PROCRASTINATION STATION

ALL THE SHOWS YOU NEED TO KNOW AS EXAMS APPROACH

ILLUSTRATED BY DANAE MATTHEWS

The Last Of Us

For those who haven’t played the PlayStation original game series by Naughty Dog, The Last of Us follows Joel and Ellie, a non-biological fatherdaughter duo as they traverse a post-apocalyptic world following a viral outbreak that zombifies the infected. Headed by everyone’s ideal father-figure, Pedro Pascal, and the foul-mouthed Bella Ramsay, HBO Max’s adaptation is a real tear-jerker that stays true to the source material, traumatising any fan of the original games all over again.

Rating: Just put Pedro in everything.

Hunters

This one is for all the history buffs out there. Hunters, set in the late 70s, follows Jonah, a young Jewish man navigating a changing America, in an era where post-war tragedy afflicts the Jewish community greatly. There’s no easy way of leading into this next part, so to put it bluntly, the show is about a team of rag-tag Nazi hunters set out to avenge the traumatic events of the Holocaust. Featuring Logan Lerman and the veteran Al Pacino as the main protagonists, viewers beware, this one gets very, very violent.

Rating: No one likes a Nazi.

The Boys

Superhero movies and shows have always been a big draw for audiences, but lately they’ve started missing the mark – whether that be because of burnout or quality control. The Boys, however, is a refreshing take on the genre, mainly because it inverts the definition of a hero, showing them as flawed, narcissistic and sadistic bunch, in an ultra-violent way. Helmed by Antony Starr and Karl Urban, this tale would surely make any would-be Avenger blush.

Rating: This ain’t no Disney flick.

The Witcher

Ever wondered what Superman would look like wearing armoured leather, yellow contacts and your grandma’s hair? Well, this show has the answer for you. Yet another video game adaptation that does its fan base justice, The Witcher follows Gelart of Rivia, a famed monster hunter and mercenary as he sets out to protect a young would-be queen, all while navigating their intertwined destiny. Featuring Henry Cavil in the headline role, this show is perfect for those stormy winter days.

Rating: Biceps/10

Archer

Now, Archer has been around for a long time, it’s an oldie, but is most definitely a goldie. Airing in 2009, this animated adult-comedy follows Stirling Archer, a savvy James Bond-esque character without any of the suave British charisma or an ounce of sense. The only similarity being his very apparent drinking problem and crisp suits. This 13-season-long adventure is rife with all the tropes of the spy genre and knows exactly how to poke fun at the genre as a whole and itself. Featuring a star studded voice cast, Archer will have you laughing all over the shop.

Rating: Welcome to the Danger Zone.

Wednesday

Nothing is original anymore, with franchises, remakes and adaptations growing in popularity. But when you mix the powerhouse of gothic filmography, Tim Burton with the talents of the eerily committed actress, Jenna Ortega, and the quirky source material of the Addams Family, you get 8 episodes of prime time entertainment; Wednesday. Set at Nevermore Academy, the show follows Wednesday Addams as she tries to solve a string of murders, while trying to survive both a prophecy and high school.

Rating: Wednesday is a mood.

Stranger Things

Is this a surprise to anyone? If you haven’t watched this future cult-classic then you must be living in the upside down. Taking a page out of sci-fi great James Cameron, this otherworldly saga follows a young group of friends, unbeknownst to the evil that hides in the sleepy town of Hawkins. Monsters – check, great character archs – check, guitarwielding bat fights -check!

Rating: 11/10 ;)

Supernatural

Oh Supernatural, how dear you are. A story as old as time; two brothers against the world. Sam and Dean, played by Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles, truly go through hell over this 15-season saga. From vampires and werewolves to angels and demons, Supernatural carves out its own mythos while using every lore and legend known to man. Mostly following a monster-of-the-week format, this is an elite level binge (especially if you can make it to the very end).

Rating: So good it’ll send you to super hell.

Riverdale

We’re not even going to try and justify this one, our editor told us that we needed another entry on this list to fill the page. If you want to feel better about yourself and everything going on in life, this show’s mere existence will do exactly that. Like a dog that just won’t die, this show has somehow made it to 7 excruciating seasons featuring murder mystery, magic, time travel and the multiverse (all in a small American town that needs to be nuked).

Rating: For those who want to watch the world burn.