LOVE, SEX & TABOO! IN PHOTOS Photos by Brithi Sehra, Jerry Zhang, Kinza Zafar
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NEWS
International students say they feel worried about new study restrictions The provincial and federal governments announced a series of changes to student permits, housing guarantees and minimum funds By Krishika Jethani International students at Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) said they are concerned about their future in Canada due to the recent restrictions placed on student and post-graduate work permits. Earlier this year, the federal government announced it will approve approximately 360,000 undergraduate study permits for 2024, reducing the number by 35 per cent from 2023. In a press conference, Canadian Minister of Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Marc Miller said the cap will be in place for two years and the number of permits to be issued in 2025 will be reassessed at the end of this year. Starting on Sept. 1, 2024, international students who attend private colleges licensed to deliver the curriculum of an associated public college, are no longer eligible to apply for a post-graduate work permit (PGWP). Tomi Daniels, a third-year professional communication student from Nigeria, was “shocked” when she heard about the changes. “I came [to Canada] in 2021 and my younger brother just came in last year. If he had just waited another year, there could have been a possi-
bility that he wouldn’t get it,” she said. Daniels knows other international students who have siblings or friends wanting to come to Canada. But now, there is a feeling of “panic” around it. “I just kind of feel worried for the future of international students wanting to come to Canada,” she said. Miller also said international students applying for a study permit must have access to at least $20,635, instead of the original $10,000 requirement that had been in place for the past two decades. The new financial requirement is to help international students understand the increased cost of living and studying in Canada. Ontario Minister of Colleges and Universities Jill Dunlop also announced Ontario colleges and universities will be required to guarantee housing for incoming international students. At the same press conference as Miller’s announcement, Canadian Minister of Housing, Infrastructure and Communities Sean Fraser said he expects community members to feel relieved as the cap on international students will help with the affordability crisis. In an emailed statement to The Eyeopener, TMU President Mohamed Lachemi said it’s hard for the univer-
Love & Sex Managing Editor Kinza “Blow Job Shots” Zafar Editor-in-Chief Negin “Stirke!” Khodayari News Gabriela “Karen” Silva Ponte Dexter “Mouth Thing” LeRuez Anastasia “Wanderlust” Blosser Photo Brithi “Abstract” Sehra Jerry “MIA” Zhang Sammy “Lindsay” Kogan Online Madeline “Bedtime” Liao Shaki “#1 Sports Fan” Sutharsan
SAMMY KOGAN/THE EYEOPENER sity to determine the full impacts of the federal government’s decision. “I do want to reassure prospective students who are considering studying at TMU that the university continues to welcome international students as an integral and valued part of our community,” Lachemi said. “We are here to support them through these changes.” Lachemi also said that TMU is still assessing the housing policy changes since the Ontario government has not released any details yet. Despite the uncertainty, he said the university will continue to pri-
oritize first-year and farthest distance students for residence spaces. Cathy Crowe, a professor in the department of politics and public administration at TMU, doesn’t think there will be any “apparent improvement” in the housing crisis. “When [international students] are here they face the same challenges, perhaps more of a challenge, in finding affordable housing,” she said. “Universities and colleges have been very hard-pressed to assist them in finding housing, but they’re certainly not the cause of the housing price.” Avi Friedman, an architecture professor at McGill University, said the rise in the cost of housing “far exceeded” the rise in people’s income. “In the past five years, we have seen the situation rapidly deteriorate but it deteriorated now to a state where the government needs to find all kinds of urgent, massive measures, whether they are true or not…and I believe that among other things, they target international students,” he said. British Columbia announced they are banning new post-secondary institutions from applying to enroll international students for the next two years. In a press conference, B.C.’s outgoing Minister of Post-Secondary Education Selina Robinson said the freeze is due to the international education system not working well and “exploitative practices.” “International students contribute to Canada’s economy. They come here, they spend money, we need them. I don’t think this is a sure thing, that if you limit them, all of a sudden there will be affordable housing,” said Friedman. Sepehr Parniani, an international fourth-year TMU creative industries student from Iran, said the government is putting a lot of constraints on people that are trying to make a living here. He believes it’s going to impact his future studies as he is looking into applying to grad school. Read more at theeyeopener.com
Arts and Culture Caelan “Locker Lust” Monkman Business and Technology Jake “Jack Black” MacAndrew Communities Bana “Gerogé” Yirgalem Sports Ilyas “#WeWantCody” Hussein Daniella “Turtleneck” Lopez Fun and Satire Joshua “April 19th” Chang Media Konnor “Pilsner 24” Killoran Vanessa “DENNYS?!” Kauk General Manager Liane “Fuits!” McLarty Design Director J.D. “Text Wrapped” Mowat Media Contributors Divine “BY EMMA!?!” Amayo LeBron “17” Pryce Felipe “Foosball Fan” Karmel Lazar “Clutch” Mihajlovic Special Issue Contributors Mariyah “Latte Cake” Salhia Jay “Spoiler:” Ashdown Andrea “We’re Hot” Zayan Michelle “Slay” Menezes Hannah “Sexpert” Mercanti Rowan “Feach Fetish” Flood Hania “Smut” Noor Ricardo “Kiss Kiss” Felix Oona “Top-stepper” Azimi Dexter “Wrap” Sloan Julia “Canva Queen” Lawrence Denise “Animal” Xiao Nalyn “Political Play” Tindall Samir “Left Leg” Macklai Eli “Right Leg” Silverstone Lillie “Grapefruit” Coussee Arjun “Archives” Kalra Alanette “Locker” C. Gueco Akosua “Hot” Yeboah Yasmine “People” Marouane Elizabeth “Read” Huh Khushy “Books” Vashisht Enza “Nailed” Borson Jes “Bestie” Mason
I‘M STILL LEARNING
A N D L OV I N G By Kinza Zafar
Sex is more than just the act that brought us to this earth or what’s in our pants. Through sex, one can experience both pleasure and pain, liberation and oppression. It is with this in mind that I approach these stories, conversations and this issue at large. This time last year I was a photo editor at The Eyeopener,, meeting with Eyeopener the previous features editor about visuals for the upcoming annual Love & Sex issue. I was so excited about it that I agreed to take on my first solo cover. Each year, the features editor picks the issue’s theme. Our former features editor, Stephanie Davoli had chosen a theme that allowed her to explore whether romance was dying in a generation of situationships and soft-launches. I worked hard on the cover to bring
her ideas to life. It was then that I dreamt up what theme I’d choose if I ever got the chance: Love, Sex & Taboo!. Nearly one year later, here we are! Taboos are social customs that stigmatize, and often forbid, the discourse of certain practices, people, places and things. Along with an assumed societal restriction on speech, practice or association, taboo acts are also sometimes criminalized through legal prohibition. For example, though same sex marriage is legal in Canada, homosexuality still remains a ‘taboo’ subject in certain households and communities across the country. This can be applied to other previously criminalized taboos like masturbation, sex for pleasure, interracial relationships and more. Taboos are often reinforced
through religious and/or political ideologies that create vicious cycles of internalized beliefs across generations. It’s essential to recognize how systems of oppression like patriarchy and racism, along with colonization, influence and inform these taboos.
My whole life is ‘taboo.’ I’m a brown Queer ex-Muslim tattooed artist with purple hair who smokes weed, enjoys gin and tonics and has casual, safe, sex. I live in a single-parent household made up of three girls that disowned our large former family due to ‘ideological differences’—the difference being our refusal to let men dictate our lives. I grew up associating sex with violence and control. I hated the one that had been assigned to me and I dreaded the day I thought I’d be forced to have it in order to satisfy my family’s aspirations of reproduction. And for the past 12 years I’ve been attempting to unravel the deep seated generational cycles of cultural patriarchal beliefs that I narrowly escaped from.
Believe it or not, 2023 was my first year as a single adult. I spent most of my teenage years in back-to-back long-term relationships, the most recent one lasting nearly a quarter of my 22-year-old life. But it turned out the commitment I had been lacking this whole time was to myself. Now, as I sit here working on this issue and writing this letter from the editor—on what would’ve been my 6-year anniversary with the man who convinced me I was asexual—I am confident in knowing that I am all I will ever need. Love, Sex & Taboo!, will unravel, or rather undress, the things we’ve been told we shouldn’t talk about. From fucking yourself, fucking other people, fucking in front of people, not fucking and a lot of other shit—beware, this issue is fucking HOT.
LOVE & SEX 2024 SURVEY RESULTS By Anastasia Blosser & Caelan Monkman
Let’s talk about sex! Well, unless you’re with your parents, seemingly. To better understand the horny habits of Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) students, the annual Love & Sex survey asked the student body about all things taboo—including how openly you speak about sex with your parents (ap-
parently, not very much). The Eyeopener then did some BDSM (Breakdown, Data, Statistics and Mathematics, that is) to determine what erotic escapades TMU students are getting up to. To read all of the steamy results of the 2024 Love & Sex survey, be sure to head to theeyeopener.com.
WE ASKED 2 SEXPERTS HOW TO GO
F U C K
Y O U R S E L F
T h i n k y o u k n o w a l l t h e r e i s t o k n o w a b o u t m a s t u r b a t i o n ? We t h i n k n o t By Hannah Mercanti
oritize our own pleasure, because we’ve been taught that pleasure Questions and answers have is a bad thing, not something we been edited for length and clarity. should value. Do you masturbate? Whoops, sorry if that caught you off guard. Clutch your pearls if you want, but the majority of us have experiences with self-pleasure, even if we don’t want to talk about it. The Eyeopener sat down with Andrew Gurza, a disability consultant and co-founder of Bump’n, a sex-toy company by and for disabled individuals, and Michelle Fischler, a registered social worker, registered psychotherapist and certified sex therapist, to find out everything you never knew you didn’t know about masturbation. Q: It’s no secret that most people have some kind of experience with masturbation. If it is so common, why is it so taboo? AG: It’s taboo because we have hundreds of years of pseudoscience and doctors telling us that masturbation is bad for us, and that’s made people really, really afraid of it. I think we just don’t pri-
to come from your genitals. Try recentering some of that sexual energy to other erogenous zones, like your arms, legs, earlobes or some part of yourself that isn’t your penis or vagina if you don’t feel connected to them.
Q: How can someone with little to no education about masturbation start to explore the world of self-pleasuring? AG: You can just start out by spending some time touching your body and seeing what feels good for you. Try not to go in with any preconceived notions about what should feel good, just work on finding a pleasure centre for yourself. Just spend some time with your body—with my body being severely disabled, it is touched everyday by other people, whether it be to get up, to have a shower and even to help me get undressed and in bed to be able to explore my body. So I think it’s such a privilege to be able to touch your own body.
providing yourself with Q: How can people that are a sense of pleasure. religious practice self-pleaNot to mention, it can sure without feeling shame really help people sleep! or guilt? People can use masturbaMF: What’s really cool now tion as a way of grounding is that there are people who themselves when they are religious in this world feel stress. Coping stratand want to learn how to be egies are being able to sex positive while also befind a way to get us out ing religious. I spoke with a of our head and into our body, Christian sex therapist who and there’s no better way to do talks to her clients about masturthat than focusing on sensations. bation using scripture. Try to go into a sexual situation, knowing Q: How can transgender and that some of the shame could gender non-conforming people come up, but take a deep breath navigate feeling gender dys- and reassure yourself that you’re phoria and feeling disconnect- okay, this isn’t bad. There’s just ed from their body during mas- been this false attachment beturbation? tween sex and morality where it’s AG: I’m a non-binary person, so I made sex this immoral act and Q: How can masturbation be a understand feeling disconnected it’s just realizing that sex, sexuform of self-care? from your body. I would say to trans ality and pleasure aren’t tied to MF: Well, masturbation is a way and non-binary folks that your sex- morality. You know, in fact, it’s of being kind to your body and ual pleasure doesn’t always need morally neutral.
Q: How can physically disabled people navigate masturbation when the education out there isn’t really for them? AG: It’s a lot of trial and error. Often, you need to be creative and take what is already out there and adapt it. I would recommend going to a sex shop. Go with a caregiver, with a friend, or by yourself, and say to the worker, ‘I am severely disabled and I want to get off. What would you recommend?’ Then buy a couple toys and see if they work for you. I have a friend who adapted a bunch of toys using pillows, so it just takes some creativity. Q: What are some non-traditional ways to masturbate that disabled people could work into their self-pleasure routines? AG: I’ve read about this thing recently called thinking yourself off, when you don’t even use your hands. You just use your imagination and think about a hot sex scene. If you’re somebody that can’t use your hands at all, you can still get sexual gratification through imagination.
WHAT I WISH I KNEW ABOUT SEX The tribulations of learning through trial and error By Notah BeeBeeElle When I was 17, I wisely thought the best place to hide a condom was within the riveting pages of The Hunger Games. One day, my older sister picked up the book and discovered the secret in its pages —the golden condom wrapper. I can picture the realization spreading across her face as she put two and two together—her baby sister might’ve been getting her freak on. She immediately started interrogating me about it and I knew I was fucked—like completely fucked. I put on an Oscar-worthy performance as a defence. I didn’t need her to know I was having any sexual experiences yet. I mean, I don’t blame her. I am her little sister after all: the baby of the family and the princess of the castle. But that purely embarrassing experience made me think, When did you actually learn about sex? Well, you’d probably expect that I learned about it from my parents through the typical “birds and the bees” talk—which couldn’t be possible because I’m pretty sure my parents don’t even know I’ve kissed a boy. I learned from a good
old reliable source—Wattpad. At the age of nine, I was on that app day and night, ravaging any dark Harry Styles fanfiction I could possibly find. I thought it was art. I wanted to inhale every word. But, when I got to the sex scenes, I was mortified. I was like a deer caught in headlights,. What the fuck did I just read?,’ screamed inside my developing young brain. I felt so uncomfortable about the words being used. I read words like ‘members’ and genuinely believed that’s how people talked about men’s private parts. That is, until I had a sex education class when I was 13 and learned that everything I read in those cringy-ass fanfictions was a lie. All I’m saying, dear younger me, is that I pray and ask you not to rely on Wattpad or Tumblr to educate yourself about sex. You don’t want to be hiding condoms in books or having awkward conversations with your sister. Also, please, for the love of God, don’t let yourself believe that ‘member’ is the right term for dick. God forbid you tell a man you want to give him head and refer to his dick as a “member.’ I promise he will ghost you. Not like that’s happened
to me or anything… Everyone in this generation knows what foreplay is, I mean it’s essentially the buildup of sex right? Unfortunately, I was not one of the lucky soldiers who knew what it was. One time I was getting intimate with a guy I really liked and I mean, I was down bad for him. Everything was smooth sailing, shit was getting hot and heavy between the two of us. Yet, all of a sudden, I felt his fingers reach in between my legs. I was so confused because respectfully, what the fuck was happening? He looked at me confused because I jumped back while kicking him square in the chest. It wasn’t like I hated the guy, I liked him but my body reacted so fast before my mind processed anything. My clueless self was genuinely freaked out as my chest was heaving up and down due to the makeout session we just had. He looked at me pissed as fuck and was explaining that he was trying to ease us both before we got to the real action. That, my friend, is called foreplay. I personally thought when you had sex you just got to it, just get it in, but clearly I was wrong. Now, I know that you gotta let shit mari-
nate. I mean you can’t just marinate chicken and then cook it. You gotta let it soak in before getting to the finished product. Another area I’ve since explored is high sex. Having sex while being high wasn’t something the younger me would’ve thought about. Anyone who knows me knows now I can handle weed and the only thing I feel is pure hunger. However, that wasn’t the case back when I first had high sex. When I was getting intimate with my ex, it felt very good, I mean probably because the weed was hitting me hard. But, the worst thing happened. I started yawning mid-way as my eyes were fluttering, fighting to stay open. He then asked me, “If you’re getting bored, just say that.” I was so embarrassed, I went to the bathroom to spray
wa-
ter all over my cherry-red, heated face and gave myself a small pep talk. “Come on girl, get your shit together,” I said to myself as I stared at my red hazy eyes. As soon as I returned, he was dressed and wanted to chill and watch a movie. If I knew that’s how my first time having high sex was going to be, I would’ve avoided it. Now I know how my body reacts to weed so I’m better prepared when it comes to sexual intercourse while being high. Well, at least now I have a much more reasonable idea of what sex is as a whole. Consider this my promise to myself that I will have that talk with my future kids about all the taboos of sex so they don’t resort to things like hiding condoms in books or relying on Wattpad for sex-ed.
Words by Rowan Flood Visuals by Brithi Sehra
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It’s harsh. It happens quickly,” says Elaine Ruiz*, a thirdyear media production student. “Without warning.” In 2019, Ruiz had someone close to her pass away from an acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS)related illness. It happened within a couple of months. He was in his 20s, living with her and her family in China. Ruiz explains he had many passions; he loved animals and travel and was driven to learn Mandarin. She couldn’t remember why he was so motivated to learn the language, but he was. However, he couldn’t even leave the house shortly after his arrival. He got thin and couldn’t consume food or water. “He just got really sick,” Ruiz says over Zoom as a slight coarseness enters her voice. “We had no idea why.” Before this experience, AIDS seemed like a faraway “tale” for her. Undetectable = Untransmittable (U = U), Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), Viral Load, Antiretroviral therapy (ART), are terms that people living with human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and those in communities with a higher risk of contracting it are familiar with— terms they must know well. However, it’s a language unheard of for others. Even the meaning and difference between HIV and AIDS must be understood, Dr. Trevor Hart, director of the HIV Prevention Lab and Toronto Metropolitan University’s (TMU) new HOPE Centre for Gender and Sexual Minority People explains. “Most people with HIV nowadays, as long as they’re taking medication, they’ll never get to AIDS,” Hart says. But according to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, if left untreated HIV, can lead to AIDS. Hart says even people who have at some point had an AIDS diagnosis can be healthy now. Further, he says even when someone is sick from HIV, their symptoms may not meet the criteria for AIDS.
The stigma surrounding the virus is just as harmful, if not more, as living with it, says Hart over the phone. Hart explains people living with HIV fear judgement, having often been told something is wrong with them. They’re labelled as ‘bad,’ even though they’re engaging in something that’s as natural as sex. Hart believes some people are unaware HIV is still
around. But transmissions still occur, and people are still dying from AIDS-related illnesses. Statistics from UNAIDS show that about 39 million people globally were living with HIV in 2022, and around 1.3 million people became newly infected with HIV in the same year. Many TMU students remain largely misinformed about sexual health, particularly about one of the most stigmatized areas —HIV and AIDS. From a lack of sexual health education in high school to shame around STIs, including HIV, students are entering university unfamiliar with the realities of a virus that continues to impact millions of people. According to CATIE, Canada’s leading information source on AIDS, HIV and hepatitis C, for every 100,000 people nationwide, 170 of them are living with HIV. Improved sexual education can decrease stigma and misconceptions about HIV. Hart attests that sex education must “include a discussion of HIV, how you get it and how you can avoid getting it.” Further, Hart says people should understand that those living with HIV who take their medication and maintain an undetectable viral load cannot transmit HIV, a common misconception about people living with the virus. Many people living with HIV or knowledgeable about the virus express that HIV education creates a safer environment for everyone, no matter their status.
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U = U means someone with HIV will have an undetectable viral load, an amount of the virus in their blood, that makes successfully transmitting the virus sexually impossible. PrEP is a medicine that prevents HIV, and ART is a treatment that doesn’t cure but allows people with HIV to live healthy, long lives. Although the World Health Organization claims approximately 76 per cent of people living with HIV globally in 2022 were accessing treatment, they live with much more than a physical illness.
hen Aaron Clarke, the gay men’s community education & resource coordinator at the AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT), was first diagnosed with HIV, he spent a couple of nights sleeping on the floor. He didn’t want his partner to touch him, or share a bed with him. His thoughts ranged from something is wrong with me, I’m stupid, to I let this happen to me. His mental and sexual health both took a hit. “I wasn’t interested in having sex whatsoever,” Clarke says. Hart has worked with people living with HIV for many years who’ve had similar feelings to Clarke. During his graduate studies, Hart trained as a clinical psychologist and worked at a community centre for sexual and gender minority youth. He began to identify common feelings amongst people he worked with and himself. “They had a lot of shame and fear,” Hart says. Hart explains people with HIV worry about being judged and treated poorly. Hart recognizes that he wants to help people not only cope with the medical side of their diag-
nosis but the mental impact too. “Sometimes the worst part of it was coping with the stigma of living with HIV,” Hart says, referring to the youth he worked with.
“People are often told who are living with HIV, ‘What did you do wrong?’” Hart says. He clarifies that often the people accusing them of “doing something wrong” are engaging in the same behaviour: having anal or vaginal sex without a condom—“how most of us in the world are made.” Hart adds, “In reality, the people that are contracting HIV are having sex…Doing what most people on campus are doing.” Through his work in graduate school, Hart realized he wished to help people who were HIV-negative stay negative and help those with HIV resist the stigma and live full and happy lives. An online survey by the Canadian Foundation for AIDS found that the majority of youth ages 12 to 25—at least six in 10—consistently disagreed or strongly disagreed that they would date, kiss or share utensils with someone living with HIV. Further, the study, with 431 responses, showed that 44.6 per cent disagreed or strongly disagreed that they would be friends with someone who has HIV. “The way to combat that [stigma], I think, is through better sex education,” Hart says. Hart explains that while HIV stigma primarily comes from HIV-negative people, the education must also be for people living with HIV. “You can’t get HIV through sharing a drinking glass. You can’t get HIV if someone serves you a meal,” Hart explains. “You can’t get it from hugging them.” Samantha DeFranco, the coordinator for the Centre for Safer Sex and Sexual Violence Support (C3SVS), constantly works with students whose lack of HIV knowledge “kind of scares” her, she says with a laugh. “Most students know it exists but that’s kind of the baseline,” DeFranco says over Zoom. While some students come looking for help with things such as PrEP and have more knowledge about what they’re looking for, she says many still have inaccurate information about HIV, such as it being a “gay disease.” However, numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that in 2021, in the United States, 22 per cent of new HIV infections were from people who reported heterosexual contact. Simply put, she sees a lack of awareness but also of conversation. “We don’t talk about stigma. We don’t talk about
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that you need to be concerned about and watch for and destigmatize,’” Sorichetti recalls the teacher saying. Sorichetti describes his teacher as “the nicest guy” who would always answer students’ questions. One day, HIV and AIDS were mentioned during a class that focused on sexually transmitted diseases. After the discussion, Sorichetti recalls students looking around the room, wondering if someone had asked him about it. Post-class led to gossip, “Who asked, why did they ask, do they have it?” he says students wondered. Sorichetti says his knowledge of HIV and AIDS is enough to know it can affect anyone, there is no cure and “it’s not a death sentence.” However, he feels that’s pretty much where his knowledge ends. Logan Onate is a second-year child and youth care student who, similar to Sorichetti, got their main bit of sexual education in Grade 9 gym. They explain that the focus was mainly on contraception and they well remember the “wooden penis” that people got to practice putting condoms on. They explain that what they know about HIV comes from the media and their sex and gender identity class at TMU but also their experiences being a Queer person. Their hands jump onto the screen over Zoom, expressively swaying as they describe a recent incident at work. While working a regular shift at a downtown dispensary, a man came in, “rambling outspoken, out-of-pocket” things. Their hands point firmly at the camera on Zoom as they describe how the man looked at them and said, “You have AIDS” before he left. They quickly retract from the camera, eyes wide, as they relive the scenario. They explain that as a Queer person, people still have assumptions about them and they believe there is still a lingering vilification of Queer folks. They finish
what it is like to be living with HIV,” DeFranco says. DeFranco sees that students don’t have proper sexual health education in high school and tend not to have those conversations with parents either. She worries that the average student would not know how to support a friend with an HIV diagnosis and may even say something harmful. C3SVS does offer an HIV workshop one to two times a year. Part of the workshop involves an online survey where students answer questions. DeFranco says almost everyone gets the “What does U = U mean?” question wrong. To create engaging conversations, the workshops often have games, food and word puzzles, in an effort “to make it an experience,” rather than a lecture, she says. “Let’s talk about sex, let’s talk about pleasure, let’s talk about the realities,” DeFranco says. Multiple TMU students express having minimal sexual education in high school. Alex Sorichetti is a fourth-year sport media student who, after Grade 9, “got just about nothing” for sexual health education. While that seems minimal, Sorichetti considers himself lucky to have had a gym teacher who provided two weeks’ worth of “health” education. DeFranco believes that there are a considerable amount of sex education teachers who got their own education decades ago and may even be teaching in a way that further stigmatizes sex by making it seem scary or bad. The Ontario Curriculum for grades 9 to 12 includes brief education on HIV and AIDS prevention and the curriculum for grades 1 to 8 mentions education on sexually transmitted and blood borne infections (STBBIs) but does not specify HIV. His former French gym teacher was direct. “‘I’m just going to tell you blatantly, flat out, some things
recalling the incident with an airy laugh of disbelief. Things began to change once Clarke was on medication and became undetectable for HIV. It allowed him to be comfortable in his skin again. HIV also changed his life by connecting him to ACT. He became aware of ACT when he was diagnosed with HIV and connected with one of their counsellors with whom he is now colleagues. His cheerful demeanour shines through the Zoom screen as he smiles widely, telling his “from rags to riches” story, adding “even though I’m not rich” with a laugh. Clarke understands the difficulties that come with living with HIV but he also understands the importance of being sexually informed. “If you’re curious about your sexual health and you want to be on top of it, go get tested,” Clarke says firmly, nodding his head with each word. Though, Clarke says even getting tested can come with its own set of difficulties. People may question why you think you need an HIV test and assume things about your sexuality or drug use or that you’re a “messy slut.” “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. You can be a messy slut and still protect yourself and protect others,” Clarke says with a smirk. C3SVS offers HIV testing and take-home testing kits. DeFranco explains that staff are trained to help those coming in for tests. She knows people may be scared and staff are equipped to suggest support groups and other resources while being prepared to take on generations of misinformation. Similar to DeFranco, Clarke believes some people continue to associate HIV with being ‘gay only.’ In the early 80s, AIDS was often referred to as Gay-Related Autoimmune Disease (GRID), which, as the SF LGBT Center says, created an enduring association between gay men and AIDS. The SF LGBT Center explains that the term AIDS became used when researchers understood it could impact everyone, not just men who have sex with
other men. Even today, language and word use around HIV continue to be worked on. Part of how ACT works to combat HIV stigma is being deliberate with their use of language as there continues to be negative vocabulary associated with it, Clarke explains. Sorichetti says he’s heard the words “dirty,” “unsafe,” “tainted” and “dumb” associated with HIV. Words shape people’s understanding of the world and can impact how people see those living with HIV, explains The Well Project on their website, a non-profit organization aimed at supporting women living with or vulnerable to HIV.
M
yles Sexton is an HIV advocate based in Toronto with many passions, from blogging to modelling to fashion. Sexton goes after their dreams, moving to Toronto on their 19th birthday from a small town in Nova Scotia, partly chasing their “fashion bug.” However, more than a love of fashion pushed them to move. “I needed to be in a space where I felt like I could fully be myself and be around other people that were like me,” Sexton says over Zoom as sparkling earrings and silver rings shine through the screen as they speak. In 2018 Sexton received a phone call from their doctor telling them they had HIV. Sexton was 26 at the time and they thought they were going to die. Their fear took a while to subside as it took around a month to see a specialist. Sexton explains that the main exposure they had to HIV was from the AIDS epidemic. Images of people in the hospital, open sores and purple bruising were what they say came to mind. Relief came when they spoke to a specialist and understood they could go on medication and become undetectable. However, physically getting better was only one part of their healing journey. “I just didn’t feel like the same person anymore. I felt like I was altered or changed and I had to figure out who I was again,” Sexton says. Sexton says they had to do a lot of emotional labour and educate others when they were telling people about their diagnosis. When telling their family, not many even knew what HIV really was. Sexton explains they felt vulnerable when getting their diagnosis and when looking for comfort from others changed to having to educate them, which prevented a level of safety. “It made me not want to open up to people about it,” Sexton says. Sexton did get to a point where they felt ready to be public about their diagnosis, “reclaiming,” their power after two years of letting stigma and shame “sort of navigate my life.” Despite losing someone close to her to an AIDS-related illness, Ruiz thinks there’s still more to be learned. She doesn’t talk about it with friends or family. She sometimes even questions what her parents think about Queerness. When the person close to them passed, she remembers her parents asking many questions like, “Where did he get it?” and “How did it happen?” Her parents only discussed it with the older people at the time, leaving Ruiz, the youngest, without support. What she does have is the memory of him. “I always felt comfortable being around him,” she says. They were both Queer, and at the time when he was staying with her family, she wasn’t out to her parents but she did have a girlfriend. He got to see that part of her life, she could talk to him about it—and he got to meet her girlfriend. * Due to privacy concerns, this verified source has requested anonymity.
FROM BEDS TO BALLOTS How our bodies are ruled under the law Words by Nalyn Tindall Photo by Jerry Zhang In the intricate dance between politics and personal spaces, our bedrooms become a stage where societal norms, legislative decisions and individual choices intertwine. This forces us to examine our understanding of consent, relationships and sexual health in the most private corners of our lives. Sex and relationships can be overtly political, with a spectrum of laws governing our bodies, sex lives and intimate relationships. From healthcare restrictions to contentious marriage laws in Canada, allowing unions at the age of 16 with parental consent, these laws raise numerous questions about autonomy, informed decision-making and the lasting impact of such policies on the lives of young individuals. What lies beneath many of the policies and societal norms surrounding how we are governed is the education we receive. Decisions such as Doug Ford’s education cuts and the reversal of Ontario’s 2015 sex-ed curriculum—which incorporated discussions on sexual and gender identities—echo far beyond the classroom. In 2015, Ontario’s Ministry of Education implemented a revised sex education curriculum that incorporated discussions on sexual and gender identities, sparking protests from some parents. In 2018, Premier Doug Ford announced a reversal to the previous curriculum, leading to ongoing debates, legal battles and concerns about the impact on students’ access to comprehensive sexual education in the midst of broader political divisions. Sex education stands at the intersection of personal well-being and political decision-making, fostering a healthy understanding of intimate relationships, consent and sexual health. Policies dictating the content and accessibility of sex education programs can either empower individuals with comprehensive information or create barriers that limit access to crucial knowledge. In navigating the complex landscape of sex education, the role of political choices becomes evident, influencing the quality and inclusivity of educational initiatives. Felicia Gisondi, the executive director and founder of Sex and Self says, “There’s a big rhetoric that if you teach sex education, it will encourage promiscuity. All studies that have evaluated comprehensive sex education have shown the opposite. They’ve shown less early engagement in sexual activity and more access to reproductive healthcare.” Sex and Self is a Canada-wide studentrun educational organization that “aims to provide a safe space for individuals who have not previously had the opportunity to reclaim or engage positively with their own sexual narrative.” Gisondi highlights the importance of this mission, saying, “it’s crucial to em-
power students and young people with the knowledge to make well-rounded, educated decisions about their [bodies]. But I also think it’s just as important to remind them of how amazing your body is and how many incredible things it does for you, and that your body is a source of pleasure.” Broader societal attitudes are further moulded by the influential discourse on identity and intimate relationships online. Debates on social media surrounding gender roles, relationship expectations and dating norms play a pivotal role in shaping personal perceptions offline. Mika Soetaert, a third-year fashion student at Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU), says it’s important to be aware of the content you’re consuming on social media. “If I see something that I don’t like, I’m very quick to unfollow someone or just log off the app.” She’s noticed homophobic and transphobic rhetoric surrounding dating on social media, she says, with comments portraying these marginalized groups in a derogatory way. She says social media has the ability to influence our opinions and if someone is easily affected by the content they see, it may influence their dating preferences and perception of others. “I think the number one thing for curating your feed is don’t engage with the content you don’t like. That includes commenting for debate,” Soetaert says. Our intimate relationships may also shape our own political perspectives. The exchange of ideas and values within the close confines of a partnership can lead to a mutual influence on each other’s political beliefs. “You’re more likely to lean a certain way in your political views based on your relationship because of all of the information you’re getting from your partner,” Soetaert says. Conversations around policies, social issues and civic responsibilities become integral components of shared experiences. “You get this biased filter of things because you trust your partner, and that can sway your political views.”
“There is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation” However, the intersection of politics and intimate relationships is not always harmonious. Holding opposing political views with a partner can introduce complexities, especially when these differences surround deeply held moral beliefs. Disagreements over political matters may transcend policy debates and become reflections of core values, creating tension within a relationship. Soetaert says while some political disagreements can be overlooked, “I personally don’t want to have a relationship with somebody who has highly contrasting moral values to mine.” While policy decisions intersect with personal experiences, they also extend far beyond individual relationships, influ-
encing not only how individuals relate but also shaping the safety of marginalized communities. The impact extends beyond personal preferences,
delving into the systemic biases ingrained in policies that may perpetuate stereotypes and discrimination. In 2021, visible minority groups represented 18.2 per cent of all candidates from the six main federal political parties, according to Policy Options, the digital magazine of the Institute for Research on Public Policy. The representation of visible minorities in our political systems affects the biases of the policy being implemented in our nation. The intersections of patriarchy, racism, homophobia and transphobia wield a significant influence over power dynamics within relationships. These discriminatory views, deeply embedded in cultural and political frameworks, create layers of complexity that individuals navigate in their personal lives. Seun Lagoke, a second-year TMU professional communication student says he’s experienced what he describes as a “dating hierarchy.” As a “Queer, Black man” from a “predominantly white, predominantly straight town,” Lagoke says dating in Toronto is much easier than in his hometown but this so-called ‘hierarchy’ is still prevalent. The intricate ways in which political decisions intersect with personal experiences become particularly evident in examining the safety of marginalized communities. Policies that fail to address systemic biases can perpetuate an environment where certain groups face increased vulnerability. “I feel like if you’re in the position I am, you are a bit more cautious,” Lagoke says. Noting that while everyone has to be careful dating—both online and in person—he feels increasingly vulnerable as a marginalized person. Whether it’s legislation impacting 2SLGBTQIA+ rights, racial justice or gender equity, the consequences of political choices reverberate through our intimate relationships.Recognizing this intersectionality is crucial to understanding the broader implications of political decisions on the lived experiences of individuals within marginalized communities, emphasizing the need for inclusive and equitable
policymaking to foster a safer and more just society. Action Canada for Sex- ual Health and Rights advocates for “access to safe abortion, comprehensive sexuality education, gender equality, and the rights of LGBTQ persons and sex workers.” Similar organizations such as Reproductive Equity Now call for equitable access to reproductive health care for all, explaining that “barriers to reproductive healthcare disproportionately impact low-income people and people of colour.” Access to contraceptive care is just one example of how critical healthcare needs and reproductive autonomy can be shaped by policy. Political decisions regarding funding, availability and inclusivity of services can either empower individuals to make informed choices about their reproductive health or create obstacles that hinder access. The impact of these decisions is felt by individuals across diverse backgrounds, particularly those facing systemic barriers to healthcare. “The people who really start evaluating policies and access to care are usually people in crisis, which is very unfortunate,” Gisondi says. Political decisions play a central role in shaping the policies and frameworks that either promote or impede reproductive health equity. Policies that prioritize inclusivity, affordability and dismantling systemic biases contribute to a landscape where everyone can access the care they need. The far-reaching implications of political choices on the lived experiences of individuals within marginalized communities emphasize the urgency of intersectionality in policymaking. While there is no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation, the government still holds power over personal autonomy. Whether it’s dismantling systemic biases or ensuring equitable access to reproductive healthcare, the conclusion is clear: political decisions shape the fabric of our personal lives, influencing not just relationships but the very fabric of societal wellbeing.
SEX,
DRUGS & THE
LAW
The blurry lines of mixing
party and play By Lillie Coussée
It’s Friday night around 10 p.m. You’re in your washroom with your two roommates getting ready for a night out on King Street. Music is blaring through your phone and the ‘two-six’ of Smirnoff Vodka makes its way from the top of the fridge into the three red solo cups on the counter. Cheap vodka always produces an entertaining night. Feeling buzzed, you hop on the streetcar prepared to take on the city. Upon arriving at the first location, you immediately lock eyes with a total babe across the bar. You’re nervous to talk to them, so you order a shot to calm the nerves and wash it down with another for good luck. Words are never spoken but looks are exchanged and you’re getting the vibe they’re into you. They’re getting closer and you can feel your heart beating faster. What’s another shot for good measure? You exchange names and programs, then make small talk for what feels like two whole minutes. The next thing you know, you’re following them into the back corner of the bar. They start touching and kissing you, and you’re into it. Surely, this was all consensual, right? Consent and alcohol may not go hand-in-hand in some people’s minds. The reality is many students engage in some kind of sexual activity while under the influence, says Samantha DeFranco the support coordinator at the Centre of Safer Sex and Sexual Violence at Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU). She says consent is either verbally exchanged or given by watching for body language and using fair judgment. “It doesn’t have to be this kind of verbal, ‘Yes, I consent,’ like a robot, but we’re paying attention to what people maybe aren’t saying,” DeFranco says. Visual cues such as moving hands away, shutting down conversation and leaning away from a potential partner are a good indication that that person may not want to engage in any sexual activity, and these apply while intoxicated and sober, she further explains. Razan Aziza, a first-year philosophy student at TMU, says while sex can be a big deal to individuals, it can also be a fun way to explore and express yourself. “Sex is a part of you and you’re giving that part of you to somebody else…[and] letting them see a very vulnerable side of you,” she says. With various substances in the mix on a night out, it can be tricky to determine if your partner feels safe. Aziza says being open and constantly communicating is key to ensuring everyone enjoys themselves. “Dialogue is so, so important to [instill] consent,” she says. Aziza has many experiences learning about consent— some good, some uncomfortable. She says people have overstepped her boundaries before, especially while under the influence of some kind of substance. Having conversations with her partners before engaging in any sexual activity is what makes her feel most comfortable—both while intoxicated or sober. She says as long as everyone involved feels comfortable and respected, having sex under the influence can be enjoyable and should be okay to experiment with. According to TMU’s sexual violence policy, “Consent must be affirmative, ongoing, informed, respectful and engaged.”
It also states that “consent cannot be given by a person who is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs.” There is no legal standard for what it means to be intoxicated creating a “grey area,” for people to determine whether someone is capable of consenting or not, DeFranco says. “Generally, if you’re too drunk to drive, you’re too drunk to consent,” she says. However, this is not the law in Canada. The Criminal Code of Canada—Section 273.1—states “consent means... the voluntary agreement of the complainant to engage in the sexual activity in question.” The Supreme Court of Canada (SCC) said in R. v. G.F. that a person’s capacity is a precondition to consent. A court judge may ask a complainant if they consented to a sexual act first, then ask if their level of intoxication invalidated their response. The SCC stated that a person must understand the following to be capable of consent: “As capacity is a precondition to subjective consent, the requirements for capacity are tied to the requirements for subjective consent itself.” A Toronto-based criminal defence lawyer* says every case is different and ultimately it’s up to the courts to decide whether a person is incapable of consenting. They say ‘under the influence’ is a meaningless definition, and rather, it’s a question of capacity. The capacity to consent is determined by case law, they say. Max Rose, a first-year history student, makes an effort not to get drunk or high enough to engage in an activity he would not remember. He says if someone is tipsy and aware of what they’re doing, then the lines become blurry. Generally, he tries to steer clear of any ‘potential mistakes.’ “People know that [sexual assault] happens, so I would expect our generation to try to be more aware of this stuff,” he says. However, the ethics and laws behind sex under the influence are subjective and are different for everyone. Dina Haddish, a members’ coordinator at the Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres, says not a lot of youth experience sex-positive education. She says the ability to have the capacity to consent relies on individuals having the behavioural skills to navigate a sexual relationship. “The biggest piece especially [for] undergraduate students is affirmative sexual education that includes what
consent [is], but then also what healthy sexual exploration [is],” she says. Haddish says students may feel more open to exploring their sexual desires while intoxicated because they are not given a culture of enthusiastic sexual education that focuses on desires and pleasure. “Facilitating spaces that feel judgment-free and open spaces for students to discuss topics like sex and consent and the way that alcohol interacts with that is really, really important,” Haddish explains. She also says this is not an individual issue but rather a systemic issue and it takes more than one person to combat unwanted and unsafe sex. The responsibility falls to create a safe space for sexual exploration, the safe use of substances and to end sexual violence. Hamza Herzalla, a third-year marketing management student at TMU had to intervene in situations that did not seem okay in places where substances were in the mix. As a Muslim, Herzalla does not use any substances, but consent is still a topic of mind and Herzalla understands when a situation is going down the wrong path. “Sometimes, [bystanders] need to take it into their own hands to step in and say, ‘Hey, this doesn’t look right.’” Herzalla understands that people may enjoy having sex under the influence, as long as everyone involved can express their boundaries and communicate with each other. “Whatever situation it may be…[we] always have to look at the bigger scope of things and understand that we’re all human and we shouldn’t take advantage of each other,” Herzalla says. Sex under the influence is not a new concept, nor is consent. It’s important to allow individuals to make informed decisions about their sex life while exploring their sexuality. Alcohol and drugs can help people break barriers for themselves, but they can also lead to an unforgiving night. After learning from experience, Aziza says constant communication with your partner(s) leads to good experiences. If you or your partner are unable to communicate coherently, sex should be off the table. “Allowing new generations to explore sex in a way that helps them grow as people and not feel shamed or scared [is important]...just don’t do anything that makes somebody else feel uncomfortable.”
“IF YOU’RE TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE, YOU’RE TOO DRUNK TO CONSENT”
*Due to the sensitivity of the matter and the ever-changing discussion surrounding consent, this lawyer has asked to remain anonymous to protect their reputation. The Eyeopener has verified this source.
KINZA ZAFAR/THE EYEOPENER
H O L LY W O O D L O V E S T O H A T E
GAY SEX Words by Jay Ashdown
Representation is celebrated,
b u t q u a l i t y i s n’ t
Visuals by Brithi Sehra & Kinza Zafar
This article contains spoilers for Saltburn and Passages. intricately-framed delicate caresses. Queers were, and are, the ones breaking the boundarAwards season, the bleakest point of winter, is my time ies of sexual taboos: the standards that kept us in the to look back on last year’s film successes. For queers, closet for centuries. So when liberation has taken us so there’s a lot to celebrate. Bottoms was the high-school far as to allow R-rated sexuality in mainstream cinemas, comedy dirtbag lesbians have been waiting for. Colman why can’t our sex be good? Domingo just scored a Best Actor Oscar nomination for In 2023’s All of Us Strangers, two loners (Paul Mescal and his role as Rustin’s titular unsung gay civil rights activist. Andrew Scott) meet in their bleak London condo hallway. Other gems, like Of an Age and Blue Jean masterfully ex- They make love and open up to each other—mending while amined the joys and fears of queer life, despite flying un- reflecting on their self-induced isolation and childhood der the radar of most filmgoers. What didn’t go unnoticed was Saltburn, Emerald Fennell’s feature-length Jacob Elordi fancam. In this pulp flick, Oliver (Barry Keoghan) plays a newcomer to Oxford University who spends SEXUAL TABOOS” the summer at hot, buff, old-money student Felix (Elordi)’s country home. The tale follows Oliver falling in love with his host, immediately plotting various sabotages to earn his full attention, then killing everyone at the estate in increasingly villainous fashion. Saltburn is splattered with bathtub cumperiod blood-insult-filled moments ripped out of a 10-act Twilight polycule fanfic, but what left the worst taste in my mouth was its bland homophobia. The cliches of ‘50s-era Lavender Scare propaganda are palpable, pairing themselves well with the film’s sympathies for Felix’s ever-welcoming straightness. Notably, Evil Twink Keoghan is accompanied with dark spotlighting and dreary scoring every time he engages in some outrageous sex act. It highlights the intended audience—straight people—when comedically weird fucking abruptly shifts the tone from class chuckler to downright horror. Right now, the 2SLGBTQIA+ community is more visible than we’ve ever been in mainstream media. But it doesn’t really feel like it when the stories that are most celebrated are the ones controlled by—or palpable to— straight people. When gay sex isn’t primed for disgust or the heterosexual gaze, it’s toned down, cut out, or, in the case of sapphic period pieces, expressed solely through
emotional scars. Here, sex is transformative, breathing life into the protagonist’s lonely shell, and leaving its audience members in awe (including the homophobic teens sitting behind me, who immediately stopped chattering when Paul Mescal looked up in that scene). Despite Strangers’ buzz among independent and critics’ review boards, however, it was shoved to the corner of the Golden Globes and gained no Oscar recognition. Last year’s Passages also uses its sexuality as a form of dialogue—one manipulated by its main character. Here, stylish filmmaker Tomas (Franz Rogowski) indulges in an affair with a woman, throwing a thrilling wrench in his docile gay marriage. Tomas brings nuanced passion into his sexual escapades, from joy in self-discovery to desperation over his impending breakup. Between his need for stability and longing for freedom, it’s a Baroque portrait of this anti-hero’s clashing desires, with a domestic sophistication I haven’t yet seen in queer film. For those outside Film Twitter or without a MUBI subscription, this gem was likely missed. Despite industry bigwigs still patting themselves on the back for Moonlight’s 2017 Best Picture win at the Oscars, inventive depictions of queer sexuality have once again faded into the backdrop of awards season. Bohemian Rhapsody was a voter favourite two years later for its scandalizing tabloid gaze, Party City leather gear included, over Freddie Mercury’s sex life. Call Me By Your Name carried the double-whammy of an eyebrow-raising age gap and a tragic ending—notable traits of most other popular big-actor gay dramas. When witnessing the innovation of each year’s queer-helmed romances and sexcapades, it’s difficult to grasp that the buzziest 2SLGBTQIA+ films could stand to be so, at best, hateful, and at worst, boring. If I’m spending an hour’s minimum wage at Cineplex to see something that’s supposed to “represent” me, I’d better see some good sex along with all the basic, allocated sadgrief-gross-self-hate-making. I want it all. And I don’t think that’s a lot to ask for.
“QUEERS WERE, AND ARE,THE ONES BREAKING THE BOUNDARIES OF
Illustration: Denise Xiao
TOP 10 TMU SPOTS HOOK-UP UP
By Daniella Lopez
It’s another sleepless night for you at Toronto Metropolitan University’s (TMU) Pitman Hall. You’re tossing and turning with earplugs stuffed in your ears and your head sandwiched between two pillows—why would anyone be doing this? Well, for the fifth night in a row, you can hear your upstairs neighbour having sex. It’s loud, too loud, and it’s disrupting your sleep schedule. You, being the genius you are, get out of bed and start making a list of the best places to actually hook-up on campus. You will slide the list under their door, and hopefully, they’ll get the hint. 1. Rogers Communications Centre (RCC) basement Did you know the RCC has a basement? Neither do most people, which makes it the ideal spot for a quickie before or after class. Live out your wildest fantasies by fornicating right up against the red-hot lockers. There’s even an oddly placed couch, perfect for activities. And, if you’re looking for some props to set the mood, no one’s gonna know if you snoop through some lockers.
dent Learning Centre (SLC) study room Here’s one for you exhibitionist folks out there. Imagine this: after a long, hard day of classes and studying, you need some sort of release, so you head over to the heart of TMU—the SLC. While the SLC may be known as the most lively place on campus, once dusk hits, it becomes far less busy. If you can find an empty study room, get down. Just remember, those walls are translucent. 3. Imagine Cinemas: Carlton Cinema If you’re trying to double the amount of exercise you get in preparation for your next hook-up session, try banging in the Carlton Cinema. About a 10-minute walk from the hub of campus, this old-school movie theatre can have you reliving the good old days—a.k.a. your first-ever makeout sesh. Just present your OneCard, find the first available theatre and create your own version of 50 Shades of Grey.
4. The Theatre at The Creative School For the more sophisticated folks who want to snog 2. Sheldon & Tracy Levy Stu- d u r i n g
school hours, I’d like to present you with a Broadway-style theatre that would make the perfect spot for a risky railing. Okay, so it may not be as luxurious as the ones in New York— or even come close to the ones on King Street—but TMU does have its own musical theatre. Located at 43 Gerrard St. East, the acoustics there will surely amplify your vocals and any other sounds that might be heard. You’re not at the School of Performance for nothing. 5. An office in Jorgenson Hall Here’s another fantasy-fulfilling spot for you freaks. Have you ever felt like doing the deed in an office after a long and tiring day? Well, here’s your opportunity. Find the first available office with a locked door or the office of that professor who failed you and get at it. A little revenge never hurt anybody. Bonus points if you fuck on top of somebody’s papers.
my Athletic Centre (MAC) Here’s an oddly specific spot for those who often find themselves at the MAC, I’m looking at you gym rats, athletes and reporters. Near the elevators on every floor is the MAC’s fire exit staircase. Opening the doors won’t set off an alarm, but it will lock you in and force you to exit from outside. Since virtually no one uses this empty space, it’s the perfect place to try those standing positions you’ve been wanting to test out. 7. The computer labs on the third floor of the Heidelberg Centre This spot on campus is more commonly known as the School of Graphic Communications Management, and if you don’t know where it’s located, I’m going to gatekeep it. This is the definition of a “if you know, you know” kind of spot. Besides the fact that it’s usually very clean and quiet, it’s also isolated, meaning you can test how long you can really last. Just remember you’re fucking with thousands of dollars of computers, so be careful.
6. The fire exit stair- 8. The Precise ParkLink, in your case at the backseat M a t t a - This is a shout-out to the students who have the luxury—and the money—to drive to and from campus and park inside
Victoria Street’s parking garage. Maybe you want a ride on the wild side before or after class, and car sex might just do the trick. However, make sure to bring some extra deodorant because it’ll likely get super steamy. 9. The Met Campus Pub bathrooms If you ever find yourself at the finest establishment on campus, a.k.a. The Met Campus Pub, and your classroom crush is looking extra fine in the bar lighting, why wait to bring them home? Instead, follow through with your New Year’s resolution of living in the moment and find the single-stall bathrooms to tap that ass. The nastiness waits for no one. 10. The pool at the Recreation and Athletics Centre (RAC) Did you know TMU has a pool located at the RAC? Well, if you didn’t before, you do now. While this might be the most challenging place to do the dirty, since pool water is clear and a floating swimsuit bottom may look suspicious, you never know until you try. But on the bright side, the water is chlorinated, so any juices that suddenly appear will get disinfected. That’s totally how it works, right?
FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE The world of sizzling lit helps readers embrace their deep desires
By Hania Noor Imagination offers us a plethora of worlds to explore and mould ourselves into. Although we are accustomed to believe fiction is detached from reality, conceptualizing fantastical spaces can free young people from unnecessary judgment and expectations. Growing up in a household with a catalogue of handme-down books, I naturally gravitated towards exploring the limits of my imagination. What started with the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series led to me inspecting my elementary school’s library. After rummaging through those exquisitely laminated covers and perfectly labelled shelves, my 10-year-old self found solace in the tales of fictitious young girls and their ramblings of first kisses and crushes— nothing short of scandalous for tiny me.
See, I never really got the whole ‘birds and the bees’ talk. I guarantee that my Pakistani mother would have burst into flames if she tried to explain the idea of pleasure or anything containing the word “sex” to me. My father would willingly choose implosion instead. Most of my understanding of sexuality came through films, music, books and wildly concerning YouTube videos. That was, until one notoriously uncomfortable Grade 6 health lecture, where my teacher accepted audience questions (bless her), resulting in a 20-minute deep dive into porn. So later, when the time came, I turned to that medium. At first I was somewhat disgusted, but naturally, puberty kicked in and I adapted to the discomfort. However, even then, I was thrown off by the performance of it all. How had these two people met? Who were they? These questions continued until the whole thing com-
pletely threw me off. I was searching for the story, plot and connection because the excitement of narrative had always piqued my interest. So, I turned to what felt safe: books. When I first sought pleasure through reading, it was like, “Okay, I think I finally get the hype!” I found stories such as Priceless and Twisted—ones usually written by women—to be steamy, angsty and dripping in actual desire. It wasn’t just their descriptions of “the act” that I found attractive but rather the slow burn of getting there. Most importantly, the story was just as much mine as it was the author’s, regardless of whether I found it in a bookstore, Tumblr or on fanfiction websites like Archive of Our Own. I could visualize the scene and mend it according to what I needed. There, I found more than just pleasure—I found a chance to explore my curiosities and seek experiences that felt out of reach.
As I further read about pleasure, I began to understand its complexities. From consent to orgasm to personal interests and safe practices, it felt like I was learning new things as much as I was enjoying them. Books have always been a place of comfort for me—a place of escapism yet simultaneously a confrontation with my inner desires. Imagination and fiction granted me empowerment through characters with control, choice and freedom. I found power in embracing my desires, and I urge you to ignore what may be considered taboo and to explore what pleasure means to you. It has always been yours to define and yours to own. The Eyeopener has compiled some hot reads that shaped students’ understanding of love and sex. You may just find a read that does it for you. Take a look, and happy reading! For the full list of books, read online at theeyeopener.com