands are in front. ● With one hand, make a fist and place the thumb side of your fist slightly above his belly button and well below the sternum/breastbone. ● Grasp the fist with your other hand and give quick upward thrusts into his belly. ● Continue to give thrusts until the object comes out and your child can cough, speak or breathe. ● Should your child stop responding, start CPR. If your baby is choking and can’t cough, breathe or make any sounds, take the following steps: ● Hold your baby face-down on your forearm, making sure to support his head and jaw with your hand. Sit or kneel with the arm that your baby’s on resting on your lap or thigh. ● Give up to five back slaps with the heel of your other hand between your baby’s shoulders. ● If the object doesn’t come out after the five back slaps, turn your baby onto his back. Remove clothing from the front of his chest, but only if you can do so quickly. Give up to five chest thrusts using two fingers to push in the same place you would do CPR compressions. Alternate five back slaps with five chest thrusts until the object comes out or your baby stops responding. ● If he stops responding, start CPR and get someone to call an ambulance. l&l

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In the event of choking

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nowing parents are pushed for time at this time of year, we asked Nikki to scour the market for items that are educationally sound, age-appropriate, fun and value for money. Nikki has an eye for games that have concise instructions and can be played in the limited time parents have available, while still creating rich memories and interesting learning experiences. “Never underestimate the power of real toys for children. In a digital age, don’t skip real in favour of on-screen activities. Bear in mind that your child is a multi-sensory being who learns best with concrete apparatus or toys,” says Nikki. She explains that play is how your child experiences meaningful learning and begins to make sense of his world.

GIF CEN T 6-PATRAL SPE GE CIA L

Creative parenting expert, bestselling author and speaker Nikki Bush shares her favourite toy picks just in time for Christmas shopping.

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 61

Multi-functional play gym and ball pit for tummy time to sitting.

Pop ’n Glow Piano

5-in-1 Your Way Ball Play Activity Gym (Bright Starts), R999, available at Baby City, Makro and independent toy stores This isn’t your average play gym. Your baby can lie under it on the jumbo padded play mat and engage with the gorgeous hanging toys. There is a prop pillow for tummy time and you can turn the play mat into a ball pit by raising the sides when your baby is sitting. Pop ’n Glow Piano (Baby Einstein), R299, Baby City and ToyZone This is a rewarding action/ reaction toy for the sitting baby. As your child presses the large and easy-to-use piano keys, the nautical characters pop up and move, while also creating beautiful musical sounds. In melody mode, babies can enjoy the sounds of classical music masterpieces, composed specially for babies’ little ears. In piano mode, they are rewarded for creating their own masterpieces.

Sensi-Ball (Pollywiggles), R199, available at Baby City, Toy Kingdom and selected retailers The ﬁrst time I picked up the Sensi-Ball I fell in love with its plush, velvety texture and the soothing sensation of putting my ﬁngers through the gaps in the ball. Your baby will discover different colours, textures and sounds, including crunching, tinkling of a bell and squeaking. As the ball rolls, your baby will be encouraged to move and crawl. The ball is fully washable.

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Tito Pull Along (Hape), R299, Toy Kingdom This wooden pull-along toy consists of the turtle base and a removable shell in the form of a water-ﬁlled wheel. As your little one pulls the turtle, the shell will spin. You can also remove the shell and roll it independently along the ﬂoor for some fascinating fun for your baby. As the coloured water spills from one segment of the wheel to another, it has a lava lamp effect. I love toys that do more than one thing!

BABIES 0 – 1 YEARS The ﬁrst year of life is a miracle! Your baby learns to push up against gravity to roll, sit, crawl and stand. Give your child gentle stimulation to ignite her curiosity about the world.

Spin & Giggle Giraffe (Bright Starts), R649, Baby City, Toy Zone and independent toy stores Put the balls in the giraffe’s mouth and see which foot they pop out of. This game requires a combination of gross- and ﬁne-motor control. This game also uses counting, music and lights to keep your baby coming back for more. Press the giraffe’s horns and make him spin around until the balls pop out of his feet. Children love cause-and-effect as it makes them feel in control.

Spin & Giggle Giraffe

Tito Pull Along

Having a Ball Let’s Get Rollin’ Activity Table (Bright Starts), R699, ToyZone, Makro, Hamleys and other independent toy stores This jungle-themed activity table is great value for money. It’s loaded with activities to keep little hands busy while offering your standing baby support. A fun ball drop ramp offers an element of surprise that will have your little one wanting to play over and over again. There’s lights and music, shape and colour activities, piano keys and a book. Plus, there’s volume control for parental sanity. Spin & Sort Pro (Yookidoo), R499, Baby City and other large retailers Children love pouring water and playing with hosepipes. This high-quality bath toy has a battery-operated bath spout that easily attaches to the side of the bath and draws an endless stream of water from the tub. The three interchangeable, brightly coloured bath cups work with the spout to create different water effects for spraying, straining, and floating fun. Pyramid of Play (Hape), R399, Toy Kingdom This is one of those perfect educational toys that covers all aspects of early learning. There are five wooden cubes, each depicting letters, numbers, pictures, shapes, and colours. Nest the cubes inside each other or stack them on top of each other to build a tower. Post the five shapes into the correct openings on the sides of each wooden block, count the objects on the side of the block, and identify the colours and shapes. There’s so much learning in this one high-quality toy that it will be useful for many years.

Having a Ball Let’s Get Rollin’ Activity Table

TODDLERS 1 – 2 YEARS Now that your baby is mobile, crawling and walking, life is such an adventure.

Pop Up Teddy Bath Buddy (Hape), R199, Toy Kingdom This is a wonderful shower or bath buddy for your little one. As the water level in the bath buddy rises, the teddy appears. Hold the Teddy Bath Buddy up in the air and the water will spray out of the bottom while the teddy disappears again. This little hide-and-seek teddy can also be used to make the hair-washing routine more fun. Wheels on the Bus Sound Puzzle (Melissa & Doug), R180, visit atoyforyou. co.za for stockists Sound puzzles are a source of fascination for young children. Lift a piece and hear a sound. In this case, it is a verse from the most infamous preschool song in history, “The Wheels on the Bus”. There are six pieces in this peg puzzle that will also get little hands working that ﬁne-motor control. The six different pictures that are revealed underneath show what is happening on the bus from the wipers going swish, swish to the horn going beep, beep. Combine your child’s ﬁne-motor development with their auditory memory.

Spin & Sort Pro

Pop Up Teddy Bath Buddy

Pyramid of Play

Make bath time fun with a hide-and-seek game.

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Locking, unlockingm opening, closing perfect for busy tots.

Latches Barn

TODDLERS 2 – 3 YEARS Your child is starting to play with a purpose, moving into a more constructive phase of putting things together rather than knocking them down.

Latches Barn (Melissa & Doug), R660, visit atoyforyou. co.za for stockists Children can undo the six different latches and open the barn doors to see what’s inside. This beautifully painted wooden barn is home to four animals; a cow, pig, goat and horse. This problem-solving activity doubles as fantasy play. London Bus Leo Shape Sorter (WOW Toys), R325, Toy Adventures and Toy Zone and takealot.com Sort the six shapes into the shape sorter by shape and colour, and then use the driver’s hand to push the WOW magic button to open the tailgate to retrieve them. This toy is lovely for reinforcing shape and colour concepts as well as problem-solving skills.

Adventure Park Play Set (OBall), R549, ToyZone, Toy Kingdom and select independent stores This is a colourful, sturdy and chunky first train set that has added features such as the lever on the bridge that enables the train to change direction – no batteries required! You will need to build the track for your child at first, but she will learn to do it by herself. This is a great problem-solving activity for your learning tot. Fridge Numbers (Leap Frog), R499, Toy Kingdom, Hamleys, selected Baby City stores and takealot.com The kitchen is a great place for learning. Leap Frog’s magnetic fridge numbers will be used by everyone who passes by. It features 20 interactive number and food tiles and an electronic tile reader. Place the matching food tile in Scout’s picnic basket to hear him explain what has happened – “Great! One banana. I have one banana in my picnic basket.” This game helps teach numbers, counting, colours and matching as well as fine-motor skills through cause and effect.

Fridge Numbers Adventure Park Play Set

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PRESCHOOLER 3 - 4 YEARS Your preschooler is acquiring all the skills for school readiness in a fun and play-based way.

Mosaico Maxi (Djeco), R399.90, visit newleap. co.za for stockists There are eight different picture cards in this colourful first pegboard. Place them on the pegboard and push the pegs into the holes to colour in the picture. This is all about hand-eye coordination and fine-motor control, using the same fingers your child will use to hold a crayon or pencil one day. By placing the buttons in the holes, your child is completing the picture in front of them – it’s a satisfying exercise and good for prereading and pre-writing skills. Dusty the Garbage Truck (Real Workin’ Buddies), R999, Shoprite Checkers, Lilliputs and City Gifts & Toys This is a fabulous push along vehicle that is like a toy vacuum cleaner – it is able to suck up small toys such as building blocks and cars. Dusty can eat it up, sweep it up or dump it out, making this a great incentive to motivate kids to clean up after playing with their toys! He also has personality with over 50 phrases, lights, and sounds.

Penguin Pairs Mini Game (Orchard), R150, visit timeouttoys. co.za for stockists Penguin Pairs features 32 colourful penguin character cards to match in pairs. It is suitable as a single player activity or a multi-player game. The penguins have cool outﬁts that children need to investigate closely in order to spot the differences. This is a travel-size game that can be played at home or when out and about. It is also a great way to enhance your child’s observational skills.

Water WOW Splash Cards 1, 2, 3 (Melissa & Doug), R160, visit atoyforyou. co.za for stockists This is mess-free magic! The 26 chunky learn-and-play ﬂash cards feature numbers, shapes and colours. Just ﬁll the chubby water pen with water and paint the picture on the card. The picture appears in full colour and disappears as the card dries. The cards can be reused, making this great for on-the-go fun that keeps kids fascinated.

Puzzle Géant Friends (Djeco), R260, visit newleap.co.za for stockists This is a 28-piece giant domino set which will teach kids how to match. Beautifully illustrated in a magniﬁcent box, this toy makes for a great gift. The dominoes are 16.5 x 7cm each – most unusual and such fun.

Shape & Learn Textures & Tools (Play-Doh), R359, Toy Kingdom and other large retailers This is one of my favourite items in the new Shape & Learn range from Play-Doh. The Textures and Tools set consists of three textured stampers, three cutters, three different patterned rollers and six tubs of quality playdough. Every aspect of this game has been designed for little hands to practice their muscle strength and motor skills as they imprint different patterns into the playdough. It also comes with extra tools and three reversible play mats for speciﬁc activities that will help with school readiness. The Together Time Guide will help you play an active role in your child’s multisensory development.

Help your little one practice memory and matching skills.

Play-Doh Shape & Learn

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PRESCHOOLER

Counting Caterpillars (Orchard), R295, timeouttoys. co.za for stockists This is a fun colour-matching game that develops both number recognition and counting skills. Initially, your child should touch every dot as she counts to make the counting meaningful. Cards must be placed in the correct position/sequence on the caterpillar so that your child can count from one to 10. The winner is the ﬁrst person to complete their caterpillar!

Ze Géoanimo Blocks (Djeco), R500, visit newleap.co.za for stockists Create pictures out of the wooden pieces by copying the pictures on the 20 instruction cards using the colourful wooden shapes supplied. This is a fabulous game of spatial planning and problem solving that will stretch your child’s brain. Don’ t forget to encourage free play with the shapes, and allow your child to create his own picture. Little Action (Djeco), R300, visit newleap. co.za for stockists Take up an action challenge and win a medal. This game is all about using the six gorgeous rubbery animals and the box. Follow the visual instructions on the 20 picture cards, which could have players balancing animals on top of each other in a tower, balancing them on their own heads, throwing them into the box lid or using them as skittles. Throwing, catching and aiming accurately are all part of this game that involves both gross- and ﬁne-motor coordination. This is guaranteed fun for the whole family. Little Bus Lotto Mini Game (Orchard), R150, visit timeouttoys. co.za for stockists This travel-size game is an animalthemed lotto featuring 24 animal character tiles and four different coloured buses to choose from. While developing observation, matching and visual memory skills, children will also love looking at the different animal characters and seeing what they are up to on the bus! This game can be played alone or as a group.

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4 – 5 YEARS Children in this age group are curious about how the world works and they want to be masters of their universe. They are well and truly on their way to school readiness.

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK; PRICES CORRECT AT THE TIME OF GOING TO PRINT

Funny Bunny (707 Games), R199, visit kidstoys4u. co.za for stockists This is a fun rabbit race to see who can get to the juicy carrot on the top of the hill ﬁrst. Follow the instructions on the cards that tell you how many spaces you can move up the hill, but watch out – if you draw a carrot card you must twist the carrot in the centre of the board and holes will suddenly appear. One of your rabbits may just disappear down a hole and be out of the game! This is great fun for the whole family that teaches strategy, counting and taking turns.

Little ones learn numbers, matching skills and animal sounds

Funny Bunny

Little Bus Lotto Mini Game

Creative parenting expert, speaker and author, Nikki Bush is highly regarded for her independent, trusted opinion on toys and games in South Africa. For her toy and game video and blog reviews visit nikkibush.com, or listen to her every Saturday at 8.15am on Radio 702. You can also book tickets for her popular November Toy Talk events at nikkibush. com/toytalktickets. l&l

59% OF F AMIL E TOG AT DINNE IES ETHE R R FIVE AT LEAS TIME T A WE S EK

YUM!

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NEW WAY TO MONITOR BLOOD GLUCOSE The world’s first flash glucose monitoring system, which requires only a scan rather than a finger prick to test blood sugar is now available in South Africa through The Centre for Diabetes and Endocrinology (CDE). With this new technology, patients can now continuously monitor their glucose levels – including real-time glucose values, trend information and comprehensive reports. “Controlling glucose levels is a prerequisite for treating diabetes,” says Chairman of the CDE, Dr Larry Distiller. Whereas traditional testing with blood from a fingertip is recommended four to eight times a day, pilot project participants scanned, on average, up to 16 times per day with the new technology. The more they scanned, the more control they had over their levels.

LOOKING FOR A DAIRY ALTERNATIVE? Clover’s Soy Milk is made from high-quality, naturally grown, nonGMO whole soy beans and is suitable for vegans and people who are lactose intolerant. It’s a great source of protein and vitamins and is low in sodium. The Clover Good Hope range comes in unsweetened and sweetened, as well as ﬂavoured varieties. Enjoy it just as it is, in coffee or tea, or use it for cooking and baking. Available in one litre, or 200ml on-the-go packs.

DID YOU KNOW? Most one-year-olds are ambidextrous, meaning they use both their hands equally. Your toddler will most likely start showing a preference for his left or right hand by the age of two or three. In about 90% of children, this will be the right hand.

Family notes The latest parenting news, products and advice for a happy, healthy family.

COULD CORD BLOOD PREVENT TYPE 1 DIABETES? Type 1 diabetes is one of the most prevalent chronic diseases in childhood, affecting one in 500 children. The cause of this illness is not fully understood, but it is thought that the immune system plays an important role in causing damage to the beta cells of the pancreas. Stem cells may offer a promising new approach in modulating the immune system to prevent, or successfully treat, diabetes. A 20-month-old toddler from Australia has become the youngest child in the world to receive her own

cord blood to help prevent or delay the onset of type 1 diabetes. Researchers at The Children’s Hospital in Sydney are hoping that stored umbilical cord blood could become a groundbreaking treatment for type 1 diabetes. l&l

L&L | NOVEMBER 2017 | 67

Tackling trauma

When life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, it’s up to you as a parent to assist your child through the tough times… Here’s how. By Lynne Gidish

ccording to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), children who are exposed to trauma need help from the adults in their lives to make sense of the experience and process it in a way that minimises any long-term negative impact. We consider how to approach a range of traumatic events to assist your child through them.

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Car accidents Car accidents are extremely traumatic for children, even if they don’t result in significant personal injuries, explains Marita Rademeyer, a clinical psychologist and chairperson of Jelly Beanz, a non-profit organisation that offers hope to children affected by trauma and abuse. “This is because young children react to the sensory aspects (such as loud sounds and the smells of rubber and smoke) as well as to the distress of their fellow passengers and separation from their caregiver (being held by a stranger while Mom speaks to the police on the scene). A car is, in many ways, an extension of the family home as it is a familiar and usually safe environment, so young children are particularly distressed by the loss or damage – even if adults perceive this as minor.”

FOR CHILDREN UNDER THREE Focus on sensory experiences while offering your child as much familiarity and routine as possible. Young children respond to your distress, so be mindful of how you express this. Expect your child to be more demanding and seek professional help for regressive behaviours such as bed-wetting after being dry for an extended period. FOR THREE- TO FIVE-YEAR-OLDS Your child may play out the trauma by smashing toy cars, have unending questions, be fearful of driving, or have bad dreams. They need opportunities to play the trauma out in a safe space and should be allowed to ask the same questions repeatedly, and have any cognitive distortions corrected. Children of this age often act out after trauma, so you should be extra patient and not too harsh in terms of discipline.

family

Death of a loved one Marita explains that when a child loses a loved one in a traumatic way, they have two processes of adjustment − dealing with the trauma of the death and the process of bereavement. A child under the age of five will battle to understand the permanence of a loved one’s death, and will insist on going to visit the deceased person. One of the biggest mistakes that adults make is to assume that children are unaffected by trauma because they are too young to understand what’s happening. Quite the opposite is true. Children carry sensory memories of trauma for many years (smells that trigger fear, aspects of what was seen that manifest in nightmares or sounds that trigger rage). FOR CHILDREN UNDER THREE As with other forms of trauma, it’s essential to keep caregiving and routine as consistent as possible. Young children derive comfort from touching and holding as well as any self-soothing object that relieves tension. FOR THREE- TO FIVE-YEAR-OLDS After this type of trauma, children often react by pushing the limits and acting out. Allow your child plenty of time to wind down. Swinging, an extra-long bath time or sand play, for example, will help physiological and psychological stress to dissipate. Remember, you can’t take away your child’s pain. Healing takes time and you can facilitate this by dealing with difficult behaviour in a supportive and patient way, by minimising change in the environment and by playing with your child (phones off!).

Relocating Relocating is stressful and affects many areas of your family’s life, explains clinical psychologist Joanna Kleovoulou. “Everything you’re familiar with and take for granted has to be reinvented. Children lose friends, change schools and wake up in unfamiliar places, so little ones often become clingy and regress while older children feel sad and angry. They are also affected by their stressed parents who are trying to adjust and cope with many additional responsibilities.” FOR CHILDREN UNDER THREE As they’re too young to understand the concept, re-enact the move with stuffed toys by making it a story, with a title like Tommy the Tiger Moves to Durban. Remember that young children

often worry that their parents will leave them, so emphasise that everyone in the family will be going together. FOR THREE- TO FIVE-YEAR-OLDS Listen, acknowledge, and don’t try to talk your child out of her feelings. Reassure her and be prepared for a negative reaction, “Yes, I know this is a big change for you, I know you will miss your friends, but we can find ways to stay in touch.” Prepare your child for what’s to come and recognise her loss by allowing her to express her sadness about saying goodbye to everything she knows. Give her a sense of control by having her participate in some decisions, like where to place her toys and furniture, and try to keep her schedule the same – the more predictability she has, the quicker she’ll adjust.”

“If any of the symptoms do not lessen or go away over time, it’s vital to seek professional help. Early intervention can be helpful for traumatised children and will allow them to get back on a normal developmental path. Without intervention, symptoms are likely to worsen.” – Joanna Kleovoulou.

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family

Unfortunately, this is a reality that many young South African children experience these days, says Joanna. Reactions to this high-level trauma can occur immediately after the event, or days and even weeks later. “While children’s reactions are affected by the reaction of their parents and vary at different ages, every child exposed to a traumatic event will rely on her parents for protection and to help her make sense of her world. That’s why you should also seek, accept and increase any support you need to help you manage your own shock and emotional response.”

IT HAPPENED TO ME

Moving to a new country Leslie Randolph, mom to Wyle (4) and Anna (2). “Six months after welcoming Wyle into the world, my husband Adam was offered a job in South Africa. Having been born and raised in Chicago and spending my whole life merely blocks away from my family and friends, this was a massive decision. But I fully supported my husband’s career path and dreams, all of which were contingent upon an international placement. A week after he accepted the job, we found out I was pregnant with Anna and suddenly we were faced with two of life’s most traumatic challenges – a move and a second child.

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Wyle was 13 months old when we relocated. I arrived enthused and open-minded, but no one had consulted Wyle about this new chapter or the fact that three months later, he would become a big brother! Right from the start, I made his happiness, comfort and social life my priority. Within a week of arriving in Johannesburg, I had signed him up for a class every day, which we’d do together so he always had the comfort and safety of Mom through all these new experiences. I also made sure our family and friends from back home stayed

constant in his life by looking at pictures, talking about them and checking in via FaceTime. Despite all the upheaval, Wyle is now one of the smartest, sweetest and most inquisitive children I have ever known. We took each turn in our stride and invited our son’s curiosity and excitement about the brand-new world we found ourselves in. I’ve also made it my full-time job to create a network of friends and a new family that support us in this new life. By doing so, I have been able to make South Africa not simply a transition, but a home for us all.”

FOR CHILDREN UNDER THREE Remember that trauma can have a serious effect on babies and toddlers as it can severely disrupt important developmental milestones, including the bonding process, development of language, physical and social skills and emotions. Structure, predictability and affection are key to helping them cope, so avoid any unnecessary separation and provide lots of hugs and soothing activities (painting, playdough, singing, swinging) to recreate a calm environment. FOR THREE- TO FIVE-YEAR-OLDS Re-establish stability by listening to your child and hearing her concerns. Help her identify her feelings with words and not by acting out. Don’t minimise his feeling by telling him he’s being a baby and should just go to sleep. Rather say, “You are really scared of the dark now… it’s going to be OK, Mom and Dad are right here to make it better.” Following routines and setting limits with consistency and gentleness will give your child a sense of safety.

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD The South African Anxiety and Depression Group offers the following tips: ● Look out for warning signs. Seek professional help if your child becomes more aggressive, tearful, anxious, or regresses to developmentally younger behaviour. Get support for yourself, too ● Don’t shy away from difficult questions. Your child may want to talk about what happened or ask questions, so find appropriate ways to respond. ● Rebuild a sense of safety. Help your child to feel safe and secure again by creating structure and through your presence and attention to his needs. For more information, visit sadag.org or call 0800 70 80 90. l&l

PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Robbery or hijacking

Super mom Our cover star, Romy Titus, is a radio and TV personality who has a refreshing perspective on life as a first-time mom to five-month-old Hera Sarai. What surprised me most about my pregnancy was the glow. If I could package and sell it, I’d be a millionaire! I must say, though, that when I found out I was expecting, I was a bag of emotions and was in sheer disbelief for months. Morning sickness yanked me back into reality. That’s when it hit me that I’d soon have a little person to nurture and care for. I did everything as I usually would and worked right up until the birth date. I have to say, God was gracious towards me throughout the entire nine months.

I was worried about postnatal depression and that encouraged me to see my homeopath every trimester. If I felt I needed to go more often, I did. My aim was to stay as healthy as possible throughout my journey – I took my vitamins and a special tablet that assisted me in getting safely to the other side without hitting the dips. Other than that, I haven’t had any issues since giving birth. In fact, I love every second!

The day I went into labour was exactly how I had envisioned it. My midwife and doula were by my side for a water birth. My waters broke at 10.50pm and Hera arrived at 4.46am. By the time she appeared, I was exhausted – but happy that we were finally united for a lifetime of love!

I have many titles, but “mother” is the best! I live for Hera’s smiles, giggles and fat little feet that I threaten to gobble up. She has revived my vigour and has given me a reason to live my best life, setting an example for her as I go along.

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She has revived my vigour and has given me a reason to live my best life, settling an example for her as I go along.

family

PHOTOGRAPHY KEVIN MARK PASS STYLING ASHLEIGH VAN DER WESTHUIZEN MODELS ROMY TITUS AND BABY HERA HAIR AND MAKEUP STORM PASS ROMY WEARS TOP & HEELS ZARA, JEANS H&M, EARRINGS & BANGLE ACCESSORIZE BABY HERA WEARS TOP AND DENIMS, BOTH NEXT AT FOSCHINI

My cognitive capacity has grown since becoming a mom. I recently chatted to an old friend of mine on a flight to Cape Town who shared with me the ability women have to just make things happen – because they have to. Time management with the days planned to a T so that I can squeeze it all in, or late nights typing away in bed with my baby next to me. Things need to get done, so I knuckle down and do them!

My life has changed for the better since becoming a mom. It’s amazing how having a baby can whip your life into shape. I’m more disciplined financially. Before, it was just me and two Chihuahua’s to fend for – now I have a family consisting of a daughter, a nanny and the dog children. Hera’s education is top of my mind. Motherhood has also taught me to slow down. In my industry, I’m always on the go, chasing work and making things happen. While I still do that, there’s more of a balance now. What I love most about being a mom is seeing Hera unfold like a ﬂower in bloom. Every day, she’s prettier in my eyes and each milestone is a miracle. I love watching her and being able to be the storyteller of her life until she’s able to tell her own story. Our relationship is solid! I tell her that I love her every day. I sing her to sleep and whisper affirmations to her as she doses off so that she will grow up believing in them and trusting in herself. We’ve bonded and it’s going to take the end of the world to break that bond.

My parents were very strict and I might take a few notes from their book. I want to be an open parent – relaxed enough to have fun, but firm enough to discipline. Hera is a calm baby with a friendly personality. She’s happy in anyone’s arms. She’s also outspoken, determined and feisty – just like her mother! I would like to teach her to stand her ground, be proud of who she is and embrace every freckle and curly strand of hair on her head. I would also like her to fearlessly be herself in all she tackles in this wide world. I will offer her a firm foundation and be her springboard into life so she grows up confident in who she is and what she wants to become. I also want her to remember that I made all my dreams come true. My advice to moms who may be feeling overwhelmed is not to sweat the small stuff. I’ve had to learn that as long as your baby is taken care of, you’ve won! Do things the way you want to do them and don’t take in all the outside noise. Women are strong and powerful – I only realised how strong I was when I became a single mother. Go to livingandloving.co.za and click on For Fun for a behind-the-scenes video from our glam cover shoot.

Me-time is also important. Going to a spa is my little indulgence to get away and just unwind for an hour or two when I can. I think women need to let go of the self-doubt! I always remind myself that if I can birth a baby of nearly 4kg without a single Panado, then I can do just about anything! Other mothers should remember that… whether you had a C-section or opted for natural, you’re beyond amazing! Stop hiding your flab or your stretch marks – let them be a reminder that you’re a work of wonder! l&l

CARING FOR OTHERS, TOO Romy is the founder and president of Babies Behind Bars, a non-proﬁt organisation that looks after babies from birth to two years of age. “When I’m not juggling TV and Radio journalism, or playing aeroplane with Hera, I’m hard at work trying to help mothers in prisons across the continent give their children a better life while they’re behind bars. We assist them while they are living with their mothers in prisons across the country, by providing all their necessities on a monthly basis. The experience has taught me to be appreciative of my life and the freedom I have. I get to do what I want every day, the way I want to. I can decide what to wear and eat and who to see. Spend a few hours behind bars and you’ll soon realise the lack of freedom and movement, and it will seem like you have it all!” For further information, call +27 (0)79 038 0223, or email info@babiesbehindbars.org, or visit babiesbehindbars.org.

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Littlechefs

Little ones will love munching on some Minions and playing with their food in the form of these edible sugar-free puzzles.

Minion cupcakes Makes 16

For the cupcakes 120g soft butter Pinch salt 1 tsp vanilla essence ¾ cup sugar 2 eggs 1¾ cups self-raising flour ½ cup milk For the buttercream 200g soft butter 2 tsp vanilla essence 2 tbsp milk 3½ cups icing sugar Blue food colouring

TOP T

IP Buy fond eyeb ant alls a t bak Alter ing s nativ hops ely, p onto . ip the T e you in r own k ie royal s wit icing h the (befo white it) an re co d let lo u it r in dry. T black hen p g royal ipe icing dots for th on e pup ils.

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For the royal icing 11/3 cups icing sugar, sifted 1 egg white black food colouring To decorate 24 fondant eyeballs 8 Tinkies, halved 1 tbsp chocolate vermicelli

● For the cupcakes, preheat the oven to 180°C. Line a standard 16-hole cupcake pan with blue paper cases. ● Beat the butter, salt, vanilla and sugar until light and creamy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition, until combined. ● Add the flour and milk, alternating into the butter mixture until just combined. Divide between the cases until half full. Bake for about 15 minutes, until a test skewer comes out clean. Cool on wire racks.

● For the buttercream, beat the butter, vanilla and milk until light and creamy. Beat in the icing sugar a cup at a time until a firm, but pipeable, icing forms. Colour light blue with food colouring. Spoon into a piping bag fitted with a 1cm star nozzle. ● For the royal icing, beat together the icing sugar and egg white for 3 minutes, until it has the consistency of toothpaste (add a few drops of water if it’s too stiff or more icing sugar if it’s too runny). Colour black with food colouring and spoon into a piping bag fitted with a small, round nozzle. ● To decorate, use the royal icing to "glue" one or two of the eyeballs onto each Tinkie half as eyes. Pipe around them to form glasses and draw a mouth. Cover and set aside for icing to harden. ● Pipe swirls of the blue icing onto each cupcake. Top each with a Tinkie. Insert chocolate vermicelli as hair. Keep covered to prevent drying out.

family fun Healthy puzzle cookies Makes about 30

1 cup + 2 tbsp coconut flour Pinch gluten-free baking powder 3 tbsp xylitol Pinch salt 200g sugar-free peanut butter 4 eggs, beaten 1 tbsp vanilla essence 2 tbsp sunflower oil 2 tbsp milk

● Preheat oven to 180°C. Line baking trays with baking paper. Combine the flour, baking powder, xylitol and salt. ● Mix the peanut butter, eggs, vanilla, oil and milk until smooth. Add the dry ingredients and mix to form a dough. ● Roll the dough out between two sheets of baking paper to 7mm thickness. Use an 8 x 5cm puzzle cookie cutter to cut out shapes and place on the prepared trays. Re-roll offcuts. ● Bake one tray at a time, for about 15 minutes or until golden. Cool on the trays. Store in an airtight container for up to a week. l&l

RECIPES MARGIE ELS -BURGER PHOTOGRAPHY DYLAN SWART

P TIP ● Ma ke th ese d free b airyy rep lacin milk g the with coco ● Pu nut m zzle ilk. cook ie cu are a tters vaila ble fr bakin om g sto res.

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PAPER AND GLUE CRAFTS These crafts will allow your young children to express their creativity. Once completed, take them out into the garden and let the fun begin.

YOU WILL NEED White cardboard Poster paint in orange, yellow and brown Googly eyes Paint brushes or sponge brush Black marker Scissors Ice cream sticks Glue A wet cloth to clean your child’s feet before changing colours.

Tip Enco urag your e little o ne to you a tell story abou chara t the cters and m the a ake nima l nois es.

Fun footprint puppets There is no end to the characters you can create with this sensory craft. When the puppets are complete, your child can enjoy playing with them in a way that boosts her confidence and engages her imagination.

METHOD ● Lay down newspaper or a plastic table cloth on the floor, and place the cardboard on top. ● Sit your little one on the floor and paint one of her feet in the first colour. ● Press her foot onto the cardboard and remove. ● Clean the paint from her foot with the cloth and repeat with the other colours. ● Allow the paint to dry completely. ● Glue on the googly eyes and draw on a mouth and nose with the marker. ● Cut out the animals and glue onto ice cream sticks.

family fun Butterfly paper hand puppet Once the butterfly is completed, your child can run around the garden while moving her hands up and down so she can see how the wings start to flap.

COMPILED BY KIRSTEN DAVIDS PHOTOGRAPHY HEMAL PATEL MODEL CHLOE DAVIDS

YOU WILL NEED White paper Pencil Black marker Khokis or pencil crayons Scissors Glue Googly eyes Glitter or glitter glue (optional) METHOD ● On a white piece of paper, draw a long oval that’s about ¾ the length of your child’s hand. Now draw a small circle at one end to form the head of the butterfly and outline with the marker to cover any pencil marks. ● Colour in the body and head, and cut out. ● Glue on two googly eyes and draw on a mouth ● To make the legs, colour in and then cut out six strips of paper that are each 1cm x 8cm long. ● Fold the legs into an accordion and then glue them onto the body of the butterfly, three per side. ● To create the butterfly wings, fold the paper in half and draw a 5cm x 4cm block over the fold. This will then be attached to the body of the butterfly. Using the block as a base, draw the wings and cut out the block and wings as a single piece. ● Now the fun begins. Colour in the wings and remember, the brighter the better. ● Place glue on the under side of the block and attach to the body. ● Create a wrist strap from the paper measuring 13cm x 1.5cm. Glue the butterfly to the strap and join the two ends of the strap together. ● Slip over your child’s hand and let the flapping begin.

Paper-plate dinosaurs If your little one is a dinosaur fan, this craft is a must! It’s quick and easy to do and perfect for tots of about three years of age, who will love painting their creations and drawing on the faces. YOU WILL NEED A large paper plate Scissors Pencil Glue Toilet roll Poster paint Paint brush or sponge brush Googly eyes Black marker METHOD ● Fold and cut the paper plate in half to create the body of the dinosaur. ● On the other half of the plate, draw and cut out a head and tail,

and a few triangular spikes. ● Glue the spikes onto the rounded side of the other half of the paper plate. ● Glue on the head and tail, and allow to dry. ● Measure 3cm into each side of the toilet roll and cut to create the feet. ● Cut slits into the opposite end of the toilet roll, a third of the way down. ● Place the body into the slits of the feet – your dinosaur should now be able to stand on its own. ● Using a tablecloth or newspaper to protect the table surface, let your child paint the dinosaur and allow the paint to dry. ● To make the face, stick on a googly eye and use the marker to make the mouth. ● Give the dinosaur a name and take him outdoors to play. l&l

MOVIE NIGHT From blockbusters to animated mayhem, these new releases offer something for every family member.

Cars 3

Daddy’s Home 2

Coco

In cinemas 10 November This American comedy film will have you in stitches, as Dusty and Brad have to deal with their meddling fathers over the holidays. Dusty also has the added stress of his step child’s biological father’s constant presence. Family dynamics are explored in a light-hearted manner and colourful personalities come together to provide comic relief. A sequel to the to the 2015 film Daddy’s Home, also starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.

In cinemas 22 November This computer-animated musical fantasy will tug at your heartstrings, as it follows a 12-year-old boy on a quest to fulfil his dream. Despite his family’s generationsold ban on music, Miguel wants to walk in his idol’s footsteps and become an accomplished artist. His journey leads him to the strikingly alluring Land of the Dead where he meets a new friend who helps him find the missing puzzles of his past. Featuring the voices of Benjamin Brett and Gael Garcia Bernal.

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On DVD 20 November The legendary Lightning McQueen is blind-sided by a new generation of fast cars, and finds himself pushed out of the game. He is soon forced to rope in the enthusiastic young race technician Cruz Ramirez and some old friends, who will ultimately help him get back on track. McQueen has to keep his eye on the prize as he tries to protect his legacy and his pride. Buckle up and brace yourself for some unexpected twists and turns as champions go head-to-head for the Piston Cup. Featuring the voices of Owen Wilson and Kerry Washington.

COMPILED BY THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Kids choic ’ e!

family fun

Reading corner lovWe!e

Join your little one on a fun learning adventure with these colourful and educational reads.

3-5 years 2-5 years

COMPILED BY THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Follow Me By Roger Priddy (Pan Macmillan), R135 Your child will have the chance to run her finger along the maize to find her way to the next page. The colourful illustrations are entertaining, with a trip to the farm, into the ocean, through town and a trek through the snow to keep your tot engaged. Will Fox find his friends and where will the last hole lead? Follow the trail to find out…

2-5 years

Tip Tap Went the Crab By Tip Hopgood (Pan Macmillan), R125 Dive into the sea and learn to count to 10 with the little crab under the deep blue sea. Your kids will love the sight of the colourful starfish, funny octopus, dancing jellyfish, and fluttering seahorses floating through the reeds. This is an exciting way to explore the ocean… sideways! Can you spot the hidden gold coins? You might just find them under the water.

3-6 years

What the Ladybird Heard on Holiday By Julia Donaldson (Pan Macmillan), R245 Get your little one ready for a holiday with the Ladybird as she flies over the city and lands at the zoo. You’ll be met by the trumpets of an elephant, the hyena’s loud laugh and a lion’s loud roar! Watch the monkeys climb on trees and wave at the laid-back camel. You’ll also go on a fun adventure to discover a hidden treasure.

ALL ages

Winniethe-Pooh: The Great Heffalump Hunt By Giles Andreae (Penguin Random House), R140 Award-winning and bestselling author of Giraffes Can’t Dance, Giles Andreae tells of Winnie’s hunt to catch a Heffalump. While he may not be prepared for what’s coming, Pooh’s best friend Piglet is there to lend a hand, making this a sweet, heart-warming story of courage, adventure, friendship and honey!

Dinosaur Lands By Neiko Ng (Pan MacMillan) R195 This search-and-find book is filled with seven themed scenes to capture your little one’s imagination. A large board book filled with dinosaurs and colourful illustrations, this book will encourage you to have fun with your tot while trying to pronounce the dinosaur names – not to mention the conversations you’ll have about the captivating prehistoric world. l&l

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family fun

Explore the arts and feel the magic!

Pinocchio 12 November â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 30 December 2017 Joburg Theatre Seasoned Director Janice Honeyman will be restaging Pinocchio at the Joburg Theatre. Your little one will enjoy watching this fictional character come to life as he learns lessons when his fibbing can makes his little noses grow bigger. The much-loved character that was carved by a woodcarver named Geppetto in a village near Florence has found a place in the hearts of boys and girls around the world, and continues to be celebrated. For more information, visit joburgtheatre.com.

Pathways 19 0ctober â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4 November 2017 Cape Town This is a solo exhibition by Tanya Sternberg, which represents the everchanging landscape of the Okovango Delta. The wilderness of the vast inland river Delta is captured beautifully in this showcase, which explores the countless pathways presented during our lives. Tanya also explores how humans move through space and time, and how we keep evolving. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re unable to attend, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be pleased to know the exhibition will run simultaneously online at stateoftheartgallery.com. For more information, call 0724709272 or email jennifer@ stateoftheart-gallery.com.

Trending comics 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4 November 2017 Goliath Comedy Club, Johannesburg If you missed the Cape Town leg of this anticipated comedy show, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t despair â&#x20AC;&#x201C; your favourite comedians will be at Melrose Arch to make sure that Johannesburg doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on the fun and laughter. The exciting line-up includes Schalk Bezuidnhout, Robbie

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Collins, Loyiso Madinga and Neil Green. In the era of social media, where everyone wants to know whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trending, this is the perfect opportunity to hashtag all things comical! The show will be hosted by Donovan Goliath, so brace yourself for an epic evening. For more information, visit goliathcomedyclub.com.

Tuesday and Wednesday evenings 5:30pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 6:30pm (adults) Saturday 9am - 11am (kids 3-12) The Market Theatre, Johannesburg If you have two left feet but love the idea of dancing then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be happy to know that the Market Theatre is offering open dance classes. Perhaps youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re harbouring a secret passion for the art form or youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re simply looking for a fun work-out, then this is your opportunity to dust off your dancing shoes and let your hair down. Learn Kasi funk, tap dancing, contemporary dance and body conditioning. The kids can also be part of the fun with added creative fun classes and physical theatre. For more information call Phuti Mojela on 062 022 1384, or visit markettheatre.co.za

Fruit and ďŹ&#x201A;amingo frilled bikini, R229, H&M

MamaMagic, the Baby Expo 31 November â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3 December 2017 The TicketPro Dome, Johannesburg The ultimate expo for all things baby and parenting returns to Joburg this summer. You can look forward to mingling with experts in the field, as well as discounts on the brands you love. The interactive seminars offer expectant moms, and those who are already parents, an opportunity to learn and grow in a supportive environment. Immerse yourself in a world of parenting excellence and be part of the magic! For more information, visit mamamagic.co.za.

honeybunch.co.za Jet jetonline.co.za Just Jump! justjump.co.za Loot loot.com Maxi Kidz maxi-kidz.myshopify. com Mr Price 0800 212 535 mrp.com Netbaby netbaby.co.za Next at Foschini 0860 576 576 Simplicity simplicity.co.za Sportmans Warehouse sportmanswarehouse. co.za Take a Lot takealot.com The Baby Zone thebabyzone.co.za Woolworths 0860 022 002 woolworths.co.za Zara 011 302 1500

Spin & Giggle Giraffe (Bright Starts) R649, Baby City, Toy Zone and independent toy stores

IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY EVENT YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;D LIKE LISTED IN AN UPCOMING EDITION, EMAIL LIVINGANDLOVING@CAXTON.CO.ZA, WITH DIARY LISTING IN THE SUBJECT LINE.

Out&about

Stockists 4 a Kid 4akid.co.za Accessorize 011 880 5922 Ackermans 021 447 7718 ackermans.co.za Baby Group babygroup.co.za Bebe Ruth beberuth.co.za Clicks 0860 254 257 clicks.coza Cotton On 011 268 3700 cottonon.co.za Country Road 0860 022 002 Dis-Chem 0860 347 2436 dischem.co.za An Elf for Christmas H&M 021 826 7300 hm.co.za Hamleys hamleys.com/south. africa Honeybunch

GET A

Samsonite knows that the journey can be just as exciting as the final destination, so why not let your children get involved and pack their own suitcase?

DISCOUNT ON SAMSONITE KIDS’ LUGGAGE! esigned and manufactured to Samsonite’s legendary standards, the range of children’s luggage is perfect for kids on the move, or getting them ready for school. There’s a bag or suitcase to suit every junior globetrotter, starring their favourite Disney, Marvel and Star Wars characters. The kids’ collections include suitcases, perfect for an overnight stay with grandparents, as well as matching school bags, purses and children’s backpacks.

How to redeem your DISCOUNT ONLINE

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

Browse the selection of KIDS items at houseofsamsonite.co.za. Add the items you want to purchase to your basket. Once you’re done shopping, view your shopping card and type the promotional code “LivingLoving” into the coupon box and click “Apply Coupon” to receive 25% off the total amount. Now click “Place Order” to proceed with your order.

Offer valid on regular priced kids items only. Offer only valid online at houseofsamsonite.co.za until end January 2018. The discount voucher may only be used once. Free delivery throughout South Africa. (Delivery may only be done in SA) FB and Instagram @houseofsamsonite

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AN ISLAND PARADISE Xanet van Vuuren recently discovered a hidden paradise in the Riau Archipelago of Indonesia - perfect for a special family holiday or a romantic babymoon.

Club Med Bintan Island

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family fun

Enjoying a well-deser ved cockta il after a 10 and ha lf hour fligh t from Jobu rg.

I tried my hand at the stand-up paddle - easy when you know how!

uring the early third century, Bintan Island, which forms part of Indonesia and is just a short ferry trip from Singapore, was used as a trading post on the route between China and India. Over the years, it came under the control of the Chinese, British, and then the Dutch, when it was declared part of the Dutch East Indies through the Anglo-Dutch Treaty of 1824. In the 12th century, the narrow 890km stretch of water between the Malay Peninsula and the Indonesian island of Sumatra was known as the “Pirate Island” as Malay pirates used to loot trading ships sailing in these waters.

Today, Bintan Island is best known for its beachfront holiday resorts and beautiful white beaches. Indeed, Indonesia is promoting the island as its next best tourist destination after Bali. The breathtaking tropical paradise unfolds before you as you enter the reception area of the Club Med resort – bright blue pools shimmering like diamonds in the sunshine, palm trees everywhere, and little waves lapping at the edge of the most beautiful white sandy beach you’ve ever seen, Even though I was groggyeyed from my long flight from Johannesburg, suffice to say I couldn’t get my bikini on fast enough. There would be no napping for me - I had a gorgeous island to explore!

For more info and bookings, visit clubmed.co.za/r/Bintan-Island/y.

Love sailing? Spend a fun morning on the water with friends.

Fun water activities for the family With so many activities available at Club Med, you won’t hear the kids say, “Mom, I’m bored” even once. If you love the sun and water like I do, you’ll probably be spending a lot of time on the beach. Besides windsurfing and kayaking, I tried my hand at stand-up paddle – it’s an offshoot of surfing that originated in Hawaii – and, let’s be honest, so much easier to master in a short period of time. Instead of waiting for a wave to come your

way (you’ll be waiting forever on Bintan Island as there aren’t any big waves), you stand up on the board and use a paddle to propel yourself through the water. But be warned, once the water gets a little choppier, you might find yourself spending more time in the water than on the board! Of all the water activities, snorkeling was definitely one of the highlights. This is only available in summer, but like me, you’ll spend hours happily floating in the warm water admiring ➥ the colourful fish and beautiful coral.

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DID YO THE R U KNOW IA ? GOL BINTAN WAS F COUR SE DES GAR IGNED B Y PLA Y YER.

What a way to start the day − an early morning yoga session.

Rejuvenate mind and body

At Club Med, the kids always have something fun to do.

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Visit livingandloving.co.za for five must-try activities at the resort.

Club Med resorts provide a global culinary experience.

Island cuisine Dining at Club Med is a culinary experience like nothing you’ve ever seen before. And, of course, all your meals are included with your package, you can go wild. Trust me, with so many dishes to choose from, you’ll need about seven days to get a taste of everything. From Italian and Indian to Chinese and French, your choices are endless, whether you’re having breakfast, lunch or dinner. Snacks are available in the bar throughout the day. After all, so much fresh air and beauty can make you hungry! Club Med’s Bintan Island resort is the perfect family holiday destination!

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

Struggling with jet-lag, a visit to the spa was in order. With beautiful views of a small private beach from the therapy rooms, a massage is highly recommended. There is a wide variety of treatments available, including a traditional Hawaiian massage. People who have experienced the Kahuna Massage say it’s like swimming with dolphins. A bit of a fitness fanatic, I was obviously curious to see which classes and activities are on offer at the fitness centre. I decided that my aim was way too dangerous for archery, and headed to Theo’s ab, bum and thigh blaster class. Theo, who is South African, was a fitness trainer in Joburg before Club Med snatched him up and took him to paradise. Forty-five minutes later, drenched in sweat, I happily wobbled off to my room to get ready for the evening’s activities. Not a gym fan? Yoga classes are available in the palapa overlooking the beach daily. If you’re a golfing enthusiast, the Ria Bintan golf course is easily accessible from the resort.

family fun

Kids’ heaven You can leave your kids at the Kids Club during the day without a worry. With over 40 years’ experience, your little ones will be in excellent hands. How does it work? Club Med offers age-specific clubs and opening hours to allow parents to make the most of their stay while still respecting their children’s desires and sleep patterns. While the Petit Club is available at an extra cost, the Mini Club Med and Junior Club Med is included in your package. Petit Club Med (2-3 years) Open from 8.30am to 5pm daily and again from 6.45pm to 8.30pm, you’ll have plenty of time to relax and rejuvenate while the capable G.Os (Gentil Organisateur) or carers entertain your little ones with a host of different activities during the day. There’s even a special kiddies’ lunch menu and evening activities planned if you want to let your hair down and enjoy the party at the bar. This service is popular, and places are limited, so book your spot early. Mini Club Med is for kids from four to 10 years of age and also offers a host of fun games and activities to keep little ones entertained during the day. For more information on this service and the Junior Club Med, for kids from 11 to 17 years of age, visit livingandloving.co.za. Baby Welcome Service This service is available for guests travelling with a baby and means that on arrival, a camp cot, baby bath, changing mat and baby bath will be in your room and your key card will open the baby room at the resort, which has every piece of equipment your little one could possibly need, as well as a fridge stocked with sweet and savoury pureed foods, juice and yoghurts. Each meal service in the main restaurant has a baby corner with baby-friendly foods as well.

Modern accommodation The Club Med resort has 311 rooms. Built in the local style, they are modern, comfortable and fully equipped with all the bells and whistles like air-conditioning, TV, security safe, shower, kettle and mini bar. The rooms The Club rooms are spacious, sleeping up to four people, with a view of the beautiful gardens and the beach. The Deluxe rooms, sleeping up to five people, are on the first and second floors with spectacular views of the sea. Feel like splurging a little? The Suite rooms sleep up to three people and offer a little something extra to make your stay more memorable. From daily

housekeeping to room service for breakfast, you’ll have an unforgettable holiday. These are also the only rooms with a bath, making these the best option if you’re travelling with a baby. l&l Club Med’s Bintan Island resort is the perfect family holiday destination. Visit clubmed. co.za/r/Bintan-Island/y to book your holiday.

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A promise is a promise By Wendy Hartmann Illustrations by Richard Mackintosh

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torks are those birds with the long orange legs and long orange beaks who ﬂy from north to south and back again. Now, a very long time ago, storks were the noisiest birds in the whole world. They used to talk all the time. By the time they reached Africa on their ﬂight south, each of them was talking about a

different thing, all of them were talking at the same time, and not a single one of them had anything interesting to say.

At midnight the animals gathered together. They whispered the magic words and waited for morning.

If one stork said, “Fish! I love to ﬁsh.”

The next day they were amazed. There was not a sound from the storks and their beaks were shut tightly. At last the animals could hear each other. They were able to talk to each other without having to shout.

Another would say, “I love to fish in water. Water is so wet.” And another would say, “Wet? I hate getting wet.” And so it went on and on … “You’re never dry if you’re wet.” “Wet? Can you fly if you are wet?” “Fly? Why, you just have to flap your wings and you can fly!” And it was those last few words that the ostrich heard. He did not like the storks’ chattering, but he forgot about the noise because the one thing he really wanted to do was fly. So off he went to practise. For days he tried. He ran this way and that. He flapped his wings, but he never lifted off the ground. “That’s it,” he said. “Not only do those storks talk too much, they talk nonsense. They need to be punished.” “We can’t stand it either,” complained the other animals. “Let’s go see the wise lizard.” So off they went to the river. “You want silence?” asked the lizard. “Easy! Just say these words tonight at midnight and you will have silence.” Then he whispered the magic words. “But,” he said, “remember one thing. At midnight on the third day the spell will end. After that you have to come up with your own plan.”

The ostrich was delighted, and so he tried again. He ran about. He flapped his wings and practised to fly in peace and quiet, but he never left the ground. Eventually he went back to the storks. There they sat, huddled together with their feathers fluffed and their beaks shut. “Oh dear,” said the ostrich, “they look so miserable and hungry. They may be irritating, but they have to eat. I wish they could eat without all the talking.” At midday the animals had a meeting. They knew that they had only until midnight to come up with a plan. “If the storks open their beaks now, they’ll talk even more,” said the tortoise. “We have to think of a way to keep those beaks shut,” mumbled the hippo. “But they have to eat,” said the ostrich … and then he had a brilliant idea. Just before midnight the animals gathered around the storks. “Do you want to end the spell that keeps your beaks from opening?” they asked. The storks nodded eagerly.

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“Well, we can arrange that,” said the ostrich, “but ﬁrst, you have to make a promise, and a promise is something that can NEVER be broken.” Even the storks knew that. One by one they nodded and agreed to promise whatever the ostrich asked. The midnight owl hooted. The storks were ready to open their beaks and chatter in excitement when the ostrich stood straight. “Now,” he said, “remember your promise.” The storks nodded again. “You will each promise NEVER EVER to speak another word.”

The storks’ beaks dropped open in shock, but they had just made a promise. And, of course, they had to do what they had promised. From that day on storks have been silent. You will still see them clacking their beaks together pretending to make a noise, but a promise is a promise and they have not broken their promise yet. You will also still see the ostrich running at full speed, flapping his wings trying to fly. But, to this day he has never been able to. And because of their promise not to speak, the storks cannot tell him that ostriches do not fly. l&l

Choose one of the birds from the story and use scrap materials to make the bird. Try using sticks, leaves, feathers, coloured paper and used cardboard boxes to create your bird.

Share more stories with Nal’ibali This story was provided courtesy of the Nal’ibali reading-for-enjoyment campaign. To read the story in another South African language, or for literacy activities, reading tips and more stories to enjoy with your children, visit: nalibali.org, nalibli.mobi or find them on Facebook: facebook.com/nalibaliSA and on Twitter: @nalibaliSA.

Fateful joy Sheryl Thiel shares the inspiring story of how an unexpected turn of events helped fulfil her dream of becoming a mom. fter a divorce, I found myself single and childless at the age of 38. I knew with all my heart that I was destined to be a mom and wanted a baby before I turned 40. Finding a new life partner was proving difficult, however, so I started doing research to find alternative options. I looked into using a sperm donor, and received a list of potential donors from the fertility clinic. In July of 2011, a friend mentioned that he wanted to introduce me to someone he knew who had been divorced for just over a year. I agreed to the meeting, but with absolutely no expectations. To my surprise, we hit it off and our friendship turned into a relationship. But now I was faced with a dilemma – I really liked him, but he already had four kids and I was doubtful that he would be prepared to have more. I initiated what I thought was going to be a difficult conversation; expressing my concern that although I really liked him and wanted to pursue a relationship, my desire to be a mom was greater. I told him about my plans to use a sperm donor and made it clear that I didn’t expect him to stick around. His response surprised me – he said he wasn’t going anywhere and was quite prepared to be the donor!

COMPILED BY THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

After six months of dating, we decided to try for a baby. Unfortunately, falling pregnant wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be and in October 2012 I went to the fertility clinic again to find out why I wasn’t falling pregnant. After numerous tests, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and was booked in for a laparoscopy. The doctor suggested I try for another three months after the operation, and if nothing happened, then we would have to explore other options. I discovered I was pregnant in January 2013. My pregnancy went fairly well, with just a few minor complications and hospital stays along the way. Our

little girl arrived on 15 August 2013, four weeks earlier than expected. She was in the neonatal intensive care unit for two weeks, but we got to take her home before my 40th birthday, which was the best present I could have asked for. We named her Cassidy Joy, because it sounds strong and she beat the odds to make it into this world. She is a vibrant, energetic little girl and I can’t imagine my life without her. l&l

WIN WITH SUDOCREM This month’s winner will receive a Sudocrem hamper worth R2 500. For more than 80 years, Sudocrem has been caring for your baby’s delicate skin, preventing, soothing and treating nappy rash. The unique formula works in three ways; the emollient effect soothes sore skin; the cooling properties ease discomfort of sensitive skin problems; and the cream forms a protective barrier to prevent irritants from coming into contact with the skin. Sudocrem can also be used by the whole family to soothe insect bites, rashes and sports chaﬁng.

SHA YOURE STO R AN RY WIND

Email your story to livingandloving@caxton.co.za with ‘Real Life’ in the subject line. *See standard Terms & Conditions on pg. 3.

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Little fighter M

y son Tristen arrived 16 weeks early, weighing only 725g. The chances of him surviving were slim to none – he was so small that he reminded me of a little bird that had fallen out of its nest. We were worried that the ventilator wouldn’t be small enough for him and when he had a blood transfusion, the doctors only needed to use one teaspoon of blood. Then one day our worst fears came true - we were told that Tristen had severe brain damage. We went for a second opinion, but were given exactly the same news – Tristen would never eat, walk or do anything for himself. For three long months, I expressed milk and lived from one visiting hour to the next until my baby boy finally came home. We transformed his room into a mini intensive care unit (ICU) as he needed consistent oxygen and we had to monitor his breathing. By the time Tristen was a year old, he had already undergone three operations. From a shunt to a hernia and a heart op – he survived them all! Tristen then started talking at the age of three and walking at the age of five, which was a complete miracle. His development may have been slow, but it was nothing compared to what the doctors had predicted. In fact, my baby boy soon developed into a charming toddler. His bright and sunny personality warmed the hearts of all he encountered. When the time came to choose a

school, we struggled to find one, but eventually met a teacher who had a passion for special-needs children and offered Tristen a place in her school. It was all perfect except for one thing – it was an Afrikaans school and we are English-speaking. We sent Tristen anyway and he is now fully bilingual. The past year has been another tough one and a stark reminder of what we went through when Tristen was a baby. The shunt that was put in stopped working and we almost lost our boy… again. He spent 42 days in hospital – 38 of which were in ICU, but he survived because he’s a fighter and a survivor. A month later, he was back in hospital with a

ruptured appendix and spent another two weeks in hospital. Nobody gave Tristen much hope, but he continues to touch so many people’s lives! He always reminds me to see the bright side of life and although he walks with a walker, you’ll hear him saying “beep, beep” as he navigates his way through a crowd of people. l&l

WIN WITH PURITY & ELIZABETH ANNE’S This month’s winner will receive a Purity & Elizabeth Anne’s hamper,

SH YOARE STO UR AN RY WIND

including a selection of products and a special surprise, worth R3 000. Purity supports you through every step of your pregnancy, birth and your baby’s formative years, from bedtime, bathtime and mealtime and everything in-between. It offers a range of products for moms-to-be, babies and toddlers for nutrition, care and health. For more information, visit purity. co.za and Facebook.com/PurityBaby.

Email your story to livingandloving@caxton.co.za with “Birth Story” in the subject line. *See standard Terms & Conditions on pg. 3.

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COMPILED BY THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

Sonia Alexandre recounts how her son beat the odds after doctors said he wouldn’t survive.

KIDS’ ESSENTIALS Kirsten Davids’ round-up of products to make your life easier. Plus, kids will love them too.

AN ELF FOR CHRISTMAS

l ove t his!

With the holiday season just a few weeks away, this product will bring back the magic of Christmas while helping to promote good behaviour and encouraging family interaction. Each Elf comes with a Christmas Reward Kit that includes an arrival letter from Santa explaining Elf’s role in the home, a reward chart and stickers, mini report cards and certificates that are used to promote kindness and good behaviour. The Elf, with help from Mom or Dad, “comes alive” at night and your little one will wake up excited to see what their Elf has been up to while they were sleeping. Available from elfforchristmas.co.za for R495.

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED; GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK

DRY EARS With summer here, you and your kids are sure to be spending more time in the water, but trapped water in your ears can lead to painful ear infections. SwimSeal is a unique product that acts just like ear plugs, and requires you to put two or three drops in each ear before getting into the water. This will keep your child’s ears sealed and the water out for up to three hours. It can be reapplied as needed. Available from Dis-Chem, Clicks and most pharmacies for R65.

Go for a stroll The new super lightweight, safe and sturdy stroller Piuleggero by Foppapedretti is perfect for the mom on the go. The stroller weighs just 3.6kg and can be opened, closed and pushed with just one hand. Suitable from birth until your child is about three years old, or weighs 15kg, the extendable and removable canopy has UPF50+ protection and the fabric shields your baby from the sun’s ultraviolet rays with 98% protection. It has a five-point safety belt as well as an adjustable backrest and footrest. Available from Hamleys, takealot. com, loot.com, simplicity.co.za and thebabyzone.co.za for R5 299. l&l

TRIED & TRUSTED Woodward’s understands that motherhood is not always a fairytale and that there can be worrying moments when baby seems inconsolable and you feel overwhelmed. Woodward’s Gripe Water is a tried and trusted medicine that comforts infants with gripes by neutralising acid and relieving gas in the digestive tract so that you can enjoy more Magical Moments of Motherhood. Woodward’s is available without a prescription from pharmacies and supermarkets nationwide.

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MOMS’ ESSENTIALS Kirsten Davids’ round-up of products to make your life easier.

FRESH AND CLEAN

A nutritious diet is essential for a mom-to-be or a breastfeeding mom. Mom2B Pregnancy Shakes are an affordable meal supplement that offers all the micro- and macronutrients needed by you and your baby. The shakes are low in fat, so no unnecessary calories are added to your diet and it can be mixed with either milk or water. To make life just a little easier, they are available in convenient single-serving packs. Available from Dis-Chem and selected pharmacies from R80 for ﬁve 50g sachets.

JUST FOR MOM The one thing moms value most, other than their families, is time, so we’re grateful for any beauty product that does three jobs in one. NIVEA Perfect & Radiant Micellar 3-in-1 cleansing water deep cleans and gently removes makeup while refreshing and toning your skin. Micellar cleansing water works like a magnet to lift dirt and make-up off the skin, leaving it smooth with no oily film remaining. It’s gentle enough to be used daily. Available from Clicks, Dis-Chem for R99.99 for 400ml.

EASY BREATHING When the weather is dry, there is an increased chance that you and your little one will experience dry eyes and skin, and itchy noses. A humidifier can ease these symptoms since humidity reduces the survival of flu viruses in the air and on surfaces. With the Vicks CoolMist Mini Ultrasonic Humidifier, your family will breathe easy and enjoy a better night’s sleep. It also features an antibacterial cartridge that removes impurities from the water. The demineralisation cartridge also ensures that there is no output of minerals from hard water. An added benefit is that a Vicks VapoPad can be inserted to gently aid congestion. Available from Dis-Chem Pharmacies for R749. l&l

lovheis! t

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PHOTOGRAPHY GALLO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCK; SUPPLIED. PRICES CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRINT

GOOD FOR YOU

Keeping your family’s hands clean can help prevent the spread of illnesses. Cuticura has been a trusted brand for many generations and has recently added a herbal hand wash to their range. The new addition contains tea-tree oil and aloe vera, and is formulated to cleanse and protect your hands, leaving them clean, healthy and refreshed. The pump action ensures that just the right amount of soap is distributed, so keep one next to the sink and in each bathroom for a healthier home. Available from leading retailers for R27.99.

Fabulous giveaways

S CH TAND A A WINNCE T OF ONE O T PRI HESE ZES !

PLAY-TIME HAMPERS Little Tikes’ brand-new range is perfect for infants and toddlers, and is now available at leading toy stores and retailers countrywide. Little Tikes toys are full of colour and encourage active and imaginative play for younger kids. The products are made specifically to get small bodies moving, spark curiosity, create wonder, and allow kids to dream big. For more information, visit primatoys.co.za Two lucky winners will each receive one Little Tikes hamper worth R2 200 each. KEYWORD:TIKESNOV

ORGANISED ON THE GO Whether your family outing is fishing, hiking, swimming or just chilling in the fresh air, GLAD will help you to make any outdoor activity special. Here are just a few fun ideas: ● Turn any cup into a travel cup by simply sealing the top of the cup with Glad Press ‘n Seal and sticking a straw through it – no more unexpected spills from your little one. ● Use GLAD Ice Cube Bags to keep your cooler box cold at picnics and braais, plus use them to add ice-cubes to cool drinks. Glad is giving away four hampers worth R1 000 each. KEYWORD: GLADNOV

TREAT YOUR SKIN The Vitaderm range combines the latest advances in ingredient technology with skin nutrients and phyto-extracts to achieve maximum therapeutic benefits. The multi-active formulations incorporate new-generation actives such as hyaluronic acid, glutathione, arbutin as well as protein peptides to actively renew your skin’s vitality. The range is free of parabens, petrochemicals as well as artificial colours and fragrances. In addition, Vitaderm is not tested on animals and does not contain any animal-derived ingredients. Vitaderm is giving away two hampers worth R2 000 each. KEYWORD: VITADERMNOV

WHAT A DOLL!

PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

Our Generation girls dream big, live loud and let their imaginations soar. Let your child’s creativity be inspired by the variety of Our Generation’s specialised dolls and watch her imagination go wild as she uses chalk or glitter to dress up her doll. Your little one will have such fun and hours of entertainment pampering her Our Generation Pia Hair Grow doll with a custom-made bath and accessory set. Our Generation is giving away three Pia Hair Grow Doll and Bath set hampers worth R1 400 each. KEYWORD: GIRLSNOV

HOW TO ENTER SMS the keyword as well as your name, postal address, email address and ID number to 48407 (each SMS costs R1.50, incorrect keywords sent will be billed. Free SMSs do not apply). Entries close 30 November 2017. See pg.3 for Terms and Conditions that apply. Prize detail correct at time of print.

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WE CARE he Anna Foundation is a non-proﬁt organisation with the primary objective of addressing the educational and social needs of rural children in the Western Cape. The children are offered lifelong learning in order to build their self-esteem. It reaches its objective by using the three Rs programme: Reading, Running and Righting. In order for the children to become part of the running club, they have to read two books per week. Righting was introduced to address the importance of positive self-esteem and selfworth through drama education. The Anna Foundation also offers parent workshops and training to teach parents different ways of stimulating their kids’ minds at home. Parents and caregivers are taught to read with their children and to create an environment

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conducive to learning and growing. Social issues, including pregnancy, alcohol and sexual abuse, and discipline, are also discussed at the teenage workshops. Women from the rural communities are trained as facilitators, and then work closely with the children to implement the programme. Ongoing training is also provided – an effective way to empower and uplift women in the community.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ● Make a monetary donation ● Become a support runner ● Volunteer your time ● Assist with fundraisers For further information, call 021 885 1922 or email info@annafoundation.com.

SPAR is giving this month’s charity, the Anna Foundation, a R5 500 voucher to help in its efforts to provide support to children in need. A community can be anyone. It can be all the neighbours in your street, and it can be a group of mothers trying to provide the best they can for their loved ones. SPAR acknowledges that no matter what, hundreds of communities out there rely on each other to get by. SPAR celebrates being a part of these communities. l&l

COMPILED BY THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY SUPPLIED

This month, we feature the Anna Foundation in the Western Cape.

celebrity chat

WHAT’S COOKING? Celebrity chef Siba Mtongana is as enthusiastic about family as she is about her delightful dishes! She’s a wife, mom and career woman, and she serves love with a smile.

My husband Brian and three kids, Lonwabo (ﬁve), Lina (three) and Buhle, (19 months) are my world! I’m also a business woman, so I lead a very busy life and I absolutely love it. It’s important to prioritise, take the time to plan well, and put all your energy into the task at hand. We should never sacrifice quality just because we’re busy, be it the time I am spending with my kids, or developing a new recipe - the same principles apply. It’s not easy or perfect, but it is achievable. I didn’t experience morning sickness during any of my pregnancies. I had great pregnancies – I actually filmed two of the Siba’s Table seasons while I was pregnant. Nothing beats a pregnancy glow, and I was quite lucky because I work with food, imagine trying to work while permanently ill! That would’ve been devastating for me. Good nutrition during pregnancy is not only important for yourself, but for your unborn child too. When I was pregnant, I made sure that I took my vitamins, exercised, and

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C atch Siba’s Table DynameicveDrJyZTinhuhlersisday at 8pm on a T V personal Food Netamwbaorsskad, D or anSdtthv eCcoh-faounnndeerl 1of75 ity, brand Fuse. Academy. ate good, nutritious food, with a few naughty indulgences. Sushi was my biggest craving, specifically sashimi, but I felt awful afterwards. Lesson learnt, don’t always give into the cravings! We just love having another girl in our family. I’m enjoying not being the only girl anymore, and it’s fascinating how her personality has evolved. The kids are wonderful together. Lonwabo and Buhle are carbon copies of each other, and Lina is more laid-back like his dad. My relationship with each of my children is very different, as are their needs, wants and personalities. Each journey will be unique and different, which I just love! Almost everything that I do this time around will differ from the first and second time. I believe in positive afﬁrmations from a young age. This is very important in our household, so my kids are very confident. I encourage curiosity, and my kids question everything. That being said, I am very firm when it comes to mutual respect. The kitchen is one space where my creative juices ﬂow freely, and cooking is such a great stress reliever! On the other hand, time outside

SIBA’S TIPS FOR MAKING EASYTO-PREP, WHOLESOME MEALS ● Keep it simple. Beautiful meals don’t need to be complicated. ● Incorporate healthy choices into every meal. ● Encourage your family members to make good, healthy choices. ● Take time to focus on good presentation, and half the job is done. ● Get the kids involved at every stage. It’s easier to get their buy-in if they feel that they were part of the process.

WORDS THOBEKA PHANYEKO PHOTOGRAPHY ANDILE MTHEMBU COURTESY OF BONA MAGAZINE

iba sees food as a way to show and share love, and create memories with family. Scores of foodies around the world tune in to the Food Network to watch her showcase her culinary skills and busy moms appreciate her simple, yet sophisticated, approach to cooking. Here, she shares what’s on her table.