Self Care

A trend, a buzzword, a passing fad - self care has been called many things, but increasingly these days itś a tool for self-preservation.

Why is self-care such a challenge? Knowing how important it is to take care of ourselves, why do we struggle so o en to nd the time or the energy to do it? Sometimes even to be kind to ourselves?

Chances are, when you think of self-care, you picture any number of hobbies or activities you would love to t into your day if only you had the time: massages, pedicures, a swim, a sunrise meditation. Social media is awash with smoothies, mantras and wellness rituals that are guaranteed to revolutionize your life. But while these pursuits are undoubtedly positive and bene cial, theyŕe only a part of your self-care story.

e real challenge of self-care comes with learning to listen to yourself so that you can gure out your needs and address them. Feeling frazzled a er a di cult day? Perhaps ten minutes standing in the back yard with a warm drink would give you the chance to reset. Struggling to get going a er a particularly bad night’s sleep? Maybe take a few moments to sit quietly and focus on your breath.

Finding a balance of di erent self-care rituals that t with the way you feel and what your body is telling you means giving yourself permission to do whatever you need to at that moment, without feeling sel sh. Whether that’s letting o steam, taking a little time to be alone, exercising or enjoying a piece of chocolate cake - it’s about what’s happening inside of you. Your well-being and wellness come rst. It’s time to make time for yourself.

What gi can you give yourself?

to be emotionally strong and she must still provide for them, but with less adult contact and outside support it’s a daily struggle.

Recognizing that her feelings were beginning to act against her well-being, she looked for a way to provide a boost to her day, a mental injection of positivity. She created her own self-care box. is act is practical, positive and proactive. She said: ¨I have to be my own advocate. My mental health has to come rst otherwise I cannot be there for my children. ey’re anxious and worried about the future of course, we all are, but if all I want to do is hide away and shut out the world, I can’t do anything to help them.¨

Jo’s box is a simple but e ective gi to herself. Her favourite chocolate, a book, candles, some reminders of great vacations and times with her children. A few notes written to herself reminding her of her own self-worth become renegade acts of self-care that will see her through turbulent times.

Acts of self-care will di er for every family, couple, or single set-up. It’s o en seen as a deeply feminine term something men might struggle to access or apply to themselves. A concept that perhaps has run its course as wider society accepts the vital importance of robust mental health.

Eat well and sleep soundly

If you nd yourself struggling but trapped in a circle of putting others rst, consider how instigating self-care isn’t just applicable in a domestic context, but is o en a hallmark of great leaders. Daphna Horowtiz, author, keynote speaker, and leadership coach, writes in her article, Leaders: Put Your Own Oxygen Masks on First: ¨How can you be at the top of your game if you aren’t meeting your own needs rst? You will only be able to provide quality guidance and support by making sure you are physically and mentally able to do so. For this, you need to be well-rested, hydrated and ready to conquer each day with renewed energy. By refueling yourself, you’re ensuring that you are giving the best version of yourself as a leader to your team.

Taking care of the basics is a theme that dominates writing on self-care and for good reason. What you eat a ects your sleep, how you sleep a ects your appetite, how you drink a ects both. Your body is a beautiful, complex machine whose interactive parts work both independently and in harmony with each other. Neglect one element and the rest begin to groan under the weight of bearing the load. You all know that even one bad night’s sleep can a ect your decision making process, leaving you sluggish and craving energy-laden snacks just to make it through the day.

Eat, sleep, hydrate. ree gi s you can give to yourself. Of course, you will want to break these headings down further into subheadings. What are you eating? When? And how does your choice of food make your body feel? Choosing food that gives you sustenance and nutrition, thatś the goal.

Exercise yourself … and your mind

Taking care of your physical needs rst lights the touch paper. It leads naturally into caring for your mental and emotional needs. at time you took to go for a long walk, listen to a podcast, and be out in nature, that way taking care of your mind as well as your body. Just the act of carving out time for yourself, thatś putting your oxygen mask on.

Putting aside feelings of guilt is also essential if self-care is to ourish. If going for a long run gives you back clarity of mind, helps you to fuel, hydrate, and sleep, then everyone bene ts. Everyone might mean your children, your partner, your teammates or colleagues, but this well-rested, properly nourished version of you is nothing to feel guilty about. is version of you can give more, feel less stressed and anxious, this version of you can be the leader, parent, or partner you want to be.

Once these basics are well within your grasp, you have the power to look at what else in your life might constitute an act of self-love. How about a subscription to a movie channel, joining an online book club, or signing up for a gym class. You might explore meditation or mindfulness, or create other daily habits that provide you with a sense of peace.

Recognize your emotions

When it comes to self-care, your emotional needs can be just as important as physical and mental ones. Acknowledging and accepting all of your emotions, even those you would rather suppress, takes e ort, but being able to welcome sadness, anxiety, anger or regret is a vital step on the path to self-love.

Next time you feel an ¨unwelcome¨ emotion, try this exercise: Notice - simply acknowledge what you are feeling, however uncomfortable that may be, without attempting to push it away. Can you give the emotion a name? Note it here.

Accept - open your mind to the emotion and give yourself permission to feel it. Try not to judge the emotion as ¨good¨ or ¨bad.¨ Simply let it be.

Examine - now start to view the emotion with curiosity. Is the emotion a ecting you physically? Are your shoulders tense, or your jaw clenched? Are there di erent layers to what you are feeling? Jot down any thoughts.

Observe - See the emotion for what it is, a feeling that can be observed, recognized, and accepted. Can you let the emotion go?

Escape into stillness

For the highly sensitive person who is ne-tuned to their environment, a regular day can quickly start to feel overwhelming. Finding stillness and tranquility requires gentle and regular self-care. Navigating life is tricky at the best of times. For those who have no choice but to feel deeply, whose minds are prone to overstimulation and who experience intense reponses to people, situations and environments, it can be even harder. e world can appear too bright, too loud, and too much to bear. One way that highly sensitive people (HSPs) can escape the noise, shake o heavy vibes, and nd respite is to have access to emotional and sensory rst aid. is can help to restore inner calm and instill a sense of peace.

Meaningful self-care

HSPs have no choice but to feel and experience life acutely so using self-care tools and techniques can be helpful, but it’s important to choose appropriate nurturing practices. April Snow, a holistic psychotherapist in San Francisco, believes that with the right tools and self-awareness, HSPs can thrive. She suggests that self-care practices need to be meaningful and centered on quiet-re ection: as¨Quiet downtime allows our brains to process all the information we take in throughout the day and gives our nervous system time to relax. Since HSPs need their self-care to be quiet, without stimulation, it’s important to think of self-care and hobbies as separate activities.¨

is means giving careful consideration to what constitutes quiet time and peaceful practice for the individual. is might involve more ¨being¨ than ¨doing¨ and nding gentler activities that soothe rather than stimulate. It might also mean setting boundaries with family, friends, work or business so there’s ample time to decompress from sensory overload. A daily practice can help to achieve more peace and comfort in life which, in turn, makes it easier to stay grounded and centered, particularly during a challenging day.

ere are many practices to choose from, so the most important thing is that you nd something that resonates with you and that you will commit to. ink of this practice as a mini-vacation. Start with 10 minutes a day and notice the shi in mind and body.

A meaningful daily self-care practice is a way of providing breathing space from an intense response to an overstimulating world. Some nd it di cult to do this. ey convince themselves that they don´t have the time, the patience, or don’t deserve the gi of self-kindness. But creating this retreat can contribute toward feeling more relaxed, peaceful and quietly invigorated.

With a daily practice, the tools can be used to recover and sustain energy to achieve equilibrium. It can also enable HSPs to manage the frazzled times with greater ease and presence.

e idea of nding space and time for relaxation is not to lower or remove sensitivity or sensory perception, but to provide respite from the extremes.

Be gentle with yourselves and take time-out for self-care, your body and mind will thank you for it….

Quotes and a rmations that underline the importance of self-care

Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners William Shakespeare

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape. Bell Hooks

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Oscar Wilde

e thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. Anna Quindlen

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. Anne Lamot

Keep good company, read good books, love good things, and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can. Louisa May Alcott