Eastside: April 2010

www.eastside-online.org

Vol. 43 No. 10

Cherry Hill High School East: 1750 Kresson Road, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003

April 2010

T

hirty-five seconds: the amount of time it takes to heat up a frozen dinner, empty a trash can or change a battery. It takes approximately 35 seconds to ask a friend how he or she is doing, help someone cross the street or fill up a glass of water. On January 12, 2010, it only took 35 seconds for a 7.0-magnitude earthquake to completely devastate southern Haiti, resulting in a death toll of over 100,000 Haitians, but leaving even more victims homeless, wounded and without proper medical care.

As we celebrate Earth Day 2010 during the month of April, Eastside would like to contribute to the environment by publishing an online-exclusive issue of Eastside, in addition to donating one percent of its ad revenue for every fifty readers to the American Red Cross to help Haitian earthquake victims receive the medical care they need.

As an added bonus for our readers, we have decided to make this issue full-color for the first time in Eastside history. Inside this issue you will find a collection of stories, plus a Global Commentary Special covering the Haitian earthquake.

Art by Nicole Rocchino ( 10)/ Eastside Art Director Layout by Devon Braunstein ( 10)/ Eastside Managing Editor

Inside This Issue

Haiti Information Insider

Global Commentary, Pgs. 20-22

Review of Upcoming Concerts Underground, Pg. 27

What East Students Don’t Know

Health Special, Pgs. 16-17

Page 2

NEWS/FEATURES EASTSIDE

Are you a(n): A) Auditory Learner B) Kinesthetic Learner or C) Visual Learner?

April 2010

By Hailey Edelstein (‘12)

Eastside Online News Editor

Each day, students use distinctive learning styles to help themselves succeed in everyday life. According to psychologist Dr. Gary J. Kushner of Cherry Hill, “Each person has a dominant style to acquire knowledge and to learn new material.” When the teaching style of a course matches with the learning style of the student, the student can retain information much longer without putting in as much effort and study time.

Psychology teachers, Mrs. Grace Ermey and Mrs. Sheri Orlando, use many learning styles in their classes because they are all truly necessary.

Ermey said that practice helps develop each student’s skills in terms of learning styles.

The three major learning styles are visual, auditory and kinesthetic, which is also known as physical. Each style shows an increased functioning of a different part of the human brain. The brain is composed of two hemispheres (left and right), each having four lobes: frontal, parietal, temporal and occipital. Details of each lobe’s function can be found along with each topic. According to Orlando, “using multiple [learning] styles gives you more options to retrieve the material. As more styles are used, there is more usage of different parts of the brain.”

For example, listening to a teacher talk, reading the notes on the board and writing the notes on paper are three different learning techniques. Using all three in a sequence will give a student more ways to remember the material because he or she will be using all three styles.

There are many ways to determine one’s learning style. Performing a simple task may indicate which type of learner a student may be. For example, giving directions can be a clear indication. A visual learner might show someone a map when giving directions, while an auditory learner would give verbal directions. The way in which one cooks a new dish will also show a difference in learning style. A visual learner would strictly follow a recipe to cook a new dish, while an auditory learner might ask a friend to explain the directions. A kinesthetic learner would follow his or her instinct and taste it as he or she cooks. In order to discover your learning style, take the quiz on the following page.

Auditory Auditory learners remember information best by simply listening. In school, auditory learners do not need to be as attentive to the board because they must hear information to comprehend it. It is helpful, however, for the information to be repeated or phrased in different ways in order for the learner to fully understand it.

“As we go further in school, lectures become a big component and the auditory learner tends to have an easier time,” said Kushner.

Rose Blessing, a tutor at The Cherry Hill Tutoring Club, recommends verbalizing certain points while studying as well as listening to audio books after reading a book for an English class. College students commonly use a t a p e recorder to record a lecture so that they can refer back to it.

Strengths: Auditory learners tend to recall the majority of the information which is said to them.

Part of brain used: The brain of auditory learners uses mostly the temporal lobes, located on either side of the brain. These lobes are the centers for language and hearing. Two areas on the left temporal lobe— called Broca’s and Wernicke’s areas—enable the production and understanding of speech.

Tips for the future: Try to use a tape recorder to record lectures rather than taking notes. Also, don’t be afraid to ask a teacher to repeat anything you may not understand.

Take the quiz on the following page to find out your own learning style!

Kinesthetic Kinesthetic learners learn better with hands-on activities and a more engaging classroom environment. These learners need to use some part of their body in order to stay focused, and often wiggle, move their legs or tap their feet when they sit. Kinesthetic learners need to be totally engaged in an activity, like a science lab, a play or a field trip, in order to take something away from a lesson.

“Writing notes gives them the physical movement they need,” said Tutoring Club tutor Linda Johnson. Johnson also recommends not sitting in the same place for a long period of time while studying.

“Taking a break and walking around is very helpful,” said Johnson.

Blessing said that writing “is bringing it in with your fingers.” She suggests visiting a historical sight (if possible) to better understand history material.

Strengths: Kinesthetic learners tend to be very well-coordinated and have a strong sense of timing and direction.

Part of brain used: Kinesthetic learners use the cerebellum, located towards the back of the brain, which controls balance, coordination and motor activity.

Tips for the future: Try to study by categorizing topics on flash

cards, and then walk around while reading and trying to memorize them.

Visual The visual style of learning incorporates images, diagrams and other types of visualizations. Visual learners tend to remember information when it is color-coded, as well as organized specifically by the student. They learn best by taking detailed notes during a lecture, and then reviewing the material from the same notes later on. A visual learner may also tend to use his or her hands when telling a story or explaining something.

Visual learners succeed best in school by using study methods such as writing out concepts in world language classes or coming up with diagrams or step-by-step processes in a math or science class. Teachers should always try to look into a visual learner’s eyes in order for the student to fully take in the concept.

Blessing recommends that a visual learner pays attention to what the teacher writes on the board as well as to read the material ahead of the class so that he or she is seeing the material for the second time as the teacher teaches it.

Strengths: Visual learners tend to be good with directions and maps. They are also known to have a strong sense of color and are good at noticing details.

Part of brain used: Visual learners use the occipital lobes in the back of the brain.

This lobe helps with visual perception and recognition of what a person sees. The parietal lobes also help with spatial perception.

Tips for the future: Sit back and relax!

Visual learners learn best through watching others.

April 2010

NEWS/FEATURES EASTSIDE

6. Would you rather go to:

1.

When you study for a test, would you rather:

a) read notes, read headings in a book and look at diagrams and illustrations. b) have someone ask you questions, or repeat facts silently to yourself. c) write things out on index cards and make models or diagrams.

a) an art class b) a music class c) an exercise class

7. Which are you most

likely to do when you are happy? a) grin b) shout with joy c) jump for joy

11.

When you aren't sure how to spell a word, which of these are you most likely to do? a) write it out to see if it

looks right

b) sound it out c) write it out and see if it feels right

12.

When you tell a story, would you rather: a) write it b) tell it out loud c) act it out

13.

2.

If you were at a party, what would you be most likely to remember the next day?

a) daydream (see things that go with the music) b) hum along c) move with the music, tap your foot, etc.

a) the faces, but not the names b) the names but not the faces c) the things you did and said while you were there

Which of these do you do when you listen to music?

Kirk An (‘13)/ For Eastside

Take this quiz to find out what kind of learner you are. Tally up your A’s, B’s and C’s, then look at the previous page for tips on how to study best.

Quiz courtesy of people.usd.edu

8.

When you see the word "d 3.

When you read for - o - g," what do you do first? fun, do you prefer: a) a travel book with a lot of pictures in it b) a mystery book with a lot of conversation in it c) a book where you answer questions and solve problems

4.

To learn how a computer works, would you rather: a) watch a movie about it b) listen to someone explain it c) take the computer apart and try to figure it out for yourself

5.

You have just entered a science muse-

a) think of a picture of a particular dog b) say the word "dog" to yourself silently c) sense the feeling of being with a dog (petting it, running with it, etc.)

9. What are you

most likely to do when you are angry?

a) scowl b) shout or “blow up” c) stomp off and slam doors

10.

um. What will you do first?

When you work at solving a problem, do you:

a) find a map showing the locations of the various exhibits b) talk to a museum guide and ask about exhibits c) go into the first exhibit that looks interesting and read directions later

a) make a list, organize the steps and check them off as they are done b) make a few phone calls and talk to friends or experts c) make a model of the problem or walk through all the steps in your mind

Page 3

14.

What is most distracting for you when you are trying to concentrate? a) visual distractions b) noises c) other sensations like, hunger, tight shoes or worry

15.

Which are you most likely to do when standing in a long line at the movies? a) look at posters advertising other movies b) talk to the person next to you c) tap your foot or move around

What kind of learner are you?

Mostly A’s: Visual Mostly B’s: Auditory Mostly C’s: Kinesthetic

“ T h e Cherry Hill S c h o o l District will lose about $3.9 Alternate million in state aid BOE this school Rep Julia year as a Susuni (‘10) result of t h e Executive Order issued

by Governor Christie.”

This order, issued by the Governor, has made students, parents and residents of Cherry Hill frustrated and angry.

The Board of Education was forced to take action, and released a list of proposed cuts for the 20102011 Budget in order to make up for this loss. The Board has set up four different scenarios, based on increasing taxes by one percent, two percent, three percent and four percent. The best possible situation would include still having to cut late buses, freshman sports, various assistant coaches, other theater programs and the English seminar program, although it was recently announced that English seminar would likely be saved. Needless to say, these cuts will impact the school community and students’ college applications.

The Board of Education will be holding several public meetings in the weeks leading up to finalizing the 20102011 budget. Members of the Cherry Hill community have begun to advocate for programs to be saved.

The Board is open to hearing from students if there is a program for which they would like to advocate. It is truly unfortunate that our district and others are being impacted so greatly by this Executive Order. The Board of Education is doing its best to fairly make up for the state aid losses.

In other news, students from Cherry Hill East and West gathered together for a Focus Group Discussion regarding the science curriculum. Science teachers have proposed a new class that would take the place of QPS and CPS. This class, Environmental Science, would be a completely revamped curriculum, very different from the previous two freshman science courses. However, due to the recent budget crisis and other factors, the change in the curriculum is put on hold.

For more information on these issues visit: http://www.cherryhill.k1 2.nj.us/

Page 4

NEWS/FEATURES EASTSIDE

Meet the newly elected Student Government officers.

They are responsible for school SGA events, such as Mr. East and East’s Got Talent.

We asked, respectively...

1) What is your least favorite part of East?

2) What is the best way to lead?

3) What is your favorite part of/person at East?

4) What is your goal for your SGA term?

5) If you could change one thing at East, what would it be and why?

“My least favorite part of East is the people who put down clubs, activities and events that they have never even tried participating. People should give these types of things a chance before passing judgment on them.” - Jason Warren (‘11), President

“There are three things every leader should have: creativity, collaboration and intelligence. No one really wants to follow someone who’s just doing the status quo— people want to be a part of something new and they want to work with someone who will listen to them and who won’t just brush away their opinions. [They] will really listen to them.”

- Matt Bogdonoff (‘11), Vice President

“My favorite person is Mr. Rouen.

My favorite part of East is the variety of things you can get involved in and the variety of people here.”

- Dan Desrochers (‘11), Vice President

“I plan on bridging the gap between Student Government and the student body. I feel that there has been a lack of connection between SGA and the student body in the past, and I plan on building this connection. I feel that it is important for everyone to share his or her ideas, and have his or her voices heard.” - Adam Rosenthal (‘12), Vice President

“My least favorite part of East is the traffic jam in C-wing intersection. It’s right around fifth period.”

- Kenny Soll (‘11), Vice President

Teacher to Feature: Mr. Dilks

April 2010

a solution in a math problem…the research and analysis part is very closely related.”

When East math As for his transition teacher Mr. Joseph Dilks from lawyer to candy shop was asked as a secondowner, Dilks simply grader the standard quesviewed it as “a jump from tion, “What do you want to one business to another.” be when you grow up?” it is While he did find unlikely that he his job as a responded: “a lawyer, a lawyer more math teacher and a interesting, due businessman.” to the fascinating However, after his clients he encountwenty-year career tered, Dilks finds practicing law, Dilks his new job more decided it was time for enjoyable and a change. less stressful Working to become a overall. lawyer, Dilks graduatDilks’ store ed from Rutgers Law sells fudge, saltSchool and went on to water taffy and work for a year as a tax several other court judge. He then varieties of continued on to work candy. He enjoys for a general law practhe “party atmostice and a few years phere” down the later began as a sole shore, as the practitioner, focusing Devon Braunstein (‘10)/ Eastside Managing Editor boardwalk shops on workers’ compensation, personal injury Dilks’ latest profession is teaching at East. remain open until around midnight, and family law cases. as compared to his ten current business. Dilks He also served as a munico’clock bedtime during the accepted and soon after ipal prosecutor, working in year as a teacher. bought the company from his local traffic court to Although Dilks has a lot him, carrying on the family deal with speeding tickets, on his plate, his endeavors business passed down motor vehicle citations and are far from over. Dilks, through two extended famsmall criminal offenses. along with a fellow seaside ilies since its establishAfter twenty years, businessman, is currently ment in 1946. He also soon Dilks began to look into a in the process of creating returned to school for new career in order to be another business involving about two years to become home for his son. the sale of a special type of a math teacher. Though “People always told me I microwaveable popcorn Dilks hadn’t had a math was good at teaching and with a gourmet kernel that course in roughly 25 years, explaining things. They could bring an end to popthe material returned to thought I would make a corn kernels getting stuck him quickly. good teacher,” Dilks said. in the teeth of its conGoing from law to mathWith a degree in law, sumers.

Following the ematics may seem like a Dilks was technically popcorn’s upcoming sale on big jump, but Dilks said he already certified to teach QVC, Dilks plans to prowas always very good at history, civics and law. duce different types and math and loved it.

While Dilks continued eventually distribute the “Most people don’t realto search for a new career, product throughout the ize that law and math he had to make sure leavcountry, sell it down the closely relate,” Dilks said. ing his law practice would shore and, of course, bring “They are both logic-based be financially sound. Soon, some into school for his mental processes. Looking an opportunity opened up.

Calculus and Pre-Calculus for solutions in a legal Dilks had asked his brothclasses to enjoy. problem is like looking for er-in-law, the owner of a

By Devon Braunstein (‘10)

Eastside Managing Editor

candy shop on the boardwalk in Wildwood, NJ, to look out for any job possibilities down the shore for the summertime. Dilks’ brother-in-law provided him with an opportunity indeed—he asked Dilks to partner with him in his

NEWS/FEATURES

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Page 5

Bridging the gap, one tutoring session at a time

understands something,” said Allison King (‘11), a Bridge tutor, “unlike when you try to teach yourself For middle school stusomething, because dents, the transition that is never accomfrom middle school to plished and it’s never high school is a dauntunderstood.” ing prospect. Tales of Perhaps one of the sleepless nights and most interesting impossible loads of aspects of The Bridge homework give middle tutoring program is school students ample the “Rap Session” reason to be apprehenheld at the end of sive about high school. each tutoring sesUnfortunately, the gap sion.

The “Rap in the difficulty levels of Session” consists of a middle school and high thirty-minute period school often make these in which East and horror stories come true Beck students have a for incoming freshmen. discussion about East students hope high school life. In to narrow that gap this manner, Beck through The Bridge, a students get the newly-created tutoring opportunity to have program designed to their questions conhelp give Beck Middle cerning high school School students the answered. Thus, in academic and social addition to gaining skills they need in high the academic skills school.

Founded by they need to succeed, Avra Bossov (‘11) and Beck students learn Selli Abdali (‘11), the what to expect when program has quickly they enter high gained popularity school. among middle school The Bridge tutorstudents and high ing program is school students alike, unique because it with approximately addresses a critical eighty tutors and problem facing stueighty to ninety Beck dents in the transistudents so far–and tioning process. Far more tutors are wanttoo often, students ed.

Mrs. Jennifer Photo Illustration by Sarah Sachais (‘11)/ For Eastside enter ninth grade Ritter, a teacher at both academically Beck Middle School, The Bridge is a new tutoring program where Cherry Hill East students tutor Beck students. and mentally unpreand Mrs. Melissa pared for the vigor of high tutor has a designated Ritter, then teamed up to “I thought that the tranLampman, a teacher at school life. middle school student, form The Bridge. sition from elementary to Cherry Hill High School Abdali hopes that The allowing the students to The Bridge takes place middle school was less East, are the advisors.

Bridge will continue to form closer relationships Monday through Thursday intense than having to go The idea first came to grow and help students with each other. after school in the Beck from middle to high school, Ritter, who then transition from middle “It’s great because you library. Tutoring for lanwhich made me think that approached Bossov. At the school to high school long actually feel like you are guage arts, foreign lanThe Bridge could be a persame time, Abdali was after she and Bossov gradgetting something accomguages and humanities fect way to help my brother thinking of a similar idea, uate. plished when the student takes place Monday and and his peers in the transiinspired by her brother

By Emily Hsu (‘12)

For Eastside

who was having some difficulty transitioning from elementary school to middle school.

tion,” said Abdali.

East students Abdali and Bossov, along with teachers Lampman and

Wednesday, while math and science tutoring sessions are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Each

Fashion Club shows charity is in style

By Rebecca Ohnona (‘12)

Eastside News/Features Editor

After two years of extensive planning, the Cherry Hill East Fashion Club, headed by President Samantha Kofsky (‘10) and Justin Wachman (‘10), is ready to present its firstever fashion show.

On April 16, the club will be hosting the charity fashion show event, titled “Cougars on the Catwalk.”

Proceeds will go to raising money for Familial Dysautonomia, a genetic disease that affects the development and function of nerves throughout the body.

The club choses this charity because there is a student at East with this disease.

The safari-themed event will be filled with fashions f r o m vario u s

local businesses, such as Wet Seal, as well as musical performances.

There will be a cocktail hour with food from many sponsors including Chipotle, Wegmans, Classic Cake, Whole Foods and Short Hills Deli.

Following the cocktail hour will be the fashion show, containing three fashion categories: casual wear, business wear and formal wear, all in accordance with the safari theme. The forty models will all be East students, including Cara Kaplan (‘10), Hannah Race (‘10) and Mitchell Kofsky (‘13).

Along with the fashion

show, there will be various musical performances. The Jazz Unlimited dance ensemble will be performing its award-winning dance, Amazonia, in accordance with the safari theme.

Among the other performances are the East Singers group, eight professional break-dancers and Casual Harmony, the East boys singers group.

The radio station, 96.5, will also be coming to report on the event with a celebrity DJ. In addi-

tion to this entertainment, everyone who comes will receive a goody bag full of FASHION free make-up coupons, SHOW: accessories and a $25 gift April 16 at certificate to Berndard’s 7 p.m. in Salon and Spa. The show will begin at 7 the p.m. in the auditorium, EAST and tickets will be sold at AUDITOthe door for five dollars RIUM each.

For more information, please visit www.

Familialdysautonomia.org .

Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Page 6

EASTSIDE

April 2010

EDITORIAL

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Editorials represent the views and opinions of the Eastside Editorial Board.

Reduction in field trips needs revisiting

Due to the $3.9 million cut from the school budget, the district has been forced to minimize a large portion of its current spending to save money for next year’s budget. In effect, East must implement a new policy regarding substitute teachers and field trips. The school will not allow any field trips unless they are preplanned, such as DECA and the various science competitions, or of “extraordinary merit.” As a result of the reduced number of field trips, the district hopes to cut down on the number of substitute teachers used during the school day.

While such a policy seems like a frugal plan, we feel that it is not a constructive

way to reduce the district’s spending.

When classes are permitted to attend field trips, it costs more money to pay a teacher already in the building to cover an extra class period, which is counterproductive to the original plan.

At other times, the school will combine classes into one room supervised by a single faculty member. While this tactic saves money, having double the amount of students in one classroom causes chaos, limiting the students’ learning for that period. Also, it is unlikely that the teacher would be able to teach a substantial or productive lesson due to the crowding and students’ limited concentration.

Page 7

Cherry Hill High School East 1750 Kresson Road Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 Phone: (856) 424-2222, ext. 2087 Fax: (856) 424-3509

Therefore, we feel that the best way to approach the situation is to bring back substitutes while still limitEastside Online ing the number of field trips classes can take. The school http://www.eastside-online.org board could establish a panel of board members that Publisher would determine the importance of the field trip and Fort Nassau Graphics rank different teachers’ Thorofare, NJ requests. The district could also clearly define the term “extraordinary merit” as Letters to the Editor pertaining to field trips, Submit signed letters to FO87 rather than leaving the high schools with a vague restriction.

Awards Thus, the number of subThe International Quill and Scroll Society, The American stitutes would be reduced whilst still providing teach- Scholastic Press Association, The Garden State Scholastic Press ers and students with the Association, The Temple Press Tournament, and The National chance to attend valuable Scholastic Press Association. field trips.

Editorial Cartoon

Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Eastside Thanks...

The following people who have donated to Eastside in 2010: Benefactors Ronnie and Rob Coben The Soffer Family The Michelson Family Ellis and Darcia Medoway The Conn Family Ju Tan Sponsors Dr. and Mrs. Perlman Joel and Karen Weiss The Perilstein Family Abigail and Jeff Schervone Shirley and Bill Kane

Gary and Vicki Edelstein Mike and Julie Bathke Avelino and Merian Rochino Lynne and Don Rosenblit The Kessler Family Contributors Beth and David Kagan Miriam and Alan Feldman Judy and Barry Epstein The Braunstein Family Alan and Evelyn Berkowit Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smaldore Deena Freedman Avelino and Lorena Rochino David Romisher The Gurkin Family Patrick and Karen Regan Ellyn and Chris Cominetto

Carol and Jack Kanoff The Ohnona Family Molly Ruttenberg The Klein Family Sherrie and Jeff Cohen Neil and Nancy Schwartz The Markowitz Family

Patrons Marilyn and Len Weintraub Jen Grossman Natalie Ohnona Robert and Betsy Schwartz Mr. Rouen Arthur and Lois Simon Sara Wint Julia Burns Lindsey Roth Michele Freed-Madrack

Shaylin O'Connell Courtney Workman Kyra Holiday Brittany Muniz Paige Hymson Melissa Medoway Courtney O'Rourke Sara Rausch Margie Medoway Sylvia and Leonard Cohen Concetta Gartiser Toni Winoker The Desrochers Family The Brill Family The Susini Family The Caton Family Sam Flomenberg Donna Dimuro

Managing Editor: Devon Braunstein News/Features Editors Avra Bossov Rebecca Ohnona Brooke Weiss Sports Editors Mike Davis Nate Mulberg Community Editors Julie Coben Laura Kane Opinions Editors Julia Finkel Alana Kopelson

Editors-in-Chief: Rob Incollingo, Amanda Michelson, Sari Soffer To contact a Art Directors Online News Editor member of the Nicolle Rochino Hailey Edelstein Eastside Editorial Sally Yang Board via e-mail, Online Sports Editor type the person’s Global Commentary Editors first name Photo Editors Max Cohen Dan Perlman followed by a Karina Korneyeva period, his/her Moriah Schervone Nickee Plaksen Business Managers last name and “eastsideAlex Feldman Humor Editors Video Editor online.org,” ie: Somya Mawrie Andrew Huff shelly.tan@ Shelly Tan Zach Schwartz Editorial Assistants eastsideonline.org.

Radio Manager Nupur Mital Underground Editors Autreen Rahbari Elana Perilstein April Staffer of Jason Cominetto Dillon Rosenblatt the Month: Steven Markowitz Adviser Jake Trommer Entertainment Editors Paige Hymson Meredith Medoway

Mr. Greg Gagliardi

Gina Villecco (‘11)

COMMUNITY South Street: then and now

Page 8

EASTSIDE

By Sarah Minion (‘12)

Eastside Staff

South Street, located between Front and Tenth Streets, is one of the most exuberant and festive parts of Philadelphia, and represents the true spirit of the city.

However, it has taken time a n d many

changes to evolve into the energetic hotspot that it is today.

Before the 1950s, South Street was mostly known as the section of Philadelphia that offered high-end fashion stores.

When real estate values began to fall during this time period, artists and other members of fringe populations started to take over and ultimately revolutionize the strip.

In the 1960s, South Street evolved into a lively and music-oriented part of the city. Bars and nightclubs lined the streets, giving Philadelphians a place to discover the local music scene and take part in nightlife festivit i e s

witho u t having to go very far.

S o u t h S t r e e t became so popular that in 1963 The

Orlons wrote a hit song called “South Street,” describing the atmosphere and people who spend time there.

Today, South Street remains a legendary area of the city, attracting anyone looking for a good time.

Although South Street is known for its social festivities, its attractions offer more than just diverse restaurants and nightclubs.

The Laff House Comedy Club, where one can find local comics, and the Theatre of the Living Arts, known as the TLA, where one can watch bands play live in an intimate and casual atmosphere, are just a couple of places on South Street where locals can hang out to be entertained.

Yvonne Dolic (’12) frequently goes to TLA. “I love the TLA because it always has bands that I really like and it’s easy to meet the bands after the show,” she said.

Philadelphia Java Company is a hipster hotspot with friendly service and exceptional croissants. Here, patrons can enjoy the Java Company’s featured monthly local artist and play a game of chess.

Aside from the restaurants, the clubs and the legendary Condom Kingdom, South Street is also home to any art-lover’s heaven: the Magic Garden.

Beautiful and urban, the Magic Garden is an artsy garden filled with mosaic pictures and sculptures

Walk for a cause

mother, who battled breast cancer, Forman felt that a more local walk would benOn April 17, members of efit the community and the community will have a increase participation for chance to make a differsuch causes. Also, considence in the lives of people ering the prominent and families battling canamount of cancer victims cer. The second annual in New Jersey, Forman “Walk 4 Family & Friends wanted to emphasize the with Cancer” promises to most prevelant cancers in be even more successful the community: lung than last year’s event, cancer, breast cancer, which raised over skin cancer and ovarian $25,000 and included cancer. more than five-hundred “[These cancers are] registered walkers. appearing so much Creator and co-chair around us in our comof the charity walk Lisa munity. You always Forman said that her hear about another peroriginal purpose for son who has been diagorganizing this event nosed, and we can make was to get the entire a difference here in the community involved, Cherry Hill, Voorhees including students, parand Mount Laurel Courtesy of Lisa Forman area,” said Forman. ents and young chilThe success of last year’s walk has dren, to raise money for The walk will be held two very important inspired committee members to at Connolly Park in organizations. Forman, repeat the event on April 17.

Voorhees. Those who along with her husband Gaining inspiration wish to participate may David, are co-chairs with from participating in register for the event by Rochelle and Jeffrey Philadelphia’s Race for the paying $30 or by signing Senges.

Cure for 15 years and up prior to the event online These two organizations experiencing the loss of at www.walk4familyinclude The University of her 52 year-old grandfriendswithcancer.org.

By Julie Coben (‘11)

Eastside Community Editor

Pennsylvania Abramson Cancer Center and the Samost Jewish Family and Children’s Service Family Assistance Program, a non-denominational organization that assists local families suffering with cancer and the financial difficulties that accompany the illness.

April 2010

that are mostly made out of junk.

Also, South Street visitors can indulge in a myriad of independentlyreleased CDs at many of the independent record stores, one of them being Repo Records.

South Street has also welcomed more commercial and mainstream establishments such as The Gap and Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Stand into its otherwisehipster persona. One popular restaurant is Johnny Rockets, a busy burger joint

with a retro scene.

“South Street is inspiring of what city life is like,” said Emily Schultz (’11). “I love all the colors and there are always exciting things going on.”

In the past, South Street represented a place for peo-

ple to express their artistic and counter-cultural views. Today, it still represents a part of Philadelphia that is lively and filled with its own soul and history, but now with a modern flare.

Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Staff

April 2010

COMMUNITY EASTSIDE

Page 9

By Sandra Goldlust (‘11) For Eastside

There is nothing quite as important in high school as giving back to society through community service. As a member of Quixote Quest, I volunteer weekly at a nonprofit educational center for underprivileged children.

Through mentoring and tutoring the same child every week, I can directly see the difference I make in this child's life – a difference I hope will last throughout her

By Nupur Mital (‘11) Eastside Editorial Assistant

Child-life specialists are crucial members of the multidisciplinary team that provides quality healthcare to children at the inpatient pediatric unit at the Virtua Hospital in Voorhees. The program is run by Beth VanBuskirk, who works in the pediatric department to make sure that children’s psychosocial needs are met, helping to ease their fear and anxiety with recreational activities. She also provides the families of sick children with support during the difficult and stressful period. Several adult and junior volunteers are also involved in this endeavor.

I have been privileged to have the opportunity to work there as a junior volunteer since January 2008. I help out for about four hours each weekend during the school year, and for four hours, two to three times a week during the summer. My primary involvement is to occupy admitted children with arts and crafts, toys, board games, videogames and movies. I also help to distract young children during painful procedures.

Holidays are the most exciting – as well as the busiest time – for childlife specialists and volunteers, as the families and children are most stressed during this season. The entire department puts great effort into making the experience of spending one’s holiday in the hospital as enjoyable as possible. The rooms, hallways and playrooms are decorated with related themes; fun events are organized, such as “Breakfast with Santa;” and donations are collected to buy gifts for Courtesy of Nupur Mital ( 11) the unfortunate children who are sick and unable to spend Mital enjoys helping hospitalized children through difficult times by the holidays at home with occupying them with fun activities their families. like reading stories.

Children are always delightful to work with. Their strength, despite the pain and stress, never ceases to amaze me. The time that I spend at the hospital always rejuvenates me, even when I am overburdened and exhausted with my own work.

Cartoons by Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director Serving the Community logo by Sally Yang (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

whole lifetime.

Quixote Quest, a community service club for New Jersey teenagers, has given me a life-changing opportunity to actually “make a difference.”

Members of this club volunteer at various sites while working with animals, children and the elderly. Along with weekly volunteering at the same site, Quixote Quest members attend meetings twice a month, where they connect with other teens that have similar passions for community service.

The club also takes on a monthly “Group Service Project,” such as February’s “Hope for Haiti Coffee House,” an extremely successful fundraiser, which raised over $1,200 for Haiti relief efforts.

Do not sit still; get involved in the community. By contactCourtesy of Sandra Goldlust (‘11) ing schools, community centers, Goldlust fulfills her Quixote Quest religious centers or joining obligations by volunteering as a Quixote Quest, one can find vol- tutor for underprivileged kids. unteer opportunities in the area. You will be amazed by the differences you can make in the lives of others and even your own life when you choose to volunteer.

By Ross Handler (‘10) For Eastside

My parents have always told me that it is important to give back to my community. I have heeded their advice by making volunteerism a significant part of my life. My community service dates back to when I began volunteering at St. Mary’s Catholic Nursing Home in Cherry Hill as an eighth grader. New to the idea of volunteering, I first measured my efforts in the number of hours I could log in a notebook. But as the months passed, I realized that there was much more to my volunteer experience. I began to see how much I meant to the residents and staff and that I was positively changing both my and the residents’ Friday afternoons and Sunday mornings.

Whether playing Bingo, competing in Trivial Pursuit, or serving refreshments during singalong, I got to know the residents on a more personal level. The relationships that I have built with the residents at St. Mary’s over my five years of volunteering have greatly impacted my life. I enjoy talking about the Phillies with Bobby. At the end of every marking period, Margie asks to see my report card. Every Sunday, Rosie helps me with the distribu- Laura Kane ( 11)/ Eastside Community Editor tion of coffee and cookies dur- For five years, Handler has been volunteering at St. Mary’s Nursing ing sing-a-long.

Growing up without grand- Home by spending quality time parents, my interaction with with the residents. the residents has filled a personal void. A successful volunteer experience benefits both the volunteer and those he or she helps. The elderly residents have, in return, enriched my life, providing me with memorable moments, great stories and an unforgettable volunteer experience.

Page 10

COMMUNITY EASTSIDE

April 2010

Independent restaurant owners disclose perks of fresh food dining sonal treat customers look forward to in the rants, the Tortilla Press in Collingswood and summertime. Smith describes his relationship Tortilla Press Cantina in Pennsauken. Tortilla with the local farms as “intimate,” Press Cantina exists only miles down the road even altering his menus to from the massive chains around the Cherry Hill In the past 18 months, 18 new chain restaureflect certain types of proMall. rants have opened in the South Jersey area. duce coming from the The general feedback Palombo receives from While these chain restaurants do advertise their farms. his customers is that, while the décor of several convenience and market themselves with extenfranchises is elaborate, as they have the funds sive décor, the quality and nutritional content of to invest millions of dolthe food is lars into the restauhard to rants’ furnishing, the compare to food is only “so-so.” that of the Smith says that the prifood of mary difference independbetween the chains and e n t l y his privately-owned o w n e d eateries is the “really restaufresh, made-to-order rants. food.” In fact, the Chef Joe food sold at most Palombo chain restaurants owns the is processed Mirabella around six to Café, an seven times Devo Italian before hitting a Emp n Bra restaurant Mirabella c o n s u m e r ’ s tpare loyeeunstei in the Café has plate, sucking omerquali s at tn (‘10) Barclay Nickee Plaksen (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor he / Eas ty s. started a out a large porF a r m s m M t s eal ira ide M Tribute to S h o p p i n g Mirabella Café, owned by Joe Palombo, is one of many tion of the food’s origs fo be a r th lla Cnaging Local Farmers Center in independently owned restaurants in the South Jersey inal nutrition. While eir afé Edi C h e r r y region that provides a fresh, home-cooked, dining experi- independently-owned cus pr tor Week throughe- out August with a restaurants can alter H i l l . ence. specialty fourtheir menus to feature seasonal produce, cookWhile Palombo’s restaurant was a large success course menu featuring their courses from scratch, the chains must in its first few years of business, he says that ing South Jersey’s local simplify their ingredients in order to accombusiness has softened up within the past year produce. In effect, it is one of the most populatmodate the vast number of stores they must due to the “invasion of chain restaurants” that ed times of the year at the Mirabella Café. provide for. came to the area.

Smith’s Tortilla Presses host several “Farm On the other “We’ve never seen this before,” Fresh” nights where he invites local farmers to hand, accordsaid Palombo. “Each restaufeature their produce all evening. ing to the “We’re so glutted rant takes another piece processed According to Palombo, Mirabella Café sees I n t e r n e t with of the pie. Only so the biggest effect of the newfound competition F o o d food that is loaded many people during the week. Each restaurant only has a live in with sugar and limited pool of people to attract, thus as each this new restaurant opens up in the area, the targetarea.” salt— which is a ed consumer population becomes more discheap way to persed. heighten taste.”

“It’s like anything else in the business,” said Palombo. “The strong always survive and -Chef Mark Smith should survive if they are real careful with what they do.”

Association, chains like The Palombo i In order to combat the new competition in the explained rian Cheesecake Factory spend milp i ia C restaurant field, Smith simply focuses on listenlions of dollars each year on that while d y fL o sy o ing; he has adjusted his menu to include more food research, enabling them many people e b t r l m Cou Palo loca to access data do tend to hef e from on consumer prefstray back to C nd uc erences and experiment their favorite e) a rod bov sh p with different dishes and flaindependentlyh (aus fre t i vors. They can do so at central owned restaurant m rio S f processing plants where food is after seeing what Che eve va broken down and injected with else is out there, reci s. the perfect amount of sugar and the restaurant trial farm salt to make consumers’ mouths period could take him water. As specified by David over a year. If a consumer goes out to eat just Kessler in his novel The End of once a month, it will take him a year and a half Overeating, manufacturers of just to make one full round of 18 taste-tests processed foods and major restaubefore potentially venturing back to a familiar rant chains “exploit…neurologieating destination. cal vulnerability by layering fat Chef Mark Smith also owns two local restauand sugar into foods to create ‘craveability.’” “[One of the biggest challenges for Courtesy of Lydia Cipriani us has been] weaning people’s taste buds Chef Smith of The Tortilla Press, located in Collingswood, back to the tastes of prides himself on serving his customers “made to order fresh food,” said food” unlike popular chain-restaurants around the area.

“We’re so -Less packaging is needed for fresh produce. Smith. vegan and vegetarian choices and installed a glutted with processed food that is separate fryer to cook gluten free food. loaded with sugar and salt— which -Fresh produce is less expensive.

Palombo’s main concentration has been on is a cheap way to heighten taste.” checking and re-checking everything in the Both Palombo and Smith partner -Customers are more familiar with local restaurant, along with extensive staff training. with local farms to receive the freshMirabella’s also hosts events tactfully during est produce for each season. There growers and their growing methods. the week, such as Teen Idol on Monday nights are a total of eighty different local (coming this spring) and Gnocchi Tuesdays.

-Locally-grown produce has a better shelf life. farms growing what Palombo con“If consumers want real food cooked by real siders “some of the finest produce chefs, and they want to keep their hard-earned [he has] seen in his life,” including -Transporting local produce limits gasoline Tuscan squash, rare breeds of beets money in the local economy, then it is important to support the independently-owned restauand eggplant and the New Jerseyemissions. rants,” said Palombo. renowned heirloom tomatoes, a seaBy Devon Braunstein (‘10)

Eastside Managing Editor

Benefits of fresh produce at local restaurants

COMMUNITY

April 2010

EASTSIDE

ENTERTAINMENT

Page 11

AROUND TOWN

Have a laugh at Sarcasm edy class, where he has taught various celebrities and athletes. Trevelise can also be heard on the radio station 610 WIP, where he does the weekday Cherry Hill Crowne Plaza may be news updates. commonly recognized as a hotel Trevelise’s experience defito East students. It may even be nitely benefits him, and his pasrecognized as the hosting sion for comedy has brought him grounds for the DECA States a long way. tournament. But Cherry Hill “I love comedy, and love the Crowne Plaza has a new reason idea of taking a person I know for its familiarity: Sarcasm. No, [who] is funny and putting them not literally. Sarcasm is just the in front of you,” Trevelise said. name of the new comedy club Sarcasm can seat up to two that has found its home at the hundred people, and even when Crowne Plaza. filled, the club is extremely comCherry Hill, not a common fortable. The club takes on a hip place for comedy clubs, can design, which puts a modern thank Sarcasm owner Steve spin on the standard comedy Trevelise for the proximity of the look. new venue.

In a time with so much strug“Cherry Hill Crowne Plaza gle and seriousness, comedy just was a great fit for the club. may be the medicine people [Cherry Hill] is already a great need. and upcoming area, and Mike Davis (‘10)/ Eastide Sports Editor Trevelise said, “Now more [Crowne Plaza] had another Steve Trevelise hosts every show at his comedy than ever, with the war and the comedy club before, so we had a club, Sarcasm. economy, it’s very important to lot to work with,” said Trevelise. laugh. I think Trevelise is not only the it’s very important owner, but also the emcee and host of owning Sarcasm, Trevelise is the to be able to look the club, where he conducts his roles house emcee and general manager at the world in the with much ease due to his experience the popular chain comedy club Catch eyes and laugh.”

A Rising Star in Princeton, NJ. At in the field. Trevelise started doing this particular club he teaches a comcomedy in 1982 when he worked at

By Mike Davis (‘10)

Eastside Sports Editor

radio station WYSP on the Howard Stern Show. He then moved on to do more stand-up comedy and emceeing all over the area. Now, in addition to

Brick photo courtesy of commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Tomomarusan Stage by Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Ritz Theatre Company

By Danielle Fox (‘13) Eastside Staff

The Ritz has been providing live, quality theater performances in Haddon Township for over two decades. The theater presents six main-stage productions and eleven children’s productions every season and was recently placed on the National Register of Historic Places.

The Ritz opened in September 1927 as a vaudeville and movie house, and quickly became the central point of entertainment for the community. During the 1950s and 1960s the theater was known for foreign films, which drew audiences from Philadelphia and beyond the local communi-

ty. The theater became a pornographic movie house during the 1970s; but in January 1986, the Ritz reestablished itself as the central point of South Jersey entertainment when they presented “Puttin’ on the Ritz.”

The Ritz has received various nominations and opportunities, such as three Philadelphia Barrymore nominations for Best Musical, Director and Female Lead for the play “Sweeney Todd” in 1998, and the opportunity to perform the play “1776” at the grand opening of the National Constitution Center in 2003.

The Ritz is not only a productive theater company, but a welcoming family as well.

“[Everyone is] very nice, supportive and helpful,” said Chloé Gold (‘11), an active member of the Ritz Theatre community.

Gold is one of the 73,000 people who participate annually in the Ritz Community, which is almost triple the amount reached at its commencement in 1986.

As a prospering theater company, the Ritz strives to offer entrance to aspiring actors/actresses with challenging and diverse professional productions and quality on-stage training.

If looking for a fun evening out, go to the upand-coming production “Noises Off,” which opens April 22 and is sure to be a show-stopper.

Page 12

ENTERTAINMENT

Glorifying teen pregnancy in households

By Danielle Fox (‘13)

Eastside Staff

As teen pregnancy rates continue to increase nationally, so do more of entertainment’s popular teen pregnancy shows and movies.

Although many new shows do focus on teen pregnancy, some do not depict the reality of the issue. For instance, ABC Family’s hit television series “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” showcases being a teen mom as smooth sailing.

The main character, Amy (Shailene Woodley), has all of her friends chip in to help her raise her child.

She goes to school every day and financially supports her son with her

unrealistic when it comes to teen pregnancy.

According to the Women’s Health Channel, eighty percent of teen moms must rely on welfare at some point in their lives because of low income, and only about one third of teen mothers obtain a high school diploma. According to CDC Reproductive Health, teen moms 19 and younger are more likely to be and remain single parents.

On the other hand, there are many shows and movies today which depict being a teen mom as the hardship that it really is.

For example, Lifetime’s “the Pregnancy Pact” and MTV’s “16 and Pregnant,” showcase how a pregnancy results in a lot of drama, and brings many financial problems to the table. Also, both contain examples of irresponsible and absent

Photo courtesy of impawards.com

“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” is just one of many shows focusing on teen pregnancy. after-school job at the daycare, where her son stays when she is at school.

Lastly, the father of the baby (Daren Kagasoff) is committed to assisting Amy raise their child. Also, he coincidentally gets an apartment for free from his boss so that his son can stay overnights with him when Amy needs a break.

The CW Philly’s hit series “Gilmore Girls” also presents teen pregnancy to be the opposite of a harsh reality. For example, the main character Lorelai (Lauren Graham) also gets a job when all seems hopeless.

Furthermore, throughout the show the audience views the positive mother-daughter bond. It appears as if having a daughter at sixteen resulted in love and stability verses challenge and hardship, yet all of the prior events are extremely

fatherly presence.

During the show, Janelle, a teen mom from “16 and Pregnant,” said, “I looked at the future where [my baby] slept through the night and [I would have] a good time with him, but I didn’t look at the part where you constantly have to wake up in the middle of the night and it’s like you have to take care of the two of you.”

As entertainment continues to incorporate teen pregnancy, it should do so the way “the Pregnancy Pact” or “16 and Pregnant” depicts it. The shows or films which center on the issue should encourage teens to avoid teen pregnancy due to severe consequences, versus depicting the issue as a carefree reality.

For now it seems that shows on teen pregnancy are still on the rise.

EASTSIDE

April 2010

Harry Potter flies to Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida

By Claire Hoffman (‘12) Eastside Staff

Art by Danielle Hu (‘11)/ Eastside Staff

A book, a movie screen and a bit of imagination are no longer necessary for Harry Potter fans to experience Harry’s world. Opening this spring, the Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, will make amusement rides out of the most thrilling moments in the Harry Potter series.

When announcing the plans to create a Harry Potter theme park in May 2007, Universal promised to include the Forbidden Forest, Hogsmeade and the Hogwarts Castle in the park, basing the three major rides on these places. “The Dragon Challenge” features a twin high-speed roller coaster, including many elements of the Triwizard Tournament during the ride. A family coaster, “Flight of the Hippogriff,” simulates a training lesson on a Hippogriff, a magical creature, over Hogwarts’ grounds. The last disclosed coaster, “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey,” is an attraction that, because of the advanced technology, practically brings the magical world to life.

Just as exciting as the rides is the creation of a wizarding town full of shops to explore.

Including the joke shop Zonko’s, The Three Broomsticks (where imitation Butterbeer, a wizarding drink, will be sold) and the candy store Honeydukes, the true Harry Potter experience can be found in Hogsmeade. Olivander’s wand shop will include an incredible interactive experience where the wand chooses the wizard, while Dervish and Banges will sell magical instruments and equipment featured throughout the series. The only store created by Universal Studios, not in the Harry Potter series, will be Filch’s Emporium of Confiscated Goods, where an assortment of Harry Potter merchandise will be sold. In Hogsmeade, people will have a chance to wander in Harry Potter world at their own leisure.

Though fans are constantly afraid that Harry Potter-related things will deviate too far from the books, J.K. Rowling reassured them. “The plans I've seen look incredibly exciting, and I don't think fans of the books or films will be disappointed,” said J.K. Rowling during the press release of the theme park.

Rowling has been involved with the theme park from beginning and has shown much support and enthusiasm for it. Though she has not been confirmed to be there opening day, James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George Weasley in the movies), Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) and Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) have been, while rumors about a Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) appearance have been circulated as well.

“I know I would come out from films when I was younger, and absolutely just wish that [the] world could be real and I could be part of it,” said Daniel Radcliffe. “And so it’s amazing that people will get to do that.”

This spring the Harry Potter theme park will surely revolutionize the Harry Potter franchise once again. For people who merely enjoy amusement parks, this one will provide an entirely new experience. But for Harry Potter fans, it is one step closer to entering the world that they have always cherished.

ENTERTAINMENT

April 2010

Salinger dies at age of 91

By Rachel Tinkelman (‘13) Eastside Staff

Beloved author J.D. Salinger, age 91, died of natural causes January 28 in his New Hampshire home, where he had lived in seclusion for fifty years.

Salinger’s fame rests on a very slim volume of works: he published only one novel, several novellas and a collection of short stories. The 1951 classic, The Catcher in the Rye, stirred up no shortage of controversy after its release for the same reason it received praise -- its unabashed account of what is now the typical disillusioned American teenager.

Like the famously misanthropic protagonist of Catcher, Holden Caulfield, Salinger devoted his life to avoiding the “phonies” surrounding him, gradually cutting himself from society into complete hermitage.

Numerous accounts reveal that Salinger, though unpublished since 1965, has not been idle; Salinger, in his last interview in 1980, admitted to writing almost every day. His daughter, Margaret, also wrote in her memoir that her father had stacks of work filed neatly away. Two other accounts claim that Salinger had penned at least fifteen novels that he refused to have published.

Salinger’s inaccessibility has only heightened the intrigue, and for years fans and publishers have sought after his alleged collection of unpublished works.

With his death, the interest has peaked, as fans crane their necks to see what will become of these guarded works without Salinger to ferociously guard them. Salinger has been involved in numerous lawsuits concerning unauthorized publication of his stories and has ardently defended his rights to Catcher.

Without Salinger’s watchful eye, though, the floodgates are open to publication, reproduction and continuation of Salinger’s catalogue.

The Catcher in the Rye has, several times, been proposed as a movie, extended and altered by unsanctioned writers, only to be taken to court by Salinger. But without his zealous protection, his most valued works could lose their hermetic seal.

Critics have speculated that his unpublished works may blemish his reputation, based on his poorly reviewed, final published story. The future of Salinger’s buried works is, as yet, unrevealed, but it is safe to assume America’s favorite hermit would be angry if the phonies perverted his work.

EASTSIDE

Celebrity baby names act as

attention grabbers

By Jheri Grossman (‘11) Eastside Staff

Apple.

Satchel.

Blanket.

Olive. What do all these things have in common besides being common household items? They are the names of celebrity children.

For celebrities living in the public eye, it has become a trend to give children unusual names, almost as if it were a contest. Every year, more and more children are given strange, never-meant-tobe-used-as-a-name names, such as Rachel Griffiths’ son Banjo, or Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s daughter Apple.

Most of these names are desperate pleas for attention, such as Shannyn Sossamon’s son Audio Science or Frank and Gail Zappa’s daughter Diva Muffin.

Some of them have puns, such as Rob Morrow’s son Tu, David Bowie’s daughter Zowie, or David Duchovny and Tia Leoni’s son Kyd. But all share one thing in common: they are all completely and totally random.

However, some celebrities have decided to give a reason for these licensefor-people-to-make-fun-ofyou-for-the-rest-of-yourlife names. Nicholas Cage, who named his son Kal-El, got the name from Superman. Why not use Peter? Or even Lex? Penn Jillete, whose daughter’s name is Moxie CrimeFighter, said in an interview with People magazine’s “Celebrity Baby Blog,” “I love the name Moxie. I love that’s it’s a purely American word, and those are rare, and I love that it stands for old fashioned spunk and energy.”

EZ (his wife Emily

Zolten Jillete) pushed for her middle name, “CrimeFighter,” because EZ doesn’t have a middle name and thinks middle names are stupid. So, it’s just a joke. When she gets pulled over by the police she can show her license and say, ‘We’re on the same side, officer, my middle name is CrimeFighter.”

Jason Lee told Entertainment Weekly that he named his son Pilot Inspektor because he heard the song “He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s a Pilot” by Granddaddy.

Robert Rodriguez decided he wanted all of his kids’ names to begin with “R.” Thus Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue and Rhiannon Rodriguez were born.

But still, some celebrities explained legitimate reasons for their children’s names. Forest Whitaker said, “I want them to kind of touch their destiny by their names. Autumn is sort of flighty and Sonnet is much more of an artist... and True was very strong, and Ocean just has a big heart,” he said in an interview with Starpulse.com.

Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette were originally planning to name their daughter Courtney Cox Arquette because of Courtney’s Southern roots, but because of David’s religion, they decided to name their daughter Coco, Courtney’s childhood nickname, as reported in a Courtney Cox biography. In the Jewish religion, sons and daughters are not named after their parents and/or living family members.

They may be named after grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., but not direct parents.

So, keep in mind that if you decide to move to Hollywood, your kid better be named after a kitchen appliance if you want to be noticed.

Parents

Children s names

Will Ferrel Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Philippe Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck Cher

Axel Deacon Ireland Zuma Nesta Rock Seraphina Chastity

Nicole Kidman

Sunday

Sarah Palin

Bristol, Track, & Trig

Nicole Ritchie & Joel Madden Rachel Griffiths

Sparrow James Midnight Banjo

Steven Spielberg Christie Brinkley

Destry Sailor Lee

Page 13

Scale by Sally Yang (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director Thumbs by Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Unfortunatel Starz series y the Blood and Sa“Spartacus: been delayed nd” has actor Andy W due to recent cancer hitfield’s diagnosis. on Elm be tmare A Nighremake set to0.

Street d on April 3 release

Glee’s executiv producers ho e ld a nationwide on casting search line young and ta for tred perform leners.

1981 film Clash of the Titans remake came out April 2.

New A dodgeb train single fo all tou rname r nt

Game shows become overly frivolous

By Rachel Tinkelman (‘13)

Eastside Staff

The value of the dollar is lower than ever, over 15.3 million are out of work, employers are cutting payroll and, gas prices are going up again. America’s economy is sinking fast, which is why it is odd that many television stations are airing shows that have contestants bending over backward, answering questions and completing tasks so they can roll in the big bucks.

Take “Wheel of Fortune” for example. The show has given away over $180 million in cash and prizes since the show started in 1983. In 2009 alone, a total of $10.1 million was won, the highest in the show’s history. This was despite the growing amount of economic turmoil at the time.

On December 8, 2009, German Posada won $23,262 on “Wheel of Fortune.” Posada is a 22year-old graduate student majoring in mechanical and aerospace engineering at Cornell University. It sounds like he is doing fine on his own, without the aid of this game show to pay for anything financially.

It seems that the large amount of money could be better spent on something to help improve society, such as the gentrification of rundown community buildings or aid to the sick.

Instead, it goes to a college

student who spun a wheel a couple of times and got lucky.

Another game show that gives people a chance to win money is “Jeopardy!”

The highest amount that “Jeopardy!” has ever given away is $3,255,102, all to one person, which is more than some shows have ever awarded in total. Over 270 people have been awarded $50,000 or more in the show’s history.

Watching people win that much money can send an inspiring and uplifting message that there is hope for individual economic recovery. However, when you look at the statistics, there really isn’t much to hope for. Out of all the people that go to one of the “Jeopardy!” tryouts, only one or two of them ever make it.

In the popular game, “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader,” contestants test their wits with questions from an elementary school curriculum. The top prize is $1 million dollars.

In spite of the bad economy, there are so many shows, popular to obscure, that are giving away money for the entertainment of the masses. But with so many people getting laid off every day, it is hard to understand the justification for winning a million bucks for pushing the right button. America is in a recession, and while TV can be a great get-away from real life, it can also be taking resources from the places that need it most at this time.

Wheel by Katie Walker (‘10)/ For Eastside

ENTERTAINMENT

Page 14

EASTSIDE

April 2010

Babies all around the globe

By Amanda Michelson (‘10) Eastside Editor in Chief

For parents and scientists, the miracle of child birth and growth is arguably one of the most captivating spectacles that occur within a lifetime. Taking a step further from home videos, the world will be able to view these enrapturing events— not once, not twice, but four times—in the documentary Babies, directed by Thomas Balmés.

The documentary follows the progression of four different babies in their first year of life. Don’t take the word “different” lightly, as these four babies are from completely opposite parts of the world: Namibia, Mongolia, Tokyo and San Francisco.

The worldly feel of this movie fits Balmés’ usual documentaries, as he is known for his independent, international co-productions. For example, Balmés’ first direction in 1996 of Bosnia Hotel, which took place in Bosnia a n d

explored the lives of U.N. Kenyan peacemakers.

His latest production was for a Japanese television series called “A Normal Life – Chronicle of a Young Sumo Wrestler” in 2009.

The beauty of Babies is that it combines a heartwarming life milestone with a variety of cultures, unifying the human race as a species of nurturers of progress.

While one barelyclothed baby sits in the dirt with walls of straw around him, clashing stones together for entertainment, another lays wrapped in a Kimono with a clucking rooster next to his head. Another baby is left sitting between two goats to play with, as the last baby crawls on the tile of a building in a welldeveloped city.

Indeed viewers will be able to identify a vast amount of variations i n

the f o u r babies’ lives as they experience the first year of their existence. But, what they will come to find is that regardless of where these babies grow up, they share key similarities for successful progression: affection from caretakers, objects to play with, nourishment for growth and the most rudimentary of goals, from walking to speaking.

Babies will premiere in the springtime and seems as though it will give audiences something to go “goo-goo ga-ga” about.

Photos courtesy of iwatchstuff.com

Art by Kevin Yoo (‘12)/ For Eastside

Blast from the Past: “Franklin” the Turtle

By Meredith Medoway (‘10)

Eastside Entertainment Editor

Franklin (1997-2004) “Franklin could count by two’s and tie his shoes…”

Even as one grows older, those classic lines never leave our heads.

They can’t be replaced by any amount of Shakespeare or Steinbeck.

They can’t be overrun by new blockbuster movies.

Those lines make up many childhoods that followed Franklin the Turtle for much of their first years and beyond.

Plot Each episode follows basically the same format.

Franklin the Turtle would encounter a new issue in his life, and would solve the problem by the end of the episode. The viewer was able to learn a moral

along with Franklin every time. Of course, the show did not stray too far from the classic kid’s show plot,

Sally Yang (‘11)/

Easts

ide A rt

friend was Bear, and he also often spent time with Fox, Beaver, Goose and Skunk.

Locations

friends spent much time playing sports and attending school as well.

Each location holds its own story. For example, the pet shop cannot be forgotten, since Franklin received his first live pet (a goldfish) there. The library acts as one of Franklin’s first

Direc to

b u t something about the presentation made this show special.

T h e CanadianAmerican children’s show featured various woodland creatures that lived together in perfect harmony, despite their obvious distinctions.

Franklin the Turtle’s best

r

learnFranklin lived in a small town called Woodland in which he was able to travel far and wide every episode. Any child would be envious of his lifestyle, which included the ability to move all about the town—from his own house to the ice cream shop to the pond to his tree house. Franklin and his

ing experiences while he must take good care of his borrowed book. The play park is home to countless games of soccer that Franklin played with his friends throughout the series.

Franklin’s adventures with his various friends in

various parts of the Woodland make this children’s show unforgettable for those that grew up watching it.

The Books “Franklin” is based on a series of books written

by Paulette Bourgeois and illustrated by Brenda Clark. Some of the stories are directly repeated on the television show, like “Franklin in the Dark,” and of course each story starts with those famous lines.

Tours Franklin has appeared in various live tours such as “Franklin’s Big Adventure.”

Currently, “Franklin and The Adventures of the Noble Knights” is touring in France. It will also start touring in Canada early this year.

April 2010

COMICS EASTSIDE

Page 15

Shazam! by Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Questions? Comments? Concerns? by Rich Hanna (‘10)/ Eastside Staff

It’s The Thought That Counts, Right? by Zach Schwartz (‘10)/ Eastside Humor Editor

Plus Silvah Edition by Havisha Desai (‘11)/ Eastside Staff

D o yo u l i ke t o r e a d comics?

Oxford the Platypus sure does!

Read more comics online:

www.eastside-online.org

Page 16

EASTSIDE

April 2010

Breakfast Bar Bluffing

By Rebecca Ohnona (‘12)

Eastside News/Features Editor

Each year, granola bar sales in the United States increase rapidly. With names containing words like “fiber,” “oats” and “whole grain,” granola bars seem like a healthy choice…right? Wrong! In reality, many of today’s most seemingly nutritious granola bars are packed with high fructose sugar or partially-hydrogenated oils, otherwise known as trans-fat, which has been proven even to increase the risks of heart disease.

Nutri-grain bars are a perfect example.

Many are deceived by the brand name, which implies that the bar contains nutrients and is a healthy choice. However, the ingredients tell a different story. This common breakfast bar contains 11 different forms of sugar, which actually makes a body prone to consuming more calories throughout the day. Yet, the worst ingredient is the “partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil,” again code words for trans fat.

Although the box claims to hold a bar with no trans fat, a

labeling loophole allows values lower than half a gram per serving to be rounded down to zero. This misleading fact has tricked many consumers.

In a survey conducted of 300 East students asking them to rate a Blackberry Nutri-grain bar, a Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate Chewy Bar, an Oats and Chocolate Fiber One bar and a Quakers Chocolate Chip Chewy Bar in order of increasing sugar content, 46 percent of students said that a Quaker’s Chocolate Chip Chewy Bar contains the most amount of sugar. However, it is actually just the opposite. The Chewy Bar actually has the least amount of sugar, while the Blackberry Nutri-grain Bar has the most. This fact may be surprising, but don’t fret – not all granola bars are evil; you just have to know what to look for. Look for granola bars without trans fat and with low amounts of sugar. Also, it is important for a breakfast bar to have at least 7 grams of fiber in order to keep you full until the next meal. A granola bar that is soft and oozing with chocolate chips probably isn’t the best choice.

SPECIAL

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Page 17

Breakin’ it down fast

By Alana Kopelson (‘12)

Eastside Opinions Editor

It’s likely you’ve heard many times, by many adults, that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it is in fact true. Although skipping breakfast is a common strategy for weight loss, it is not a smart one. A person’s body expects to be refueled a few times a day – and that begins with breakfast. Actually, eating a healthy breakfast is beneficial for weight loss. Eating in the morning increases the metabolic – or calorie-burning – rate. This gives the body more energy throughout the day, and weight control is easier. A healthy breakfast should contain a significant amount of protein and fiber. People should stay away from sugary cereals, pastries and white breads in the morning (and all throughout the day), because these types of foods are digested quickly and will make a person hungry in just a few hours. Also, it has been proven that students who eat breakfast every morning perform significantly better in school. Start out the morning strong: eat a healthy breakfast.

By Sari Soffer (‘10) Eastside Editor-in-Chief

a; candy and other unhealthy snacks were East banned soda; s restricted to an after-school-only machine and organic -school-only vending machine; food was added to the th country are e cafeteria. Schools all across the making similar changes, a ges, and yet, according to the article “Snacks mean U.S. kids moving writt by Maggie g toward ‘constant eating,” written Fox, childhood obesity p y continues to raise to over 16 percent.

At the School Nutrition Conference Ma ference in Washington early March, Michelle Obama stated the fact:“Children t:“Children aren’t doing this to themselves,” she said. A survey of 294 East students was conducted conduct to see how much knowledge high h h school students have about healthy eating.

The results showed a severe lack of understanding; though, when asked to rate their personal eating habits from one on to ten, ten being the healthiest, t, only one percent considered themselves “tens.” Most students, thirty percent, considered themselves them in the seven range, while 26 percent considered themselves themsel a five or less. The information on reveals the n displayed on this page not only lack of nutritional awareness reness among the East student body, but also allows students to learn choice in the future. rn how to make healthy choices Eat away and knowle d satisfy your hunger for knowledge.

Did you take the nutrition quiz?

r

Sari Soffer (‘10)/ Eastside Editor-in-Chief

ito

le would Most people n their tasty rather envision g in fresh water, salmon preexisting pecialists, and not in cared for by farming specialists, ng freely. To those who the dirty ocean, swimming would choose farm-fresh salmon for this reason, isting in water filled with envision your salmon preexisting antibiotics and pesticides, and later smothered with pink dyes and other fish oils or extracts. A wild salmon e depths of the ocean, someis free to swim throughout the s, thus shedding twenty pertimes through rocky obstacles, age confined salmon. Wild cent more fat than the average salmon is not only less fatty, but also contains much more urated fat that prevents canomega-3 fatty acids (an unsaturated es, helps immune functions, cer and cardiovascular diseases, contributes to brain health, etc.) and much less omega-6 fatty acids (an unsaturated fat that may cause various diseases or depression, and counteracts the functions arm-fresh salmon has a of omega-3 fatty acids). Farm-fresh o omega-6s, while wild 2:1 ration of omega-3s to 1. And if that’s not has a ratio up to 19:1. enough of a reason, then go green, and y. Now we can think organically. or salmon! all go wild for Eastside Editor-in-Chief

Ed

By Sari Soffer (‘10)

s ture

Treats, though.)

Answers and explanations to the right.

GO WILD!

l

) s/Fea ‘12 New a ( tside on Eas hn aO cc be Re By

is.)

87% said Nutrigrain bars (This doesn’t mean you should load up on Rice Krispies

When on a mission to lose weight, one may believe that consuming a spoon of a non-fat, strawberry-banana yogurt is beneficial to his or her weight loss journey, especially because the yogurt is low-cal and the label claims it will “help you lose 10 pounds.” Few people know that many yogurts of this type are actually full of hidden sugars and chemicals. There’s no wondering why it has so few calories…it is not real yogurt. Consumers today are fooled into thinking that foods with “fat-free” in the name must be healthy. However, this usually indicates that it is a processed food. In order to lose weight, busy people are now turning to processed foods simply because they contain fewer calories. A processed food is defined as any food that has been canned, frozen, dehydrated or has chemicals added in order to change the texture or make it last longer.

The base of a majority of these foods is wheat, soy or corn. Chemicals are supplemented as additives in order to create the illusion of a real food. These foods mess with one’s metabolism for one simple reason: our bodies cannot recognize things that are not really food. Therefore, the body does not know how to store it. Synthetic chemicals in these “foods” also switch on fat-storage hormones. Due to the busy schedules in modern life, society has turned to faux foods and forgotten what real, whole foods really are. Canned soups, such as “broccoli” or “tomato” soup, may appear healthy but actually contain tons of sodium and chemicals that help bodies retain water, which leads to bloating. The only way to be safe in choosing food is to eat organic whole foods. It is best to choose organic fruits in order to stay away from pesticides, and organic dairy, in order to remove harmful chemicals from one’s diet. As Jillian Michaels from “The Biggest Loser” constantly reinforces, “If it didn’t have a mother or it didn’t grow from the ground...don’t eat it!”

ea

(Don’t worry, Regular Cheerios are still okay!)

77% said Natural White Cheddar Cheetos 86% said Wheat Thins 87% said Smartfood Popcorn (Just because they say it’s smart, doesn’t mean it actually

lD

88% said turkey bacon 85% said Apple Cinnamon Cheerios

A survey of 294 East students was conducted to discover the breakfast habits of the student population. Find out what your peers are eating with the chart above.

ea

What did East students think?

Alt lesshough proc it oft esse en d d, a epen nd t hereds on t Reg fore he br has and Che ular C less , reg erio heer s ha ios sodi ular ve m are um. baco any good, n is Fun add but yun t e h d fa flavo an c s are Wh t r h s eese filled and ed hav eat Th sug and w e fib ins ars. hav load ith a p er. e fo u s of Sm ur t satuff of ai ime rate r, rat pop artfood s m d c ore fat. her and orn, w popco sug hile rn h fat. ar t Cra as fi han cker ve t they ime Nut J a s cks sug ri-grai are the fat ars low andn bars in c of regu coat are f alor l ed w illed ies ar with ith refi ned variou flou s re r. fine d

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Find out how much you really know:

Th

The results are in!

All food art by Sally Yang (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director Layout by Rebecca Ohnona (‘12)/Eastside News/Features Editor and Sari Soffer (‘10)/Eastside Editor-in-Chief

OPINIONS

Page 18

EASTSIDE

April 2010

High school education: facts or lessons?

By Nickee Plaksen (‘10) Eastside Photo Editor

O n e afternoon as I was completing a particul a r l y tedious calculus homew o r k assignment, I could not help but wonder aloud, “Why am I putting myself through this work if I know that I will probably never need calculus again in my life?”

“It’s not about what you’re learning: it’s about

exercising your mind and preparing yourself for the future,” my dad said.

Not only did my dad reply to my hypothetical question, but he also slyly brought an important point to my attention.

Is all the work we do in high school as unnecessary as I think, or does it actually serve a greater purpose than the actual increase of knowledge?

“Academics are by all means important, but high school—as well as college—is definitely necessary for students to prepare for life in general, not just [scholastically],” said

East Psychology teacher Mrs. Grace Ermey.

Group projects, due dates, homework assignments and presentations are all aspects of school that students despise, but comply with simply because they are essential to their grades.

However, what students do not realize is that they are unconsciously learning how to develop “healthy relationships, build character, practice time management and take care of themselves in general,” Ermey said.

High school is the time when teenagers are finally

learning how to be independent and mature. We often find ourselves struggling with budgeting our time, dealing with our workload and juggling various activities throughout our day.

Sure, what we learn in school will be significant at some point down the road; but high school and college are quite simply stepping stones that teach us everyday life lessons to prepare us for our adult lives.

If you asked me today what chemistry I remember from my freshman year CPS class, I probably could not even tell you one

piece of information.

However, I do know that CPS was the class that taught me how to write a proper lab report.

I can barely string one sentence together in Spanish from my three years of taking classes in that language, but I did learn to overcome my fears of speaking in public and made dozens of presentations throughout my high school career.

Of course high school prepares us with knowledge and information, but it is also what will make us the adults we will all grow into in the future.

Kevin Cook (‘11)/ Eastside Staff

Though a student may memorize certain equations, facts and definitons for a test, by the end of high school, it is more important that students remember the life lessons that they learned in school.

AP test preparation unfair to students

By Hailey Edelstein (‘12)

Eastside Onlines News Editor

Although not every student taking AP classes opts to take the AP test at the end of the year, it is still the teacher’s responsibility to prepare each student for the test. However, preparing students to do well on a test should not translate into lower grades.

When teachers choose to grade practice tests and questions for accuracy, rather than based on completion, students often find that their grades suffer.

Students should not be graded on practice AP test questions that cannot be taught to them.

Though there are test-taking skills that a teacher may teach, such as making educated guesses or looking for context clues, the knowledge necessary to do well on the tests must be acquired naturally.

Mrs. Paula Saillard, French IV AP teacher, uses the Barron’s AP French book to acclimate the students with AP-type questions.

Although bookwork is assigned to students and graded simply on completion, Saillard is not concerned with students completing the work effortlessly.

“The kids taking the AP course are the ones who want to be there,” said Saillard. Regardless

of whether the work is graded, the amount of effort a student puts into AP practice will only hurt or help that student when the actual test day arrives.

However, after students have had time practicing a particular skill in the AP format, Saillard’s students are given a look-a-like test for that skill which will be graded as a regular quiz.

Similarly, Mr. Jules Gross, Spanish V AP teacher, prepares his students for the Spanish AP test using the Barron’s guide book. Throughout the year, students are given weekly assignments from the Barron’s AP Spanish book that are graded based only on completion.

“You can’t really cram for the test,” said Gross. “It’s a snapshot of where you are in learning the language.”

In April, the month before the AP exam, Gross dedicates each week to focusing on a different aspect of the test. In order to mimic the AP testing conditions as much as possible during the 44-minute class period, students are given AP practice tests that are graded for accuracy.

“We take details very seriously in AP,” said Gross, explaining why the assignments are graded for accuracy.

However, for those students

who do not do well during formal testing, students feel increased stress during this month as they notice their grades suffering.

A thorough review for the AP exam should not hurt students’ grades. It is not possible to teach students all of the vocabulary and facts that may appear on an AP exam, and therefore students should not be tested on it.

In Calculus AP, AP questions are incorporated into tests, lessons and problem-sets, explained Mrs. Linda Heath, Calculus AP teacher. “[The students] have seen AP material since day one of Calculus,” she said.

As the test approaches, review sessions are held four times a week, for about one hour before or after school. The students also have an in-school field trip two weeks before the test to take a practice exam in testing conditions.

T h i s exercise “ g i v e s them an idea of where they’re s c o r - The AP Barron’s Guide is

ing,” said Heath. “It usually wakes them up.”

However, for the benefit of students, no practice work is graded and the AP preparation book is used only for students who want extra practice.

Using practice exam questions in regular tests and quizzes puts less pressure on students but still gives them review.

Putting students in testing conditions can be very helpful; however, students feel pressured by knowing that a practice test will affect their class grades.

Teachers should minimally grade test preparation work.

Photo by Nickee Plaksen (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor

used to help students practice

OPINIONS Cheating is a high school norm

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Page 19

actions that will be taken. cheated on a test or quiz, share test answers clearly cheated because they “forIf the issue is not dishave never been caught. devalues the honor code at got to study and couldn’t cussed, there will be no For those that have been East. But all students, afford to fail,” they wanted caught, the consequences including those in high “to get a The competition is were minimal—none of the schools across the counb e t t e r relentless. There is no students caught cheating try, feel the immense grade [to] room for a “B” on a report received an honor code violook better academic pressure to get card because anything less lation. for col- good grades, cultivating than a perfect score transThe honor code at East - Student response to why leges” or these bad habits. lates into a rejection letter needs to be enforced more he/she has cheated on a test or In 2008, the b e c a u s e from the admissions office strictly in quiz “[the test] Ǥ J o s e p h s o n of the perfect, prestigious order to Institute conductwas bad university or college. remorse on the student’s show stued its annual Report and testing [the class] on Without that name part and it is likely that Card on the Ethics of dents that all the wrong things. Also, stamped on the college the student will continue are American Youth, sur- there [he/she] looked around and diploma, success will never to cheat. veying close to 30,000 c o n s e saw everyone else cheatb e The school administraquences for high school students Ǥ ing.” achieved. tion needs cheating. across the United It seems that students It is to set an Students cannot be States. The results validatt h i s so desperately want to example expected to stop sharing ed the growing trend of e x t r e m e have good grades and do n d answers and cheating on a cheating among high mentality well in school that some tests or quizzes when it d e m o n school students, with 64% describe cheating as t h a t Ǥ seems that teachers are s t r a t e almost a necessity. drives “Grades are

ǯ simply turning their Ǥ t h a t m a n y Cherry heads to any cheating more important high school students to disHill East’s than morality these ʹͲͲͺ going on in the classregard the ethical values “commitment to integrity days,” wrote one ǡ room. instilled in them from a and ethical conduct built As part of the mission student in response very young age. This insuron trust and personal to why has he/she ͸ͶΨ ͵ͲǡͲͲͲ statement of Cherry Hill mountable pressure to respect” is not merely a colEast’s Honor Code, printed cheated. Another have perfect grades leads lection of words printed in student confessed in each student’s hometo cheating. work planner, to cheating on a test In a survey regarding or quiz “because it is stated that the academic integrity of “Instilling a you want a good Ǥ 189 randomly-selected stusense of honor grade, regardless dents at East, the results and high princiof students admitting to [of] how you get it.” indicated a strong presence ples that having cheated on a test Although not all stuof the unspoken subject. extend to all the year before. dents have felt the acaWhether it is creating a facets of life is a But there seems to be a demic pressure that caused cheat sheet, writing the crucial aspect of lack of remorse when them to cheat on a test or answers on the palm of a a liberal educagrades are achieved quiz, many of hand or tion.” However, through unethical meththese stupeering on the rare ods. Ninety-two percent of dents feel over a occasion that a the students surveyed in pressure classstudent is the 2008 Report Card on from their mate’s caught cheating Ethics, including those peers. Of the shoulder by a teacher, who have cheated, still feel students who during a simply receivsatisfied with their own indicated t e s t , the homework planners. It ing a zero on the assigncharacter and ethics. they 56% of - Student response to why he/she that is time to be honest as an ment will not help teach And students will connot s u r - has given a classmate an asnwer have individual and as an acaany values—especially if it tinue to cheat without guilt cheated on a v e y e d on a test demic institution. is a repeat violation. until there are consetest or quiz, students Instead, students should quences.

72% are still willing to tell admit to cheating on a test be required to have a At East, 96 of 104, or a classmate or friend an or quiz during high school. meeting with the 92% of stuanswer on a test, or at The most common readents surleast give them some type sons students explained for veyed who of hint to help them cheating were to get good have find the answer. grades and to compensate

“If I let because they were not someone copy prepared for a test.

something One student wrote on

once, later the survey that he or Ǥ down the road she has cheated “in they should be cases in which a teacher, his/her parents willing to let certain average and the grade level me copy someabsolutely had principal to disthing,” wrote to be maincuss the issue one student. tained.” and the disciThe “genO t h e r plinary erosity” of students students t o explained on the surveys t h a t they

By Julia Finkel (‘10)

Eastside Opinions Editor

ͻͶΨ

Dz

Ǥdz

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Dz

ǡ ǡ

Ǥdz

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Nickee Plaksen (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Students find different ways to cheat on a test or quiz, including copying off a peer’s test, using a cell phone to look up answers and writing answers on their arms.

GLOBAL COMMENTARY

Page 20

EASTSIDE

A Brief Timeline of Haitian History pre1492 1492

14921530 1665

17911804

18181843 1956 1971

1986

The Taíno people inhabit Hispaniola as five separate social bodies.

af

19861988

1988 1990 1991 1994 1996 2000 2004 2006

2010

H a i t i - The Past

By Dan Perlman (‘10) Eastside Global Commentary Editor

How to proceed: Fanmi Lavalas, the political organization which has been both the most popular in Haiti and banned by the current U.S.-backed Preval government from running in elections, must regain power. JeanBertrand Aristide, the liberation theologian who was elected many times with a strong majority, must return to his rightful place as president. The U.N. Most Taíno, estimated at 80- must mandate this, as the coup in 2004 was illegiti90% of population, die. mate. When the CIA and International Republican Institute (a federal body of which John McCain is a top leader) organized, funded and armed the coup Haiti passes from Spanish which held Port-au-Prince hostage and saw Aristide control to that of the French kidnapped by U.S. military and flown to Africa in 2004, it was the West India Company. culmination of a legacy of manipulation, interferHaitian Revolution: slaves ence and exploitation which has free themselves from masgone on for centers and establish thier own turies. Sending in republic; status accepted by warlords to threatJacobin France. en the Haitian capital with a bloodbath is not Pierre Boyer unifies Haiti, yet something our fedexcludes blacks from holding eral tax dollars should continue to power. do.

For too long, Haiti has been “Papa Doc” Duvalier gains squeezed between American and power in military coup and elected president after a year. French debt, subdued by multiple Duvalier dies, son “Baby Doc” American military occupations, and declares himself president for abused by capitallife. ists from both Europe and North America.

The Baby Doc flees, and Haitian economy Lieutenant-General Henri needs to be comNamphy replaces him. pletely rid of the World Bank and The IMF (International IMF’s neoliberal policies and must Monetary Fund) enacts its sever ties with structural readjustment prothem. “Structural gram, trading loans for readjustment” is altered economic programs. what turned a selfsustaining agriculture in Haiti into a market flooded by American rice; Coup led by Brigadierit put farmers out of livelihoods by the thousand and General Prosper Avril, who drove them into Port-au-Prince’s slums over the starts civilian government. course of the past few decades. When the IMF had mandated in the early eighties that Haiti go free-market and made limp and unfulfilled promises about Jean-Bertrand Aristide elected new urban industries, it led to those Haitians who president. had been living in the countryside to leave for the city’s slums more than half the current population of Aristide overthrown in a coup. Port-au-Prince. Meanwhile, a mostly rural country which once grew its own rice now sees a situation in which most people can’t afford the rice that the Clinton reinstalls Aristide on American agribusinesses dump on the island.

Industrial jobs—sweatshop work, basically—are not condition of his accepting exactly easy to come by, and landing one is not exactfree-trade impositions. ly the most fortunate thing for a person besides.

Under Preval’s government, unionization is out, “interfering with the market” is out, and safeguarding Rene Preval sworn in as the interests of anyone but the less than one percent president. of Haitians who control more than half the country’s wealth is definitely out. That order has got to go.

Aristide is elected president Fanmi Lavalas has been building a new politics based on a new democracy, and the only Haitians who have for a second time. been opposed to that have been the ones tied to Aristide and Fanmi Lavalas American power.

After American troops are expelled from Haiti, overthrown by CIA-backed investment and partnership needs to come from coup.

ALBA—Haiti should join ALBA. (ALBA, the Bolivarian Alliance for the Peoples of Our America, is a commercial alliance of left-oriented governments in US partially lifts an arms Latin America dedicated to equitable trade practices embargo from 1991. designed to wean developing countries off of reliance A magnitude 7.0 earthquake on one-sided American trade deals and investments.)

American investment should continue only under the hits the capital. It is the worst strictest government controls. What is critical is that in Haiti in 200 years and kills Haiti must not be put on life support, even if its caretens of thousands of people. taker is a country such as Lula’s benevolent Brazil under his Worker’s Party: Haiti can and must be Columbus and his band land on Hispaniola; de las Casas describes Taíno in angelic terms.

April 2010

standing on its own feet, in closest cooperation with other left-oriented governments in the region.

Agriculture should return in full force, through government programs returning those slum-trapped exfarmers who have survived the quake to the lands which most of them farmed not a generation ago. A new commercial relationship with the ALBA countries is not going to be enough to repair and sustain the country, and investment from major sources of international finance is going to be a practical necessity. That should include America, but the investments again need to be controlled—other sources can include Brazil, China and the European Union; but again, all of their operations need to be strictly monitored and heavily regulated.

Politically, the best thing that can happen for the Haitian people is to allow Lavalas to flourish. The community councils like the ti legliz (essentially directlydemocratic town meetings) should be given local political power, and a program of total nationalization (with as much collectivization of industries and agriculture as is feasible) should be combined with basically the same open democratic social policies that Aristide was running before. Aristide had been managing to do in Haiti what Chavez has been struggling to do in Venezuela, and that is to maintain an almost perfectly open traditional political space while simultaneously nurturing his base and its new mode of politics. Except this time, taking a cue from Chavez, he needs to crack down on imperialistic subversion; there is no good reason to tolerImage courtesy of LIFE ate CIA-backed criminal gangs like the Group of 184 and allow them to run rampant and hold the country at gunpoint (again). Shut their operations down, find their CIA contacts and jail them (or execute them, depending on the extent of their crimes), and corner their warlords and mercenaries and put them up to the same legal justice. Conservative opposition is fine—another U.S.backed armed coup is not.

The image of Haiti in America and Europe has always been tainted by racism, and it would be naïve to think that at some mysterious point between the beginning of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st that racism simply vanished, was solved, or faded away. Charity is never, ever an answer to the kinds of problems caused by capitalism. Frankly it is patronizing to self-aggrandize the supposed humanity of our country’s response to Haiti by thinking that a nation which has been ransacked, pillaged, and violently abused by our economic policies and cultural biases consistently for decades is all of a sudden redressed of its grievances as soon as misty-eyed Samaritans drop some cash on the ‘poor, helpless!’

Haitians.

We did not wreck Haiti alone—the French have contributed more than their share of inexcusable oppression over history themselves, and of course many Haitians have gone along with the exploitation and aided it. Yet if we sit back and let the charities do the food-distributing and money-collecting while we let the IMF’s proposed “Marshall Plan for Haiti” go through, then we’ve committed another mortal sin against social justice, and once more forced Haiti to become a land of slums on the ground and a playground for American money on paper. Haiti has fought before. Haiti has liberated itself before. Please realize: we have been suffocating it while it has been trying impossibly hard to peacefully and intelligently set itself free, again.

GLOBAL COMMENTARY

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Page 21

H a i t i : The Present

The official languages are French and Creole.

Haiti is slightly smaller than Maryland.

Haiti has 14 airports and 4 paved runways.

About 46% of the population are under the age of 18.

By Chandni Desai (‘11) Eastside Staff

Sharing a small corner of an island with the “Caribbean’s Number One Tourist Destination,” also known as the Dominican Republic, Haiti has remained the western hemisphere’s poorest country for most of its existence. Poverty reeks through its streets. More and more of its children are becoming malnourished.

HIV/AIDS is becoming a growing epidemic in this country, which is only a little smaller than the state of Maryland.

Even through these terrible social conditions, the spirit of Haiti lives strong. Not even an earthquake of 7.0 magnitude could shake the courage of these people who live true to the message of their national anthem.

Despite what its economic, technologic and health statuses may

be, Haiti will always remain “free, strong and prosperous” while its people continue to live “as brothers.”

The earthquake may have shaken the world more than it did Haiti. For one thing, it reprioritized many of the world’s concerns.

Overall, donations reached almost $400 million.

Volunteer groups spilled into the island. Emergency forces from all over the world brought with them food, supplies and medical aid. In short, the immediate reaction from almost every country was one of magnanimous compassion.

But it was clear that thoughts of compassion were not necessary. Instead, action was. The slum-like societies many thousands of Haitians found refuge to looked indigent in pictures, but in person they radiated hope and faith. The earthquake may have destroyed cities and homes, but really, it

just strengthened intangible bonds, be them among the countries, among the brothers of Haiti or between the two. The power of the Haitians’ determination to fix the damage from the earthquake was enough to power the world to help. Their immense willpower to not have the earthquake destroy them spiritually was enough to inspire the world to look at the Haitians as a new standard of courage.

For the world’s poorest country to be able to remain optimistic through this unthinkable tragedy gives me hope. For them to believe there will be a better tomorrow, even after more than 200,000 friends and family members died, is a great reminder of what true courage and true faith really are. Haiti may be the world’s poorest in an economic point of view, but it is the world’s richest in terms of strength and vigor.

97% of all land is deforested.

Average life expectancy: 61 years.

Most Haitians live on less than $2 a day.

Haiti is the Western Hemisphere’s second oldest independent country.

80% are Roman Catholic.

Photo Courtesy the BBC

GLOBAL COMMENTARY

Page 22

EASTSIDE

April 2010

H a i t i : The Future

By Jared Widman (‘10) For Eastside

“What caused the situation involving the Earthquake in Port au Prince, Haiti to be as bad as it was?” is a question everyone seems to have the answer to.

The answer itself, however, varies from person to person. A cursory Google check (not the greatest journalistic tool, but effective in demonstrating the full variety of finger-pointing involving Haiti) finds the finger for the blame surrounding Haiti pointing to global warming, alcohol, god, human greed, buildings, the United States of America, Voodoo, the Devil, France, the Haitian Government, the Haitians themselves, etc., etc. and so forth and so forth.

There is some truth here. Clearly, people who don’t know what they are talking about are going to stand up and say, “Global Warming did it,” or in the case of Pat Robertson, “Haiti made a deal with the devil,” but not all of the opinions going around are utter bunk. There is someone or something to blame. However, with this incessant finger pointing, how is the average person supposed to figure out what exactly is responsible for this crisis? Let me try to narrow it down for you.

The sheer level of poverty in Haiti is the root of the problem. Whether caused by hundreds of years of corruption and oppressive dictatorships ruling over the Haitian people, or by the highly corrupt current government (ranked 168th on the corruption perception index, making it one of the most corrupt countries in the world), or even partially enabled by the US aid embargo of Haiti during Aristide’s 2001–2004 reign, Haiti is the poorest country in the Americas. The condition of poverty leads to poor building codes, allowing for houses to be built whenever, wherever and however they need to be built to house people. Resulting from such lax building codes are houses and buildings, including the presidential palace, which are so shoddily made they wouldn’t be able to withstand any natural disaster.

The thought to rebuild Haiti exists in the minds of multiple aid organizations, but the lack of effort to actually help out seems to be keeping in stride with past national disasters. USAID and other such organizations should obviously continue to raise money, but more effort should also come from private organizations such as OXFAM and Save the Children toward rebuilding Haiti, instead of merely providing recovery

invest in agriculture. There was a mass migration to the capital city of Port Au Prince. A lack of interest from the government did not help either. In 1989 only 5 percent of the national budget went to the Ministry of Agriculture, Natural Resources and Rural Development. In the 1990’s forestation, droughts, flooding and other natural disasters finally did rural development in. Now is as good a time as any to bring it back.

During resettlement, it should be essential that Haitians settle all throughout Haiti, and not just in the capital city, Port-au-Prince.

Haitians, throughout the decade, have moved to Port-au-Prince from rural areas in droves (raising the population from just 704,776 in 2003 to around 2.5 million people today) to ultimately be disappointed by more lack of economic success.

Unfortunately, they haven’t moved since. Not only will widespread resettlement provide for a more agrarian economy, but it will ensure that another natural disaster will not be as devastating because of a much lower population density.

The next step will be tourism. Unfortunately, until Haiti’s economy stabilizes, they cannot have too much of a touristic source of income. It is a shame that a country so beautiful has such a bad rap, but realistically no one wants to visit a dirt poor country recently ravaged by natural Courtesy Carlos Barria, Reuters disaster. An economy based on tourism is an obvious next step, but it is probably advisable to Construction will continue in the ruins of Port-au-Prince. wait until the country can sustain itself and has a stable economic base before it starts throwing structure. New irrigation technologies need to out money on tourism. Idealistically, a tourismbe utilized in areas where there is little water, based economy will provide a good source of and soil from different regions needs to be income for many a Haitian and will put a lot of assessed to maximize its use for crops in order to wealth into circulation in Haiti. support local, national and international marIn order to prevent another disaster of this kets. The rebuilding of agriculture will create magnitude, it is essential that building codes many temporary jobs, as well as set up future are tightened. Groups such as Haiti Rewired economic opportunities. In addition, a more staare in the works of creating simple Earthquake bilized and sustainable economy will help Resistant construction guides in the Creole and towards building tourism and manufacturing as French languages so that buildings can be further building of the economy. rebuilt to last throughout earthquakes and Agriculture used to be a big part of Haitian other natural disasters. Schools and hospitals life, but ever since the 1950’s, agriculture in need to be rebuilt and/or built, and are essential Haiti has been rapidly declining. Up until the for the future of Haiti, and to make sure that late 1980’s it was still the mainstay of the another natural disaster does not devastate the Haitian economy, but various factors including country as it did on January 12. the continuing fragmentation of landholdings, Last of all, if you asked me what was the outdated technology, insecure land tenure, a ONE thing that could be done to reverse the sitlack of capital investment, high commodity uation in Haiti, it would be to just take The taxes, undernourished farmers, animal and Situation out of Haiti. He’s not even helping at plant diseases and inadequate infrastructure all. made it a far from desirable economic choice to aid. However it is done, most agree that Haiti should be rebuilt from scratch, and not just back to the way that it was. Here are some tips for creating a better Haiti: In order to ensure that Haiti’s economy stabilizes, Haiti needs an anchor for its economy: something that it can rely on that will be a stable source of income for Haitians, and will not falter with another disaster. As a stepping stone for a better Haiti, organizations need to work on creating a better agricultural infra-

Courtesy of www. traveladventures.org

A busy street in Haiti near the market of Cap-Haïtien. Will it return the same?

HUMOR

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Local teen in relationship

Page 23

C-Wing intersection receives a makeover C-Wing renamed “C-World” over spring break

By Bryan Sheehan (‘13) Eastside Staff

Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

By Zach Schwartz (‘10) Eastside Humor Editor

East student Dennis Blanche (’11) recently found himself a girlfriend.

But, then again, every student probably already knows that. The 17-yearold student certainly hasn’t let anyone forget.

Blanche met his new girlfriend at Sophomore Cotillion, after ditching Ingrid Bergman (’12), the sophomore who granted him admission to the dance.

“We walked in the door, I turned around and he was already gone. Then, I go home and find out that he’s dating this tramp, and it’s ‘Facebook official,’ whatever that means.

Whatever, he smelled like garlic anyway,” said Bergman.

Since cotillion, Blanche has spared no effort to let everyone know that he is seeing someone. A friend of

Blanche, who wishes to remain anonymous, told an Eastside reporter how bad the situation has become.

“I asked him to go see When in Rome with some of the guys—he’s always liked trite, clichéd romantic comedies—and he just tells me, ‘Oh, I saw that last week, with MY GIRLFRIEND.’ He put a lot of stress on the word ‘girlfriend,’ and he dragged it out for a full five seconds at least. That’s when I knew something weird was going on.”

Blanche’s friends aren’t the only ones miffed by his newfound relationship. It seems that the entire East student body and faculty have taken notice of the situation...not that Blanche has given them any other choice.

“He can work the topic into any conversation,” Sydney Geemer (’11) said.

“We were having a conver-

sation about ice-fishing, and he just slides over and says he’d like to take HIS GIRLFRIEND to go icefishing someday. That sounds like a terrible idea for a date!”

In addition, Blanche has discovered that social networking sites are the perfect avenues for letting people know of his significant other. Blanche’s Facebook profile is currently composed entirely of romantic statuses (“Hanging out with my baby <3”), sickeningly sweet wall posts from each member of the happy couple and hundreds of pictures of the two taken on Mac Photobooth.

When asked how she was enjoying the attention, Blanche’s girlfriend weakly offered, “He’s pretty okay, I guess.”

Those who encounter Blanche during the course of a school day are advised to avoid eye contact.

C-wing intersection has always been swimming with activity, but never like this.

Officials from the popular amusement park “Sea World” have decided that the C-wing intersection at Cherry Hill East would be the perfect place to put their newest Sea World location.

In a press conference that was held in the middle of the intersection last Monday, Sea World “SeaE-O” Marlon Fisher said that he was “overjoyed in the opportunity to put a new Sea World park at East.”

When asked for a potential name for this theme park, Fisher suggested “CWorld,” insisting that it was a clever play on words.

East Principal Ron O’Schmeeza applauded his creativity.

However, it seems that in the past week, students have not fully adjusted to the new environment.

The star attraction of the new C-wing intersection was involved in a small scuffle.

On April 12, between fifth and sixth period, a student was involved in an altercation with Shazoo the whale, which led to an all-out brawl between students, penguins and dolphins.

“I don’t know what happened. I was just floating through the hall when all of a sudden this kid rammed into me,” Shazoo said. “I wasn’t going to take that. Shazoo don’t play that.”

The student, who wished to remain anonymous, was unable to comment, as he is in the hospital recovering from a major concussion, a broken arm and multiple penguin bites.

For now, it looks as if CWorld will add to the clutter of the C-wing intersection, but it is unlikely most students will notice.

Art by Nicolle Rochino (‘10)/ Eastside Art Director

Bugged Webcam turns teen into YouTube Star

By Gina Villecco (‘11) Eastside Staff

St. Raúl Prep – a private Catholic high school in New Jersey – used laptop webcams to spy on its students, but ended up turning one student into a YouTube star.

“I heard about this video going around about this kid in my grade,” said St. Raúl Prep’s starting quarterback John Landon (’10). “I always assumed he was an uptight, reserved kid until my friend showed me the video. He’s a hit!”

Mason Warrener (’11), junior class president and active member of DECA, was caught on one of the school’s webcams juggling two grapefruits in the library while standing on a skateboard and singing the Canadian national anthem.

The webcams were placed in areas around the schools where the most suspicious activity occurs. The school’s main intention was to counteract a sudden drug deal phenomenon.

“I met up with some friends after school one day because we were working on a project,” said Warrener. “My one friend dared me to do the most obnoxious thing I could think of and see how long it would take me to get in trouble. It took less than a minute.”

The video was leaked onto the web three days after the incident by cam-

pus policeman Morgan Peyton, 42, who said, “It’s not every day that you come across interesting tapes on the security cameras. It made me laugh out loud and I’m a middle-aged man.

Other people needed to see this.”

Thanks to Peyton, Warrener now receives several bags of fan-mail each week, and the video “Canadian Skate-

“We got bored, so my one friend dared me to do the most obnoxious thing I could think of and see how long it would take me to get in trouble. It took less than a minute.”

-Mason Warrener (‘11)

fruit Juice” has already received over six million views.

“I love the attention,” said Warrener. “I’ve always wanted to do something in school that would get me noticed. Now I’m known all over the world.”

Lawrence, 46, and Emily Warrener, 44, Mason’s parents, have no particular feelings towards their son’s revealed tape.

“We always knew Mason was quite the character,” said Lawrence, “so

this is no surprise to us.”

According to a poll taken by the student body, 58 percent of the students at St. Raúl Prep said that they would want to be friends with Mason after seeing this video if they did not know him. However, 34 percent said they would be friends with him even if they hadn’t seen the video and eight percent said that this video would make them not want to be friends with him.

However, Mason is not complaining about the results.

“I really want to run for Overall Student Body President. This video is a great way to expand my popularity, and I’m really grateful,” said Mason.

According to St. Raúl Prep librarian Gianna Quinton, 23, the library, thanks to Mason and Peyton, is “more crowded than ever...People are just standing around the library and doing ridiculous things.”

The school has since removed the hidden webcams from the library and has opted for old-fashioned hall monitors. An announcement was made for several days during the students’ homeroom to ensure the students that there are no more hidden webcams in the library, and the library now prohibits anything but individual studying and authorized tutoring.

Now, everything at St. Raúl Prep is back to normal, but Mason’s stardom is still on the rise.

What does East think of Warrener’s stunt?

“What kind of American sings the Canadian national anthem?

Treason!”

- Ronald Briggs (‘10) “Six million views? Mere peanuts. ‘Chocolate Rain’ will always have a special place in my heart.”

- Dr. Ron O’ Schmeeza “What I want to know is how they hooked a webcam up to a computer running Windows ‘98.

That’s just a mystery.”

-Alberta Melvin (‘11) “Am I, like, the only one who uses the library - I mean Media Center - for books?”

- Emma Lieh (‘13)

HUMOR

Page 24

EASTSIDE

April 2010

BOE demands new murals for East’s hallways

By Avra Bossov (‘11) Eastside News/Features Editor

This F-wing mural has a lot to say, but the overall message is clear: This Chinese man finds radios extremely confusing.

While the Bored of Education is faced with budget cuts due to the economic climate, the BOE has seen it fit for Cherry Hill East to undergo a costly, much-needed mural makeover.

BOE policy has instated specific guidelines for determining the messages murals are sending, after there has been endemic dropout rates, low test scores and parties (at which illegal substances are present) held on school grounds on the roof of Cwing fourth floor. The BOE has attributed the endemic to the murals on the walls of Cherry Hill High School East.

Currently, murals on the walls of Cwing first floor include that of fish, vegetables and spiders—all of which are geared towards appreciating nature and developing healthy eating habits. These murals are being changed to the golden arches of McDonald’s, transfats and platypuses, in order to instill within the student body a flair for obesity and patriotic appreciation for globalization of American corporations, both of which, the BOE says “will provide students with the foundation they will need after they graduate high school.”

Other murals in that area include mushrooms (East’s survival guide of how to live in the wild), lettuce, various herbs (which may be misconstrued as promoting a certain illegal substance) and a scene of the ocean, containing several marine animals from completely different climates, as well as a mermaid. The lettuce mural,

A blatant knock-off of Vincent Van Gogh’s “Starry Night.”

“Outstanding Women in History,” including a mustachioed Susan B. Anthony and Cleopatra.

Photos by Zach Schwartz (‘10)/ Eastside Humor Editor

Located in first-floor C-wing, this mural reminds students of the true horror involved in their creation.

“iPad a hastily-throwntogether mess,” says Jobs

By Zach Schwartz (‘10) Eastide Humor Editor

The iPad has been generating nonstop buzz among consumers since rumors of its existence first made their way onto the internet. After Apple CEO Steve Jobs officially announced the rumored “Apple Tablet” at a widely publicized press conference, reactions were mixed. Was it a revolutionary new personal computer? Or was it simply an iTouch, scaled up to 500% its normal size?

Recently, in light of the massive financial success Apple is enjoying following the iPad’s launch, Apple held a press conference to address its loyal fans. Jobs, slightly inebriated and donning his trademark turtleneck sweater to better hide his vampire bites, took the stage.

After repeatedly testing the microphone on the podium by quietly repeat-

ing obscenities, Jobs began his speech saying, “Man, I can’t believe you guys are actually buying this thing!

I figured I could throw a gizmo together in ten minutes based on old technology, attach an ‘i’ to the front...Honestly, I’m pretty convinced that you people will really buy anything I tell you to. ” Jobs had several slides to display, the first group containing lots of charts (drawn in crayon, seemingly in a hurry) detailing that there were more iPads sold than there were people on Earth, and that iPads, due to a technicality, are now the dominant species on earth. When beginning the second group of slides, Jobs spoke again.

“Seriously, you guys are really a bunch of saps.”

Jobs switched to a slide displaying his original design specs, pointing out crudely-drawn cartoons of himself attaching several

iTouch units together with duct tape.

“I drew these backstage, five minutes before the announcement.

Sorry about the poor quality of the drawings, by the way: I hadn’t slept in five days.

The prototype was made by filing down the edges of iTouch units and hot-gluing them together. Then someone suggested we throw some spreadsheet capabilities in there and market this thing as a legitimate computer. We were just making it up as we went along, honestly.”

After a few embarrassing photos of Jobs at the iPad launch party—which had been accidentally added to the slideshow— were cycled through, the smug CEO finished his presentation, taking a swig out of a bottle hidden inside a paper bag and adding, “Thanks for helping me out, guys. Just so you know, it really is just a gigantic iTouch.”

specifically, “will remain on East’s walls forever,” according to board member Constance Naggy.

On the edge of C-wing intersection, the murals support the theory of evolution by featuring fetuses transforming into the various stages of mankind and monkeys. “[The evolution murals] are direct threats to the creationism being taught in our school! According to legislation in Tennessee as of March 1925, it is illegal for any public school teacher to ‘teach any theory that denies the story of the divine creation of man as taught in the Bible,’” said BOE President Barbie Monroe.

Murals in A-wing also are being painted over or replaced, such as those with influential figures in society, due to parents’ complaints that their children “do not need to be exposed to famous people other than Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana and Robert Pattinson.”

There have been other complaints that the paintings are not even accurate representations. Complainers have cited that Joan of Arc and Cleopatra “look too similar—they’re practically twins according to the mural,” Gandhi only has one arm and Susan B. Anthony has a moustache. The only influential figure to remain untouched is that over the Little Theater entrance of Borat.

The Bored of Education is scheduled to begin Cherry Hill East’s mural makeover the week of May 3, since that is the only available time on the district calendar. AP tests have been rescheduled to July in order to conduct the makeover.

“Mathematical Science”, a mural that designates the entrance to Cafeteria-1.

April 2010

HUMOR This is a load of barnacles!

EASTSIDE

By Rich Hanna (‘10)

Page 25

Senior health: overseas

Eastside Stafff

By Gina Villecco (‘11) No. I’m not talking Eastside Staff about some cartoon character from a show based on a Great Britain has revolutionized porous invertebrate, and I’m exercise by creating the first playground not talking about that piece of specifically for people of age sixty and older. calamari you are currently chewing.

The equipment, which includes a stationary I’m talking about giant squid. That’s bike, a cross-trainer and a sit-up bench, will cover right, this is the real deal.

1,345 square feet in Hyde Park’s Pavillion Tennis Whether you were aware of it or not, these mammoth mollusks called and Bowls Center.

“Humboldt squid” (also known as “jumbo” or “flying” squid) of the deep sea have “Every park has a children's playground; very few been surfacing all around the California coast and are causing quite a stir. have playgrounds for adults, and none have playFishermen report having caught over four hundred of the up to sixty-pound creatures grounds for the elderly,” said Madeline Elsdon, upon twilight fishing trips over a mere four days in early February. whose local residents' association recieved $60,000 The daring fools obviously have no inkling of the dangerous nature of such fleets of in funding towards this project. undersea demons. Seriously, have they never seen the monster flicks where the terribly According to Michelle Mitchell, the director of realistic squid bashes the even-more-realistic ship to smithereens? The truth behind the local residents' association, this new senior these box office hits can’t be denied! playground "could be a great way to encour“Most of the fish we catch are better to eat, but they don't give you much of a fight,” age older people to exercise and socialize." said Robert Woodbury from Newport Landing Sportfishing. “[The squid were] trying to Upon completion, the park will be crawl around and blow ink all over everybody.” titled "Hyde Park Senior Just off of Japan's Ogasawara Islands, scientists resurrected the nightmarish beast Playground." with snapshots of a 25-foot behemoth just strolling through the waters…menacingly.

Japan had better keep an eye out, because this deep-sea devil could come ashore "Frankly, riding Godzilla for all we know. it's the first time I've “In bad years it could be a problem to have a new predator competing at the ever heard of such a thing," top of the food chain,” said Zeke Grader, the executive director of the Pacific said spokesman Stefano Coast Federation of Fishermen’s Association.

Gelmini. "It looks like a nice iniSo how can you prepare for the squid armada? Lock your doors, tiative."

Avoid going out at night and, if you happen to hear the flopping, According to Elsdon, a lot of senior popping sounds of those suction cups creeping down a hallcitizens are badly affected by the way hallway…RUN. Don’t look back. Or else you may recession and are less likely to subnot get the chance to let out a cry for HEL-! scribe to a gym because of this.

"We hope that the playground Photo by Zach Schwartz (‘10)/ will encourage users to socialize Eastside Humor Editor and have fun together.

Thanks People...are never too old to many conto play," Elsdon said. cerned civilians, Britain's senior citizens can now exercise easily and have the chance of feeling somewhat young again.

Australia gets antsy

By Alex Krefetz (‘10) Eastside Stafff

It seems the reign of terror caused by toxic cane toads may finally be coming to an end, thanks to an unlikely tactic.

Scientists have begun using cat food to attract carnivorous ants that are immune to the toad’s toxic make-up.

Photo courtesy of "A single toad can have 30,000 eggs in a clutch, The Associated Press so there's a heck of a lot of tadpoles turning into toads along the edge of a billabong. You can liter"The ally have tens of thousands of toads emerging at ants rapidly discovpretty much the same time,” said researcher ered the cat food and Rick Shine, while elaborating on why it was thought it tasted great,” said so necessary to lower the toad numbers.

Shine. “The worker ants then leave The cat food is used to attract a trails back to the nest, encouraging group of carnivorous ants to the other ants to come out there and forage in homes of the cane toads. that area. Within a very short period of time we got lots of ants in the same area as the toads are."

The toads originated in Hawaii, but were brought to Australia in 1935 to control the Scientists number of cane beetles. However, in addilike Shine are tion to affecting cane beetle numbers, the excited to see how the toads have also hurt the populations of cat food works on a larger snakes, gorilla lizards and quolls. The scale because the new method toads have even been able to hurt is both inexpensive and relativehuman beings unfortunate ly easy to perform. enough to encounter “I'm optimistic that we'll find them. ways to reduce toads numbers, I think I'd have to be a very optimistic person indeed to think we'll ever get rid of cane toads from Australia," Shine added.

Guess what? All of these stories are true.

Tentacles by Jason Park (‘10)/ Eastside Staff

HUMOR

Page 26

EASTSIDE

April 2010

Newsbriefs and Overheard logo by Sally Yang (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director

Eastside Stafff

Mr. Garconi’s English class was interrupted last Tuesday when a small bird flew in through an open window. Students claim that the suspected avian, thought to be a magenta swallow, swooped in through the window, scattering everyone’s papers before perching atop the door frame. The bird then went on to eat one student’s lunch, which consisted of a tuna sandwich and a bag of lime gummy worms. The bird has currently taken residence in Mr. Garconi’s hair, where a thorough search is still underway. No news yet of any psychological damage in Mr. Garconi’s students. Coincidentally, the book they were discussing was “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

“She was so bendy.

Why do you think I dated her?”

-An East student, on dating Elastigirl.

East’s new fashion craze: lab aprons

By Avra Bossov (‘11)

-A Teacher, on the harmful effects of redundancy on an unborn fetus.

“Alcohol is the leading cause of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

Eastside News/Features Editor

Senior prom to disappoint

By Andrew Huff (‘10) Eastside Humor Editor

Much to the chagrin of the East’s senior class, the 2010 senior prom will be held in Cafeteria 1.

Class president Laura Boss (’10) said, “Every venue hung up on me. They all think the senior class is some chaotic, divisive group of incessant bickerers. We only bicker some of the time.”

Boss could not comment any further, and reportedly rushed off to diffuse a fight between several hundred seniors on Twitter about what species of bird the Twitter icon is.

Principal Ron O’ Schmeeza, too, seemed reluctant about hosting the prom in a cafeteria. “Although I find its color scheme to be quite sublime, I worry that a student will start a ‘Free Speech’ riot if his date cannot hear him over the music. Therefore, I have made the executive decision to have a silent prom this year.”

In order to diffuse any potential student conflicts during the event, the theme of “The Golden Rule” received a majority vote by the senior class. However, due to budget

“Guess who just ate twenty kilograms of human flesh? This guy.”

-An East student, who may or may not be a zombie.

“What would happen if it rained snow?”

By Adam Ritz (‘10)

-An East student, demonstrating a severely lacking knowledge of how weather works.

Small bird terrorizes classroom

Ugg boots, Northface jackets, skinny jeans and now, the fashion trend gripping the halls of Cherry Hill High School East: the lab apron.

Lab aprons have always been stylish in the science department, but students have now been spotted in C-wing intersection wearing lab aprons.

“They’re, like, totally the new LBD – little black dress. Every girl needs to have one of these,” said Teen Vogue editor Classy Fauxfashy.

Lab aprons are simple in design, with a basic black, flame retardent front, tie around the waist and around the neck as a

“Poor woman. It must be hard... having a baby in your stomach.”

-A sympathetic student

Girl 1: “What are you drinking?

Girl 2: Baby formula. It’s luscious breast milk!”

halter top and are open at the back allowing wearers to show off some skin.

This rise in popularity has made students more eager to go to science class.

“All of a sudden, students leave their other classes early to get to science class.

It’s a strange phenomenon... they are fighting over which apron they get,” said chemistry teacher Mr. Tim Hernerd. “I’m beginning to receive complaints from other teachers.”

There are only two hundred aprons available, though, so students have started appealling to the Board of Education to purchase enough aprons for every student in the school.

Good thing these aprons are flame retardent, because they’re that hot.

UNDERGROUND

April 2010

EASTSIDE

Page 27

Summer tours and festivals: which to hit up and which to miss It may be only April and summer tour madness hasn’t necessarily started yet, but before you know it there will be more festivals and tours for you to choose from than you ever thought possible. Here are some of the bigger ones; read on and find out which ones are worth your money.

By Jason Cominetto (‘10) Easrside Underground Editor

When: July 16 Cost: Unknow (at Susquehanna Bank Center) Do you like n hats and hood excessive eyeliner, flopp ies y ? hair, flat-brim More importa If so, Warped ntly, do med is once again Tour is perfect for you. Unyou still use myspace? more about th the hotspot for up-and-c surprisingly, this tour ridden messa eir looks than their soun oming artists who care may sound hages to their mostly middle d to preach their angstschool-aged fan industry to eitrsh, but almost every artis t on the bill base. It absolutely no her a) get girls or b) ge mu t money, and is in the sic al prowess or to spread. Ju possess ha ve an headache: Br st taking a look at who’s y significant message Hey Monday, eathe Electric, Breathe Ca playing gives me a mention AttacBring Me the Horizon, Ne rolina, You Me at Six, tors of “crabk Attack, the infamous verShoutNever... not to auto-tune using BrokenCYDE core,” whose heinousn inven. ess rivals that of It’s a real sh am e these band because there s are as well. Certaare some decent artists playing Warped Tour, making an ap Dropkick Mu in spots on the tour wi pearance rp hy s (no t Jersey howe ll be treated to the Andrew W.K. ve will be on the r) metal” veteran bandwagon as and the legendary well. Also, NJ every other ba s the Dillinger Escape “meth described as nd out of the water with Plan are sure to blow th pu eir re performance chaos… Hope bands a thing best ful ly they’ll show or two. the other My advice all costs. My to potential concertgoers diary and sta advice to the musicians is to avoid this tour at y off of the sta is to keep a ge.

– 13 When: June 10 $249.50 nnessee, Cost: $234.50 -nnaroo has to take place in Te tivals or Bo It’s a shame best out of any of the other fes nnaroo Bo as it is easily thece this summer. What helps ere is an tours taking plathe crowd is its diversity. Thre playing m the t fro ou t music stand ou find grossly every taste of artist for literal Where else are you going to liner Dave at this festival. s GWAR playing under head performer out shock rocker? With a few exceptions, every form, and Matthews Bandthe respected genres they per of “scene” is talented in them fall under the categoryartists perstand-out hardly any of n Prine, d Tour). Some (that’s for Warpearoo are Stevie Wonder, Joh ants and forming at Bonn lvins, They Might be Gi Clutch, The Me orites wd-pleasing favcy one Baroness. e variety of cro With such a widlegends to tickle everyone’s fan d ee-hundred and undergroun er, shelling out almost thr nnessee is way or the othket and trekking down to Teice for any best cho bucks for a tic it. Definitely the completely worth er. music lov

Art by Davina Perera (‘10)/Eastside Staff Photo Illustration by Steven Markowitz (‘10)/ Eastside Underground Editor

When: May 1 – 2 Cost: $57 a day Taking place in East for East students, but Rutherford, NJ, Bamboozle is an eas sort of child between is it even worth the trip? In a way, Bamy commute number of talentless Warped Tour and Bonnaroo, in that there boozle is a bands (Warped Tour), are ber of artists that bra yet there are also a goo a good d numand originality to thench out from this stereotype that add new mix sounds (Bo nna roo). Jus which mostly consist s of pop-punk (Paramt take a look at the lineup, breakdown worship (Em ore, Relient K), uno riginal (Ke$ha, Drake). How mure, Of Mice and Men) and god-awful greatly talented arti ever, in this sea of terrible music there hip hop sts are scat some tered throughout. Wee second night, is sur zer, headlin under them, Girl Talprisingly decent compared to the artistser of the Aquabats are sure to k will definitely put on a great perform playing make the festival worbring the fun and musical geniuses Protestance, The th the Hero The real question is, going to on their own. will it be worth sitting artists just to hear thes through all the other e few bad ?

Wit h tick ets at 57 dollars a pop to have to wager not. general area when Plus I wouldn’t want to have to hurt any, I’m going Bul one let in the for My Valentine takes the enough to avoid the sho stage, reason w.

nk Center) Susquehanna Ba When: July 23 (at had wn st year this tour st Cost: Unkno hty have fallen. La s. La Oh, how the mig mer tour line-ups for metal fan oth, hem ibal Corpse, Be some one of the best sum re ed Slayer, Cann year’s tour featurrder and other favorites. There wetine and Black Dahlia Mu bands, like Bullet for My Valen . par ler r was kil extremely sub but overall the tou of artists Marilyn Manson, a complete change in the type oted to This year shows t year’s show was mostly dev likes las the as es ere tur Wh fea g. eup playin acts, this year’s lin , In This true heavy metal ath Punch, Norma Jean, Atreyu pen to hap De t jus ger t ds tha ban of Five Fin all , gue Pla of the same Moment and Windss and make terrible music at speaks sell a lot of recordis headlining, a statement which and best time. Also, Korn had potential to be the biggest out. For for itself. What metal heads has sold itself annual tour for ove and legendary grolling shame… mer Rob Zombie Renowned perfor of God make the show worth she y pla m metal group Lambir own, but it’s a shame to see the Fall and the cash out on theer artists such as Shadows tal heads under Korn. Othtty good incentive for certain me formers.

Chimaira are pre rly counterbalance the other per tely is a to go, but don’t nea ther skippable tour, but it defini This isn’t an altoge. disappointing one

Step into the dark past with Dark Cabaret

By Rob Incollingo (‘10) Eastside Editor-In-Chief

The year is 1938, and you have had enough of the big band scene. It’s drizzling as you step out of your small apartment and into the chilly Chicago night. Musing on the rumblings in Europe, you turn off the neon-lit thoroughfare and begin down a dingy side street. A well-worn door presents itself through the gloom. You duck inside and find yourself in another world.

Cabaret music has been around since the earlier part of the previous century, taking its roots in western European countries, most notably France. When cabaret made it to the United States, the styles varied from city to city. For example, while the Chicago cabaret scene involved mainly large groups of instrumentalists, New York-style cabaret focused mainly on single vocalists. Seventy-odd years later, the scene is much the same. While the political

satire, burlesque and theater acts have remained largely untouched, the music associated with the cabaret clubs of the ’20s, ’30s and ’40s has taken a turn to accommodate the tastes of the next, next generation.

Dark Cabaret, as it is called, is a blend of what is most often referred to as “goth music,” and the traditional piano-and-drum-driven quasi-showtunes of the cabaret. While the cabaret scene is romanticized from a 21st century perspective as being dark and gritty, Dark Cabaret music takes this nostalgia and turns it up to the point where the gloominess in the lyrics and music becomes noticeable. Despite the specificity of the genre, there are a surprising number of artists associated with this style of music.

Perhaps the most famous Dark Cabaret act is the Dresden Dolls. Taking their name from the German city firebombed by Allied forces during WWII, Amanda Palmer (vocals, piano) and

Brian Viglione (drums) employ the darker lyrics and “strange” stage presence of the cabaret in their music. Dressing up in mime paint and early 20th century clothes, the Dresden Dolls exemplify the variety present in the Dark Cabaret genre. As with any cabaret music, themes of love and confect are ever present in their songs. Some of their more famous songs include “Coin-operated Boy” and “Girl Anachronism.”

The notion of an underground musical resistance still attracts many listeners who feel they have been disillusioned by hollow popular music. The mix of danger, variety and even sensuality associated with the cabaret scene still draws much the same audience today as it did during the formative years of the previous century. For those of you looking for an escape from the bright lights and fireworks of the popular scene, come in and grab a table. The show’s already begun.

Page 28

UNDERGROUND

Horror music sure to horrify listeners

By Bryan Sheehan (‘13) Eastside Staff

Music can entertain, send a message or influence someone to do something. This mainstream idea for music is fine, but it does not always satisfy what the listener wants.

Horror music, a genre that consists mainly of metal music with heavy drumbeats, guitar solos and unconventional singing styles, covers themes that are lyrically anything but mainstream. Bands like Cannibal Corpse, Rammstein and King Diamond sing about death and gore, ideas that are far from the usual love stories and everyday problems. This combination of music and lyrics makes for a great genre to listen to. So if you’re tired of the same music, and want to hear something darker, put these artists on and enjoy: Cannibal Corpse Cannibal Corpse has been putting out music with lyrics to make you squirm for twenty years. With songs like “Hammer Smashed Face” and “A Skull Full of Maggots,” they cover morbid topics that are downright terrifying. Possibly their best album is the 1996 release Vile.

Throughout the album, front-man George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher growls the lyrics in a guttural way, often called “death growling,” adding to the harshness of the songs that are mostly about death, dying and being eaten. The song “Mummified in Barbed Wire” details the process of wrapping a dead body in barbed wire while ripping flesh and bone away. The quick tempo of the song complements the deep vocals and thrashing guitar. Their latest release, Evisceration Plague is their eleventh studio album since their start in 1988.

Rammstein Even if you don’t understand the lyrics, sung in German, you can easily understand that their music is scary. The music is a heavy mix of industrial-style metal and deep-voiced lyrics from lead singer Till Lindemann. Their songs are about a wide variety of topics, ranging from cannibalism to rape and everything in between. But even more than the lyrics is the overall eerie and creepy feel to their songs. Their stage show can best be described as an industrial metal version of KISS, with gigantic pyrotechnics, flame-throwers, simulated scenes to mirror their lyrics and staged attacks on their keyboardist Flake Lorenz. They have put out six albums, including 2009’s Liebe Ist fur Alle Da (Love is For All) and a DVD set entitled Volkerball, which shows performances by the band in France, Japan, England and Russia.

King Diamond With albums that tell stories with a horror theme and the amazing falsetto of the lead singer King Diamond (the person), King Diamond (the band) fits right in with the horror genre. In their 1987 release Abigail, the songs tell a story about a young couple who moves into a house haunted by the spirit of a stillborn child, who is then reborn to the young couple. King Diamond’s unique vocals are stunning, with a constant change between a deep singing voice and a ghoulish falsetto. In “A Mansion in Darkness,” the music has a Judas Priest style tempo to it and long guitar solos to boot. To best understand the horror of the music, one should listen to the whole album. At this point, lead singer Diamond is 53, and says he has no plans for a new album, leaving the band with a total of 12 studio albums.

Horror music is an interesting genre.

The style is anything but mainstream, and the music itself is as good as it can be scary. There are many artists in this genre to explore and the music is great to listen to, especially if you are fed up with overly upbeat pop music.

EASTSIDE

April 2010

A bloody good time at Monster Mania

horror director Dario Argento.

All of these horror all-stars provided pictures and signings, as As the roads flooded and well as question and answer sesstreetlights swayed in the wind, sions with showings of their some “unconventional convenwork. The casts of My Bloody tionists” celebrated their love of Valentine and Night of the Creeps blood and gore at the annual were also in attendance for their Monster Mania horror convenrespective reunions, adding to tion at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in the many well-received events at Cherry Hill. The convention, the convention. Friday featured which takes place every March the world premiere of a new film and August, is a place for horror

by Jay Woelfel, Closed for the and sci-fi fans to congregate and Season. Saturday meet some of the included a staging creators of cerof Charlie Band’s tain murderous “Full Moon Horror films. The most Road Show,” a recent one, bloody vaudevilwhich took place lian stage performMarch 12-14, ance with a attracted a surhealthy dose of prisingly large audience participaturnout considertion.

And, of ing the terrible course, the tradiweather. tional screening of When first The Rocky Horror entering the Picture Show crowded convenoccurred Saturday tion, one’s eyes night, complete are flooded with with all the accouthe colors coming trements. Sunday from the copious ended the convenvendors station with a Charity tioned around Auction. the main ballPeople from all rooms. The prodover the United ucts offered States fly in to range from e x p e r i e n c e Jason Cominetto (‘10)/Eastside Underground Editor Gremlins action Monster Mania for figures to Doctor Make-up artists and costume designers gather in numbers to a variety of reaWho DVDs, and show off their work sons. everything in The quirky and fun atmosconvention last August, Adam between. Of particular note was phere, combined with rare items West, the first actor to play a DVD vendor selling the to purchase and celebrities on Batman, made a splash by extremely rare Mystery Science display, makes for a fantastic appearing and telling tons of Theatre 3000 “Season 0,” which weekend. The local storm seemed humorous anecdotes. Robert was only broadcasted on a small only to fuel the fans more, and Englund, who plays the masslocal television channel. Also of provide some interesting chances murdering Freddy Krueger, also note was Terrance Zdunich sellfor fright. Stories abound of frequents the convention. ing first-print editions of his new Saturday night, when the storm Although he was not in attencomic, The Molting. caused lights in the hotel to flickdance this year, replicas of his The horror fans also provide a er on and off at random. While signature bladed glove were still considerable amount of color to most would feel inconvenienced for sale, and plenty of Nightmare the convention. Costumed and by this, the fans found it as an on Elm Street films were shown. outlandishly-dressed fans popuopportunity to scare each other This year, the blood-splattered late a good deal of the convenwith shouts, scary masks and stars included actors Jake and tion. In past years, there have other frightful paraphernalia.

Gary Busey, actor Malcolm been Predators, Freddy This exemplifies the crazy things Mcdowell, writer/composer/star Kreugers, Lizardmen, Toxic that can happen at Monster of Repo! The Genetic Opera Avengers and anything else Mania.

Terrance Zdunich and Italian

By Kyle Levine-Northrup (‘10)

For Eastside

imaginable. This year was not a disappointment, as Jack Sparrow attended, along with an eerily convincing Mario and a zombified wrestler.

But vendors and costumes are not all that is to be seen at Monster Mania, as the creators and stars of horror films are also there to meet and greet. Past stars have included Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead), Alice Cooper and many others. At the

Dodgeball To u r n a m e n t - Spring 2010 Forms are available in F087 and Communications.

Don’t miss out on one of t h e b i g g e s t e v e n ts o f t h e y e a r.

Jason Cominetto (‘10)/Eastside Underground Editor

Films such as Cherry Hill High, usually impossible to find, are sold in abundance.

L e g e n d s w i l l b e m a de o n M ay 2 7 .

April 2010

SPORTS Boys’ Lacrosse

EASTSIDE

Head Coach: Mr. Erick Wood Assistant Coaches: Mr. Tom Rosenberg and Mr. Lou Caveliere Last Season’s Record: 3-11 Key Players: John DiNunzio (’11), Kevin Hansen (’10), Jared Hand (’12), Matt Tarnopol (’11), Brett Roseman (’12), Marc Rothman (’12), Leonard Fussel (’11), Ryan Delaney (’10), Dov Halevy (’10) Coach’s Quote: “We will definitely be competitive. We have a lot of good young players, and we are excited,” said Wood.

Page 29

Girls’ Lacrosse

Head Coach: Mrs. Kim Gatelein Assistant Coach: Ms. Katie Boyle Last Season’s Record: 10-9 Key Players: Tina Paglione (‘10), Sarah Basehore (‘10), Caroline DiBartolomeo (‘11) Coach Quote: We are young, but we have a lot of potential and we will see if we live up to it,” said Gatelein.

Boys’ Tennis

Lacrosse Player Jared Hand (‘12)

Head Coach: Mr. Ralph Ipri Assistant Coach: Mr. Greg deWolf Last Season’s Record: 22-2, Lost in South Jersey Group 4 Final to Lenape, 3-2 Key Players: Max Rubin (‘10), Sebastian Gonzalez (‘12), Mike Davis (‘10), Nikhil Yegya-Raman (‘10) Coach’s Quote: “One of our goals is to get to the South Jersey final and win it,” said Ipri.

Spring Sports Preview

Golfer Eric Spiller (‘10)

(Go to page 30 for more on East’s top spring athletes)

Golf

Boys’ Track

Head Coach: Mr. Ryan James Last Year: Made playoffs and lost in the state tournament. Although no standings in the tournament are official, James estimates they came in 5th or 6th place.

Key Players: Eric Spiller (’10), Matt Radziwill (’10), Vincent Kwon (’12), David Friedman (’12) Coach’s Quote: ”We should be pretty good. We are mostly returning and we were the only team that beat Lenape last season,” said James.

Head Coach: Mr. Anthony Maniscalco Assistant Coaches: Mr. Dan Mitchell, Mr. Mike Surrency Key Players: Sprinters Alex Reber (‘12) and Terrence Owens (’10); Distance runner Steve Omari (’11); Jumper Andrew Athias (’11); Pole vaulter Remy Kahn (’11).

Coach’s Quote: “We should probably have one of the best seasons in school history.

This is the year we have the most wellrounded team. Everything is coming together,” said Maniscalco.

All photos by Karina Korneyeva (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor Sports preview art by Jasmine Hwang (‘12) / For Eastside

Girls’ Track

Boys’ Volleyball

Head Coach: Mr. Lee Troutman Assistant Coach: Mr. Dave Grubb, Mr. Mike Hischak Key Players: Sprinters - Carrie Vuong (’10) and Marielle Austin (’11); Field - Christine Goins (’12); Distance Runner - Taylor Festa (’11) Coach’s Quote: “We have a very young and inexperienced team. It’s going to be really tough competing against the other Olympic Conference teams,” said Troutman.

Head Coach: Mr. Karl Moehlmann Assistant Coach: Mr. Jeff Mooney Last Season’s Record: 13-11 Key Players: Rishi Sarkar (‘10), Mike Wolf (‘10), David Ravitz(‘10), Andrew Pursell (‘10), Eric Zaun (‘10) Coach’s Quote: “We hope we will win the 10th conference championship, and want to rival Cinnaminson as the best team,” said Moehlmann.

Baseball

Softball

Head Coach: Mr. Charlie Musumeci Assistant Coach: Mrs. Beth Scharff Last Season’s Record: 12-8 (3-5 in the conference), Lost in first 1st round of sectionals, 3-1, to Pennsauken Key Players: Shortstop Nicole Escobar (’11), Utility player Kate DeMalo (’11), Center fielder Kyra Holiday (’10), Second baseman Monica Bonitatis (’10) and Pitcher Arielle Kitey (’10) Coach’s Quote: “We have some key returning players that sould keep us very competitive,” said Musumeci.

Volleyball Player Andrew Pursell (‘10)

Information compiled by Nate Mulberg (‘10)/ Eastside Sports Editor, Mike Davis (‘10)/ Eastside Sports Editor and Max Cohen (‘12)/ Eastside Online Sports Editor

Head Coach: Mr. Erik Radbill Assistant Coaches: Mr. Dave Martin, Mr. Brett Gold Last Season’s Record: 14-7 (4-3 in conference) Key Players: Outfielder Sam Slutsky (’10), Infielder Nate Mulberg (’10), Infielder/Pitcher Brian Thompson (’10), First Baseman/Pitcher Dante Cassano (’10) Coach’s Quote: “Our goal is to win the division. We’ve finished second twice in the last four years. We also expect to be very competitive in South Jersey,” said Radbill.

SPORTS

East’s top athletes look to lead their teams to success this spring Page 30

EASTSIDE

Tennis player Nikhil Baseball player Brian Thompson (‘10) Yegya-Raman (‘10)

By Nate Mulberg (‘10)

Eastside Sports Editor

Nikhil Yegya-Raman (‘10), a fourth-year varsity tennis player and one of East’s captains, returns for his senior season after earning All-Conference, All-South Jersey and AllGroup IV honors last year.

This off-season, YegyaRaman did sprinting and condition drills on his own twice a week, played tennis four days a week, and lifted weights at the local JCC four days a week. YegyaRaman, whose two brothers also graced the tennis courts of East (Anand (‘04) and two-time New Jersey individual state champion Ravi (‘08)), has high aspirations for the team this year.

“As a team, I want to avenge last year’s loss to Lenape and win the South

Jersey Group IV championship and be ranked #1 in South Jersey. Individually, I hope to make it to at least t h e quarterfinals of t h e state tournament,” s a i d YegyaRaman.

Track runner Andrew Athias (‘11)

By Max Cohen (‘12)

Eastside Online Sports Editor

Track and field runner Andrew Athias (‘11) has lofty goals for this season.

Athias aims to hold the school long jump record by the end of the season as well as achieve great team success.

“We feel like we should be one of the top teams in the state,” said Athias.

Athias competes in the long jump, high jump, triple jump, hurdles and the 4x200 relay. Going into his third season at East, Athias already ranks fourth all-time for the school high jump record.

Although Athias considers

himself knowledgeable on the sport and considers himself a leader on the team, he said, “We are focused on team unity and not so much on leadership.”

By Max Cohen (‘12)

Eastside Online Sports Editor

For the past months, B r i a n Thompson (’10) has been hitting and fielding six days a week to meet his season goals of both helping the team advance further than the South Jersey semifinals they reached last year and to improve on his last year’s batting

two

average of . 3 8 6 .

Thompson hopes to ultimately do his best to help bring a South

Jersey championship to East in his senior year before he goes off to either Rider University or Gwynedd-Mercey College, where he plans on continuing his baseball career.

“Our team goal is to build on what we accomplished last year. We have a good chance to do that with a lot of returning players,” said Thompson.

According to East baseball head coach Erik Radbill, Thompson “brings a tremendous amount of intensity to our team.”

After playing right field last season, Thompson is set to start at third base this year for the Cougars.

Lacrosse player Caroline DiBartolomeo (‘11)

By Mike Davis (‘10)

Eastside Sports Editor

Caroline DiBartolomeo (‘11), a midfielder for the East girls’ lacrosse team, is hoping her success last year as a sophomore will continue this year. In the 2009 lacrosse season, DiBartolomeo scored 50 goals and earned SecondTeam All-Conference honors.

DiBartolomeo has stayed in great shape for the season, as she was a member of East’s varsity basketball team this winter. She also has been working on her lacrosse skills along with the rest of

the Cougar team throughout the winter.

A varsity player since her freshman y e a r , DiBartolomeo realizes the challenges the team has to overcome this year.

“We lost a lot of midfielders and players, but we are going to try to improve, do better and improve as a team,” said DiBartolomeo.

Softball player Monica Bonitatis (‘10)

By Nate Mulberg (‘10)

Eastside Sports Editor

Last year as a junior, Monica Bonitatis (‘10) garnered 1st Team AllConference, 2nd Team AllSouth Jersey and 2nd Team All- Group IV honors after leading East’s softball team in batting average, on-base percentage, hits, runs scored, triples and stolen bases. In order to prepare for her senior season, Bonitatis practiced softball four days a week

throughout the off-season.

Like her brother Justin Bonitatis (‘07), who holds the record for having the most career wrestling wins in East history, Bonitatis has a few records of her own. As a freshman, she broke East’s single season stolen base record when she stole 33 bases, and with 70 stolen bases, she currently holds the record for most stolen bases in a career.

Bonitatis has not decided where she will go to col-

lege next year, but she is leaning towards attending Division III Ursinus College. The University of Delaware, St. Joe’s University and Monmouth University are also recruiting her for her softball services.

“I am leaning towards going to Ursinus because it has a great medical program, and I want to be a physical therapist. I would also have a good chance to play as a freshman,” said Bonitatis.

All athlete photos by Karina Korneyeva (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor

April 2010

By Mike Davis (‘10) Eastside Sports Editor

Five Ways to make this years Major League Baseball (MLB) season the best yet: 1. Breaking news and rumors at ESPN.com and Twitter: A plethora of breaking news and rumors will keep you on top of your favorite teams and players. Instant trades and free-agent pickups will be available to you instantly. Also, by using Twitter, you can catch all the information you need quickly at twitter.com/MLBRumorCe ntral.

2.

Yahoo Fantasy Baseball: While websites such as ESPN.com and CBSSports.com may offer great fantasy baseball features, Yahoo.com now offers free live scoring and instant updates with StatTracker. Get live updates from all of your players while they are in play.

3. Shop at MLB.com: At MLB.com you can grab all the gear you need: jerseys, hats, shirts, accessories for your bedroom and much more. Watch out for various discounts and promotions throughout the entire season.

4. MLB.TV: On MLB.com, watch MLB.TV, with every game in HD quality and great portability. Now with fantasy player tracker, viewers will be informed of their player’s performances.

Also, MLB.TV Premium consists of multigame viewing and DVR controlling, in which fans can pause and rewind live games.

5. Follow your favorite team at CBSSports.com: Join a team page, personalized at CBSSports.com.

Each page has tons of features, some of which include analysis from experts, recent transactions, team schedules, depth charts and message boards, where you can chat with other fans.

Open Mike art by Sally Yang (‘11)/ Eastside Art Director Mike Davis picture by Karina Korneyeva (‘10)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Check out www.eastside-online.org to watch broadcasts of Cherry Hill East’s television news show, Eastcast.