FATHER P. CLIP

Bringing hope, peace and unity to the good brethren of business supplies

The good Father reflects on a difficult year, gets in the Christmas spirit, and looks forward to a (hopefully) less challenging 2022

W

ell, it’s hard to believe it’s that time of year again. We’re now coming up to the end of a year in office products which has been like no other; full of COVID issues, Brexit issues, stock issues and eating too many biscuits whilst working from home issues. I would be glad it’s coming to an end if it wasn’t for the fact that it apparently isn’t - the forecast for next year doesn’t seem to draw a pretty picture. Most of our industry gurus are predicting more of the same problems we’ve had this year, although I think that’s how they make their living; if everything was good in our world we wouldn’t call on them to make us more miserable - and the more miserable we are the more money they make.

I don’t want to exaggerate, but our backorder list stretches halfway down the main street as Mrs O’ Reilly - who looks after our HR, EORI, recruitment, order fulfilment and warehousing - still insists on printing it all out. Helping the environment means nothing to her even though it’s very much at the forefront of how we do business. We preach to the customers about green products, and try to act as an example to them, but one of them tripped over the back-order report last week on the way to get their lunch and is threatening to sue us. Mrs O’ Reilly thinks that climate change has been made up by hipsters in the office supplies trade so that they can sell more of their green products.

The festive season is almost upon us, however, so we must be merry! Think of all the nice things the office supplies industry can still offer us, like the annual Christmas party - where there is always a fight - and the annual Christmas visits to our top customers with tins of sweets and bottles of wine which will, ultimately, cost more than the profit we’ve made from this year as there hasn’t been anyone in their offices.

Christmas gifts to customers are always a tricky thing to get right; some companies won’t accept bottles of wine because it’s seen as a bribe, so we just put it in an empty toner box - which is fine unless they then put it in their printer.

It’s been a difficult time for most, but I hope that it improves soon, and I hope you all have a very merry Christmas.