{
SEPTEMBER 2013
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youthconnectionscoalition.org
READY. SET. GRADUATE! The Truth Behind Confession Pages
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
» Help Your Kids Find Their Spot » Family Health and Happiness
THE
Three-Legged Stool Approach
{
Live Life SmiLing for Adults & teens cleAr & metAl brAces
creating beautiful smiles for patients of all ages! 4 42-1899 • 301 Saddle Dr, Ste A www.helenabraces.com
SEPTEMBER 2013
FEATURES
6 The Three-Legged Graduation Stool Talking to Your Child Prepares 10 How Them for School Success 14 Get a Healthy Start! 18 Help Your Kids Find Their Spot Truth Behind 22 The Confession Pages
IN EVERY ISSUE
2 From the Director 11 40 Developmental Assets 5 The Kitchen Table 12 Assets in Action 8 Faces in the Crowd 20 Q&A and By the Numbers Youth Connections is a coalition of over 700 community members representing parents, educators, churches, youth-serving organizations, businesses, and more who want to make Helena a healthy and supportive place for kids and families. Youth Connections recognizes the need to reduce negative behaviors including substance use and violence while also working to increase positive opportunities and mental wellness for all our local kids. So how do we do that? We know there is no silver bullet to making communities great, and so we do LOTS of things that we know make communities better. For example, we helped place professionals in the schools to help students who may be suffering from substance abuse or mental health issues. We support agencies and businesses who offer youth activities by helping coordinate transportation and funds for kids to be involved in activities. We support student mentoring relationships. We also know that when kids know better, they do better, so we support classroom education in the areas of bullying prevention and substance use prevention. Youth Connections also understands we must support the adults in kids’ lives and therefore we provide training, education, networks, and collaborative opportunities for parents and professionals to connect with others who care about kids. Youth Connections is well known for its quarterly publication, YC Magazine, a resource for parents and the entire community. These are just some of the projects we’re working on to serve our mission of engaging our community to create environments where youth thrive and succeed. For a comprehensive list of activities, services, and ways you can get involved, please visit our website at www.youthconnectionscoalition.org.
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YC MAGAZINE
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September 2013
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from the
ON THE COVER
director
2
Megan is a lively six-year-old who has been supported by her family in the “three legged stool” from a very young age setting her up for future success both in and out of school. Megan’s family has helped build a solid foundation for her to start kindergarten using the three legged approach. Megan’s nostalgia for sharing a story once cherished by her mom rings in her voice as she explains, “My favorite book is my Unicorn Pop-Up Book that was my mom’s when she was little.” Megan’s family has also encouraged her to be an active member of the Helena community. Even at age six, she has found a meaningful connection to her community by providing a lemonade stand on hot days as both a community service and entrepreneurial endeavor, teaching her the importance of earning and budgeting money. And, when asked about activities to keep her physically active and developing healthy social skills, Megan highlights her time in Grandstreet Theatre, love of snow skiing, and her special opportunity to sail with grandparents. This issue of the YC Magazine focuses on that three-legged approach, including information on preparing kids for academic success, articles on physical and emotional health and safety, and information on helping kids find ways to connect with schools and community. Every family has unique opportunities and barriers to supporting their children in their pursuit of a three-legged stool foundation for success. If you are faced with barriers to helping your child in any of these areas, contact the Youth Connections Office for help. Our goal is for every child in our community to have a firm three-legged stool of support.
September 2013
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t’s time for school again. It seems like the kids were just getting out. We have a great back-to-school issue that will really delve into the three needs for kids to be successful and graduate – healthy living, being academically prepared and being involved. Research shows that graduation coleen really does start in the womb. That smith doesn’t mean it’s too late to start if you have a high school student. With healthy living as one of the legs of the threelegged stool, we are excited to be bringing John Underwood to Helena in September. He’s an Olympic trainer and former Olympian as well as international speaker. He’ll be making several presentations to coaches, athletes, parents and administrators to discuss the effect of drugs/alcohol on the athlete’s body. This is not just limited to football and volleyball players. All students need to be in peak form to be successful. Anyone that has heard John has said he’s very high-energy and entertaining. On the heels of this we will be hosting a town hall meeting in October on underage drinking. We’ll do a focus group with teens in September and then report the findings at the community meeting. A panel of experts will also give us some statistics on underage drinking as well as trends. We will then work together to come up with some tactics to address the issue of teens and alcohol. I hope you’ll join us. Our kids are our biggest asset and they deserve to have all the resources possible to help them be successful. ■
Coleen Smith, YC Director Phone: (406) 324-1032 Helena Middle School, Room 210
We can all breathe a little easier. Thanks to Montana’s
CLEAN INDOOR AIR ACT Providing indoor public places free of tobacco smoke to protect our health.
Walk and Bike Safely Enjoy Your Summer!
To report a violation of the CIAA, visit tobaccofree.mt.gov or call 457-8960.
Help your children get the physical activity they need while forming healthy habits to last a lifetime.
www.bikewalkhelena.org A message from the Lewis & Clark City-County Health Department.
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TIRED
UNSAFE
SAYS NO ONE LIKES THEM
STRESSED
UNSAFE
TIRED
DISTANT
FRUSTRATED
CONFUSED
IRRITATED OPPOSITE THEIR USUAL BEHAVIOR
SCARED
ATTITUDE
CONFUSED
TIRED |
YC MAGAZINE
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SCARED
ALONE
STRESSED
OPPOSITE THEIR USUAL BEHAVIOR
September 2013
You don’t have to have all the answers. just know who to ask.
LEFT OUT
SAYS NO ONE LIKES THEM
UNSAFE
LEFT OUT
DISTANT TIRED FRUSTRATED
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DISTANT
WITHDRAWN
ATTITUDE
youthconnectionscoalition.org
ThinkBeyondTheBehavior.org Partner with:
parenting:
One Size Doesn’t Fit All The kitchen table For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though – if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
You can submit your story at: ycmagazine@youthconnectionscoalition.org
DYK
DID YOU KNOW?
m I the last one to realize that “one size fits all” parenting is not effective? As parents, we work hard to highlight each of our kids’ special qualities. As a mom, I have learned how to throw a football well enough not to embarrass my son in public; my husband has made an effort to seem interested in creating photo collages with scrapbook paper and glue dots. We are a blended family (we each had one child) and neither of us grew up in the most stable family, but we want nothing less than the best possible life for our own kids. As parents to a 10-yearold boy and a 16-year-old girl, we had to check our pride at the door and ask for help. Through family therapy, we learned that each child is unique in what they need. Seems like common sense right? It does to us now, but it took us a long time to realize that the rules and expectations for each kid cannot be the same, even if they had the same parents! What each child values and struggles with plays an important role in motivations and consequences. And because they are different ages, they are in different stages of their development. For instance, I had a heated discussion with my husband when he wanted to send my daughter to her room as a consequence for being home late. I had never grounded her to her
room, but rather I would ground her from her room! She has long struggled with depression and isolating herself so being sent to her room was missing the point of the consequence. When his son was disrespectful to me, he was told he couldn’t use the computer for two weeks. We later learned Facebook was the only place his mother was making contact with him. We had to set aside our own thoughts and find ways to teach the lessons with child specific consequences. Maybe this is common sense to most parents? For me, I was thankful to have a competent professional tell me that as long as we are doing our best in any given situation and learning from mistakes, we are good parents. If we put our kids first and are honest when we need help, our kids will benefit. And maybe the most helpful insight was being told that it’s ok to admit our mistakes to our kids and let them know we are committed to doing our best. I wish I had been given this advice as a single parent. If I could give an instruction book to new parents, it would say: People are not perfect. Parents are just people who have had kids. Find someone (anyone) you trust and be willing to ask for help. Learn to forgive yourself and remember that you cannot compare your children and their needs because they are all different in an amazing way. ■
Even when a snake has its eyes closed, it can still see through its eyelids.
Marijuana is the most frequently used illegal drug in the United States.
Apples, not caffeine or tea, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
www.sciencekids.co.nz
www.theparenttoolkit.org
www.makemegenius.com
youthconnectionscoalition.org
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the
three-legged graduation stool
making healthy choices
connected to their school and/or community
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academically prepared
What the Approach is All About By GREG UPHAM, Assistant Superintendent, Helena Public Schools
The primary goal of any education system is to ensure that all individuals have an equal opportunity to graduate and move forward as productive citizens of society. Communities are finding that increasing challenges are creating hurdles that prevent students from being able to complete their education and live a safe and healthy life. We know that students who are: » academically prepared, » connected to their school and/or community, and » making healthy choices graduate at a higher rate, in comparison to students who struggle with learning, are not connected to their school and or community, and have made unhealthy choices. The saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” may be more important than ever in helping an individual to complete their education. We are charged as a community to ensure that schools are attentive to all learning styles and have effective intervention strategies for students who are not performing at their grade level. Parents and
caregivers need to build strong educational foundations that allow students the opportunity to learn in safe and supportive environments. The greater community has a responsibility to offer support through activities that promote safe and healthy choices. Community networking allows schools, parents, and community services to come together to ensure that the triangle of academic preparation, student connection, and healthy choices are creating a student centered foundation. This strong foundation allows communities to grow and prosper and to create a circle of support that makes for a great community. We must work hard to communicate with one another in order to help each leg of the triangle stay strong and supportive. This team work will undoubtedly create a community of services that is proactive for our children allowing each individual to reach their maximum potential. We cannot sit back and wait for someone else to fix “the system.” We are the system and together we can complete the triangle that creates great kids! ■
What Local Schools are Doing By KATHY KIDDER, Assistant Principal, Capital High School
A goal at Capital High School is to have every student college or career ready with 21st Century Skills, making each student prepared and ready to succeed with all future endeavors. With that in mind, a goal emerged to reach out to start the graduation conversation with fifth grade students or “Future Bruin Graduates.” CHS counselors and administrators will be meeting with the students at their elementary school to emphasize the importance of a high school education and graduating from high school. Our “Future Bruin Graduates” have the perfect opportunity to work hard and stay on track to graduate by developing good study skills and academic knowledge over their three years in middle school. Our goal for our incoming freshmen entering high school begins with a positive experience in which they feel encouraged by, supported by, and connected to teachers, peers and staff in order to ensure their continued success toward graduation. The Capital Code – Be Respectful, Be Responsible, Be a Graduate – is discussed with future graduates so they understand that the choices made today have a direct
impact on their future. We also share information about Advanced Placement courses, dual credits, and the many clubs and activities available to participate in to help develop new friendships and a sense of belonging to a group of students with similar interests. In middle school and high school, students will be building lasting relationships with peers, mentors, and teachers while balancing school work with school clubs and events and participating in activities. During these meetings, staff will provide information on summer camps and activities through “Find Your Spot” and inform students and parents about opportunities offered in the Helena community. Our presentation wraps up with students watching a brief video encouraging them to get involved and to embark on active learning while participating and having fun! The future graduates also receive a t-shirt with our Capital Code and “Future Bruin Graduate” logo. If you would like to view the video, Welcome to Capital High School, you may access it at: www.chs. helena.k12.mt.us/olyb/olyb.htm. ■
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Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email cosmith@helena.k12.mt.us and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
Cassidy Johnson
FACES IN THE CROWD
radley elementary school, 3rd grade
Although only eight years old, Cassidy Johnson is one girl who refuses to let anything get her down. There is not a time when you will not see a huge smile on her face. In her spare time, Cassidy enjoys going to church and spending time with her whole family. Outside of church and family, Cassidy loves to ride her horses every chance she gets. She also loves making bracelets for anyone who will wear one!
Shasta Harris
Helena middle school, 7th grade
Shasta is in 7th grade at HMS. She enjoys school especially math. Even though it is not her best subject, she works hard at it and does her best. She participates in three sports: hockey, softball, and volleyball. When she is not busy practicing, Shasta is working hard on chores at her family’s petting farm. Her responsibilities include feeding animals and cleaning out the stalls. She is a good worker and never complains about her chores. Shasta is a sweet and polite girl who is very close with her family and friends.
Timberly Tierney
helena high school, 11th grade
Timberly is a 16-year-old cross country runner entering her junior year of high school at Helena High. She enthusiastically embraces diversity of all kinds and has interest in reaching out to children. She has been active with raising numerous healthy animals through their care and development. She has high energy and has shown great adaptability in our office environment working in many areas of great importance, including instrument care and sterilization and general clinic and laboratory support. Timberly is a teenager who supports a big smile and a great attitude of friendly helpfulness. She was nominated by the staff at Associated Dermatology.
James Buscher
YOUTH CONNECTIONS COALiTION, HELENA SCHOOL DISTRICT
James is the Special Projects Coordinator for Youth Connections and has been working the past year to develop the FIND YOUR SPOT program in the community. He has worked with various community entities to provide Find Your Spot activities that will continue past his time with Youth Connections. As the funding expires on this program, James will leave behind pickleball at the YMCA, hiking Mount Helena, open gym at Headwaters Church, Y Tuesdays, activities at the library and Narrate Church dodgeball. We appreciate all that James has done to help Helena kids Find Your Spot!
Starbucks
downtown helena
When asked to recall examples of positive interactions with downtown businesses, youth did not hesitate to mention Starbucks. Excitedly, they told us all about how the staff is always friendly and provides a comfortable environment for them. What was more surprising, though, were the seemingly simple things which make them want to go back. For one, Starbucks gives them water on hot summer days when they are parched from skateboarding and hanging out with friends. Starbucks also allows the youth to use their restrooms. This is important to them when they want to be outside and absorb all Helena has to offer while they are out of school because, unfortunately, there are not many public facilities in the downtown area. Thanks, Starbucks!
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TEENLANDIA TEEN SERVICES @ LEWIS & CLARK LIBRARY
LCTEENS.TUMBLR.COM www.lclibrary.org
Bikes for the whole family 801 N Last Chance Gulch, Helena 442-4644
www.bigskybikes.com
STORE HOURS: Mon-Fri 10-6 and Sat 10-5
Explore More!
sign up now! Two Can Tumble (age 20-36 months)
A parent or adult “sidekick” accompanies each child through class.
Gym Tykes (age 3-4 years)
Youngsters become familiar with basic skills and body positions.
Fall classes begin September 3. Enrollment is limited.
Kinder Trix (age 5-6)
A class to perfect basic skills plus flexibility and strength exercises.
Basix (age 6+)
Beginning gymnastics for boys and girls with little or no experience.
Rough & Tumble (age 7+)
For boys only with some prior experience on gymnastics apparatus and basic body positions.
iCheer (age 6 & up)
Recreational cheer squad, practices 1 hr/week and performs locally.
3370 Colton Drive ı 442.6782 ı www.hacmt.com youthconnectionscoalition.org
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h ow
to your child prepares them for school success
School is starting and many parents are starting to wonder what they can do to lay the groundwork for year-long and life-long learning. By LINDA LACHERE, Educator
eachers of the early years know what helps many students is a strong understanding and exposure to language. A basic understanding of language and the ability to speak can help a child be more successful in their school career and beyond. If a child can understand conversations, share clear ideas, use proper sentence structure, follow simple commands, understand the meaning of words, and try new words, they will have a stronger foundation on which to build their knowledge. A child also builds confidence when he/she is prepared and ready to continue constructing basic skills. The most valuable thing a parent can do is talk to their child every chance possible. There is no better way to know what is going on in a child’s life than by talking to them. A lot can be learned from a child and they can learn as well by taking turns talking and listening. Teachers often use the following language building activities in their classrooms. Parents who want to help their children succeed can use these, too.
Talk frequently and in a normal voice. Read different books and then discuss the story afterward. Spend time focusing on sounds and words (rhymes, synonyms, etc.) Make up stories and then have the child do the same. Discuss the events of the day. Talk about different words and their meanings (up, down, across, etc.) Discuss how things are alike and different. Make opportunities for children to write (use shaving cream, sand, chalk, etc.)
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40 developmental assets
real food
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts Helena will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
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Turn the page to learn more! youthconnectionscoalition.org
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assets in action
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
14 Support
Creating a Message Together
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
Empowerment Family Performing Together
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
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Boundaries & Expectations
Painting the God's Love Gazebo
1 Junior Roller Derby
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
Constructive Use of Time
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17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email cosmith@helena.k12.mt.us with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
22 Commitment to Learning
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
Working Together to Complete a Project
Positive Values
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
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Part of Global Youth Service Day
Social Competencies
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
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Making Healthy Eating Choices
Playing with Kids on a Mission Trip
Positive Identity
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
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By DAVID SMITH, CEO, Helena Family YMCA
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In today’s goal-oriented society, the notion of play can seem a frivolous pursuit for those past primary school age. Physical activity is often perceived as athletics, exercise or “working out.” A lot of parents hear physical activity and immediately think it requires a gym membership. Experts agree, play can and should be embraced by family members of all ages.
Overscheduled and stressed families can become programmed to think in terms of achievements like earning more money, making a select soccer or swim team, or getting good grades. Instead of embracing play as a vital part of family life, it is sometimes viewed as a non-productive “waste” of time. But nothing could be further from the truth. Families can develop stronger bonds when they share common experiences. Physical activity is a positive experience that families can share as they improve their overall health. Kids and parents who play in a physically active way are healthier and happier. Studies suggest playing, just for the sake of movement and enjoyment and interaction, boosts self-esteem, builds healthy relationships and contributes to physical health and well-being. Physical activity does more than just make one feel better. Research shows that movement affects brain development, especially in 11-13 year olds. Children who are not active during this time of their lives adversely affect the way their brain forms. Movement during this time ensures healthy development. This part of the brain is responsible for social and physical grace. It also contributes to coordination, attention and language. Because there is a “use it or lose it” phenomenon, if these connections in the brain aren’t established during the middle school years, they never will be. Adolescents who don’t get enough physical activity can battle with attention issues or deal with coordination issues the rest of their lives. Physical activity is like fruits and vegetables, an everyday necessity,
not a candy or ice cream treat for every once in a while. Families who recognize the power of play will improve in all of those other areas of achievement. Children who are physically active during the day tend to feel better about themselves and do better in school. They need at least an hour of physical activity each day to stay healthy and fit. There’s not enough time during the school day to get it all in. Physical activity does more than get the blood moving, it can teach life skills such as teamwork, patience and motivation to help youth reach higher goals. In addition to physical activity, healthy eating is an integral part of being prepared for the day. Children who eat breakfast score better on school achievement tests. Eating breakfast can help prevent childhood obesity, and children who eat school meals eat more fruits and vegetables. To encourage eating nutritious foods, involve children in the planning and preparation of healthy meals. Eat more meals together as a family. Give children appropriate serving sizes of food to eat. And most importantly, turn off the television and take a family activity break or go for a walk. Limit television, computer, video games and movies to two hours or less per day. There’s nothing new with the idea of getting physical activity, eating right and doing things together, but in this busy goaloriented society, sometimes it seems hard to fit it all in. Ironically, these simple things don’t just benefit children, but teens and adults as well. There’s no time like the present, especially at the beginning of a new school year, to start with healthy routines. ■
All About Portions Portion Sizes for 2-5 Year Olds Meat/Poultry/Fish.........................2-4 Tbls Eggs.................................................1/4 of one Pasta/Rice/Potatoes....................... 1/4 cup Bread......................................... 1/4–1/2 slice Vegetables........................................2–4 Tbls Fruit..................................................2–4 Tbls Milk............................................. 1/4–1/3 cup Fats.................................................... 1–2 tsps Seems small, but if all food groups provided at the meal it would be 1- 1.5 cups of food.
Portion Sizes for 6-10 Year Olds Double Everything
( 1/2 cup servings for all food groups, full slice bread, milk bumps up to one cup is a serving size)
For Easy Comparison
1 cup
ba seball
1/4 cup egg
3/4 cup
te nnis b all
3 oz
d eck of ca rd s
1/2 cup
computer mouse
2 Tsps
ping pong ball
Healthy Habit Ideas » Spend at least 20 minutes doing something physically active as a family, ideally outdoors. Play fetch with the dog, a game of tag before dinner, play in the leaves or build a snowman before starting homework (not unusual in May in Montana!), play “chase” in the house or “catch” outside. » Take a family bike ride around the neighborhood. Play flag football or h.o.r.s.e with your teens and their friends. » Schedule family recess time by putting play on the weekly schedule, just like soccer games and piano practice. Block out time for a trip to the park, playground or a family trip to the pool. Shoot hoops, jump rope, play hopscotch in the driveway.
» Count each effort no matter how large or small. Create a play jar allowing each family member to put in desired fun, low or no-cost activities for weekends or other days off. Turn chore time into play time. » Crank up the stereo for a Saturday clean the house party. Have a race to see who can pick up their toys the fastest. » Have kids help with planning menus and cooking. Once a month have them choose a different country and make food from there. » Once a week try a different recipe. If kids love spending time on the computer, have them research the new recipe.
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900 N Last Chance Gulch, Ste 101 www.helenaorthodontics.com 442.0288
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youthconnectionscoalition.org
This Series Is Presented BY
YOUTHCONNECTIONSCOALITION.ORG
201
3-1 4
parenting series
Helena Middle School auditorium
6 :3 0 p. m.
tuesday
sept 17
Lattes & Sundaes, 503 Fuller Ave
6 :0 0 - 8 :0 0 p.m .
monday
oct 14
life of an athlete
parents and teaches as allies
John Underwood is an Olympic trainer and researcher of alcohol and drug impacts on the athlete’s body. In his dynamic presentation he will discuss the negative impact drugs have on competitive performance including how one night of binge drinking causes an athlete to lose the equivalent of 14 days of training. In addition, athletes who drink regularly are twice as likely to be injured. Please join us for this important presentation!
Facilitated by local NAMI members (National Alliance on Mental Illness). NAMI created Parents and Teachers as Allies to help families and school professionals identify the key warning signs of earlyonset mental illnesses in children and adolescents in our schools. It focuses on the specific, age-related symptoms of mental illnesses in youngsters. The training is intended to provide an educational tool for advancing mutual understanding and communication between families and school professionals.
Lattes & Sundaes, 503 Fuller Ave
6 :0 0 - 8 : 0 0 p. m.
monday
nov 11
QPR: question, persuade, refer suicide prevention training Just as everyone should know CPR, so too should they know QPR. Question, Persuade, and Refer is a lifesaving strategy for providing suicide first aid. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to be trained in QPR. Lattes & Sundaes, 503 Fuller Ave
6 :0 0 - 8 : 0 0 p. m.
monday
feb 10
setting and maintaining expectations In this hands-on session, Youth Connections Staff will teach parents strategies used in schools for how to create a set of family expectations, how to teach and reinforce those expectations, and how to use those expectations to guide conversations when the expectations are not met.
NOTe: For the evenings at Lattes and Sundaes, their kitchen will be open to purchase sandwiches, salads, and coffees, so plan to go a few minutes early to prevent interruptions in the presentations
Lattes & Sundaes, 503 Fuller Ave
6 :0 0 - 8 :0 0 p.m .
monday
JAN 13
what motivates your child? Have you ever tried to figure out how to motivate your child? During this interactive session Youth Connections staff will lead parents through some activities to help unlock this mystery!
Lattes & Sundaes, 503 Fuller Ave
6 :0 0 - 8 :0 0 p.m .
monday
mar 10
parental controls and parents taking control
In today’s technology world, it is common for students to have cell phones that give them unlimited access to the internet world. Parents play an integral role in monitoring their child’s access to that world, how not all of us understand the details of what is available and how to use those tools. During this hands on session, local cell phone providers will explain the services available to parents. Following the formal presentation, they will be available to provide technical assistance to help parents learn how to use these features. Important Note: Please bring your child’s phone to this event!
p
: s t n e r a r u o y help
s d i k
r i e th By YOUTH CONNECTIONS STAFF
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Yes, it is true that for over ten years the Youth Connections Coalition has reminded parents about the importance of getting kids connected with something positive.
B
y that, we mean ANYTHING that excites a child, gives them a positive experience, keeps them occupied, enhances a natural talent, and develops their mind and body. It could be a love for performing, developing a musical talent, participation in a church youth group, club, intramural sport, or a newfound love for the game of pickleball. Whatever it is, the message has remained consistent; it is important for kids to find their spot in life. But, why is it so critical for adults to help kids find their spot? There are countless studies that tell us that student involvement in something they are interested in is critical for a variety of reasons. First, being involved in an activity occupies their time. Studies confirm that kids who have less “free time” to just hang out are less likely to use substances, be violent, and engage in other dangerous behaviors including sexual behavior. Second, when kids find something positive to be involved with, they
often learn valuable social skills including team work and conflict resolution. In addition, having an activity can be a great way to start friendships through a shared common interest with others. Third, when kids are connected to an activity, they learn how to entertain themselves. As children grow, learning how to prevent boredom in a positive manner helps them find purpose and meaning in life. In addition to all of the above reasons to encourage children to find their spot, this edition of the Youth Connections Magazine focuses on the three characteristics most identified in successful graduates including students who are academically prepared, students who are physically and mentally well, and students who are engaged. So while for years we have been helping parents understand the importance of getting their children involved, we also want parents to understand that finding their spot has a direct correlation to a child’s academics.
With the many options of art, music, sports, and other opportunities the Helena community has to offer children of all ages and interests, it is the adults’ role to help kids find that spot. While finances can be difficult for these opportunities, know there are many scholarship programs available to help families with financial barriers. First, start by contacting the organization or business that provides the activity to find out if they have scholarship or sliding fee programs. Second, there are many youth-centered organizations in Helena including Youth Connections that have scholarships available to help kids find their spot. Adults need to make it a goal to help all kids they are connected with have the experience of trying new activities. It is only when youth are encouraged by the adults in their lives to explore their interests and get plugged into an activity that they even become aware of what is available in Helena by all the businesses and organizations. Most kids in the community wouldn’t know there
are hiking clubs, dodgeball tournaments, Y Tuesdays, battle of the bands, fishing clubs, beading clubs, sewing classes, cooking clubs, gardening groups, and much, much more without the help of an adult to seek those opportunities and help the child get connected! As the school year starts, adults need to make it a goal to help all kids in their life find their spot. Use resources like the school counselor, the Youth Connections website and www. aroundhelena.com as tools to help kids find their spot. To receive text messages of goings on in the area for kids, text “@fysparents” (without the quotations marks) to 23559. Kids can text “@ fysmiddleschool” and/ or “@fyshighschool” (without quotation marks) to the same number. Anyone signed up will receive a text with basic information on activities that are available for kids. (The service does not allow for replied messages, and the cell numbers are not sold or used for anything other than alerting recipients of local kidfriendly activities.). ■
youthconnectionscoalition.org
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YC MAGAZINE
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September 2013
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BY THE
NUMBERS
Q. When does bullying elevate from a parent/school issue into a legal issue? A. In Montana, there is no law covering bullying or harassing.
Some of what occurs, such as name calling or not talking to the person, is a parent/school issue. Some of the things that occur in school are issues that adults need to teach kids to work through without school or parent intervention. When the behavior goes beyond this then it may fall under certain crimes. One of the crimes that may pertain to text messages or Facebook messages is privacy in communications. Privacy in communications is when with the purpose is to terrify, intimidate, threaten, harass, annoy, or offend, and someone communicates with another person by electronic communication and uses obscene, lewd, or profane language, suggests a lewd or lascivious act, or threatens to inflict injury or physical harm to the person or property of the person. Depending on what is being said, the communication could fall under this law. Facebook is harder to work with than text messages since texts go directly to the person. With Facebook, unless the message is sent directly to the child, they may hear about the comments and have to go look for them on other pages or the messages are forwarded to them so they can see them. If they are not obscene, harassing, or a threat, then it might not fall under the law. The students need to remember that people have the right to an opinion and can voice their opinion to others and if it is not obscene or harassing and not sent to the person, it is not a crime. When it goes beyond words and moves to physical contact, it becomes the crime of assault. Assault is purposely or knowingly causing bodily injury to another, making physical contact in an assaulting or provoking nature with an individual, or causing reasonable apprehension of bodily injury in another.
- The Editor
Have a question? Send us an email at ycmagazine@ youthconnectionscoalition.org We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.
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100 million
Dogs have a remarkable sense of smell. They are capable of differentiating odors in concentrations nearly 100 million times lower than humans can. www.sciencekids.co.nz/sciencefacts.html
60%
The percentage of American children were exposed to violence, crime, or abuse in their homes, schools, and communities. www.justice.gov/defendingchildhood/facts.html
25%
An apple is 25% air, That is why it floats on water. www.makemegenius.com/cool_facts.php?mId=12
1 in 5
Smoking is responsible for approximately 1 in 5 deaths in US. www.lung.org/finding-cures/our-research/trend-reports/Tobacco-Trend-Report.pdf
200
The number of seeds in an average strawberry. And it is the only fruit that bears its seeds on the outside. www.makemegenius.com/cool_facts.php?mId=12#
923
The number of words that break the "i before e" rule. Only 44 words actually follow that rule. www.facebook.com/grammarly
start something WATCH FOR OUR
GRAND REOPENING
NEW DOWNTOWN LOCATION T H I S
Could your little one use a Big? It all starts with the right role models. And Big Brothers Big Sisters is the place to start a relationship with one. For over 100 years, due in large part to private donations, we’ve been able to recruit, screen, match and support mentoring relationships that have changed the lives of hundreds of young people in our community one Little at a time. A study for Big Brothers Big Sisters found that kids matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister: • are more confident • are more likely to steer clear of drugs and alcohol • do better in school • get along better with their family and friends • feel better about themselves eligiBility... who we serve Big Brothers Big Sisters serve as mentors to boys and girls who can benefit from a friendship with a caring adult role model. Children in the BBBS program: • live in the Helena and Boulder area • are between the ages of 6-14 • want to spend time with a Big Brother or Big Sister • agree to a minimum of a one-year time commitment • BBBS will continue to support matches until the “Little” turns 18 or graduates high school
F A L L
Enroll your child today! Get started at www.bbbs-helena.org
Embroidery // Screen Printing // Promotional Products // Signs
Call: 406.442.7479
442.0198 • 70 W Custer Ave, Ste B • www.qwikmt.com
Start here, go anywhere. From a general transfer degree to a degree in Interior Space Planning & Design or Computer Aided Manufacturing, think of your community’s 2 year college as an affordable path to higher education. Check out all of the learning opportunities at www.umhelena.edu
www.umhelena.edu
406-447-6904 youthconnectionscoalition.org
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YC MAGAZINE
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September 2013
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Kids are not immune from being the subject of Confession Pages even if their parents have restricted their ability to have an account. It is the responsibility of adults on these pages to monitor the content and report to Facebook when appropriate. By STEVE THENNIS and BRETT ZANTO, High School Principals
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A Point for Parents to Ponder
kids, it takes a community approach and everyone must do their part. schools Schools are often times the first place students or parents contact when they are concerned about content being posted on sites including Facebook Confession pages. As principals, we have had to develop our own processes for handling these situations because the technology is evolving more quickly than policy and law can keep up with. While schools have their part, there are parameters around a school’s ability to investigate and respond to such behavior. When the posting occurs outside school time, the school often has little or no jurisdiction over an investigation and does not have authority to deliver consequences for behavior that occurs outside the school day. A school’s ability to intervene with these situations is limited to activity that inhibits a child’s opportunity to learn. law enforcement Brian Fisher, a detective with the Helena Police Department, explains the complexities of law enforcement involvement in these issues. “The First Amendment provides for the freedom of speech and the Internet is no different,” he said. “Not only has Helena been a target of these Facebook pages, but many other communities around Montana. Unfortunately, law enforcement is unable to do anything other than contact Facebook and let them know that information being posted is violating Facebook policies. Facebook in turn has removed the pages. Law enforcement monitors information on the pages to ensure public safety.” parents As parents, we protect our children every day. We don’t let them attend certain events or activities, watch certain types of movies, listen to certain music, or sometimes we have to limit them hanging out with specific peers, usually in the name of safety. Why then would we allow our children to enter a Face-
“
Excerpt from: Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy by Emily Bazelon
book page, knowing it is a potentially dangerous place, without monitoring? Parents can play the most proactive approach in helping shut down inappropriate and damaging information on confession pages. First, parents should make an informed, conscious decision about allowing their child to have access to social networking sites. If parents choose to allow their child access, they can require they have access to all social networking sites and public pages accessed by their child. Parents must also be diligent in monitoring the activity on such pages. If things are being said about other children that parents wouldn’t like being said about their child, a decision has to be made. Ignoring it and saying nothing can send the message to other kids on the site that a parent is a passive supporter of the harmful information being shared. To take an active approach, make it an expectation that the child disengage from the page, and talk with their friends and their parents about what was observed. The general public can take steps should they find something posted to Facebook that is considered offensive by visiting Facebook and reporting the post. If the post violates Facebook’s policies, then Facebook will remove it. Confessions pages may just be a fad, but the harmful words being shared can have lifelong consequences for the targets of these dangerous internet gossip columns. The Montana Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force has a website and Facebook page that provide parents with more tips about technology and keeping their children safe. Please visit them at www.mticac.org or www.facebook.com/mticac. The Helena Police Department is an active member with the Montana Internet Crimes Task Force and should a person need more information or have concerns, they can call 406-444-1476. ■
But in the context of bullying, there is something strange going on. We are asking schools to referee conflicts that extend far beyond campus. We get wind of casual or deliberate cruelty, in the conversations we overhear our kids having with their friends, or the messages they send via the phones we’ve given them or the social media sites we’ve let them sign up for, and we’re understandably freaked out. But our first move often isn’t to take the phone away, or talk to each other, or ask the social media sites to police their users. Instead, we call the principal or the guidance counselor and ask her to please do something, right now. Yes, good schools can do their part to reduce bullying by adopting one of the approaches to prevention that have been shown to work, some of which I’ve explored. It’s vital that we keep devoting resources to creating new curricula, to developing a field that’s still young and searching for solutions. But we also have to remember that schools can’t solve the problem of bullying by themselves. It’s neither fair nor wise for us, as parents, to demand this of them.
“
The use of social media sites, including Facebook, has evolved and changed as quickly as the layout and functioning of the site itself. What many adults use as a way to stay connected with relatives and friends across the country, kids sometimes use to spread local gossip, which has devastated some of the kids involved. Confession pages are sweeping the internet, replacing the old-school gossip columns of newspapers past. What was originally a college site has now entered middle and high schools across the country. With internet access available in almost any city large or small, no community is exempt and hundreds of thousands of kids are “liking” the pages in order to gain access to the newsfeeds and, thus, the gossip column. These confession pages are the sophisticated version of the bathroom stall graffiti method used to spread rumors and gossip about others. However, while bathroom stall rumors were dangerous, they were not immediately available to hundreds of students to “like,” “share,” and expand upon. Confession pages now offer a free way to spread horrific rumors and stories about others to all who have access to the page with one push of a button. For the adults who have friended these pages, they may read through the comments chuckling at the awkward and foolish comments that are posted. But, for the subjects of the comments being posted, it can be a life changing experience. “I don’t know how to get past a post about me and three boys that was posted on the confessions page,” reports one teen girl. “What started out as me joking turned into another girl being mad at me, so she posted rumors about me on the page just to get back at me. Then, everyone started commenting, and so I didn’t want to come to school yesterday.” Once the newsfeed begins, it is not only permanently posted, but also there for others to feed into it both online and in person. So, what can communities do to combat these pages? As with any issue connected to
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get connected WHAT IS 2-1-1? It is an easy-to-remember telephone number that connects people with important community services and volunteer opportunities.
WHAT DO I DO? Dial 2-1-1 or visit www.montana211.org
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S n g i S g warnin at e b y a m o h w e of someon
e D I C I U S f O rISK
> > > > > > >
abrupt cha
nality nge in perso
y prized Giving awa s possession ide attempts Previous suic se or alcohol u g u r d in e s Increa er rbance, eith eating distu or loss weight gain her too rbance, eit tu is d p e le S o little much or to on rate frustrati le to to y it il Inab
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what you can do tO save a lIFe
> If you see the signs, ask the person, “are you suicidal?” > Offer hope, don’t leave them alone, and tell others the person to the nearest eR, call the police, take them to > take a health care professional or > Call the Montana Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
www.prc.mt.gov/suicideprevention
Helena School District #1 Youth Connections 55 S Rodney Helena, MT 59601
Non-Profit Org U.S. Postage PAID Helena, MT 59601 Permit No. 94
Save the Date!
7 1 t p m e p 0 S 0 tues
7:
n h Jonderwood U
John is an Olympic athlete and trainer who has researched the effects of alcohol/drugs on the competitor’s body. Parents and students are encouraged to attend this FREE high-energy presentation.
thurs
0 1 t c O m p 0 3 6:
ng i t e e ll m
e g a r e Und rinking D a h n w to
ter’s St. Pepital Hos
Let’s tackle underage drinking! Get the results from a teen focus group on their perceptions around alcohol. Hear from a panel of local experts on the statistics about underage drinking to see how we can start to combat it, keep our kids safe, and be part of the solution.
Beaabetter better competitor. Be competitor.
Livelike likea a champion. Live champion.
HMS Auditorium
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