Farmer Ella and the Glass Boot
There once was a girl named Ella, who lived on a farm and helped her father with farm chores. Her mother died in a tragic car accident one day. She was on her way home from the post office picking up her latest shipment of packages.
Years later, her father remarried a lazy woman, who didn’t like to get her hands dirty. She had a daughter, who was also lazy and didn’t like to get her hands dirty. He died shortly after their marriage due to a heart attack in the field.
Since her mother and father were both dead, her stepmother forced Ella to do all of the chores in the house as well as all of the chores on the farm. The stepmother and stepsister called her Farmer Ella, because she was “just soooo good at doing all of the work.”
One day a flyer came in the mail announcing the annual John Deere Fair. The other women in the house paid no mind to it until Ella read aloud to herself that the heir to the John Deere monarchy, Jeremy Deere, would be in attendance.
The stepmother immediately snatched the flyer out of Ella’s hands and began to plot and scheme for her own daughter to marry into the monarchy. Ella voiced her wishes to attend the Fair as well.
Her stepsister mocked her, saying, “You, want to go to the Fair to meet THE Jeremy Deere? Oh Farmer Ella you have got to stop daydreaming so much! What would he want with a smelly old girl like you, who reeks of hot manure all the time?”
Ella’s stepmother chimed in and said, “Of course you can go, Ella, as long as you spin the cotton into rope,
vacuum the barn, mend the break in the fence, clean the pool filter, remulch the garden, fix the leaky faucet in the bathrooms, and sort out this Mexican cheese blend into separate color containers. Oh and find a ride, of course.”
And with that, her stepmother and stepsister went off to prepare for the Fair with a full spa day. Ella was tired of doing all the work on the farm and broke down in the barn, sobbing to her favorite pet cow about the new tasks she had to complete before she could go to the ball.
The cow looked at her dead in the eyes and said, “I can fix all of your problems, Ella. It is I, your Mother, The Cow.”
Ella looked at the cow like one of them was going insane.
“Did you just speak? Am I going crazy? Did you just say that you are my mother?!” Ella exclaimed. 4
“Yes I am speaking, no you are not going crazy, yes I am your mother, and yes I can solve all of your problems so you can go to the ball and meet that tall, handsome, and dreamy, 6 foot 5, blonde hair and blue eyed, Jeremy Deere,” Her Mother The Cow said.
Ella could not believe her ears.
“How are you going to help me, eat that pile of cotton and shit out rope?” Ella said sarcastically.
“Watch your language young lady! And no, don’t be ridiculous, poop out rope? That’s crazy. I’m going to buy the rope on Shamazon, of course,” Her Mother The Cow explained.
Ella was wary, but she was desper ate enough to get out of the house and attend the Fair that she would do just about anything this crazy cow that was allegedly her mother, wanted.
“What about vacuuming the barn and house, mending the break in the
fence, cleaning the pool filter, re-mulching the garden, fixing the leaky faucet in the bathrooms, and sorting out the Mexican cheese blend into separate color containers?” Ella asked.
Her Mother The Cow thought for a second, and whipped out her iPhone 14 Pro Max, tap tapping away furiously with her hoof. A few minutes later she put her put her phone down and said, “Alright dear, it must be your lucky day, I got same day delivery on everything! I ordered rope and a Roomba from Shamazon, mulch from Blowes Home Improvement, 2 faucets from Dome Depot, a pool filter from Face Hardware, Cheddar, Monterey Jack, and Queso Blanco shredded cheese packs from Tallmart, and fencing from Tractor Supply Company. Thank God they deliver straight to our doorstep now!” The cow shuddered, as if remembering a chilling moment.
At the end of the day, Ella finally finished all of the tasks that her stepmother had given her, thanks to the speedy delivery from Her Mother The Cow’s purchases. She walked back into the barn and found a beautiful bright red dress and gorgeous pair of sparkling glass cowboy boots waiting for her.
“What’s all this?” She asked. Her Mother The Cow beamed at her. “Oh, it’s nothing, I just did you a favor and ordered a new dress and boots for you from Mooingdale’s. Go on, try them on! You have a fair to get to!”
Ella quickly put them on and remembered the last task on her stepmother’s long list.
“Wait! I need a ride to the Fair,” She said.
“Not a problem,” Her Mother The Cow replied, pulling out her iPhone 14 Pro Max once again. “Let me just order you a Tuber. It will be here in 5 minutes.”
As Ella climbed into the Tuber, Her Mother The Cow called out to her, “Wait! Remember to be home by midnight tonight, we must return that dress and boots back to Mooingdale’s! Make sure you don’t lose that tag!”
At the Fair, Ella stepped out of the Tuber and immediately made eye contact with Jeremy. The whole world slowed to a pause and everyone else around them started to disappear. Ella couldn’t even tell you what else was at the fair. The two walked towards each other and met in the middle of the dance floor.
“May I have this dance?” Jeremy asked, just as a slow song started. Ella nodded and the two swayed to the music, everyone around them parting and watching until they were dancing in the center circle of a crowd.
Out of the corner of her eye, Ella could see her stepmother and stepsister eyeing her jealously, but she couldn’t tell if they recognized her since she wasn’t in her overalls and was wearing a dress for the first time since she had met them.
Turning her attention back to Jeremy, the two locked eyes as the music turned into a lively line dance song. Ella smirked at Jeremy and stole the cowboy hat off his head, placing it atop of hers, before launching into a line dance with the crowd. Ella and Jeremy danced all night long until the clock struck midnight.
Amidst the 12 gongs, Ella looked down to see that she received 5 missed calls and 15 missed texts from Her Mother The Cow, the latest text reading “HOME. NOW. BOOTS. DRESS. RETURN!!! TUBER WAITING OUTSIDE.”
Ella cursed to herself and rushed off at once, losing Jeremy in the crowd. 10
“Wait!” He exclaimed, “What’s your name? Can I get your Snapchat?” he yelled towards her, but it was too late, Ella was already stepping into the Tuber that had delivered her earlier in the night, not noticing that she lost her glass cowboy boot in the mud. Jeremy picked it up and inspected the average sized boot, vowing to find the pretty girl he had danced with all night long.
Ella arrived home and ran into the barn, immediately apologizing to Her Mother The Cow, changing out of her dress and taking off her boots when she realized one was missing!
Ella started panicking and sweating as the cow started yelling about how if they didn’t return the boots they would owe $10,000 to Mooingdale’s and how her father had left her a good chunk of money in her inheritance but not THAT much money.
Ella, also realizing that she still had Jeremy’s hat on, quickly took it off and put it on the cow’s head, changing back into her old work clothes. Running back into the house, she made it just in time as her stepmother and stepsister pulled into the driveway. When they walked in and saw Ella, sweating and in her old work clothes, the stepsister said, “Look, there’s Farmer Ella, I told you she couldn’t have been the one hogging Jeremy all night at the Fair.” Ella ignored her stepsister and said she was exhausted from doing all the work in the house and went to bed.
The next morning, she woke up to a polite knock on the front door, followed by her stepsister squealing about God knows what at six o’clock in the morning. She went down to inspect the source of the noise and saw Jeremy standing there with her other glass cowboy boot, her sister steadying herself on one foot ready to try it on.
She gasped, barreled down the stairs and pushed her stepsister out of the way, grabbing the glass cowboy boot and ran straight to the barn.
Confused to say the least, Jeremy followed her into the barn and saw Ella and the cow frantically wrapping the glass cowboy boots and a red dress up in a Mooingdale’s box.
He noted his missing cowboy hat on the cow and realized that Ella must be the mysterious girl from the night before. Jeremy told Ella to not worry about the boots, he would take care of them and write it off as a John Deere purchase, and asked Ella out on a date: a gourmet artisan picnic with live music, followed by a tractor ride into the sunset. Ella smiled and said yes.