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GUEST COMMENTARY
Buying Time The Rev. Dr. Renée Tembeckjian
It all starts so early, doesn’t it? Even in early summer, the “Back to School” specials point us toward September, and we already see paper skeletons and bags of candy signaling Halloween. Before the first autumn leaf shows even hint of color, the marketplace presses us toward December, urging us to hurry our varied holiday preparations – to set the candles, buy the presents, decorate our spaces, play the music, and prepare the special foods of our family and cultural traditions. Meanwhile, so many of us live in a blur of deadlines and activities. Communications constantly fly by text, email, and social media. Information is processed so instantly that we expect all our questions to be answered in a nanosecond (Just Google it). Under such relentless pressure of rate and pace, even the most cherished holiday gatherings might feel like “just another thing” to get through, sometimes accompanied by a sigh of relief when it’s over. Family life, work life, even our inner life, may become so crammed among other things, that we barely remember how to pause for a deep breath, have a deep conversation, or just allow ourselves to daydream. We seem to have mastered the hurry up part of life, but as for the waiting part, well, not so much. Then came the pandemic… and the seemingly endless waiting that came with it, personally, locally, nationally, and globally. As quarantines narrowed our range of movement, what many of missed and most dearly wanted was certainly not more stuff. What we desired was Time. Especially at the holidays, how we longed for in-person time with loved ones, to greet someone with a hug or kiss, to offer a handshake of thanks to a frontline worker, teacher, public servant, or volunteer. How we missed learning in a classroom, cheering at a game, or sharing a meal. And, perhaps most poignantly, we were brokenhearted when we could not be present at the bedside of a dear one who left this life before those doors opened. At the same time, we might give thanks that even in a pandemic, we have discovered some important lessons. We learned that technology cannot replace human presence, but it can help bridge the gap and soften our sense of loneliness. We are hopefully more aware and respectful of the differences in experience and opportunity within the human family. We may better appreciate the importance of self-care, mental health support, and our need to reach out for help and support from the community around us. So, as this 2021 holiday season approaches, let’s not allow the marketplace to define what should matter to us and rush us through it. Instead, let us honor all we have endured and learned thus far by remembering that the most valuable “presence” we can offer is not the stuff of boxes and bows. What makes our holiday celebrations sacred is never how much we buy, but always how much we give…and Time is the most precious gift. May you and yours find new and simpler ways to give “presence” this year, and with that, may your holiday season be ever more deeply blessed.
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The Rev. Dr. Renée Tembeckjian is a NY State Licensed Psychologist and Rector of Trinity Episcopal Church, Fayetteville. DECEM BER 2021
HOLI DAY/GIVI N G BACK EDITION
