How To Befriend A Ghost - A guide Izzy French .......................................................................pages

How to Befriend a Ghost - A Guide

Are your doors slamming open when there’s no wind? Do you find yourself wondering what’s making that scratching noise in the ceiling? Dear reader, your house may be inhabited by a ghost! DO NOT PANIC!

While this may be concerning to some, be honest with yourself: you need someone to talk to, and this is cheaper than therapy, even with the Medicare rebates. Here’s a certified Dircksey guide to befriending the paranormal.

Leave Out Gifts Everyone loves gifts, and that includes the phantoms of the deceased! Do not worry if you can’t afford things, for most spirits treasure sentiment over monetary value. Leave out gifts like a shiny stone, a loose string or a collection of soda tabs on a table for your resident poltergeist to make them feel special and treasured themselves.

Ask Questions It may be polite to ask questions to get to know your friends, but it’s darn near required to befriend a ghost. If you want to bring out the Hasbro-branded Ouija board you can, but a good “once for yes, twice for no” with a window that slams tends to work better in my experience. Introduce Yourself A relationship is always twosided, so make sure you’re not focusing too much on your friend-in-apparition. Discuss your day, your opinions, your thoughts. Just as you enjoy their company, they too should enjoy yours.

Keep Them Up to Date With Current Events These chained immortal beings may have observed the land in which they cannot leave, often the intricacies of international culture and politics are not available to our poor poltergeist friends. Next time you lay down to watch TikToks, feel free to give the ghost some space next to you as you scroll through videos of Jimmy Fallon hitting a whip and nae nae to the Biden administration.

Set Clear Boundaries These dead spirits are from an older age, and may not know what a break is, or what taking some space and time to yourself means. Looking after and interacting with a ghost is hard work, so don’t ignore your mental health during all of this.

With that, your training in ghost befriending is complete! Now go and befriend some see-through folks, and share optimism and positivity with the world.