Ycmag wabash oct2015 issuu by Deanna Johnson

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College Prep: Not Just for Seniors

OCTOBER 2015

staying organized

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» Facts About E-Cigarettes » How to Avoid Raising Codependent Kids » Teen Texting vs. Talking

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OCTOBER 2015

FEATURES

6 Staying Organized 14 Facts About E-Cigarettes 16 How to Avoid Raising Co-Dependent Kids 20 Teen Texting vs. Talking Prep: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for Freshman and 23 College Sophomores, Too IN EVERY ISSUE

2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A and By the Numbers BROUGHT TO YOU BY

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TO ADVERTISE OR CONTRIBUTE Jody Hanisch wcpscoordinator@gmail.com

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Wandering Albatross Photography www.wcprojectsuccess.org

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October 2015

About project success Like the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child,” was the prevailing thought that started Project Success in the early 1990’s. We invited people from the community, provided some breakfast and 65 people came to listen and discuss what we could do together to support the youth of Wabash County. The conversation and the people are still coming almost 20 years later. We have been thoughtful and intentional in our efforts to raise public awareness around underage drinking, responsible choices and behaviors and supporting “all kids.” Like a child we have grown from first steps in what to do through puberty which is sometimes pretty chaotic in its ideas and those 20’s where we thought we had all the right answers. As in life we have become more adult – more deliberate in our approach on how we make decisions and more determined to engage all segments of our community. Do we have all the answers – no – but we do have a long history of successes: the creation and implementation of a character education program for the school district; the development of an emergency dental program for low income children and youth; a youth conference for high school and middle school students and; the successful implementation of a city ordinance to ban marijuana-like substances from being sold by retailers. The contributions made by the coalition for the youth and community have been achieved by the active engagement of our members. What are we doing now – where are we going? Project Success is now a 501 (c)(3) not-for-profit which enables us to seek grant and foundation funding and allows individuals to make tax exempt donations. We have strengthened our by-laws and adopted Policy and Procedures. Community change does not come about simply by bringing the right people together. It requires conscious, targeted group action in order for the coalition to continue as a viable organization that is aligned with the community. We are moving forward and invite you to join us in this important work.

director from the

t’s that time again! Morning alarm clocks buzzing. Households stirring. Buses picking up and dropping off. Hallways bustling with students and lockers slamming as the bell rings for the next class to start. It happens day in and day out as we say goodbye to summer and hello to a new school year. Just as we take a breath to exhale, we realize that our calendars our beginning to fill up with homework assignments, sports practices, Jody Hanisch games, music lessons, and the list goes on. Not to mention our own personal obligations and family commitments. It seems quite daunting. At times, you might even want to wave the white flag out the window and yell “I surrender!” I know I do! The good news is, there is help to make life seem a little less stressful and the school year a little more enjoyable. In this edition of YC Magazine, there is an article about staying organized. As a mom, I am always looking for effective tools to help our family accomplish everything we need to do. This article provides information on ways to help balance family life with other activities, as well as alleviate stress. The beginning of a new school year also brings new challenges. Your child has been promoted to a new grade level. They are growing older and becoming more independent. It is even more important to set aside time to have conversations with them without any disruptions. This can be quite challenging in the world of technology. There is a great article that addresses Texting vs. Talking. It provides tips for engaging our youth in conversation without the use of technology. As we move forward with this exciting school year, Wabash County Project Success would like to thank our advertisers for their continued support in helping us provide resources to promote the success and wellness of all youth in Wabash County. Find more great resources at: Social Link: (For Parents) http://wcprojectsuccess.com/social-link Facebook: Wabash County Project Success Twitter: @WProjectSuccess Funding provided in whole or in part by the Illinois Department of Human Services.

October 2015

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Wabash County Project Success Jody Hanisch, Director (618) 262-5104 wcpscoordinator@gmail.com 218 W 13th St, Mount Carmel, Illinois 62863

Do You Know The Signs and Symptoms of Depression

In Children:

The Depot Counseling Center

In Teens:

*Apathy *Headaches, stomachaches, back pain *Irritability or anger *Continuous feelings of sad*Fatigue or excessive sleeping * Difficulty conness *Social withdraw *Increased sensitivity to centrating *Excessive or inappropriate guilt rejection *Changes in appetite *Change in sleep *Rapid weight loss or gain *Irresponsible or riskpatterns *Vocal outbursts or crying *Difficulty taking behavior *Memory loss *Preoccupation concentrating *Low energy *Physical complaints 1001 N. Market St. Mt. with death and dying *Sadness, anxiety or hope*Loss of interests in hobbies or activities Carmel, IL 62863 lessness * Sudden drop in grades *Use of alcohol *Feeling of worthlessness *Thoughts of death or 618-263-4970 or drugs *Promiscuous sexual activity suicide *Impaired thinking

www.wabashhealth.org

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St. School St.Mary’s Mary’sCatholic Catholic School 417 Illinois 417Chestnut ChestnutStreet StreetMt. Mt. Carmel, Carmel, Illinois Alice AliceWirth, Wirth, Principal Principal www.smsrockets.net www.smsrockets.net http://www.smsrockets.net/spirit/ http://www.smsrockets.net/spirit/ (618)263-3183 263-3183 (618)

“Bethe theeyes eyesand and hands hands of Christ” “Be Christ”

Christmas

Friday, Dec 4th 4-8pm

The

Chamber

Wabash Count y I llinois

October 2015

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Uptown 618.262.5116

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confessions from The kitchen table

o get a perspective from both sides of the ball, we asked a parent and a referee for their reflections on sportsmanship and role models for kids. From a parent: I have always prided myself on being a very supportive parent of my two kids. After six years of competitive cheerleading, high school cheer, choir concerts, plays, preschool T-ball, middle school volleyball and basketball, and softball, I can count on one hand the number of games or performances I missed. I traveled to and around five states to watch them compete and perform and spent an undetermined amount of time on the road and in hotel rooms. I feel I should get an award. However, in those countless hours of support, there were times I conducted myself in ways that were less than stellar. In my defense, I did see some other parents who were worse. At one JV football game where my daughter was cheering, there was one parent from the opposing team who was running down the field screaming at the referee. She was so loud that all the parents on our side of the field could hear her. All I could think was, “She must have a lot of money on this game.” While I was not that bad, there was one time at a middle school basketball game

when I was ‘cheering’ for the girls and yelling what I thought were encouraging statements like, “Help her out,” “Defense,” and at one point, “Put your hands up!” I wasn’t intentionally yelling at the players, but it definitely came out that way. The girl kind of stopped and looked at me probably thinking, “Should I listen to this crazy woman!?” It occurred to me that in my quest to be supportive, I was actually crossing the line and being obnoxious. Yikes. I would like to think that I was being the kind of parent I hope my kids will be some day, but do I really want them copying everything they see me do? Probably not. We as parents need to keep in mind that our behavior has the potential of not only embarrassing our kids but, worse, being replicated at some time. From a referee: Forty years later, I can replay the scene with remarkable clarity. I was 15, and umpiring a 12-year-olds’ baseball game—my first time behind the plate. I was a catcher, so I thought I knew it all about calling balls and strikes. Throughout the entire game, a grandmotherly woman was strongly (!) questioning almost every call I made. I heard every word. And I was getting mad, but didn’t say anything. Afterward she followed me to my dad’s car, chewing my rear the whole way.

I spun around and delivered a line that would have made a sailor blush. Not one of my better moments in life, but that experience didn’t stop me from wanting to umpire and officiate. I also coached my children extensively and have loved helping with youth sports. I remember other times as an adult when I was refereeing youth basketball games. Yep, I missed a few calls and blew the whistle when I should have let them play. As an official, I try not to listen to the fans, but I can’t turn it off. I know when I’ve blown a call. I’ve been yelled at by grandmas, moms, dads and kids. But contrary to coach, player, or fan opinion, I didn’t favor one team or player over another. I went out of my way to be impartial. When I umpired that baseball game 40 years ago, I made $5 and got a Coke; when I refereed the basketball game four decades later I made $10. Why do I do it? Why should I be verbally abused by parents, coaches, grandparents, and even the players? Why should I care what they say? Well, I’m human and words can hurt. I always want to get better—if I didn’t, I sure wouldn’t step between the lines for some free abuse. Kids need support, and they need to learn character lessons. Yeah, I heard you yell at me from the stands. Just remember, when I hear what you’re saying, so do your kids. ■

You can submit your story at: wcpscoordinator@gmail.com For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though – if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.

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October 2015

staying

organ

And making ‘busy’ work for your family

October 2015

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nized By carolynn bright

To use the term “herding cats” to describe the chaos that back-to-school brings for families with multiple active, engaged children may be cliché, but it’s pretty accurate at times, according to Molly Severtson of Helena, Montana. olly, and her husband, Eric, are the proud parents of a 14-year-old daughter and 13-year-old twin daughters. Molly is employed full time in donor relations for a nonprofit, and Eric works full time in the information technology industry. “Right now we have three teenagers and our lives are intense with ‘teenage’ things,” Molly said, adding that she knows all too well that her girls will be grown up and living their own lives all too soon. “We try to mitigate the frustrations and enjoy the good times.” In addition to attending middle school, the Severtson girls partake in activities including violin lessons, Youth Orchestra, Fiddle Club, swimming, Clarinet Choir, dance lessons, student council, basketball, volleyball, soccer, and babysitting at their church. How do they keep all of those activities straight? “We use Google calendar,” Molly said, adding that each family member has a designated color on the calendar. “It’s the only way we can do it, and we still miss things once in a while.” Having a centralized calendar that all members of the family can access appears to be crucial to success when it comes to keeping a myriad of appointments and activities in order. This merged family schedule can be as simple as a dry erase calendar posted on the refrigerator, to one of numerous smart phone apps — free or paid — that are available to help. In addition to Google Calendar, the Cozi Family Organizer shows up on numerous continued on page 9

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continued from page 7

Parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask their children to pitch in to help the family accomplish everything it needs to do.

parent-oriented blogs as being an effective organizing tool, along with Skedj. At this point, Molly and Eric make sure the calendar is up to date and that their girls get to where they need to go. However, Molly says she will soon share the calendar with her children and expect them to take a more active role in the coordination of activities. “Our eldest will be driving soon, too, which should help,” she said. How do the Severtsons get their kids to and fro? Molly and Eric don’t have any family members living in their community, so until they hand the car keys over to one of their children, some finely orchestrated arrangements need to be made. In some cases, carpools are the answer. “We do set up a few carpools, but sometimes they don’t help much because we often combine trips, picking up multiple kids at a time, so they don’t always save us that much driving,” Molly said. In an effort to create a smoother flow for members of the household, the Severtsons have coordinated their work schedules to allow one parent to be home to handle “getting to school” activities, and the other to be finished with work to manage “after school” efforts. “We’re lucky to both have employers who understand the value of family time and the obligations we’re under,” Molly said. “We both work hard at our jobs and are able to flex our time so that we can take great care of our kids, too.” Molly said the ability for parents to work as a team when schedules get hectic is important as well. For example, Molly stays home in the evening to make dinner, ensure the girls are ready for their activities, do the dishes, and perform other necessary tasks. Eric handles all of the driving. “We had both been trying to drive and/or cook every evening, and that was too chaotic for me,” she said. “I’m happier when I’m focused.” How do they get it all done? Molly says parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask their children to pitch in to help the family accomplish everything it needs to do. The Severtsons rely upon their daughters to make their own lunches and organize their school books and projects for the

following day. Completing their homework to the best of their ability falls within the category of organizing themselves for the next day, as well. “Our kids are really responsible and we don’t have to oversee (homework) very much,” Molly said. “We’ve taught them a few organization and prioritization techniques, but they’ve figured it out on their own, mostly, and they do a great job.” It’s well known in the Severtson household that school always comes first. However, Molly added, these types of conflicts between activities provide an opportunity to talk about commitment and priorities. “We try to impress upon our kids the importance of following through when they’ve made a commitment to a team or activity,” she said. “It’s not always an easy balance.” How do they balance family time with other activities? While many families schedule “family time” into their calendars, the Severtsons are a little less regimented about that—they find their schedules naturally provide for family opportunities. Whether family time entails camping, going out to eat, traveling to visit family, Molly says they make the most of it. In addition, Molly and Eric encourage their children to support each other in their activities. “We spend that time together, driving to other towns to perform or compete and to cheer each other on,” she said. What happens when it doesn’t all work out? Of course, the Severtsons acknowledge that managing multiple schedules doesn’t always come together perfectly. Communication is key in those instances. Recently, Molly had to go out of town for work; one child had a soccer tournament out of town; and another had a dance recital at home. They made arrangements for another family to take over the soccer excursion while Eric stayed local for the recital. “We are almost always both able to attend our kids’ events, games, performances,” Molly said. “However, if only one of us (or occasionally, neither of us) can be at an event, the kids understand that our professional work is important too. That’s how we pay for the activities.”

Take a break now and then As busy as Molly and Eric get with nurturing their children’s passion for school and activities, the two of them always make time for themselves as a couple and as individuals. That may mean going for a bike ride, taking a walk, or going on a date night. “We recognize the importance of making sure we stay connected as a couple, as well, so that when the kids leave, our relationship is still strong,” Molly said. “We’ll be sad when they leave, but we’re also looking forward to some freedom to do things together that we’ve always dreamed of.” Molly advises parents not to get wrapped up in what other families are doing. Every family needs to find its own comfort level. “Ever since our kids were babies, we’ve tried not to be too kid-centered, or too parentcentered, but to be family-centered,” she said. “It’s only good if it works well for all five of us.” Stay on top of things Even if your family doesn’t go in as many directions as this one, staying organized will help reduce the stress and chaos of getting ready for back to school. Since iPhones and Androids are pretty common these days, many families use the automatic syncing system to update family calendars. Smartphones take the work out of ensuring that all calendars are up-to-date. Once you’ve set up a shared family calendar, all phones and computers that are networked to the calendar will automatically refresh whenever you or your family members update the schedule. If you don’t have the benefit of every family member having a phone, a calendar on the refrigerator with a dry erase marker can do the trick as well. To reduce the chances of throwing a wrench in the schedule, touch base with each child every night to see if anything new has come up that you need to be aware of, such as treats for practice or an upcoming project that is due. To keep your child’s classroom or teams organized, set up a Facebook page. Practices or assignments can be added and checked at a moment’s notice. It makes communication so much easier with all parties involved. A little bit of organizing at the beginning of the year can make for a smoother transition from back to school throughout the year. ■

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Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email wcpscoordinator@gmail.com and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.

Jayden Pettyjohn

FACES IN THE CROWD

N.I.C.E., 4th grade

Jayden is the son of Jay and Amy Pettyjohn. He enjoys 4-H where he specializes in hogs, chickens, rabbits, horses, and woodworking. He received a 1st place ribbon in woodworking. He likes to give back to the community by volunteering at the nursing home where he sings and visits with the residents. He enjoys seeing the smiles on the residents’ faces. Jayden is active in Parkview Christian Church and EUM youth program. In Jayden’s spare time, he enjoys taking guitar lessons. Jayden is known around N.I.C.E. as a student who will go out of his way to help someone else and always has a smile on his face. His future goals are to be an auctioneer or a copper miner.

Margaret Harness

St. Mary’s School, 6th grade

Margaret is the daughter of Jason and Nancy Harness. She is a great role model for all students. She displays great manners, a positive attitude, and a love for all people and animals. Along with her disposition, she is a conscientious student who strives to do her best, and encourages others to do the same. This young lady’s actions of loving words and encouragement have an impact on her class and students. She is supportive, passionate, and selfless. Her words and actions are fair and respectful and gains the respect of teachers and students. Margaret is an advocate for saving animals. She has taken the initiative to help promote awareness for our local animal shelter by collecting money.

Rayce Loudermilk

MCMS, 7th grade (nominated by 7th grade team)

Rayce is the son of Aaron and Nichole Loudermilk. He is an outstanding student both in academics and in the way he treats staff and students. Rayce is always prepared for class, puts forth his best effort, and is a top notch student. Rayce is a Student Leadership member who is trustworthy and reliable to get tasks done. Rayce is the oldest of three siblings and a great role model for his brother, Shade, and his sister, Journey. Rayce credits his parents for his strong work ethic. He describes his parents as hard workers who taught him to try his best in school. Rayce is involved in soccer and basketball, where he demonstrates good sportsmanship.

Mary Schroeder

MCHS, 12th grade (nominated by Mrs. Savage)

Mary Schroeder is the daughter of Kelly and Lisa Schroeder. She is the editor of the 2015-16 yearbook. She spent time over the summer working with Mrs. Savage to finish the 2014-15 yearbook. When school started this year, Mary already had pages under construction with pictures of our students over the summer. She also had created a plan to sell yearbook ads. This helped us to make the most of our class time. Because she worked hard ahead of time, the time in class is being used systematically. She is determined in her leadership role but also approachable. Because of Mary’s hard work and vision, the book itself will reflect her determination on every page.

ON1

ON1 is an eight week faith-based, character building series for young athletes. While it was designed to support junior football players, it has proven to be an effective avenue to bring a message of faith and character to other youth and adults alike. Each Wednesday practice is cut short and the players are served a light meal by various local churches. A different speaker then addresses the group about varying character traits such as Attitude, Leadership, Self Control and Discernment. For more information about ON1 or possibly starting an ON1 in your community please contact the program’s founder, Doug McPherson, through ON1’s Facebook page, www.facebook.com/On1Aces.

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*Counseling Services

*Driver’s Risk Evaluations

*Psychiatric Services

*Substance Abuse Treatment

*Crisis Services

*Anger Management Program

*DUI Evaluations and more!

For an appointment, Please Call: The Depot Counseling Center 1001 N. Market Street Mt. Carmel, IL 62863 618-263-4970 www.wabashhealth.org

First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) Welcomes you and your family to worship every Sunday at 9:30 a.m. followed by Sunday school for all ages. Children’s ministry and youth groups meet after school on Wednesdays. Call 262-7331 for more information.

40 developmental assets

Did you know The Depot Counseling Center Provides:

40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. We utilize the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, our community will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.

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assets in action

40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS

7 Support

1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.

Providing meals during Wednesday Night ON1 program

Empowerment

7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.

Boundaries & Expectations Wabash County Project Success YAB Members

Mother - You are the world to your family!

11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.

Constructive Use of Time

MCHS Faculty and Staff have fun in homecoming parade

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17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.

If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email the picture with information and the number of the asset the picture represents to: wcpscoordinator@gmail.com. Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.

26 Commitment to Learning

21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.

Dancing to give hope for the Children at Riley Hospital!

Positive Values

26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.

MCHS students understand the importance of education

Social Competencies

32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.

#IAmStrong - Youth choose to be real, be themselves

21 28

Positive Identity

37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.

Four generations of ACES showing their support for safe driving!

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facts about

e-cigarettes By Jennifer Heronema, President & CEO, The Legacy Center for Community Success

October 2015

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An electronic cigarette can contain as much nicotine as a regular cigarette, or more—amounts vary by cartridge.

The Survey Says According to the 2014 National Youth Tobacco Survey (NYTS), the percentage of middle and high school students reporting current use of cigarettes (defined as smoking at least once in past 30 days) decreased from 15.8 percent to 9.2 percent between 2011 and 2014. During the same period, hookah use among high school students doubled and e-cigarette use increased even more dramatically. NYTS, a school-based, self-administered questionnaire given annually to middle and high school students in both public and private schools, was given to 22,000 students in 2014. The nationally representative survey is conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Key findings of the 2014 survey include:

for Tobacco Products, said that the study confirms the tobacco product landscape has changed dramatically: “Middle and high school kids are using novel products like e-cigarettes and hookahs in unprecedented numbers, and many are using more than one kind of tobacco product.” An electronic cigarette can contain as much nicotine as a regular cigarette, or more—amounts vary according by the cartridge. Some contain no nicotine and only have a liquid, so users can have the experience of smoking with no harmful effects. But, the FDA has said that consumers have no way of knowing if other potentially harmful chemicals are being inhaled during use. Nicotine is dangerous and highly addictive for kids of any age, whether it comes from an e-cigarette, hookah, cigarette or cigar. Because the brain is still developing, adolescence appears to be a particularly vulnerable time. Research has clearly demonstrated that exposure to nicotine at a young age increases the chance that kids will become addicted. In addition to nicotine exposure, tobacco use can be harmful due to the numerous other chemicals present in tobacco products that can cause disease. Today, FDA has regulatory authority over cigarettes, cigarette tobacco, roll-your-own tobacco and smokeless tobacco. The agency is in the process of finalizing the rule that would extend its authority to regulate additional products that meet the legal definition of a tobacco product, such as e-cigarettes, cigars and hookahs. The FDA also is proposing a minimum age of 18 for buying tobacco. The public comment period ended in June, and it is uncertain when the final rule will be published.

» Current e-cigarette use among high school students increased from approximately 660,000 in 2013 to 2 million students in 2014.

What you can do: » Be clear with your kids that smoking of any kind is off limits.

» Among middle school students, current e-cigarette use more than tripled from 120,000 in 2013 to 450,000 students in 2014.

» Educate your kids that e-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is a highly addictive substance, as well as a stimulant, and overall dangerous drug. They should know that cancer-causing chemicals are found in e-cigarette cartridges.

Middle, High School Students Find E-Cigarette Flavors Appealing E-cigarette sales in the United States could reach an estimated $3.2 billion this year, compared to just $416 million five years ago. This growth is driven in large part by the growing popularity of e-cigarettes among young people. E-cigarettes are cigarette-shaped devices containing a nicotine-based liquid that is vaporized and inhaled. Hookahs are water pipes that are made to smoke specially made tobacco. It’s not surprising. E-cigarette manufacturers continue to use marketing tactics perfected by Big Tobacco for promoting regular cigarettes to kids. Their tactics include glossy magazine ads, concert sponsorships and auto races, celebrity endorsements and sweet, colorful flavors like apple, mint, bubble gum, grape and blueberry.

» This is the first time since the survey started tracking e-cigarette use in 2011 that it surpassed current use of every other tobacco product, including cigarettes. » Hookah smoking roughly doubled for middle and high school students, while cigarette use declined among high school students and remained unchanged for middle school students. » Among high school students, hookah use increased from 770,000 in 2013 to approximately 1.3 million students in 2014. » Among middle school students, current hookah use increased from 120,000 in 2013 to 280,000 students in 2014. Why should you care? In a statement in the June 2015 FDA Consumer Update, Benjamin J. Apelberg, Ph.D., branch chief of epidemiology at FDA’s Center

» It can be difficult to know if your kid is using e-cigarettes, but e-cigarettes have been associated with dry cough, as well as mouth and throat irritation. So if these types of symptoms are persistent in your child, and have no other known cause, you might want to investigate if there has been e-cigarette use. » Look up e-cigarettes on Google Images so you are clear about what they look like, as well as the cartridges that go with them, and can identify them, if needed. Adolescence is a critical time for brain development. Nicotine exposure at a young age may cause lasting harm to brain development, promote addiction and lead to sustained tobacco use. The only way to prevent these problems is to avoid nicotine altogether. ■

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October 2015

How to Avoid Raising

codependent kids By mark merrill

It may not seem like a big deal today, but shielding kids from consequences can have long-term consequences for parents. The following true story connects the dots on how we literally can’t afford to raise codependent kids or be enabling parents.

he quarter in which the Florida housing market crashed was also the quarter my friend’s brother Bill closed on a house he clearly couldn’t afford. He financed 110% of the purchase price, spent the extra cash on cosmetic upgrades, immediately put the house back on the market, and waited for his big payday. Bill’s salary wouldn’t nearly cover the mortgage, so his parents bailed him out. Within a year, the house tanked 40% of its value – long story short – Bill lost both the house and $50,000 of his parents’ money. Bill is 45 years old, and he’s gone through a lot of his parents’ savings over the past 25 years; but there’s little chance he’ll change until they’re as broke as he is. Why? Because they’ve been codependent since the enabling started in the first grade. It started small, such as Mom doing his chores so Bill wouldn’t get in trouble with Dad. Quickly, it moved to homework cover-ups and “science project by parent.” Then it graduated to Mom covering when he skipped school; Dad lying to the police when he wrecked a car he didn’t have permission to drive; and increasingly large financial defaults. By the time Mom and Dad let Bill move back home after failing college (no questions asked), he felt entitled to every bailout that came his way. The bailouts just kept getting bigger.

Naturally, we’re all concerned about keeping our kids safe and happy. But we raise our children to fly, not flop around the nest. One day, we’re going to have to let go and, when we do, it’s a good idea to make sure they’re equipped and ready. Or they’ll end up like Bill: pushing 50 years of age and still suffering from failure to thrive. Expect more of them We all tend to rise to the level of expectation. A two-year-old can learn to pick up toys. A three-year-old can help to set the table. A four-year-old can take dirty clothes to the laundry room and learn how to operate the machine. The more, and the earlier, we train children to contribute, the more self-reliance will become a part of their DNA. Allow (managed) natural consequences Typically, there is no better learning tool than to experience the consequence of behavior. A five-year-old refuses to clean up the toys in the middle of the floor? The toys visit the attic for a prescribed amount of time. A ten-year-old curses? Get a dictionary, then handwrite five acceptable words that mean the same thing, plus their complete definitions. Establish a direct line between behavior and a real world result.

Be consistent Mom and Dad need to be on the same page because learning thrives where children know what to expect. When children understand that what they do or do not do makes a consistent and measurable difference in the quality of their life, they will become more likely to accept responsibility for themselves and work to impact the outcome more favorably. Be clear Leave no doubt as to the outcome when encouraging children to accept responsibility. Then having made ourselves clear, we need to follow through. This is why it’s important not to threaten beyond our willingness to enforce. If we say, for example, “If you do that again, I will take away your phone for a month,” but then only take it away for one day, we have created a problem. Trust them Having made ourselves clear, we must demonstrate trust by getting out of the way. We can’t expect a child to grow if we treat them as if they are incapable of doing what we ask. When they succeed, we congratulate. If they fail, we follow through on consequences because we believe they could have done better. ■

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The more, and the earlier, we train children to contribute, the more self-reliance will become a part of their DNA.

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October 2015

BY THE

NUMBERS

Q. What should I do if a child discloses that he

or she is being (or has been) sexually abused?

Sexual abuse affects many families. It is estimated that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18. Therefore if we have children in our lives, it’s possible that they may disclose their own experience of sexual abuse to us. It is important for adults to understand that disclosure can be a scary and difficult process for children. Some children who have been sexually abused may take weeks, months, or even years to fully reveal what was done to them. Many children never tell anyone about the abuse. In general:

» » »

Girls are more likely to disclose than boys. School-aged children tend to tell a caregiver. Adolescents are more likely to tell friends.

Very young children tend to accidentally reveal abuse, because they don’t have as much understanding of what occurred or the words to explain it. Children are often reluctant to tell about being sexually abused. Some reasons for this reluctance may include:

» » » » »

Fear that the abuser may hurt them or their families. Fear that they will not be believed or will be blamed and get in trouble. Worry that their parents will be upset or angry. Fear that disclosing will disrupt the family, especially if the perpetrator is a family member or friend. Fear that if they tell they will be taken away and separated from their family.

Your reaction to the disclosure will have a big effect on how a child deals with the trauma of sexual abuse. Children whose parents or caregivers are supportive heal more quickly from the abuse. To be supportive, it is important to:

» » »

Stay calm. Hearing that a child has been abused can bring up powerful emotions, but if you become upset, angry, or out of control, this will only make it more difficult for the child to disclose. Believe the child, and let the child know that he or she is not to blame for what happened. Praise the child for being brave and for telling about the sexual abuse. Protect the child by getting him or her away from the abuser (if you are able) and immediately reporting the abuse to local authorities. If you are not sure who to contact, call the ChildHelp® National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453; www.childhelp.org/get_help) or, for immediate help, call 911.

Have a question?

email: wcpscoordinator@gmail.com We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.

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The number of work days (8 hours a day) it would take for the average person to read the Terms and Conditions they agree to in a year. www.funfactz.com/latest

100

Every second, Americans collectively eat 100 pounds of chocolate. www.strangefacts.com/facts3.html

57,285

The amount of fuel a Boeing 747 airliner holds, in gallons. www.strangefacts.com/facts1.html

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet in the air. woddstuffmagazine.com/50-really-weird-facts-about-your-body.html

The average number of pitches that a major league baseball lasts. uselessfacts.net/sport-facts/

The number of swimming pools you will fill with the amount of saliva you will produce during your lifetime. woddstuffmagazine.com/50-really-weird-facts-about-your-body.html

262. 237. 8472

TEXT-A-TIP Help us keep everyone safe by texting us about bullying, underage drinking, drug use, suicidal thoughts or anything else you think might be dangerous or illegal.

WABASH COUNTY

All tips are handled privately and confidentially. If itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an emergency, please call 911 immediately.

PROJECT SUCCESS

Building Communities, Strengthening Lives

Public Health Services Services offered: * Child and Adult Immunizations * Lead Screenings *Oral Drug Testing * Blood Draws *W.I.C./ Family Case Management * Family Planning * Foot Clinics * Blood Pressure Monitoring * Blood Draw *Breast Feeding Peer Counseling

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October 2015

Teen Texting vs. Talking By mark merrill

October 2015

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ave you ever tried to have a conversation with your child only to be quickly interrupted as they respond to a friend’s text? If so, you’re not alone. In the Merrill home, Susan and I have had more than a few conversations with our children where one of their friends butts in on our conversation with a text. It can be frustrating, can’t it? I’m sure there are many children who have experienced the same thing with their parents. To be fair, our kids have grown up with technology as a part of their everyday existence. It’s almost as if it’s part of their DNA. Yes, it is frustrating when they, or we, get too engrossed in phones and seem unattached and unaware of what’s around us, but we need to understand what’s behind it before we can do something about it. Before you assume the worst about your non-communicative child or grandchild, consider some of these reasons that may be behind their overuse of phones and other technology: Avoiding Awkward Situations and Conversations Children avoid awkwardness as much as they can. They often already feel awkward about themselves, their appearance, their place in the world. They may feel a sense of relief if they can avoid such feelings by being heads down on a chat or in a game. Generational Comfort in Digital Communication People find it so much easier to text than to talk, especially young men. They don’t see it automatically as an alternative to face-to-face communication, but simply one of many ways to communicate. ICYMI (In Case You Missed) ICYMI is an acronym for “In Case You Missed It.” It pervades social media and news media today. It’s used to trigger curiosity about news, marketing messages, and media announcements. But over time, the constant barrage of ICYMI messages creates a bit of anxiety in people, stirring a fear of being out of the loop on what everyone else is talking about and reacting to.

Set Values Discuss as a family what your values and priorities are and how they will that will impact your decisions, guidelines, and limitations. » Do this as a team. Let your family know that the guidelines you’re looking to create are to be developed and shared by everyone in the family, not just the kids. Talk with, not at, your kids and give them some say in the process. » Discuss how your family values working on relationships with family, friends, and people all around you face-to-face, not just through technology. » Develop a statement that expresses your family’s commitment to following your established guidelines in a certain way (e.g. respected, heard, and loved, etc.). Set Guidelines Decide the ways you’ll use and not use technology in your home. » Establish rules regarding the usage of social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other online activities. » Make specific times or areas of your house tech-free zones. Agree on whether or not to have phones in the bedroom, at the dinner table or other areas of the home. For example, phones are allowed at the dinner table during meals and Internet access is not allowed in the bedrooms. » Create a space for isolating smartphones and tablets, etc. Have a basket to hold electronics during tech-free times or when entering tech-free zones. For example, place one by the dining room table during mealtimes. No matter what procedures your family agrees on, remember to do so with patience and grace. ■

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) In addition to viral “news” dominating the ICYMI trends in social media, Fear of Missing Out, or “FOMO”, creates a similar social anxiety in young people. Their tech is their connection to the outside world. If they fall behind in what’s going on with friends or in those social arenas, they begin to feel like they’re falling out of touch with people, causes and interests. Here are some important steps you can take to improve communication between you and your child or grandchild and get beyond texting to actual talking and relationship building. Set the Scene Sit down with your child and gently help them to understand why this issue is going to be addressed. » Review the reasons listed above, and ask your children which, if any, are true of them. Speak candidly, but kindly, about those struggles. » Be willing to recognize that you may struggle with some of the very same issues. » Discuss together what some of the long-term consequences might be for all of you: poor communication skills, shallow relationships, an inability to function in jobs or community, and fractured family relationships now and in the future.

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October 2015

Southeastern Illinois Agency on Aging 516 N. Market St. Mt. Carmel, IL 62863 618-262-2306 or 800-635-8544

A voice for our seniors and persons with disabilities. Our agency, and your local senior centers, offer a wide variety of support to help you get services you or a loved one may need including: Senior Medicare Patrol – SMP – Prevention of Medicare Fraud Help with Medicare questions/prescription plans Caregiver Support Services – GAP funding Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Senior Nutrition – Congregate and Home Delivered Meals Home Care/Health – Shawnee Alliance and Effingham Sr. Services Transportation – Rides Mass Transit Legal Services – through our senior centers Adult Protection Services – Referrals to SWAN to protect vulnerable adults Ombudsman Program – To advocate for those in nursing homes Senior Employment Support – Help with resumes, job skills, job search VIP – Program for Veterans to remain in their homes Respite Program for Caregivers

Visit our Facebook page and website at seiaoa.com

St. Mary-Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church 125 West 5th Street Mt. Carmel, Illinois Reverend Father Robert Zwilling, Pastor www.stmarysparish.net (618) 262-5337 Mass Times: Saturday 5:00 p.m. ~ Sunday 7:00 a.m. & 10:30 a.m.

St. Sebastian Catholic Church 4921 N 1400 Blvd Mt. Carmel, Illinois Reverend Father Robert Zwilling, Pastor Mass Times: Sunday 8:30 a.m. & Wednesday 6:30 p.m.

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college prep It’s for Freshmen and Sophomores, Too By Carolynn Bright

eniors, seniors, seniors! It seems like when people talk about college preparation, they immediately focus their attention on high school seniors. That makes sense, but freshmen and sophomores can be proactive, too. “Obviously there will always be plenty of work to be done in the junior and senior years in high school,” said Greg Kolwicz, outreach manager for nonprofit Student Assistance Foundation (SAF). “It only makes sense to check as many items off the list as early as possible.” Here are some tips to get students started on planning: Identify a goal Ninth and tenth grade may be too soon for most students to select a career, but it’s a good idea to figure out whether college, trade school, or another path will be part of their future. Many decisions over the next few years will be made based on this goal. Check the map It is hard to reach a goal if one isn’t heading in the right direction. Have your child check with the school counselor regularly to make sure he/ she is taking the right classes and will have all of the credits needed to graduate from high school and meet the requirements for acceptance into the postsecondary program of choice. Explore opportunities Freshman and sophomore years are good times to refine goals by exploring all options available. Use websites like The College

Board’s bigfuture.collegeboard.org to research interests, careers, postsecondary schools, scholarships, and more. This research will help to refine your student’s goals for the future. Help students get organized, manage their time, and learn to study These skills are going to serve them well throughout high school, college and into adulthood. Some suggestions include purchasing a daily planner to write down assignments, or spending time with a teacher or tutor who can help suggest effective study techniques. Have students challenge themselves High school is no time to coast. Encourage them to invest in themselves by taking rigorous core classes like Algebra II. Have them consider taking dual credit and advanced placement classes. Potentially, they could graduate from college sooner and save money on tuition to boot. Get them involved School isn’t all homework and tests! Encourage them to get involved in extra-curricular activities like yearbook, sports, band, or any other club. Not only do extra-curricular activities look good on college applications, they also allow teens to be a part of their high school community. Planning now for the future can make the transition from high school into adulthood smoother and less stressful. ■

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October 2015

Wabash County Crime Stoppers

Lancaster Christian School 6484 Hwy 11 Mt. Carmel, IL Phone # 618-299-8671

Preschool thru 6th Grade Individualized Instruction Christian Curriculum A-Beka Christian Teachers Consistent Discipline Daily Bible Study Affordable Tuition Hot Lunches Weekly Chapel Small Class Sizes Smartboards in Classrooms Keyboarding Skills Field Trips Taken

Transportation May Be Available

120 E. 4th Street Mt. Carmel, IL 62863 Business Phone: (618) 262-4114

TIP LINE: 618-262-HALT (4258) Find us on Facebook

Lancaster Christian School IL

Wabash Valley Youth in Action, Inc. 400 N. Market St. Mt. Carmel, IL 62863 618-263-4230 www.wvyouthinaction.org Youth Programs

No child will be denied the opportunity to play due to inability to pay. Scholarships are available through YIA.

Basketball

Spring and Fall Soccer

www.facebook.com/ WVYouthinAction Follow us on Twitter @WVYIA

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Flag Football

Bill Mundy Memorial Golf Scramble May 27, 2016

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Mission Statement

October 23, 2016

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Volleyball

To work with parents, families, schools, and the community to promote and enhance the physical, mental and moral well-being of area youth.

We are neighbors, community leaders, and global citizens uniting for the common good. With you, we can accomplish even more.

1418 College Drive Mt. Carmel, IL 62863

(618)262-8621 www.wabashgeneral.com www.wcprojectsuccess.org

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Wabash County Project Success 218 W 13th Street Mount Carmel, IL 62863

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