Eastside: December 2013

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www.eastside-online.org

Vol. 48 No. 2

Cherry Hill High School East: 1750 Kresson Road, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003

December 2013

The other side of a drill Inside This Issue

See pgs. 10-11

Should countries claim land on moon? Opinions, Pg. 7

Child stars continue to shine Entertainment, Pg. 14

Photo by Andi Leff (‘14)/ Eastside Photo Editor

Owens takes over girls’ basketball Sports, Pg. 19


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On October 10, the second Board of Education Work Session for the Lydia school year Georgewas held at Koku (‘14) the Malberg Board of AdministraEducation tive BuildRepresentative ing. Board President, Mrs. Kathy Judge began the meeting. The session began with a presentation from District Director of Security, Mr. Michael Nuzzo, who reported on the state of Violence and School Security Measures for the year 20122013. Due to the district’s increased focus on handling HIB incidents effectively, a decrease in the total number of violent altercations, possession of weapons and drugs and vandalism reports was noted. To the joy of the Board and community members, the amount of HIB incidents reported and thus taken care of by the school has decreased. Nuzzo also explained the new tactics implemented by schools in practicing fire and lockdown drills, applauding one of the elementary schools in its spectacular carrying out of the new policies. Accordingly, the lockdown situation that occurred at Cherry Hill East in September was discussed. Nuzzo explained the reasoning behind why students were situated in the location outside of the school, and stated that investigation of the case is ongoing. He culminated his presentation by affirming the safety goals for this school year and acknowledging the success of the progress schools have been making thus far. Following the presentation, the Board’s respective committees reported. Notably, the Policy & Legislation Committee introduced an essential discussion regarding the state of the lottery at Rosa. The Board members fleshed out ideas and clarified points of misunderstanding. The committee agreed to table the discussion for the Action Meeting on the evening of October 29, deciding that the involvement of parents and the community would better facilitate the finalizing of the policy. The second public discussion yielded concerns from a mother of an athlete at Cherry Hill High School West, who addressed the Board regarding the state of the field house for athletic gear and the lack of sufficient funding for the maintenance of the outdoor fields and the weight room. The mother left photographical evidence with Superintendent Dr. Reusche, who agreed to take her concerns into serious consideration. The meeting concluded at 9 p.m. BOE logo by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

NEWS/FEATURES EASTSIDE

Mind and Body: more than just yoga

December 2013

Boys take Mind and Body too ■ By Nick Ciocco (‘14) Eastside Sports Editor

A boy taking the Mind and Body 2 class at Cherry Hill East is rare… That’s why I chose to take it. At the end of my sophomore year when I was in guidance with my counselor, Ms. Cathleen Enderle, Art by Rachel Pacitti she asked me if I wanted (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director to take Weight Room be■ By Andi Leff (‘14) cause the class would be available to Eastside Photo Editor me since I was going to be From my experience in Mind & Body, I a junior. I can tell you that it is so much more than just told her I a yoga class. People take the class because wanted to they think of it as an easy way to get out of take Mind regular gym or health class. “It’s not actually and Body, gym, it’s just yoga” is something you might and not hear a freshman or sophomore saying in the the Weight hallway, and I know because that is what I Room class, used to say. If you sign up thinking you can to which she stretch your way to an A, you are in for a big chuckled, but surprise. kindly put me in Ms. Kim Gatelein, a teacher of Mind & the class. Body, said “Even though we aren’t allowed to The first day of choose whether we teach Mind & Body, I defischool junior year, I nitely like teaching it because there are smallwalked into the East er classes and we can do a lot more equipment Gym to Ms. Kim Gateand fitness-based stuff with them.” lein’s class. I Last year, the classes did things such as the didn’t make a “couch to 5K” routines and circuits consisting good first imof free weights and major cardio. One of my fapression— vorite activities would have to be the Tabata. she thought Tabata is a high intensity interval workout: 20 I was taking second of an exercise, 10 seconds rest, repeated the class as 8 times. The teachers were encouraging and a joke; that helpful not only in class, but with things in our I would mess home lives. They would inform us about upcomaround the ing 5Ks or other races and give us healthy whole time eating tips. and disrupt the peace Mind & Body definitely inof the class. fluenced my lifestyle in It did not take long to a more than posconvince her that I wanted itive way! to be in the class. I went a little “try hard” as some Did you know? might call it. I actually ran The course called Mind and Body 1 when we were told to run refers to weight room and the course and I did the workouts. called Mind and Body 2 refers to yoga. Gatelein warmed up to me when we did our first day

of yoga. She quickly noticed that I was the most inflexible person she had ever seen. No one in the room could keep back their laughter, but I was fine with it… I mean, I still cannot even sit pretzel-legged. Yoga was not the only thing we did, but it was still my favorite. Yoga helped to make me a little more flexible and relax my mind for a class period. We did many other activities in the class, such as fullscale circuit workouts on the long-period days. Sometimes the girls would do Zumba. In the springtime, we were able to go outside, run and do activities with other gym classes. It was nice to have a variety of things to do and that it was not all yoga. Mind and Body was just something that sounded fun, so I wanted to try it out. It ended up being one of my favorite classes and I do not regret taking it. I encourage more guys to take the class because it definitely was a positive experience. Art by Grace Shen (‘16)/ Eastside Staff

Weight Room creates more time for working out ■ By David Linsky (‘14)

Eastside Buisness Manager

Coming from a male perspective, Weight Room is a very beneficial class. It is a productive class not only because it allows you to work out, but because it also helps you to learn other ways to lift weights. Mr. Keith Kovalevich helps improve our workout routines as well as explains the proper way to conduct a workout plan. By going over the proper way to lift each muscle, he teaches the students in the class the proper way to lift. Besides learning from Kovalevich, you also learn from your classmates. Within a class you are more than likely to be working out the same body part as someone else that day. This al-

lows you to ask for tips for other exercises to do that you may be unfamiliar with. Along with the learning aspect, Weight Room is extremely convenient. For someone like me who has constant after-school activities, I have little time to lift outside of school. Weight Room allows me to either complete my workout for the day or at least get started. Andi Leff (‘14)/ Eastside Photo Editor This frees up a lot of Students work out in Weight Room. time after school where lifting routines and provides time to I would normally be at complete their workout during the the gym. Weight Room is truly a helpschool day. ful class because it teaches students

Weight Room introduces new exercises is a terrific trainer and is able to Weight Room is definitely a work with me and encourage me to healthy outlet for me. Not only does try new exercises. Last year I did it motivate me to build my endurance, mostly body weight exercises, such ■ By Jordan Stein (‘14) but it also helped change my perspecas body squats, crunches, lunges and tive on how to “work out.” Weight Eastside Photo Editor more. This year I have taken what Room has transformed me and my I’ve learned last year and am using lifestyle. My junior year, I had initially it to strengthen my abilities. As of signed up for the Yoga class, but due to right now, I am starting to squat with schedule complications, I ended up in weights. So far I am able to add twenty the Weight Room class. I walked into pounds to the already forty pound bar the room with the intention of dropand squat with it. Kovalevich’s conping, but I decided to stay. Looking stant encouragement helps give me back, I am so happy I stayed and I am confidence to not only add more reps in the class again this year. to my routine but to also continue to From learning a proper squat to inbuild up the weight. creasing agility and running stamina, This class has done so much for Weight Room is a place to grow and me over the past year and I am so learn from yourself as well as others thankful for this class. Our school in the class. There is no judgment— is so fortunate to have not only an every person in the class cheers each informative class, but also a fun other on and coaches each other. and exciting way to exercise and In addition to my classmates in release energy. weight room, Mr. Keith Kovalevich Art by Li (‘16)/ Eastside Humor Editor ArtLanxi by Lanxi Li (‘16)/Eastside Humor Editor


NEWS/FEATURES

December 2013

EASTSIDE

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SGA Update logo by Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Editor

S G A is very excited about the progress that has been Eric Grayson m a d e in these (‘15) f i r s t SGA Vice couple of President months of school and looks forward to a great rest of the year. Internally, an area of emphasis this year has been to have more of a connection between each class’s SGA and the whole school’s SGA. This has been accomplished through more organized SGA meetings and a monthly meeting with class SGA officers to make sure everyone is on the same page. In addition, we have been having monthly meetings with Dr. Chapman so that he is aware of our initiatives and vice versa. SGA would like to echo that this year has been great so far and we look forward to an even better remainder. If you ever have a question that you would like answered by a school SGA officer (Ross Peterzell, Evan Bloom, David Linsky, Sam Amon and me) please contact us at any time.

“Flowers for Algernon” flourishes at East show to be missed.” Weaver also explained For Eastside that the show requires unbelievably strong actThe East Drama Deing, but he believes the partment’s fall play is theater program at East “Flowers for Algernon,” will be able to pull it off. set to be performed on “At this high school, December 6, 7, because of the the13 and 14 at 7:30 program, I “The show is a beautiful ater p.m. have no problem “Flowers for Aldoing the show,” story that will make the gernon” is based said Weaver. audience fall in love...” off of a sci-fi novel “Flowers for Alwritten by Daniel - Evan Brody (‘14) gernon” is found on Keyes in the early many middle school ‘60s. The play foland high school lows the life of a 32-yearthe challenge of playing reading lists. Weaver old mentally disabled such a dynamic and dehopes that teachers will man named Charlie. Mr. tailed character. encourage students to see Tom Weaver, director of Weaver explained that the show for extra credit the fall play, relates the the play demonstrates sobecause of the strong litmain character to Forciety’s tendency to judge erary value. rest Gump. human beings of low and According to Berlin, Charlie receives an high intelligence. He dethe play also contains a operation on his frontal scribed it as an emotionstrong sense of hope and lobe which had previal show. optimism. ously been successful on “[He] goes from a social “Even at the end, when a mouse named Algernon outcast because of one his intelligence has worn that had the same condireason to a social outcast off, and he is mentally tion as him. At first, the because of another reahandicapped once again, operation transforms son,” said Weaver. he still expresses a hope Charlie into a super ge“The show is a beautifor the best, even though nius. Later, the mouse ful story that will make the audience knows it slowly recedes back into the audience fall in love isn’t possible,” said Berstupidity, causing Charwith Charlie and keep lin. lie to realize he will soon the audience entranced This is Weaver’s 37th follow the same path. as they laugh and grow fall play at East and it “I am incredibly exwith Charlie, and later, was announced that the cited to be playing such struggle with Charlie spring musical is Aida. a challenging role and [and] cry with Charlie,” Border by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ being able to really sink said Brody. “This is not a Eastside Art Director

■ By Kaitlyn Boyle (‘17)

We asked....

my teeth into such a complex character,” said Evan Brody (‘14), playing the role of Charlie in the white cast. Ryan Berlin (‘14), playing Charlie in the red cast, adds that he enjoys

If you had a pet turkey, what would you name him/her?

If I were to be a Thanksgiving food, I would be...

Cassidy Rosen-Swell (‘16) Washington

Stuffing

Bernard

Sweet Potatoes

Zach Wilks(‘16)

Rachel Odland (‘14)

Pumpkin Pie Phillip

School spirit was widely practiced during Spirit W e e k 2 0 1 3 . David Linsky (‘14) T h i s year, the SGA Vice Class of President 2014 was d o m i nant in its efforts to win Spirit Week. The seniors took first place in most of Logo and by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ the categories as well as Eastside Art Director Spirit Week as a whole Photos by Jenna Wilson (‘15)/ Eastside News/ with a total of 4,885 points. Fetaures Editor The junior class tied for first place in the canned food drive, helping it finish with 3,265 Spirit Week If you could watch points and a second place the Thanksgiving overall finish. The class of What were you football game with 2016 got a first place finish most thankful for this anyone in the world, for its banner. The sophoThanksgiving? who would you have more class gave the juniors watched it with? a run for their money but ended up trailing the class of 2015 with a third place finish and 3,102.5 Spirit My turkey My imaginary turkey Week points. The freshman class tried for a last second surge, taking first place in the red dress up day, but it was not enough to catch the sophomores. The class of 2017 took fourth place with Pilgrims 2,514.5 Spirit Week points. Shelter As a total school effort, East was able to raise over 3,000 canned food items to help feed hungry people in our area. Other Spirit Week Brett Vincoff My family activities ran smoothly and students definitely showed their school spirit.

Mr. Rosenberg

Spirit Week Results: Mr. Howard

Cranberry Sauce

My mom

My family and a profession that I love

Seniors: 4,885 Juniors: 3,265 Sophmores: 3,102.5 Freshman: 2,514.5


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COMMUNITY EASTSIDE

December 2013

Local organizations host Thanksgiving food drives ■ By Maddie Phillips (‘17) and Elise Goldstein (‘17)

accepted in the food drive.” He added, “This year, we want[ed] to succeed in donating more than we did last year and we all need to understand that this is a service to the community.” The amount of cans collected for the food drive this year was 3,060. In addition to the Cherry Hill East Canned Food Drive, the Jewish Family and Children’s Services’ (JFCS) had its annual food drive to “Stamp Out Hunger” on October 27, along

said. Beginning last year, a food drive competition, For Eastside Students Change Hunger, was created among schools This year, in addition to in the state of New Jersey eating enormous portions to collect food to donate to of turkey, cranberry sauce, 173,000 hungry people in mashed potatoes and other Camden, Gloucester, Salem delectable foods that are and Burlington Counties. devoured on Thanksgiving, This food drive took place one often had the opportufrom September 16 to Nonity to donate cans of food vember 23. to various charities in the Sabine Menhert, the local community. community engagement Cherry Hill East holds advisor, said, “The main its own Thanksgiving goal of this food drive is to Canned Food Drive create awareness of annually. hunger in our region “Our agency plays a critical role in “Each year, a goal and to raise funds helping meet the needs of people and of about 500 cans and food to meet households that otherwise would per class is donated the needs.” lack sufficient food.” to the food drive,” The DistribuMr. CJ Davis, East tion Center of the Activities Director, said. with a 5K road race. South Jersey Food Bank Davis is in charge of orCoordinator Andi Loew takes a different apganizing the Thanksgiving said, “The planning comproach for its food drive. Food Drive that occurs durmittee for the race wanted It hosts an annual Turing Spirit Week as a comto add a social action comkey Drop, that took place petition between the grade ponent and decided to hold this year on levels to see which class a food drive to stamp out November collects the most canned hunger.” 23, the Satgoods. All non-perishable Kourday before “The cans that are colsher food items were acceptThanksgivlected are donated specified. Last year, over twentying. People cally to the South Jersey five-thousand pounds of not only Food Bank in order to feed food were donated to the dropped hungry families on Thanksagency. All of the food coloff canned giving,” said Davis. “There lected at the drive goes to goods, is no volunteer process for the Betsy and Peter Fisher b u t the food drive, but it is enFood Pantries at the JFCS. t u r couraged for everyone to “Our agency plays a critikeys as donate to give back to the cal role in helping meet the well. South Jersey community needs of people and house“Anyone can drive during Spirit Week. Any holds that otherwise would through and drop off food non-perishable food item is lack sufficient food,” Loew donations at Food Bank of

Student plays with disabled children

Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

■ By Emma Poulshock (‘16) For Eastside

I am involved in a community service program called Top Soccer. Top Soccer is a program in Marlton where boys and girls with mental or physical disabilities have the opportunity to have fun. Every Saturday, I go and play soccer for one hour with a child who has special needs. Usually at the first program you are assigned a child and work with him or her every week; you become his or her “buddy.” Some buddies are doubled up and work with one kid; however, each week you may be assigned a new kid depending on who shows up. This is a great program that allows the child and the buddy to both have fun. I am so glad that I am involved with this program and that I am able to have the opportunity to help these kids. It makes me so happy that the children enjoy the time they have playing with us. These kids do not have the opportunity to play multiple sports and be part of a team like most of us do. It is an unbelievable feeling knowing that you are giving kids with special needs that opportunity. Although the kids may not play a normal soccer game, they still get to enjoy and experience soccer. There have been many new buddies that have recently signed up. It is necessary for these children to learn new things and interact with others just like the rest of us. For more information, visit http://www.topsoccer.us/

South Jersey. We [had] volunteers to greet the cars and make the process quick and easy,” Menhert said. F o r t h i s p a r ticular drive, n o n p e r i s h -

able items are not needed. “People drop off turkeys and all the fixings for a holiday meal,” Sabine said. The turkeys collected each year can be of any size or shape. The organization also accepts turkeys that are pre-stuffed or seasoned. Last year, hundreds of turkeys and other Thanksgiving essentials were delivered and this year the Turkey Drop was even more successful. These four food drives are just a sampling of those in the area that help feed those in the community, as well as provide those who donate a sense of pride, on an annual basis. As each Thanksgiving comes and goes, peop l e have opportunities to make t h e holiday a t least a little bit better for those who are less forRachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director tunate.


December 2013

COMMUNITY EASTSIDE

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Fall flavors satisfy hungry stomachs everywhere Krispy Kreme’s flavors tingle pumpkin taste buds ■ By Julia Rothkoff (‘16) Eastside Community Editor

A l though it may be hard to spot a Krispy Kreme in New Jersey, as there is only one in the state, Collingswood is lucky enough to have one. Krispy Kreme, like many fast food chains, has new limited edition flavors each fall. Available through November 27, the Pumpkin Spice Donut was a pumpkin-flavored donut coated in Krispy Kreme’s famous donut glaze. Krispy Kreme also offered an all-new Pumpkin Cheesecake Donut available through November 27 as well. This donut contained a cheesecake and pumpkin-flavored filling in the center of the donut. The donut was topped with cream cheese icing. Besides pastries, Krispy Kreme also sold Pumpkin Spice Lattes. These donuts and the latte were available at participating locations, the Collingswood location included, and will return in the fall of 2014.

Starbucks welcomes fall with its variety of drinks and treats ■ By Kaylin Magosin (‘14) Eastside Editor-in-Chief

In the beginning of Septemb e r , Starbucks brought back its customary fall flavors. For drinks, the Pumpkin Spice Latte, celebrating its tenth anniversary, returned as well as the Salted Caramel Mocha and Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate. New for 2013, Starbucks unveiled the Chocolate Chai Tea Latte. On the pastry side, choices—all of which have to do with pumpkin— range from the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin to the Pumpkin Scone to the Pumpkin Sugar Cookie. Also, Pumpkin Bread completes the fall flavor line-up. These fall flavors are available at every company-owned store, and will be available through the holiday season and into January, so the fall flavors continue into the winter.

Dunkin’ Donuts showcases fall items ■ By Courtney Finnegan (‘17)

Dairy Queen creates Pumpkin Pie Blizzard ■ By Allie Grossman (‘16) Eastside Community Editor

N o t only does the beginning of fall mark when leaves on trees start to change colors and when the chill in the air becomes evident, but fall also marks the return of Dairy Queen’s limited edition Pumpkin Pie Blizzard. The Pumpkin Pie Blizzard was featured as the Flavor of the Month for November at all Dairy Queen locations. Taste buds of people of all ages craved the pumpkin sensation as Thanksgiving rolled around the corner. This Pumpkin Pie Blizzard served as a modern twist on tradition pumpkin pie. The Blizzard was made up of pumpkin pieces blended in creamy vanilla soft serve crowned with whipped topping and nutmeg. This limited edition flavor was only avail- able until the end of November.

For Eastside

Big sweate r s , football games, haunted hayrides, apple picking and pumpkin spice lattes? Just a few of the things that people love about fall fortunately came back in season. Fall is the time when flip-flops turn into Uggs and T-shirts turn into sweatshirts. It is a time for corn mazes and hayrides. Yet, it is also a time when pumpkins are taken advantage of the most. Pumpkins are picked, carved and robbed from their seeds, and like many other chains, Dunkin’ Donuts incorporates the sweet pumpkin flavor into many new treats. For the fall season, Dunkin’ Donuts is offering the taste of pumpkin in various ways. At every location, Dunkin is advertising various fallthemed drinks, such as pumpkin spiced lattes, coffee and coffee coolattas. As for baked goods, Dunkin’ Donuts is selling pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pie donuts and pumpkin munchkins, and even pumpkin coffee K-Cup packs. Dunkin Donuts provides plenty of fall cravings, from drinks to bakery items.

Art by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director


OPINIONS

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EASTSIDE

December 2013

For people and the planet, eco-friendly cars are the better choice ■ By Shari Boiskin (‘17)

For Eastside

Batteries are rechargeable. Our earth is not. Eco-friendly cars and cars that run on gasoline have been the center of ongoing debate. Eco-friendly cars are typically more expensive, but they are better for the environment. Though gasoline-running cars are less expensive to purchase, they end up costing more with the ever-rising price of gasoline. The first-ever mention of a hybrid-style car was in the late 1600s, when Ferdinand Verbiest, a Flemish missionary in China, attempted to build a steampowered car for the emperor K’ang Hsi during the Qing dynasty. The car was not very successful, and the next hybrid-styled car—also built in the late 1600s—could only reach a speed of six miles per hour. There have been many attempts since then to produce and perfect the hybrid car concept. In 1898, Dr. Ferdinand Porsche of the Porsche car company became the first to successfully produce and sell a working

hybrid car. On one battery charge alone, the car could travel for forty miles. After Porsche’s success, other automobile companies hopped onto this idea. But they have not proved to be as successful and effective as Porsche has. According to an August 2013 article in The New York Times, “Only about 36,000 battery-powered vehicles were sold this year through July.” Hybrids and electric cars are the eco-friendly cousins of well-known gasoline cars, and car companies seem to be

dishing out more and more eco-friendly car models. But why are they not the popular choice? The one thing that always comes up in the conversation about eco-friendly cars versus gasoline-using cars is the price. Hybrids and electric cars are pricey without a doubt. However, eco-friendly cars’ claim to fame is the fact that they save money in the long run. Eco-friendly cars usually cost up to five thousand dollars more than their g a s - using counterparts. However, depending on how a n d where one

Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

English curriculum needs to add more diverse titles and themes

events discussion that relates to modern literature. Such books might include The Kite Eastside Staff Runner by Khaled Housseni, Beloved by Today, we are surrounded by people of Toni Morrison and The Brief Life of Oscar different ethnicities, races and religions, Wao by Junot Diaz. more so than in previous decades. In order Mrs. Abbey Greenblatt, librarian at East, to reflect and fully understand the growth said, “There should be a balance between of the changing world in which we live, the modern literature and classic novels.” high school English classes at Cherry Hill She said that classic novels are imporEast and all over the country should require tant to read because “the messages they tell more contemporary novels and diverse stand to the test of time.” books to be studied in the curriculum. It is important to learn what authors cenThe are several novels that scholars turies before us thought, yet even more sigread in English classes at Cherry Hill nificant is to connect the English classrooms East in ninth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth to current events and pressing topics. grades “The that do modern in fact b o o k s exemplify are writour pluten in a ralistic language society. that is To name more faa few: The miliar Joy Luck to stuC l u b dents,” by Amy s a i d Tan, The GreenbNamelatt. “It sake by h e l p s Jhumpa them conLahiri, nect betLife of ter.” P i b y As a Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director Yann Mar- Modern novels demand attention in a curriculum dominated librarian, tel and by ancient works. Greenblatt The House suggested on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. that students should read more on their These selections illustrate specific culown leisure time. tures and details of each character’s back“Everyone has different interests. Librarground. It is important to introduce novels ians spend a great budget on fiction and such as these to students because the issues modern fiction because they want students of culture, race, religion, socioeconomic stato connect to literature on a modern level,” tus, gender issues and identity are themes Greenblatt said that will forever be prevalent in humanity. It is important to learn what authors’ On the contrary, the reading list for modcenturies before us thought, yet it is even ern novels and diverse texts is simply not more critical to connect the English classenough. Novels such as The Scarlet Letter rooms to current events and pressing topics. by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Odyssey by By reading more diverse books, students Homer and The Adventures of Huckleberry are able to lead richer, fuller and more pluFinn by Mark Twain should still be taught, ralistic lives. Modern novels often address but should be curtailed in the discussion in subjects that classics ignore. Ultimately, we order to allow space for more twenty-first need to raise adolescents’ awareness in the century literature. As a suggestion, at least classroom setting and let the novels inspire once a month due to the rigorous curriculum students to form opinions on these subject in English class, there could be a current matters. ■ By Chloe Goldstein (‘14)

drives and for how long one keeps the car, those extra five thousand dollars could be worth it because of the money one saves on gasoline. Gas prices are high and likely only going to get higher. The initial cost of gas-using cars is cheaper, but after gas prices and maintenance fees, they come out about even with the high expense of ecofriendly cars. While there is not really much of a financial benefit to having and driving an eco-friendly car, there is a hugely positive environmental impact. According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, highway vehicles release approximately 1.5 billion metric tons o f

greenhouse gases into the atmosphere each year. Reducing that number by driving an eco-friendly car takes a step in the direction of a healthier Earth. Cars release many different emissions that continuously weaken the ozone layer. Keeping Earth healthy, not only for ourselves, but also for future generations, is becoming more important than ever. Eco-friendly cars use less gasoline to run, which means that they emit fewer greenhouse gases such as hydro-carbons, carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxides. Environmentally speaking, eco-friendly cars will always come in first. Humans are creatures of habit. Eco-friendly cars are not the norm. There is something comforting in driving a model that has been around for a while, not a new style, like the eco-friendly cars. Car companies are constantly marketing these cars in hope that someday, they will be the norm. They are making eco-friendly cars sleek and luxurious-looking with modern amenities. The environmental cost of gasoline-consuming cars make the eco-friendly choice well worth it.

Cherry Hill needs library on the east side of town ■ By Gilana Levavi (‘14) Eastside Opinions Editor

On weekdays until 4 p.m., East students have a valuable resource available to them. But then, the East library closes. The opportunity to study in a public space designed to be conducive to the acquisition of knowledge should not be denied to anyone. Past 4 p.m. and on weekends, the Cherry Hill Public Library offers a terrific environment for East scholars, with areas for quiet independent study and group study, free computer access and a plethora of online and print resources. But because of its distance from the east side of Cherry Hill, East students, especially those who do not drive, often do not have easy access to the Cherry Hill Library. Therefore, there should be a facility on the east side of town that offers these same terrific services. Many East students find studying in a library setting to be beneficial. “[A library] is a more productive place, with more resources to work on anything,” said Noah Shepard (‘17). Studying in public spaces often makes staying focused easier. “[In a library setting,] I’m motivated to study more, but if I’m at home, there’s more distraction,” said Becca Morgan (‘15). Sami Dunoff (‘14) agreed, saying that when she is in an environment where everyone around her is studying, she is likely to be more productive.

Lack of transportation should not hinder students’ access to such a facility. Both Dunoff and Morgan said that they rarely use the Cherry Hill Public Library, but would be more likely to if it were closer to where they live. In college, studying in the library is the norm, but in high school, the norm is to spend six to seven mandatory hours in school, then retreat to one’s own home to complete homework. Yet voluntarily studying in a common space intrinsically leads to more interaction among peers, which will in turn foster a more communal and collaborative culture. A branch of the Cherry Hill Library on the east side of Cherry Hill would be of great benefit. As information moves online, it would not be necessary to fully stock the new facility with print materials, and it could instead work on an interlibrary loan system. In the meantime, there should at least be a free or affordable shuttle from East to the Cherry Hill Library after school. For not even the only semblance of public transportation in Cherry Hill—the NJ transit buses—offers a direct route to the library. And the lack of sidewalks or bike lanes along many main roads makes a safe walking or biking route impossible. Access to a public space conducive to the acquisition of knowledge would benefit students as well as other local residents, and would foster the growth of true community.


OPINIONS

December 2013

EASTSIDE

Please, do not sell the moon ■ By Talia Balakirsky (‘14)

Eastside Staff

Each year, the world becomes more and more advanced in ways people never fathomed possible. From these progressions, countries have become exceedingly more competitive when creating, producing and outshining other countries. This trend became more popular in the late 1960s when the Soviet Union and the United States were trying to become the first country to land on the moon, in what was called the “Space Race.” Now, every country is trying to constantly “one-up” the other, in the hopes of being seen as powerful and prosperous. This idea is

amass for their own country. People have swallowed up the majority of the earth and have used it for their own needs. The moon, on the other hand, is not something t h a t should b e

tional conflicts. The moon should be free to each country to explore in order to further the overall understanding of the world outside of Earth. Allowing the moon to be claimed will come at a worldwide cost, one people simply cannot afford. The moon serves to keep the earth in balance, not to be used as another way for countries to prove their power. If countries claim land on the moon, what is stopping them from expanding their territory further out into the universe or assuming that they are the governing power?

Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Not even the moon is safe from greed. becoming controversial as discussion about the moon resurfaces. Instead of planning missions to the moon, there is now a buzz about claiming land there. The idea of claiming land on the moon is neither needed nor feasible at this point in time. On Earth, we are constantly at war over land and territory, causing thousands to die at the hands of those who are interested in how much soil they can

“claimed.” Not only will allowing countries to claim land on the moon be basically useless as the land they will claim is millions of miles away from the Earth, but it is truly unneeded, as it will not benefit any country to a significant extent. The debate over claiming lands on the moon will undoubtedly start further skirmishes between countries, and countries cannot afford additional interna-

Existing library is close enough to the east side ■ By Jenna Myers (‘17) For Eastside

The Cherry Hill Public Library is a technologically upto-date library in our area. Although this library is between Cherry Hill High Schools East and West, it lies closer to West. This can make it difficult for some East students to access the library. However, is it necessary to build another that is closer to East? If Cherry Hill added another library branch, then there would be an increase in taxes for Cherry Hill residents to help fund this new library. Since Governor Christie has already taken nearly a million dollars from the Cherry Hill education budget, it would not be feasible to further increase tax rates in order to fund this hypothetically proposed project. We could avoid this larger tax pay by simply using the already existent Cherry Hill Public Library. Since it already provides re-

sources like computers and books, using more tax money for these same resources would be a waste. Also, libraries are typically large buildings. There would not be any available space for a new library branch to be built because of the houses and other buildings located in Cherry Hill. With a new library, Cherry Hill will become an even more cramped environment in which to live. It is best that the town does not add another library in Cherry Hill because citizens will be paying higher taxes for a duplicate of a library that already exists. It is wiser to just find transportation to the Cherry Hill Public Library. Alternatively, Barnes and Noble, as well as Starbucks, which have locations close to the east side of town, can provide the quiet atmosphere that is needed for studying. Though libraries are of great value, there is no need to build another library in Cherry Hill.

People must understand that the constant race to be more prosperous and powerful can never truly be won. They must work together to focus less on ownership and more on the idea that the Earth is all a population upwards of seven billion people has. Residents of Earth should thus strive to preserve and appreciate what we have, no matter size or condition.

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Online Tutorials ■ By Atira Nair (‘16) Eastside Staff

Nowadays, students at East and other schools around the country have a lot to juggle with school, family, friends and other activities. If students have to deal with so many things at once, they may begin to lose focus on what they are learning in class. This would lead to confusion, as class-taught topics are almost always strictly cumulative to the class’s subject matter. In order to make sure students are caught up in any given subjects, online teaching videos are available via YouTube and other websites. These videos cover a wide variety of different topics in many subject areas. One website, khanacademy.org, offers tutorials on topics ranging from solving algebraic equations, to astronomical wonders, to the mysteries of the American government. Khan Academy was founded in 2006 by Salman “Sal” Khan, an MIT and Harvard Business School graduate. Khan teaches his videos with an app on his tablet called SmoothDraw 3 and records with screen capture software, which helps the students grasp the concept much more easily. Online teaching videos are a good way to get extra practice or to learn another way to do something that was taught in class. It is up to the students to decide whether or how much watching these videos is helping them, because people learn in different ways,

but online teaching videos will not hinder one’s learning. One explanation that would not help a student understand something might make sense after hearing it another way. Jess Levine (’16) said, “I think it’s good [that these videos use alternate methods] because I know that during class sometimes, I don’t understand my teacher’s method for things, but I can understand other teachers’ methods. Plus, they use lots of examples in those videos, and some people are more visual learners.” Some methods may work for some students but not for others. Online teaching videos are available as another reference and the alternate methods they teach may help some students. Teachers should make use of these videos, but not excessively, as they are just alternate methods. They should not replace traditional classroom teaching methods. Students should not be tested on these methods, as it is up to the students to decide which method they want to use. In general, online teaching videos are helpful. They may not do much on their own, and should definitely not replace classroom instruction, but if a student wants to get a little extra practice or wants to hear the lesson a different way, it cannnot hurt to sit down and watch a tutorial from a website such as khanacademy.org.

Computer art by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Preserve Woodcrest Country Club

■ By Brooke Greenberg (‘17)

For Eastside

Woodcrest Country Club, established in 1929, may soon see its final days. This iconic club is a major part of Cherry Hill history. Many golfers on a daily basis come to play on this well-known course. But with land developers on the way, this fantasy has hit hard reality. Within years, this gorgeous piece of land will be flooded with housing, shopping and various recreational amenities. Without the golf course, many people will be affected, as it is also a meeting place for families and businesses. After filing bankruptcy, First Montgomery Bank agreed to purchase the club for 10.1 million dollars. At that time, First Montgomery Bank said, “We will not allow any development on the Woodcrest Country Club property.” After that statement, First Montgomery Bank has since lied about not producing any developmental property, as different housing situations are being proposed. One major benefit of open land such as Woodcrest Country Club is the protection of wildlife. Many wildlife species, such as Canada geese, fox and

deer reside on the golf club grounds. Replacing the open land with housing puts these animals in danger in their own habitat. Open land is a great thing to have in a suburb such as Cherry Hill. In an interview with the Cherry Hill Sun, Mayor Chuck Cahn said, “I, and the members of township council, stand firm in our commitment to fight and do everything in our power to keep the country club property from being developed.” Many areas in Cherry Hill, such as the Garden State Racetrack, have already been populated with shopping and dining options. When the racetrack was sold in 2003, it created problems such as overpopulation of deer and increased traffic. Woodcrest Country Club is one of the last remaining open land spaces in Cherry Hill. Other large open land spaces have been completely taken over by development. The Woodcrest Country Club needs to remain a golf club to protect wildlife and preserve its function as a place of entertainment. Many people go golfing at Woodcrest Country Club to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life. It needs to to stay, as the benefits of open land in Cherry Hill are simlpy incalcuable. The Woodcrest Country Club is a constant reminder of the beauty of nature that should be forever treasured.

Deer and geese art by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director, tree art by Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director


Page 8

EASTSIDE

December 2013


December 2013

EDITORIAL EASTSIDE

Editorials represent the views and opinions of the Eastside Editorial Board.

East community attitude must match drill We did not laugh after hearing about the Boston bombings. We certainly did not view the Sandy Hook school shootings as humorous. However, when East students are dismissed from school due to threats targeted toward specific students or the school in general, students often welcome the thought of escaping educational instruction. E a st students should not take secured environment situations lightly; we should make a conscious effort to follow protocol and avoid v i e w ing these threatening situations as easy ways to leave school early. It is extremely concerning that with such calamities as school shooti n g s , b o m b threats, hit lists and many other hostilities happening globally, we do not consider the reality that these situations potentially possess. When an administrator announces that the school is in a state of investigation, students should immediately follow the directions with solemnity. This alteration in attitude toward secured environment etiquette can only occur if certain conditions are met:

students and teachers must be better informed of the secured environment procedures and details regarding specific sheltered environment situations. The East secured environment procedures come in three different levels (lockout, shelter in place and lockdown), each having different processes and purposes. While some levels require basic safety precautions such as

also be cognizant of safety procedures during secured environment drills to oversee student safety. All teachers should know how to handle threatening situations and ensure that students remain calm and secure during lockdowns or drills. To say the least, lockdowns and evacuations occur much too often at East. Due to the frequency of these procedures, students almost expect them to occur. Threats s h o u l d never have been, and should not continue to be, a normalcy in Cherry Hill. Students almost expect the secured environment warning announcement once in a while. Over the past few years, East students have adopted unconcerned mindsets regarding lockdowns because of their recurHelena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director rence. In eslocking the doors and windows, others sence, East students need a reality require teachers to additionally turn check. Secured environment proceoff the lights and seat students in a dures occur due to serious threats. sector of the classroom that is not visTeachers also must develop serious ible from the door. Though there are mindsets by learning proper conduct only three levels, many teachers seem for all variations of lockdown operaill-informed about the protocol for tions. each drill. Teachers should not have Lockdowns are designed for East to consult their colleagues in order safety; we should take advantage of to practice safety procedures in the these maneuvers in order to maintain classroom. Substitute teachers should our school security.

Page 9

Cherry Hill High School East 1750 Kresson Road Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 Phone: (856) 424-2222, ext. 2087 Fax: (856) 424-3509

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Contact the Board: To contact a member of the Eastside Editorial Board via email, type the person’s first name followed by a period, then his or her last name followed by “@eastside-online. org,” ie: eric.thompson@ eastside-online.org. (Note: There is a dash between “eastside” and “online”)


Page 10

EASTSIDE

Catching a criminal

November 2013

SPECIAL

From a tweet S to a threat

Punishment A

nyone who write a threatening message that causes a school-wide evacuation will be charged with one count of causing false public alarm. Under New Jersey law, a person found guilty is liable for fines of no less than $2,000 or the actual costs resulting from law enforcement and emergency service response. Additionally, the threat can fall under The New Jersey Terroristic Threats Law, which states a person is guilty of a crime of the third degree if he threatens to commit any crime of violence with the purpose to terrorize another or to cause evacuation of a building, place of assembly, or facility of public transportation, or otherwise to cause serious public inconvenience, or in reckless disregard of the risk of causing such terror or inconvenience. A violation of this subsection is a crime of the second degree if it occurs during a declared period of national, state or county emergency. The actor shall be strictly liable upon proof that the crime occurred, in fact, during a declared period of national, state or county emergency.

What causes one to initiate school violence? While there is no exact profile, a survey taken by the Center for Disease Control attempted to discover why students are violent to their peers.

12%

of students reported being in a physical fight on school property within the 12 months before the survey was taken.

5.9%

of students did not go to school one or more days within the 30 days before the survey was taken because they felt unsafe at school.

EASTSIDE

Guns or none?

ocial media is taking over today’s generation more than in just the way that youngsters cannot be taken away from it. Social media is becoming a culprit for school lockdowns. Oftentimes, students will post a threatening status, common misconception is that perhaps for attention or perhaps with serious intentions to cause the student who writes a threatenharm. Either way, these tweets, statuses or posts are alarming message does not get caught. Mr. ing many students and parents, causing them to take action. Mike Nuzzo, head of security for the disA student could post something to other students on social trict, disagrees with this misconception. networking sites Whether the alarmed student decides to take “Typically if something comes to our attenaction is up to him or her, but as soon as parents get a hold of tion, we do a threat assessment and that threat information like that, they intuitively call the school to make it assessment will dictate as to what level of reaware in case the student follows through with harming anyone. sources we’re going to need. We have sources— Even if this post that the student made was merely out of anger or there are some students that will come forward, emotion, the school is now required to take the necessary precauwhich we encourage and when a student does tions in order to ensure other students’ safety, whether it be a come forward, we make sure we don’t disclose the lockdown or an evacuation. The school is also required to further sources that are providing us with that information. We have surveillance cameras around the investigate the case—sometimes alongside the police—in order school, inside and outside, just to monitor activi- to make sure that the students are, in fact, in a safe environties of the students. [We have] the eyes and ears ment so that parents do not feel alarmed. A simple social netof the staff and teachers too; we hear things go- working post made out of emotion can cause more ing on, kids talking in classrooms, in the hallways disorder than one would think; therefore, students should be cautious of what they post. and at the lunch periods. It’s a combination of all those factors [that] plays an important part on how we identify somebody that was responsible for something.”

A

December 2013

In the weeks following the devastating massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School, a num-

Page 11

Types of drills S

ber of state legislators proposed to put a stop to these destructions by allowing teachers and school officers to ince November 1, 2010, East, along with carry guns. Though many states are still contemplating all New Jersey schools, is required to conduct whether to make the proposal a law, 18 states have already one school security drill and one fire drill each made it legal for teachers and school officers to carry arms. New Jersey, one of those eighteen states, allows officers to month that school is open. The statute that carry firearms with the consent of the school’s governing offi- was passed in 2010 (NJSA 18A: 41-1) defines a cer. The firearm must be licensed and approved by the Super- school security drill as “an exercise, other than a intendent of State Police and approved by the school district fire drill, to practice procedures that respond to principal officer before it is allowed to be carried on school an emergency,” including a non-fire evacuation, grounds. Nonetheless, the Cherry Hill School District does not lockdown, bomb threat or active shooter situation. allow its officers to carry armed weapons on school grounds. The duration of a school security drill is similar to The district believes that schools have strong enough out- that of a fire drill. East has a Crisis Management side security forces that it is unsafe and unnecessary for Plan, which defines the procedures to be taken officers to carry weapons. Additionally, the district has in various emergency situations. This is a statemandated plan and was created with law encounty of- ficers patrol schools forcement. Each type of drill is practiced so once a day for additional that students are aware of what to do s a f e t y . in case of an emergency.

School safety concerns cause alarm

■ By Jenna Wilson and Meghna Kothari (‘15)

Eastside News/Features Editors

5.4%

of students carried a weapon on school property one or more days within the 30 days before the survey was taken.

7.4%

Threats at East

According to a memo distributed to school administrators by the state Homeland Security and Preparedness

Office, during the 2012-2013 academic year, there were 61 threats prompting evacuations, a 27 percent increase over the previous year. On April 29, 2013, East went into a lockdown. This lockdown was a result of a threating mesage, one of 12 threats that were recieved in the Cherry Hill School District during the 2012-2013 school year. In the 2013-2014 school year, two lockdowns have occured. The first occured on September 23, 2013. This lockdown was also the result of a threatening message, which was found on a bathroom wall. School was evacuated and then dismissed 15 minutes early. The seconod evacuation occured after school on November 13, 2013. Threatening messages were recieved by school officals, which prompted an immediate evacuation of the building. An East graduate was arrested and charged with calling in the threats. He later confessed to calling in the threats, and was formally charged and released. He is charged with with two counts of terroristic threats and two counts of creating a false public alarm.

of students reported being threatened or injured with a weapon one or more times on school prperty.

20.1%

of students reported being bullied in schoool at least once within the 12 months before the survey was taken.

16.2%

of students reported being bullied electronically, either through online chatrooms, social media sites or text messages at least once within the 12 months before the survey was taken.

Bombs and background by Helena Sirken (‘15)/Eastside Art Director Desks and people by Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director Explosion by Haley Schultz (‘14)/ Eastside News/Features Editor

1%

of adolescent homicides occur at school. That is 1 homocide at school for every 2.7 million students.



UNDERGROUND

Page 12

EASTSIDE

Build your own smartphone with Phonebloks ■ By Bogdan Vitoc (‘16)

Eastside Underground Editor

On October 29, almost one million people sent out Facebook posts, tweets and Tumblr posts that informed 380 million of their friends about Dutch designer Dave Hakkens’s unique smartphone concept: Phonebloks. As an altruistic attempt to refashion the smartphone industry, Hakkens’s Phonebloks is the first popular design concept of a fully-customizable smartphone. As if building a Lego structure, Phonebloks are constructed from bricklike components called “bloks” that each serve as a different part of the phone (e.g. a battery blok, a camera blok, etc.). So if a photgrapher is interested in having a powerful camera but has no use for bluetooth, he could swap out his bluetooth blok for a larger camera. One of the Phonebloks project’s most promising features is the potential to substantially reduce landfill growth by decreasing the accumulation of electronic waste. Hakkens argues that when an electronic device breaks down, it is not because of the synchronized failure of all its parts, but instead because just one component is defective. This creates massive piles of electronic garbage that are mostly composed of still-useful parts. The ability to be spontaneously modified allows Phonebloks to completely

eliminate this issue. When a part breaks, users will be able to simply replace it–for a cost–with a new one, and they will be able to keep the rest of the phone just as it was. Electronic manufacturers like

will be able to upgrade only the specific features that they want and to sell their used bloks to someone else, saving lots of money. To raise interest in Phonebloks and get the idea “noticed” by potential makers, Hakkens started a proj-

Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Dissembled view of the original Phoneblok design. Philips, Samsung and others will sell bloks in the already envisioned “blokstore.” As soon as a new technology comes out, may it be a faster processor or a more enduring battery, it will be released to the blokstore as a new blok. So, instead of upgrading an entire phone and trashing the old one to catch up to the latest gimmick, consumers

ect on the social outreach platform Thunderclap. This service simultaneosly posts a message about Phonebloks on a selected day to each user’s Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, getting the message across to a larger audience. Google-owned phone company Motorola has recently committed to developing the phone. Claiming

to have been working on a customizable smartphone for over a year (before Phonebloks appeared), Motorola announced a partnership with Phonebloks– perhaps inspired by the Thunderclap–while Hakkens went on a trip to San Francisco in search of companies interested in building the phone. Called Project Ara, Motorola’s version is somewhat different from Hakkens’s, possibly because it started “first,” but it is clearly heavily influenced by Phonebloks. In fact, Motorola offered Hakkens a job offer at the Google headquarters, which he refused because he wants to keep Phonebloks separate from third parties. The major pitfall of Phonebloks is the inability to rival “compacted” smartphones (e.g. iPhone, Samsung Galaxy, etc.) in efficiency. Because phones that are not customizable can have only one layout, their components are placed in the optimal locations, which makes them faster. Additionally, because parts are not made to be detachable, they can be held together with glue; this allows better contact between parts – thus boosting speed. However, Hakkens and Motorola believe they can overcome these problems despite the criticism, so they will continue development. Google announced that it will release a developer kit this winter so comapanies can start creating apps.

Power of the PC in the comfort of the living room ■ By Stephen Huff (‘14)

Eastside Staff

Video game corporation Valve, which is also responsible for the computer game marketplace Steam, recently announced a new, free Linux-based operating system designed around gaming in the living room called SteamOS. SteamOS is constucted completely around Steam itself. In addition to this, the OS is Linux-based, meaning it will be highly customizable and will encourage collaboration between developers. The emphasis on building an operating system is a part of a new effort by Valve to establish itself and PC gaming as a presence in the living room right along other gaming juggernauts such as Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo. Valve hopes to accomplish this in part with the Steam Machine, a tiny console that will allow a user to play games on the Steam marketplace in the comfort of his or her own living room. In addition to capabilities such as playing video games directly from a Steam Machine or streaming them from a PC to the device, SteamOS also provides features like family sharing and streaming of music, TV shows and movies. The announcement was a part of a set of three that revealed Valve’s plan to expand its “Big Picture Mode,” an initiative that aims to make playing Steam games on one’s television more comfortable. While Valve’s decision has many supporters, there are also fair shares of people who disagree with the idea. Valve’s announcement to create its own OS has received praise from a myriad of places. John Gibson, president of Tripwire Interactive, a studio

Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Valve promises to stir up the console market with SteamOS. responsible for video game hits such as Killing Floor, Red Orchestra was ecstatic about Valve’s announcement. “An open platform OS created by a company focused on gaming and meeting customer’s needs–how could we not be excited by SteamOS?” he said. One of the bigger criticisms so far has been that it will be difficult for Valve to draw in new consumers. This difficulty arises from the fact that unless the user is streaming games from his or her computer, the Steam Machine will only be able to play games that are Linux compatible. Of the 3000 games that are on the Steam marketplace, only 534 of them run on Linux.

“I can’t see something like streaming capabilities and a new OS drawing huge numbers of new players into the PC gaming sphere, even if we are going to be experiencing a console transition anyway,” wrote Dave Thier, a contributor at Forbes. The beta for SteamOS and also for the Steam Machine hardware began on October 25. However, getting in to the beta proved to be difficult, as only 300 were selected. In regards to when SteamOS can be expected to release, Valve has said that users can expect it soon. Other than that, though, Valve is remaining tight-lipped, as it usually is.

December 2013

Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

The Secrets of iOS 7 ■ By Aaron Molotsky (‘15) For Eastside

You may not believe me, but I have shocking news about iOS 7: you know absolutely nothing about what it can really do. Take for instance, the front-facing camera. Everyone knows that it allows you to use Snapchat and take selfies. But did you know that with solely it alone you can control your phone? In the Settings app, head to General > Accessibility > Switch Control. Within this menu, you can turn on a “switch” that assigns a system gesture (e.g. Home Button, Lock Button, etc.) to a host of different actions. One of these actions is, of course, moving your head either left or right. Pretty cool, right? The same Accessilibity section of the Settings app contains countless other fun features. For example, you can change the system font size, you can invert the colors of your iDevice, and you can even add LED flashes to your notifications, all in this one part of the Settings app. However, if you’re a typical teenage kid, you’ll probably end up spending most of your time texting your friends and not looking through the Settings app. As a simple yet effective feature, Apple added timestamps for your text messages, allowing you to see when you sent and when you received messages. All you need to do is swipe left while looking at a text conversation. Yet even these hidden features don’t completely show what iOS 7 secretly has to offer. I bet you didn’t know that in Settings > Phone > Messages > Blocked, you can block any phone number you want from calling or texting you. These are just some of the many underground new features in iOS 7. If you experiment with the different settings and apps in the new platform, you just might just discover others.


UNDERGROUND

December 2013

EASTSIDE

Page 13

Mayday Parade releases Monsters in the Closet ■ By Christina DiCriscio (‘16)

For Eastside

On October 8, 2013, a rising band from Tallahassee, Florida, Mayday Parade, released its fourth full-length album: Monsters in the Closet. The band consists of five members: Derek Sanders (vocalist), Jeremy Lenzo bass), Jake Bundrick (drums), and Brooks Betts and Alex Garcia on guitar. Last fall, Lenzo and Betts started a folk side-project outside of Mayday Parade called Truth or Consequences. Their new folk experience was used as inspiration for Monsters in the Closet. The album was released under Fearless Records, a record label that tends to give its bands independence while in the process of recording and producing an album. With this freedom, Mayday Parade’s sound was able to grow and mature, as it has come a long way since its first EP. There remains a pop-punk sound to some songs, similar to its older music, and a distinct folk sound to others, representing their development over the years. The double-layered vocals from singer Derek Sanders and drummer Jake Bundrick are still prevalent in many of the songs. This music featured on Monsters in the Closest is not anything near “heavy,” and cannot be compared to other Fearless Records bands, like Pierce the Veil or Motionless in White. Beautiful heartfelt ballads that drip with emotion are presented on Mayday’s newest release. Mayday kept up its notorious heartbroken lyrics, while still managing to give a great sense of faith and hope to the listener. “Ghosts,” the first single off of this album, begins the same way Mayday Parade’s self-titled album does: a slow piano piece paired with Sanders’s

smooth vocals, progressing into an upbeat rock song. Track 4, called “12 Through 15” is another hit. It begins with a guitar riff and faint talking in the background. The drums grow as the song progresses and Sanders begins to sing. The song is slow but has a lot of heart and meaning. Helena Sirken(‘15)/ Eastside Art Director “The walls Mayday Parade released Monsters in the Closet in October. keep tumbling down Overall, this is a great album. Maybut I’ll stand brave,” Sanders repeats day Parade has matured impressively throughout the song. in its sound since 2005 when it began The chorus is slow with layered as a six-piece punk band. vocals. The song ends with Sanders Imagery from previous Mayday albelting lyrics and the fading out of the bums, such as the “umbrella man,” is guitar riff that was present throughstill used. Fans are trying to decipher out the entire song. the messages and piece together this “Sorry Not Sorry” is another amazman’s story. ing song from Monsters in the Closet. Mayday Parade is on The Glamour It is upbeat and the beginning guitar Kills tour this fall to promote its new solo is enough to make your jaw drop, album. Supporters include fellow Floeven though it is only roughly ten secridians, Stages and Stereos; Cartel, onds long. The bridge features vocals who hails from Georgia; and emergby backup singer, Bundrick, and evening stereotypical pop-punk band, Man tually Sanders chimes in with the layOverboard from Mt. Laurel, New Jerering vocals for which Mayday Parade sey. should receive more recognition.

Christina’s Top 10 Songs By Mayday Parade: 10. “Amber Lynn” -Valdosta 9. “Everything’s an Illusion” -- Mayday Parade 8. “Stay” -- Mayday Parade 7. “No Heroes Allowed” -- Mayday Parade 6. “Bruised and Scarred” -- Anywhere But Here 5. “I Swear This Time I Mean It” -- Anywhere But Here 4. “If You Wanted A Song Written About You, All You Had To Do Was Ask” -- A Lesson In Romantics 3. “The Last Something That Meant Anything” -- Tales Told by Dead Friends 2. “Miserable At Best” -- A Lesson In Romantics 1.“Three Cheers for Five Years”--Tales Told by Dead Friends

Logo by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

My Twinn Dolls

■ By Rebecca Cohen (‘15)

the process goes as far as purchasing matching outfits for the girl and her doll. Once she chooses what she For years now, My Twinn has wants her doll to wear, she can purbeen making girls chase the exact from ages 3-12 outfit in her smile all over the size so she and country. My Twinn her doll can be is a company that twins to the creates your twin in fullest extent. doll form. Since its From there, the competitor, Ameridoll is shipped can Girl Doll, has to the girl’s been increasingly house so she popular over the can meet her years, My Twinn long-lost twin. has never gotten Though still the full recognition competing with it deserves. American Girl, Like My Twinn, My Twinn has girls can personalbecome more ize an American complex and Girl Doll to look popular since like they do, but no its uprising in company has gotten the early 2000’s. this process as preRecently, the cise as My Twinn dolls were feahas. To create a tured on “The doll, girls can log Ellen Show” Courtesy of Rebecca Cohen (‘15) to onto MyTwinn.com promote and click on “Cus- Underground editor Rebecca their unique tom Doll Designer.” Cohen (‘15) with her own My company. The From there, girls Twinn Doll at age 5. business has answer a series of become more questions about complex and their physical appearance including varied with each year they sell eye, skin, hair color, hair type and twins. Now, it is even available for style. It will even ask if the girl has boys to make twins. The company any specific birthmarks or freckles thrives off of its individual process that should be included. At the end and outstanding results. Dolls are of this process, the girl must upload special to young girls and having a photo of herself so the makers one that looks like you makes the at My Twinn can make her doll as experience that much more excitidentical as possible. From there, ing. Eastside Underground Editor


ENTERTAINMENT

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EASTSIDE

December 2013

Child stars succeed throughout the years

aged to follow a modeling career, Portman chose acting instead. The first film With celebrities like Mishe appeared in is Léon: ley Cyrus—or in earlier The Professional (1994). years, Britney Spears and She acted in several other Lindsay Lohan—making films before she was cast headlines for their crazy anas Queen Amidala in Star tics, a stereotype revolving Wars Episode I: The Phanaround childhood stars has tom Menace (1999). This been formed. While many role gave Portman national celebrities who started as fame. Portman stayed in a young actors have taken a public high school during turn for the worse, there many of these films, where are still some successful she received straight A’s childhood stars who have and made Honor Roll. maintained a successful caThe witty Portman at 14 reer. once joked, “I’ve been alive Before Ryan as long as your Gosling won show’s been going the hearts of on,” while on “Late many as Noah Night With David Calhoun in Letterman.” The Notebook Portman, who (2004), or reproved to be wellceived an Acadrounded, took a emy Award break from acting nomination (besides the Star for Best Actor Wars films) to atwith Half Neltend Harvard Unison (2006), he versity and she starred alonggraduated in 2003. side stars like Portman was nomiJustin Timnated for an Oscar berlake and in 2004 for her role Christina Aguin Closer, and she ilera in Disney also continued to Channel’s “The play Queen AmaMickey Mouse Rachel Pacitti (‘15) / Eastside Art Director dila in the last two Club” (1993). Ryan Gosling, Neil Patrick Harris and Natalie Portman are three examples of successful child stars. Star Wars episodes. Gosling landed In 2010, she received the role over thousands of Teen Choice Awards, a Sattried—or at least hoped— to Harris hosted “The Tony an Academy Award and a other hopeful actors after ellite Award and an MTV remain a normal teenager. Awards” four times and Golden Globe for Best Acgoing to an open audition in Movie Award. “In the pilot, [Doogie is] “The Emmy Awards” twice. tress in Black Swan. With Montreal. His more recent credits talking to his dad and he It was recently announced her wide range of films and Gosling, a triple-threat, include The Ides of March just wishes he could just be that Harris will star in the versatile personality, Portdazzled audiences by sing(2011), Crazy, Stupid, Love. a normal kid, which is true first Broadway production man remains a level-heading, dancing and acting on (2011) and Only God Forfor myself,” said Harris at of Hedwig and the Angry ed and successful actress, the “The Mickey Mouse gives (2013). Today, Gosling 16, on “Entertainment ToInch. Harris, too, like Gosas well as role model. Club.” His charm was eviremains just as charismatic night.” ling, has remained a reAlthough notorious for dent even as a child. as he was as a 12-year-old However, he did enjoy spectable actor. becoming attention-thirsty Gosling starred on the and has followed a clean starring in the show. Natalie Portman was just or trouble-making, some show for two years before he path towards success. “I’m real honored to be an 11-year-old when she childhood stars have grown moved on to other programs Neil Patrick Harris was able [to be Doogie] and I was discovered at a pizza up to be admirable figures such as “Breaker High” known as Doogie Howser, think it’s great, and I [am] parlor. Originally encourin the pop culture world. ■ By Rachel Cohen (‘15)

Eastside Editor-in-Chief

(1997-1998) and “Young Hercules” (1998-1999). In 2000, he played the role of high school football player Alan Bosley in the heartwarming movie Remember The Titans. After, he built up a repertoire of independent films before starring in The Notebook. The Notebook quickly became one of the most popular romance movies of the 2000’s and Gosling became known as the swoonworthy actor the world sees him as today. The movie won eight

the teenage doctor in “Doogie Howser, M.D.” (19891993), before he was ever known as Barney Stinson from “How I Met Your Mother”. Harris landed his huge role in “Doogie Howser, M.D.” when he was 16. The part earned him a Golden Globe Nomination and a People’s Choice Award for Favorite Male Performer in a New Series. During the run of the show, Harris made sure to stay on top of school work and successfully managed to not overwork himself. He

very grateful that this has all turned out the way it has,” he said. Harris later appeared in a few movies and made his Broadway debut in Proof (2001). In 2005, Harris began his starring role as womanizer Barney Stinson in “How I Met Your Mother,” which has earned him a plethora of awards, nominations and recognition. Not only has Harris won multiple awards, but he has also hosted many of the shows where such awards are given out.

Pure Heroine offers an addictive sound dress or climb out of an egg like Lady Gaga. She’s the epitome of hip and cool, yet never seems like Eastside News/Features Editor she’s trying too hard or putting on a fake persoIf you haven’t heard of Lorde by now, you’ve na. It’s maddeningly unfair that someone could either been living under a rock or are combe so in tune with herself at such a pletely oblivious to pop culture. New young age, but she is aware of Zealand import Ella Yelichher uniqueness. The pubO’Connor, stage named Lorde lic has embraced her (pronounced Lord), has manmusic, carrying the aged to capture both the altalented singer furternative charts and the ther than costumes hearts of the most mainand confections ever stream American public. would. Her top-ten hit “RoyHer music als” remained at number is unlike one for over three weeks any other and has been covered by song in musicians ranging from the Top 40 the 1975 to Selena Gomez. playlist. Lorde’s much anticipated Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heralbum, oine, was released on Pure HerSeptember 30, and imoine, was mediately became the first remost downloaded album leased on of the week on iTunes. SeptemIt’s clear why—there is ber 27 in not one misstep on the New Zeaalbum. Each song is land and uniquely unified by Australia. Lorde’s distinct voOn Sepcals and a sound that tember is truly and individu30, the ally hers. album reUnlike Ke$ha, leased in Lorde does not have the Unitany interest in created States. ing auto-tuned, glitterR e pop. She’s not shooting cording for frosting out of her bra like the album Katy Perry any time soon, started in and she is definitely 2012 afRachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director ter A&R not about to dress in a head-to-toe meat Lorde’s album art reveals the diversity of her sound. s c o u t ■ By Jenna Wilson (‘15)

Scott Maclachlan discovered Lorde and producer Joel Little signed the then twelve-year-old singer with Universal Music. Pure Heroine truly has a track list that fits well with the name. It’s addictive, from the first note of the first track. The album begins with “Tennis Court,” the song that, along with “Royals,” introduced Lorde to the world. It’s detached, filled with emotions yet completely vacant at the same time. With very little background tracks, Lorde carries the song with her voice alone. She manages to capture the essence of the teenager—without her lyrics pining over boys who broke her heart. Lorde isn’t the girl sobbing over a crush into a pint of ice cream. “400 Lux,” the second song on the album, continues this trend. She captures it perfectly: “we might be hollow, but we’re brave,” she croons. Simply put, she sings, “I’d like it if you stay.” The album continues with the spirit of a teenage rebel, an outcast struggling to fit in the world. In “On Team” she sings, “I’m kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air/ So there,” capturing her disinterest in becoming a typical popstar. “Still Sane,” one of the power anthems on the album, describes how teenagers today are forced to grow up and how they are thrusted into the adult world without warning. In “White Teeth Teens,” Lorde exposes the façade that many teens put up with; those who try to become the “typical” high schooler. “I’ll let you in on something big/ I am not a white teeth teen/ I tried to join but never did,” she sings. The background tracks float behind her crystal voice, faded and slow so that her vocals are prominently on display. Her music has meaning, rather than singing about failed relationships or boy crushes. Lorde sings the truth, and it has clearly paid off as it inspires listeners to embrace their differences and live diversified lives. The title of the album is fitting—it is Pure Heroine. Prepare to become addicted and have it on repeat for days.


ENTERTAINMENT

December 2013

EASTSIDE

SNL introduces new team members ■ By Danya Trommer (‘17)

For Eastside

This year, the cast of SNL has undergone some major changes, such as the addition of six featured players from a variety of comedic backgrounds.

Page 15

From book to movie:

The Notebook

■ By Dani Roth (‘15)

Eastside Entertainment Editor

Courtesy of nbc.com

Courtesy of nbc.com

Courtesy of nbc.com

Beck Bennett from SNL

Mike O’Brien from SNL

Brooks Wheelan from SNL

You may recognize Beck Bennett from the current AT&T commercial campaign. You may have also seen him on YouTube, where he stars in the “Theatre of Life” videos. Beck is also co-founder of the sketch comedy group Good Neighbor, along with fellow SNL castmate Kyle Mooney. He has been a member of the Upright Comedy Brigade since 2007.

Mike O’Brien is the star of the online comedy show “7 Minutes in Heaven” and has written for SNL for four years. O’Brien is known for his various roles on the sketch comedy show, “Portlandia,” and his work with the sketch comedy group, The Reckoning. You can catch him in the upcoming film, Staten Island Summer, alongside other new SNL cast members.

Brooks Wheelan started performing comedy acts right after graduating high school. In college, he worked for Collegehumor. com as a contributing writer. Wheelan performed at the New York Comedy Festival as one of the “Top 10 Comics to Watch.” In addition, Wheelan made his television debut in 2013 on Adam Devine’s “House Party” on Comedy Central.

Courtesy of nbc.com

Courtesy of nbc.com

Courtesy of nbc.com

Kyle Mooney from SNL

John Milhiser from SNL

Noël Wells from SNL

Kyle Mooney currently stars in XFinity’s latest ad campaign. He co-stars in the “Theatre of Life” series with Bennett, and is a part of the Good Neighbor sketch group. Mooney has performed in and written for the Upright Comedy Brigade since 2007, and has appeared on shows such as “Parks and Recreation” on NBC and “Hello Ladies” on HBO.

John Milhiser co-founded the sketch group Seriouslunch.com and has performed with the Upright Comedy Brigrade since 2009. Milhiser has toured around the country, performing one-man stand-up comedy acts and being featured in various comedy shows, such as the New Faces Characters showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival.

Noël Wells is the only female addition to the cast. She frequently stars in videos on Collegehumor.com, FunnyOrDie.com and Cracked.com. She also appears in various commercials that can be seen on television. Wells also performs at the Upright Comedy Brigade Theatre. Fans of independent films may recognize her from new indie movie, Forev.

Nicholas Sparks creates an eternal love between Noah and Allie in his 1996 novel, The Notebook. Fans of the book can watch the love story play out in Cassavetes’s 2004 film with the same title. The novel and film focus on Noah (Ryan Gosling), a poor and devoted man who quickly falls in love with Allie (Rachel McAdams), a rich and beautiful woman. The novel takes place between the summer of 1932 and the present lives of the characters in New Bern, North Carolina. Contrary to the film, on the night they meet, Noah and Allie stay together the whole night; he does not jump onto a Ferris Wheel to impress her. Gosling portrays Noah as a romantic seventeen-year-old who dances in the street and writes Allie “every day for a year.” Although Sparks describes Noah as a “faithful man,” Cassavetes depicts him as a dreamy young man to make viewers fall even more in love with him. In Cassavetes’s version, James Garner narrates the love story and claims that Noah and Allie “rarely agree on everything...but they are crazy about each other.” The pair challenges each other daily and is far from an ideal relationship, yet Sparks creates a couple that seem to have a perfect relationship. The film and novel introduce the same characters and plot. Allie’s parents break Noah and Allie apart because of social differences; Noah demonstrates the

Eastside Entertainment Editor

Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Ben Affleck has success in both the acting and directing businesses.

In Memory of Richard Pierce

Cherry Hill East Stockroom Employee. Brightener of Days.

life of a common farmer as Allie lives a wealthy lifestyle in the city. Years after writing to her frequently and fighting in World War II, Noah finds Allie engaged to Lon. Noah and Allie continue to love each other through the course of the film and novel, even when they are both with other partners. The main difference between the novel and the film is the ending. Cassavetes ends his film poetically, in which Noah and Allie die in each other’s arms. Sparks finishes The Notebook with Allie remembering her life with Noah and spending the night with him. He ends it ambiguously in order to make a sequel, The Wedding, which follows the life of Noah and Allie’s daughter. Cassavetes captures the love through the differences between Noah and Allie, which strengthens the bond between them. Sparks, on the other hand, writes about two people who share similarities and form a romantic relationship out of their friendship. Whether reading or watching The Notebook, audiences and readers value the commitment between Noah and Allie that formed over the years, apart or together.

Actors multi-task in Hollywood by becoming directors as well ■ By Abby Hoffman (‘14)

Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

In Hollywood, it is becoming more and more popular for an actor to attach himself or herself to supplementary professions. Though some celebrities will often take on too much responsibility and lose sight of their true talents, others know how to balance between what works for them and what does not. Take the case of Woody Allen. While he first started out writing and producing films, he frequently appeared in his own creations, portraying the various personas that he developed for himself as a standup comedian in the 1960’s. Some examples of Allen’s successful directing career include Love and Death (1975), Manhattan (1979), Annie Hall (1977) and Blue Jasmine (2013). Though Hollywood stars proved their multivariable talents before Allen, his work seems to be the stepping-off point for current stars to delve deeper into their work in front of and behind the camera. A more recent example of an actor-turned-director is Ben Affleck, who starred in and directed the Academy Award-winning film, Argo. In addition to the three Oscars that the movie received, Affleck went on to win Best Director at the Golden Globes, an award that he

deserved after copious amounts of hard work and dedication. Affleck will now be considered as a successful actor and director in terms of his career in the limelight. Similarly, Joseph Gordon-Levitt wrote, directed and starred in Don Jon, a film that premiered on September 27. Gordon-Levitt recognized that his experience received from directing short films in previous years for hitRecord has taught him exactly what he needed to know to eventually put together Don Jon. Gordon-Levitt wrote early notes for the film in 2008 and ultimately came together for Don Jon’s first public appearance at the Sundance Film Festival on January 18, 2013. From the big screen to behind the scenes, actors have turned to new proficiencies in the film business in order to not only add onto their resumes, but also to comprehend what exactly goes into the final processing of movies and television shows. So far, most stars have been provided with the opportunity for a smooth transition, therefore resulting in a successful outcome. Hopefully in the future, multi-talented actors will realize their potential for success from the past generations of Hollywood mentors and will produce quality films.


HUMOR

Page 16

EASTSIDE

December 2013

Hand turkey visits East and leaves students enchanted ■ By Haley Schultz (‘14)

Eastside News/Features Editor

A turkey was seen walking through the halls of East on November 20, shocking hundreds of East students and at least one cafeteria worker. Benjamin Pilgramstein (’14) first saw the turkey walking through C-wing intersection. “It was crazy,” he said. “The turkey was just walking through the hallways like a student. It’s a good thing I was skipping Study Hall… who knows what the turkey might have done.” Pilgramstein immediately told Mr. Jeremy Shall and Mr. Richard Shmenta, two science teachers, who then tracked down the turkey using a custom-made turkey-tracking device. “When I found the turkey-tracking device online, I knew it would come in handy some day. Mr. Shmenta told me I was crazy for thinking that, but I proved him wrong,” said Shall. Around 11 a.m. on No-

vember 20, students in jumped into one of the swimsurprised by the turkey Lunch Break One heard ming pools. Some of the splashing around in the the turkey’s gobbling all s t u d e n t s in third-floor pool. the way from third-floor BC-wing who were “That turkey is awesome. wing. looking out I was in homeroom and I “I don’t know how t h e window ran to the window after the turkey got all said t h a t I heard gobbling and the way up to the they were splashing. I saw the third floor,” said turkey and thought Shmenta. “But we to myself ‘that was g o t him.” sick, man,’” said JaAcson Cranberrysaucecordman (’17). ing to The turkey was seen Charlater wreaking havoc l i e in the wrap line, on the Stuffingstage in the DiBart Gym feld (‘15), and in the vocal room, a boy who respecrecently broke his leg playing badminton in gym class, the turkey managed to get that far by “using its tivebrain.” The turkey unly. derstood the rules and When Shall and knew that it couldn’t Shmenta got to the go up the Down stairs, location using the tursaid Stuffingfeld. So, it took key-tracking device, they Stuffingfeld’s crutches and were immediately dumbgot a ride on the elevator. founded. Once the turkey got Sydney Steele (‘16)/ Eastside Staff to third-floor B-wing, it The hand turkey shows its magnificent feathers.

April Showers voyages to New World from England

was positively horrendous,” said Syd Pumpkinsmith, a Eastside Humor Editor 20-year-old passenger. A cruise ship, the April However, some of these Showers, left the coast of customs appealed to many England on Novemof the April Showers’ ber 26, 2013, with passengers. “Those 3,078 passengers and Ugg Boots are really staff. The strange and comfortable,” said relatively new world Squashson. of America lay ahead After the passenof them. This group of gers acclimated to people planned to find Massachusetts, they a new home in Amerhad a large feast ica where they could with the original resiseek world peace and dents. a better Internet con“The food they nection. cooked was delicious The voyage was and much more nulong and brutal, tritious than what we mostly because they were eating on the couldn’t bring their ship,” said Captain iPhones. There was George Cornucopianowhere to plug their man. chargers. This meant It seems the voyage a whole 60 days withof the April Showers out Candy Crush, Inwas a success, but Photo illustration by Andi Leff (14)/ Eastside Photo Editor stagram or Twitter. the passengers were “It was particular- The April Showers cruises during its voyage just before arriving at even happier when its destination, Massachusetts. ly hard for me,” said they could finally Martha Squashson, charge their iPhones. a 16-year-old passenger. When the ship dropped of the native customs. “We tweeted about the “Exceptionally dull, really. anchor in Cape Cod, the “One of them was watchjourney,” said CornucopiaSometimes I wished I could English passengers were ing a video of a girl sitting man, “and also this new just watch Netflix or check surprised by some of the naked on a wrecking ball. It star named Miley Cyrus.” ■ By Molly Schultz (‘14)

my Twitter. I even thought of some great things to tweet over the voyage, but of course Twitter didn’t work. Ugh.”

“Key of He was practicing in the vocal room when suddenly we heard this beautiful tenor voice belting Miley’s ‘We Can’t Stop.’ We tried to recruit him, but he just gobbled and ran away,” said Josh Greenbean (‘14). The turkey did not look the way the East community had thought it would. Instead, it was a hand turkey that looked like it had come straight out of a sixyear-old’s notebook. “It wasn’t what I expected,” said Shall. “I thought everyone was fussing over a real turkey.” With an oddly symmetrical body and a smallerthan-normal waddle, the turkey clearly did not live up to Thanksgiving feast standards. “We still don’t know where the turkey came from or how it got into the school, but we were relieved when it left with the rest of the students as the bell rang,” said Shall. “I missed my free period, but getting to use the turkey-tracker device was completely worth it.”

natives that lived there. Although they were welcomed warmly by the residents of Massachusetts, the passengers were confused by some

News briefs logo by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Aramark sells only cereal during Spirit Week. Schapman purchases his first pair of Ugg Boots for the upcoming season. New float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade features O’Schmeeza. Humor editors struggle to find another news brief to fill this space. Students thank lunchtime accouncements for reminding them of what day it is. Schapman enraged that no class chose “Scholar-O’s” as its Spirit Week theme. Jordan Stein takes multiple personas, sabotages humor section.

Black Friday proves to be more dangerous than customers thought ■ By Stordan Jein (‘14)

Eastside Photo Editor

Black Friday is a day of shopping, excitement and intense competition! I was all fired up and ready to go when I entered one of my favorite shops, The Crafty Corner. Not only does The Crafty Corner sell awesome craft supplies, but it’s also family-friendly! The line was chock-full of people, from young kids to adults to slightly-more-ancient adults. Speaking of ancient, my grandma was there, too. She didn’t say hi to me, though… she was way too focused! I could tell she had her game face on, as did everyone waiting to stampede the store. The moment the shop owner, Bill, unlocked the door, everyone took off! Bill and I are best friends!

When I sprinted through the door, I raised my hand to high-five him… but he didn’t see me, so I was kind of left hangin’, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that we’re besties! I mean, I’m at The Crafty Corner every day! That makes him my best friend, right? I dashed to the multi-colored yarn aisle so that I could have the first pick of yarn. There, in front of my eyes, two senior-citizen women were having a sword fight with crochet needles! So there I was, minding my own business and trying to get the yarn that I wanted and BAM! The one lady was so into this royal yarn-battle that she captured me and used me as a shield! I searched for someone to help me when suddenly, my grandma walked into the aisle. I thought that maybe she would come and rescue me… but I was mistaken! She grabbed the sewing supplies she wanted and took off! And I know she saw me be-

cause she looked at me, laughed, and then yelled “SUCKER!” as she waved goodbye. Black Friday really changed her! At last, I broke free from the older woman’s surprisingly tight grip and ran to another aisle. I was safe… or so I thought! I was running too fast, and I guess my feet just lost control! I grabbed onto a shelf hoping to pull myself up, but I accidentally grabbed a canister of circular beads instead. The beads spilled everywhere, making me wobble around. I swung my arms around and I think my hand knocked over some huge cans of paint… at this point you can probably guess what happened. I was now a million different colors! Blue, red, green and purple splattered all over me and all the surrounding items in the aisle! If things couldn’t get any worse, I eventually fell, plunging into a vat of markers. One marker even decided to attack my eye! I slowly lifted my head to look into the mir-

ror hanging on a shelf, and I saw that my right eye was beginning to swell like a balloon. The Crafty Corner’s employees had to call the police to escort me out because they said I was being a disturbance! Who would’ve thunk? I will never forget that day, especially now that I have to wear an eye patch for the next seven to ten months. Black Friday can be extremely brutal. You should definitely prepare for some intense competition while shopping for these sales found on Black Friday. I advise you all to wear knee pads, shin guards, eye guards and whatever other guards you need to protect yourself on the accident-prone day known as Black Friday! It’s such a struggle being a klutz! Photo by Molly Schultz (‘14)/ Eastside Humor Editor Story written by Jordan Stein (‘14)/ Eastside Photo Editor


HUMOR

December 2013

EASTSIDE

Page 17

Stretchy Pants Awareness Bill improves lives of U.S. citizens ■ By Abby Hoffman (‘14) Eastside Entertainment Editor

It’s that time of year again: Thanksgiving preparations in most households culminated in Thanksgiving and the December holidays are drawing closer. While the main purpose of the holiday is to remember meaningful aspects of the past year, everyone knows Thanksgiving for one reason—the food. From the overflowing mountain of brioche stuffing to the endless path of gravy flowing from the luscious cloud of whipped mashed potatoes, there is certainly no shortage of options to arrange for dinner. However, after you eat the heaping portions of turkey, it’s my bet that you wish you didn’t plan your outfit around that pair of tight skinny jeans you love so much. For this reason, the United States Government deHelena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director veloped the Stretchy Pant Uncle Sal, whom many call “Best Uncle,” proudly holds up a pair of sweatpants. Awareness (SPA) Bill to

Student creates new holiday

ing food. I care about science. I wish there were a popular holiday for electromagnetism.” Thanksgiving stands as an icon in AmeriMaxwell created an online petition askcan society. The very word conjures imaging for Thanksgiving, the fourth Thursday es of heaping plates of food, of November, to be replaced by the new bright cornucopias filled Electromagnetism Day. Despite his sheer with food and heartfelt enthusiasm for the cause, many students thanks… probably given disagree with his plan. to whomever prepared Maxwell’s older sister, Emma (’14), the food. Unsurprisingly, considers herself an expert on Maxwell’s Thanksgiving appeals to ideas. most East students, but “He talks to me about them all the time,” according to Thomas Maxshe said. “I personally think he’s kind of well (’15), that shouldn’t a hypocrite. He doesn’t like the popular be the case. holidays, especially Thanks“Thanksgiving giving, but he wants to make is horribly overratElectro-whatever Day a popued,” said Maxwell. lar holiday.” “It’s almost as bad One of Maxwell’s most reas Christmas or cent blog posts denounced Valentine’s Day. America’s constant talk about So many stores Thanksgiving. advertise it. I even Maxwell wrote, “We could saw a newspainstead talk about original per the other day topics like National Metric that had an entire Week or Pi Appromixation section all about Day... but instead we choose Thanksgiving.” one of the most clichéd holiMaxwell posts his Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director days: Thanksgiving. Sign my thoughts on various petition today.” holidays weekly using his blog, electromag Emma, however, remains pessimisnetismday.blogspot.com. tic. “I don’t think anyone will sign his peti“It’s a blog about how overrated all the tion,” she said. “I hope he doesn’t continue it traditional holidays are,” he said. “…I don’t and try replacing Christmas, or something. care about a historically-inaccurate story Besides, Thanksgiving has food and a school about Puritans and Native Americans eatbreak. Who doesn’t like that?” ■ By Lanxi Li (‘16)

Eastside Humor Editor

ban jeans and other pants with buttons from every dining room table on the last Thursday of November. Athletic pants are now to be worn at every Thanksgiving feast, an action which would increase the comfort of U.S. citizens. “[The SPA]... is a special bill. We genuinely wanted to help people with it, which isn’t always the case,” said Senator John Praetor, the main proponent of the bill. The last paragraph of Praetor’s speech supporting the bill reads: “No longer will we have to hide our stomachs in these shackles known as pants with buttons. And no longer, America, will our pants hold us back.” So for now, say goodbye to the unattractive muffin top and hello to the eatuntil-I-drop stretchiness in leggings and elastic sweatpants. You will never have to let your pants dictate your fullness on Thanksgiving again, and it’s all thanks to the SPA bill.

Black Friday causes injuries ■ By Brandon Gamer (‘15) For Eastside

Dear Black Friday warriors like me, I normally enjoy this day, but this year was very different. I wasn’t going to go to stores or anything. I mean, normally on Black Friday, you hear all these obscure news stories of questionable credibility about people getting hurt. So I thought that instead of going to a store, I would use a much safer route… Amazon! So there I was, surfing the web for cool sales, cheap shipping and awesome gadgets to fool around with. Because I’m a teenage boy, my first and second and third purchases obviously had to be video games! (The fourth was a new game console. Then I bought more video games for the console. I am not exploiting a stereotype of teenage boys at all, of course.) I stayed in my room for a while using my computer, so my mom figured it would be a swell idea to drown me in food. Life was good. After two hours of slouching in my chair staring at my computer, I finally decided to stand up and try to walk. My legs and feet were fast asleep and I felt really braindead, which wasn’t all that different from the time I stayed up until midnight playing Pokémon. I tried walking to my door, but I lost balance before then and had to grab my chair to steady myself. Unfortunately, though, the chair started rolling toward the door. I usually kept my

door closed, but today it was open. Wide open. Because my mom kept bringing me food. Thank you, mom. I rolled out the door and moved towards the steps. My legs were asleep, so I couldn’t get out of the chair. I tried to maneuver it to the side, but that was like playing a match of Super Smash Bros. Brawl using a Wiimote without the Nunchuk. Then my mother started walking up the steps with an enormous tray of food. I tumbled down the stairs and pummeled my mother down the stairs with me! Food flew everywhere. So there we were, flip-flopping down the stairs with the chair still in my hands and food now in our faces. It was painful. At the end of the stairs, I realized that hot gravy was dripping down my face and into my eye. I felt a leg of turkey on top of my head and stuffing stuck to my shirt. “I see you brought me last night’s leftovers,” I said. In that moment, I realized that Black Friday is dangerous wherever you spend it. Next year, I’m just going to stay in my room and play Legend of Zelda for the entire day. Or League of Legends. Or any other video game involving legends. Sincerely yours, Brandon, who is pretty sure he has a broken leg and a permanentlystained T-shirt.

Photo by Molly Schultz (‘14)/ Eastside Humor Editor Price tag by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director Story actually written by Jordan Stein (‘14)/ Eastside Photo Editor


Page 18

COMICS EASTSIDE

December 2013

The Giving Tree by Rachel Pacitti (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

Roles Reversed by Helena Sirken (‘15)/ Eastside Art Director

The Pitholes of East by Sydney Steele (‘16)/ Eastside Staff

Superhero Saves Daylight by Haley Schultz (‘14)/ Eastside News/Features Editor


December 2013

SPORTS EASTSIDE

Page 19

Owens named new girls’ varsity basketball coach ■ By Nick Ciocco (‘14)

Eastside Sports Editor

Mr. Kevin Owens is the head coach of the girls’ varsity basketball team this season. Owens was an assistant coach for the boys’ varsity basketball team for the past three seasons and first heard of the potential job opening when questions about Coach Ms. Kim Keyak’s resignation arose. Although Owens enjoyed being with the boys, he figured that the transition to coaching the girls would be beneficial for him. “Some of the best players I have trained were girls,” Owens said. Owens officially earned the job at the end of the 2012-2013 school year and was able to train with the girls throughout the summer. Owens is also lucky because every starter from last season is returning. Last season, unfortunately, every senior had been injured. Although this may have harmed the team last season, many younger players were able to see valuable playing time and gained some beneficial varsity experience. “Coach Owens’s determination and fire will ignite the girls’ basketball season this winter. Although

Coach Owens is a firstAlthough Owens was parents, school and, most time girls’ basketball coach quite the basketball player, importantly, leadership. at East, we are confident Allen was the coach from “Leaving the guys was in his abilities to lead us to whom Owens learned how the most difficult decision. success,” said senior point to coach. Allen taught OwLeaving the guys like Jake guard Zoe Schlessel [Silpe] (’15) and Austin (’14). [Wetzler] (’14) that I Owens grew up in put a lot of time in with. Barrington, New JerIt was tough to say I sey, just a short diswas moving on,” said tance from Cherry Owens. Hill East. He attendOwens first discussed ed Camden Catholic the division with Allen, and played basketball who supported his dethere. Owens went on cision wholeheartedly. from there to play colOwens wants to have legiate basketball at a good relationship bethe Division I level at tween boys’ coach and Monmouth University. girls’ coach in order to He also managed to help each other be sucplay an eight-year processful in the upcoming fessional career which season. brought him to nine “Owens is the perfect different countries. fit for the program,” said Obviously, Owens has senior shooting guard some qualifications for Katie O’Brien (’14). “He the job. has already made us a As for the varsity stronger team and we girls’ basketball team, can’t wait for this seaOwens has tried to inson.” still a sense of leaderOff the court, Owens ship amongst his securrently teaches Lanniors for the past six guage Arts at Carusi months. He feels that Courtesy of Kevin Owens Middle School. He does he has learned a lot Owens records his radio show. hope to be back in Cherabout leadership from ry Hill East next year Boys’ Varsity Basketwith a full-time teachball Head Coach Mr. ing position. Dave Allen. ens much of what he knows At Monmouth, Owens “As a player, you can’t today about coaching. Owmajored in broadcasting, teach leadership. But as a ens said coaching with and shortly after, started coach you can,” said OwAllen taught him organiwriting for publications. ens. zation, how to deal with He wrote for Slam Maga-

zine, SB Nation Philly, Hugging Harold Reynolds, Guy Speed and his blog Waiting For Godunk. Now, Owens has his own radio show called “The Matchup Zone.” Owens started “The Matchup Zone” about a year ago, and co-hosts the show with longtime friend Mike Gould. The show is done with professional sound equipment, and two current East students, Zach Friedman (’14) and Adam Bergen (’14), are working as interns for the show. “It’s great,” said Friedman. “I get to spend two hours of my week just talking with some of my closest friends and people actually care about what we have to say.” The show originally began with Owens and Gould discussing South Jersey high school basketball, but once the season ended, they started talking about college ball. After that, it was the NBA and later the show just became the two talking about any sport they wanted. The show can be heard at thematchupzone.com and podcasts can be downloaded from iTunes for free. The show is a passion for Owens and he takes pride in his work.

“I went there [Camden Catholic] at a time when we were really, really good,” Owens said. “I was lucky to get an offer before I ever even started a varsity game, which was very odd.” Once Owens started his senior year, he did begin to get other offers from many schools. Owens stuck with Monmouth, though, because he figured he would start all four years he went there, he would be close to home, he would have a chance to break many school records and he would have the opportunity to play in

BC Kalev/Cramo in Estonia in 2010. Owens managed to play an eight-year professional career that was played in nine different countries. “I got to travel the world and play basketball,” Ow-

Owens’ professional playing career in a nutshell ■ By Nick Ciocco (‘14)

Eastside Sports Editor

Owens attended Camden Catholic High School in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, for four years. During his time at the school (19941998), Owens did not start on the basketball team un-

North Carolina. In 2002, Owens was an eighth round NBA draft pick. He was able to begin an eight-year professional career by starting off with the NBA D-League team, the Roanoke Dazzle. Owens went into training camp that year and dominated against players that went to big-time colleges. “I had no idea what was going to happen in the future,” said Owens about the beginning of training camp. Owens made the squad and was a captain for three seasons he spent there. During his time with the Dazzle, Owens was able to put up substantial numbers and proved to be a rebound machine. In every season, Owens was in the top ten for every defensive catego-

After his three years spent with the Dazzle, Owens got a call from his agent. He was asked if he would like to play professional basketball in Australia. Although it was short notice, he accepted and went to Australia. In this first season in the country, Owens played for the Cairns Taipans in Cairns, Australia Australia was not the only international basketball that Owens played, however.

“I got to travel the world and play basketball.” the NCAA tournament. Owens attended Monmouth University the following year on a basketball scholarship. He started four seasons for the Hawks, and his senior year Owens averaged 12.0 points and 8.6 rebounds per game. Courtesy of Kevin Owens The Hawks Owens goes up strong at Monmouth. made the NCAA tournament Owens’s senior year til his senior year. Howevand played Duke Univerer, he did verbally commit sity in the first round of the to Monmouth University to tournament just a short display basketball his junior tance away from the Blue year. Devils’ home in Chapel Hill,

ry. In his 2003-2004 season, Owens led the team in defensive rebound percentage with a 26.0 percent. In that same freshman season, Owens was second in total rebound percentage with a 17.5 percent, eighth in block percentage with 3.5 percent and fifth in overall defensive rating with a 98.5 percent. He followed up his freshman season by showing that his forte was rebounding. In the 2004-2005 season, he had 127 offensive rebounds, which ranked him fourth; 209 defensive rebounds, which placed him eighth; and 336 total rebounds, which ranked him sixth. Owens also averaged ten rebounds per game in that season.

He also played for the Wellington Saints in Wellington, New Zealand, and the Ulsan Mobis Phoebus in Ulsan, South Korea, of the Korean Basketball League. Owens also Courtesy of Kevin Owens played in Owens shoots a hook shot at Roanoke. Poland, Japan and Singapore. In 2009, Owens played with ens said. “I wouldn’t trade Sigal Prishtina of the Koa second of it because of the sovo Super League and finexperience I had. I loved ished his career playing for it.”


December 2013

SPORTS EASTSIDE

Page 20

Getting to know Scott Hatch, East’s athletic trainer responder to injuries and makes all on-field assessments. Mr. Scott Hatch, East’s “I’m an athletic trainer. head athletic trainer, is I’m not a trainer; I’m not a known by many student personal trainer; I’m not a athletes as the funny, amistrength trainer. My job is able trainer who rides a the head athletic trainer. John Deere around East’s People don’t understand fields. While Hatch fits all the difference between an of these descriptions, he athletic trainer and a perdoes much more than just sonal or strength trainer. that for East. Personal Hatch betrainers can gan working get their at Cherry Hill certificate East in the over the 2010-11 school weekend, year. His interand go on est in athletic from there. training began That’s a many years bepart of my fore, however. job, but I do “I decided to much more go into medithan just cine my sophothat.” more year of His ulhigh school. I t i m a t e worked with my goal many, athletic trainer many years because I needinto the ed community future is service hours to spend for a bio projhis entire ect, and that’s career at when I knew I East. loved the field. “I want I’ve been doing to be able to it ever since,” tell student Hatch said. athletes, After high someday, school, Hatch about when attended East I had their Stroudsburg parents as Jordan Stein (‘14)/ Eastside Photo Editor a t h l e t e s . University, where he got East Athletic Trainer, Mr. Scott Hatch, wraps a student’s ankle before a game. That’s my his Bachelor’s ultimate and Master’s goal,” Hatch degrees in Sports Medicine. high schools, but in the end, on that.” said. He has had internships at he chose East. Additionally, Hatch said So, for many East stuthe middle school and high “I’m basically a kid. I’m a he wants people to know dents, Hatch may just be school levels, as well as in 26-year-old with a 14-yearwhat his position really enthe friendly guy who drives Division-I (with Lafayette old mentality. I think I untails. Athletic trainers don’t the John Deere and wraps College), Division-II footderstand high school kids, only train athletes, but reankles. More importantly, ball and a five-month stint what they’re going through. habilitate them, administer however, he is there for all as an intern for the BaltiI can relate to them, joke preventative medicine and injured athletes at East in more Ravens. around with them, and I provide means to increase order to help them recover “I did everything for the found that one of the bigathletes’ range of motion. faster and more successRavens. From water duties, gest parts of my job is havOn the field, he is a first fully. ■ By Jacob Borowsky (‘16)

Eastside Sports Editor

to treatments, to on-field evaluations. Basically everything I do now at East, I did there, too,” Hatch said of his NFL experience. Of the different environments he has worked in, Hatch says that his favorite place of employment is high school. After receiving his Master’s degree, Hatch received offers from other

ing them trust me,” Hatch said. Hatch added, “I figure if I can make them laugh, if I can joke around with them when they’re not hurt, then when they are hurt, they’ll be more open to me. They’ll tell me how they’re really feeling, how they’re really doing, and I can get a better gauge on their injury based

More on Hatch -Hometown: Newton, NJ

-College: East Stroudsberg University -Age: 26 -Twitter handle: @CougarsCougars -Favorite professional sports team: New Jersey Devils -Favorite movie: Fight Club -Favorite actor: Edward Norton -Favorite artist: Hardwell -Favorite album: Third Eye Blind, Self-titled album -Life’s motto: “It is better to stay quiet and have people think you are dumb than to open your mouth and prove them right.” -Inspiration: Matt Bayly, head athletic trainer for Lafayette College -Favorite restaurant: The Melting Pot -Ideal vacation spot: Home, because he hates vacations. -Side hobbies: Working out, and then countering the workout with some ice cream afterwards. -Item which Hatch could not go a day without: His 2013 black Mustang.

Jewett continues to lead the girls’ varsity tennis team to victory ■ By Marlee Zeitz (‘16)

Eastside Sports Editor

After another challenging season, the girls’ varsity tennis team has once again achieved success on the court. For many years now, girls’ tennis has been one of East’s best sports. The team had another great season, winning sectionals behind Coach Ms. Mary Jewett, who has been coaching at East for 15 years and is a certified Tennis Professional. The team won the Tournament of Champions in 2003 and has had continued success ever since. “I think that the biggest accomplishment that we have is the total 100 percent team unity for our team is always shown. I think that was our biggest accomplishment,” said Jewett. Jewett added, “I think the girls are all in it for each other and not just for individual success but for the team. It goes far beyond athletic achievement.” Jewett commented on the community that the team has established during the season. “The goal is to achieve success both on and off the tennis court and make it more about the community. It is a wonderful thing

to see players look beyond themselves and toward the

ceeded expectations for the season and is very satisfied

working during the season but also during offseason to

Courtesy of Mary Jewett

Jewett (center) has led the girls’ tennis team for the past 15 years. team,” said Jewett. Captain Tyler Haaz (’14) believes that the team ex-

with how everything turned out. “Everyone was not just

improve and get better. We had some girls from JV from last year who have stepped

it up and just played outstanding,” said Haaz. Jewett believes that each girl has learned to become mentally strong and able to feel comfortable in any given situation at any given time. “I try to teach the girls how to work through tough situations and be able to deal with uncomfortable situations because when you’re playing tennis, you’re alone and everyone is watching you. It’s not like you’re on a soccer field with a million kids running around or a football field, you’re out there alone and sometimes it comes down to one match,” said Jewett. Jewett and Haaz both agreed that the team outdid themselves with its performance this season. “We definitely surpassed our goals. We did not expect to get as far as we did since we lost three seniors last year, so we came in expecting to have a building year, but we went above and beyond,” said Haaz. Although the year was supposed to be somewhat of a rebuilding year for the team, the girls achieved more than what they expected and Coach Jewett is already preparing for another strong year for the 2014 season.


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