Dircksey Vol 7 Ed 2

Your ECU

Dark stars, one line movie reviews, poems, cartoons

student magazine

OCTober 2021

Missed Opportunities...

Jobs, games, movies, Doughnuts

Dircksey editorial team Editor: Shaun Salmon dirckseyeditor@ecuguild.org.au Marketing & Promotions: Lauren Reed Deputy Editor: Elizabeth Harris

Contributing writers and artists: Seth Barnes Asha Burnett Jordan Davis Andrew Douglas Izzy French Dylan Gane Elizabeth Harris Jeremiah Jacob Perry Jones Violet K Taylor Kingston Alastair McLean Josiah D. McMeekin Charlotte Robinson Shaun Salmon

Cover photograph by Jordan Davis 17davj@gmail.com

Content warning Dircksey contains topics that can be confronting for readers. These topics include racism, homophobia, violence, blood, hateful language, death, animal cruelty and mental illness.

No individual trigger warnings are given in the pages of the magazine so, please take care.

The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the Dircksey Editor(s), subeditors, Edith Cowan University or the Edith Cowan University Student Guild. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Dircksey articles and other information are up-to-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication – but no responsibility can or will be taken by the above-mentioned entities if an issue of Dircksey has any errors or omissions contained herein.

Dircksey acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which this magazine was created, the Whadjuk Nyoongar people.

If you would like to contribute to Dircksey you can contact the editor at dirckseyeditor@ecuguild.org.au or via 0414 343 984 Printed by Quality Press

Contents

Missed Opportunities

Student study stress....................................................................................... pages 4–5 Dylan Gane Campus move update................................................................................... page 6 Shaun Salmon Cartoon............................................................................................................... page 7 Izzy French Games for gold: My first time as a paid dungeon master.............. pages 8–9 Elizabeth Harris Your dark stars................................................................................................. pages 10–11 Seth Barnes Being diagnosed with autism at 24......................................................... pages 12–13 Taylor Kingston Campus clobber............................................................................................... pages 14–16 Perry Jones D&d is therapy.................................................................................................. pages 18–19 Josiah D. McMeekin You’re not a chicken (so don’t marinate yourself)............................. page 19 Seth Barnes Hottest people alive....................................................................................... pages 20–21 Taylor Kingston Ms. Brontë and Dr Bush................................................................................ pages 22–23 Alastair McLean Choose your own adventure!..................................................................... pages 24–25 Izzy French Poetry: Unwell, unorthodox, unrequited.............................................. page 26 Asha Burnett Poetry: The answering machine will get it............................................ page 27 Elizabeth Harris Poetry: Donut van........................................................................................... page 28 Violet K UFOs: Are you a believer?............................................................................ page 29 Jeremiah Jacob Lights, camera, inaction! (Missed cinematic opportunities)........ pages 30–31 Andrew Douglas Why the events of First Blood were all Sheriff Teasle’s fault......... pages 32–33 Taylor Kingston Homage, parody, satire and action......................................................... pages 34–35 Josiah D. McMeekin Crystal ball review (Tolkien take-down)................................................ pages 36–37 Shaun Salmon Fire Emblem: Love, war and lesbians...................................................... pages 38–39 Elizabeth Harris The only movie reviews you will ever need.......................................... pages 40–41 Elizabeth Harris & friends The planet stupider........................................................................................ page 42 Shaun Salmon

October 2021 Dircksey 3

Student study stress University can be extremely stressful, especially when assessments and projects start to pile up. It is during these times we become overwhelmed, and it can feel like the whole world is collapsing in on us.

How do students cope during these times of stress?

I interviewed students about how they deal with the stresses which university throws at them, what advice they would give their younger selves if they could and also why uni students commonly leave their work until the last possible minute.

Many students said that prioritising activities such as going for walks, going to the gym, listening to music and relaxing with a good glass of wine or a movie is crucial for managing stress levels when times get busy.

One student I interviewed told me that when he takes a break and goes to the gym, he finds that it clears his mind and gets him in a Zen state.

Another student said, “I go to the gym to cope with the stress, it helps me to keep calm and then after I’m done,

4 Dircksey October 2021

Photomontage Shaun Salmon

Among the students that were interviewed, one of the most common issues that came up is the importance of setting time aside for yourself to do something which you enjoy instead of focusing on study all the time.

I feel ready to go back to the work which I was completing before.”

Other students I interviewed outlined different ways to cope with the stress, including trying to block it out and just focus on delivering a better project, even if it means accepting the penalty for submitting the assignment after the deadline.

One student I interviewed said he doesn’t cope with the stress at all, a statement which I can relate to, especially when my motivation is low at the end of semester.

I spoke with Helen Stain Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology at ECU about student stress. I asked her about how students can better manage the pressure

Dylan Gane on how students can stop their brains from exploding

which comes with university, why she believes students find studying more stressful towards the end of semester and whether she believes that alcohol can be helpful for relieving stress in the shortterm.

Professor Stain recommended that when managing study-related stress, students should be looking at the bigger picture.

External factors, such as relationships with family and friends as well as intimate relationships, can contribute to a build-up of stress so it is important to make sure you focus enought time on personal relationships.

In our conversation Professor Stain emphasised the importance of starting with the basics of stress management, such as making sure you have a good sleep routine in place and are not relying on UberEATS every night.

Helen spoke to me about how instead of getting delivery for dinner students should cook at home, even if it is a simple meal, as this communicates to your brain that you are looking after yourself.

Professor Stain suggested that students should seek solace in exercise and this echoes the sentiments of the students I interviewed.

Helen advised that students

should get out into nature and feel the wind on their skin. Sunshine, rain and the sound of the birds has a restorative effect on the body. These types of activities reduce stress because they lead you to look outwards rather than focusing on the contents of the head which may contain anxious thoughts.

Going out and having a good time is essential to the university experience, as it gives us a chance to relax and forget about the assessments we have due, even for just a few hours. Given how important this downtime is, I wondered whether the use of alcohol was a good way of relieving stress.

The students I asked about alcohol said that they believed that in the shortterm it can help a person de-stress, but if it becomes something that gets relied on then there could be problems.

Helen confirmed that students often report that they use alcohol and other drugs in order to manage the pressure which comes with studying. She told me that using alcohol and drugs in this way can often result in dependence which can easily become a much trickier problem then the stress itself.

us due to the stress of study, there are always things that we can do to relieve these feelings. Developing healthy habits such as a proper sleep and study routine, cooking for yourself and regular exercise, can all contribute to a reduction in our stress levels over the semester.

Although there are many tips for how to manage pressure, sometimes advice like this isn’t enough and we may need to see a professional to talk about our situation and share our feelings.

If the stress ever becomes too much, ECU Counseling services can provide judgement-free help and advice.

To book an appointment call: Joondalup Campus Ph: (61 8) 9370 6706 Mount Lawley Campus Ph: (61 8) 9370 6706 South West Campus Ph: (61 8) 9370 6706

Although at times it can feel like the world is closing in on

October 2021 Dircksey 5

Shaun Salmon on how ECU is responding to student concerns as they plan the City Campus

Campus move update: Bridge out of Dullsville or trophy university?

Federal MP Patrick Gorman recently voiced concerns that the new ECU City Campus will become a ‘trophy university’. Gorman’s critique is focused on study costs for arts courses and how the Morrison Government’s ‘Job ready’ reforms will affect the price of gaining degrees in the arts. Gorman reasons that ballooning fees will mean that study at ECU’s new metropolitan flagship will be reserved for the rich rather than the talented.

knowledge about how a building is actually used.

Despite the University’s understandable keenness to convince interested observers that their student engagement processes are genuine, the early signs are that ECU is responding to the concerns of students. For

Dircksey is understandably concerned about the issues Patrick Gorman raises but such factors are faced by students across the tertiary landscape and are not particular to ECU. I recently put some questions to Professor Visualisation supplied by ECU Rowena Harper, the lead at the Learning Futures for ECU’s University instance, Professor Harper of the Future program on offers that ECU, alongside the subject of the city the State Government and campus. I was interested to the City of Perth, “will ensure find out how the concerns the safety and security of and knowledge of current students, staff and visitors” ECU students is being at the new campus. Safety incorporated into the at the City Campus is a planning process for the new concern persistently raised by campus. current students, so Professor Harper’s commitment is There are many examples welcome. of buildings (in education and other sectors) that are Parking is another issue not fit-for-purpose because that comes up repeatedly architects and planners failed when current ECU students to base their decisions on are asked about the City 6 Dircksey October 2021

Campus. The new campus may well provide “significant environmental benefit” because students will use public transport to get to uni. Nevertheless, the question arises, how will students transport bulky, sensitive and expensive equipment? Sufficient short-term and delivery parking will be required.

Professor Harper states that a “team of expert consultants in traffic and logistics” will assess exactly how these needs can be met.

The City Campus solves a problem for the WA government and most of all the City of Perth. As Aja Styles’ WA Today article on Patrick Gorman’s critique of university fees describes matters, the State Government is relying on ECU’s City Campus to “resurrect” the troubled Yagan Square development. Both Yagan Square and the City Campus are attempts to join vibrant Northbridge to the dull heart of the City of Perth.

Whether ECU’s new campus can solve this problem is immaterial to the value and function of the new uni for students. The knowledge of current ECU students must be effectively incorporated into the planning of the City Campus, to ensure it is truly ‘fit-for-purpose’ and becomes the vibrant place of learning it needs to be.

By Izzy French

October 2021 Dircksey 7

ECU club dept.

Games For Gold: My First Time as a Paid Dungeon Master Three teens sit in a circle, sets of dice and iPads or laptops in front of them. I sit at the head of the small slightly wobbly dining room table, reading from a set book, yet mostly deviating. I begin my description:

my first ever Dungeons & Dragons session as a paid Dungeon Master. I ran a game of the starter set for The Lost Mines of Phandelver for a group of three 13 to14-yearold kids.

community. Does it turn a fun game between friends into a business? Do such transactions lose the spark of ‘what the game was meant to be?’ What does it say about someone who’s willing to

“You enter the town of Phandalin, after your travels on the road the town is a hopeful sight. It’s a little more run-down than you expected, however, and the empty streets give you cause for suspicion. As you walk down the road...”

“Is there a tavern?” The young girl playing a human sorceress looks at me expectantly.

“Yeah, I wanna fight someone!” The boy playing the elven barbarian grins across the table at the other boy playing a Fire Genasi warlock.

“Is it, um, like, in the fighting rules of taverns that you can use magic? ‘cause I have Burning Hands which would be kind of funny...”

I place my hands on my temples and give an exasperated sigh for effect, unable to hide my grin. “You want to commit arson?”

The three teens grin at one another. Vadariel, the Storm Sorceress replies “yes.”

A few weeks ago, I had the experience of running 8 Dircksey October 2021

Dice another day: Some vital D&D accessories

Firstly, I’ve never run a game for minors before. Secondly, I’ve never run a game where it was a business transaction rather than just a hangout between friends being silly and enjoying a story. I was being paid to run the game, a totally new experience for me.

Paid DMing, as it’s referred to, is a controversial subject in the tabletop gaming

stop running a game when they aren’t getting paid?

It’s fairly common to hear from tabletop gamers that these kinds of fun dice-rolling RPG’s are utterly addictive.

You spend hours and hours making up characters you’ll never play, you lament the fact you already want to start up yet another campaign despite already running one, and you constantly

Elizabeth Harris President of ECU D&D – Tabletop Society tells of orcish hack and slash for cash

fidget with world-generators looking for your next worldbuilding project.

When paid DMing comes into the mix, there’s often the question of power. If you end your game on a cliffhanger and your players need to fork out the cash to find out what happens in the next session is that extortion or just business?

Paid DMing divides the tabletop community. Some will say that running a game as a paid DM is unethical, potentially immoral, and sometimes outright exploitative. It’s a gaming method that can damage the players, create a notable power imbalance, and uses the addictive qualities of tabletop role-playing games against the players, for profit.

On the other side of the ledger, many people think that paid DMing is just business, a job opportunity in our community, a chance for people in creative fields to do what they love and earn

some money at the same time. Paid DMing creates an outreach for the tabletop community and expands the potential audience these games have.

There were some unexpected aspects to running my adventure. DMing as it turns out is an unintentional learning platform. A DM uses English and storytelling skills, to set the scene, draw players into the story and to create intense fight descriptions.

Studying fake maps requires and expands understanding of geography. All the dicerolling, adding up totals and working out percentages stretches the maths skills of both players and DM. Every now and then as I ran the game, I would be struck by the realisation of just how much power I had. Not only as a DM running a game for my players, with all the power over the world and its creations, but also over their time, over their enjoyment, over how long it went and how much effort I truly

wanted to put into a game which wasn’t for my friends.

In the end, I don’t think being paid ‘ruined the game’, instead it just became a different kind of game. It became more about the focus on creating an effective and enjoyable story. The players still goofed off and we all still had a laugh but it was a very different game from what I’d play with my own friends.

I think it’s a very personal choice to run games as a paid DM. I had a lot of fun with these kids, and I can’t wait to play again.

As Tarik the Barbarian asked me when betting on cards: “How much money is it to have fun?”

Want to be part of the ECU D&D – Tabletop Society? send them a message at: https://www.facebook.com/ecudndttrpg

October 2021 Dircksey 9

Your dark stars

Aries

Gemini

Leo

Oho-ho, that’s a tasty donut you’ve got there. Okay, slow down bud, you’re going to – oh? You’ve coughed up the message, “Wanna be a big shot?”

The salad crocodile (a crocodile with olives for eyes and lettuce for scales) kindly requests that you eat a vegetable or else he will hunt you down and eat you.

While you weren’t looking, it appears that WAAPA rat has broken into your home and stolen something important.

He says that he needs it for his new album.

Taurus

Cancer

Virgo

The answer you’ve been searching for can be found in a deciduous forest under the leaves of a spindly oak tree.

It might look like an acorn.

Listen closely. That cat that you think is saying “pet me” is actually saying “pet meat.”

Nourish the feline and it shall reward you.

What are you planning on doing with all of those rocks, eat them? Oh no, that’ll ruin your teeth! Get a friend to pre-chew them for you.

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Seth Barnes stares balefully at the night sky and makes his predictions

Libra

Sagittarius

Aquarius

The shadow of doom has become very attached to you lately. It wants to ask you if you’d like to see a movie with it.

I see travel in your future.

Have you considered astral projection? Let’s go to Lithuania and play some b-ball together.

Wow, you’ve been doing a great job lately! The Gnome Patrol and I recognise this and will reward you accordingly.

Scorpio

Capricorn

Pisces

The cracks in the ceiling of your local abandoned house are spelling out a message.

S…E…N…D……

C…U…B…E…S

With the first strike of the Vibra-Slap, something inside you will change. Is it for the better? Only time will tell.

Someone will appear to you in a dream and teach you an important life-lesson. Do not be frightened of their physical appearance.

October 2021 Dircksey 11

Being diagnosed with autism at 24: Now that’s what I call a big missed opportunity My name is Taylor, I go by TK. I’m 24, I’m autistic, and I’ve just been diagnosed. How did this happen, you ask?

Well, it mostly boils down to the ignorance of the world, including teachers, doctors, peers and, sadly, my parents (although I don’t blame them).

Specifically, I have ASD (autism spectrum disorder), but I am quite highfunctioning. After talking to me for five minutes it’s probably pretty obvious that something unusual is going on up there in my brain.

Young girls are harder to diagnose than young boys because we mimic others to seem ‘normal’. There needs to be a bigger focus on autistic kids that seem normal but really have different brains and needs.

I’d say my most identifiable traits are my lack of social skills and understanding of what’s appropriate, some areas of hygiene (sadly and shamefully), boundaries, trusting too easily and my willingness to share anything and everything about myself with anyone who asks.

I take pride in the fact that I don’t lie and that I’ll answer all questions. Except, of course, something that’s not my business to tell, like someone’s secret or bank account info or personal stuff.

That’s always sort of been

12 Dircksey October 2021

obvious to me but I’m still learning.

The biggest practical obstacle, I have to face daily, is my understanding of what people are saying and what they mean, including jokes and sarcasm and learning what’s appropriate. This is especially difficult as everyone has a different level of what they’re prepared to hear and share. It’s easy to be too trustworthy or gullible.

migraines, a kidney problem (which doesn’t really affect me anymore, but it still counts), and probably

I take what people say at face value. What they say is what they mean. If someone says they’re fine, they’re fine.

If someone says they’re not offended, then they’re not.

If someone says they don’t mind where we go for lunch, they don’t mind. You get the idea.

It doesn’t help that I also have ADHD. Both my ASD and ADHD give me lovely OCD symptoms. My OCD is connected with organisation; things being done a certain (and therefore the right) way.

I hate change. Whether it be a new bedspread (I’ve had the same design since at least 2012, I just keep buying the same ones), moving to a new house (I had a breakdown once), changing cars (pretty much had a breakdown as well) or plans for the day, regardless of if it’s in advance or right then and there.

I also have a mood disorder, anxiety, depression, chronic

The author with her Husky, Jack

something else that I’m missing.

So, how was my ASD missed?

Since I was born with a kidney problem, I was in hospital multiple times a year which was just a normal thing for me. I was never scared as that’s what I knew to be normal. I was probably 10

Taylor Kingston shares the story of how she discovered she was autistic

when I realised that kids don’t go to hospital all the time like I did. I was always a little ‘different’. I was a picky eater and got along better with adults than other children.

All things my parents just thought were me. Between the ages of seven and twelve was rough, as I was bullied so much at school that I have maybe half a dozen memories from those years, in terms of school at least.

Realising I have ASD made me understand, that’s probably why I was bullied. I always wondered because I knew I never did anything to wrong anyone, or anything to warrant bullying (not that it’s ever really warranted).

When my parents decided I was changing schools I had a full-on scream fest, which I never understood. But now I suppose it was just change. I said before I didn’t like change. After changing schools I got sick with what was thought to be chronic fatigue syndrome. Now we know it was probably just migraines and mental health. I missed most of Years Eight to Twelve. My worst attendance was Year Ten, at 30%. I still got As and Bs, so yeah… I never really made any friends or connections, which is the reason everyone thought I just sucked in social interactions. It probably didn’t help but it wasn’t the main reason.

My health has still been a struggle since I graduated from high school in 2014. I eventually went on to have anger-induced bulimia and a lovely almost-suicide due to accidentally overdosing on my bipolar meds (I don’t have bipolar).

Eventually, back in 2019 or so, a psychiatrist said I had ASD. I told my parents, but they thought I was just saying stuff. The psychiatrist never officially diagnosed me or even told my GP (good job).

It was only last year that I changed to a psychiatrist that specialises in ASD. I got assessed a few months ago and yes, I am autistic.

It is quite difficult having ASD because I have to use my imagination, which is something I really struggle with. Ask me what happens in every episode of Charmed (1998) and you’ll have your answer. Ask me to picture an elephant in my head, nope, that’s not gonna happen.

Uni is extremely difficult now since being accused of plagiarism (even though it was dismissed). I didn’t do it on purpose; it’s just how my brain works. It’s frustrating since I’ve been doing assignments the same way for over six years and it’s only just come up.

I got on the NDIS, which is a real sh*t show, and have started accessing things such

as a mentor to help me with organising my schedule, an OT to help with what I need (which honestly, I’m still confused about) and a speech pathologist to help with my tone and volume. I also attend an activity group for people with all different disabilities.

I’ve also started being a mentor at a high school (which I’m loving) which will continue to help me with boundaries; understanding what I can and can’t share with my mentee, and confidentiality (as I can’t tell anyone what my mentee tells me).

Overall, dealing with all my health issues has been an awfully long process.

Truthfully, I’m just so tired. I hate having to change the way I think and having to adapt to please other people.

Why can’t they adapt for me?

Why is it my chore to change?

It makes me sad to think about how my life might have turned out had I been diagnosed as a kid. Not only because of what I might have, but also what I wouldn’t: Most likely I wouldn’t have the friends I do, live where I live, or have gone on the trips I have. Basically everything would be different. And I don’t think I’m okay with that.

As I said, I don’t like change. ;P

October 2021 Dircksey 13

Campus clobber (volume 1: ECU Mount Lawley) Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic or moods influencing your wardrobe?

Terri-Anne Heighway (below)

I like to stay casual where I can. Baggy clothes etc

Style and comfort (hence flat shoes!)

Who are your style icons?

How did you create your look?

Adam Sandler.

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

The bodice was custommade by one of our Alumni fashion designer and artists, Kimberley Pace. It is handdyed and printed silk cotton fabric which has been handdraped onto the mannequin.

I’m wearing it inside-out as I prefer the pink tone. The trousers are Australian brand Cue. I don’t follow trends, so wearing unique designer garments is more my thing.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic, mood influencing your wardrobe?

Angus Falconer (above)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

Mostly comfort, with the bonus of, in my opinion, a cool op-shop jacket.

How did you create your look?

A friend with very good taste took me shopping. *Winks*

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My wardrobe is extremely varied to suit my mood. I get bored very easily and like to express myself through my clothing, so one day I’m a Kundalini Yogini in all white with prayer beads, the next day leathered up in black with killer heels. I’ve got LOTS of colour in my wardrobe as well.

Who are your style icons?

Myself of course! I don’t really follow or get obsessed with other people. If it’s favourite designers it would be Vivienne Westwood, A.F. Vandevorste, Alexander McQueen to name a few.

Perry Jones takes a sartorial sample of what students and staff are wearing and why Denise Pepper (below)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

I dress how I feel on the day, comfort is the top priority but style is also of importance when I get ready for the day. if I ride my bike to work then I dress to suit bike riding.

Who are your style icons?

I don’t have a style icon I like to create an eclectic style into my look and wear what makes me feel comfortable.

How did you create your look?

My look in this image is an old outfit I have not worn for many years, it spoke to me when I was planning what to wear that morning.

Chloe Coutinho (above)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

I think I’m dressing for style but ultimately I wear something that makes me feel comfortable and cute.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic or moods influencing your wardrobe?

As a fashion student, you understand the value of clothing and sustainability, which in turn made me do a lot of thrifting. I think this in its self has it’s own aesthetic and values, as you tend to choose items that you love rather than items that are trendy. I get a lot of style inspiration from Instagram and Pinterest where I follow a lot of creators with different styles ranging from Parisian to Hypebeast, I don’t think I really have a specific aesthetic.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic, mood influencing your wardrobe?

I am not inspired by any one influence but I do have some labels I go to when I am wanting something new.

I like to buy online as I hate shopping.

Chris Kueh (above)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

Comfort.

How did you create your look?

I look at myself in the mirror and make sure I don’t look silly in classes and meetings.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic, mood influencing your wardrobe?

Changes from time to time, but as I grow older its mainly to dress sensibly.

Who are your style icons?

Mainly 90’s rock guitarists crossed with Ralph Lauren.

Who are your style icons? @DevonleeCarlson, @edielibertyros & @Matildadjerf

Continues over October 2021 Dircksey 15

Campus clobber (continued) Sarah Young (below)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

I usually dress for style... I’m studying fashion design, so it’s what I enjoy.

How did you create your look?

I use a lot of layering, especially when it’s cold.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic or moods influencing your wardrobe?

I like dressing sustainably, so most of my wardrobe is thrifted which is really important to me.

Who are your style icons?

Isaac Huggins (above)

Are you currently dressing for style, utility or comfort?

Utility and comfort. Style is subjective, everyone’s got their own.

How did you create your look?

By leaving my clean clothes at home.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic or moods influencing your wardrobe?

One of my favourite style icons is Alexa Chung.

Emily Craig (above)

How did you create your look?

I love this dress that I’m wearing, it was such a steal, and the buttons, sleeves, linen is so cute. Every piece in my wardrobe is second-hand or sustainable, which makes me really excited when I go get something to wear... every piece is unique.

Do you have any particular style inspirations, aesthetic or moods influencing your wardrobe?

As long as I’ve got my Polo hat, I’m a happy man.

Depending on how I feel that day I will chuck it on and dress to the weather; jacket or tights. And always bomb accessories like some cool boots and simple jewellery.

Who are your style icons?

Who are your style icons?

Vince Vega and Jules Winfield.

My style icons are Kate Moss, Zoe Kravitz, Patti Smith and Lily Allen. They bring big energy!

16 Dircksey October 2021

October 2021 Dircksey 17

D&d is therapy – a joke until it is...

A conversation with Mike, the Nerd Therapist How does building an epic castle in Minecraft, bonding with your team in Pokémon, or rushing through round after round of Battle Royale in Fortnite help people deal with mental health and everyday struggles? What lessons are there in space operas like Star Wars or explorations of trauma using superheroes?

How does creating an original character who goes on epic fantasy adventures, pulls off high-stakes cyberpunk heists or solves a supernatural mystery involving eldritch horrors, have to do with growing as people and improving mental health?

I was fortunate enough to be able to sit down with, ECU alumni Mike, the Nerd Therapist to discuss and learn about how pop culture and tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs) feature in his job as a counsellor.

I was introduced to Mike through the GeekGuide and then heard him speak at Perth‘s annual speculative fiction convention, Swancon.

I wanted to learn more about Mike’s role in educating other counsellors and therapists in pop culture competence, and the ways he uses tabletop games to help people coping with mental health struggles.

There’s a joke that you can tell a lot about a person by what class they play in roleplaying games. Yours truly is a smart aleck encyclopaedia of all kinds of random facts... meaning Wizard. When I asked Mike what encouraged

18 Dircksey October 2021

him to become a counsellor, he told me about the hours he spent playing as a Paladin in World of Warcraft, a class designed to help and protect people. It’s clear through his work that Mike is very much a Paladin in real life.

An issue in therapy, that impacts children and young people, is the lack of understanding surrounding pop-culture and facets of it.

“In 2020 I began The Nerd Therapist project which hopes to bring nerd culture and therapy together to support people who strongly enjoy nerd culture and don’t feel heard by their typical therapist”, Mike told me.

Part of his role as The Nerd Therapist is teaching pop culture competence, which is also the name of his blog. The blog started off as a number of posts and articles on therapist groups explaining what certain games like Pokémon, Minecraft and Fortnite were, but has since evolved into a powerful teaching tool hosting articles that cover everything from Welcome to Nightvale to ‘The Blip’ from the MCU. The role that these articles play is twofold, firstly they help educate therapists and prevent uninformed views based on stereotypes that could lead to issues when trying to help people.

Secondly, a number of articles give potential ways therapists can employ certain themes or topics as a way to help explain concepts and create a bridge of understanding

Mike, the Nerd Therapist

between therapist and patient.

Mike told me how the idea of running D&D as therapy came from his time working at a primary school, when a number of students were interested in playing the game. Mike explained that there are a lot of different ttrpg games that can be used in his therepuetic approach.

He uses D&D because it’s the role-playing ‘flagship’. The first games he ran actually used a system called ‘No Thank You Evil’. A game that is far more rules-light and uses only six-sided dice. Games like this and others such as Masks or the new Avatar, the Last Airbender ttrpg, which are more rules-light are easier to learn, making them more accessible.

The sessions Mike runs are called Roll for Growth. So far he’s run such games primarily with adolescent autistic boys. What separates Roll for Growth from a normal game is that Mike sets clear goals when planning his games. He uses a mixture of game mechanics and

Josiah D. McMeekin, Vice President of the ECU tabletop role-playing club, talks to Mike the Nerd

house rules, or ‘homebrew’ with most monsters and all obstacles being homebrew.

He has a number of different campaigns for managing anxiety, depression, social challenges and other topics.

That focus, along with a focus on solving conflict without resorting to violence, and resisting creatures like the Phobovore, are rewarded in Roll to Growth sessions.

“In D&D, if you resist the charm of a succubus, it still does damage. In Roll for Growth sessions, if you successfully resist the psychic attack of a Phobovore, a fear vampire, you’ll deal damage to them.”

Since starting to run the games, Mike has seen growth in players prosocial engagement and improvements in anxietymanagement. Participants’ creative problem-solving skills in everyday life have also increased.

The Nerd Therapist places a strong emphasis on creative problem-solving and overcoming obstacles through imagination and thinking outside the box.

The response to Mike’s therapeutic games and the blog have been overwhelmingly positive.

Pop culture competence is something that is sorely

needed in the therapy and mental health sphere and using ttrpgs as part of therapy shows signs of being incredibly beneficial.

I, as a massive geek and nerd, am fascinated and super excited to see this work continue successfully and watch all the useful developments and benefits it will bring to so many people, young and old alike.

Mental Health Hotlines Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 LifeLine Australia: 13 11 14 Mike, The Nerd Therapist https://counsellingwithmike. com.au/blog/ https://popculturecompetence. wordpress.com

You’re not a chicken (so don’t marinate yourself!)

Missed opportunities can be difficult to deal with (no one likes dropping their soft-serve) but sometimes they happen as a form of protection: Dr Seth ‘Quack’ Barnes Maybe Mr. Whippy forgot to clean up after handling raw eggs and you would have gotten food poisoning, so you didn’t really miss out, did you? No, you didn’t. In fact, letting yourself marinate in the events of the past will only lead to guilt, pain and salmonella.

Of course, it’s important to not avoid the past, but you are allowed to, and encouraged to, not let those things surround you and sink into every pore of your flesh.

According to me and my fellow avian psychologist friends, some of the most difficult types of missed opportunities to deal with include job rejections and running out of sunflower seeds. If job rejections are getting you down, hear me out. Perhaps you’re not getting rejected because of your resumé, cover letter, or past work experience, but because those jobs aren’t the right ones for you. Likewise, perhaps you might be experiencing missed opportunities in a particular area of your life as a warning that says, “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, THIS THING ISN’T RIGHT FOR YOU!” I myself have had to adopt this attitude after getting rejected for numerous jobs because “you don’t actually have a doctorate and you’re a bird.”

My good friend Wren Vogel once said to me, “The early bird catches the worm, but

the bird that accidentally slept in gets the yummy scrummy crusts from school children’s sandwiches.” So go ahead and flap with the flow, reader. If things happen, they might be happening for a very tasty reason. Try not to worry about the things you missed out on.

Alright, at this point I want to come clean and admit that I’m a quack, you shouldn’t listen to anything I say, and my advice is probably a form of optimistic denial. BUT, if any of the things I’ve said ring true for you and you’re as cuckoo as I am, it’s entirely possible that listening to me could be of benefit. For the cheep price of $10 grand come on down to my clinic today at 22 Quack Way, Fowl Medical and get some tweetment. YES, we do bulk-bill.

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Hottest people alive: These magazine editions are ruining everyone’s self-esteem Magazines have been running special editions ranking people on their appearance for decades.

Since 1985 People has published a special edition depicting the Sexiest Man Alive. Maxim has done a similar thing since 2000, featuring women.

1990 was the first year People judged the 100 Most Beautiful People, which included men and women.

While these magazines may think it’s fun to rate 100 sexy and/or beautiful people every year this focus on appearances is clearly going to be a trigger for many children, teens, and men and women of all ages.

You cannot expect to make a list like this and think it will not impact people’s self-esteem and confidence.

When you have extremely attractive people (at least by Hollywood standards) there are bound to be people that now feel they are less than the ideal ‘beauty’ society wants them to be. These lists hurt. They may peak interest or be fascinating to some, but overall they most likely cause more harm than the possible positive impact they may have.

These special issues usually sell more copies than other editions of the magazines, just like when there is a major, and I mean extremely huge, scandal, or a celebrity

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wedding, a celebrity baby, or celebrity death.

It can be argued that this focus on hotness is all just a bit of fun and that it’s a trend

Throughout history standards of beauty in the west have changed. Here’s the basic desired ‘perfect’, ‘preferred’ looks for women: 1920s – flat chest, downplayed waist and a boyish figure 1930s –1950s – curves, hourglass figure, large breasts and a slim waste. A good example is Marilyn Monroe.

1960s – Long, slim legs, a thin body and adolescent physique

that’s been going on since the mid-1980s, but times have changed. Nowadays, people are more sensitive to the issues around beauty standards. In the celebrity world, I suppose we cannot expect people to change their set ideas.

Hollywood has changed its idea of beauty over the last century. However, it seems that since these lists began, sensitivity to people’s feelings and how it affects people has not. These lists don’t just have an effect on the general public, but also on the people featured, and not featured.

Some celebrities may feel honoured to be on the list, some may be upset that they did not make it higher up the list, or some, if they didn’t get on the list at all, may wonder why.

1980s – Athletic, slender but curvy, tall with toned arms.

During this decade there was a large upswing in anorexia.

1990s – Waifish (appearing thin or malnourished), extremely thin, having translucent skin, with an androgynous face. According to my research, an example is Kate Moss, whom I believe doesn’t really have an androgynous face, so all of these ‘prerequisites’ aren’t needed to be considered ‘beautiful’.

Taylor Kingston on the ranking of physical beauty and the damage it does

2000s – today – Flat stomach, ‘healthy’ skin, large breasts, large buttocks and a thigh gap. Sadly Kim Kardashian is the best example I found. She is probably one of the worst examples in terms of the influence she has. Really the whole Kardashian-Jenner clan suck on this issue.

The People, Sexiest Man Alive edition has featured actors, politicians and musicians.

The youngest man to be featured was 27 years old, the oldest was 59, and the average was 38, which is a lot older than similar issues from other magazines featuring only women. The 1993 edition featured the Sexiest Couple Alive, and in 2019 the magazine began evaluating the Cutest Baby Alive. So now, according to Hollywood, even babies have to feel selfconscious and worry about image, practically from the day they’re born. That is not going to go well for anyone.

People started assessing the 100 Most Beautiful People in 1990. Winners had an average age of 33 years old, with an age range of 23 to 74, which, to me, is probably the best.

(I did not count ages for the people who won multiple times, except for their first win). During the 32 years People has judged 29 women and three men as number one. Julia Roberts won five times between 1991 and

2017, suggesting that she is the most beautiful person spanning decades. Four others have won more than once. This list is definitely skewed towards women.

From 2004 to 2015 Esquire, predominantly a men’s magazine, ran editions featuring the Sexiest Women Alive. This idea eventually ended due to criticism as people thought the magazine was objectifying and completely focused on the male gaze. 12 women were featured consisting of 10 actresses, one actress/model and one singer. The age group was 21 to 40 years old, with an average age of 30.

Maxim is another magazine that does something similar to Esquire, but I personally feel like they do it better.

Since 2000 they have brought out a yearly Maxim, Hot 100 which is a list constituting of 100 women. So already they have a bigger range of what is ‘hot’ and they even state that everyone’s individual tastes differ widely. 2016 was the first edition to not have the list in order which I think is great progress.

Women featured are not just actresses, models and musicians, but also fashion

influencers, designers, groups of women, women of many different ethnicities (yes, I know it sucks that we have to congratulate this, but it is what it is), dancers, TV presenters, wrestlers and athletes as well as many more ‘kinds’ of women.

As People still list the number one pick, I believe they’re the worst publication not only for how their behaviour reflects on Hollywood reputations but also in terms of selfesteem. They reinforce a

problematic culture of beauty and the idea that appearance is the most important thing, the quality people are most valued for.

Overall, these ‘hotnessassessing magazine editions need to stop as physical appearance is not the only thing that matters.

Personality, inner confidence, humour, loyalties, beliefs, struggles, experiences, and everything in between is what matters, and it should be 98% of what matters to society.

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Ms Brontë & Dr Bush An intriguing press release led me to visit the lab of Dr Daniel Bush. I was the only journalist in Australia to interview Dr Bush.

All the press release said was that Bush had “made an incredible scientific breakthrough, something that no one ever thought would be possible.” This caught my interest and I had to investigate.

It took some time, but I found the secret lab, located at 6/9 Atwell Terrace, Greenmount.

I was immediately greeted by a big built man in a lab coat, Space Jam shirt and Adidas shorts. I suddenly didn’t feel too bad about my appearance. He told me he was Dr Daniel Bush. We shook hands and exchanged pleasantries and then he took me to his lab. Bush had an unsettling presence.

He spoke quite informally.

I didn’t expect this from a scientist.

After walking through the dark, dingy and dank lab, before my very eyes I saw her. She was deathly pale and lying down with a needle in her neck.

“Do you know who it is?” asked Dr Bush softly, yet excitedly.

“Of course,” I said knowing full well I didn’t. “Why don’t you say who it is, just for the interview?”

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Dr Bush contemplates the results of his experiment

“It is Emily Brontë!”

After a few seconds of silence, I escaped the shock I was frozen into.

We moved to what looked like a living room, I think the facilities were half lab and half home. Dr Bush put on an egg-timer and said “she’ll be done by then.” I didn’t entirely know what that meant. She’ll be done? What? Like a meal?

I was going to ask him some questions about it but I had an interview to do.

McLean: So, how did you get hold of the corpse of Emily Brontë?

Dr Bush: My great-great Grandfather was their nextdoor-neighbour and an avid fan. When he learnt that Emily had died from tuberculosis he bawled for three days straight. In a period of delusion and confusion he had an idea. He was able

to steal her body once the family had dealt with it. He froze it and has passed it down from generation to generation.

McLean: How on earth did he do this?

Dr Bush: He dunked her in a frozen river near his house.

England is pretty chilly place.

Every few days he’d check on her and she was a literal ice block. He tied the ice block she was trapped in to a rock at the bottom of the lake.

When my family migrated to Australia, it was a bloody nightmare. They brought their freezer with them to Australia, they chucked her in there and hoped for the best.

It did work out well for us in the end.

McLean: And now you’re bringing her back to life? Is that why you put out the press release?

Alastair McLean interviews a leading scientist on his groundbreaking research

Dr Bush: Exactly! I have decided I am gonna be the one who finally saves the genius mind of Ms. Brontë.

Tuberculosis has basically been cured so I will be able to nurse her back to perfect health.

At the time, I didn’t know if tuberculosis was cured yet.

I still don’t know because I forgot to look it up.

McLean: What is the motivation behind bringing her back?

Dr Bush: When she died, she was in the process of writing another novel. The manuscript was never found but people in her life said she was. My family has been obsessed with this unfinished and unknown manuscript.

When she is finally back in action, she WILL finish it.

He put a lot of emphasis on the ‘will’ and it was oddly aggressive.

The existence of the manuscript he is talking about was only a rumour. It has never been proven but Bush seemed to be dead-set on the idea that it was fact.

Dr. Bush: I also wanted this moment documented. So, everyone knew it was me, so I could prove them all wrong!

This got me interested again.

McLean: Who are you proving wrong?

Illustration Shaun Salmon

Dr. Bush: Okay, so, there was this person, the love of my life, they doubted my abilities to bring Emily back from the dead and thought I was crazy, they passed on me. Boy, they’re gonna be so embarrassed that they missed their opportunity to be with the man who brought Emily Brontë back to life!

McLean: I see… what happens if Emily doesn’t want to finish the novel?

Dr Bush: Please. She is such a gifted and talented writer.

The greatest one of all time.

That would be like me giving up science right now.

McLean: Are you calling yourself the greatest scientist ever?

Dr Bush: Yes. He did not hesitate with this.

McLean: But what if this unfinished manuscript doesn’t exist?

Dr Bush: I mean, it does but okay.

He never supplied any proof for this. Just because it existed at one point in time doesn’t mean it still does.

When we made it outside, we saw her. She was sprinting for her life. She didn’t look both ways. She ran headfirst into traffic. She was absolutely annihilated by a bus, she FLEW! The look on Dr Bush’s face was pure horror, he knew he wouldn’t be able to bring a puddle back to life.

I asked him if he was okay.

There was no answer. He walked over to what was left of Ms Brontë, and dropped to his knees.

“All these years, all the hard work my family did to give me this opportunity...” he sneered to himself. I could tell he was going to begin a villainous monologue.

“You did bring her back technically, that in itself is quite impressive.” I was trying to cheer him up.

“I missed the opportunity to document it, to show the world what I have done.

Now all I have is this bloody puddle!” He screeched at the top of his lungs.

I felt that if I stayed any longer I would not make it out. Whilst I was a little disappointed I didn’t interview Emily, I feel like what I got was good enough.

It was at this exact moment we heard a door slam, we both stood up and ran towards the sound. I saw Emily was gone.

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By Izzy French

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Poetry

Unwell, Unorthodox, Unrequited

Our creator dictates that humans love, mishap and tragedy chose you for me.

Soft curves with peach skin, I fell from above.

Out of His light, you my sanctuary.

You could not love me; I did not blame you.

Fate’s choice and His will ordained another.

His warm intimacy, free to pursue.

With him you plucked the apples all summer.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, namely paragraph two three five seven outlines, I am depraved, unorthodox, gravely “Contrary to the natural law”, malign.

I do not think of myself as unwell.

My heaven is thoughts of you, there I dwell.

Asha Burnett

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Illustration: Charlotte Robinson

The Answering Machine Will Get It

The phone rings Nobody is home Nobody to answer The phone rings One person is home Nobody to answer The phone rings The family is home Nobody to answer The phone rings ‘Leave a message at the end of the tone…’

Nobody to answer *beep* The phone rings “Hey… um, it’s $#^@*!&....”

Nobody to answer “I don’t know if you’re still interested in the position…”

The phone rings “But I could really use a friend…”

The phone rings “I know you’re not coming…I can stop calling…”

The phone rings You pick up Nobody replies.

Elizabeth Harris October 2021 Dircksey 27

Donut Van The Donut van (so called, spelled wrong) hangs Over me, A sugar sword.

Five types of sexy poison were free In the rain Last week.

But today The sun Has done Its winter stuff, The bouncy castle is full of air And the dough van calls The bounced and un-bounced alike For a five-buck fix.

Nutella, caramel, cream and jam.

Heart problems, Rudderless boyfriends, Stalled futures Replaced with icing Of butter and nut.

Business of addiction, models regret Buried in a bolus of dough.

Pillows of doubt Resurface, years later, Unfixable and far less sweet.

Violet K

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Jeremiah Jacob on the truth that’s out there

UFOs: Are you a believer?

Several weeks ago, with much anticipation, Netflix released a docu-series titled Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified. Meant to expose a cover up at the highest level, the documentary was sensationalised and felt like one of those television programs that would show blurry images of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.

Ultimately, it didn’t make a believer out of me. I was ready to believe and ready to accept that the governments of the world knew about something beyond the moon but alas, even Netflix could not change my intrinsic faith that there is nothing out there.

Could there be something out there? Like tall green aliens or one-eyed giants?

Maybe. I’m a self-confessed cynic about all things extraterrestrial. I suppose my problem with aliens is not so much that I can’t believe – in fact I really am open to believing – it’s just that every story about aliens is always fairly similar. Such stories always run along familiar lines: a rural road somewhere at night, Nevada, Nullarbor or Nambung. Bright lights far off in the distance. Low quality or no photographic or video evidence (even though everyone is running around with broadcast quality HD cameras). It’s always the same sort of vague story. It just doesn’t seem too convincing to me.

Do aliens not like visiting us in the middle of the afternoon on a sunny day?

Perth is fantastic on a spring arvo. Why not just cruise past our beaches slowly and check out the surf – I’m certain weary planetary travelers could take a moment to appreciate our coastline. Why not just say ‘g’day’? What’s wrong with saying hello at a university or somewhere somewhat science-y? Why always visit some hermit in a caravan park at 2am? Surely, a professor of neuroscience on a sunny afternoon is worth a visit.

Maybe I’m too far gone, part of a generation that has become desensitised and cynical. Maybe I need to have more faith. Faith that there is something beyond our world. But then again, that’s a bit of a scary thought, isn’t it? What if what is out there is substantially beyond our comprehension? What if what is out there are beings that are the size of a 50-storey building? What if they breathe fire? What if they’d drink our ocean? The sheer terror of ‘what if’ is maybe why my millennial brain prefers to dismiss what I don’t know and opt for what is a little safer.

So Netflix, no, you did not succeed: I don’t believe in aliens. Or at least I know that I don’t want to. What about you? Are you a believer?

Stop press... US UFO report In the US on June 25th the Office of the Director of National Intelligence released its much anticipated report to Congress on UFOs, now re-branded as UAP, or unidentified aerial phenomena.

Disappointing many alien enthusiasts, the report does not support the idea that UFOs are alien in origin. On the other hand, the report concludes that UAPs present a safety of flight issue and possibly threaten US national security.

The report suggests that some UAPs may be technologies deployed by China, Russia and other nations, and states that during 18 incidents UAPs displayed “unusual movement patterns or flight characteristics”.

The possibility that the governments of China, Russia (or for that matter the US, Australia or Transnistria) have covertly acquired freakishly advanced flight technology is more disturbing than the possibility of aliens so this report is both disturbing and a letdown.

There is also the possibility that the report contains wilful inaccuracy.

To suggest such a thing amounts to asserting that there is some sort of conspiracy. Either there are many fake stories about alien contact, or many fake debunkings of alien contact stories. Take your pick. Or sit on the fence along with the Office of the Director of National Intelligence.

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Reviews

Lights, camera, inaction!

(Missed cinematic opportunities) Feature films have long been business ventures requiring much capital investment. In addition, they can involve the egos of temperamental actors and demanding, even perfectionist, directors. These factors alone can adversely affect the fate of any major production at any stage, even to the point of stopping it altogether.

The history of the movies is filled with productions that never made it to commercial release. From the days of the silent movie to the 21st century there are many films which were only partially completed or remain unfinished.

While financial difficulties are often a primary reason for non-completion, the other major factor is the death of the lead actor. When screen goddess Marilyn Monroe died she left Something’s Got to Give (1962) unfinished.

Not enough of the script had been shot to complete the film so the few completed scenes were left for decades in a nondescript warehouse.

The death of a lead actor during production does not always result in a failed movie. The premature deaths of Heath Ledger and Brandon Lee while they were filming left enough footage for their movies to be completed and released commercially.

The script of Ledger’s final movie The Imaginarium of

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Charles Laughton and friends on the set of I Claudius

Dr Parnassus (2009) had to be significantly modified to accommodate his death, which occurred after about a third of the script had been shot. When Brandon Lee died all but a few scenes of The Crow (1993) were in the can and the film was finished using special effects.

Sometimes a film can be left for years and then edited together using voice-overs, as was the case with River Phoenix’ final movie, Dark Blood. The incomplete footage was cobbled together into a semi-complete work that was presented at a Dutch film festival 19 years after the project was shelved.

A star’s vanity can be equally damaging to a project. Screen diva Bette Davis walked off the set of what would have been her final film, Wicked Stepmother (1989), after a week of filming because she could not handle how she looked in the rushes. So little of the script had been filmed that the director had to cast another, much younger actress in the lead, wrecking the story’s continuity. The final patchy, incoherent result was released to video rather than in movie theatres.

Financial difficulties have ended films mid production going back to the days of silent movies. A classic example is Gloria Swanson’s

Andrew Douglas on the greatest stories never told (on screen)

would-be epic Queen Kelly (1928). The excessive demands of director Erich von Stroheim created such cost overruns that the production was shut down. The timing of the production was inauspicious anyway, the advent of talking pictures meant that the footage already shot was unlikely to be commercially viable. Another issue with Queen Kelly was potential censorship problems. It is doubtful that scenes depicting a brothel would have been permitted for mainstream audiences in the 1920s.

Another notable example of an unfinished film is the first attempt to adapt Robert Graves’ tale of imperial Roman intrigue, I Claudius. In 1937 Hollywood director Joseph von Sternberg began production in London. The all-star cast included Charles Laughton in the title role.

been temporarily admitted to the psychiatric ward of a major hospital following an emotional melt down, apparently brought on by the entire ordeal.

Fortunately not all unfinished films have been completely lost. Occasionally some

Gloria Swanson

About half-way through filming the production was shut down and never resumed. Various reasons for the shut-down have been put forward. Perhaps a clash between director and lead actor was the problem.

Less publicised was the fact that von Sternberg had

of the remaining footage finds its way into other films. Sometimes a failed film-project is resurrected and becomes part of a documentary. Footage from Terry Gilliam’s unfinished, The Man who Killed Don Quixote (1999) appears in the documentary Lost in La Mancha (2002). Another

Johnny Depp feature Divine Rapture (1995), in which he was to co-star with Marlon Brando, was never completed. A documentary about this failed project entitled Ballybrando (2009) includes some of the original footage.

The footage from Marilyn Monroe’s Something’s Got to Give formed part of a television documentary and the few completed scenes are available on the internet. Similarly, the edited scenes of I Claudius were gathered together in a BBC TV documentary The Epic that Never Was. What remains of the existing footage reveals that it might have become a screen classic.

Even the ill-fated Queen Kelly was eventually resurrected, more than half a century after it was abandoned. Using still photos, intertitles and the few completed scenes, the more controversial parts of the story were patched together. These resurrected projects offer a glimpse of the unrealised potential, of what might have been and thus are, especially for movie buffs, a fascinating insight into these unfortunate missed opportunities.

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Review

Why the events of First Blood were all Sheriff Teasle’s fault A quick note: while it was originally called First Blood, it’s usually called Rambo: First Blood nowadays but I will be referring to it as First Blood or FB. If you haven’t seen First Blood, then I need you to go watch it right now. Not only so you understand this article, but also because it’s a bomb movie. If you have seen it, well done, we can now be friends.

A quick summary: this 1982 classic, starring my boy Sylvester Stallone is the first of a movie franchise now spanning three decades.

It’s the story of John Rambo. A Vietnam war veteran wandering through the town of Hope, Washington, USA, after finding out the last surviving soldier from his squadron died.

That’s a fun story: the Agent Orange used in Vietnam gave him cancer, so the war killed him in a totally different way. That’s sad. It probably happened in real life. And he was basically the only family Rambo had left. Anyway Rambo is harassed, illegally and immorally arrested for things he didn’t do by the horrible Sheriff Teasle, and then basically forced to fight a bunch of dudes in the forest for the freedom that is rightfully his.

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Now let’s get started on why the events of FB, and every movie that follows, are all Sheriff Teasle’s fault.

All Rambo wanted to do after finding out his friend died was find a place in town to eat and probably stay the night. As soon as Teasle sees him, he ‘offers’ to give him a ride out of town and suggests that he shouldn’t

be displaying the U.S. flag on his jacket. In the car, Rambo asks why he has to leave, to which Teasle follows up with something like “This is a small town. We don’t want your kind here.” Teasle drops him off at the edge of town and drives away. Rambo turns around and heads right back into town. Personally, I would’ve waited until I was out of Teasle’s sight.

That’s when Teasle throws him against the hood of his squad car and arrests him for vagrancy and resisting

arrest, neither of which were justified.

After being harassed, arrested and forcibly hosed down, they try to shave him with a blade which gives him severe and obvious PTSD from his time in ‘Nam. That’s when he fights his way out of the jail and runs to the forest where the bulk of the movie goes down.

I want to point out that Rambo does not kill anyone. The only person who gets killed does so because they are dumb and trying to kill Rambo (when the cops have been ordered to not kill him) by machine-gun from a helicopter. Rambo rightfully defends himself and throws a rock at the helicopter, leading the dumb cop to slip and fall.

After this Rambo is willing to turn himself in but just wants to leave town, Teasle refuses. After Rambo says, “but I didn’t do anything.” That’s basically when the shooting happens and Rambo goes, well, ‘full-on Rambo.’

Also, his knife that has a compass on the end of it with matchsticks inside the handle is definitely one of the best action movie props of alltime.

The end scene where Rambo breaks down and gives

Taylor Kingston on the butterfly effect as applied to Hollywood blockbusters

a monologue describing the time his friend opened a shoe-shining box (a kid wanted to give him a shoeshine) and it blew up leaving bits and pieces all over him. He goes into how people spat on him and called him ‘baby killer’ when he got home from the war. He feels betrayed by his country; the country he loves and fought for, and rightfully so.

Rambo doesn’t get treated the way he should’ve and

sadly, a lot of what he went through happened to tens of thousands of people... minus the forest fight in Washington state, of course.

Essentially, if Teasle had let Rambo get some food in town and leave the next day, nothing would’ve ever happened. Rambo is a good guy with a tragic mental illness which he acquired fighting for his country.

Withou Teasle’s action that cop wouldn’t have died and the people throughout the next four movies wouldn’t have died. Although that does mean that the baddies would still be bad and alive and kicking. But that doesn’t make what Teasle did right.

And that’s why the events of First Blood were all Sheriff Teasle’s fault.

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Reviews

Homage, parody, satire and action: The bloody love letter to superheroes that is Invincible Invincible is a comic book series that ran from 2003 to 2018. It was written by Robert Kirkman (who also penned the comic The Walking Dead) illustrated by Cory Walker and Ryan Ottley and published by Image Comics.

The series follows Mark Grayson who becomes the titular superhero. His father Nolan is the hero OmniMan, a Viltrumite alien from another world. Mark inherits his father’s powers after turning 17 and sets out to become a hero. The series follows Mark’s life as he learns to use his powers, balance his secret identity and his work with government agencies protecting the world.

The comic does this while satirising superhero tropes and storylines. Invincible isn’t the first comic to put a twist on superheroes, so what makes it standout from comics like The Boys? Well, Invincible is also a love letter in comic book form to classic superhero stories.

It’s clear from the start that Invincible with its bright colours, fun characters and enrapturing story, that Kirkman and his co-creators love superheroes. They obviously wanted to write something that showed that love, but also put a satiric spin on it.

The comic is notorious for scenes of incredibly graphic

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and bloody violence. This may seem out of place alongside the bright colours and often light-hearted tone.

Yet the comic is filled with meta-jokes (see literally any scene in the comic book shop) and commentary on comic book culture. The comic makes a statement on how many western comics are okay with incredible amounts of violence, but are vehemently opposed to covering topics such as sex.

It’s worth noting that the violence in Invincible is never glorified, nor is it used as spectacle, it is used for impact. We’re meant to be shocked and in the world of Invincible it works, adding a depth, richness and upping the stakes.

Amazon Prime’s 2021 adaptation of Invincible was something I had been eagerly anticipating since its announcement. The fact that Robert Kirkman had signed on as a producer and was writing several episodes gave me a lot of hope. It didn’t disappoint. The show had a stellar cast including but definitely not limited to Steven Yuen, in the title role, and J.K. Simmons as OmniMan. Both were perfectly cast.

The art style of Amazon’s Invincible pays homage to animated superhero shows like Justice League Unlimited, Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Batman Beyond.

The show brought back a lot of childhood memories. The bright colours made for a nice departure from the more bleak and de-saturated superhero media that has grown popular in the mainstream in the past few years.

The show knows that it can’t satirise superhero comics, and doesn’t try too. Rather it aims to be the same loving yet satirical homage to streaming and TV superheroes, that the comic was for superhero comics.

Josiah D. McMeekin compares and contrasts comic and TV versions of Invincible

Something I appreciated about the violence in Invincible was that, while excessive, it’s never meant to be a spectacle, rather it is used for impact. You feel uncomfortable, unsettled and sometimes horrified. The show never revels in violence the way The Boys or Deadpool does.

The Invincible animation isn’t perfect, the bright colours and awesome soundtrack don’t hide the fact that Amazon clearly cut back on the animation budget. A number of flight and fight sequences trigger a drop in quality or needlessly use CGI models to ‘fill in’ crowds.

The Amazon Invincible differs from the comic by making William openly gay from the start. In the Amazon version Mark’s first girlfriend, Amber, is black. These changes do lead to some unfortunate stereotyping on occasions, but, for the most part they are are drastic improvements on the comic book. Mark’s mum, Debbie (voiced by the amazing Sandra Oh), plays a much more key role and has her own character arc. The Amazon Invincible also fleshes out its world and improves on its characterisation and story in ways the comic didn’t.

Overall, Invincible, in both

Invincible (comic book): 8.5/10

comic book and animated show format is something I recommend to people who have been fans of comic books for years, or people who are looking to dip their toes into this genre.

It’s not perfect in either format, but the story is fun and engrossing and the characters are well rounded.

Both versions of Invincible will entertain you and deliver an incredible story that will stick with you long after you’ve finished watching or reading.

Invincible (TV show): 8.5/10

Queens of Jerusalem: The women who dared to rule Katherine Pangonis, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, London, 2021.

This is a groundbreaking academic work on a rarely researched phenomenon: female monarchs, specifically queens-regnant, in the medieval period. Still rarer is the fact that it examines the female rulers in the crusader states of the Middle East from the twelfth century. Ostensibly, a work

on the forgotten rulers of long-vanished kingdoms nine centuries ago, might not seem all that appealing to the contemporary reader. However, it covers much new ground in examining a period and personalities who have long been neglected by conventional academics and even their own contemporaries: Mediaeval chroniclers of history were all male and devoted their histories almost exclusively to male

rulers. Women, even queens regnant, tended to be given short shrift or even overlooked altogether.

This seminal work goes some way to redressing this longstanding historical bias. It acquaints the reader with historical characters who are largely unknown.

As academic research, it provides a more balanced view of this period by compensating for the distortions, biases and oversights of previous chronicles and historians.

Andrew Douglas October 2021 Dircksey 35

Review

Lord of the Rings TV series: An opportunity that will miss by a millenium or two A new prequel to the Lord of the Rings will begin airing in 2022. The show, set a few thousand years before the events of the noughties Ring movies, will follow a vast ensemble cast as they confront the long feared re-emergence of, yes, you guessed it, Sauron.

Sauron is a minor god and rather long lived. He’s been bothering people for thousands of years.

Apart from the Dark Lord, there are other characters who featured in Jackson’s movies who will reappear in the new show, although played by fresh new actors (because they are thousands of years younger). Galadriel the naughty elf, along with Aragorn, the long suffering ranger, will feature. As yet there is no word on Elrond although he is nearly as old as Galadriel so he may well pop up and be all pompous and prophetic.

I have two problems with the new TV series but, before I go into them I need first invent a derogatory name for it. I dub it The Sinking Franchise – a long expected sequel.

So, then what are my issues with The Sinking Franchise?

My central problem is that they have picked a very boring bit of Tolkien to adapt.

The best bits (that they haven’t already turned into films) are set in the First Age,

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thousands of years before The Sinking Franchise. This older material, which comes from The Silmarillion and various volumes of lost tales, deals mostly with the elves along with a few humans and a smattering of dwarves.

Three haughty high elves (Vanyar)

Admittedly ,this material would be extremely hard to make into TV or film because of the scale.

All the elves in The Silmarillion are at least as godlike as Galadriel and the events are more dramatic and spread out over hundreds of years.

They could have told the tale of the Kin-slaying at Alqualondë. For lo, there was a time long, long ago when the deep elves (the ones who like philosophy and Leonard Cohen) rebelled. The only way they could escape the Blessed Realm was to steal the beautiful swan ships of the sea elves. The sea elves weren’t into the rebellion so the naughty deep elves

killed them by the truckload, stole their ships and escaped.

When they reached middle earth they burnt and destroyed the beautiful swan ships and pissed off.

The kin-slaying is only one example of the juicy melodramatic orgy of elven violence and dismay on offer in The Silmarilion, but no, instead they have picked the Second Age, which is utterly dull. Tolkien based all his work on various European myths and the Isle of Numenor, which will undoubtedly feature in The Sinking Franchise, (spoiler alert) eventually sinks into the sea because of the arrogant faithlessness of its people.

Its all a bit too much like the myth of Atlantis for my liking.

It is unlikely that The Sinking Franchise, will sink despite my pre-emptive dissing, given the vast amounts of money being spent. Nevertheless, the makers of this latest chunk of the Tolkien universe have missed the juicy bits by millennia.

A sea elf (Teleri) and duck (Qá)

Crystal ball reviews: Opinionated, preemptive take-downs of yet to be released cultural artifacts, based on hearsay and scant evidence.

This edition, Shaun Salmon considers yet more Tolkien product

Ages of Middle Earth comparison chart 1st age

2nd age

3rd age

Lots of gods manifesting, making stuff (earth, mountains, glowing trees etc)

Really stupid character names such as: Ar Gimelglossezattar

Too many hobbits

Elves turning into birds, stars, dust etc

Too many noble rangers Too much sailing

Naughty elves

Too many magic rings

Lots of juicy elf-on-elf violence

Not enough elves

Gigantic malevolent, jewelery-eating spider-thing Only a few decent female characters: Luthien, Galadriel, Morwen and gigantic malevolent spider-thing

Islands moving about, sinking etc Dragons that can fly Giant, talking eagles that always swoop down and fix up tricky situations

One dragon, that can’t fly but that is really big, smart and evil

Virtually no female characters of note except possibly Galadriel

Incest (it was the dragon’s fault)

5/10

Not enough elves Cheerful dwarves Dragons that can fly More magic rings than is absolutely necessary Giant, talking eagles that always swoop down and fix up tricky situations Talking trees (I know they’re not really trees) Colour-coded wizards Bad hobbit poetry Super-butch orcs Character development (hobbits only)

Massive fights

Largish malevolent spiders

No hobbits (yay!)

Very few female characters of note: Galadriel (again) Eowyn, the woman who sells beer in the hobbit pub, A largish malevolent spider, Arwyn

A refreshing absence of magic rings Giant, talking eagles that always swoop down and fix up tricky situations Characters with too many names: Turin AKA, Thaliorodrin, Neithan, Agarwaen, Thurin, Adanedhel, Mormegil, Wildman of the Woods, Turambar

Lashings of undead Riddles

4/10 A deep elf (Noldor) lusting after a holy jewel (Silmaril)

7/10 October 2021 Dircksey 37

Review

Fire Emblem: Love, war and lesbians When Nintendo’s Fire Emblem: Three Houses was released last year I was excited to see what this new release would bring.

I’d heard that it would feature a lot of branching choices, like Fire Emblem: Fates, and that it would feature one of the largest character casts in the series. So, when a friend told me that it was also supposed to feature a large amount of LGBT+ romance options for protagonists, I knew I’d be hooked.

Now, I’m not an expert on the series. I’m a simple bisexual woman who enjoys the game’s art style and giving all of my characters large axes to wield. The first Fire Emblem game I’d ever played was Fates, back in 2016, and I’ve heard all about Awakening despite never playing it. I’m certainly no expert on the lore, or the multiverse theory, or how all of the timelines are supposed to match up or work but I am very invested in the games’ support system.

For anyone unfamiliar, Fire Emblem is Nintendo’s turnbased fantasy war strategy game. You go through various story beats – usually as an unnamed, mysterious protagonist whose gender you can choose. The protagonist typically has some form of amnesia or an ambiguous past, and throughout the game their story gets slowly revealed.

The story is broken up by war

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tactics gameplay. Inevitably these games will take place during a war of some sort (it is a war game after all), so you pick units made up of friends, allies and family and you go into battle, slaughtering the enemy with cool weapons and interesting moves.

Selecting battle-classes to give your allies the bestlooking outfit.

If you’re like me, Fire Emblem is not a war tactics game, it’s a dating simulator. One of the notable aspects of the series is the support system. If you pair two particular people to fight beside one another during the battle sequences, this will raise their support level with each other. Support rankings go from C to A tier, and up to S tier, if two characters are romanceable together.

In Fates there was only one queer option per gender for the protagonist. If your protagonist was male, you could romance Niles, the edgy rogue pirate who shouldn’t be trusted. If your protagonist was female you had Rhajat, the dark sorceress who seems weirdly obsessed with the protagonist, and almost stalker-ish. Naturally there were also romanceable options for straight protagonists, but as far as queer representation goes it was pretty abysmal.

Three Houses, however, tells a different story. If you play as a

Ashe

female protagonist you have the options of romancing five different women to create lesbian love stories: Edelgard, heir to the Hresvelg empire; Dorothea, common opera girl looking for a someone with a heart of gold; Mercedes, a sweet noble girl looking to escape her home life; Rhea, the archbishop of the Garreg Mach Monastary, and; Sothis, the childlike god who lives in

Dorothea

Elizabeth Harris reads some diversity into Fire Emblem

your head (yeah, it’s weird).

If you intend to play as a male protagonist, you have only one gay romance option: Lindhart, an introverted, constantly tired bookworm mage who hates doing any kind of work. Technically, if you want to count the Ashen Wolves DLC, you gain Yuri as a gay romance option, but that really all depends on whether you want to pay for your queer content.

Naturally, this imbalance hasn’t gone down super well with the queer supporters of Fire Emblem.

The update having more lesbian romance options is an improvement, but it can be seen as a fetishisation of lesbianism rather than actual representation, when compared with the single gay option available to queer folks who want to romance male partners.

I love Three Houses and I love the support system and the many women I’ve been given the chance to romance, much to my boyfriend’s amusement, but there is still a sense that, given the amount of characters Nintendo had to work with, they should have done better.

I’ll still wait for the next installment and I look forward to playing it. My hope is that Nintendo might learn from this missed opportunity and give their queer fans the representation they deserve and the ability to romance

who they want. Until then, I’ll be happy with my bisexual idea of Claude, chasing after Dorothea, and giving my protagonist the biggest axe I can find.

Sylvain

Claude

The Fire Emblem community has taken upon itself, like many fandoms, to assign queer readings of characters and ‘read them’ so they fit player needs. A lot of people tend to see Felix and Claude, two men with very flamboyant attitudes and an interest in fashion as either bisexual or gay. Sylvain, a notable playboy, is often read as leaning pansexual with his interests. Ashe and Dimitri are often placed somewhere on the queer spectrum, and Dedue is often depicted as asexual.

October 2021 Dircksey 39

Review

The only movie reviews you will ever need (if you are a cynic with a short attention span) Star Wars:

Incest in space, with glow sticks.

Legally Blonde:

Girly-girl feminist wins law school AND a love interest

The Social Network:

Mark Zuckerburg is an annoying jerk for two hours and a brilliant genius for one minute

Back to the Future:

A son’s journey to not kiss his mother

Bee Movie:

A bee and a human fall in love and everyone is more concerned about the societal implications than the bestiality

Harry Potter franchise:

Seven movies with a bland protagonist, superior best friends, and a school in need of OSHA

The Princess Bride:

What every Dungeons and Dragons adventure is like

The Lord of The Rings and Hobbit trilogies:

What every Dungeons and Dragons adventure wishes it was like

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Elizabeth Harris & friends give short shrift to some iconic movies

Birth of a Nation: Racism the movie

Paddington 2:

Talking bear goes to jail

Avengers, Endgame:

Changing the rules of timetravel to suit a story nobody wanted

Blade Runner:

Existentialism with robots

Alien:

Gastro in space

Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror One demon in search of a manicure

The Sound of Music:

Mary Poppins outwits Nazis with singing

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood:

Quentin Tarantino’s foot fetish strikes again

October 2021 Dircksey 41

A cautionary tale from the editor: A missed opportunity that still makes him cringe decades later

The Planet Stupider When I was young and far stupider than I am today I wanted to be a cartoonist.

The world I grew up in was filled with newspapers and magazines and they were all filled with cartoons. It was not unreasonable for me to imagine a career as a cartoonist but the industry changed. We can blame Rupert Murdoch and Milton Friedman for this, although I can’t be bothered to explain how or why.

As the cartoon editor of the New Yorker described matters, in the 1970s various cartoonists would take their weekly output round the offices of newspapers and periodicals in New York. They finished at The Saturday Evening Post (because they laid on doughnuts).

Cartoonists could make a decent living from their sales. The world has changed since then. Of that New York marketplace only The New Yorker still publishes cartoons.

The situation in Australia is similarly dire.

In the two-thousands I approached an eastern states newspaper and asked them to consider my cartoon strip for publication. The editor’s response was that when their current cartoonist died they might consider my work.

The job of cartoonist has become much rarer and less well paid as time has passed which makes the following

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story even more appalling than it might otherwise be. In the 1980s, when I was a loudbrained undergrad I took my cartoon folio to Michael Dwyer, then editor of X-Press.

At the time X-Press was quite different to its current incarnation: Editorial content, interesting articles; it was like a weekly newspaper for people who liked music.

Dwyer, to his eternal credit, said that he would publish my work but that he could only pay me $35 a week.

Let us pause here and consider the cost of living in 80s Australia. A kilo of cheese was $4. In fact I’m fairly sure I could buy food that would last a week for about $20...

Certainly my rent in 1987 was $12.50 per week (there was no hot water in the kitchen but sea views, if you craned your neck).

Girded with this financial context we will return now to the bustling X-Press offices and, pausing for effect, examine my pithy and clinically insane response to Mr Dwyer’s magnanimous offer. “That’s not enough”, I said and strode manfully from the office. This, behaviour although undoubtedly self-inflicted is an example of a missed opportunity.

Two questions arise. Firstly, why did I say such a thing?

Secondly, has my curious derangement held me back as a cartoonist?

It is certainly possible that fear caused me to refuse the gig. If this is the case then I was unable to take the job and no opportunity was missed. This scenario is quite likely. My youth was filled with instances of me using intellectual bullshit to hide my fear, especially from myself.

Did my refusal of a weekly cartooning gig inhibit my so-called ‘career’? This is a hard question to answer. I have worked as a cartoonist since... You never really know.

Yet, there is no one-to-one correspondence between the chances we get in life and the places they lead.

Perhaps openness to life is valuable and, for those thus blessed or aware, opportunity may often knock. Maybe the lesson here is that when opportunities come, a leap into the dark (even if you are scared) is always a good move. As Syd Barrett once said, possibly misquoting the Tao Te Ching, “Action brings good fortune.”