Why comparing only leads to despairing

What SBLs achieve on a daily basis is nothing short of superhero capability and sometimes I think you need reminding of that. Especially when you don’t feel super in the slightest. The thing is, recently, I’ve noticed SBLs calling other SBLs ‘super-SBLs’ - but in a way that means that they don’t see themselves as super. It’s a label we give to others but never to ourselves. It’s like a two-tier system!

Often, it’s totally subconscious but it’s also totally real...

These are the ‘other’ SBLs - i.e. anyone that isn’t you - who we can clearly see is managing more than any one person should be able to handle and is doing so with grace, confidence and a general kick-butt atttitude that we hope we can, one day, maybe start to aspire to…

And then there’s us.

We run a superhero SBL gauge in our head and position everyone else at various, high-flying, stages of awesomeness… and when we think of ourselves, we hardly register as a blip on the hero-ometer.

WELL, I’VE GOT A FEW THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS!

Firstly, there is no variable scale of superheroey-ness.

We need to stop rating each other as more or less of a superhero than that other SBL we once met because when I say we are all SBL superheroes, I mean it.

● I don’t mean yes, but she’s better than he is.

● I don’t mean, he’ll get there one day.

● And I don’t mean, everyone else is a SBL superhero except for you.

I get it. I truly do.

Some days you feel like Wonder Woman (or Superman) and some days you feel like Diana Prince (or Clark Kent) - but here’s the kicker; even when they leave their superhero costumes at home, they are still superheroes! They show up. For their job and their friends.

They embody the characteristics of a hero including the courage, conviction and commitment to keep going even when, and especially when, things get tough. They do it all knowing, deep down, that whether others know it or not, they are still a superhero.

Yes, you will have days when you feel less than super and, in those moments, it’s easy to start comparing. We look at the snapshots we have of each other and start comparing our worst moments to that incredible feat a fellow SBL achieved on her best day…but here’s the thing.

WE ARE ALL DOING THIS!

Each and every one of us has our non-superhero alter-ego daysso if you’re struggling with ‘comparisonitis’, imposter syndrome or just need a bit of a confidence boost, I need you to hear this:

● There is no-one else in your shoes. Your school, your situation, your particular superpowers are all unique to you.

● There is no one that you can accurately compare yourself to.

● Being a superhero SBL is a binary state, not a fluctuating gauge of awesomeness. You show up, you make the impossible happen, you navigate through a labyrinth of logistics, legislation and politics, and you do it every single day that you are in the role.

The next time you feel like you’re channelling Diana Prince instead of Wonder Woman, I want you to remember your underlying truth...it doesn’t matter what outfit you’re wearing or what the SBL up the road or on Twitter is doing.

You’re a superhero in your own right - you just need to give yourself permission to fly.