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www.thevillagenews.co.za
FROM THE EDITOR
11 November 2020
Path to recovery lies before us
The decision by developers to go ahead with the construction next year of a new business park next to Hawston should be an indication of the level of trust businesses have in the economy of the Overstrand. At a time when everyone is under severe economic strain and the impact of the pandemic is still with us, we need to welcome all new business opportunities. Not only will this development allow for new businesses to open in our region, it will also create much-needed new jobs.
As Pres Cyril Ramaphosa said this week, we are in a period of transition from relief to recovery. “The emergency measures that were put in place have laid a firm foundation on which to rebuild the economy. We are seeing new funding commitments for infrastructure development.
The decision to develop the business park reflects this and it is hoped that it will be the first of many new developments to see the light of day in the not-too-distant future. Some of the proposed developments in our area include the housing developments at Schulphoek and the Sandbaai Common, the De Mond land that must again go out on tender, as well as the Marina Boat Club in Fisherhaven.
A number of employment programmes under the Presidential Employment Stimulus have also started and we are pushing ahead with economic reforms in areas such as energy and telecommunications,” said the president.
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It was noticeable that the developers complimented the municipality on the cooperation they received during the planning process. The municipality has
already said it will intensify efforts to reduce red tape and make it easier to do business in the Overstrand. If red tape can be reduced and public-private partnerships can be made easily accessible to the private sector, the Overstrand will become a sought-after destination for tourists and investors. Together with the provincial government’s campaign that launched last week to establish the Western Cape as the ‘Tech Capital’ of the continent, the Overstrand can only be a winner. This is the good NEWS – Ed.
To blow or not to blow and the Phantom squash box
THE VILLAGE
De Waal Steyn
These developments have the potential to unlock hundreds of millions of Rand in our economy. Pushing to attract
businesses, especially in the IT sector, to our region will result in many new and exciting opportunities. Our region has so much to offer and it needs to be marketed as an economically and socially stable area. To do this, it will require all of us to work together to ensure that we keep on moving forward in a sustainable and responsible manner.
By Murray Stewart murray.stewart49@gmail.com
T
he For Fact’s Sake columns are – according to Google and the Duck ’n Fiddle’s Explanation of Everything – based in truth. Occasionally, however, names and places have been changed to protect innocent people involved. Blowing up a storm
started blowing up water bottles willy-nilly.
Men are worse at this than women.
Soon he aspired to greater heights, and started inflating motor car tyres. Before long he’d progressed to the odd tractor or lorry tyre. Quite why he did this is unclear, but he reckoned that God had given him this... um... talent, so he’d be silly not to exploit it. He would inhale through his nose and exhale into a tube/pipe in his mouth, which seemed simple enough to him, so he set his sights on more outlandish challenges.
To emphasise a point, some make a fist and bang away at an imaginary punch bag. Others flap both arms about like they’re drowning and hailing a lifeguard, and some could be mistaken for ‘air-conducting’ the Phantom Philharmonic Orchestra.
Blowing into what looked like a Kreepy-Krauly pipe, he managed to inflate a thick rubber balloon beneath a three-ton SUV until the two front tyres lifted clean off the ground. In between breaths, when inhaling through his nose, the pressure from that balloon coming back through the pipe into his body was enormous. Most of us would have simply exploded as if we’d swallowed a hand grenade. But not our Brian.
Most people, whether they’re smokers or not, can inflate a kid’s party balloon without any problem. A couple more puffs and you could easily burst it if you wanted to frighten the younger ones. Now how about trying that with a hot-water bottle. These charming little bed pals are 12 times thicker than a balloon, and are specially designed not to burst. This is encouraging. Nobody wants to share their sheets with something that could perhaps explode boiling water all over the family jewels while you slept. Yikes! (Latin: slumberati scaldem scrotus eish!)
But a new category of arm-gymnastics during speeches has recently emerged. It’s known as the ‘air concertina’ and it’s easily performed. Simply extend both hands forward a little with the palms facing each other. Bingo! You have the starting position for an air-concertina solo, and how you suck-and-blow is up to you.
Phantom ‘Krismiswurms’
For tips, though, it’s worth watching some of the impromptu performances by none other than the Toxic Orange representing the USA, who created the genre in the first place and is the current Air Concertina World Champion. “Nobody comes even close to beating me,” he said shyly. “If they do, it’s been rigged, it’s a hoax and I’ll take them to court. I hand-picked the judges myself for serious cases like this, so I’ll never lose.”
Most politicians wave their arms around when making speeches. These moves are either instinctive or carefully choreographed, but they’re an essential part of the body language necessary to drive home a particular idea.
Sadly, being referred to now as a ‘lame duck’ president, we’re likely to see less of these virtuoso performances during press briefings, but thankfully there’s a new dish on the menu – Lame Duck à l’Orange.
His latest achievement was a five-ton pantechnicon which even a helicopter couldn’t lift. This cemented his place in the Guinness Book of World Records, and earned him the nickname Mr Blow. Job well done, Brian, your mother must be very proud.
Anyway, meet Brian Jackson from Oklahoma. He saw a Ripley’s Believe it or Not TV programme, where some guy did in fact blow up a hot-water bottle, and decided to give it a try. He’s a short chap, around 40, with a large barrel chest which affords him 26% more lung capacity than we regular folks. Exactly how they measure that is a mystery, but our Mr Jackson took full advantage of this abnormality and
Then there are those who swat imaginary flies, and others who follow a more stylised routine, like the guys with the ping-pong bats guiding aeroplanes into their parking bays.
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