GSM ed. 2 vol. 4 "Pleasure"

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Content Editor: Tom Reynolds editor.gsm@gmail.com GSM - ECU 2 Bradford Street Mount Lawley WA 6050 Cover: Jessica Paterson Design: Tom Reynolds

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the Editor, ECU Student Guild or the Advertisers. GSM is editorially independent.

The Editor reserves the right to make changes to material as required. GSM reserves the right to republish material.

Contributors retain all other rights for resale and republication.

Psst! Want to do a review? Contact us!

Arts: culture.editor.gsm@gmail.com Books: Asten Nunn books.editor.gsm@gmail.com Film: Asten Nunn film.editor.gsm@gmail.com Games: Aron Shick games.editor.gsm@gmail.com Music: Madi McKenzie music.editor.gsm@gmail.com

Social Events!

As a Guild we have a social council, chaired by Shufaa Athman, working towards great events for students on and off campus.

There are also many clubs affiliated with the Guild that are open to all students. The key event to watch out for this semester is the International Food Festival – 18th April 2013. If you are interested in being involved contact Shufaa Athman on social@ecuguild.org.au The Guild is going Green!

Right now we are enquiring about how the ECU Guild, students and the University can reduce our impact on the environment.

Taking care of our environment means also taking care of people and empowering the relationship people have with the natural world. If this is something you want to contribute to or work with us please contact me on president@ecuguild.org.au First Three Months!

I would like to share with you what a privilege it has been to be the President of the Edith Cowan University Student Guild. I walked into the ECU Guild with very little idea of what to really expect. I had never participated or been a part of a student organisation before. The past three months have been some of the most challenging and best times of my life. This year the ECU Student Guild is filled with your passionate and lively representatives that would just about do anything to make a difference to others. Together, we are beginning to discover what it takes to represent students, create great events and provide much needed services. I appreciate and love their commitment and dedication to students.

The University!

One of the greatest discoveries of being Guild President was the passion and pride that is present amongst the senior leaders of this University. Often, as students, we do not see or appreciate the work that happens behind the scenes at the University. What I have experienced is a team of dedicated leaders, genuinely, there to ensure that ECU really delivers on what is of interest to its students.

As students, we also do not realize that our opinions and experiences are valued. The University has many different ways in which students can share this with them. I encourage all students who have ideas they wish to contribute to the workability or success of the University to email me directly to found out how they can have their views heard or so I can pass your views and experiences on!

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One way you can participate in this enquiry is through the Generation Waking Up workshops we will be running on campus over the duration of the year. Generation Waking Up is designed to empower young people to stand up for our future. These workshops were created in collaboration between the Achuar people, an intact indigenous dream culture based in the heart of the Amazon Rainforest and a groups of westerners, to create ways in which we can work together to create a sustainable, just and thriving world. It is now a part of a global movement for change!

Alumni!

You might be interested to know that even once you graduate, ECU is keen to stay in touch with you and provide support for life, as anyone who graduates automatically becomes part of the alumni community. Alumni are currently eligible for benefits like continued library access, careers support for 12 months after graduation and you also receive exclusive invites to special events. The ECU alumni team are currently in the process of revamping the alumni program, and are looking for the opinions of students to find out ways in which you would like to stay in touch with ECU following graduation, and the sort of support and benefits you’d like to receive. Please email alumni@ecu.edu.au with your thoughts!

Warmest Regards, Sheridan Young ECU Guild President president@ecuguild.org.au 0405 977 337

International Women’s Week Written by Jessica Elliott from ECU Women’s Community, with input from Azlan Martin and the inspiring organiser’s who pulled the week together.

March 4-8th celebrated International Women’s Day. Events were held at every Western Australian University throughout the week, where every campus held a morning tea on the Monday, and then a panel discussion or talk on a particular women’s issue on a different day throughout the week, promoting communication and solidarity.

At the Mt Lawley campus morning tea on March 4th, students and staff mingled with ECU Women’s Community co-conveners Ngaire Powell and Jessica Elliott, and the Women’s Representative Rebecca Lyons. Over cupcakes and refreshments, the group discussed women’s issues.

The Joondalup campus morning tea was held concurrently by co-convenor Dure Khan and helpers from our Student Guild. Ron Oliver, Deputy Vice-Chancellor, gave sound advice to wear sensible shoes, no matter the occasion; Sheridan Young, Student Guild President, reminded everyone, that they could have it all and shouldn’t settle for less and Dure Khan brought the audience to tears with her personal journey from Pakistan to Australia.

On March 6th a panel discussion on ‘Culture, Context, and Consent’ was powerfully directed by the three speakers. Melissa Burkett talked about rape culture and consent in contemporary society, an issue closely linked to her PhD studies. Dure Khan addressed rape culture and context, from her South East Asian perspective. Professor Anne Wallace talked about the law and justice system in relation to rape culture and prosecution; particularly with descending rates of reporting abuse and prosecutions remain low due to a lack of uniformity found in the court and legal systems.

The audience in attendance found this panel discussion to be a very informative and diverse, with many staying after the event to continue discussion with the individual speakers.

On March 8th, the annual ECU Memorial Lecture was held at Mount Lawley. It was introduced by Deputy Vice-Chancellor, Professor Arshad Omari with a welcome to country by Pro-Vice-Chancellor, Professor Colleen Hayward, followed by the exceptional lecture from Professor Beth Armstrong. The lecture “Missing voices: A journey into language, brain and culture” discussed aphasia, language difficulty after stroke. It was a great ending to a fabulous week, with many different events to celebrate International Women’s Day. We would love you to be involved with future events from the Women’s Community and Equity and Diversity Dept.

Please email equity@ecuguild.org.au or ecuwomenscommunity@gmail.com

GSM Writers’ Night Edition #4 “The Body” Wednesday April 24 ML 3.208 5pm - 7pm Writers’ Nights are for regular contributors and newbies alike.

We brainstorm ideas, assign articles, and give out stuff for reviews. We’ll also feed you. Bring friends, bring family, bring your collection of sea-shell statuettes.

We don’t care. Just be there.

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If you’re reading this on the Joondalup campus can I just say hello, and comment on how lovely it is to have you holding me in your gentle hands. I’m not going to lie; I’m really enjoying the intimacy we’re sharing. I hope you’re enjoying it too because this year we’ll be rolling out stands across your campus and increasing our distribution so we can make this a more regular affair. Likewise there will be new stands going out to Bunbury and Mount Lawley so no matter which campus you’re on you’ll be able to regularly enjoy this intimate holder-held relationship.

The three themes being tackled this semester are all concepts that I have been sitting on for a while. “Pleasure” is infinitely appealing because it is such a multi-layered concept. There is the pleasure of anticipation, the pleasure at another’s misfortune, the pleasure in destruction, the diminishing return on fulfilling pleasures… Admit it though, when you heard the word you assumed it related to sex.

Some people seem very uptight about the idea of sex and pleasure.

We once did an edition specifically themed “Drugs, Sex, and Rock and Roll” and I was asked by a student in her twenties “what does drugs and sex have to do with being a student?!”

I’m not sure if she was naïve, trolling, or militantly straight-edge, although I’d assume that even the sober and abstinent can recognize that sex and drugs is a fairly popular, if erratic, pursuit for most young people. As another example I was doing a lecture speak a few weeks ago and at the mere mention of the word “pleasure” a dour mature-aged women at the back of the class scrunched-up her face like a paper bag and vigorously shook her head with a whip-lash intensity. I suspect she wasn’t reacting to an urge to imagine a basket filled with soft puppies wanting to be played with... aww.

Let’s be honest, most of the articles sent in for this edition are reaching for the low hanging fruit, so to speak. However, if articles about extreme sex toys and psychotropic sandwiches offend you then I say good. Why not channel your outrage into writing something so awesome we’ll have no choice but to publish your article instead. Go on, do it, we dare you. That’s right, we’re getting all up in your grill and challenging you to an old fashioned write-off. Each edition we publish the best articles we receive to fill the available space in the magazine, so write us the best article and you’re a shoe-in. Actually, let’s expand this up-in-your-grill write-off challenge to anyone reading this. What do you have to lose?

Edition three is all about “Perth”. Who doesn’t have something to say about dear old P-Town? We like to publish a variety of articles – lists and rankings, satire, humor, and observational pieces.

Essentially anything that’s creative and engaging. You can also stray into the realm of the serious: WA’s youth incarceration rates, an interview with the Mayor, the life and times our millionaire mining magnates, etc. If you can team it with Perth you’ll earn our kudos. If you’d like to write an article contact me ASAP with an outline of your idea. Article and artwork deadline is noon Friday April 12.

GSM is all about community – we want you and your friends to come to our writers’ nights, to write for us, to hang out in the office, to read us, to make friends and have a good time. Our final writers’ night for semester one is Wednesday April 24 5pm – 7pm in 3.208. We’d love it if you’d come and help generate ideas for articles about “the body” (edition four). Write an article about the evolution of language, a humorous piece about a boy with ESP, a healthy living guide based on medieval medicine (try to avoid unbalancing your biles), a choose your own adventure through the human body. Hopefully some ideas to get you started.

Alright prudes and dudes (in the non-gendered appropriation of the word) I wish you all the best with your assignments, and look forward to seeing your fresh and offended faces at our writers’ night, in the GSM office and on the campus.

Words by the Editor, Tom Reynolds editor.gsm@gmail.com PS: That’s me with Phillip Adams, proudest moment of my life.

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I’m a 23 year old virgin, help!

I’m a 23 year old guy and I’ve never had sex. I’m pretty shy and I guess I’ve been a bit hung up about talking to girls after a few bad experiences in high school. I’ll be moving to the Village to be closer to campus while I finish my dissertation. I’m hoping that being part of college life means I’ll have more opportunities to have sex with girls. Do you have any advice on how I can (finally) get laid?

- Sexually Frustrated Geek Dear Sexually Frustrated, Wow, you must have gone to the same school as Cady, Regina and Glen Coco, because those sound like some pretty mean girls to put you off getting laid for so long. The truth is SFG you’re going to be a shy guy no matter where you live. Luckily for you there are ladies, especially at universities, out there positively lusting for quiet introspective boys. If you want to find them on campus try joining some student clubs, going to Village social events, or even ask your friends to introduce you to eligible bachelorettes. You don’t get laid if you don’t ask.

As for the practicalities with the right lady, be honest about your sexual inexperience and take your time. (A couple of shots to calm to nerves are always available for the virginal or long-term abstinent). Forget everything you’ve seen in porn, talk to her about what is or is not working for her – and remember to have a sense of humour about it. Sex is a veritable checklist of embarrassing and vulnerable moments. Sex and the City dedicated an entire episode to the shame of farting in bed; I can only imagine how they’d have dealt with a sex session penetrated by loud angry queefs.

Dude Tip: in the meantime mix up you masturbatory habits. A vagina, mouth or anus feels very different to your hand. The last thing you want to do is finally have sex only to find that anything other than a death-like hand grip on your dick is insufficient for getting off. I’d also recommend jerking off with a condom on a few times until you get used to the sensation, nothing kills a nervous boner like fiddling around with a johnnie for five minutes.

I think I got an STI I hooked up with this guy and a few days later I noticed my throat was sore and really phlegmy. I went to the doctor’s and they made me do a urine test. It’s been a week and I haven’t heard back from them. Does this mean I’m okay?

- Little Miss Sticky Pants

Dear Little Miss, Seriously? You already know the answer. Stop wasting time emailing me and CALL THE DOCTOR. It’s the receptionists that note when to call you, maybe they’ve forgotten to call you or maybe the results are taking longer than expected. Either way, call them. Your sexual health is your responsibility.

I’m in Love with a Jerk I’ve been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend for four years. I love him deeply but I’m starting to feel like he is overbearing. He does a lot of travelling for his job but when he’s home I feel like I can’t do anything by myself or with my own friends without upsetting him. I ask him if he minds when I go out when he’s home and he says he doesn’t but when I come back he’ll be moody. When I talk to my other gay friends they have way more interesting sex lives – but I feel like ours has stalled. I feel like I still love him but I’m less interested in the relationship. I don’t know what to do.

- Little Boi Blue Dear Little Boi, It sounds like you’re really dealing with an issue of communication. Your boyf isn’t admitting his possessiveness, and you’re not telling him that you find him overbearing, not to mention the sex has become stale. If you can’t talk about the way you’re really feeling I’m guessing you’re not talking about the sex, either. On your current trajectory it’s obvious your little spaceship of a relationship is on autopilot and without someone (you) taking control it’s going to fly out of orbit and right into the Sun. If you’re willing to play house you should be comfortable enough to be able to talk about your feelings to one another. Man up and tell your boyfriend that he’s being an overbearing jerk. You’re entitled to a social life whether he’s home or not, and he’s playing a double standard by leaving to do his job but expecting to come home and find you waiting hand-and-foot on him. Given that he’s often away, honest communication is especially important. If you love him and you’re still interested in having a relationship with him, you’ll find the right way to talk to him – both about his attitude, and about what changes you can make to your sex life.

Need advice? Email: nsa.advice@gmail.com We’ll publish your questions anonymously.

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Short Pleasures Nice Lady

Intangible pleasures

A couple of years ago I reviewed for a local music website.

One of my first gig reviews was in a garage behind Dada Records. The gig itself was pretty lame but afterwards this girl I had been talking to invited me back to her hotel.

Apparently she was a stripper from over East that came here for a holiday. It was only a short walk away, near the hospital, so I followed.

When you picture pleasure, is it made up of tiny things that delight you on the inside or big experiences that serenade all your senses? Is it a rush that you feel when you conjure up something from the past or is it the anticipation of something that could be?

The hotel was in this incredibly shady section of town, there were homeless people sleeping out the front and when we came in the reception was behind thick glass and had to buzz us into the building. We went to her room and it was ridiculously tiny, only two or three meters squared.

Anyway, things progressed and we were listening to music and making out in this tiny little apartment when she said she wanted to go out and have a drink at a bar. Defeated, I accepted the decision. We went out to a few places and started drinking.

She ended up telling me that she was actually an “exotic masseuse” who had come to WA to work in Kalgoorlie for a couple of weeks for some extra money. Apparently it was her last night in Perth before she went back over East but she also had a gig working locally and she had one last “shift” before she left. We got really drunk, made out some more then she gave me her number and left for work. She bought me a whole bunch of drinks too.

Keeping in Contact One time my best friend’s housemate was really drunk and was hitting on me in front of her. They live in a tiny apartment and I felt awkward as he tried to drunkenly touch me up in front of her. I went back the next weekend and we got drunk before making out on his bed for a couple of hours. I’ve never really enjoyed kissing, but it was nice trying a bunch of different techniques. We ended up falling asleep while kissing before I left. We only talked about what happened once but we kept in contact.

A few months later he messaged me out of the blue and asked what I was doing. He was drunk and I ended up finishing a bottle of rum I found in the house waiting for him to come over. When he arrived he marched through the front door, pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me. We had sex and he stayed the night. We’ve only talked about what happened that night once but we’ve kept in contact. ;) Doggy Style My friend once confessed that she let her dog go down on her. She said it was amazing.

Dancing I’m an atheist but when I dance in the dark I feel like I’m having a religious experience.

Whatever your flavour of pleasure, is it not the thought and the feeling, the emotion that some things evoke, which is so pleasurable? Take words for instance, all manner of words can fan the flames of pleasure. Whether it is a few words exchanged with a stranger, a long talk with someone who knows you inside out, or sometimes the words that are left unsaid, they all bring pleasure.

Sensory pleasures however, the ones that can be touched and tasted, the ones that mesmerise with their sight and scent, the ones that lure like a siren’s song, they all seem to rate high in this era of instant gratification.

Too many minds, it seems, are numbed by (the somewhat garish) omnipresence of these tactile treasures. The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates that around a million adults live with depression nationwide. Take pleasure then, in offering a listening ear or a string of kind words when you next suspect a case of the blues. In our unending quest for it, this sometimes unspoken, intangible brand of pleasure is surely what we could all use more.

Kissing a Boy at a Party Years ago I went to a house party. There was this really cute guy who was a friend of a friend. I said hi to him and he offered me a drink so I accepted and we chitchatted. Being around 18 the drink was really strong (and terrible). As the evening progressed he continued to offer me drinks and we got quite drunk. He took me around to show me all the rooms in the house and we ended up in his friend’s bedroom. We were looking at all the cool stuff in her room when he shut the door. I asked him what he was doing and he got very quiet and said he wanted to ask me something. He wanted to know if I’d ever kissed another guy. I told him I had. We were standing close together just on the other side of the door in her darkened room. I remember feeling the warmth of his exhalations as he breathed so close to my face. I asked him if he wanted to try it and leaned in and started kissing him.

I don’t remember how but we ended up in his friend’s bed kissing and dry humping. I do remember three different people walking in on us. His friends wanted to leave and take him home because he didn’t have a car. At one point a girl opened the door, turned her back and nervously asked “Um, we’d like to go home. Um, do you want a lift? We’re, er, tired.” Being 18 we were too poor for taxis and there was nowhere else to sleep at this girl’s house.

I stumbled out of the bed, wandered into the party with my face covered in a dark pash rash. I drunkenly organized a passenger swap with my friend Nina so he could get a ride with my friends. I wandered back and we started making out on the floor for a while. Things started to get hot and heavy and he motioned that he wanted a blowjob. I was too drunk to be sure so I started moving down on him and as I opened his fly said “I’m going to blow you”. He shot bolt upright and announced “No! You can’t do that. I’m in love with Nina!” pulling his zipper closed.

At the time it was kind of upsetting but looking back on it now I just laugh.

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Pleasure

The others seem quite content where they are but the sliding door leading to the back garden is beckoning me.

I now understand what people mean when they say they are feeling all warm and fuzzy. My skin feels everything. I am suddenly aware of where my clothes are touching me, I am so warm and lovely and the slight breeze brushing past is kissing me all over.

It feels exquisite. I feel alive. It’s late afternoon and the sky looks as if it has been progressively dyed. A beautiful midnight blue is at the tip of the dome, mixing with the paleness of the horizon to create a palette of magnificent blues.

How can something that feels so good be so bad?

It all starts with a peanut butter and mushroom sandwich. Not a familiar combination but certainly an interesting one. I hesitate momentarily before taking a small bite from the corner. Not a great first bite. When I make a sandwich for myself the condiment is spread right to the corners, covering every square inch of the bread. But I didn’t make this sandwich. My friend made it for me and now the dry crusts of the bread are teaming up with the cheap brand of peanut butter and are sticking to the roof of my mouth, the sides of my mouth and my tongue.

The next bite proves to be more challenging as my teeth find themselves up against a dried mushroom, and this isn’t an ordinary mushroom, it’s a magical one. It does not seem like a magical experience so far, the taste is putrid and I find myself gagging.

Trying ever so hard to look graceful whilst eating this disgusting sandwich. My teeth do not bite through the entire mushroom sometimes and the small stalks are left sticking out the side of my mouth. I suck them in like a frog eating a fly and chew, chew, chew away.

After ten wonderful minutes my stomach tries to do the right thing for my body by rejecting the mushrooms. The vomit tries to crawl its way up my oesophagus but I won’t let it come out. My mind fights the unnatural hallucinogenic properties and my stomach fights the overwhelming urge to throw up. This is all new to me but the others assure me that once we get past this stage everything is going to be amazing.

There are five of us in the house tonight in Kensal Rise, London.

The other four are casually strewn across the mismatched couches in the open lounge room/kitchen/dining room. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is on TV. I have never seen this movie before but it is freaking me the fuck out. There are mini orange men the colour of carrots running about the screen singing a song that can only be described as disturbing. I don’t want to watch this movie because I can’t tell if it’s me that’s fucked up or the movie, and I want to know when it hits and when I am indeed hallucinating.

I tell myself that the drugs haven’t kicked in yet because this is just nature; I have seen these things before. When the clouds start swirling together and forming delicate patterns I realise it has begun. I rub my eyes and turn my head towards the sky once again, taking a moment before opening them. This is for real, the clouds are still dancing together, making different patterns now and I am totally captivated by the result.

An aeroplane enters my peripheral vision and now that my eyes have fully locked onto it, I discover the trail of fireworks streaming out of it at a deliriously slow pace. Colours I have never seen before, the intensity almost too much for the human eye to absorb. It feels like some almighty being is putting on a show for me. This is all happening just for me. I feel so special. I feel so at one with the world. I feel like I have been watching this outdoor display for a eternity but I have no true perception of time anymore.

It’s time to see what the others are doing. They are all staring intently at the TV. It seems so hilarious so I laugh at them. It is the kind of laughter I experience on odd occasions when I am in a crazy enough mood. It starts in my belly and shakes my entire body from head to toe. Not much sound escapes from me, its more a movement thing. I laugh so hard my whole face is pulled taut from the smiling and I don’t think my face is physically able to stretch any more. Everyone is laughing now, and we continue to laugh for hour and hours about, well... nothing and everything. I am happy. I am deliriously happy. I am happy in a way that I have never been before.

I now understand that sticker that I once saw on the back of a beat up Holden Commodore that said: ‘Make the world a better place and I’ll stop doing drugs’.

Words by Anonymous Image by Jess Paterson

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Hence, pleasure may be perceived as more animalistic than other emotional experiences, satisfying urges and whims and may seem, at times, greedily self-indulgent. In modern society we strive against natural behaviour as it is seen as weakness to give in to our raw, pathetic humanism.

Mixing Religion and Pleasure: The Molotov Cocktail Pleasure and religion are at war with each other. I know this only too well, as I was brought up in a strict Catholic household. In most traditional, structured religions, worshippers are asked to put aside flippant worldly pleasures and take up a noble life of selfsacrifice, martyrdom and devout worship to a supreme and allknowing deity or deities. Many faiths also believe that the universe and indeed lowly human beings were created by a much higher omnipotent power. I find the belief sequence incomprehensible, that these almighty beings created all matter, all emotion, all cognition, yet would then deny us free reign over the wonderous senses and desires which we have been given, allegedly, by them.

It must be entertaining to watch us desperately trying not to give into our apparently flawed constructed nature.

Why do we deny ourselves pleasure? Not only am I referring to the content, happy and satisfied emotional effects of pleasure, but also to our pursuit of pleasure-inducing experiences. Do we feel we don’t deserve pleasure, are embarrassed of it, or is it simply a frivolous and unnecessary commodity, now unwelcome in our busy, important and gravely serious world?

Pleasure as Taboo As soon as the word ‘pleasure’ is uttered, people either recoil in horror that such a subject could ever be broached or they crack a seedy and suggestive smirk, their eyes darting around the room looking for others to share an ‘are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ moment with. The reason for these responses seems to be the inextricable link between the word pleasure to a purely sexual realm in today’s society. In my experience, it seems the word pleasure only arises in late night TV sex line and poorly produced long lasting erection ads, as well as magazine sex columns for the ‘empowered’ woman. What happened to the day when we could’ve experienced pleasurable discourse as well as intercourse?

Not to diminish the word’s use in a sexual context, there are so many things that can actually induce feelings of pleasure; a breath of fresh ocean air, eating a delicious meal, patting a kitten, watching a polished performance, throwing your self into cool water on a boiling hot day. One thing all these experiences have in common is that they are sensual, that is involving the senses, and this link may be why we see ‘pleasure’ as a dirty word. It relates to our innermost basic tendencies and instincts, which we should surely fulfill in order to display our natural human behaviour.

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Religion is hierarchical, respectful, ritualistic and methodical.

Pleasure, on the other hand, is playful, enjoyable, unpredictable, frivolous, and experimental. There is no place for satisfying our pleasurable desires if we are to be righteous, god-fearing, pious servants. The devoutly religious, therefore, deny themselves many basic pleasures, as to appease the gods and secure their entry into the magnificent afterlife, where they will be eternally rewarded for their control, discipline and solemnity. I believe that this dichotomy between pleasure and religion inhibits much of an individual’s personal and intellectual growth, and in turn the development of questioning and reasoning abilities. The ‘no pleasure’ model of religion is perfect for the control of its subjects who always exhibit predictable, sensible and respectable ideals and behaviours.

Social Etiquette and Self-Censorship It’s undeniable that we have a constant internal monologue by which we self-censor everything we say and do. We can relate this internal voice to the ‘what will people think of me’ complex.

This is a huge roadblock to our experiences of pleasure. As young children we were conditioned; told not to laugh at people when they fall over, not to play in the mud and not to acknowledge the hilarity of inappropriate jokes, all things which naturally induce an immense feeling of pleasure in us. For example, have you ever been in an important meeting or lecture, and suddenly had the most overwhelming urge to leap onto your chair and yell the kind of crazy gibberish that could easily have you institutionalised, whilst shaking with distorted facial expressions and bodily convulsions.

Well, I have fantasised about this many times, but have not yet had the pleasure. This is of course because my desire to experience this pleasure is far outweighed by the assumed consequences that would follow, the belief that I may be socially ostracised or simply sent to the funny farm.

Pleasure Potential So next time your mind wanders to the ridiculous notion of experiencing pleasure, grab it with both hands and enjoy every ounce of it. You don’t need an instructional manual and you’re usually not in any danger, it’s completely natural and, heaven forbid, you may even want to repeat the process again.

Words by Julia Lane Image by Clairine Ca’o

My Search for Normalcy Yesterday I was flying high with ripples of feel-good euphoria that painted my world in iridescence. Today there is no colour; all is black and shades of grey. What tomorrow will bring in terms of my moods, no one knows, least of all me. That is the fundamental blessing and curse of this illness. To be bipolar is to feel supremely witty, brilliant, aggressive and powerful one day, only to fall. Crashing to the depths of soul crushing despair, where even getting out of bed is more than I can handle. The depression is to find your self at suicide’s door and sometimes I feel like I have no choice but to turn the handle and pass through to death’s embrace and eternal nothingness.

During the mania I feel like I can accomplish anything, my creativity skyrockets, but the manic muse of happiness becomes the gorgon of manic rage, psychosis and severe depression. Why is it called rage and not anger? Imagine somebody igniting a barrel of magnesium versus a spitting little sparkler and you’ll have a visual analogy. The frustration is so severe; it takes all of my strength to stop myself from punching walls, windows, basically anything within reach. The aggressiveness is the only way to release the burning rage. I break down in tears because I feel like I just cannot fight this anymore.

I’ve been treated for BPD for 15 years now. Unpredictability has become my only constant. One minute I feel motivated and happy.

Then an overwhelming feeling of dread washes over me. It’s uncontrollable. Everything is wrong, everything is too hard. My mind continues to race while my body is giving up. It’s been days since I have slept. The nights are long and lonely. I have only myself and endless time. Time is my worst enemy. The clock ticks by hour after hour. The thoughts start off innocent enough but its not long before my mind becomes cloudy. I can feel the heaviness around me, it fills the entire room, making it hard to breathe. I take in a deep breath but all I take in is toxic fuel for the malevolent part of my mind. Anxiety sets in. I put my head in my hands, begging God to help me. Help me to cope with another night alone. To give me the strength to keep fighting this evil that takes over my mind. I can’t focus on anything, my mind races with a highway of thoughts flashing passed, leaving streaks of heat. My head feels like it’s going to explode, a dead lock between me and the devil himself. Face to face, a fight to the death.

This is when the search for normality becomes my obsession. My addiction to the rush of happiness is my guilty pleasure. Drugs become my best friend. Any drugs will do if it will mellow out the highs and juice up the lows. The numbness in my mind is a muchawaited feeling. The euphoria from the high extinguishers the raging fire inside me, drenches the darkness in a wash of warm light. The rush is addictive, I can’t stop smiling, my heart is racing and for those few hours everything is how it’s supposed to be. The mellow relaxation that follows allows my mind to slow down enough for me to be able to hopefully sleep. However there is always a negative to self-medicating.

Eventually I become so numb, no longer feeling anything at all.

Life doesn’t feel good but it doesn’t feel bad either. I feel like a chemically induced zombie. This is when the self-harm starts. I pick up the blade and run it across my skin, smiling, watching the warm blood trickle down. The rush of cutting is addictive. It allows me to feel something that I know is REAL. The pain isn’t in my head; if I cut you with a blade would you feel it? Would you be told that the pain is in your head? Finally I cannot be told I’m imagining my own feelings and emotions. This releases a satisfying sense of happiness.

I fall asleep feeling satiated and content. I wake up ready to begin the battle again, not knowing if this one will be my last.

Words by Jessica Paterson & Image by Clairine Ca’o

13

Cameo lover, Kimbra Your playlist doesn’t have to consist entirely of slow sultry music. Switch things up with this quirky and cute tune about a casual rendezvous.

Allow Kimbra to inject some fun into the fondling.

Whole Lotta Love, Led Zepplin It would be easy to fill your late night playlist with seductive soul music, mix things up with this classic track from one of the greatest rock bands in the world.

Pick up the tempo and let the guitar riff drive you to new explosive heights of desire.

Man’s world, James Brown Show some appreciation for the fairer sex with this soulful classic. Brown’s voice exudes a painful longing and desperation that is oh so sexy. This really is the perfect track for romancing or ravaging your bed buddy.

Let’s hop on the good foot and do the bad thing! Lock the doors, dim the lights and clear your schedule. It’s time to get down and make love. Whether you’re seducing your partner or a perfect stranger it’s important to take care of the finer details.

Music is one of the greatest pleasures in life and the right playlist can create the perfect atmosphere to indulge every sinful wish on your bucket list. No matter what you aim to achieve; erotic passion, sizzling intimacy or just a way to drown out the noise, this playlist is sure to fulfil a fantasy or two.

Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Baby, Barry White The undisputed king of the bedroom Barry White is guaranteed to please. His deep masculine voice offers an excellent soundtrack for passionate love making. This soulful number will help get you and your lover in the mood. Anyone of Mr White’s numbers will do the trick, or even try the Best Of for the full experience.

I’ll Make Love to You, Boyz II Men A little obvious? Maybe. But this nineties boy band classic strikes the perfect blend of romance and sex. A song all about selflessly pleasing your lover, just the way they want you to. So slow things down and indulge your partner’s every fantasy.

Wicked Game, Chris Isaak Isaak knocks this one out of the ball park. A great song by any standard and an even greater song to make love too. Hypnotic and enthralling, allow yourself to get lost in the highs and lows of Isaak’s undeniably sultry voice. This hauntingly beautiful track culminates intense intimacy.

(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman, Aretha Franklin Show your man how much you really appreciate him. This gorgeous song celebrates love in all its glory. Incite true romance and intimacy, light some candles and take the time to share that loving feeling.

14

Do You Wanna, The Kooks Well, do you wanna make love to me? Get playful and flirtatious with this brilliant track, half the fun is in the suspense. Fast paced and self-assured this a great track to tease and tantalise your lover, don’t stop ‘til they’re crying out YES! Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye This late night lovers list wouldn’t be complete without this classic track. Sultry, seductive and maybe a little on the head, it’s an obvious choice. From the whispered opening to the smooth beat it’s a great way to slow things down and explore your sensual side.

Need You Tonight, INXS Adam Garcia! Dancing half naked on a bar! Need I say more? A visual that helps elevate this provocative number to pure sex. Fun and sexy, this song earns its spot on this playlist. Take a page out of fellow Aussie Adam’s book and start with a striptease.

Close To Me, The Cure Not a typical choice when selecting songs to make love to but this exquisitely crafted song doesn’t so much scream sex as whisper it. The experience is almost claustrophobic as lead singer Robert Smith builds the tension to its inevitable climax. Savour the moment with this delectable tune.

Love Will Tear Us Apart, Joy Division A strange choice I know, but bear with me. This is quite possibly the most poignant song choice for break up sex. It’s a contingency song for just in case. With Ian Curtis’s dark brooding voice and heart wrenching lyrics this is the perfect note to end on.

Words by Hollie Jenkins Image by Nathan Paterson

2004 was a landmark year. Why? Well, 2004 was the year that I began my obsession with a little card game known as Yu-Gi-Oh. Based off the anime that was running at the time, the Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game was a cleverly designed and fairly unique game that was insanely popular in Japan. At my school, YGO was king. Part game, part drug, part gambling. It had all the markers for being addictive as hell.

If you didn’t have a deck, you weren’t cool, simple as that.

That 40 card deck was both your greatest weapon and our greatest treasure. Lunch breaks became a battle zone and the best duelists reigned supreme. The kids who would later go on to become drug dealers learnt the tricks of the trade here by buying and selling the best cards, immediately gaining power and respect. Your cool was determined by the cards you had and tensions were high, so naturally fights broke out. I distinctly remember one kid tearing my favourite card in half after I absolutely mopped the floor with him.

I still adamantly believe that the broken nose he received as retaliation was completely justified. Every single time I found myself in a supermarket with my mum, I would beg and plead with her to walk me anywhere that might sell YGO cards and the days that I did open a new pack were filled with pure excitement. My time with YGO ended when I boxed my cards away in 2006. Nobody I knew played the game anymore and so, the cards were put in the back of my cupboard, never to be played again. Or so I thought.

Sometime in 2011, around about April, a funny thing happened. I found myself milling about my room, attempting to ignore the insane amount of reading I had to do for my psychology units and a distant memory of YGO plucked at my mind. Nostalgic intrigue swept over me and I went into my cupboard and found my cards. Just holding them in my hands again brought happy memories, snapshots of a more innocent time.

The next day when my girlfriend was round, I decided to ask if she would have a game of YGO with me, for nostalgia’s sake. Surprisingly, her school had never even been touched by the YGO craze but she had watched the anime on and off in school and she found herself really liking the artwork on some of the cards. So we roughly made some decks out of the cards I had and gave it a go, trying to remember the rules as we went.

After a fair few games, I decided to do a bit of googling and to my surprise, not only was Yu-Gi-Oh still on the air (albeit with entirely different characters and storylines than when I was a kid) but the card game was still putting out new packs and had evolved into a much more sophisticated and robust beast than the game I played as a kid.

Later, I casually brought it up in conversation with some of my mates that I had sort of got back into YGO and again I was shocked, they had been looking at their old cards again too. There was a collective smile that moved around the group. YGO was back in our lives but this time, it was different. Now, we didn’t have to rely on our parents to get our cards for us, we could buy them ourselves. Somehow, we got our girlfriends into the game as well. Life as I knew it had taken a dramatic turn for the awesome.

Almost two years from that day, I am now deeper into YGO than I ever was in high school. Not a day goes by that I don’t find myself either working on one of my current decks, researching upcoming cards and packs, keeping up with YGO tournaments and champions around the world or competing in tournaments myself. The more I got into YGO, the more the world seemed to open up.

I discovered places like Tactics and Al’s Card Shop right here in Perth and began to mingle with the surprisingly large Perth YGO community. Through new friends, I discovered tournaments that ran weekly in and around Perth and through those, I developed new friends and met new people. I now buy, sell and trade cards myself and actually make a fine mint off it too.

Re-discovering Yu-Gi-Oh has been an exhilarating and insanely enjoyable experience and I’m sure I’ll be playing this game for years to come. So next time you’re tired of studying, take a look in your cupboard, in those old lonely, discarded boxes. You never know what you’ll rediscover.

Words by Matt Stephen Image by Clairine Ca’o

15

I’m a relatively new member of the single life, having recently dumped my boyfriend of nearly four years. I didn’t know what to expect, and had absolutely no idea what to do with all this new freedom and independence. All I knew was that the majority of single people absolutely hate being single. It was as if there was nothing worse than having no partner, especially when Valentine’s Day came around. I didn’t want to be sucked into the pit of selfpity and loneliness, so I entered this foreign ‘single world’ with an open mind. I was not quite happy with it but not thinking it was the worst thing to happen to me.

The last time I was single I was in year 10. I thought that having a boyfriend would be the only important thing to happen in my life, but now I have so much time to do things I want to do. I don’t have to care about anyone else except for my cats and I. Here is my list of the pros and cons of living the single life.

Pros •

•

I can do what I want. Within reason, of course! If I want to go out, buy a cake and eat it all to myself I can do that. Sure, I might regret it later but #yolo, right? At least I won’t have a partner saying “don’t do that, you’ll get fat and I won’t love you anymore!” (If your partner says this, dump their sorry arse and come join the single party.)

Talking to cuties without worrying about your partner freaking out. Even if this cutie is just a friend, your partner won’t get jealous of you hanging out with them! Hang out with all the babes guilt and stress free!

•

Nothing to do all day? No reason to get out of pajamas! Now you CAN spend all day in bed watching TV and surfing the internet, without having to worry about meeting your boyfriend for dinner or having your girlfriend over.

•

You get your bed/futon/mattress all to yourself. All that leg room! All that space to roll around in! Oh it is glorious! Except I have to work around my cats, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

•

Freedom. This is my favourite thing about being single. I‘m not attached to a phone constantly texting someone, or I’m not glued to the computer each night talking to them online. I can go wherever I want with whoever I want and wear whatever I want and do whatever/whoever I want. Not having someone judging you or holding you back is so liberating.

•

I’ve become a strong, independent woman that don’t need no man. I actually feel like my confidence has boosted since I’ve broken up with my boyfriend. I can’t explain it, but I will happily chat to strangers at nightclubs until 4AM and I feel I can wear most things and feel good in them. I feel like I don’t need a man in my life to define who I am. I have been feeling pretty happy with who I am right now.

•

•

• •

Cons Sexual frustration. Unless you’ve found a friend with benefits, (Which is a challenging thing to do. If you’ve mastered it, please tell me how) then a lot of us singletons are left feeling horny and grumpy. Not a good combination.

Sleeping alone can suck. Especially when it’s “cuddle weather” (P.S That phrase makes me sick. Do not say it near me or I will throw up on you). If you have a large bed it can feel like a gaping chasm when it is the middle of winter. I suggest you buy yourself a lot of big, fluffy teddy bears and build a kickass fort out of them. You’ll have something awesome to cuddle and it provides warmth!

•

No one to play video games with. I suck at games. I get to a certain point and I cannot get past it. This was a great reason to have a gaming boyfriend because I would get him to help me and then I’d take the controllers back and carry on. Now I have a bunch of unfinished games and no one to help me.

•

There are a lot of pros and cons to being single, but I currently love the single life. The pros far outweigh the cons. I now have so much freedom, independence and confidence. Sure I miss having someone to cuddle up to at night, but isn’t that why cats were domesticated? If you’re feeling down because you’re single just grab a kitty! Problem solved!

Words by Francesca Mann Image by Jessica Paterson

16

The Oral Sex Light OK so I know men are supposed to be useless at finding even the largest objects, despite the fact that they are right in front them and are clearly labeled. But come on, isn’t it every straight guy’s instinct to be able to find our vajay-jays?

Apparently not without illumination. Men, do not despair, just grab one of these Oral Sex Lights, which fits like a small Bluetooth device over your ear, and lead yourself into the depths of temptation with ease.

The internet. Guilty pleasure? Oh yes it is. Now the internet may have its faults but I must admit that it does come in handy when you’re in need of reassurance. Everyone has their little eccentricities, although sexual fetishes seems to be the most researched topic when it comes to the question “am I normal?” Along with sexual fetishes comes the ridiculously fun subject of sex toys. We all know about the weird and wacky world of dildos and rubber vaginas, but I think that these select few may open your eyes just that little bit too much to a world of “Holy Shit” and “What The Actual Fuck?”

Enjoy!

The Fuck Saw Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking “why, how lovely would it be if I came home from work and hubby had cooked me dinner and was ready to fuck me with a saw” But it would seem that in this case I’m not normal. Clearly people do feel that this is the epitome of sexy because this contraption actually exists, that’s right, a dildo… in the shape of a saw. With up to 2,500 strokes per minute grab your dildo attachments and get ready for the ride of your life.

The Fucking Teddy Now this is the absolute peak of fucked-upness. The Fucking Teddy is as far from its originators symbol of innocence and childhood as can be imaginable. This in itself is the perfect reason why the sex toy market has bastardised this innocent toy and made it a glorified sexing machine complete with a full functioning motorised dildo.

Area 51 Love Doll Finally after years of autopsies, extraterrestrial bodily fluid samples, Tijuana tequila cocktails and countless UFO documentaries, the human populace once again dives head first into the deepest pits of Hell, bringing us one of the most despicable out of this world pleasure devices. It’s the sex doll they never wanted you to know about. For years they’ve locked it away under the deserted land that is Area 51, kept it top secret and tried to prevent all of us from enjoying extraterrestrial pleasure. This lovely lady has landed on Earth and she is looking for anything but peace. With her vagina lips, smokin’ body and three boobs, this chicky babe is ready to get freaky!

Baby Jesus Butt plug Hmm I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Whether this was made as a statement about organised religion or just a good excuse to cause mass religious riots, either way this is just all kinds of fucked up. Let your inner freak make this the centerpiece of your sexual desires, I mean who doesn’t want the good Lord Jesus inside them?

Pogo Stick Dildo Ah, this one gave me a good laugh. I think we can all remember the pure rush of adrenalin and pleasure we experienced as a child, bouncing around on a metal pole and falling on our tushies. BUT now as an adult we have had our eyes opened to the world of fantasy and sexuality. So now we can tag team our love of the things that bounce and can penetrate our love portals in the form of a pogo stick dildo. That’s right, it also comes with a second attachment so you and your friends can pogo fuck together. I would like to say that there should be a warning for grievous internal damage on the box… just sayin.

So there you have it folks, a tiny glimpse into the multi faceted, slightly disturbing world of the sex toy industry. Let me tell you that this is scraping only the surface of what is out there for even the most immoral degenerate to satisfy their unsatiable need for self-gratification.

Words by Jessica Paterson Image by Nathan Paterson

17

The Vikings are here!

The number of Norwegian students enrolled at ECU is steadily increasing, and according to Mount Lawley’s ECU Village Office Oracle Joy Wihlborg, the number of Norwegian adventurers in the student village this semester has reached a record of 20. There are even more of them in the private renting market. What has brought so many Vikings to venture across boarders to reach the destination of the most isolated big city?

Above is a picture of my family’s house in Norway, covered in snow. An idyllic winter wonderland, almost like a postcard-motif, some people might think. But our daily lives don’t only consist of this apparent idyll, which some people assume include daily buildings of snowmen, skiing down hills or cross-country, tobogganing and ice-skating on frozen lakes.

On the day this picture was taken back in 2010, I found myself waking up to –15 degrees following a night of 40 centimetres of snowfall. It’s been snowing handkerchiefs, is the Norwegian expression of such a disgusting snowfall, which meant my car and driveway had to be dug out from underneath a carpet woven together from a zillion uber-cold yet amazingly sparkly handkerchiefs. (One hour of shuffle-fitness-training, that’s why most Norwegians stay slim.) The -15 degrees meant my car to had to be heated up by an external heating system for half an hour before I could even start fantasising about finger-flirting with the ignition.

Sweaty, cold and warm at the same time, I arrived at Byaasen High School, where I worked as a sign language interpreter. One of the teachers had done parts of his uni-degree in Oz, and today he wanted to show the students Oz-pictures on the projector screen.

Outside, a new army of handkerchiefs were rapidly approaching the ground, clinging together into a cold formation, but inside, the sea softly stroked against the beach, and golden, happy faces were smiling behind too many or too few layers of sun-screen and big sunnies. And, not to mention the koalas. (They must be the dictionary definition of melt-my-heart-completely.) My hands forgot to translate the teacher’s captivating speech into signs.

Considering I was actually wearing a woollen sweater inside, and that I had to prepare for another hour of shuffling before I could drive my car home from work, it didn’t take me even five minutes before the combination of the koala and the ocean just hit me.

“But why did you choose Perth?” people interrogate me.

Firstly, it’s probably the #1 University City in Australia when it comes to the weather. Considering the weather I’m used to back at home, the sun is quite a good incentive to come here!

Secondly, because Perth, according to WA’ers, isn’t a natural choice when it comes to studying, it therefore becomes the natural choice for us. Perth is different, but in a good way. Although you live in a big city, it still feels like you’re in the cosy countryside, and vice versa. Cosy, like home.

Thirdly, because The Gold Coast and Melbourne are invaded with Norwegians. We do like our own kind, but most of us didn’t move down here to create a Norwegian colony in which we only hang out with our own kind and never expand our English vocabulary. If you ever end up in a colony like this, and you ever do the walk-of-shame, you can be certain you’ll never escape the rumours ever again when you return to the motherland, where “everyone” knows “everyone”. Norway has a sparse population of about five millions, so the chance you’ll meet your little fling again, is quite (too) big.

Fourth, ECU is well known for its brilliant media and communication studies.

Fifth, WA’ers are the friendliest people I’ve ever met.

Last, because Bjorknes University College in Norway’s capital, Oslo, has an exchange-program co-operation with ECU. Be proud of your city, WA’ers!

I know that when I head back to the north this winter (and probably freeze to death despite my new uggs), I’ll be proud to say I’ve studied in Perth!

Don’t ask, “why Perth?”

FAST.

Ask, “why not?”

DEEF.

Words & Image by Marte Hegstad

STUCK.

18

Two months and many snow shuffles later, I found myself google-ing “study” and “Australia” on a daily basis. The plunge just had to be taken.

Culture Margaret: I love Lena Dunham, and I love her attitude. I think she is amazing and at times I feel like the scatological dark humor she is so wonderful at is really somehow borne from my body. I look at her and it feels like she is my daughter!

Tom: The theme for this edition of the magazine is “pleasure”. I know we share a love of Billy Bragg and raisin toast. What else brings you pleasure, and have your pleasures changed over time?

Margaret: A good sleep, as I am a chronic insomniac and have spent over 2 weeks once without sleeping and when I finally fell asleep my phone woke me up with a message from a member of a band that I cannot mention but it scared me and I couldn’t sleep again for another 2 weeks. (think black metal) music is always giving me pleasure, really good comedy, soju and Korean barbecue, Korean garage bands and choi min sik. My pleasures have gotten simpler over time.

Margaret Cho. She’s hilarious, caustic, defiant and talented.

Best known for her stand-up routine in which she blends gross-out humour with politically cutting insights about race, body image, politics and sexuality Cho will be bringing her newest show “Mother!” to Perth later this month. Cho is a multi-talented force of nature also involved in fashion, video production & writing. She even had her own TV show in the nineties and recently appeared as Kim Jong in 30 Rock. GSM’s Tom Reynolds asked her about her career, her future and what her pleasures are.

Tom: One reader compared you to being like Batman, dedicated to kicking butt in the name of social justice after a difficult childhood as an outsider. In your blog you’ve mentioned being “alternatively hated then invisible” because you didn’t fulfill the racial, sexual or physical expectations that were socially assigned to you. Rather than asking you how hard it is to be different, I was wondering if you could talk to the positives of being a nonconformist?

Margaret: Being a nonconformist is the only choice I have, because I can’t exist any other way, so I suppose I don’t really know what it would be like to conform, just because everything about me is different from the world I live and work in. I guess what is great about it is that i can just do what I do, live as I live, just be myself at all times, which is a lot of freedom.

Tom: Confession: growing up in my all-white town in rural Australia I can still remember regularly watching with fascination All American Girl. Re-watching it reminded me a bit of what Roseanne Barr was trying to achieve with her show at the same time. Do you think a show like AAG or Roseanne would be viable on television today – and are there any current shows that have continued their legacy?

Margaret: Thank you for watching it! That is great. And I love Roseanne - I was trying to do what she was doing but I didn’t have the experience to back it up then. I do now, and I could really imagine doing a show like AAG or Roseanne today. There aren’t that many current shows i could say that were like those 90s sitcoms, but I love web series like Gayle Waters-Waters that can be seen on YouTube, and summer heights high, which was genius.

Tom: Talking of TV, have you been watching Girls? Any thoughts on season two?

Tom: I interviewed a young gay comedian who co-hosts the national youth radio station in Australia (we’re kind of socialists like that) and asked him if there was such a thing as being “too gay” in stand up. He argued there was, how would you respond to that question?

Margaret: I don’t know. What is too gay? I haven’t encountered anyone too gay. We are all just right.

Tom: What makes something funny – and is there anything taboo in standup?

Margaret: Taboos in and of themselves are funny. And that is a very esoteric question. It’s a mystery what makes a joke funny. I don’t know, but for some reason, most days, I am fairly good at it Tom: You’re in your forties now. Has your life turned out anything like you’d predicted it would? And what else would you like to achieve in the next forty years? By the way, ever considered collaborating with Dan Savage?

Margaret: I love Dan Savage! Yes I would love to do anything with him. He is a hero and a champion for young LGBT everywhere, and of course we older folks worship him too. we were hanging out together in Stockholm and I just fell in love with him. My life is great, it’s not what I pictured, but it’s better and I want to do the same things I am doing now, just working all the time and loving it forever.

Tom: I put a shout out onto Facebook asking what questions people would most like to ask you if they had the opportunity. This is a question I got from a teacher friend of mine.

‘I’m teaching a book called Montana 1948. It deals with themes of masculinity, racism and misogyny. I have a 17-year-old student (a white heterosexual boy) who’s struggling to grasp the themes. I feel he can’t understand them without recognizing his own privilege and how it operates. How would you convey what masculinity and male privilege means to my student?’

Margaret: That is very difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t felt it, but I guess it’s that he is resistant to fully understand the privileges of his identity in society because it’s a possible admission to himself and others that he is somehow then implicated in oppression. I think that sometimes there is higher value placed on minority opinion, as this is happening now in the USA, and in that social hierarchical reversal, he might finds some answers.

19

Culture

The Carlton Blues

The university lifestyle is a good one. In a world full of complainers.

I am experiencing many exciting adventures in my day to day life.

The key is to embrace the traveller’s mindset, adopting it in your hometown. This means being open to new experiences. Walking down that unchartered alleyway, seeing new stretches of coast line, meeting new people and experiencing our bountiful collection of taste and drink establishments. I highly recommend being on the traveller’s rhythm. Life is free and easy, one full of pleasure.

I’m so stoked to have completed my first year at university. It is tough at times, especially when homework snowballs. However once it is done it all seems petty. My friend Mayfair invites me to Leck’s party on Bulwer. These famous parties are always fun, and a 70’s porn star theme is the setting for the night. While I’m not into dressing up (love simplicity/comfort of jeans/shirt), most of the ladies at the venue are well into the spirit of things. As I walk in I’m greeted by a projector showing some old school porn on the wall. Love isn’t in the air tonight, just sex.

I experience an awesome night sipping long necks of Export and sharing a yarn with a lot of different and interesting people. I’m out of beer and the last train home is approaching. I walk through the kitchen on my way out of the joint when kindly, Ruby Rose inquires if I would like a drink of vodka. You have to roll with it when the most beautiful girl in town offers you a drink. I re-enter the backyard enjoying my newly acquired beverage. I’m chilling on my own taking in the atmosphere when suddenly I am introduced to Miss America. The last train has long gone and I’m onto white wine in a goon bag. After narrowly avoiding a street sign, Miss America has navigated safely home where the party will continue until daybreak.

“Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?” The classic Jimi Hendrix tune booms out of the juke box at the Carlton Hotel.

The old bar fly in the corner starts tapping his hand against the bar to the beat of the tune. This is the only pub within the East Perth area that still has a strictly blue collar vibe. A Man’s pub, for the hardened individuals that believe a hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer.

The Pommy lads are at the pool table, waging bets on their 8-ball matches. I guess things are a bit more intensely fun when your wage is on the line. I’m out the front rolling Champion and gulping my pint of Sawn. The conversations in this area are always good value. Real Men unphased by modern technological bullshit.

20

It’s the 31st of December 2012. It is New Year’s Eve in the Como neighbourhood. Since Boxing Day, Perth has been experiencing a heavy heat wave. For the sixth day in a row I am awoken by the intensely hot sun beaming though my window near 7AM. Warm up period is over, that happened at 5AM. It’s just pure hot. I awake and ride my bike to the Canning Bridge jetty. It’s the spot to be in the south on a ridiculously hot day. Jim is already down there hunting for Bream. I climb up the pylons and do a big dive into the deep channel. The shade is so good; it easily takes 10 degrees off the outside temperature. There is always a good crew down at the jetty.

Fishermen exemplify the real Australia. They are outdoor men with tanned skin, wild whiskers and a love for real tobacco. Using the native foods such as smelt and pippies, there is always decent bream to be caught. I finish up around 4pm and then I’m off to Carlisle for some home cooked African food.

It’s my mate’s family friends and the food was fucking amazing. The deep friend prawn fritters are the pick of the bunch. Marceli and his friends are off to the city to front up at some lame bar. I am not in the mood to be stuck in the crowds so I decide to keep it local and cycle down to the Raffles Hotel twenty minutes before the countdown.

The Raffles is a crazy joint, full of older money. I end up spending the evening with two ladies, drinking and talking about some deep stuff. These ladies are on the next level, I get the vibe they are not unfamiliar with witchcraft practises. They had amazing bodies, so if I was going to be a sacrifice to Satan, I could die with voluptuous racks staring me in the face. The night turned out the opposite of my initial reaction. We ended up cruising the burbs in a Blank Benz and doing some meditation blitzed out of our minds. I watched the sun rise over the hills locking lips with a Malaysian goddess. Solid 24 hours.

Welcome to 2013, Canning Bridge style.

Culture

Anything that you can enter the zone is freedom. An activity when you’re totally consumed that nothing else matters. I find that experience in the act of skateboarding. For me there is nothing better than being in the city late at night bombing a big hill. You may go the same route but it is never the same. The streets of cities are always different; the mix of people, construction and traffic.

I love jumping on ledges. The grinds are so loud and when you land your mind is blank. Ollieing gaps is fun to. Smacking the tail down with your back foot, leaping forward and landing at high speed to continue your adventure. Sometimes you fall, but its all good. Getting beat up by the bitumen is just part of the deal. It’s a roller coaster of emotions yet I would not have it any other way.

Over the summer I was privileged enough to hook up with the dudes repping the Beyond logo. These dudes are the ultimate street urchins; down for the cause, creative and humble. You start at the bottom and work your way to the top. Through all the bullshit, it is going down in the streets. That total underground vibe. Hill Street Blues.

The city of Fremantle is amazing. The port location of the town centre keeps the temperatures that bit cooler than anywhere else throughout the summer months. My two favourite locations within the locality are the Wool Stores and the Norfolk Hotel.

Wool stores protects you from the heat in the day. It is also the best place to skateboard ever. Long smooth ledges with legit flat. There’s a roof and a shitload of graffiti. The whole vibe of the place is like no other, especially when it is empty. There is something humbling about being in the presence of about a million red bricks; and a few beers at Clancy’s across the road is well in order. The Norfolk Hotel is a limestone retreat. It is one of the best places to drink beer ever. Underneath is a basement that sometimes has ridiculously good gigs. I was lucky enough to experience the music of the band Red Engine Caves. Their penetrating psychedelic rock rips at your body until you are forced to move it uncontrollably. There is honestly nothing better than raging to heavy rock after a beer filled arvo. On top of this there is also accommodation at the hotel. So if you are lucky enough to experience the comfort upstairs, this venue has the potential for the ultimate night out (drink House lager).

I look forward to many a hot Perth summer as my studies progress to their completion. Soak up everything a city has to offer. That is the whole point of living in one.

P.S. Big ups to ‘Tape’ and the ‘Midnite’ Crew. Holding it down in the realest way possible.

Words By C.G Image by Nathan Paterson

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Culture

“Perth City” (above) & “Birds on a Wire” (below). Photos by Jakob Troy-Johnston

Books

Seven Nights in a Rogue’s Bed Anna Campbell

How Shakespeare Changed Everything Stephen Marche

Unzipped Manon

Seven Nights in a Rogue’s Bed is the latest literary creation penned by award-winning Australian author Anna Campbell. A seductive tale of forbidden pleasure and familiar sacrifice, the novel follows Sidonie Forsythe as she willingly offers herself to the hideous and socially destitute Jonas Merrick in exchange for her sister’s sexual pardon after a gamble doesn’t pay off.

Yet Another book about our most famous playwright. As the title suggests, it surveys the enormous influence of this one author on our language and culture.

The appeal of this book is that the reader need not know much about its subject or even have read any of his plays.

With erotica propelled to the forefront of popular culture, it comes as no surprise that there is an upsurgeance of instructive sex books. Unzipped by Manon claims to hold the secrets and tips to the hottest sex of your life, but I was left feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

Written by a novelist and former college professor, it is clear that he is a devotee of the bard: while he might overstate some of his effects, it is obvious that Shakespeare’s influence extends beyond his works and into our contemporary era.

The cover and title of Unzipped are deceiving. At a glance one would assume it’s simply a guide to great sex. The foreword immediately sets the wrong tone, giving the impression that it deals with women’s empowerment through sexual liberation. The ensuing chapters read like a 1950s guide to proper etiquette and dating. The notions are old fashioned and frankly offensive. For a book that is supposed to be all about delighting in our guiltiest pleasure, it takes whopping 111 pages to get down to business.

The overly descriptive, Mills and Boon-esque novel could be described as a grammatically correct, erotic misadventure. Put simply, if a Jane Austen novel and Fifty Shades of Grey ever decided to procreate, Seven Days in a Rogue’s Bed would be the unfortunate offspring.

The cover art does little to excite, promising nothing more than a cliché romance that the tween next door could’ve thought up before their morning bowl of Cheerios.

As the first novel in the Sons of Sin series I found it incredibly easy to simply put it down and walk away, the average plot line and generic erotica doing next-tonothing to keep me entertained or at the least provide a satisfactory outlet from my self-imposed boredom.

If you are after a casual read to feed your sexually frustration then by all means, give Seven Nights in a Rogue’s Bed a go, but I can guarantee you that your search for satisfaction will inevitably fall short.

A literary mishap that will leave you feeling nothing less than disappointed, Seven Nights in a Rogue’s Bed is nothing more than a well written, erotically cliché, romance novel that are a-dime-a-dozen at the local second hand book store, barely worth the paper it is printed on.

Review by Madeline McKenzie

Among the more ‘interesting’ effects of this playwright are his contributions to our language – for introducing many words and terms into modern English.

Whether he actually coined them or was the first to use them in print cannot be established with certainty.

The other ‘interesting’ effect of his work is in his often-earthy portrayal of sex and sexuality. Not only are his works replete with puns and earthy humour but he also paved the way for the ‘modern’ view of sex as part of life. In this way, Marche sees him as a precursor of Freudian thought.

Of course, there is a chapter on the ‘controversy’ of whether he actually wrote the plays. Since volumes have already been written on this topic, he merely cites the main protagonists and their respective fates.

At less than 200 pages, it is a light read: recommended for all students of English literature.

3.5/5 Reviewed by Andrew Douglas

And it doesn’t stop there, Unzipped is terribly written. It often seems confused and unstructured. There is poor attention to syntax and word choice. The author uses the term “coochie” instead of vagina, something that made me angry every time. All of this added up to a seemingly amateurish attempt at writing.

However, the few final chapters go some way to redeem this horrid book. When Manon actually gets to the good stuff it is quite informative. She briefly touches on all manner of subject: fellatio; sex toys; and fetishes to name a few. Manon includes detailed instructions and some sound advice.

Long winded, offensive and mildly informative Unzipped does little to titillate or excite. If you’re looking for a way to spice things up in the bedroom, or even satisfy your own curiosity I’d cut to the chase and pick up a copy of the Karma Sutra.

1.5/5 Reviewed by Hollie Jenkins

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Books

Fat Chance Dr Robert Lustig

The Carrie Diaries Candace Bushnell

Dr Robert Lustig, a worldwide known paediatric endocrinologist with 31 years of medical practicing, the last 16 of these years being dedicated to treating childhood obesity and the study of sugars effects on metabolism, disease and the central nervous system Lustig has combined his extensive knowledge with that of a plethora of scientific studies, historical fact and recent statistics to produce his highly informative book Fat Chance: The bitter truth about sugar.

This is a book the federal government and food industries have tried to discredit, however are unable to due to scientific evidence.

Close your eyes (if you’re old enough... or if not, imagine) and remember the 80s.

Big hair, bright clothes and badass music.

The times where drive throughs and roller rinks where all the craze and your style was the one thing that set you apart for everyone else.

Lustig has become an advocate, his intentions are to facilitate urgent educative and remedial action which is required to stop the worlds current epidemic of metabolic syndrome, an epidemic which is killing humanity at an alarming rate; the culprit being – SUGAR. Fat Chance is a timely book, which will save lives. It is a must read and an exceptionally well-written book which is easy to read. Lustig has skilfully combined comprehensive physiological, medical, political and economic facts suitable for professionals of all levels usage with simple terminology and concepts suitable for the general reader.

Lustig’s writing style demonstrates obvious academia credibility and expertise in his field, however he expresses his extensive knowledge in a humorous, interesting and conversational flair, which is engaging and easily assimilated.

4/5 Reviewed by Nadenna Natale

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The Carrie Diaries, written by Candace Bushnell (if you imagined it properly) is exactly what you think. Rewind back to the 80s and we’re thrust into a young Carrie’s life just beginning her senior in high school.

Written from her perspective, much like the voice over by her in the TV Show adaption, The Carrie Diaries, essentially is what it is - a diary, following her from her last year of school all the way to New York in hopes of pursuing a writing career, her first dream. But ending with a discovery of a talent for fashion she never knew she had.

This coming of age story touches on many familiar issues that nearly all teenagers face at one time of another. Lending a hand to those who may just be able to understand or relate somehow to, boys, fashion and the big city.

With simple, quirky and fun writing, that is both serious and honest, The Carrie Diaries is a colorful prequel to the much loved and very popular Sex In The City books and TV series. Looking back, if you hadn’t already envisioned what Carrie had looked like, now you can - and with style I might add!

Enjoyable to read, easy to follow and understand, The Carrie Diaries is one to read if you’re a fan, or even if you’re not.

4/5 Review by Gabriella Camera

Fifty Bales of Hay Rachel Treasure Leading rural author Rachel Treasure captivates the audience’s attention with her collection of witty, empowering yet poignant short stories.

Each story gives a tantalising tale of lust and love in rural Australia, where men and women off all ages and situations come together for one common goal, sex.

The stories flow from a sexually naïve student, to frustrated housewives and an emotionally destitute widow. Each story allowing the reader to identify with the passion in each woman, regardless of their age or situation. That despite the monotony of everyday life and the constraints of gender roles, every female has the freedom to ignite their sexual awakening.

The stories allow the audience to identify with the predicaments and personalities of the characters; however the lack of character development ceases any emotional connection. I found once I finished the story, it may have been a thrilling rollercoaster of lust and excitement; however once you got off the ride the fun was gone. Once all the stories were read, they may have been identifiable, however they failed to imprint any lasting thoughts.

Fifty Bales of Hay is a cheeky play on words of its more infamous counterpart, each of the 12 stories containing characters from a wide demographic. Of all the other noted reviews on the novel, the sentiment is all the same, Rachel Treasure’s short stories are basically mummy porn; rural erotica that is bound to get you racing in all the right places.

These stories are perfect if you’re looking for something short and sweet, whilst exciting your senses.

3.5/5 Reviewed by Simone Gordon

Film

Oz the Great and Powerful Director: Sam Raimi Starring: James Franco, Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz We’re off to see the Wizard... I am sure that this story needs no introduction. L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz series has captivated children (and children at heart) for over a century. Dorothy and her iconic red sparkly shoes took us on a voyage to Oz, and we found out at the end of The Wizard of Oz that the Wizard was just a charade.

We found out that he was merely a man hiding behind a curtain.

Oz the Great and Powerful takes us somewhere over the rainbow again and we are made privy of the wizards backstory. James Franco plays the Wizard, who is simply known as Oz the Magician. He is a small time magician who rolls into town and beds the naive young local women and rips off the townspeople. Hardly an upstanding character, and his morals are tested when he hitches a ride on a twister into the beautiful City of Oz. Will he live up to the prophecy and save the people of Oz? You will have to follow the yellow brick road into the cinema and find out for yourself.

About the cast… Franco did a good enough job as the excitable and eccentric Oz, but his character was kind of meek and irritating. The three leading ladies in this film are annoyingly attractive. Mila Kunis is dashing as Theodora in her wide brim hat, bright red lipstick and tight, tight leather pants. Michelle Williams was perfectly cast in the film as Glinda the Good Witch as her luminescent face resembles that of an angel. Finally, Rachel Wiesz is the cherry on top as the deliciously dark and sexy Evanora. Honestly, words cannot express how gorgeous they looked and it was actually kind of distracting at times.

Speaking of beautiful, the cinematography is so good that it makes you feel like you are on magic mushrooms. Oh the spectacle! The scenery is over the top (in a good way). It is kooky, colourful and extremely inventive. The fact that the film is in 3D certainly helped to heighten the experience.

The downside of the film is that the storyline is a little shallow in places. The characters were not as fleshed out as I would have liked them to have been. I think that this comes down to time restraints, as it felt like there was so much being squeezed into a single movie. The stunning visual effects gloss over the weaknesses in the story though. Hence the high review.

Review by Asten Nunn

Jack the Giant Slayer Director: Bryan Singer Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor

Craving some mindless entertainment?

Then Jack the Giant Slayer is the perfect choice. This beautifully constructed fantasy film allows the viewer to get lost in the world of magic beans and giants.

With accomplished director Bryan Singer and an excellent cast of rising stars and Hollywood regulars this should come as no surprise.

Jack the Giant Slayer retells the familiar story of a mischievous boy, a beanstalk and some bloodthirsty giants. There are, however, some minor changes in the plot such as a beautiful princess and a power hungry human villain. There’s comedy, young love and heroic fighting in equal measure.

This film is action packed and fast paced, swiftly moving from seemingly impossible obstacle to obstacle.

Sophisticated in its simplicity the plot is engaging and at times had me gripping the armrest in anticipation.

As someone who is usual vehemently opposed to being forced to adorn the ridiculous 3D glasses, trust me when I say that it is worth it. The picture quality is crystal clear. It is by far the best 3D movie that I have seen. The whole movie appears to have added depth giving the experience of getting lost in the story much more authenticity.

Ultimately this movie is a satisfying experience, everyone loves a happy ending every once in a while. Take the time to get reacquainted with a childhood favourite and allow yourself to be immersed in this fun and family friendly fantasy.

Review by Hollie Jenkins

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Film

Where? Cinema Paradiso. Why? Because France was the birthplace of cinema and the French certainly still know how to make a good movie. The French are also famous for making movies with gratuitous nudity, sex and intrigue. Ooh-la-la! This is the largest foreign film festival in Australia and it showcases the best of modern French cinema. There are many different varieties of film on show: action, romance, drama, comedy, thrillers, children’s films, animation and documentaries. The festival has been going for 24 years now, and 2013 will showcase a fantastic 43 films. You can pick up concession tickets for a reasonable $15. So, it should not be a matter of should I go to the festival or not? It should be more like… which film should I go and see first?

In The House (Dans La Maison) Director: Francois Ozon Starring: Fabrice Luchini, Ernst Umhauer and Kristin Scott Thomas

On Now Perth Festival 2013 (Lotterywest Films) 25th November 2012 – 14th April 2013 Somerville and Joondalup Pines

What unfolded on screen was subtly shocking to me. Director Francois Ozon took every day life, with its funny bits and mundane bits, and wove them together with a fantastical drama.

The end result was a beautifully told story that was utterly nuts.

The annual Perth International Arts Festival is an international multi-arts festival, which has been going for a whopping five decades now! The festival offers some of the world’s best theatre, music, film, visual arts, street arts, literature and free community events. Perth patrons have the chance to see some of the world’s greatest films at some beautiful outdoor cinemas. There are 25 West Australian premieres on show, and the films range from frisky to thought provoking; happy to heartbreaking; and confusing to hilarious. So head along to the outdoor cinema, and sit under the stars with a picnic and some friends. Sounds pretty good, eh?

Included in the story is an affair between a bored housewife and a teenage boy, an unfulfilled lust between a teenage boy and his best friend, a suicide, and an uninspired high school English teacher and his wife acting both as voyeurs and enablers to a very clever, very morally ambiguous young man. All of these elements are presented in such a way that the viewer, though ensnared in the story, is left questioning what is real and what is not.

Coming soon Audi Festival of German Films 2013 9th May – 15th May @ Cinema Paradiso The annual festival is a creative, cultural and transformative journey into the heart of German filmmaking. Nuff said! The full festival run down will not be revealed until mid-March, but there are sure to be many films which will get you talking. Perhaps they will inspire you or engage you. Maybe they will cause you to explore and debate some serious and taboo issues? Who knows?

One thing is for certain, and that is that you will enjoy these films.

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As a preview of the French Film Festival, Alliance Francaise ran In The House one beautiful Saturday morning at Cinema Paradiso.

Enticed by the lure of fresh croissants and the opportunity to pretend to speak French (I took three years in high school), I happily attended the film. Making sure to say “merci” to our host, I was all set for an artsy-fartsy film done in a way only the French know how to do.

The cast of actors includes Fabrice Luchini (the English teacher Germain), Ernst Umahauer (the disturbing Claude), Emmanuelle Seigner (housewife Esther) and a Kristin Scott Thomas (wife of Germain, Jeanne). All turn in excellent performances, especially Kristin Scott Thomas whose French is so superb the viewer forgets that she is actually English. This is a film that makes crazy work well.

Review by Julie Khan

Film

Great Expectations Director: Mike Newell Starring: Helena Bonham Carter, Ralph Fiennes

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Director: Don Scardino Starring: Steve Carrell, Jim Carrey, Steve Buscemi

I came into the cinema with some good background knowledge about the film, as I had read some of the famous novel by Charles Dickens that the movie was based on. Due to this, I had great expectations; no pun intended.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone tells the story of childhood friends Burt and Anton and their rise to magician fame. Burt’s interest in magic started as a child and he started practising with the hope that he might make some friends.

The movie tells the story of a timid orphan boy named Pip and his incredible transformation into a fine English gentleman. Pip faces a great deal of emotional hardship along the journey, and also learns the importance of remembering where you’ve come from, and not forgetting the people who were there for you from the beginning.

The story jumps forward and we learn that they have become popular and successful Las Vegas entertainers. The only problem being that their material hasn’t changed in over a decade and they no longer like each other. Burt’s ego has taken over and he won’t listen to Anton’s advice about updating their show. Just to make matters worse Steve Gray (played by Jim Carrey) arrives with his shock and cringe street shows. He gains huge popularity and amasses followers through his TV show: Steve Gray, Brain Rapist.

Newell did a commendable job with transforming the brilliant classic novel into a two-hour film and I was most impressed. His ability to take the audience back to England in the mid-1800s was satisfactory, and the atmosphere was great. He had previously directed Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, and a few familiar faces from that film appeared in this one.

The acting by Helena Bonham Carter and Ralph Fiennes was absolutely magnificent; and I was delighted to see them fit almost perfectly into their roles. Helena played a familiar role as a mysterious woman by the name of Miss Havisham, and her previous experiences playing mysterious women like Marla Singer in Fight Club meant that she did an outstanding job. I strongly associate Fiennes to his previous role in the Harry Potter series as Lord Voldemort, so to see him act as a compassionate elderly man was a huge shock for me. To my surprise, he did a marvelous job, and his acting in some scenes even brought me to tears more than once during the film.

Overall, Great Expectations was a good film, but I recommend people who have read the novel to watch it, as it can get a bit unclear and confusing at times.

Review by Michelle Rukmarata

Though this is not a hilarious movie, the night that I went to the cinema everybody generally seemed to enjoy the film. There were some clever one-liners, silly situations and characters that you could warm to. However, the film does rely mostly on cringe and slapstick humour.

The actors’ performances were adequate, with Jim Carrey stealing the show every time he was on screen. His character is best described as a psychopath with a disturbing street act. At some point, the audience in the theatre were compelled to look away. Carrey’s line “Magic’s not about pulling rabbits out of a hat anymore. It’s about pulling a heart out of your chest” best describes his shows.

Steve Carrel’s character Burt Wonderstone, transforms through the movie in typical Hollywood style as he remembers why he got into magic in the first place. The formula has worked before so Hollywood uses it over and over and it’s a shame that they didn’t make more of it considering they had such a quality cast. It’s a decent film with a ridiculously funny ending, but the rest could have been great with a bit more script work.

Review by James Blackburn

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Games

Tomb Raider

God of War: Ascension

Lara Croft, the perpetually fantasised and often cos-played first lady of gaming, has been through quite a few renditions in the 10 games that have now been released under the franchise banner but none quite so significant and welcomed as this excellent reboot.

The God of War games have always held a special place in my heart. Ever since I picked up my first PS2 controller I’d always searched for a protagonist that was really going to grab me and shake me to my very foundations. God of War’s Kratos did just that. He wasn’t just an angry guy on a quest for revenge he was wrath personified: every slight, frustration and annoyance that you could name brought to bare in terrible, bloody atrocity – and I liked it.

We find a young Lara on her first expedition heading for a Devil’s Triangle, a dangerous place surrounded by Japanese folklore, said to have been the seat of power to some great and ancient empire. As you might expect the journey is not an easy one: immediately shipwrecked and cut off from her crewmates she is forced to fend for herself while trying to piece together the mysteries of the island and not get murdered by the psychotic local inhabitants.

I cannot begin to tell you how refreshing the new Lara is in comparison to the previous titles with her more realistic physical proportions, smooth animation and excellent voice acting coming together to make a believable, human protagonist.

What Ms. Croft may have changed on the outside has thankfully not changed her die-hard determination and badass skills, quickly becoming accustomed to using a bow and arrow, various firearms and a particularly handy pick-axe. After a short while spending your time accustoming yourself to these weapons, you begin to earn experience and skill points to further enhance her emerging skills as an explorer.

The environments, especially the weather effects, and a sight to behold: there is a moment when you are required to reach the highest point on the island and I stopped several time just to admire the view! The water darkens the fabric of her faded jeans, mattes her hair and washes away the grime from crawling belly first into secret tombs.

These elements blend together perfectly to give a real sense of place, purpose, momentum and gravity to your actions. This is absolutely a must play for any old or new fans of the Tomb Raider franchise!

9 tombs thoroughly raided out of 10 Review by Aron Shick

The latest addition sees our ultra-aggressive Greek “hero” in his early years, before the incredible battles with titans and his endless thirst for vengeance against the gods. When he simply wanted to be rid of the whole messy affair and hide away from his own sins, though it’s hard for me to say that this lives up its legacy.

Graphically this game is exactly what you’d expect from the developer of God of War 3: a visually stunning, constantly shifting series of outlandish environments and monsters all inspired by recognisable themes such as Ancient Egypt, Persia or Greece. The majority of enemies you face, however, are nothing more than re-skins of the previous foes we have fought countless times in every other game in the series, which is quite disappointing.

Where all God of War games shine is in the combat but I have been left with a resounding “meh” after hours and hours of play. I’d always enjoyed how weighty every swing of Kratos’ Blade of Chaos felt and the ability to perform so many different manoeuvres, switching seamlessly between weapons and magic but there’s definitely something off about the way Santa Monica Studios have tweaked the game. Kratos is slower than he’s ever been and his attack feel greatly underpowered compared to any other game in the franchise.

It’s hard coming up with any redeeming features in the plot as well. Since this story was supposed to be about his original betrayal, because it weirdly shies away from letting us play through those early battles in his career as a General in the Spartan armies or the fateful moment when he slew his family, that sent him on this maddening quest for vengeance.

It’s like someone was going through a check-list, marking off all the necessary element of a God of War game but they tore out the still-beating heart of the franchise which, while appropriate, should have been left where it lay.

6 ½ blood splattered Spartans out of 10

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Review by Aron Shick

Games

There has been a growing trend in the gaming that has many questioning the future of the industry: the use (and misuse) of Digital Rights Management.

For those unfamiliar with the term, DRM is a way for producers and developers to exercise greater control over who uses their product and how they are used. Users are required to use some form of personal authentication (such as user created account) to access a game, meaning they must have the account “verified” by the producer/ developer before they can access the title.

This is often impossible without an internet connection, meaning that accessing the game isn’t going to happen, unless you illegally alter the product through cracks and hacks.

The problems with this form of verification process are two-fold: the first being that the actual process of verification is problematic for many, the second being somewhat more mercurial in nature – the rights of the gamer who purchases the game.

The first issue is one of fairness, providing hurdles that potential gamers are required to jump over (or circumvent) if they wish to experience a title. Not every person who owns a PC has access to fast internet, a requirement of verification process, or has access to the internet at all. This is particularly true in places where information technology infrastructure is far behind but modern conveniences are starting to make appearances, such as South Africa. Simply being unable to use your product because of your geography (and not your actual system specs) is something that is becoming a great deal more common.

The second issue is problematic because it involves the legal matters around purchase and ownership. When you buy a game, specifically titles released in the last decade, you are subjected to the “Digital Rights Agreement” pop-up. Most gamers just scroll straight through the 40 or so pages of legal jargon and hit Accept without a second though but it’s this document that is causing the most problems.

Somewhere in all that text is a line that reads “You are purchasing the licence to use the game not the game, or rights to the product, itself” – that’s some devious wording there.

Here is a rough translation: “You are able to purchase a physical copy of a game, install it, play it, enjoy it, but the moment we feel you have breached our legal agreement, we can revoke your ‘license’ to play because you don’t actually own the game do you, just the licence.

Either you hit accept and play, or you hit ignore and don’t – your choice” Now you may think that this is an isolated issue, that there isn’t enough evidence to claim that this is a serious problem in the industry, but you would be wrong.

With the launch of Diablo 3 last year we saw one of the first major triple A title become an “always online” DRM train-wreck: the game, when launched, required that you be constantly connected to the Blizzard servers at all time, regardless of whether you wanted to play with people online or not, meaning that the slightest hiccup in your internet connection meant an immediate shutdown of the game.

To make matters worse you were subjected to the same sort of lag that online players would experience based on massive quantities of players being logged in simultaneously; lag in a single player game.

This was an unacceptable frustration that many rallied against, several even forming a class-action-suit that is still ongoing today, attempting to quell the encroaching tide of “always online” titles. For a time it seemed that perhaps the public outcry may have succeeded in scaring developers into reconsidering this particular form of aggressive control but it was not meant to be.

SimCity, a reboot to the famous franchise from the 90’s of the same name, recently became available – it was not a pretty sight. The vast majority of people were unable to install the game for the first two days because the EA servers were overloaded. Then once that was done the glitches began to pile up with several unable to connect to servers even though they were obviously functional, several more not able to access any of their exclusive content reserved for pre-order customers, and all having issues saving their progress: the game wasn’t working right because DRM was required and everybody knew it, including EA. It will be almost a month after launch when this goes to print but if the last two weeks have been any indication of what the future hold, it might be worth keeping a console nearby for when the next big title comes our way… and is buried in a wave of unnecessary, overly complicated DRM that does nothing but inhibit the games we all just want to play.

Words by Aron Shick

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Music

Bad Blood Bastille

The Messenger Johnny Marr

Debuting at number one in the UK, the British born ensemble, brought together by singer-songwriter Dan Smith, have a strikingly unique sound incorporating elements of RnB and indie-pop into each of the 12 songs on the album.

The Messenger is the first solo offering by indie rock veteran, Johnny Marr. The beautifully crafted album sounds polished and cohesive. A truly exciting contribution to the new music emerging in 2013.

Marr has had an impressive and varied career. He broke onto the scene, making his mark as a unique talent alongside Morrissey in The Smiths. The years that followed saw multiple collaborations with the likes of Modest Mouse, Oasis and more recently The Cribs. He is considered a sage within the industry even gaining praise from the notoriously difficult Noel Gallagher.

March Fires Birds of Tokyo Oh, Birds of Tokyo. How I was looking forward to listening to your music properly for the first time.

Birds of Tokyo are a Perth based band who also have the added benefit of being recommended to me by a few of my music-savvy friends. From then on, the seed was planted.

Unfortunately, the reaping fell flat. March Fires has plenty of promise, certainly, but too much of the album felt monotonous with only a few musical gems amongst a series of tracks that sound just like each other.

March Fires’ overall sound could best be described as being soft with a musical bite hidden underneath. Guitar lines are sparse; sounding directly influenced

by U2’s guitarist The Edge. Vocals and keyboards are right where they need to be.

Mixed feelings were felt when listening to the tracks in order. The album’s first track, Liquid Arms, was certainly an excellent way to start the album, crescendoing throughout, growing with intensity. The peak of the album, White Leaves, came too late amongst a series of songs that sounded too much like each other. It was like waiting five minutes for your car to warm up, then when you get on the highway, your tank runs out. Thrill’s gone.

Without a doubt my favourite track from ‘Bad Blood’ is ‘Oblivion’, the eerily beautiful instrumentation accompanied

by Dan Smith’s hypnotic vocals enough to make you sit back and just listen, stopping you in your tracks entirely.

Other standout tracks include ‘Daniel In the Den’, ‘Pompeii’ and ‘Flaws’.

Mind you there isn’t a single track that disappoints throughout the whole album, an eclectic collection of upbeat and dance-around-your-kitchen-in-yourtrackies-like-an-idiot numbers as well as numerous soft, meaningful ballads that will continue to amaze you no matter how many times you listen to them.

Recently crowned god-like Genius by NME, Marr proves his worth with this 12 track album. Maintaining the essence that is Marr’s hypnotic guitar, this album demonstrates his extraordinary talent.

The songs range from catchy and upbeat, smooth and melodic to melancholic. Making it the perfect soundtrack for almost any occasion.

Subconsciously I think I was expecting an album reminiscent of The Smiths, however I was delighted to discover an entirely new sound. Lyrically the songs are sophisticated but remain accessible.

All of the tracks are intricate, feeling both precise and effortless. They function perfectly together, weaving the album into cohesion. Simultaneously they are strong enough to stand alone.

March Fires is by no means a bad album, for all the band’s intents and purposes their sound is different enough to be a success. However, the surprise factor ebbs away when too much of this difference sounds the same.

I am in love with the musical genius that is Bastille and given the chance I can guarantee you will be too. Definitely worth a listen!

Review by Madeline McKenzie

I’ve quickly become enthralled with this album, unable to tear myself away. Great for getting your groove on or even a quiet night in. I cannot praise The Messenger enough, as words fail to express the joy at discovering this gem. An album that firmly cements Marr’s position in the music industry, proving his god-like genius.

Review by Stephen Corker

9/10

Review by Hollie Jenkins

7/10

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Lyrically speaking, Dan Smith and his kin excel, each track denoting a new and unique message accompanied by the bands’ equally as distinctive musical styling. The overall composition of the tracks on the album a stellar example of how to draw in an audience from the opening chords of the opening song, ‘Pompeii’, taking them on a journey until the closing chords of ‘Get Home’.

The introduction to ‘Icarus’ alone is hauntingly beautiful, gradually building and evolving into a musical masterpiece.

10/10

Music

Battle Plans Warning Birds Indie rock band Warning Birds have recently released their debut EP Battle Plans, a unique and cinematic album driven by the band’s own stories and experiences.

The album has a variety of different sounds and creative lyrics. It opens with a short but sweet and innocent prologue entitled ‘View from the Tower’. This piano solo constructing a beautiful image of a lonely beach, building and receding like the tide.

The album varies in mood and tempo.

‘Dark Places’, and ‘Sally’ are not unique but are still enjoyable with somewhat clear, smooth and inspired lyrics from Carmody. Despite being inspired by the storytelling and realism of Paul Kelly and Bruce Springsteen’s music Warning Birds’ overall sound is more akin to Tim Finn from Split Enz. I enjoyed the well-constructed backing vocals in Battle Plans, which contains a standout melody from the distorted lead guitar, giving the track it a true indie rick vibe.

I was most delighted with ‘I Tell the Water of You’, the tone of Carmen Pepper’s beautifully calm vocals combining perfectly with the violins on the track.

The reverb vocals at the end enhance the story well, with the haunting line “speak to the water and I tell the water my fears”.

It tells a brilliant but a depressing story about a girl who is dealing with abuse at a young age in a place that should be her haven.

Overall, the album is inventive in its storytelling and is easy to listen to. I would give it a try if you’re looking for some decent indie rock with some heart and soul.

Review by James Blackburn

Hurry, Harry Simone and Girlfunkle While you would be excused for assuming the obvious - that Perth folk band, Simone and Girlfunkle, are some generic Simon and Garfunkle cover band, trying to make their way into the music world by ripping off some of the greats – you would be wrong. Simone and Girlfunkle have their own unique styling, a mixture of folk and pop infused with a smooth as honey sound and some deep lyrics that had me going, ‘oh, what did she just say?’

I am admitting that the first listen of their new album, Hurry, Harry, had me somewhat uninterested. I had to persevere though and around track six, the beat picked up and woke me up from that deep-music-like trance and I bounced around the house a bit. I thought that the album shone after half of the tracks on the album had already played through, the first five songs too similar to each other in their overall themes and sound.

Instrumentally, Simone and Girlfunkle have it going on. Focusing on instruments such as the cello and the clarinet bringing in a jazzy feel to some songs, cleverly entwining with the folksy elements of some of the tracks.

Simone and Girlfunkle are a predominately a female band, with only two males in amongst the four women. I initially had issues with this, thinking there was going to be a malebashing/women-run-the-world-type theme embedded in each of the songs, but it may be the furthest thing from it. As Xpress magazine put it so nicely, ‘they make me think of driving a long country road on a cold sunny day, where the light seems brighter than possible.’

While I thought Hurry, Harry would be reminiscent of popular bands such as The Lumineers and Mumford and Sons, it definitely wasn’t. If you’re picking the album up because of that, don’t; give these Perthians a go for their own style. Oh, and hit up track nine, ‘Seasides’, definitely a favourite, wow-oh-wow.

Review by Jessi Ford .

8 / 10

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