FATHER P. CLIP

Bringing hope, peace and unity to the good brethren of business

The good Father ponders where everyone is working now...is it at home with Jaffa Cakes or is it in the office discussing COVID?

A

re people back in offices or not? That’s the question everyone in our office is asking - we don’t even know if we are all back in our office yet so it’s really hard to work out. We can’t believe a word our sales reps say either; they’ve told me on a few occasions that a customer is fully back and operational only for me to visit and be greeted by the sight of a robot with a vaccination checker built-in asking for a photo of myself and then telling me that s/he is the only one on the premises.

Some customers have said they won’t be back until January, and some have said that they might be in the office, but they might not. I’ve almost given up at this stage and I’m resigned to the fact that the rest of my working career might just involve visiting people in their home office and taking orders for one rubber, one pencil and a box of paperclips.

Does anyone know what they are doing at all these days? I’ve heard people saying how they love the freedom of working from home but then, in the same sentence, almost crying about how much weight they’ve put on because they work near their kitchen.

Make up your minds people! You either like working from home, or you like working in the office! From what I can see, in our office, people spend 90% of their day drinking coffee and talking about COVID, so it’s not as if you are going to have to work harder if you aren’t at home.

At least being in an office enables you to see other people and interact. When I’m at home the only interaction I have is with the dog and a packet of Jaffa Cakes. I’ve stopped doing Zoom calls because it means I must put my cassock on - I started running out of answers when people were asking why they could only see the top of my head in meetings.

I feel as though my face has been analysed like never before; I’ve a scar above my right eye from when I jumped off the top of the confession box and, all of a sudden, that incident has become a topic of conversation in the village all over again.

I hope everything gets back to normal soon if only to stop all the confusion and stressful gossip.