WAAPA: The new revo fittness?

WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED BY izabelle french

For the blissfully unaware, ECU is moving to the city! The new campus will house the future of business and arts at ECU from late 2025 onwards. But what will become of WAAPA? The historical site where Hugh Jackman and… other people once walked? Who will take care of the yellow brick walls, the posters of concerts long past deteriorating over the red door-frames, the weird modernist chairs that aren’t designed for humans to sit? Though officially it’s going to the high school directly next to the university, I have a better idea.

Vice-Chancellor, Mr Steve Chapman, this article is now directly aimed at you! I hope you’re doing well. Now I know I am but a humble student with naught a penny or brain-cell to thine name, but I ask that you listen up and listen well. The WAAPA building is prime location for many businesses. I could see a law firm fitting neatly inside its walls. It could become a mall, cozy, sure, but with a charm and history that is sure to lure in patrons. But all that pales in comparison to the true fate of WAAPA, the one correct future for that magnificent space: you should make it a Revo Fitness.

Revo Fitness is a franchise of gyms across all of Australia, and like a plague, is expanding its reach across all suburbs and towns.

Now, if there’s anything I know about Australian culture, we just love colonialist ideology, and should engage with it as much as possible!

ECU! Now’s your chance! Assimilate into the masses! Become a Revo Fitness.

The ballet rooms, with their hardwood floors and floor-to-ceiling mirrors, is an amazing place to spot one another. You want to lift something heavy but can’t find anything? Grab one of the nearby pianos and get swole! Use the audio cables as skipping ropes! Those sound proofing foam thingies? Put them in a leather sack to create the perfect punching-bag! Tackle a speaker! Practice your nunchuck skills with two microphones!

Not only would it be easy to transform WAAPA’s facilities into a Revo Fitness, as it turns out, WAAPA already offers a lot of the gym experience: the background sound of doors and a cacophony of voices, jacked men who are constantly listening to music that doesn’t fit their whole vibe, and a bunch of people who don’t know how to use equipment, the only thing we’re missing is a peloton.

You have the power to do this, Vice-Chancellor. Make WAAPA a Revo Fitness.