FYI Express - December 2016 by Eddie Emmett

More Tips & “How-To” videos at www.FYIExpress.com

EXPRESS “What You Don’t Know Can’t Help You!” … Eddie K. Emmett, Editor / Publisher

Extreme Insurance Agency Branding in the Digital Age Localize, Socialize, and Mobilize Marketing One page for each major line of insurance is not enough.

Prospects fall into one of two major categories. 1. They have an immediate need and search online. 2. They fit the profile of a qualified prospect and need to be made aware of the products and services.

Prospects do not really care about all of the products and services when searching for something specific.

Your agency should show up whenever a prospect seeks the products and services offered by your agency.

Internet Search favors the web pages that speak exclusively about the keywords or phrases searched.

And you should have in place an inexpensive way to share your brand with highly qualified prospects.

Each web page should have enough text to include keywords but include videos that answer the reason for the search.

This article is filled with ideas for Extreme Insurance Agency Branding in the Digital Age.

Each web page should have a Call-To-Action (CTA) requiring a minimum amount of personal information. Each web page should feature a video welcome from the office staff. Each web page should be responsive. A responsive template/theme adapts the display to the visitor no matter if they are using a desktop, tablet, or mobile phone. You need to create and maintain unlimited web pages for each of your products and services If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com

Website All marketing should lead back to the website for the business. Each business should have individual web pages that speak specifically about whatever product or service was searched.

www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com Continued on page 2

FYI Express

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December 2016

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Localize, Socialize, and Mobilize Marketing Continued from page 1

YouTube Google owns YouTube and loves to feature YouTube videos as the answer to a prospect’s online search. Localize

Each location should have its own YouTube channel.

Claim Your Listings No one can guarantee getting your agency listing on page #1 in local search. But there are a few ways that seem to be the magic formula to accomplish that goal.

You need to create and maintain a custom YouTube Channel for your agency. If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free:

The business listing for each location should be claimed on all search engines and online directories.

www.AgentsFirst.org

You need to claim and update all major online search engines and online directories

www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com

www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com

www.Georgia-Agents.com

If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com

FYI Express

www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com Each location should have customized informative videos on all their products and services. Chances of being on page #1 in search are dramatically increased by including contact information and keywords in the video title and description. You need to create and upload unlimited promotional YouTube videos for free. Continued on page 4

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December 2016

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Localize, Socialize, and Mobilize Marketing Continued from page 2 If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com

Socialize

www.Georgia-Agents.com

Facebook

www.SIAoF.com

Facebook Business Page is mandatory in this day and age.

www.SHISPA.com YouTube is also a great place to showcase referrals from satisfied clients. You need to customize unlimited satisfied client videos with CTA’s for your business If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free:

Facebook is for Branding, getting free or inexpensive exposure. Think of it as custom billboards in the face of qualified prospects. You need to create and maintain a custom Facebook Business Page for your agency If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free:

www.AgentsFirst.org

www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com

www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com

www.Georgia-Agents.com

www.SIAoF.com

www.SHISPA.com

www.SHISPA.com Continued on page 6

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December 2016

More Tips & “How-To” videos at www.FYIExpress.com Localize, Socialize, and Mobilize Marketing Continued from page 4 It should have shareable information that is relevant to the products and services posted at least 3 times a week. You need to post relevant information on your Facebook Business Page at least 3 times a week If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com

Facebook ad campaigns are the most effective way to promote your brand to laser-target qualified prospects.

www.SIAoF.com

The cost is usually less than a penny each to reach the folks who fit the demographics of your ideal customer.

www.SHISPA.com

If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org It is also a great place to post the video referrals from satisfied clients.

www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com

You need to customize unlimited satisfied client videos with CTA’s for your business

www.Georgia-Agents.com

If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free:

www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com Continued on page 8

www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com

FYI Express

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December 2016

Specialized Coverage for Beauty, Nail & Barber Needs SIU offers specialized insurance protection for beauty, nail, and barber target markets. Coverage options are designed for the unique needs and challenges of salon owners that provide comprehensive insurance coverage including professional liability in most cases.

Product Highlights:    

Program Features:    

Target Market:

Available either on an admitted or nonadmitted basis General liability limits available to $1,000,000/$2,000,000 Minimum premium is $350 Umbrella limits available to $5,000,000

    

Hot Tub, Jacuzzi, Sauna, Steam Room (Eligible):    

Must have clearly posted warnings & directions for use Tamper-resistant thermostats required Emergency shut-off's must be located in the same area Timers for automatic shut-off required

For more information, please contact SIU's Commercial Property & Casualty department for quick quotes and competitive pricing! CommPC5@siuins.com

678.498.4775

Professional liability is included at policy limits - Salon & Beauty only (no Spa) Business income available Non-owned and Hired Automobile coverage available Workers Compensation

www.siuins.com

Barbers Beauticians Cosmetologists (may do makeup, facials, body wraps, wig fittings) Electrologists Estheticians (includes myotology & Galvanic current machine services)

Acceptable:   

All beauticians, barbers, estheticians, and massage therapists must be licensed if required by the state Spray tanning Services covered may include: o Hair o Nails o Facials o Electrology o Make-up o Massage o Tanning o Limited Spa Services o Hydrotherapy o Waxing

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eNewsletters Your business should stay in touch with clients and prospects. The best way is to publish eNewsletters on a regular basis. The eNewsletters should contain information that is welcomed by the recipient and not a sales letter.

Mobilize Doing all of the above keeps your business “Top of Mind” for whenever the prospect needs your product or service.

You should publish just before major holidays at a minimum. You need to create and distribute custom eNewsletters as often as you wish

Prospects should be able to find your business with whatever device they use in their search.

In the USA, 94% of people with smartphones search for local information on their phones. Interestingly, 77% of mobile searches occur at home or at work, places where desktop computers are likely to be present. You need to make your web presence into a responsive landing page that adapts the display to the visitor no matter if they are using a desktop, tablet, or mobile phone. Continued on page 10

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December 2016

For Dwelling and Mobile Home Insurance, put your trust in a company that has been insuring homes for over 50 years.

Owner

Tenant

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• $100,000 Maximum Policy Limits

• $125,000 Maximum Policy Limits • Homeowners AAIS Form 8 Policy • AAIS Form 1Commission Policy • 15% NewBasic and Renewal

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National Security has provided competitive, affordable insurance to policyholders for over 50 years, but we also provide a lot for our agents, with competitive commissions, excellent customer service and experienced company adjusters. As an admitted Southeastern based regional company, National Security prides itself on fast, efficient service from a friendly small town company, and online access for all agents, providing fast quotes, online policy issuance, online dec page printing, and real-time policy information.

We are now accepting new appointments. Find out more by calling Sharon at 1-800-239-2358 x213 or visiting us at nationalsecuritygroup.com.

• Inspections Provided by Company

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• Easy Payment Options – Monthly • Tenant Schedule Option EFT, Quarterly, Semi-annual, Annual

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Elba, Alabama • 800-239-2358 x213 • www.nationalsecuritygroup.com

More Tips & “How-To” videos at www.FYIExpress.com Localize, Socialize, and Mobilize Marketing

Dare to Compare

Continued from page 8 If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com Your contact information should be stored on your client or prospect’s phone. I’ll show you how to do it without having the client enter the information themselves If you are a member in good standing with one of the following organizations, I’ll teach you how to do it for free: www.AgentsFirst.org

 Does your Digital Marketing Company create and maintain unlimited web pages for each of your products and services  Does your Digital Marketing Company claim and update all major online search engines and online directories  Does your Digital Marketing Company create and upload unlimited promotional YouTube videos  Does your Digital Marketing Company customize unlimited satisfied client videos with CTA’s for your business  Does your Digital Marketing Company post relevant information on your Facebook Business Page at least 3 times a week  Does your Digital Marketing Company create unlimited Facebook ad campaigns  Does your Digital Marketing Company create and distribute custom eNewsletters as often as you wish I doubt you can find any individual willing and able to do all of the above. If your Digital Marketer is not doing all the above, you’re missing out on qualified prospects.

www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com

If you spend more than $295.00 per month for all of the above, you’re spending too much.

www.Georgia-Agents.com

If you are required to sign a contract for a guaranteed period of time, you are making a mistake.

www.SIAoF.com www.SHISPA.com

If you have to pay a penalty for early cancellation of the contract, you should have read the fine print. Doing all of the above tasks on a regular basis is vital to the success of your business.

Want to know more? Join one or more of these organizations:

Doing it by yourself can be a time-consuming and an obviously amateurish undertaking.

www.AgentsFirst.org www.AllianceInsuranceAgentsNC.com

It needs to be done in a professional manner. Besides that, you don’t make your money by doing your own digital marketing.

www.AardvarkInsuranceAcademy.com www.Georgia-Agents.com

You make your money through sales and service.

www.SIAoF.com

So how much should it cost to have all of the following done for your business?

www.SHISPA.com Then call Eddie K. Emmett at (770) 312-2342 or send an e-mail to eddie@fyiexpress.com.

FYI Express

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December 2016

www. Accessible

.com Simple

Reliable

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Aﬀordable Secure

Management & Rating

AccuAgency provides a secure location for all your agency's customer data. Disaster-proof your data, improve E&O documentation, enhance operational efficiency, and boost your profitability. When you are empowered by AccuAgency, your clients are provided more personal attention. Your staff can devote more time to customer service instead of dealing with unorganized files and documents.

Cloud-based rating and management at your ﬁngertips

If you write auto insurance and represent multiple auto insurance carriers, AccuAuto, our personal auto comparative rater, is aﬀordable, easy-to-use, and fully integrated with our AccuAgency agency management system.

Take AccuAgency and AccuAuto for a test drive

If you would like to try AccuAgency and/or AccuAuto for a risk-free 30-day demo, please call (800) 229-2009 ext. 3. One of our training staﬀ will schedule hands-on training to help you learn and appreciate the many features available.

(800) 229-2009 ext 3 Mention code FYI sales@accuagency.com Request more info at http://www2.accuagency.com/fyi

Announcing AccuAgency: New Name, New Look, Same Great Company! Assurance Systems, Inc., is best known by its long-standing product name, AccuAuto. Many agents still refer to us as AccuAuto, but an update is long overdue. For years we have offered independent insurance agents more than just an auto rater. Our new name, AccuAgency, encompasses our suite of products, including AccuAuto rater, AccuHome rater, AccuAgency management system, and AgencyThrive web marketing and website services. The name AccuAgency emphasizes our commitment to help independent agents be more efficient, productive, and successful in an increasingly competitive market. As we officially adopt our new name this January, we are also excited that 2016 marks our 30th year in business, still under the same ownership and still committed to supporting the independent agent. Only our name has changed, we are the same great company with the same great service. AccuAgency looks forward to supporting you, the independent agent, for many years to come. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re excited about our name change and about offering agents a variety of products to Get Your Agency In Check!

A complete web-based system that integrates agency management and document storage all in one easy-to-use service. Loaded with features to help organize and run your agency. Fully integrated with our AccuAuto comparative rating where available.

If you write auto insurance and represent multiple auto insurance carriers, you know how timeconsuming it can be to enter the same quote on each carrier's website. Auto rates are always changing. You may be familiar with the rates and underwriting rules for a company one day, but they may change the next. With AccuAuto, you always have the most current rates and underwriting rules in one easy-to-use, web-based service

A new product in our line-up, and only available in certain areas, AccuHome capitalizes on our many years of experience with comparative rating to add a new tool to your arsenal for writing homeowner policies.

Do you need a website for your insurance agency? Absolutely. If you don't have one (or you do, but it isn't getting any traffic), you are missing out on the fastest growing marketing tool for insurance there is. We believe in creating a simple, clean, professionally designed site for your agency. But this is just the first step. Getting visitors to your site is step two, and we can help with that. We will do the work involved in claiming your agency listings and marketing. Need a phone number changed or have a great new photo of your staff you want added to your site? You can reach us by email and phone for any updates or questions. Support is always included with an AgencyThrive website.

Visit us at http://www2.accuagency.com/fyi.

About Assurance Systems, Inc. Since 1986, Assurance Systems, Inc., has offered a variety of services for independent insurance agencies, in addition to custom solutions and analytical products for insurance carriers.

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Why should I join your organization? We have a better idea! GIAA MEMBERS GET MORE!             

Login to Password Protected Pages FREE Promotional Video FREE Classified Ads FREE Personal Lines Agent Prelicensing FREE Limited Subagent Prelicensing FREE 24 hour Online CE FREE CSR Online Training FREE Management Tips FREE On-Demand Owner Training Tips FREE Web Marketing Tutorials FREE Facebook Business Page FREE Facebook Content FREE YouTube Channel

We have created the only Virtual Insurance Agent Organization. Our benefits are designed to help agencies in every aspect of their operation and all of it is done on the Internet. It is delivered in a combination of “How-To” videos, interactive quizzes and breaking-news. Just last month I created the “Complete CSR Training” program. Enjoy learning for a change. Next month I’ll be rolling out the “Complete Insurance Agency Owner Training” program. We already have a library of “How-To” booklets on a wide range of agency topics. Want to create a YouTube channel or Facebook for your agency. We have a booklet that takes you by the hand.

It’s that time of year when you should be questioning all expenses.

Want to set realistic goals for your CSRs and Producers? It’s in the library.

Membership in an agent’s organization used to mean something.

Want to know how to evaluate, buy & sell a “Mom & Pop” insurance agency? I wrote the book based upon my decades of ownership experience.

You need to check out other options before you join or renew your membership. Better yet, call them up and ask “Why should I join your organization?” Don’t be surprised if you get a rambling answer with no real benefits that directly impact your bottom line.

We have a better idea. Join www.Georgia-Agents.com.

FYI Express

All agency staff members are included for one low fee of $99.00 per year. No hidden fees, no discounted programs. Just to show you how strongly I believe we offer more value for less money, I challenge everyone to dare to compare, dollar for dollar, our benefits against any other organization. If you can prove to me that some other organization has better benefits, I’ll give you a free year’s membership in our organization.

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More Tips & “How-To” videos at www.FYIExpress.com 4. Not Being Easily Accessible – How long does it take to reach a live person on the phone. Or, to put another way, how easy are you to connect with? Doing business should be easy. Take the friction out of connecting with your support and sales people.

Ten Crimes Against the Customer

5. Putting Them on Hold for Too Long – This is another way to disrespect your customer’s time. With the technology available today, you can inform the customer of how long the wait will be and give him or her the choice of being called back within that time or a time that is more convenient to the customer. There’s no longer an excuse to keep customers on hold for unreasonable periods of time. 6. Failing to Resolve Their Issues Quickly – When there is a problem or a complaint, don’t let it linger. Take care of it as fast as possible. Acting with urgency builds confidence and makes the customer feel as if you care about taking care of their problem. 7. Not Giving Them Opportunity to Solve Issues on Their Own – Self-service options for customer service are becoming the norm. Many people would rather get answers on their own, so give them the opportunity to do so. Provide options like a frequently asked questions section on your website. 8. Ignoring them on Social Media – The customer’s voice can now be heard by many. Be sure to respond – and do it quickly – to all customers’ comments, good and bad. If there is a problem or question, realize the customer expects an answer quickly, not hours or even days from when they posted or messaged you on social media.

Are you guilty of disrespecting your customers? That’s a rhetorical question, and I’m sure the answer is no. At least I hope the answer is no. Our friends at Provide Support sent over an awesome infographic about different reasons customers don’t like the companies they do business with. I don’t think you’ll disagree with any of the reasons, and you’ll probably hope that your company is not guilty of what I call Crimes Against the Customer. With that said, here are ten of the more flagrant wrongdoings companies are guilty of, along with some of my commentary: 1. Not Appreciating Loyalty – I’m amazed at the number of companies that take customers for granted. At least say thank you. I recently made a purchase at a store and the cashier didn’t even bother to say, “thank you.” 2. Not Valuing Their Time – My dad taught me one of the most disrespectful things you can do to anyone (especially a customer) is to be late. If you say you’ll be somewhere or will call someone back at a certain time, do it. It is basically saying your time is more important than theirs, which is very disrespectful. 3. Not Providing Clear Contact Information – I hate going on a website and having to hunt for an address or phone number. Make it easy to connect with you and your company.

9. Lack of Employee Knowledge – If you want to destroy credibility, put untrained people on the front line. Knowledge creates confidence. If an employee doesn’t have the answer, that’s okay. Just make sure they know who to go to or where to go to get the answer. 10. Being Rude or Unfriendly – With all of the options that customers have to buy similar good and services from competitors, how can anyone act rude or unfriendly toward the customer? Enough said on that one! So, if you like these, then be sure to check out the original infographic. There’s actually fifteen Crimes Against the Customer with interesting stats and facts to support each one. Great information that may help you stay away from being found guilty by your customers. Shep Hyken, CSP, CPAE is a customer service expert, hall-of-fame speaker and New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author. He works with organizations to build loyal relationships with their customers and employees. He is also the creator of The Customer Focus, a customer service training program that helps organizations develop a customer service culture and loyalty mindset. For more information contact (314) 692-2200 or www.Hyken.com For information on The Customer Focus™ customer service training programs go to www.thecustomerfocus.com. Follow on Twitter: @Hyken Copyright ©MMXVI, Shep Hyken – www.Hyken.com

FYI Express

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December 2016

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When buying E&O, limits should be the primary focus Imagine the scenario; your agency has just been advised that you are being sued in an E&O matter. Would you rather have $1,000,000 limit of liability and a $1,000 deductible or a $2,000,000 limit and a $5,000 deductible? I would trust that most would prefer the higher limits but with the higher deductible. This is very sound thinking. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In fact, if this issue were to be surveyed, I would imagine a significant percentage of respondents would choose the lower deductible as opposed to a higher limit when securing their E&O.

Look at a couple of higher limit options with some corresponding higher deductible options. This will enable you to make an educated decision. A word of advice, especially for smaller agencies: One of the deductible options may involve going from a loss only deductible (where the agency only pays their deductible if a judgment has been made against them) to a combined deductible where the agency will now have an obligation to incur part of the defense costs. The suggested approach, once again for small to medium size agencies is to stick with the loss only deductible. You might pay a couple of dollars more but it is the more conservative approach.

The advantage of focusing on the E&O limit is that this is the “unknown”. More E&O Tips at http://www.agentseotips.com When an agency is sued, the potential dollars at stake are an unknown, more so if the underlying coverage involves liability coverage of some type. One of the more significant trends that E&O carriers are experiencing is an increase in severity which is a measure of the final settlement of the claim. Overall, Agents E&O claims are being settled for bigger dollars than in the past. In looking at the deductible side of the equation, if one were to take a $5,000 deductible as opposed to the $1,000 (in my scenario above), the potential impact to the agency is “known”. Essentially it is a $4,000 difference. Most agencies can absorb a $4,000 difference as opposed to a $250,000 difference when they find out they did not have enough E&O limits. A common scenario is to buy a higher deductible and “invest” the savings by securing a higher E&O limit. This issue is one that should get a lot of attention when securing your initial coverage or at renewal time. Do not hesitate to ask the underwriter / broker / association (whoever you are dealing with in the securing of coverage) for options. FYI Express

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Questions? Contact Eddie K. Emmett at eddie@fyiexpress.com or (770) 312-2342. UH

December 2016

Go to www.EandOQuote.com for more information

More Tips & â&#x20AC;&#x153;How-Toâ&#x20AC;? videos at www.FYIExpress.com

First, clearly identify the problem. Then move forward in finding the solution The Producer Online IN ACTION is a monthly reminder of how you can turn the knowledge gained from The Producer Online into powerful sales opportunities. A 400 pound hog and the vehicle Virginia was occupying collided at 4:00 AM. She said she was returning home from a business-related trip to a casino. Her employer argued that the trip was for pleasure and denied her workers compensation benefits.

Any coverage available to Virginia is from the Workers Compensation Policy Part One. Whether or not Virginia's loss is actually covered is not defined within the policy though. Part One of the policy explains that payment is based on the workers compensation law of the applicable state. This means that the decision reached in this particular case might not apply to a case in another state because of differences in their workers compensation laws. Click here to review the PF&M analysis of the Workers Compensation Policy.

Working from home

Was she working or having fun when she hit the hog?

Virginia was seriously injured as a passenger when the vehicle she was in struck a 400-pound wild hog. The injury resulted in the use of a back brace for 90 days following her release from the hospital. She filed a workers compensation claim with her employer, Pearl River Resort (PRR) and its carrier denied coverage. Virginia worked out of her home as an "off-property director of player development" whose responsibility was to gather information on gaming centers. She argued that the accident occurred while she was performing her duties as such. PRR argued that her visit to a casino at 4:00 AM with her sister was pleasure travel and was not business related. The Workers Compensation Commission agreed with Virginia and PRR appealed. Click here to see how the appellate court ruled.

Deciding coverage

Virginia's job required a very flexible schedule so PRR allowed her to work from home and to set her own schedule. This worked well for everyone until this argument occurred. Many other employers are also finding that the traditional "8-5 work from the office" approach doesn't work for their employees and, likewise, their customers. Click here for a recent Rough Notes article about how working from home can be a perfect solution.

Home-based exposures Working from home is becoming more common. When such work is on behalf of an employer, that employer's insurance will provide needed workers compensation and general liability coverage. However, what if there is no employer-employee relationship? An independent contractor working out of his or her home has a number of exposures that are probably not covered under a homeownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s policy. Click below for PF&M articles that can help develop the business exposure and explain coverage that is available. Home-based Business Questionnaire Home-based Business Considerations HO 07 01-Home Business Coverage

FYI Express

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December 2016

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More Tips & â&#x20AC;&#x153;How-Toâ&#x20AC;? videos at www.FYIExpress.com Jewish Comedians. Some people miss the old kind of (Yiddish) humor. Not a single swear word in their comic routines as shown below: A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-inlaw to the airport. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me! ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in case you should call." ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two choices for dinner - Take it or leave it. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his father he has a part in the play. He asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The father scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea . ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night. This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!" ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?" ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!" ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears. " Doctor: "Don't answer!" ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started." ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------A man called his mother in Florida . "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." FYI Express

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December 2016