23 minute read
Assets in Action
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40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior.
Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start.
Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
Turn the page to learn more!
The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute® , 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.
assets in action
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Peter and Isaiah enjoying cooking together
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Kessler students being safe at school
Holter’s After School Teen Arts Council painting the street
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Music students participate in Ironhorse Youth Music Summer Program
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
SUPPORT
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email coleen@youthconnectionscoalition.org with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
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COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
POSITIVE VALUES
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
SOCIAL COMPETENCIES
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
POSITIVE IDENTITY
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Devyn getting a book from the neighborhood little library
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Helping a neighbor by volunteering to rake leaves
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Sophie shared inspiring messages throughout her neighborhood
Students getting help with searching for colleges
understanding and addressing ANXIETY By KRISTINA DUKART, LCSW, Intermountain Child & Family Therapist
Have you ever ridden a rollercoaster? Maybe you get excited standing in line, feeling the butterflies in your stomach before feeling a little tug in your chest as you sit down and buckle in. As the ride starts maybe you panic a bit, holding your breath as the car climbs higher. Then, as you plummet toward the ground, your breath comes out in a whoosh as you scream, in terror or delight. As the ride slows, so does your heart rate. As you unbuckle, your breath becomes steady and you find safety back on solid ground.
If this scenario resonates, you have officially experienced anxiety.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), anxiety impacts roughly 40 million Americans a year. What you might not know is, our brains develop to have anxiety. That’s right! Anxiety is natural and is meant to keep us safe.
WE ALL EXPERIENCE ANXIETY
For early humans, constant vigilance was a must for dangerous surroundings – to escape threatening situations and to provide food and shelter. Because of this, our brains have learned to scan our surroundings for real or imagined threats to our physical and emotional safety. This has created a nervous system primed to keep us safe.
HOW ANXIETY IS HELPFUL
When experiencing a stressful event, our brain signals our body to fight, flight, or freeze. This response system is one of the first to develop while we are in the womb and helps us hit the brakes to avoid danger in our car or gives us an adrenaline boost to run from physical threats.
When our brains never take a break - when they constantly perceive threats without allowing our thoughts or our body to relax, anxiety becomes an issue.
WHEN ANXIETY BECOMES AN ISSUE
If you or your family hadn’t experienced heightened anxiety before this year, it is likely you are experiencing it now. But how do you know if what you, your child, or a loved one is feeling, is anxiety? And if it is anxiety, how do you know when to seek help?
Balancing home and work may have increased irritability, difficulty concentrating, rapid heartbeats and fear. In children you may see increased anger, avoidance of specific tasks, difficulty focusing, and increased fears or nightmares. If allowed to grow, these life changes can increase anxiety to unhealthy levels. So, before you get there…
HOW TO MANAGE ANXIETY
One of the first steps to managing anxiety is naming it. Dan Siegel, Ph.D., co-author of The Whole Brain Child, calls this, “Name It to Tame It.” Emotions might be confusing for those whose brains and language skills have not developed enough to fully understand or express what they are experiencing.
IN CHILDREN
Helping your child, make sense of their emotions by assigning words to their feelings, while also trying to figure out what might have triggered those feelings, can help them to control their anxiety.
IN YOURSELF
Recognize your own emotions and call them out too. Model for your child how to name your feelings, out loud, and having a conversation with these feelings. This can further help your child understand their own experiences and give you both a sense of control over anxiety.
IN GENERAL
If naming feelings out loud isn’t decreasing the anxiety, it might be a good time to practice some controlled breathing. Your brain needs oxygen to function and the physical manifestations of anxiety can inhibit oxygen flow to your brain and body.
BOX BREATHING
A great technique for controlled breathing is “box breathing.” Grab a pen and paper and draw a square box. If you don’t have a pen or paper just trace an imaginary box on a hard surface.
Slowly counting to the number four along each line, trace the entire box with the pointer finger of your dominant hand. Once you have this movement and pacing down, add inhaling to the count of four while you trace one edge followed by holding your breath down the next. Breath out again on the next line and lastly, hold your breath for the count of four as you return to the corner where you started.
5-4-3-2-1
An evidenced based technique to slowing down rapid breathing or thoughts is 5-4-32-1. Use your sense of sight to notice 5 things around you. Then touch 4 things around you. How’s your breathing? Can you slow it a little while you listen for 3 sounds? Take a nice slow inhale through your nose to smell 2 things near you. Finally, notice 1 thing you can taste. Is it toothpaste or coffee?
This strategy is great for calming anxiety to help you or your child stay grounded in the present. Engaging all five senses might be tough for younger children, so I modify this tool to 3-2-1. Ask them to identify 3 things they see, 2 things they hear, and 1 thing they can touch.
WHEN ANXIETY NEEDS HELP
If these strategies can’t dull racing thoughts, or if they only help for a few minutes, it might be time to schedule an appointment with a licensed therapist. A licensed therapist can help you discover what might be triggering continued anxiety while supporting you with additional tools to manage those triggers. ■
THE SLEEP how do you rate? HYGIENE QUIZ:
By EMILY C.T. HANKINS
We teach our kids to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and change their underwear. This is basic hygiene, after all. And hopefully these habits are ingrained in their brain by the time they hit kindergarten. But is there another kind of hygiene we are forgetting? Taking care of sleep is important, too. Like all hygiene practices, good sleep habits start young and effect all areas of our lives and wellbeing. However, 90% of families are pressed for adequate sleep during the school week. Is your family achieving stellar sleep hygiene? Take the quiz to find out.
1. AN HOUR BEFORE BED
WE ARE:
A) Starting to wind down. B) Eating dinner. C) Still at practice.
6. MY CHILDREN WAKE UP:
C) We stay up late, and everyone sleeps in late.
2. BEDTIMES ARE:
A) Set in stone. B) Usually around the same time, but is subject to change. C) Whenever we crash.
3. THE KIDS ARE:
A) Very active and exercise often. B) Get out and play a bit. C) More likely to choose stationary activities.
4.WHILE WAITING TO FALL
A) Read a book. B) Watch TV. C) Check their social media.
5. AT BEDTIME, I HEAR ________
A) “Ok. Goodnight.” B) “Can I just finish this last thing?” C) “No way! It’s too early.”
A) Well rested and ready to take on the day. B) Tired, but it always comes together. C) Grouchy as can be. Getting everyone up is stressful.
7. WHEN IT COMES TO THE
WEEKEND:
A) Our bedtime routines are basically the same as on weekdays. B) This is our time to catch up on sleep.
ASLEEP MY KIDS USUALLY:
8. IN OUR HOME:
A) Bedtime routines are sacred. B) Bedtime routines are flexible. C) What bedtime routines?
Emily C.T. Hankins is the Founder and Chief Consultant at ECT Education and the co-author of The Summer Before Kindergarten MOSTLY AS
You and your family have your sleep hygiene down! By championing great sleep habits like having a schedule and minimizing distractions at bedtime, you are supporting the natural circadian rhythms (natural sleep cycles) that children need to be happy, healthy, and rested. Your kids get the full nine hours of recommended sleep and it shows. Keep in mind that high school students are at the highest risk for poor sleep habits due to academic pressure, busy social lives, social media usage, and changes in their circadian rhythms. Be sure to offer extra support to your pre-teens and teens as they grow.
MOSTLY BS
You know sleep is important, but life gets in the way. Take heart, you are not alone! Nine out of ten families struggle to get enough sleep on school nights. Unrested children are more prone to anxiety, academic struggles, obesity, depression, and even suicide. There are ways to combat this. Aim for your elementary age students to hit the hay by 7:00 or 8:00, middle schoolers to be in bed by 8:00 or 9:00, and high school students should be asleep by 10:00 or 11:00. As a family, discuss ways you can work together to simplify activity schedules and to keep evenings calm. Continue to implement helpful strategies like limiting screen time, especially in the evenings.
MOSTLY CS
You know your family’s sleep is important – or you wouldn’t be taking this quiz – but you find yourselves struggling when it comes to sleep hygiene. As a family, discuss what new sleep routines would be helpful and realistic. Start with little changes that will make a big difference, like charging tech overnight in the kitchen to keep screens out of bedrooms. Reflect on how you can make sleep spaces more relaxing and conducive to good sleep. Are bedrooms too light? Too noisy? Too hot? Caffeine and other stimulants can interfere with a good night’s rest, too. Identify what keeps you and your family from restful sleep and go from there.
What can my kids/family do to volunteer during COVID that is safe?
Great question! We want to help neighbors in need but don’t want to put others at risk. We know that kids who are involved in community service activities have a sense of community, a sense of purpose, and feel useful thereby increasing selfconfidence. Research also shows that kids who volunteer increase their empathy for others. In addition, with the holidays upon us, many families like to find ways to give back and it’s a way to change children’s focus from “I want this, I want that” to “what can I do to help others?”
We have developed a list of ideas and reached out to partners who provide opportunities and encourage their communities to volunteer. • Send cards to deployed military members or people who are homebound. • Rake leaves/shovel snow for a neighbor. • Bake cookies and leave on neighbor’s front door. • Become an online reading buddy. • Pick up trash on playgrounds or trails. • Write positive messages on sidewalks with chalk or paint on rocks and leave around the neighborhood. • Leave a positive message for delivery person or mailman/woman. • Donate food or items for those in need. • Set up a little library in your neighborhood. • Set up a little pantry outside your home and fill it with toilet paper and non-perishables. • Donate at the food bank, homeless shelter, or animal shelter. • Teens can volunteer to help younger students with schoolwork. • Offer to do shopping or run errands for elderly neighbors. • Help a single parent by watching his/her child(ren) while he/she runs errands. • Organize a neighborhood food drive. • Encourage children to clean out their toys and donate ones in good condition. • Make a thank you note for a teacher. • Assemble personal care kits for homeless shelters. • Offer to clean your house of worship. • Donate gently used board games to a domestic abuse shelter or senior center. • Walk an elderly neighbor’s dog. • Check with a long-term care facility on ways to help – can you set up virtual scrabble or card games? • Teachers are really struggling trying to teach in person and virtually, basically doing double duty, ask if you can help.
HAVE A QUESTION? coleen@youthconnectionscoalition.org We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.
NUMBERS
421
The number of words Scotland has for the word “snow.”
189,819
The number of letters in the longest English word.
56,000
The number of eggs an octopus lays at one time.
25
The percentage of the Sahara Desert that is sandy.
5
The percentage of cats who are allergic to humans.
1500
The average number of PB&J sandwiches a child will eat before graduating from high school.
listen to hear AND NOT RESPOND
To be seen, heard, and understood is at the heart of feeling secure, the essence of being loved, the core of being accepted, and the foundation of trust. Though there are many aspects to this foundation, so often the struggle within a relationship is the missing art of listening. Desperately, parents seek to have their kids listen to them. It is a battle shared by a large majority. And yet we learn, as children, to listen by witnessing the adults around us. Often the lesson learned is to be heard or the last to speak. We learn by watching that to listen means we need to have a reaction, an answer, an anecdote, a comparison, a correction. And while we are busy reacting to what our children are attempting to communicate with their limited words and their mixed-up emotions, they receive a message that they have not been heard. So many children (spouses, employees, students, etc.) cry out “YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME!” Let’s stop to consider that they just may be right.
To teach a child to listen benefits us by helping us learn the fine art of listening, practicing it, and employing it consistently first. As we do, a level of trust develops, and though not all problems are solved, we find ourselves well on our way to deep, meaningful connection. Though many books have been written on this topic, I challenge you to consider one simple question: What is your motive?
Many people would consider themselves good listeners. However, only an estimated 10% of people are good listeners, which means the vast majority fall outside of that definition. Since we have learned from those before and around us, we likely have acquired the importance of a good response. So much of the time someone is talking, we are preoccupied with our own response that we do not dedicate the attention and focus to what is being said because our brain is busy working on the response. The Greek By KELLY ACKERMAN, LCPC
And while we are busy reacting to what our children are attempting to communicate with their limited words and their mixed-up emotions, they receive a message that they have not been heard. So many children (spouses, employees, students, etc.) cry out “YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME!” Let’s stop to consider that they just may be right.
philosopher Epictetus so obviously stated, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak,” and still centuries later, we are practicing the art of speaking by preparing our response. We work so hard at this that we send the message to those we love that we do not hear them, or that their message is not worth hearing because what we have to say is more important. In doing this, we break relationship and trust.
To listen to understand requires mindfulness, a slowing down and considering what our intention really is. As we challenge ourselves to listen, we can take in the whole message that consists of emotion, tone of voice, facial expression, body language, and allow it to settle. Our ears capture words, but our attention captures the meaning sometimes hidden in the words. When a girl returns from school with her eyes downcast, shoulders slumped and responds slightly muffled to your question, “How was your day?” with, “It was OK… [long pause]…my friends hid my lunch box at school and I couldn’t find it. They thought it was funny.” Responding could be, “Well that’s a crappy thing to do. I hope you told them off. When I was a kid and my friends were mean to me, I just found new friends!” And then the opportunity to connect to her hurt, embarrassment, and loneliness is missed and she begins to stop talking, slowly turning inward and adopting an internal voice that says she is not good enough.
Listening to your son who comes home with a fierce entrance, rapidly and loudly yelling, “My boss sucks! He always blames me for things going wrong. I QUIT,” might require a, “Whoa, that sounds like a terrible experience!” rather than an equally charged, “You better not quit because you have car insurance to pay for and quitting is not responsible.” The second comes from an immediate need to respond to your own emotional trigger and will likely increase the chances that you become a target of the anger and a full-blown argument ensues.
The art of listening takes time, practice, and an intentional approach to be aware of your own feelings that are triggered, while focusing on the message being presented and aligning with the person talking. As soon as we lose that alignment, we have lost the art and the connection that creates security. Of course, there is much more to learn about listening, but I challenge you to being with asking yourself these two questions: Am I a good listener? Is my intention to understand or to be understood? With time and practice, you can find yourself in a connected, secure relationship in the top 10%. ■
why the surge in VAPING MARIJUANA? By YOUTH CONNECTIONS STAFF
Local therapists report seeing a rise in teens vaping marijuana. According to DrugAbuse.gov regarding the 2019 Monitoring the Future survey of youth nationwide, “Past year vaping of marijuana, which has more than doubled in the past two years, was reported at 20.8% among 12th graders, with 10th graders not far behind at 19.4% and eighth graders at 7.0%. Past month marijuana vaping among 12th graders nearly doubled in a single year to 14% from 7.5%–the second largest one-year jump ever tracked for any substance in the history of the survey.”
WHY THE SURGE?
1) The number one reason youth state they vape marijuana is because they want to experiment. 2) The number two reason is they like the flavors, which are developed to target kids. Flavors like birthday cake, tutti frutti, and bubble gum attract young users. 3) The third reason, which explains the concerning increase in use, is because they’re hooked to them. Often youth will say they want to quit, but they can’t. 4) Parents and teachers can’t identify use by the pungent odor. There is no marijuana smell when vaping marijuana/THC. It’s very easy 5)
6) to use without getting caught. Vape pens can look like USB drives, pens, markers, and now there is even clothing to hide use. Hoodies look like a normal piece of clothing but the vape device is concealed in the drawstrings. They are easy to carry and to hide. Media has normalized and glamorized e-cigarette use. Challenges posted on social media encourage kids to post videos, like getting a teacher to unknowingly charge their vape device or vape in class undetected.
According to JAMA, “Marijuana vaping produces significantly greater physiological and psychological effects compared with traditional smoking methods at the same tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) levels, raising concerns about potential health effects…including lung injury when using black market products.” Dr. Nora Volkow, the Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse stated, “there is a big concern that through the use of this vaping devices teenagers may be modifying their brain. What we yet do not know is what are the consequences that maybe for more subtle effects, that may take years to emerge, which may relate to the fact that you are delivering very high temperature vapor into your lung, that with repeated use and regular use and frequent use, may lead to harm.” ■
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