Courier 1345

www.thecourieronline.co.uk

Monday 20 February 2017 Issue 1345 Free

Stan Calvert 2017: The Courier’s exclusive preview, p. 34

The Independent Voice of Newcastle Students

YOU’VE GOT A TREND IN ME

Find out about this season’s latest fashion necessity - the kitten heel, p. 16

Est 1948

TOP 5 GAMING CHANNELS

Look no further, it’s a blog about a writer’s favourite gaming vlogs, p. 29

LGBT+ awareness week colours campus LGBT+ awarenesss week celebrates diversity and equality

By Kotryna Kairyte News Editor LGBT+ awareness week took the University campus by storm last week bringing in various events to raise awareness about the issues that the LGBT+ community face on daily basis.

Organised by Courtney Levin, LGBT+ officer, and Newcastle University’s LGBT+ society members the week invited students to take part in various workshops, talks and film screenings in order to celebrate the equality and diversity amongst the students.

Courtney Levin told the Courier: “As always this year we hired a large tent to host a variety of stalls on many LGBT+ issues, including bisexuality awareness, gender identity, and a memorial stall remembering those we have lost this year. New this year in the tent however was our LGBT+ history stall, which contained excerpts from the Courier archive about the LGBT+ society and about the history of LGBT+ support on campus.”

Kicking off with a Mental Health Talk, organised together with Mind the Gap society, the organisers welcomed students interested in the state of mental health in the LGBT+ community. The event allowed interested students to listen to Society’s members testimonials about the challenges they faced dealing with their mental health and being a part of the LGBT+, and to discuss what changes could be made in order to improve the current situation.

“LGBT+ mental health issues are so rarely addressed, so it was great to see such high levels of engagement from the student body,” said Courtney adding that the event had the best turn out of all.

The week also offered students a LGBT+ Sex ed talk where they could gain important information about safe sex practices that they may not have heard about in school, but also pick up plenty of freebies for protection.

Those interested in the history were welcomed to attend a public lecture de-

Events on mental health, liberation history and sex education

livered by Peter Tatchell, British human rights campaigner, on the LGBT liberation (Read more about Peter Tatchell on page 6).

Members of the LGBT+ society also invited students to get to know different sexualities and identities by organising talks on bisexuality, asexuality and QTIPOC (queer, trans* and intersex people of colour) panel about whitewashing of the LGBT+ history.

Finally, students were able to ask all remaining questions of the two panellists, LGBT+ officer and the President of the LGBT+ society, at the final day time event – Queer Question Time.

The week also invited students to two screenings of films about the LGBT+ community. The screenings attracted a large numbers of viewers who were happy to take advantage of both the company of others and the free food and drinks provided.

Courtney was very happy with the support received from the Union: “They also edited our promotional video for the week, which can be viewed on the union Facebook page.

As a part of the LGBT+ awareness week, Newcastle University Fashion Society organised a photoshoot featuring the members of LGBT+ society and Courtney Levin, LGBT+ officer.

Overall, Courtney and the LGBT+ society were very happy with the week.

She told the Courier: “I hope that many people on campus have engaged with the week, whether via the tent or marketing and more people have been made aware of the LGBT+ society, and what we do. I also hope that the week has given a chance for groups who are marginalised within the LGBT+ community to educate on key issues.

“In March I will also be convening the LGBT+ forum with the society, so I can feedback about the work done in the Union this term for LGBT+ students, and students can tell me what campaigns they would like to see in the future.”

Organised by LGBT+ Officer, Courtney Levin

“I hope that many people on campus have engaged with the week, whether via the tent or marketing and more people have been made aware of what the LGBT+ society does”

Photoshoot dedicated to LGBT+ week Image: Newcastle University Fashion Society

News

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Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Deputy Editors Ollie Burton & Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson, Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall Kotryna Kairytė & Helena Vesty

NEWS

4 7

February Student Council Rochester Roundhouse project

COMMENT

11

Corbyn’s Labour party problems

CULTURE

13 14 19 23 27 30

Blind Date:

Henry and Harry Gym life lifestyle lowdown

‘A hostile environment for free speech’? Newcastle University’s Student’s Union Image: Geograph, Andrew Curtis

Union and University ranked red for Free Speech

By Ava Forbes

Top beauty Hacks Album Review: Process by Sampha

Film review: Fifty Shades Darker Gaming review: Hidden Folks

Newcastle University Students’ Union has received a red rating from the Free Speech University Ranking (FSUR) for the second year in a row.

Newcastle University also has moved significantly down, from an amber in 2016 to red this year. According to the FSUR survey both the University and the Students’ Union “create a hostile environment for free speech”.

The University was also named as one of the top five most “ban happy” universities in the UK along with Oxford, Swansea, Cardiff and Edinburgh whilst the most “free” universities were Buckingham, Trinity Saint David and West of Scotland.

The project, issued by Spiked magazine, found that 63.5% of the university student unions nationally have been seen as “hostile to free speech and free expression, mandating explicit restrictions on speech, including, but not limited to, bans on specific ideologies, political affiliations, beliefs, books, speakers or words”.

According to the survey, censorship has increased by as much as 8.5% since

NUSU, King’s Walk, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 8QB. Tel: 0191 239 3940

The Courier is a weekly newspaper produced by students, for students. It’s never too late to get involved in the paper, whether you’re a writer, illustrator or photographer. Just visit thecourieronline.co.uk/getinvolved for more information.

2016.

Within the North East, Durham University also received a red rating whilst Northumbria and Sunderland Universities were ranked as amber.

Jack Taylor, president of the Students’ Union, told The Courier: “Both the University and the Students’ Union pride ourselves in providing an inclusive and safe environment for all of our 24,000 students.

“The University has been given a red ranking based largely on the fact that we have a zero tolerance policy to sexual harassment, we ban initiation ceremonies and our promotional guidance policy bans smoking advertising, commercial pub crawls and the promotion of payday loans to our students.”

The Free Speech University Ranking also flagged the University’s Transgender Policy which bans “transphobic propaganda” on campus as a reason for

its poor score.

Courtney Levin, LGBT+ Officer of the Student Union, said in response: “Transgender students face enough difficulties at university without having to deal with transphobic materials from others. By putting out media that targets and demeans trans people, it would cause trans students to feel not welcome on campus, and thus severely harm their education.

This policy ensures that all students know they are welcome at Newcastle, and prevents others from intentionally (or unintentionally) ruining their university experience.”

After to the survey was released, Newcastle Free Education Network told the Courier “We are currently concerned with more pressing issues, such as how universities across the country, through policies like Prevent and electronic

“The University has been given a red ranking based largely on the fact that we have a zero tolerance policy to sexual harassment”

Editor Jade Holroyd Deputy Editors Ollie Burton and Daniel Robertson News Editors Liam Carson Valentina Egorova, Louise Hall, Kotryna Kairytė and Helena Vesty Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad Corkett-Beirne and Sunil Nambiar Culture Editors Jack Oliver Parker and James McCoull Lifestyle Editors Ana Beretsos, Antonia Coleman-Harvey, Ruth Loeffler and Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward Fashion Editors Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins and Zofia Zwieglinska Beauty Editors Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trent and Ellen Walker Arts Editors Johnathan Hastings, Meg Holtom and Tamsin Rees Music Editors Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj and Ben Grundy Film Editors Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden and Simon Ramshaw TV Editors Luke Acton, Dominic Corrigan and Alison Scurfield Gaming Editors Errol Kerr, Jared Moore and Jordan Oloman Science Editors Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer and Ciara RitsonCourtney Sports Editors Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin and James Sproston

surveillance, victimise students (particularly international students). How, without any real consultation, universities agree to government reforms like TEF, aimed at increasing student fees.”

They think that “the voice of students only seems to matter when it is in agreement with the economic interests of university management, and this actively undermines our free expression.”

Prevent is the government’s counterradicalism policy placing responsibility on all UK universities to stop students being drawn into terrorism under the Counter Terrorism and Security Act 2015.

Interestingly under the reasons for the Student Union receiving red ranking were also such campaigns as the initiative to introduce compulsory consent classes.

The Courier student newspaper believes that Newcastle University and the Student Union seek to provide a safe and equal environment for students to express their opinion through independent student media and Student Council and others.

If you have any concerns about the freedom of speech, please contact the News team at ncourier@newcastle. ac.uk

The Courier is printed by: Print and Digital Associates, Fernleigh House, 10 Uttoxeter Road, Derby, Derbyshire, United Kingdom, DE3 0DA. Established in 1948, The Courier is the fully independent student newspaper of the Students’ Union at Newcastle University. The Courier is published weekly during term time, and is free of charge.

The design, text, photographs and graphics are copyright of The Courier and its individual contributors. No parts of this newspaper may be reproduced without the prior permission of the Editor. Any views expressed in this newspaper’s opinion pieces are those of the individual writing, and not of The Courier, the Students’ Union or Newcastle University.

The Courier

news .3

Monday 20 February 2017

NUSU opens nominations for celebrating success

By Toby Bryant The world’s focus may have been turned towards last week’s BAFTAs and Grammy Awards but both ceremonies are set to be eclipsed as Newcastle University opens voting for The 2017 Celebrating Success Awards.

Students can nominate any other student or recent graduate, including themselves, in recognition of extra-curricular activities both on and off campus. NUSU President, Jack Taylor, emphasises that “there is definitely no one type of person that can win an award”. He continued, “anyone who can demonstrate the impact they’ve had is definitely in with a chance”.

The results of voting will be made public in May ahead of the awards ceremony on Thursday 8th June 2017 at the Civic Centre.

The awards are split into six principal categories with a number of sub-categories in each. Taylor accounted for this by speaking of “the breadth of work our students do”, citing the range of categories as a way of ensuring the awards are “as inclusive as possible”.

There are individual awards such as ‘Administrator of the Year’ and ‘Sports Writer of the Year’ whilst clubs can also be nominated for ‘Most Improved Club of the Year’ or ‘Team of the Year’, amongst others. Meanwhile, sporting achievements are celebrated at the ‘Athletic Union Awards’, and it’s not just

the sportsmen and women who can be awarded. Coaches too have their own prize, with the ‘Coach of the Year’ title.

For those who have played an active role in society, there are the ‘Community Impact Awards’, which encompass a wide range of achievements. In particular, the ‘Youth Volunteering Award’ and ‘Community Outreach Award’ are for students who make a difference in the local community. The ‘Students for Students Award’ and ‘Student Leadership Award’ are examples of two awards that focus more on campus life.

Societies are of a greatly important aspect of life at Newcastle University, hence, there are the ‘Society Awards’ too. These include ‘Best Society Event’ and ‘Best Inter-Society Collaboration’, as well as ‘Individual Award for Outstanding Contribution to Societies’ for outstanding leaders.

The ‘Media Awards’ celebrate contribution to The Courier, The Courier TV and Newcastle Student Radio. Sections of the paper can be nominated for ‘The Courier Section of the Year’, your favourite TCTV show could win ‘TCTV Show of the Year’ whilst, if you fell in love with a new radio show, the host could win ‘NSR Newcomer of the Year’.

The final categories are ‘Student Rep Awards’ and ‘Rise Up Awards’. The former acknowledges the hard work of a wide-range of Student Reps, the latter focuses on those who have engaged with the world of business and enterprise.

A full list of awards as well as the voting form can be accessed online on the NUSU website.

“Anyone who can demonstrate the impact they’ve had is definitely in with a chance”

Celebrating Success Awards 2016 Image: Kevin Wong

New mental health officer role rejected

By Valentina Egorova News Editor

The Students’ Union Council has voted not to create a new “Students with Mental Health Difficulties” part-time officer position on the grounds that it could undermine the current system.

The motion proposed by Andrew Lister called for a better “representation of those with mental health difficulties at an institutional level” through creating a new position.

It maintained that Newcastle University Students’ Union (NUSU) “could do more to ensure that they are promoting and supporting good mental health”.

But the motion was defeated by the council, with 57% voting against it and only 33% in favour.

Jack Taylor, president of the NUSU, speaking against the motion at the council, said: “It’s a welfare issue, and the remit of a Welfare officer is to represent these issues to the university.

“I am very cautious this will be stepping on the Welfare and Equalities Officer’s remit.”

He added: “Whilst the importance of tackling mental health issues is absolutely paramount, the current representation structures ensure the Welfare and Equality Officer is there to represent

students’ welfare issues, including students with mental health difficulties.

“I don’t feel the introduction of a specific part-time officer for students with mental health difficulties would achieve the aims set out in the job description as it would divide a responsibility and arguably reduce accountability of the Welfare and Equality Officer.”

During his speech, Taylor reportedly stressed that he was not trying to undermine the “mental health importance” and pointed to various mental health related campaigns run by the Students’ Union.

He noted: “It’s without a doubt on our remit.”

The motion comes at a time when 27% of students suffer from mental health problems, YouGov’s research revealed.

According to YouGov, depression and anxiety are “commonplace” among students - 77% and 74% correspondingly reported to suffer from it.

Lister pointed to the statistics, claiming that it amounted to almost 5,5000 students from Newcastle University.

At first the motion was seconded by Rachael Kitching, Welfare and Equality Officer, and Errol Kerr and Daniel Wood, Students with Disabilities Officers, who all later removed their seconding.

Kerr explained what drove them to change his mind: “Initially, not only had I seconded this motion, but had also as-

“There are different ways we can approach it and there are different things we can change”

The Students Union Council’s meeting in progress Image: Valentina Egorova

sisted in its writing, but after discussing it in length with Daniel Wood as well as the other part-time and sabbatical officers, we found ourselves very conflicted.

“The requirement for support is desperately needed, however it was felt that the job described was either already covered through the Welfare and Equality Officer position or other parttime officers, or that it was too in-depth to be suitable for an individual who would still be studying alongside the work.”

A list of prerequisites for a part-time job included: convening a Mental Health Forum at least once per term;

being a member of the University’s Diversity Consultative Group and of Mind the Gap society; liaising with the Student Wellbeing service; being in a regular contact with the Administration Office; and attending all relevant events and meetings.

Speaking after the council, Lister told The Courier that this motion was only a stepping stone toward his objective and he was not going to give up.

He said: “This does not change anything in the way that I am working towards things and what I am trying to do.

“It’s been shown by the popular vote

that this is not the way people want to go about it.

“There are different ways we can approach it and there are different things that we can change.”

He said he considered redrafting the motion or collaborating with Welfare and Inequality Officer to find a new solution.

“What matters from this point forwards is that six thousand people with mental health problems at Newcastle University are supported, and they get the help that they need and are represented.”

4. news

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Student council returns after winter hiatus

By Sam Cooke Chair of Student Council

Last Thursday, I once again had the pleasure of chairing the Students’ Union Council for the first time since December. You may remember from my last write-up that the last council of Semester 1 ended on a high – all motions passed and we followed the meeting with a lovely little party in Mens Bar. For that reason, I had high hopes for the first council of the new year and certainly was not disappointed.

This council saw the largest number of motions this academic year – we had a whopping twelve to get through, ranging from topics such as NUSU’s position on the TEF to the Freedom City celebrations. This was also the first time I could enjoy some of the proceedings from the audience, as the Students’ Union AGM took place at the beginning of last week’s council. Leaving my gavel in the capable hands of President Jack Taylor, I was able to enjoy my free Domino’s in a much less rushed manner than usual!

The AGM ran smoothly, and we approved the Sabbatical Officers’ appointment as Trustees, reviewed NUSU’s annual accounts as well as receiving the 2015/16 NUSU Impact Report.

After the AGM, I took my chair once more to kick off proceedings. We had a couple of business motions to get through at the beginning, correcting an error in the Community Executive Committee and approving NUSU’s affiliated organisations, which passed with ease.

Our first debate came from Andrew Lister, President of Mind the Gap, who

proposed a motion to introduce a Part Time Officer to represent students with mental health difficulties. He made an impassioned proposition, citing his own experiences noting that the current support for students with mental health difficulties simply was not adequate.

The main voice against this motion was Jack Taylor’s, who made it clear that he supported the need for increased support but stressed that creating a new PTO was not the best way forward. As this was a constitutional motion, it needed support from two thirds of the voting body – whilst it did achieve a vote of more than 50% in favour, the motion ultimately did not pass as it did not reach this 67% threshold.

Next up was Education Officer Chris Duddy, amending NUSU’s current regulations on referenda. His motion would introduce a quorum of 5% in order to make a referendum result binding, although he noted that the Trustee Board would be able to use its discretion for referenda with strong majorities that did not reach this benchmark. Additionally, referenda of “materially similar” subject matters would be limited to once per academic year. Secretary of the Labour Society, Benj Eckford, spoke resolutely against the motion, stating that a quorum of 5% simply was not high enough to aim for. Despite this, the motion still received a two-thirds majority and was the first constitutional motion to pass that evening.

A third and final constitutional mo-

tion followed, to change the name of TCTV to NUTV, in line with NSR (Newcastle Student Radio). Proposer Haaris Qureshi wanted to make sure that NUTV was distinct from the TV section of the Courier (known as ‘The Courier TV’) and hoped that the rebrand would bring more viewers. Incidentally, this council was also the first time that we were livestreamed, also by

position on the TEF – NUSU would stand against the rise in fees but did not support a boycott of the NSS, the main action proposed by the NUS. This motion also received a majority vote in favour, with Chris making it clear that individuals could boycott the NSS if they wished.

Council first-timer Summer Oxlade, President of Newcastle Student Action for Refugees (STAR) was up next, and she proposed a motion in support of at least two scholarships for asylum seekers. This motion received resounding support, despite suggestions that money could be better spent elsewhere, and was the next to pass.

David Göz, School Representative for Architecture, Planning and Landscape, next delivered his motion to suggest that information regarding the usage of printer credits should be made available to all, and that Schools should raise the base level of free print credit if their students were consistently having to purchase more. It was made clear in the debate that free print credits shouldn’t increase too much for sustainability reasons, though David suggested that the information could be used to set targets to reduce printing in each School. This seemed to satisfy most people and this motion passed too.

The next motion was delayed slightly by an administrative error, so we skipped forward to Ethics & Environ-

“This Council saw the largest number of motions this academic year - we had a whopping twelve to get through, ranging from topics such as NUSU’s position on the TEF to Freedom City celebrations” NUTV. The motion had plenty of support and passed easily.

Following this came a host of ordinary motions, which only require a simple majority of 50% to pass. The first of these was proposed by Holly Waddell, Student Parents, Guardians and Carers Officer, to improve the support that student carers would receive from the University. With a huge majority in favour of 94%, Holly’s motion passed much to the delight of her fellow PTOs. Chris Duddy took to the lectern once more to propose a motion clarifying NUSU’s

ment Rep Rebecca D’Andrea’s motion requesting that NUSU support students in organising their own events for Freedom City 2017. Racial Equality Officer Safiya Robinson, who is also President of the Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) Network, made a point against the motion stating that the type of events Rebecca was requesting were already provided on a fortnightly basis by her society. Despite this, the motion was still carried forward.

The penultimate motion had the closest result of the evening – one student wanted to introduce mortarboards to our graduate dress. Newcastle graduates traditionally go without an academic cap, supposedly because they were thrown in the river when the University split with Durham. The proposer felt that graduation was incomplete without the mortarboard, but, despite attempts to amend the motion to include bespoke Newcastle-designed caps, Council decided to stick with local tradition and the motion failed.

Finally, Cara Brooke proposed a motion which mandated NUSU to express that the University’s values were being compromised by investing in the arms trade whilst celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. She stressed that she knew divestment may not be possible at this stage, but wanted us to make it clear that this was hypocritical. Council agreed with her, and the final motion of the night was passed – without hitting the guillotine!

NUSU Council will convene again for the last time before Easter on Thursday 16th March, from 5:15pm in the History Room.

The Courier

news .5

Monday 20 February 2017

“INTO School Awareness” of refugee crisis

By Valentina Egorova News Editor UNICEF on Campus has held workshops at Newcastle College in a bid to raise awareness about the ongoing refugee crisis.

The “INTO School Awareness” workshops were run by Natalie Matanda, president of UNICEF on Campus, and aimed to inspire young people to get involved in humanitarian activities.

First series of workshops were held on February 16, but will be lined up again on March 8.

Each session was well attended - overall, 55 students turned up to take part in “INTO School Awareness”.

The workshops are particularly aimed at students striving to become teachers, who need to understand how to accommodate refugee children at schools.

UNICEF on Campus hopes that by attending these sessions young people will be able to explore the global challenges faced by refugees and realise “the myths of a refugee’s journey”.

Matanda said: “What we are doing is just giving some background information about UNICEF in general and about the ongoing refugee crisis as many young people don’t really know what’s happening.”

She told The Courier that students at the workshops were unaware of what UNICEF was and its objectives.

The workshops included interactive sessions on designing and building houses for refugees and an explanatory talk on the global refugee crisis.

During the sessions, students were given various refugee stories and asked to think of designs that could accommodate these families.

Young people were also encouraged to contemplate what it would be like to flee their homes.

Matanda said: “Because of my background in the architecture I thought this workshop could help students to think if refugees moved from a hot to a cold climate would adapt to the normal British housing or they would need something that’s more comfortable.”

She added: “It’s really important that a house is the place where they feel the safest and that it has been designed in a way that makes them feel at home.”

The right design, as Matanda pointed out, will enable refugees to “forget about all the craziness” and “terror” “they’ve just fled from”.

She urges architects to think “outof-box” to create a community for people who no longer feel safe at home and need a helping hand.

“In architecture, it’s important to make a space adaptable for a person, community or a family.”

“Some people require facilities when they come here they need a home that is near these facilities.

“You can’t just put a person in Gosforth, whose child is terminally ill. Imagine the distance to NHS Royal Hospital.”

After the workshops, Matanda said: “I am happy that I came up with the idea.

I am so glad that we conducted the first sessions - the students really enjoyed it and all their feedback were positive.

“It’s a great feeling when you see that your session has managed to inform and get the young people involved in raising awareness for young refugees.

We cannot wait to get other students involved!”

UNICEF on Campus welcomes all students, who want to get involved in raising awareness of refugee crisis in schools.

“It’s a great feeling when you see that your session has managed to inform and get the young people involved in raising awareness for young refugees”

President of UNICEF on Campus, Natalie Matanda Image: Valentina Egorova

#More17: is there something more?

By Anjali Nath

Newcastle Christian Union is hosting a week of on campus events exploring an often asked question ‘is there something more?’ through a series of short talks with free food provided everyday.

The #more17 events will kick off on the week commencing the 20th of February.

The society intends to take the oppor-

Newcastle Christian Union’s evening event Image: Anjali Nath

tunity to unfold some of the big questions people may have and reach out to those who are interested in this topic.

The society will also offer a discussion on whether Christianity can offer ‘something more’.

The society has highlighted that everyone on campus, from any faith or belief, are invited to join the activities they hold throughout the day.

The society is also introducing a new initiative this year in collaboration with

the NU coffee society for all coffee lovers.

“This year the CU is very excited to have partnered up with the coffee society to present the Something More Café where free tea and coffee will be provided every day, 10-3.30pm, next to the Student Union building”, said Murray Wankling, the Christian Union events organiser.

The day will also include a lunchtime event and an evening event.

The lunchtime events will take place at 12-1 and 1-2pm in the History Room, Students’ Union, and will explore some of the Big Questions people have about Christianity, raising issues such as suffering, science and the refugee crisis.

The full lists of topics are: Monday: “Who needs God when we have science?”

Tuesday: “Wars, Refugees, and the rise of the right: Would Jesus leave or remain?”

Wednesday: If God is so good, why does he let good people suffer?”

Thusday: “My way or the highway: why won’t God take me as I am?”

Friday: “How can you be sure Jesus is the truth?

The evening events will be centered around the theme “Something More”, which will be accompanied by a free two course meal, drinks and entertainment.

The evening events are held at St Luke’s Church, Claremont Road, from 7:00 to 9:30 pm, which has been said to be one of the highlights of the year and has been highly praised in the past from similar events in previous years.

The full lists of topics for the evenings could be found here: Tuesday: Something more than what

we see.”

Wednesday: Something more than fear and fighting.”

Thusday: Something more than pleasure and success.”

Friday: “Something more than here and now.” #more17 is one of the most anticipated and prestigious events within the Christian Union events calendar where the society would like to engage and invite all to join, and is open minded for any discussion.

Jenni James, Evangelism secretary at Newcastle Christian Union society, said:“We’re really excited for the week we’ve spent a lot of time planning it and can’t wait to see it all come together.

“We’re hoping to reach as many students as possible through the Something More Cafe, and at the lunchtime and evening events, giving them the opportunity to hear and respond to the gospel of Jesus, all whilst enjoying great coffee and free food.”

For more information please visit their Facebook page “Something More - Newcastle” or event website: http:// www.somethingmore-newcastlecu. com.

6.news

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Peter Tatchell shares his experiences of protest

By Helena Vesty News Editor

Veteran human rights activist, Peter Tatchell, began his workshop by detailing his upbringing in Australia.

Surrounded by an evangelical family, Tatchell was influenced by the teachings of Christianity from an early age, which would eventually play a key role as he transitioned into a life centred around the pursuit of equality for oppressed peoples.

Tatchell’s involvement in such struggles began when saw the galvanisation and successes of the Civil Rights Movement during its most active years in the 1960s.

Concentrating on the examples of nonviolent direct action, Tatchell began to form protests against the discrimination directed at members of the LGBTI community. Tatchell took the opportunity to remark on the changing nature of protests since the beginning of his career.

Specifically, he expressed the contrast between the lack of technology and communication in the early era of the LGBTI mass movement and the contemporary development of social media tools, which has since allowed for a greater reach across all social groups.

However, he highlighted the fundamental importance of having a positive, constructive and achievable agenda, something, which he noted, is signifi-

cantly absent in modern British politics.

Indeed, Tatchell, who broke from the Labour Party in 2000, drew attention to his feelings about Labour’s current lack of a specific plan at a challenging time in the life of the party. He went on to further address the new difficulties in the push for LGTBI rights, including the controversial exemption of religious organisations from legislation that would otherwise serve to promote equality.

The experienced speaker followed with possible resolutions for these conflicts, particularly the need for the establishment of greater dialogue between faith groups and LGBTI activists.

Tatchell explained that bridges could be built on the basis of “shared experiences of prejudice and hate crime”, in order to access and ultimately aid those who are members of both communities. He also expressed the success of trials involving equality and diversity lessons in schools, which could have a great impact on LGBTI children, an estimated half of which are bullied during their school years.

When asked what has kept him motivated in the face of staunch opposition, Tatchell cited those in countries across the world that work tirelessly, in dangerous circumstances, to achieve rights and equality for all. As a result, Tatchell remains committed to the work, and emphasised his continuing campaign to create a fairer and kinder society.

“Bridges could be built on the basis of shared experiences of prejudice and hate crime”

Peter Tatchell at the event Image: Helena Vesty

Opening of the Building of the Future

By Laura Higgins Computer Science students are excited for the anticipated opening of their new Urban Sciences Building, scheduled to open in August 2017.

The £60m project, which is claimed to be the ‘building of the future’, will enhance research and learning at Newcastle University. It’s state of the art exterior will be an attractive addition to the university campus.

Along with The Key building constructed in 2015, it makes another element in the Science Central Vision, aiming to create a ‘living laboratory’, which will underpin research on making urban centres more sustainable for future generations.

Professor John Fitzgerald, Deputy Head of the Computer Science Department at Newcastle University, describes the modernising scheme as a ‘real step forward for research and education in computer science’.

The building’s sustainability is promising for future staff and students. It’s digital features, which connect walls, windows and fittings through thousands of sensors, will contribute to a greater understanding of how to create similar buildings elsewhere.

As a £350m urban regeneration project which will house additional projects, such as the new £40m National Innovation Centre for Ageing and the

£30mn National Innovation Centre for Data, it is not surprising that the Computer Science Department holds bright outlooks.

Arunathy Nair, an undergraduate student in this department, expressed her anticipation about this development: “I am looking forward to working in the world-class facilities. It will be a privilege to undertake research which will better future generations”.

The proposed location of the new Urban Sciences Building is just as interesting.

The 24-acre site, once a mine before being taken over by the Science Central partnership, is located in the heart of the city centre, so that students, staff and the local community can benefit from the development.

As Professor Stephanie Glendenning, Dean of Strategic Projects at Newcastle University explained: “Science Central is unique in the UK. We are creating a demonstration site that is not just another University lab bench but a full scale, real world solution that businesses and communities can get involved with and help to shape” The Urban Sciences Building is undoubtedly an exciting development on the university campus. As the new home of 1,395 talented students and staff, it will pave the way for innovative and responsible academics in the coming years.

“Real step forward for research and education in computer science”

The Courier

Monday 20 February 2017

news .7

Round of applause for sustainable architecture students

By Louise Hall News Editor Rochester Roundhouse, a building transformed by Newcastle University students has been highly commended with the MacEwen award.

Students from the school of architecture planning and landscape Kielder Water & Forest Park Development Trust’s and the local community to transform a dilapidated roundhouse to an exciting new village venue last year and the project has now reached unforeseeable highs with it’s selection for one of two runners up for this prestigious award.

The Roundhouse was designed by students with an open-air amphitheater and contemporary timber pavilion to be used for stargazing, musical performances, and a range of community workshops.

The roundhouse stood out to MacEwen Award judges both for its tangible ‘high-class’ design and nice detailing and it’s teaching and learning programme that provides architecture graduates with experience working on live, budget-conscious projects.

The MacEwen award strives to provide recognition to buildings that take into consideration ‘architecture for the common good’ and maximally benefit

society and the local community effectively and are an improvement to people’s lives.

Red Kellie, Vice Chair of Rochester Village Hall, said: “This project is one of true collaboration, bringing the community together with many other parties, including students from around the world, to create something very unique for the people of Rochester and visitors from further afield. We are very grateful to all who have taken part in the creation of this fabulous new roundhouse.

“Projects like these provide a rich pedagogical experience for the students and they have gained numerous transferable skills, from dealing with statutory bodies, to managing time and cost, as well as the significant challenge of actually having to build one of their own designs.”

Newcastle University’s ‘Go Volunteer’ association was heavily involved in facilitating the project. The scheme aims to help student’s volunteer in all kinds of ways in and out of the university sphere, and support and fund student led projects with their grants scheme.

The development and execution of the project was successful with the input from both Go Volunteer and dedicated Architecture students from within the university and is evident through the commendation for this prestigious award.

“This project is one of true collaboration, bringing the community together”

Rochester Roundhouse Image: NUSU

All aboard the History Society Metroline

By Jake Phillips The much-loved and ever-successful Metro line event ran by Newcastle University’s History Society took place again this year on February 8th.

Inviting students from all years, the pub crawl ensures all get a chance to mix and make friends with people who they might not usually meet. On this basis, invites were also extended to politics and classics students.

At numerous metro stations society members stop off at local pubs to sample the North East’s wide variety of local establishments, and this year’s crawl did not fail to disappoint.

Beginning in the city centre at 1:00pm in the Charles Grey pub, students arrived in their droves to socialise and indulge in an early afternoon drink. The atmosphere was one of pure excitement and curiosity about what the day would bring.

Nevertheless, the route had already been meticulously planned by the Society’s social secretaries, Georgie Harmer, Philippa Norman and Alice Needham.

With the help of a megaphone to shepherd stragglers onto the metro, everything ran smoothly.

From the Charles Grey followed The Chillingham (Chillingham Road), The Anson (Wallsend) and Charlie’s Bar (North Shields). After these, a stop was

made at The Priory (Tynemouth) for a very prompt and delicious fish & chips, which definitely gave those involved a second wind during their brief outing to the coast. What followed were stops at The Firestation (Whitley Bay), The Hunting Lodge (West Monkseaton) The Benton Ale House (Four Lane Ends) and finally, at 10:00pm, The Lonsdale (West Jesmond).

In the process, not only did participants manage to persistently lock eyes with the bottom of a pint glass, they were also able to take in some hidden gems outside of the city centre, with each pub boasting a unique atmosphere and friendly staff. Those who were worn out after a long day then retired for a well earned rest, whilst keener participants and late arrivals ventured out into town to continue their journey.

Ultimately, the Metro line was once again a hit, with the photos (courtesy of Society photographer, Holly Taylor) a testament to participants’ enjoyment. It is hoped that this event will continue for years to come, and Society members should not worry about any lack of further events in the coming months. The Society already has a Pub Quiz at The Lonsdale planned for next week, and with more huge socials coming up, and of course, the Summer Ball on the horizon, there could not be a better time to get involved with this society!

“Inviting students from all years, the pub crawl ensures all get a chance to mix and make friends with people who they might not usually meet”

Students enjoying their pints Image: History Society, Holly Taylor

The Courier

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Monday 20 February 2017

Petition for Cambridge student to be expelled for taunting homeless

NEWSTACK Bristol

Deadly explosive Cambridge University Image: Unsplash@ Pixels

By Isabel Sykes Calls are rising for Cambridge student Ronald Coyne to be expelled from University, for burning a £20 note in front of a homeless man.

On Sunday 12th of February The Evening Standard reported that a ‘change.org’ petition to expell Ronald Coyne out of Cambridge University had reached more than 19,000 signatures. On Tuesday 14th the number of signatures had climbed to over 22,700.

The online petition is entitled ‘Remove Ronald Coyne from Cambridge University, with a recent post on their webpage claiming that their main goal is to support the homeless.

This campaign comes as a response to events in Cambridge, in the early hours of the morning of February 2nd. A student, reportedly Ronald Coyne of Pembroke College, was filmed burning a £20

note in front of a homeless man. Footage of the incident, shared on Snapchat, shows the student dressed in formal wear setting the note alight.

The BBC reports that Cambridgshire Police did not receive any reports or complaints, and they clarified that it is not a crime to burn a banknote.

On Friday the 10th Ryan Davies, a 31 year old unemployed crane operator, told the Cambridge News that he was the man Coyne taunted. Davies told the News that the eighteen-year-old held out the note in front of him before burning it, saying “I’ll give you some change, I’ve changed it into flames.” He described the incident as “absolutely disgusting”, “horrible”, and “just plain nasty.”

Coyne, a Law undergraduate, was also a member of Cambridge University Conservative Association (CUCA), but was immediately excluded from this organisation after the video went to

the social media platform. A statement posted on CUCA’s website said that “the committee was made aware of the private behaviour of an individual member which we considered to be abhorrent and repugnant”, and that the actions of the individual did not represent the rest of the group. According to The Evening Standard, a CUCA spokesperson also said “there is no room for people who behave like that in our association, any other university association, or frankly our university.”

BBC News reported that following the incident, Pembroke College have restricted comments on their Facebook page “to allow a period of calm reflection about an incident by a student which has caused distress and outrage to many people.” The college writes: “We expect our students to treat others with respect, courtesy and consideration at all times, and take allegations of unacceptable behaviour very seriously.”

A PhD student at Bristol University created a deadly explosive after a momentary ’lapse in concentration, on Thursday afternoon.

The student, who has not been named, was following a step-by-step procedure and unintentionally produced the substance, triacetone triperoxide - An explosive material that was used in the 7/7 attacks in London.

The University have confirmed that the student however, will not face any

significant retrospective action. Instead a statement released by the University commended the student’s quick reaction to his nullify any immediate threat, from the substance.

“The graduate student immediately took the action needed to mitigate a potentially dangerous situation, rather than delaying or, worse, trying to cover it up.

No damage was reported to the building and no one was harmed.

Cambridge

Students advised not to wear gowns in town Students at Cambridge University have been warned not to wear their gowns or formal attire in town, following an attack on a Cambridge student, last Sunday.

An email from an English Fellow at St Catherine’s College warned students of a possible threat to their safety if sighted in formal attire, in the city centre.

The concern follows the alleged attack on a student, who was assaulted and verbally abused on Silver Street, while in their formal gown.

The attack has been linked to the recent incident in the city, in which a fellow Cambridge student burnt a £20 note in front of a homeless man.

While it is suspected that the attack was a random act, students are still being advised to be cautious with the slogan, ‘Ditch the gown and the tux’, currently being promoted. A video released, which included the slogan, also encouraged students to drink responsibly and safely.

West of Scotland

Acceptance letters to rejected applicants The University of the West of Scotland has been left red faced after it sent emails of acceptance to all hopeful applicants.

The email was intended to be sent to applicants who had failed to get onto the courses however, the email instead confirmed places wrongly.

The mistake has been labelled as ‘human error’ but it has left many prospective students disappointed.

A hopeful applicant, who aimed to study Primary teaching said, “Thankfully I had a place elsewhere. But it must have been heartbreaking for other people pinning their hopes on getting a place.”

The University of the West of Scotland, almost immediately, apologised for the error and advised prospective to students to contact the University if they had any lasting queries.

Durham

Timetable controversy Controversy has been sparked at Durham University as the institution contemplates changing the academic timetable.

The University’s Executive Committee has proposed changes to the timetable, which could see students’ holidays shortened.

The need for change has come following the rise of students attending the Stockton campus, which has led to exam venues not having a sufficient

capacity to accommodate all of the students.

The change would provide staff a longer period in which to mark papers and students have been reported to be keen on the changes, as the exam period would be more stretched out.

Students could see their Easter holidays shortened however, or even see their graduation ceremonies delayed as a result of the changes.

By Liam Carson News Editor

Comment 10.

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Monday 20 February 2017

Comment Editors Jamie Cameron, Sinéad CorkettBeirne & Sunil Nambiar courier.comment@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Comment

Anything to offer? Deciphering the far-right With radical right politics gaining traction in Europe, Tom Hussey is here with his knowledge and opinion, and questions if these parties offer more rhetoric than substance

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he old adage ‘desperate times calls for desperate measures’ could not be more poignant in offering some reasoning behind this supposed insurgency of the RightWing in the UK, US and mainland Europe.

The rise in support for these parties is obvious, with immigration and unemployment being two issues which underpin Right-Wing support. Yet for me, I beg to question whether we really are at threat from these types of parties and are they even that Far-Right anyway? I feel the media (especially the BBC) has lulled us into a belief system where any political movement that doesn’t follow the leftwing rhetoric and agenda that the British media spouts can be seen as a Right-wing movement.

When you step back, don’t hop on this mindless bandwagon of political correctness and actually consider this supposed rise of the Right-Wing, the evidence is clear that the threat is actually pretty minimal. Yet, fear, as is the case in this country, is perpetuated by our skewing media.

In France, we see Marine Le Pen’s Front

National; the right-wing, euro-skeptic, nationalist party which has acted as the frontrunner in this apparent surge in Right-Wing European politics.

Yet, do I think she will win the French Presidential Election in the summer? No, I don’t. The French are institutionally left-wing, unions are their thing and in true French style protest voters will, in my opinion, vote in favour of Macron if the two were to face one another in the second round of voting. Maybe the French motto Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité may offer some solace to those in fear of this insurgency.

In Germany, the right-wing nationalist Alternative Für Deutschland hold no seats in the Bundestag, holding only 147 out of 1,855 seats in the 16 state parliaments, posing little threat. Geert Wilders’ Party For Freedom in the Netherlands hold only 12 out of 150 seats in the Dutch House of Representatives and the Greek Far-Right Golden Dawn party hold a mere 18 out of 300 seats in Parliament. When properly considered, this threat from the Right, if they even pose a threat to our

The Courier

way of life, is minimal. A+s for the UK, while there is clear evidence of a growing support for populist, Right-Wing parties (let’s not forget UKIP took 12.6% of the vote share in the 2015 general election with 3.88 million votes) it is clear that the UK is protected from a substantial takeover of the Far-Right through the first past the post electoral system which eliminates the mass takeover of Populist Right-Wing parties.

What must be remembered is that the strength of Populist Right-Wing parties comes in the fight and not in the delivery.

Populism is very idealistic, it puts up a fight and can only really be mobilised in times of desperation where it gains a mandate for its existence. Yet, put a Populist party in control where it is no longer the opposition and they will find it very challenging to deliver on the vague, ill thought out ideas and policies they have promised to their electorate and in turn will lose popularity.

SOAPBOX

COMMENT’S HOME OF WEEKLY RANTS

BACK TO BASICS

Sinéad Corkett-Beirne

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s a clumsy person, I have broken my beloved iPhone on numerous occasions.

I practically live in the Apple shop to the point where not only am I on first name terms with some members of staff, but I also know about their personal background. It comes as no surprise then that I rejoiced upon hearing the news that the Nokia 3310 is making a return, for I longed for the indestructible model every time my phone needed repairing.

In an age of advancing technology, will people be willing to go back to basics? I hope so, for I am growing tired of witnessing people being absorbed in their smartphones when they are in the company of others. It’s just plain rude.

The beauty of the Nokia 3310 is that the most interesting conversation that can arise from it concerns what level on Snake you managed to get to, practically forcing you to engage with others.

BREAK THE BANK Dayam Ali

A Laugh or cry: when satire becomes reality As real-life politics begins to reflect satire, Alexandra Sadler defends the magic of parody

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he current shitstorm that is contemporary politics seems to be almost beyond satire. There have, and always will be, controversial and ill-thought policies, but it seems that in 2017 those in the political sphere have really been making an effort to outdo themselves.

Thanks to Trump’s administration and our ever brilliant Brexit efforts, satirical comedians have endless material to choose from.

You could argue that satire has become pretty

irrelevant due to the new bizarro spectacle that is contemporary politics, but I’d argue that if anything satire has become all the more important.

One of the primary functions of satire is to criticise politics, to take something taboo and confront it head on. This, more than ever, is so important, particularly in the case of Trump, where some of the mainstream media outlets are afraid to confront controversial topics (read: basically everything that has happened since Trump’s announcement to run for President) for fear of losing access to the White House.

Satire does not have this problem. Satirical shows, comedy shows and comedians themselves often confront controversial topics habitually, and so it is no change of pace to include recent events.

However, it’s also increasingly difficult to be satirical and make something even more ridiculous than it already is. That’s the appeal of satire at the moment, much of it is so funny because it’s almost true.

Satire also has the ability to cut through the bullshit that often surrounds political scandals. It presents a simple and bold message that can create an indelible impression of events or people. Additionally, the reactions to current satirical television shows are just as telling as the satire itself. Trump’s reactions to Saturday Night Live impressions are remarkable in

that he is so forcefully and negatively reacting to them, and reacting to them at all. I would argue that the reactions of the Trump administration to latest satirical efforts underline the role of satire in a democratic state. If leaders cannot cope with criticism, and yes most of it is criticism, and if doesn’t overstep the line, then how would they deal with the more important global or national issues?

The power of satire is closely linked to the power of freedom of speech, a pillar of democracy, and is a sign of a tenacious democracy.

“Satire also has the ability to cut through the bullshit that often surrounds political scandals”

However, a word of warning. The power of satire is often limited to those who agree with it. We find satire funny because it’s reinforcing our views, rather than undermining them. This isn’t necessarily an issue by itself, but if we don’t consider other opinions, then how can we work to change them? Laughing at satire is therapeutic, but satire alone will not solve political issues. Satire still has an important role in exposing and criticising politicians and administrations, but to have any real impact, we must start listening to those that we don’t agree with.

part from student loans coming in and rent installments coming out, one of the few days that students reluctantly consult their bank accounts is February 14th.

The reason for this is to check whether an M&S dine in for two can extend to a meal out in a fancy restaurant. Valentine’s Day can be expensive, especially when you take in to consideration the cost of buying a card, present, and potentially dinner out if beans on toast do not suffice. Deeper and deeper into the overdraft you go. How do you have the perfect Valentines Day on a budget? Well, look no further than your own home where you can have the pleasure of cooking in your own kitchen. Why not add insult to injury by asking a single flat mate to be your waiter for the evening? Nothing screams romance like rubbing it in the face of a third wheel.

ORIENTALIST NEWS

O

Sunil Nambiar

n the whole, the media’s coverage of Singapore remains somewhat disconcerting.

It seems my home country functions with remarkable flexibility between newspapers with an international readership. According to one, we lack a firm grasp on culture. According to another, we have a rich culture. Sometimes, we suffer over an apparent lack of liberty. At other times, we bask in peculiar superfluities.

Has Singapore – and, indeed, other small countries - become a product of newsrooms overseas; an unfamiliar invention understood not autonomously, but in relation to another cultural framework enjoying greater global clout? Coverage like this reflects an unfamiliarity that weakens the latitude for genuine overseas engagement. It prompts insularity. I don’t imagine in international newsrooms a conscious inclination toward skewed reporting. This is, more conceivably, laxity in journalism presented within a façade of normalcy.

The Courier

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Monday 20 February 2017

Mr Speaker, we need you to be neutral Speaker John Bercow is blocking Trump’s speech in parliament. Sarah Davis says this is overextending Bercow’s role

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n avalanche of right wing abuse, a vote of no confidence and a raging media war: It has certainly been an incredibly gruelling week for John Bercow; seven days in the political limelight is perhaps enough for a life time.

“The hypocrisy of Bercow’s public stance has discredited any possible parliamentary condemnation of Trump” Speaking in the House of Commons on the 6th February 2017, Speaker John Bercow argued the address of a foreign leader is not “an automatic right but an earned honour,” and therefore an opposition to racism, sexism and the support of a separation of powers is a hugely important consideration when debating such invitation. In light of the recent migration ban, Bercow also declared he was personally “strongly opposed to an address by President Trump in Westminster” As the Speaker of the House of Commons, Bercow

holds the most distinguished and prestigious role with the highest level of authority within the Palace of Westminster. The Speaker presides over debate, determining which members can speak; he maintains order during debate, and advocates the punishment of MPs who have broken the rules of the House.

“The Speaker must remain politically neutral to honour British democracy” Within this role political impartiality holds the upmost importance; the speaker must remain politically neutral to honour British democracy.

Mistaking his role as Speaker for spokesman has prompted accusations of hypocrisy and inconsistency. Authoritarian leaders such as Xi Jinping, President of totalitarian China, and the Emir of Kuwait have been welcome despite their atrocious human rights records.

Taking a stance flagrantly contrary to the

elected government has also undermined and compromised the efforts of the British government to uphold the special relationship with the US. Bercow’s comments have also led to a rise in right wing abuse, leading to the legitimisation of Trump supporters. With arrogance and insolence Piers Morgan tweeted: “Britain now officially thinks China has more acceptable values than America, this is complete and utter madness...”

“A stance flagrantly contrary to the elected government” “John Bercow shoots for anti-Trump hysteria, what a silly man my apologies @realdonaldtrump.”

With liberal sentiment in mind, the hypocrisy of Bercow’s public stance has discredited any possible parliamentary condemnation of Trump.

Elected as the House of Commons Speaker in 2010, John Bercow renounced all affiliation with his previous membership of the Conservative Party and relinquished his right to vote, debate and to voice partisan opinion.

Has Bercow damaged Britain’s democratic apparatus? Or does his championship of British liberal values manifest a required opposing stance to President Trump? Theresa May’s deficient, hesitant and weary refute of Trump’s executive order has left her government rather absent of opinion.

“It should not have been left to him to uphold British values”

Bercow’s comments have been applauded by the shadow cabinet; intervention was welcomed

by Jeremy Corbyn, who called for President Trump’s state visit to be postponed and suggested Bercow had “spoken clearly about Donald Trump and his misogyny, racism and behaviour towards international law (…) and I welcome the statement.”

And. while John Bercow’s comments may have been said out of turn, it should not have been left to him to uphold British values such as diversity, and equality of gender, race and religion.

Is Corbyn’s Labour Party in flames?

Labour’s approval ratings has been dire since the referendum. What’s the problem and what needs to be done in the party?

Aaron Bacon

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ith national intention polling suggesting just 24% support for Labour compared to the Conservatives on 40%, there has never been a better time for some soul searching amongst labour members and voters alike.

How did we end up here and are we really as disconnected from our voter base as polls suggest?

It’s easy to dismiss these results, but the reality is the Labour party is stuck between a rock and a hard place in terms of its stance on Brexit. Two challenging by-elections in previously safe labour seats, Copeland and Stoke-on-Trent Central, will test the waters on how much weight we should place on these discouraging polls.

“Pro-Corbyn or not, questions are beginning to be asked on when enough is enough” Supporting the invoking of Article 50 is disorientating its youth base and support from liberal metropolitan professionals, but choosing to oppose the so called ‘will of the people’ would lose support in communities such as Stoke Central and Copeland, who voted decisively to leave the EU. Our stance on Brexit is part of a wider discontentment with the leadership, an issue which has plagued the membership and the parliamentary labour party since our painful defeat in 2015.

Was the Corbyn 2.0 ‘relaunch’ a success following a second leadership contest in just two years? Or have we distracted our membership to mask our incompetence as an opposition to the NHS crisis and the terms of a chaotic Brexit?

Pro-Corbyn or not, questions are beginning to be asked on when enough is enough. Is a shadow cabinet dogged by resignations and a leader who cannot bridge support our best bet at electoral success?

All that is clear is this. The results of the by-elections on the 23rd February will be indicative of where the Labour party is heading, and a loss of either could set into motion a series of movements against the leadership. Even ardent Corbyn supporters will struggle to rationalise a 16.6% swing to UKIP in a seat that has been held by labour since 1950.

Benjamin Eckford

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s a Labour member, I hate being in opposition. However, I believe the root cause of our present polling nightmare is the first past the post electoral system.

“Loud and proud defence of the last government is a necessity. Let’s hammer home the message” We have no alternative but to embrace proportional representation and a progressive alliance to get back into government.

The left is simply too divided as things stand. Second, we must let the Tories carry the can for Brexit.

Whether it is a success or failure will be down to them - let the government live or die by its negotiations.

Next, we must be, and be seen to be, a deeply patriotic p a r t y ,

motivated by love of Britain, serious about defence and policing, and we must show that our internationalism goes hand-in-hand with our patriotism. Patriots love their country, nationalists hate their neighbours. We are the former, not the latter.

“Look, act, and sound like a party that wants to be in government, and will be competent” Loud and proud defence of the record of the last Labour government is a necessity. Let’s hammer home the message that it improved the lives of millions of people, at home and abroad.

Ultimately, we must look, act and sound like a party that wants to be in government, and will be competent.

The constant introspection and endless infighting, for which all wings of the party must take blame, makes us extremely unattractive to the electorate. In short, the entire mentality of the Labour Party must change, from being a party comfortable in opposition to one that viscerally hates not having the power to put our principles into practice.

Jamie Cameron

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abour is assailed on all sides by violent winds of change. In-fighting, the loss of Scotland, and a broken First Past the Post voting system are just a few of the issues that compound having an unpopular leader. Drastic change is needed - human life is in the balance.

Let’s be clear. Labour governments are responsible for absolutely everything popularly considered as British successes: the NHS, a welfare state, quality public education, and the bigger increases in living standards all come from Labour. Contrastingly, real wages have declined by 10% since 2010 under the tories. The stakes are very high.

The Corbyn brand is likely poisoned by now, and ideally he should be replaced by someone who is both genuinely charismatic, and able to pull together the broad church of MPs and voters that is so necessary under the current voting system.

A candidate from the soft left such as Lisa Nandy

“Labour doesn’t need a Brexit policy. It just needs to make life hell for the Tories” could achieve this as well as real social change.

Corbyn has absolutely energised the grass-roots, and any new leader must maintain this connection.

He, McDonnell, and many of the new MPs are needed to keep left pressure and represent the new members. Door-to-door activism is a must, but new members are not participating as much as they need to. This is everyone’s responsibility.

However, this is not enough. Practically, either the SNP must be worked with, or smashed out of existence. Because the latter is unlikely, a progressive coalition with the SNP, Greens and Lib Dems is badly needed to overcome a right-wing strengthened by constituency boundaries and a highly supportive billionaire-owned press.

In the long term, strong left-policies and maximum devolution policy could scupper nationalist feeling in Scotland, but a win must come first. To secure this win, Labour doesn’t need a Brexit policy, it just needs to make life hell for the Tories. However, stronger positions on Defence and Immigration are realistically needed to capture mainstream voters.

Past all this, expose the Tories for the hollow corporate zombies they are, and throw in a sprinkling of luck, with a helpful dollop of media management.

Culture

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Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Culture Editors: James McCoull & Jack Oliver Parker Sections: Lifestyle, Fashion, Beauty, Arts, Music, Film, TV, Gaming & Science courier.culture@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierOnline

Recipe of 2017: The year to turn veggie the Week

Hope Coke’s second recipe of the year is set to keep your fingertips warm and your tastebuds tingling : Serves 2 Ingredients: -2 tbsp coconut oil (or olive oil if you don’t have coconut) - 1 thumb sized piece of ginger, peeled and grated -1 red onion, finely chopped -2tbsp green Thai curry paste -1 tsp turmeric -1 tin coconut milk (full or reduced fat should both work fine) -1/4 of a butternut squash, cut into 2cm chunks -1 courgette, spiralized (or sliced into ribbons lengthways with a peeler) -2 big handfuls kale (spinach would also work) -2 big handfuls frozen peas -50g (or two nests/portions) rice vermicelli noodles (I use brown rice noodles) -1 lime – 3 tbsp soy sauce -a small bunch fresh coriander, roughly chopped Optional, to serve: Tofu, cooked prawns or cooked chicken

It’s the IN thing at the moment. But where should you go to try out delicious vegetarian and vegan meals? Nancy Purle knows the score, reviewing Sweet Memories at Study Cafe

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ecoming a vegetarian is often seen as a move towards a healthier diet, or equated with abstinence. The decision may be linked to moral, religious or environmental reasons. All these reasons are valid, but it is important not to confuse issues with food itself.

A vegetarian diet can, like any other, range from the inedible to the sublime. Too often, a vegetarian substitute you buy is labelled ‘healthy’ or ‘cruelty-free’ with no emphasis on its gastronomic value. The confusion of food with issues is an unfortunate one. It haunts vegetarian and vegan food in a way in which no other cuisine is affected. Being a vegetarian or vegan, should not automatically mean a denial of pleasurable foods, and it should not receive the backlash and damage in reputation that it so often receives. I feel that it is important to bring awareness to the validity of one’s prejudices, whether subconscious or not, before the narration of this particular review.

It is a depressingly grey, windy and rainy Sunday in Newcastle. Plodding around the city centre, every squelching step caused by the tsunami in my flooded shoes, urges me to seek immediate shelter. During such bleak and grey days, the Sweet Memories at Study Cafe is comparably

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lace a large saucepan over a medium heat on the hob to warm up. Add in your coconut oil, then when it’s melted add your grated ginger and onion. Fry for about 5 minutes, until the onion is soft. Add in your curry paste and turmeric and stir it into the onions and ginger until evenly combined. Pour in your tin of coconut milk, then refill the tin with water and add that to the pan too.

Adjust the heat until the soup is simmering gently. Allow it to bubble away for a couple of minutes, stirring every so often to get the flavours nicely combined. Add in your butternut squash and let it cook for about ten minutes, stirring occasionally.

Meanwhile, cook your noodles according to packet instructions, and divide between two bowls, then add half the spiralized courgette to each bowl too. Check to see that the butternut squash is tender but still with a little bite, then add in your peas and kale and cook for three minutes or so, until the peas are thawed and the kale is wilted. At this point you will also need to top the pan up with a little more boiling water to make up enough liquid for the two soup bowls. Depending on how much of the liquid has boiled away, you might need about another empty coconut milk can full of water. Ensure the soup is piping hot, then remove from the heat and stir in the juice of the lime and the soy sauce. You can also stir in your meat or protein at this point, if using.

Slurp your way to warming, spicy happiness. I sprinkled tofu onto mine, pan fried in soy sauce until crispy, which added a nice crunch.

Tingling!

welcoming with its colourful decorum of mustard yellow and tomato red walls, softly dimmed lamps and middle eastern lanterns, and a stone floor of brick-red and black squares. It is a low key cafe - unlike Quilliams - which happens to sell mostly vegetarian and vegan food. Consisting in two floors, I opted for the top floor, which I am told is the floor which entices its customers to settle for an afternoon to study - this explains the latter part of the cafe’s name ‘at Study Cafe’, and I agree that it is a cosy place to settle for an afternoon with your work. Since I was not planning on leaving until the Tsunami outside had considerably calmed down, I order a juice, a coffee, a main and a pudding.

“...comparably welcoming with its colourful decorum of mustard yellow and tomato red walls, softly dimmed lamps and lanterns...”

The juice consisted in apple, pear and ginger - very standard. Juice is juice, it is refreshing and is served to fulfil its purpose of hydrating its consumer. But if you must know, I was still rather pleased with its presentation, as it was served in a generously sized tankard, where the top layer was ethereal and frothy, and it had a yellow bendy straw - and I like bendy straws. Juice simply isn’t done right without a bendy straw. [Price, £3.10] For main, I ordered the vegetable curry, which was vegan. It came served with white rice and a simple side of leafy green salad. The curry served its practical purpose of filling me up and making me warm. However, I suppose that since this cafe heavily emphasises on producing healthy, local and organic food - which is great as I hugely support local food - it was not criminally indulgent enough for me on this depressingly wet and miserable day.

Pudding was the real salivating course of the afternoon.

All their puddings are vegan and home-made, and I was gorgeously spoiled with a raspberry and chocolate cake.

It was honestly a very special and indulgent moment. A

cliché, but that is only because I am a chocoholic, and therefore, I am biased and use language which may appear an exaggeration.

“This is a sweet and special cafe. I will be coming back here again, but only to have a drink and perhaps an indulgent treat.”

Coffee - bog old standard Cappuccino with almond milk. Served to warm my chilled and brittled bones.

[Price, £2.75] This is a sweet and special cafe. I will be coming back here again, but only to have a drink and perhaps an indulgent treat. It is fairly priced in that local, organic and vegan/vegetarian food generally is more expensive than other food groups.

The service was actually very good: the Philippine man who served me was gorgeously sweet and friendly - he even gave me a complimentary scone after my meal, but maybe that was because I blew my cover as a food critic.

Purple is the new black

Sophie Schneider is here to keep us updated on the truth about superfoods; do goji berries really make you live forever? Are avocados really good fat? We examine the evidence...

J

ust as you’ve started to pile plates full of avocado on to burgers and chips and convince yourself that you’re basically eating a salad, the trends of 2017 state otherwise. Avocado and kale are out, and purple foods are now in.

It was fun for a while, tricking ourselves into thinking that kale was edible; adding it to dishes for that alarmingly green shock-factor, and chewing down that bitter after taste with a grin-and-bare-it smile. Instead, we can trick ourselves all over again with chaga mushrooms.

Although, chaga mushroom tea is bitter and smells a bit like wet dog, it has incredible antioxidant properties and boosts your immune system no end. If the drizzling Geordie rain is catching up with you, chug some chaga tea from Indigo Herbs (indigoherbs.co.uk) and fight away any beckoning colds.

The food that everyone is talking about, is fermented foods. They’re great for soothing your stomach, as the

bacteria has already eaten the sugars for you, and they have a great collection of good bacteria to sort any tummy issues out. It’s only recently that health blogs have started to reiterate the importance of having good gut flora, so fermented yoghurt is bound to be used in lots of new recipes. Sauerkraut always sounded like a slightly repulsive German pickle to me, but it’s actually delicious; you can ferment a lot of veggies with raw apple cider vinegar, and make your own raw sauerkraut, or fermented ginger beetroot chopped into salads is always a winner too. Student budgets never stretch very far, so by fermenting foods you make them last a lot longer, and you can resurrect that sad bit of cauliflower that looks like it’s seen better days.

“It’s only recently that health blogs have started to reiterate the importance of having good gut flora.”

I use seeds frequently to bulk out salads, or even on top of jacket potatoes or in stir-fries, and I used to rely on chia and pumpkin seeds. After years of spitting them out and casting them as inedible, watermelon seeds are now the new seed craze. They’re full of protein, and health shops dry them naturally and flavour them with chilli or other spices. Health food companies have started making protein bars from the seeds, with flavours such as Zesty Lemon and Mint Chocolate. These bars are easy to recreate at home, with granola, honey, seeds, and any spices you fancy.

Purple foods are also bound to grace many an insta this

year (gone, are the green blur of veggies with a ‘healthy lunch’ caption). Maqui berries are the South American black elderberry equivalents - these superberries have extremely strong antioxidant powers, associated with antageing. You’ll struggle to find fresh or frozen maqui berries in the UK, but health food shops stock the powdered or dried berries, which can be added into smoothies or compots (Amazon do good bulk deals). Purple veggies are packed full of anthocyanins - the antioxidants in maqui berries and blueberries – and purple carrots and asparagus are all the range.

It’s always hard to catch up with what’s in and what’s out; my rule is that if it’s got a high nutrient value, it’s healthy. I ignore all the Avo-haters who contest that they’re too fatty, it may be true that they’re not the skinniest of health foods, but they still taste damn good and are a hell of a lot healthier than a wedge of cheese.

The Courier

.13

Monday 20 February 2017

Henry on Harry

Henry Holborn, 3rd Year History and Politics meets Harry Taylor, 3rd Year History

Firstly where did you go?

Well we set off and we went to Wetherspoons.

I think it was The Union Rooms, best Wetherspoons in the city.

“I was charmed by his cockney wit and passionate eyes” Did you choose it, or did Harry choose it?

Yeah we both set on it. It’s cheap, cheap and cheerful.

It is indeed… what were your first thoughts when he walked in?

Well he was wearing beanie hat, a flowery shirt and a raincoat because it was raining pretty hard.

My first thought was … hmmm I might’ve seen him before somewhere but I can’t remember where.

Where you initially attracted to him?

Yeah, yeah I’d say so. He’s got strong dark eyes.

Very sensual.

Did you talk about anything interesting?

We got talking about our course, because we do the same course. Then we were talking about politics because we both had similar views. We’re actually both in the Labour society, funnily enough. It’s crazy.

If Harry was a piece of furniture what would he be?

I think he’s be an electric heater because he’s got a very warm heart Awwwww! Does this mean you fancied him?

Yeah, I did I think.

Did you go on anywhere afterwards?

Yeah, where did we go? Oh yeah, we went to the jazz café for a beer Was there anyone performing?

Yeah there was a little jazz band, it was good Did you get really drunk or was it a quiet one?

We had a few beers but not excessive What was your favourite thing about him?

He was very quick witted If you could change one thing about the date what would it be?

Erm… I was a bit intimidated because he was older than me. Well not intimidated, but I’ve never been out with an older guy before.

So if you could rate him out of 10, what would you give him?

A solid 9 Woah, that’s so high. Why a 9?

Well…

Does this mean it’s true love?

I dunno, maybe. I mean we had very similar interests so why not?

Do you think you’ll be seeing him again in the future?

Hopefully yeah! Ooh, I thought of a good line to say about him… ‘I was charmed by his cockney wit and passionate eyes.’

Cheers man, good luck with it all.

Harry on Henry Hey Harry! So where did you go?

We started off in a lovely little Wetherspoons. It was curry night, and I thought, ‘ooh, do I get the curry, its quite smelly food, are we going to have a kiss later?’ But we both got really spicy curries.

He was sweating, I was sweating, and it was quite weird for a first date because it was very sweaty.

“He’d be a quite dated, but still functional, dusty living room lamp” But then after that it was fine, he bought me a cocktail in Wetherspoons, which I thought was very gentlemanly.

Did you go on anywhere after Wetherspoons?

We went to the jazz café. He touched my leg under the table actually, to some really smooth jazz Saucy...

Saucy indeed!

What were your first thoughts when you first saw Henry?

I thought he looks like a lovely boy, he’s probably a really nice young man What do you think he thought about you?

I think he thought I was really fit. Because most people’s first impression of me is like… wow.

Like a lot of people who first see me are surprised someone who’s so good looking is as approachable as me? And as down to earth as well.

And humble?

Oh yeah, I’m very humble.

What did you talk about?

We spoke about music. he’s got really bad taste in music. His favourite bands are Bastille, Mumford & Sons and Muse. Whereas my favourite bands are.... well, they are much better than that.

If Henry was a piece of furniture what would he be?

He’d be a quite dated, but still functional, dusty living room lamp.

Haha why?

He’s quite long. He’s a lengthy boy.

Did you kiss?

Yes. A lot?

We had a proper snog yeah.

Does that mean that you fancy him?

Yeah. I mean no. No I don’t.

Are you going to see him again?

No. He’s under the impression he’s seeing you again...

Well… I like to lead boys on so I told him I was into him but actually I’ve got two other guys on the go.

What would you rate him out of 10?

10. 10. 10….. or maybe 1. 10 or 1.

Somewhere between 10 or 1?

Exactly.

Well, cheers Harry!

Fancy a date? We’ll set you up. Contact us!

Find us on The Lifestyle Writers 2016/17 Facebook page

14.lifestyle

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Lifestyle Editors: Ana Beretsos, Ruth Loeffler, Antonia Coleman-Harvey & Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward

Horoscopes from Sorceress Shakeshaft Ward Brooklyn Shakeshaft Ward uses her mystic powers to guide you through your week:

Aries March 21- April 19

This week a friend that thought they’d lost you forever will welcome you back with open arms.

Happy times are on the way!

Taurus April 20- May 20 If your name begins with an L and you do business and accounting, woahhhh your week’s gonna be bad! everyobne else, you’re okay.

Gemini May 21- June 20

I didn’t choose the gym life, the gym life chose me Going to the gym is as much a about exercise as it is observing the humans around you, Siobhan Fuller has all the people to look out for next time you are breaking a sweat

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t’s the start of 2017 and the gym is a place that a lot more of us are becoming familiar with. We finally are getting used to the layout of the machines, you’re friendly with the trainers at reception, and you’ll start to recognise the types of annoying people who are also working out. It’s more than likely that you can pinpoint exactly who they are next time you hit the treadmill:

1) The Peacock So you’ve just rolled out of bed, chucked on whichever sports bra is closest to hand and pulled your hair up into a bun. It’s fine, no one will even notice at this time of the morning and it will probably be empty because most people are in bed. Except you look over from the leg press and notice a matching set of Nike trainers, crop top and leggings. Her hair is glossy, her skin is glowing and she has barely broken a sweat. Most annoyingly, she’s nailing her squats whilst looking like a Victoria’s Secret model.

That toothpaste stain on your shirt now feels like a neon sign declaring just how together she is in comparison to you.

“Most annoyingly, she’s nailing her squats whilst looking like a Victoria’s Secret model”

Green will be your lucky colour this week. Try and be eco-friendly and mother earth might reward you in mysterious ways.

2) The Hoarder

On one bench, they’ve thrown their hoodie; on another, they have their water bottle balanced. On the floor space next to them, their headphones’ wire is trailing. Basically, they have taken up as much room as possible without physically lying down and spreading themselves out like a starfish. In addition to that, they’ve taken one of every dumbbell weight just in case they need them at some point in the next hour. They behave like it’s their own private gym, and you can forget about using half the equipment when they’re working out.

Cancer June 21- July 22

Cancer, stop being so damn crabby! yeah, they didint dod the washing up but you need to chill out. Don’t ruin your friendships over a couple of dirty pots.

Leo July 23- Aug 22 Wednesday Shake at the Cut is calling you... the mellow beats of r’n’b will balance out your imbalanced spirit. Dude you need to chill out, your stars are all over the place this week!

Virgo Aug 23- Sep 22 Virgo, you think you’re beiong crafty but a little start told me you’re going to get caught out soon.

It’s alright, you can ride the waves of deciet... for now....

“But hey, at least they’ve got strong thumbs from all that time they spend texting” 3) The Texter This perpetrator (a close cousin to the Hoarder) is taking the longest break in the world. In fact, you’ve listened to two songs on your playlist and they’re still tapping away on their phone whilst sitting at a machine. In all honesty, you’re not even sure if they’ve started their work out. But hey, at least they’ve got strong thumbs from all that time they spend texting.

Libra Sep 23- Oct 22

libra, I know you dsid shit this week. Just keep your chin up and work hard, your grades don’t define you. However, too much self care could be getting in the way of sucess. Treat yourself right, but don’t get lazy!

4) The Grunter

Scorpio, I know you mightve spent valentine’s day alone. But a specila person will walk into your life this week. Whether its a lover or just a freind, you won’t be dissapaointed!

I’m so proud of you this week Sagittarius. You will confront your biggest fear, and everything will work out fine. Even if it doesn’t, your friends will always love you.

Capricorn Dec 22- Jan 19

The moon is shining bright for our little Capricorns, maybe go outside and dance around in the moonlight a little bit!

5) The Judge

“You can hear them giggle at the person who is red in the face and sweating after hitting the rower”

No doubt about it, those four stereotypes are irritating but the worst kind of person at the gym is the one who overtly judges everyone else. You can hear them giggle at the person who is red in the face and sweating after hitting the rower. O pulling a face at the person still trying to work out which weight they can lift on the chest press. At the end of the day, if you’re at the gym, you’re already leaps and bounds ahead of the person sat on the sofa. We should support each other, no matter how long we’ve been a gym-goer for, so the individuals who laugh at those putting in the effort are undeniably the most awful. Give me a Texter any day over them!

Aquarius Jan 20- Feb 18

Majestic is one word to describe your week! Try and dress appropriately, you might run into a VIP and you need to be prepared.

Pisces Feb 19- March 20

Hello my fishy pisces friend, you are looking fierccccccce. Just kidding, pull yourself together, you’re covered in yoghurt for God’s sake!

“We get it, you lift - but please stop disrupting us with all those weirdly sexual noises”

Uncomfortably loud groans followed by a melodramatic crash provide the soundtrack to your gym routine as the guy in the corner - most likely the one wearing a very strappy vest and vigorously shaking their protein bottle - insists on lifting and dropping the heaviest weights. We get it, you lift but please stop disrupting us with all those weirdly sexual noises.

Scorpio Oct 23- Nov 21

Sagittarius Nov 22- Dec 21

“Basically, they have taken up as much room as possible without physically lying down and spreading themselves out like a starfish”

Spotted!

This is a mixture between a spotted and a rant. Now the majority of us spent the weekend trudling through the Black Friday sales. You either expect something to be discounted to the point that you are tempted to buy or they use it as ploy for you to find things you like until you realise they aren’t included in the offer. I experienced the weirdest thing that I couldn’t understand. Finding a lovely coat I was thrilled to see that it was discounted to £64.... from £65. That is not a discount- and for the pure cheekiness I refused to go forth with my purchase.

Have you seen something weird and then wished your friends were there to witness it? We’d love to know who/what you’ve seen around campus that has made you chuckle in the last week. The weirder the better. Just Facebook us and let us know, because chances are we’d love to have a chuckle too.

The Courier

lifestyle .15

Monday 20 February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/lifestyle c2.lifestyle@ncl.ac.uk | @CourierLifestyle

The Beauty and the Busker Homemade hacks

The streets are alive with the sound of busking and Sam Blackburn is here with the lowdown on the musical art, along with a special little shout-out to his favourite artists

I

n cities with culture, you tend to find some amazing buskers, people so talented that you feel obliged to give them some form of money… in Newcastle though, that’s not the case. If you walk around Newcastle you will notice that most of the buskers appear to be pretty boys who care more about their fashion sense than the shit music they’re playing, usually covering every Ed Sheeran song imaginable. I’m sorry to inform you lot that you’re talentless and that I’ll only be impressed if you start playing good songs like Domination by Pantera. Regardless of these Harry Styles wannabes infesting the streets, there are some worth checking out.

I would highly recommend looking out for these guys.

If metal isn’t your thing, you might be more inclined to listen to a street bassist known as Ojay.

I remember seeing Ojay for the first time back in 2010 outside Haymarket. It was when I first started playing bass and I was just amazed by is ability to groove with such a funky sound. Armed with a plethora of effects pedals, Ojay sits around dif-

“Ojay’s bass playing is so food that a worldwide bass players group I am a part of on Facebook has shared multiple videos of him playing, pretty much putting Newcastle on the map” Outside Sainburys on Northumberland street you may have came across two lads playing electric guitars. If you are an uneducated heathen you may have ignored it because they’re not playing any of that derivative indie crap you rave about so much.

If you know what good music is though, you will notice that these two fine musicians are shredding all day long, playing a plethora of hit rock and metal songs. If you’re fortunate, you can sometimes catch them playing Metallica’s Master of Puppets.

Image: Busker Temple Bar on Flickr

ferent parts of town, playing a long to some interesting and progressive pieces of music. Ojay’s bass playing is so good that a worldwide bass players group I am part of on Facebook has shared multiple videos of him playing, pretty much putting Newcastle on the map.

“Instead of playing boring indie and pop hits, this guy has a range, singing a different song every time I walk past him”

I’d like to give my last mention to quite possibly my favourite busker in all of town. I am not aware of his name, but you can find him a long Northumberland street as well as near the Granger Market, armed with his acoustic guitar and accompanied by his dog. This guy hasn’t got the perfect X Factor voice what would make Simon Cowell cream his pants, but neither did Bob Dylan. What this guy has is passion to perform and sing for the passersby. Instead of playing boring indie and pop hits, this guy has range, singing a different song every time I walk past him.

I first noticed him when he was singing R.E.M’s hit song “Man on the Moon” a few years back, and from then on I have always looked out for this guy.

Unlike Mr perfect with his fine cut hair and clothes from a Topman window display playing songs to try and show girls he’s more than just a Neanderthal who wears pretty clothes, this busker actually has talent. Plus when Newcastle are playing he dresses his Dog in a Newcastle top.

February is the new January

A new month is the perfect reason to refresh those 2017 resolutions that may have got lost along the way, Emily Wilkinson tells us why and how to get yourself back on track

L

et’s face it, January is a tough month. Although December is equivalently cold and dark, the rosy glow and excitement of Christmas certainly makes it a lot more bearable.

You’ve come back to uni in 2017 inevitably fatter, poorer, and stressed, hiding out in the Robbo, drowning in deadlines and revision. Why burden yourself with the pressure of ‘New year New me’, when clearly the person you were in December had a far better life than you in January?

“In theory, life without alcohol seems refreshing and invigorating; no hangovers, no drunken embarrassments, a detox after Christmas by which you will be able to focus entirely on yours exams”

With the stress of exams, it is preordained that you will revert to your 2016 comforts (or maybe I am just weak-willed). As a firm believer of ‘you deserve it, treat yourself ’, my resolution of No Chocolate 2017 was broken the first day I started

revision for exams. As January will evidently forever remain a month of doom and gloom (at least during our time at Uni), why do we not call it a write-off and try again with those New Year’s Resolutions in February: Fresh February, if you will (or is that too cheesy?)

One of the most common resolutions I witnessed crash into complete failure last month was Dry January. In theory, life without alcohol seems refreshing and invigorating; no hangovers, no drunken embarrassments, a detox after Christmas by which you will be able to focus entirely on your exams.

But the first hurdle comes when your housemates and friends return after the Christmas break, and ‘one drink’ inevitably ends up with you all in Sinners’ Cage.

The FOMO and temptations just become greater and greater as January progresses, with the cheap drink deals on Osborne Road, End of Exams celebrations, trebles and RAG week, I’m ashamed to say I don’t know a single person who managed to succeed at Dry January. So, why not attempt, or reattempt, this resolution in February. This way, you will always be fresh for those 9ams and start the new semester the right way.

Every year without fail, the majority of people go for the ‘bikini bod’ resolution, “I want to be skinny

for 2017”. They promise themselves they will be the person that only drinks green stuff and gets up at 6am every morning to go for runs.

From Your Lifestyle Editors

I

t is still cold, dark and it seems to be wanting to snow when all we want now is for it to warm up...Christmas is over! But whilst it is still Baltic conditions out there we have a few things for you to do on the cheap at home. No trecking outside for us!

Face scrubs

Good for acne: You will nee:d: -1/2 cup of oatmeal -2 tbsp honey -15 drops of lavendar/tea tree oil (if you’re into that and have it around, don’t worry if not.)

-Dash of lemon juice You will need to: -Break up the oats a little bit but not too much that they’re powder.

-Combine all the ingredients - add more honey if you need it to combine everything and stop it falling down your face.

-Apply generously!

Why it works: -Tea tree oil and lemon juice are both antibacterials which means your face will be fresh from any dirt that has snuck in there in the form of spots or blackheads.

-Oats are anti-inflammatory and are actually great for sensitive skin - take evidence from Herbal Essences sensitive scalp shampoo...

-Honey naturally opens pores which helps the whole thing actually work!

“Why burden yourself with the extra pressure of having the Hot Chocolate with a twist worry of the gym and healthy is better than a decadent warming drink? eating on top of the stress of What One with alcohol in it that will remind you of the exams?” amazing after eight chocolates! (The alcohol how-

But, if you are anything like me, fifty percent of my presents were edible, and when I came back to uni, my little room was filled with all my favourite food. The gym is overcrowded, but it is too dark and cold to run outside. I’m bored and stressed, and so the last thing I’m craving after a long day at the Robbo is a salad. Why burden yourself with the extra pressure of having the worry of the gym and healthy eating on top of the stress of exams?

Everyone is living in pyjamas throughout January anyway, and so it is far better to wait until after the exam period to have a complete detox when you actually are able to make the time to improve yourself.

ever is optional- with or without you will be feeling festive) However lets not use the store bought powdered mix- lets go old school hot coco.

What you will need for 2: 100ml double cream 2 tsp icing sugar a few drops of peppermint extract 300ml whole milk 100g dark chocolate 50ml crème de menthe What to do for the cream: - Using a whisk whip the cream in a bowl and stir in the icing sugar to the cream along with a few drops of peppermint extract.

What to do for the drink: - Gently heat the milk in a saucepan until simmering. Make sure you keep stirring- burnt milk does not taste or smell nice! Then take it off the heat.

- Add small pieces of the chocolate into the milk, stirring until the chocolate has completely melted and smooth.

- Return to the heat until warm and add the Christmas magic of the crème de menthe.

- Pour into the mug and decorate with the whipped cream andd add any and as many indulgent toppings – it is Christmas after all!

16. fashion

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Fashion Editors: Liz Rosling, Izzi Watkins & Zofia Zwieglinska

New to kitten heels? Get your first pair in this classic and simple styling slingbacks by H&M, and they’ll surely become the staple that you rely on most in your wardrobe come spring.The rear ankle strap design helps grip and prevents your feet from slipping off, and also the ideal heel height provides further comfort to your feet, making them very easy to walk around in.

Pair up with your LBD or a relaxed mid-calf pleated dress for a laid-back, dainty evening look. Get a look that’s effortless and snazzy by opting for boyfriend sweatshirts and tracksuit trousers.

Topsh op ,£

.99 59

These sleek pastel creations will soon become your go-to summer shoes, whether you’re heading to a wedding or graduating, they are sure to finish off any outfit perfectly. Finish the look with a floral, ethereal dress and a bold statement clutch and you will be the belle of any ball. The chunky heel will help you to dance the night away, and the morning too. The pastel colour schemes also means you will be bang on trend everytime you don them, so go on, treat yo’ self!

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We’re obsessed with this luxe TOPSHOP zebraprint pointy-toed pair, as the real leather-lined surface and cone heel would not be complete without the sexy cut- out ‘V’ shape. These gowith-anything beauties provide perfect fit and more importantly— they give that sexy teeny tilt that slims the leg and causes a little wobble while walking. Make a statement by teaming with culottes or slouchy boyfriend jeans and a classic roll-neck while. Go ahead and stock up sartorial catnip for your shoe racks with this bold pair in 2017.

5 p, £ o h

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Image: Wikicommons

Fresh-faced rising stars in modelling Molly Macnamara reveals the youngsters’ that have rocketed to fame in fashion

E

very year there is a new crop of young, freshfaced and impressionable adolescents competing for designers’ attention and longing to become the next muse.

The media projects the image of young models in a somewhat negative light, often detailing their journey into adulthood whilst in the spotlight as tumultuous and inevitably ending in ruin. The ultimate supermodel, Kate Moss, had her rise to fame at 14 years old; in fact, pretty much all the 90’s top models were discovered before they had even reached for their first legal drink.

Controversially, Kristina Pimenova, a nine year old model from Russia, discovered at only 3 years old, has recently been dubbed by The Daily Mail as the ‘most beautiful girl in the world’, proving that beauty doesn’t seem to have an age. This is further evidenced by Daphne Selfe, who at 84 still regularly features in the glossy pages of Vogue!

Some would argue that this trend for younger models is merely the modelling world saluting science. It’s biologically understood that we are at our peak attractiveness between the ages of eighteen and twenty, so it only makes sense that it is the youngest of girls who find the most success sport-

ing the latest trends. Nowadays a model isn’t just a face, a model is a brand in itself. Agencies scout these young girls and develop them into more than just a clotheshorse that can walk on a runway, with personal brands delving into make-up and own fashion lines.

“The ultimate supermodel, Kate Moss, started her rise to fame at 14 years old; in fact, pretty much all the 90’s top models were discovered before they had even reached for their first legal drink”

Previously, a good walk could secure success while now the young girls must offer the full package and truly live the lives that the brands sell. As a result, the new ‘it-girls’ have lots to say, and are not afraid to say it loudly. I think that this is a great thing for the industry and will aid in squashing the negative connotations associated with models being seen as only able to show clothes. Topshop recently announced that they were taking a step even further out of the fashion box and introduc-

ing a totally unknown model as the face of their 2017 campaign.

Lily Jean Harvey, a 17-year-old student from a small town in the English countryside isn’t just a pretty face, and is by no means your average seventeen year old. Not only is she the new face of the leading high-street fashion brand, she has also done various editorials with influential fashion magazines such as i-D and Miss Vogue, and she is full of fresh, bold opinions. Breaking the unfair stereotype of shallow models, Lily has made it very clear that she isn’t afraid to be different. She has a youthful air about her and yet demonstrates her maturity in interviews, recently claiming that Michelle Obama is her inspiration, and that her favourite thing is poetry. We need more young models like her!

Though more young models are entering the fashion world, the focus shouldn’t be on their age, but on what they have to say, whether they are 18 to 80. Done correctly, youth can be used to capture a generation and inspire young girls in a positive way.

instagram: @kristinapimenova2005

Instagram: @chanelofficialaw

If you’re particularly favouring metallic touches, then incorporate this trend into your everyday attire by investing in these ZARA light-reflecting silver mini heels. A smart yet causal footwear comes in a cleverly foldable back that can be worn as babouches.These versatile mirrorshade pair will lend a modern twist to any outfit and wear particularly well with a simple tee and supersize blazer for a sophisticated street style, or partner up with your straight-leg cropped jeans or flares and a oversized bomber for an off-duty chic.

ove them or loathe them, they’re dowdy, mumsy and a grandma fave, and they’re making a come back. Kitten heels have had the most awe-inspiring fashion renaissance that totally swept across major SS17 catwalks.

Big fashion labels revamped classic styles that paid homage to their greatest ambassador: Audrey Hepburn, and everyone seems to be getting on board, including our current Prime Minister. Be it Dior’s elegant branded ribbon slingbacks, Vêtement X Manolo Blahnik charcoal satin lovelies, artistically chic cylinder heels by J.W. Anderson, or Céline’s minimal cone mules heralding the new femininity that took over the scene. They’ve had a makeover— nostalgic yet fresh, they are new, timeless and super-comfy!

I personally am a firm believer in them as they’re less daunting and provocative than towering heels, but still give your outfit an itty-bitty lift. Their insane practicality and wearability will quickly and comfortably take you from office to the dance floor without any blisters!

I’ve picked 3 purse-friendly multi-taskers to pull off the hottest trend this season...

H &M , £1

Arguably one of the most excessively original characters of modern couture though is Dutch designer Iris van Herpen. Her creations take design to another level, with garments which wouldn’t look out of place in a sci-fi movie, and this season was no exception. The theme for spring 2017 was ‘Between the lines’, which was achieved through creating materials through a process of injection moulding of transparent polyurethane. The material was then hand-painted in black and white lines. The results are stunning, allowing for the creation of indescribable organic shapes which when left unpainted can then be layered to give the illusion of water droplets. One of the most impressive pieces this season is a black and white armour-like dress. Parallel lines fall in semi circles creating the illusion that the model’s body shape is transforming. What’s more with this collection the defined lines take on a life of their own when they move and bring an element of magic to the clothes.

What each designer proves in their Spring 2017 couture collection is that fashion is not restricted to ready-to-wear items or the must-have items seen in the windows of Topshop. The couture clientele is estimated to have increased by 20-30% in recent years with many courtiers including Chanel noticing an increase in European and MiddleEastern clients, as well as the red carpet celebrity buyers. However, for many the couture shows are more about the chance to see and feel inspired by the artistic expression shown through the medium of clothing.

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“Although the death of couture has been predicted for years, the spring 2017 show, demonstrated fashion at its most exquisite”

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lthough the word ‘haute couture’ is closely linked to high prices, celebrity clients and a Parisian debut, it shouldn’t be confused as meaning this alone. To class as couture, the designer or ‘courtier’ must first receive certification from the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture.

They then need to maintain an atelier in Paris employing at least 15 people full time, and present a collection of 35 or more looks for day and night for each collection. ‘Haute Couture’ creates made to measure garments, and therefore fittings are an important part of the production, which can take over 800 hours each to produce- hence the high prices.

Although the death of couture has been predicted for years, the spring 2017 show demonstrated fashion at its most exquisite. Chanel created mirror -themed looks which reflected the luxury of haute couture. They kept a mostly pastel palette with rare flashes of black and midnight blue. Materials were structured in all forms from ruffles to sharp tailoring. The collection is perhaps best epitomised by look 55 of 66- an almost tutu shaped garment, with a dust pink feather skirt- reminiscent of an ostrich bustle, combined with a gem-encrusted bodice, which emphasised the waist with a wide pale pink belt.

Meanwhile the Armani Privé collection was characterised by bold orange materials contrasted against black. Chiffon and sequins ruled the drawing board, as well as black spiked sashes and snake skin belts. Repeat patterns reminiscent of Persian carpets, paired with large amber earrings and necklaces created a colourful and glamorous effect. The most exotic look however was a dress which combined a relatively simple sequined sheer sleeveless top separated by a single gold bow belt from the twirled satsuma-coloured crepe chiffon skirt. The skirt formed two layers- the bubble shape layered over a skin-tight layer. Its exceptional craftsmanship emphasised the purpose of haute couture to serve as a platform for originality and creativity.

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Miranda Stoner talks high end fashion and 2017 ‘haute couture’ highlights

You’ve got a trend in me: Kitten Heels Sally Mu discusses the best of the high street for this season’s purrrfect shoe, meow L

Top s

The Allure of Couture

instagram: @katemoss12

instagram: @lily.jean.harvey

The Courier

fashion .17

Monday 20 February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/fashion

Trump wants you to #Dresslikeawoman

Amanda Jane Yap discusses Trump’s latest comments and what they all mean for her

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DressLikeAWoman – has been nonstop trending these past couple of days. President Donald Trump, with his brash and unconventional disregard for traditional moral codes, has unsurprisingly succeeded in angering women yet again. Under the new Administration, President Donald Trump has said that the men are required to ‘dress sharply’, while the females are required to ‘dress like a woman’. Like many of his policies with unclear intentions and vague guidelines, President Trump has failed to define clearly what he regards as ‘dressing like a woman’ to be.

If I may be so bold to infer, judging by President Trump’s notorious past of degrading women with Image: Wikicommons his ‘locker room

banter’, I would not be surprised to guess that the meaning behind his words is quite plain: dressing seductively or revealingly to flaunt a female’s femininity to please the eyes of all hot-blooded males.

“It is disheartening to see that the most powerful man, with the most influential office in the world is not fully supportive of equal rights” My outrage is relatable and shared by women internationally. Each time our gender makes a giant leap forward, there willl always be an ignorant misogynist who will undermine the accomplishments of all women, setting us a couple of steps back.

We are in 2017! Nowadays women’s rights are being championed globally and women are making waves with their various achievements; it is disheartening to see that the most powerful man, with the most influential office in the world is not fully supportive of equal rights between men and women. As trivial as it seems, uniform defines an individual’s identity as an external representation of it. No matter which uniform a woman dons, it

signifies the back-breaking work performed by a woman for the betterment of society, especially when working in a male-dominated industry where they are exposed to sexist remarks daily, intentionally or not.

As a woman, an expression of tiredness can be misinterpreted as an expectation for preferential treatment. As a woman, it is often necessary to keep your head down and work four or five times as hard compared to male counterparts to prove to yourself and others that your capabilities are not limited by gender. Yet as much as these women set increasingly-high expectations for themselves, society is advocating the mindset that women ought to be wearing tight pencil skirts and bust-enhancing blouses to become eye-candies to fuel the fantasies of the males. In the 21st century, it is a giant step backwards for women to be objectified like this, known for their physical assets and little else.

However, as Michelle Obama likes to put it, ‘When they go low, we go high.’ As women, we are called to set ourselves apart by striving to make a difference every day even when we do have to go that extra mile (or two) to prove ourselves. If we don’t actively fight for our gender, no one else will.

Famous families: Gen Z’s superstars

Angus Kirk on the rise of the celeb kids who that are taking the fashion world by storm

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ake a look at The Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame on any given day and there’s a pretty high chance that you’ll come across an article about the child of a famous person doing something mundane. Critics have accused these over-privileged few of living a life of all play and no work, complete with fancy cars, millions of Instagram followers and an easy route into a career of their choosing. We’ve taken a look at a few of the most well-known ‘style icons’ who also happen to have super famous parents to take a look at how much fame can help you get ahead in life.

The Beckham Kids The children of David and Victoria Beckham have it all and they know it; just look at those smug ‘I’m richer than you’ faces’. Quite frankly, they have every reason to be smug, as recent estimates suggest ‘Brand Beckham’ is now worth over £600 million - not bad for a former pop-princess and footballer. Both Brooklyn and Romeo have modelled for Burberry and the smuggest child, 11 year old Cruz, released his autotuned debut single last year, ‘If Everyday Was Christmas’, which peaked at number 7 and led to Piers Morgan slamming his parents for ‘pimping out’ their son. And let’s not forget Harper, who, aged five, designed her mum’s

annual world AIDs Day t-shirt. These kids have pretty much been handed everything on a plate, taking on endorsement deals to enhance the brand that their parents have served up for them.

have never won these endorsements, I do admire her for maintaining her contracts for years, a rarity in the current modelling landscape, which she clearly couldn’t do without some degree of talent.

“Critics have accused these overprivileged few of living a life of all play and no work; complete with fancy cars, millions of Insta followers and an easy route into a career of their own choosings”

Lily Rose Depp Lily Rose Depp, the daughter of Johnny Depp and model Vanessa Paradis can really rock a Chanel jumpsuit. Her career started when she appeared in comedy horror film ‘Tusk’, and since then she’s put her incredible bone structure to good use on the cover of British Vogue and Chanel’s catwalk. Depp has worried her father by quitting high school to dedicate more time to focus on her career. Her famous family has obviously helped her out, but leaving school early does show a level of independence. She also modelled for the Self-Evident Project, as she identifies as LGBT, putting her fame to good use to raise awareness of a broader spectrum of sexuality.

Georgia May Jagger The daughter of supermodel Jerry Hall and Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger, Georgia May has amassed an impressive number of sponsorship deals, including contracts as the face of Rimmel, Chanel, Mugler and Versace. This is unsurprising given that her mother graced the covers of 40 magazines, including Vogue and Cosmopolitan; who better to teach you to perfect that smouldering stare into the camera? Although without her world- famous surname she would probably

Instagram: CruzBeckham

The Kardashian ‘Klan’ You can’t talk about celebrity kids making it big in the fashion world without talking about the Kardashians. Love it or hate it, their reality show has given us iconic moments; Kim hitting Khloe with her handbag for ruining her ‘Bentley moment’ or Kylie confusing a pig for a chicken. The clan have modelled for Calvin Klein, Victoria’s Secret and endorsed countless products, including Kylie Jenner’s own lip kit. The family have perfected the art of being famous for being famous, and not very much else. In fact, Kendall has been criticised for copying indie makeup artist Vlada Haggerty’s photos. Not cool, Kendall.

Instagram: Lilyrosedepp

Instagram: Georgiamayjagger

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Instagram: KylieJenner Instagram: KendallJenner

Instagram: BrooklynBeckham

The rise of ‘Fashtivism’ Izzi Watkins finds out what happens when the worlds of fashion and politics collide

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Instagram: @louise_carmel_hall

odels at last week’s LRS show bared all to the show’s exclusive FROW’ers with messages of ‘Fuck your wall’ sprawled across them. In making political statements, Mexican born Raul Solis was not alone, as a few days later Raf Simmons made his own feelings towards a certain tangoed-man loud and clear by blasting out Bowie’s ‘This is not America’ to general applause.

While fashion and politics are no strangers, this year’s NYFW has seen their union become closer than ever, with designers and attendees alike raising their voices about a broad spectrum of political issues. But is this ‘fashtivism’ a mere passing trend à la tassled jeans? And, more importantly, does it really have the capabilities to engender any actual policy change in The White House?

“Fashion is, at the end of the day, a business and thus profits will always come before protest”

Anna Wintour appears to think so, since this week she stepped out donning a hot pink badge that read ‘Fashion stands with Planned Parenthood’. The pins were specially designed by Conde Nast in partnership with the Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) and were distributed to a range of high-profile figures as an act of defiance against Trump and his plans for cut-backs for the orgainsation. The flashes of hot pink on various FROW’s across New York have already garnered media attention, serving to reinforce fashion’s place in politics, if only for raising awareness if nothing else.

After all, Jeremy Corbyn’s most recent Insta (a knitted Corbyn doll, for anyone interested) is unlikely to reach the swathes of followers (currently 74 million) that religiously double tap Kendall Jenner’s every move and inevitably, political statement.

“It is worth noting that Wintour has never used the Vogue brand to wade into more controversial topics such as gun control or police brutality”

Although Wintour’s actions were commendable, they were also savvy; in the weeks leading up to NYFW three million people attended women’s marches around the world, a large proportion of whom were millennial women, a key component of the Conde Nast customer base. It is therefore worthwhile noting that Wintour has never used the Vogue brand to wade into more controversial topics such as gun control or police brutality, and that she personally paid Trump a visit in his New York Tower earlier this year- did she therefore simply have a change of heart? Or does Wintour have alterior motives when it comes to Vogue’s ‘fashtivism’?

Criticism has also mounted over the perceived hypocrisy of the Calvin Klein brand. While Raf Simmons, creative director at Calvin Klein, may have made a statement with his choice of backing music, Mr Klein himself has very publicly stated his desire to dress the new First Lady, reminding us that fashion is, at the end of the day, a business, and thus profits will always come before protest.

Regardless of the reasoning behind this surge in ‘fashtivism’, the end result is surely the same, and if the industry is provoking more people to become engaged with politics, then it cannot be condemned. Looking forward, it will be interesting to see how London reacts to the political turbulence of 2016, and will we follow in Solis’ footsteps and brand ‘Brexit’ on our bums? Only time will tell…

18. beauty

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Beauty Editors: Miranda Stoner, Ellie Trenrt & Ellen Walker

De-stressed to impress

Amanda Jane Yap shares her beauty tips for keeping you stress-free this Semester

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he thing that we come to realise when in university is that stress is not just a problem during the 3 weeks leading up to the examination period, it occurs unexpectedly and in very random ways: being clueless about an allocated assignment, failing to snag a seat at the popular Robbo library or when stores run out of your clothing size during a sale period. One way or another, we need an avenue to release steam and angst before we all combust internally. Whilst a good night out or a share-size bar of chocolate are always good shouts, why not try these guilt-free stress busters next time the dreaded brain-fuzz ascends.

Hand-held scalp massager It looks like a spider or an egg-beater with detached ends. This product relieves stress through an initial ticklish sensation when you feel your pressure points being pressed, then the subsequent relief of enjoying that soothing head massage.

Stress will not be as heavy as before. As well as relaxing your tired mind, it enhances blood circulation in the head to reach your hair follicles, allowing you to grow a fuller head of thick luscious hair.

So, it does not matter if you are on the brink of failing everything, at least your appearance is not as bad as your results, right?

Face masks One of the most affordable go-to stress relievers!

Whatever facial concerns you may have, there will definitely be at least one to fit your requirements. A gentle reminder: Do not waste the excess serum in the face mask packet, apply it around your neck for maximum results. If you are not a fan of commercialised face masks, make your own face mask by mixing oats, banana and honey into a thick paste.

From there, explore other ingredients to create your own facial magic. The best part is that it will cost you next to nothing!

Good scented body wash Do not underestimate the wonders of your favourite scented body wash! Perhaps it is the unhurried feeling of feeling pampered that loosens the knots of tension internally. When you emerge from the bathroom smelling fresh, your senses feel rejuvenated, allowing you to focus better. So, start with your favourite scented body wash or shampoo today, we all need to take a bath anyway. For extra stress relief follow with your favourite moisturiser and why not try an in shower exfoliator or faketan.

Fragrance plug Your room is your sanctuary; hence it should smell heavenly. Invest in a good fragrance plug!

It has been proven that our olfactory response is directly linked to the emotional aspect of our brain, so smells affect our moods. The advantages of using a fragrance plug is the massive collection of scents to choose from and the average time to finish one bottle of scent is more than 3 months.

Just when you start to get bored, it’s time to change scent. My recommendation would be Bath and Body Works Wallflower Fragrance Plug, you will never look back.

Massage fitness sandals Often a fond favourite of the senior citizens in our community, but if you are wearing it in the privacy of your own room, no need to worry about the judgemental stares of others. The jutting holes in the footbed stimulates the pressure points in your foot to eliminate bad moods. It also eases the stress, depressive and neurotic states as it strengthens the nervous system. If it is difficult to find such sandals or a rough rock surface to walk on, massage the sole of your feet using two or three lemons without standing on them.

You’ve just gotta bag it up

Lois Johnston gives us her top tips on how to cover up those post-all-nighter eye bags

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ne of the hardest things about make up is covering those pesky under eye bags. You can do everything right and put everything where it’s meant to be, but sometimes even spending up to hundreds of pounds on what is essentially face paint doesn’t hide all of our imperfections.

Contrary to what our mums believe, under eye bags are not always caused by lack of sleep and staying up till the early hours of the morning binge watching Netflix. But, in fact, a whole range of factors can cause those dark circles we all hate so much. For example: genetics, oversleeping, air pollution, veins in that area, allergies and many more.

“If at all in the morning toy are feeling particularly rough you could also roll on an easy under eye brightening cream”

should now be thinking about eye creams, not just to avoid wrinkles but also to keep the eye area moisturised and avoid saggy skin in later life. If at all in the morning you are feeling particularly rough you could also roll on an easy under eye brightening cream. The cool metal ball of these products is often all that is needed to wake you and your face up in the morning.

“Coloured concealers are often a good route to go down for the under eye area” The second, and my personal favourite route to go down is the make up route. Obviously, the make up industry is saturated at the moment with products

that claim to hide every blemish and imperfection you’ve ever had on your face and sometimes it is hard to know which product works best for you.

Coloured concealers are often a good route to go down for the under eye area. Depending on your skin tone and the shade of your eye bags, you will need to choose which is right for you. How colour correcting works is by putting the opposite colour on a colour wheel on top of your problem area, the colour will be cancelled out and much less visible.

So, for example, if you have particularly purple tones in your under eye area, you would need a yellow toned concealer to cancel them out.

The same if you have blue-ish grey undertones, you would need a pale pink concealer. Some people don’t like this step because it means adding one more step to the make up routine and you still have to put concealer on top anyway, but in my opinion, used correctly, coloured concealers really do work.

“Just remember that if your skin is prone to creasing, set the concealer with powder”

There are two different angles to take when approaching eye bags, one of them is in the preparation. This includes drinking as much water as you can throughout the day, to keep your skin as hydrated as possible from within, and of course filling up on fruit and veg rather than carbs and other fatty delicious foods. Also, if you have the money to invest in skin care, this is a very good place to start. For example, these days there are so many under eye masks available in both high and low end brands, which are so easy and simple to use - and are mess free!

I also read somewhere that girls as young as 20

Instagram: @esteelauder

The type of concealer you choose depends on your personal preference. Often for a heavier coverage look, a concealer which comes in a pot is a much better choice, but often this can feel heavy so some people prefer a more liquid option with a dufour applicator. Just remember that if your skin is prone to creasing, set the concealer with powder.

And, if all else fails, go back to basics and slice up some cucumber. And pray.

Beyond basic beach waves

The weather might be gloomy, but Susanne Norris is here with some simple methods on how to achieve and maintain those sought after beach waves

Everything you will need Straighteners: £129 John Lewis

Hair brush: £10.50 John Lewis

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ired of the constant rain in Newcastle? Ready for the summer? Well luckily, you can style your hair in a way that reminds you of the better, warmer days. That’s right, the beach wave is back. I’ll run you through a few different easy ways to create these waves.

The braid and heat method This is the age-old but super easy way to get messy-looking waves. Begin by tying your hair into two braids. Next, you’re going to want to spray them with heat protector all over (you can do this before you braid but I find it easier to do it after). Then, take your straighteners and run them over your braids 2-3 times each. Leave your hair 5 minutes and then undo the braids and you’ll find you have beautiful beach waves. Finish the look by spraying salt-spray and giving your hair a good tousle.

The authentic method

Surf spray £22.00 Johhn Lewis

Heat protector spray £12.95 Johhn Lewis Plus: Hair ties and hairspray Instagram: @fxgeek

This method begins with washing your hair to give you that authentic beachy feel. Begin by washing and conditioning your hair like usual. When you’ve done this, flip your hair upside down and spray salt-spray all the way through it. You can do one of two things next. Either leave your hair to dry naturally for a wilder wave, or equally you can roughly blow-dry it for a more voluminous look.

Once your hair is dry, finish this look by adding in a few loose curls with your straighteners if needed, or just spray with hairspray to finish the look completely.

The bun method

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This one again works best when you’ve just washed your hair, although you can just begin by wetting your hair the tiniest bit. It creates more controlled, curlier waves than the method above.

Begin by washing and conditioning your hair like normal, and then blow-drying until nearly dry (if you’re starting with dry hair, I’d recommend filling an old heat-protector spray full of water and lightly spraying your hair instead so it’s just a little bit wet). Next, spray your hair all over with salt-spray.

You’re then going to divide your hair into five sections (as equally as possible) and twist into bunshapes which you secure with a band. Go over your hair again with the salt-spray once it is in the minibuns. The final step is to continue drying your hair with a hair-dryer until it is completely dry. Once it is completely dry, take your hair out of the buns and you’ll be left with perfect waves.

Keeping your waves over-night This last tip is all about how to keep those waves beautiful overnight. For those with naturally straighter hair, this can be achieved through a pincurl. Roll a 1 inch section of hair into a pin curl and secure with a bobby pin. Do this for all your hair and sleep like this to keep those waves. For girls with naturally curlier hair it’s a lot easier. Simply put your hair into two braids and sleep like this, and you will find your hair stays perfectly wavy without the frizz in the morning.

Give one of these a go and get in touch to let us know how you get on. We’d love to see some photos!

The Courier

beauty .19

Monday 20 February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/beauty Instagram @courier_beauty | Twitter @CourierBeauty

Seasonal beauty update Comeareas you Sian Dickie tells us what we should be sure to add to our trend-ship circles this month

Instagram: @nylonmag

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tranger Things fans rejoice! Although the popular show isn’t coming back to our screens till Halloween, this year’s spring beauty trends smashing the catwalk are fantastically 80s inspired, with bashful blues and pink hues taking centre stage. So, if you are more of a brave Barb or perhaps a pastel princess like Nancy, there’s a makeup and hair trend for everyone for this new season.

“To be a true disco queen on a night out, glitter graphic liner is the new update for spring 2017”

Gone are the red and bronze grunge eyes of winter 2016; with exaggerated pastel wash shadows taking the lead on the runway this season.

Kenzo and Nylon Magazine put a new twist on this typical spring trend. Winging out these ice cream shades to the temple and lacking eyeliner with wild boyish brows framing this look, gives a youthful and fresh vibe for the beginning of the festival months. NYX cosmetics make this look easy and affordable for anyone, with their ‘Hot Singles’ eyeshadows at £2.50. To attain the true

80s look, ‘Poolside’, ‘Gumdrop’ and ‘Flirt’ would be best to use for the kaleidoscopic appearance.

The popularity of graphic eyeliner was becoming more distinguishable towards the end of last year. To be a true disco queen on a night out, glitter graphic liner is the new update for spring 2017. Forget glitter tears, this glitter look is all about being bold as you can be with the tears this season being outlined with thick black liner to create a pop art kind of look.

However, with all these colours going on the eyes, it’s important to achieve balance. Nude and brown lips are still in so don’t go getting rid of ‘Velvet Teddy’ just yet. If you are for the super natural look, using a simple lip exfoliator like the Lush’s, ‘Kiss Me’ almond flavoured sugar scrub banishes the appearance of dry lips leaving a pinkish hue. Teamed with good old vaseline this is the perfect combo to repair the damage from the continuing cold weather.

Grey is still popular for nail colours this spring, replacing the neutral pinks of years gone by. Although this may be a little boring for some, grey nails can be the perfect base to add more glitter!

Because I’ve realised through researching this article, if you don’t have glitter somewhere in your beauty routine, you’re definitely going wrong.

If you don’t have time to add tiny sequins on

Instagram: @boemnails_lashes

your nails or just can’t be bothered like me, Barry M have released some goddess-like nail shades called ‘Molten Metals’ which are the cutest accent colour for grey nails. ‘Bronze Bae’, ‘Silver Lining’, ‘Golddigger’ and ‘Copper Mine’ are only £3.99 and have a quick drying time, so are perfect when you want to look like you’ve made an effort.

“To be a true disco queen on a night out, glitter graphic liner is the new update for spring 2017”

If you have straight hair it’s all about making an effort this season but if you’re a curly haired girl this season is yours. As seen on the Topshop Unique runway and celebrities like Zendaya, the ‘curly hair flip’ consists of tons of curly ringlets, with a deep side-parting and the hair pushed on the opposite side to create loads of volume. This look is the wilder the better kind of vibe so be prepared with your teasing comb to maintain it. Plaits still remain a spring staple this year but worn more loosely with floral accessories to create a whimsical aura.

These beauty hacks got your back Hannah Lockyer is here to help ensure that you are feeling beautifully positive 24/7

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here’s no denying that although university is an exciting prospect, it is also an extremely self-conscious one too. As silly as it sounds, at home I knew what was shoes were cool and what outfit was deemed appropriate for a night out, FYI, high heels do not work down the spiral staircase of Soho. I found myself worrying about how I looked far more than I really needed to, and in return I began to feel I’d lost a little confidence. So, I thought I’d share with you my top tips for whenever you’re feeling like you’ve lost a little of your oomph.

music. There’s something that just makes every task better while singing and dancing to your fave tunes. There’s no easier way to boost your mood!

Beauty hack #1

Beauty hack #4

Okay, back to basics. Tweezers. Even the celebrities of this years ‘I’m a celeb’ used their dingo dollars for a pair. And the countless ‘eyebrows on fleek’ memes show the reason. Well groomed (not over plucked) eyebrows frame your face, making your features more balanced and make your smile look even better!

There is absolutely no reason to wear more makeup to feel more beautiful or confident. In fact, studies show we often feel more confident if we are wearing less make-up. The one thing I’ve realised throughout my years of green eyeshadow or sparkly liner is that make up is all about emphasising that one feature you love about yourself. So, concentrate on your gorgeous shaped eyes, or lips or cheekbones and sit back and let the compliments roll in.

Beauty hack #2 Shower to music, get ready to music, cook to

Beauty hack #3 Get enough sleep. We feel invincible at this time in our lives, apart from the odd hangover.

However, the full 8-9 hours of sleep does not get enough credit. Waking up refreshed, with no under eye bags staying for the long haul? Yes please.

Beauty hack #5

Sarah Davies tells us why doing ‘you’ is the right thing to do

Colour is fun and adventurous. Black, grey and white are safe proof. But, colour is what gets you noticed – in a good way. I love having painted nails, or having pretty coloured jewellery. In fact, my favourite shoes are pink Adidas trainers. When I bought them, my mum asked me if they were from the kid’s section. Kids wished they looked this jazzy.

Beauty hack #6 Buy yourself some hot underwear. The lacier, the better. I love my ‘Bridget Jones’ aka, my comfy black cottons. But, there’s nothing quite like a matching set where you can you look in the mirror and think ‘Yas Gurl’. The most important opinion of yourself, is yourself. So, it might as well be a hot one.

Beauty hack #7 Finally, since it’s the new year I feel I can say this without wanting to squirm a little inside.

Exercise. A peachier butt makes for a happier person. Its science. Hello beautiful and confident endorphins, goodbye yesterday’s takeaway.

Flickr @Yumi Momoi

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Images: wwww.urbandecay.co.uk

xhausted and depleted by the constant differing expectations of women in society? Tired of being told what is expected of women by men, and worse, other women? Here is why in 2017 we should disparage and renounce discouragement and judgement of others and focus on how our beauty, whether that be with the addition of make-up or not, reflects our own individuality.

GoogleFacts tweeted early 2016 “studies show that men like women who wear less make-up” accompanied by two remarkably helpful images comparing Miranda Kerr bare faced and made up. In the absence of patriarchal, parodic twitter accounts, women alone are facilitating a similar rhetoric: Demi Lovato tweeted in 2015 “relax with all the contouring girls. You don’t have to paint your face like a clown to be beautiful”, “is it just me or are all those makeup “tutorials” getting a little out of hand #LESSISMORELADIES.” Even research published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimented Psychology declared that men prefer women who wear 40% less make-up. However, it is not all doom and gloom; the ladies of twitter prevailed, one asserting: “whelp time to put more make-up” another declaring: “studies show that women don’t wear make-up to impress men” and another proclaiming: “so if I cake on my make-up will stupid a** men leave me alone?” The response of the female community reveals the true value of such discriminatory, misogynistic comments.

The assumption that during the 21st century humans still need to defend their bodies and choices, against the opinion of others, is completely absurd and frankly comical.

Bobbi Brown declares confidence, beauty and individuality are the beliefs that they hold central.

Make-up is an expression of creativity, joy and playfulness, it gives people the power to transform, to bond with one another, a chance to self-care and most importantly the confidence to face the world despite of how defeated and broken they may feel on the inside. Make-up’s ability to transform is not an aspect of vanity, but a chance for us to enhance and highlight aspects of ourselves that we are proud of, and mask and disguise those parts of ourselves we are not so comfortable showing the entire world.

Make-up has enabled so many women to finally feel comfortable with certain parts of themselves that they were once insecure about. The way we dress each day, the way we style ourselves, the decisions of length and breadth of eyeliner each day reflects our own individuality! Caitlin Moran told Interview Magazine 2014: “my belief is that if David Bowie can do it, I can” “You can wear make-up for whatever effing reason you want.” Some women practice yoga, and some practice bold blending techniques. Enhancing our natural features has enabled many to show their best self to the world every single day.

Moral of the story? Whether you decide to rock up to your early morning seminar embellished with glittery electric blue eyeliner, vibrant red lipstick, contoured cheekbones, or completely bare faced, feel beautiful being yourself and adorning your perfect individual qualities. Because let’s be honest it takes incredible skill to shape one’s eyebrows 15 minutes before a 9am, when the residue of blueberry trebs still lingers on in your hair.

20. arts

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Arts Editors: Tamsin Daisy Rees, Jonathan Hastings & Meg Holtom

SALTY CLASSICS: Hannah Brew

NewBridge Project space to relocate Luke Acton interviews Newbridge Director Charlotte Gregory about the proposed plans

What classic do you tell everyone to read, and why?

Whatever it says about me being an angsty teenage girl, it’s got to be The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

Without being flowery or obscure, it reads like a poem. In one part, Plath captures the sensation of nausea. In another, she pins down the loneliness of being excluded from a conversation where the other two people are so (figuratively) far up each other’s arses (or asses as the book is American) that you practically drop off the face of the earth to them. Some of the problems facing the narrator are still relevant to woman today - she is only taken seriously by the girls in her dorm when she gets a male admirer (see the film She’s All That).

What’s the most overhyped classic?

She may have been a trailblazer for female authors, but the ‘razor-sharp wit’ of Jane Austin in Pride and Prejudice doesn’t come across to me. All the excessively long paragraphs and dense prose of your classic Victorian novel without the grittiness. Everyone ends up happy; it is wish fulfilment, centred on marriage and men. Elizabeth Bennet is essentially a “cool girl” (see Gone Girl) and every other woman in the book apart from Jane (who doesn’t really have a personality anyway) is an airhead/boring/imperious. Eventually, Elizabeth settles for an emotionally-stunted man-child, who looks down upon most women, and spends the better half of the books sulking and pouting. For some reason this is hot in a man but not a woman; everyone shits on Mary for doing exactly what Darcy does.

What classic do you lie about having read?

Technically, I haven’t ever lied about reading any books. However, I used to skim rather than closely read books when I was younger; I could say His Dark Materials. Looking back I seem to have zoned out on major parts of the books which involve angels and scenery and zoned back in the parts which involve food. To this day, I’m not entirely sure what happened in the second book.

Snog, marry, kill the characters in the last classic you read.

All Quiet on the Western Front. Probs snog Müller as he’s a cynical shit who might just need a little lovin’ in his life. Marry Katczinsky for sure, that man can sniff out a meal anywhere and has the perfect balance of warmth and pragmatism. Although, since I’m pretty sure the soldier narrating the book (Bäumer) has a massive crush on him, I’d have to fight Bäumer first. Considering he’s a World War I front line soldier that might not be my finest hour.

I’d personally sign the order that sends Kantorek to the front line, him being the schoolmaster who, through his jingoism, sends most of his pupils to their deaths whilst avoiding army service himself.

From two different classics, what is your likely ship?

If I must cross-ship it’d be Tess from Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Martha from The Secret Garden.

Both of the characters are extremely kind, roughly the same age and come from rural, salt-of-theearth backgrounds; Tess from Wessex and Martha from Yorkshire. The happy-go-lucky, no-nonsense attitude of Martha would be a good foil to Tess’s more melancholy, semi-philosophical nature. Plus, I reckon Martha would treat Tess like an actual person with a past as opposed to putting her on a pedestal and then tearing her down (fuck you, Angel!)

WHAT’S DOON IN THE TOON 20 February

Newcastle Rally: Trump Not Welcome!

NEWCASTLE UNITE Grey’s Monument @ 17.30

25 February SHADE House Party Nemix @ 19.30

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his April, the NewBridge Project on New Bridge St West, one of the largest organisations in Newcastle’s Creative Quarter and home to over 80 artists, will re-locate.

Notice has been given by developers to leave the space that they have occupied for eight years.

They will be moving to a new building in the city centre, but this looks to be part of a larger trend of developments making Newcastle less hospitable to artists and independent business. Norham House is owned by the Reuben Brothers, number 60 in Forbes’ 2016 list for the richest people alive, and is managed by GVA, one of the largest property management companies in the UK. How artists moved into an area owned and managed by such money-oriented entities is a mixture of the financial crisis, when there was no money in property or its development, and artistic need. The artists got a cheap space to work in and the landlords got an 80% tax break from the council for housing not-for-profits. However, circumstances have changed, the economy is no longer in recession, so landlords don’t need what’s called ‘meanwhile’ occupants because the people they’ve been waiting for, the people with money, have arrived.

Art often has a questionable relationship

with finance. Ethics of scarcity due to artists’ deaths and corruption within institutions to do with appreciation and incestuous backscratching being some of them. But in this specific case the moral relationship is decidedly clear.

“The forces pushing NewBridge out and the ones slowly eroding the character of the city through gated, private student accommodation are of the same kind. Without personal and political will to challenge them, they will go as far as they can for profit”

Officially endorsed projects like The Baltic and its top-down organisation is not enough by itself to create environments that are conducive to creative growth. The Baltic should exist, large bureaucratic institutions are good at doing big things for wide audiences (and for a place that doesn’t have

a permanent collection, it does well playing to its strengths by promoting strong and exciting emerging artists). But The Baltic is a place that you exhibit, not a place that you develop, and places for development are needed for larger institutions to exist. The Baltic itself understands this with their studios and project space in the Baltic 39.

The Director of the NewBridge Project, Charlotte Gregory, highlighted this need in an interview for this article: ‘It was very hard, being a more emerging, early career artist to access, to find those networks, to find those more affordable spaces and have those opportunities. NewBridge grew out of a desire to create that.’ NewBridge and the developers both grew from demand and opportunity, what separates them is their contribution to the city. New student housing and office space is common, the artists in the Creative Quarter are the cultural core of Newcastle.

The forces pushing NewBridge out and the ones slowly eroding the character of the city through gated, private student accommodation are of the same kind. Without personal and political will to challenge them, they will go as far as they can for profit.

That is not what makes a city great, it makes it hollow.

Hancock’s new boner erect-ibition

Amy Baird takes a look at The Great North Museum’s sneaky archaeological displays

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he Great North Museum: Hancock has existed under various names since 1884 and has delighted generations of children and adults. With its wealth of various collections and family favourites such as a T-Rex replica, Big Mike in the Fossil Stories Gallery, Eric the Polar Bear in the Living Planet Gallery, and the 2,500-year-old Mummies in the Egyptian Gallery; it has something for everyone.

Following the success of its previous temporary exhibition ‘Spineless’ in 2015, the Museum now has even more to offer as it has opened a new temporary exhibition: ‘Bones: Skeleton Secrets of the Animal World’. The family friendly exhibit shall run until Sunday 14th May and is located at the heart of the university campus. The Great North Museum: Hancock is perfect for entertaining visiting friends or family, filling in time between lectures or a weekend day out. The Museum is free of charge, although donations are encouraged to allow for continued work and potential future exhibitions.

‘Ever wondered why we cannot fly like a bird or leap like a frog, or how snakes can move so

quickly without any feet?’ These are just a few of the many tantalising questions the exhibition addresses with the help of over 100 different bones, teeth, fossils and skeletons from various animals from the land, air and sea. Some of which have not been on public display for over a century!

“The family friendly exhibit shall run until Sunday 14th May and is located at the heart of the university campus” The exhibition is separated into three sections: ‘Change, Movement, and Survival’. ‘Change’ explains why some bones become fossils, whilst others do not. ‘Movement’ explores how bones help animals to move in certain ways. Meanwhile, ‘Survival’ shows us how these animals teeth, horns and tusks helped them to live.

From the skeletons of a domestic cat, to that of a salamander, or even the skull of a hippopota-

mus, the exhibition is full of variety and helps us to visualise how these animals moved, lived and evolved. You can compare a cow’s femur bone with that of an elephant. Or study an orangutan’s skull and marvel at its similarity to our own, or be surprised by the spineless skeleton of a hedgehog. You can admire the skeleton of a seal suspended from the ceiling above, or gaze with awe at the size of a narwhal’s skull, whilst trying to comprehend the size of a full skeleton. As well as this, many would agree that one of the most impressive features is the wall of mounted osteology.

Apart from the huge array of bones and skeletons, what makes the exhibition so enjoyable is how close to the artefacts you can get. Although there is a strict no touching policy, (to allow for the preservation of the specimens) you are able to observe from a delightfully close proximity. Furthermore, with audio/visual interaction, a learning zone, dress up, games for small children, wheelchair access and friendly invigilators, the exhibition is truly welcoming to all.

The Courier

arts .21

Monday February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/arts c2.arts@ncl.ac.uk | Instagram: @CourierArts

Our North East Picks of the Week

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Paola Ciarska: Coming Along Nicely THE GLOBE GALLERY

n 1990, Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web. Just short of 30 years later, for most of us the internet is not simply a just a part of our daily lives, but the axis on which we pivot.

The insanely fast development of smart phones has given us the ability to take photographs, communicate in a way that reduces thousands of miles to a second and connect instantly to the moving hive of the online universe. We have been gifted a resource of infinite knowledge available from the convenience of our pockets. And yet, as humans seem so often inclined to do, we abuse it.

“We have been gifted a resource of infinite knowledge available from the convenience of our pockets. And yet, as humans seem so often inclined to do, we abuse it” With the internet is the inevitable rise of social media. In a society that profits from insecurity, online platforms have helped to fuel the false creation of achievable ‘perfection’, particularly in relation to body image. Overly self-critical, we are starving and we believe that ‘likes’ and notifications are the nourishment we so desperately need to feel full again.

Paola Ciarska’s ‘Coming Along Nicely’ contains a series of illustration that depict women naked and engaging with modern devices (and supposedly, the internet). In small, brightly coloured, busy, square rooms they appear safe and contained. But this of course is not the reality. What we share online is not contained. It is eternal and. like a phone call, it can travel thousands of miles.

Whilst what we expose may be a matter of choice, (and we should not necessarily place shame on those who choose to share more), the issue is our ignorance of how far this can travel.

Ciarska is spreading an important message. Exposure may nourish our ego, but it does not nourish our happiness. In a world of artificial vanity, it is time to address the reality of our online habits.

Wanderlust: The World in Watercolour THE LAING GALLERY

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he Laing gallery’s watercolour collection is very nice. The walls are painted deep navy, giving the faint sense of being underwater while viewing works built with a medium dependent on this life giving substance.

Water also dominates the theme of many of these works: Venice, a destination summoning artists for centuries in the ethereal mystery of the impossible city, straddling east and west, rising out of water. The style of these depictions were varied, from the painstakingly detailed, to vague, misty allusions to form, to more contemporary depictions in lurid hues.

“I immediately remember the sets which we used in Primary School, the neat rainbow of colours, neat, that is, if you were extremely lucky, more likely a mess of confused colours all tainted by one another”

This variety inspires us to question the purpose of watercolour. For many of the artists visiting Venice, such as Sergeant, the purpose of the visit was to execute larger oils, thus his depictions seem an attempt to grasp the feeling of the city, or to practice depicting the city. For others, such as Ruskin, these sketches aimed to aid him examine the art of the city more closely, and thus hopefully gain a greater insight into the history of the city and the influences which have shaped it.

What is wonderful about watercolours, felt in the works displayed, is their portability. When thinking of watercolours I immediately remember the sets which we used in Primary School, the neat rainbow of colours- neat, that is, if you were extremely lucky, more likely a mess of confused colours all tainted by one another. But these sets were easy to carry out with you, could be used on paper, the pad and set then thrown into a bag or large pocket. Though, therefore, these works are not necessarily striking or ground breaking works of art, through them we get a sense of artist’s everyday experiences, we see not works they have slaved over but sketches of sights which have caught their eye. They are snapshots taken before cameras were available, their influence seems, however, to have lasted into this age of Instagram.

Helena Buchanan

SELLL Lecturer JACOB POLLEY WINNER OF THE TS ELIOT PRIZE 2016

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acob Polley was born in Carlisle, Cumbria, in 1975.

He has written four acclaimed collections of poetry, The Brink (2003), Little Gods (2006), The Havocs (2012), and his latest work Jackself.

His new work explores riddles and cautionary tales through the use of a fictionalised autobiography that leads the reader into a world of innocence and childhood, which is perfectly crafted and wonderful to explore. Jacob Polley manages to explore these themes with such literary elegance and depth of feel that it’s visceral and nuanced in its delivery.

He has recently won the TS Eliot Prize for literature for Jackself. We’d like to congratulate Jacob on this phenomenal achievement.

He now lives and works in Newcastle.

Photograph byMai Lin Li

Editors

Sean Burn: with added nuts ALPHABETTI THEATRE

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ITH ADDED NUTS, a one-man-show penned by self-proclaimed ‘psychiatric survivor’ Sean Burn, offers a witty one-hour performance piece interpretation on the language of sanism, ridiculing societal metaphors and figures of speech through spoken word, audience interaction, and spontaneous artwork.

It all sounds a little ludicrous, but that’s ideal for this subject matter.

At one point, an audience member who’d been called a crackpot was called upon to throw a ceramic plate on the ground. The shattered pieces were given out as gifts to spectators. Another anecdote involved Burn tearing up parts of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, ‘creating’ new mental illnesses by reading out the words left on the ripped pages. It was all rather random, yet simultaneously made so much sense. Bizarre activities like these brought light to the absurdity of how society views mental illnesses.

“With added nuts successfully reclaims the languages of lunacy in increasingly creative and absurdist ways, challenging structural hierarchies and the politics of mental health representation”

I managed to leave with a pill box containing nutshells – a literal nutcase – after competing in which audience members had experienced the most side effects to medication.

This did lead to some confusion of the performer’s overall message. Burn’s playfulness of medical and colloquial psychiatric language, paired with the seemingly random structure of topics and activities, made it uncertain if he was antimedication, or simply anti-intervention altogether.

Having experienced both the anti-depressant and behavioural therapy routes of recovery for my own depression, I find this to be quite problematic.

There is a worryingly increasing tendency amongst mental health communities to outright discourage people from seeking professional help, and though Burn has every right to his own opinions on the subject, it seems unfair to enforce this on others. with added nuts successfully reclaims the languages of lunacy in increasingly creative and absurdist ways, challenging structural hierarchies and the politics of mental health representation. With a better flow and tighter overall message, the show could in future have a lasting impact in national sanism dialogues.

Zoe Godden

IMMORTALITY

The weekly showcase of Newcastle University talent

Helena Buchanan POET On Piss I once saw a child yelling at a goose telling it to piss off. Pissing on a jellyfish sting will stop the pain.

It’s pissing it down.

Public toilets were installed in Amsterdam as so Many fell into the canals while pissing.

The first time I ever pissed in the street I was laughing so hard I almost fell in the pale stream.

It’s surprisingly difficult to avoid pissing yourself on a trampoline.

The World’s tallest Church, Ulm minster, is being eroded as men keep pissing on it.

22. music

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Music Editors: Sophie Ahmed, Serena Bhardwaj & Ben Grundy

Toon In

Don’t want to talk about politics Sam Blackburn disobeys the Korn lyric above, arguing that music and politics can indeed work together - particularly in punk scenes and heavy metal. Do you agree?

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usic and politics, a fine combination really, from the days of Bob Dylan writing anti war songs to when GWAR’s Oderus Urungus endorsed the death of all candidates in the 2012 election, they are two things that go together so well. Many musicians have a political agenda, writing songs about politics and the issues within, although some musicians have been involved in both embarrassing and controversial ways.

I’d like to firstly mention the genre of Punk Rock.

To me, you cannot talk about politics in music without discussing a genre pretty much built around rebellion against the ruling class. The Sex Pistols were one of the first bands to get political, trying to spread Anarchy in the U.K along with telling the Queen where to go, in a surprisingly clever and amusing way. Even better though, punk rock legend and a personal hero of mine, Jello Biafra, the former singer of Dead Kennedy’s has attempted to kickstart a political career multiple times. Biafra, a man known for his outrageously shocking (but brilliant) music has attempted to run for the position as mayor of San Francisco in the late 70s as long as standing as the Green Party Candidate in the 2000 election. Only the American’s could choose Bush over Biafra - shocking. A lot of British Punk was based around politics, but the ideals, attitudes and style of music tend to exist more in the American punk scene, with bands like Bad Religion, Rise Against, Pennywise, NOFX and Anti-Flag being fine examples.

I’d now like to bring up possibly the funniest involvement in politics in music when Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine was the host of MTVs “Rock the Vote” a show designed to encourage the youth of America to vote. Look, I don’t want to laugh at Mustaine too much for this because getting the youth to vote is a very important thing in most

Tom Harrow-Smith reviews Wilkinson at the O2...the gig he never intended to go to

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ands up if you got the alternative American indie band Wilco confused with popular English Drum and Bass DJ Wilkinson? Anyone? Just me then. Yeah so maybe I am not completely down with the kids, having no idea about what or who I had signed up to review. I had fleetingly heard his tracks ‘Afterglow’ and ‘Sweet Lies’, which I found ‘alright’, which is about as much praise as you could hope for from me – probably the least fan of Drum and Bass as it is possible to be (you can see now why I presumed Wilco, not Wilkinson). Wilkinson is currently on tour promoting his second album, Hypnotic, to be released on the 21st April, and played a number of new tracks from it.

“I confused the alternative American indie band Wilco with popular English Drum and Bass DJ Wilkinson” Anyhow, I set off for the O2 with a mixture of trepidation, curiosity and fear: this was my first DJ set/gig/rave/whatever you want to call it in my lifetime, and after this experience, it will probably end up being my last. Outside the venue it suddenly hit me: it was half term, the whole place was packed with teenagers, and me and my girlfriend stood out like a Sunderland fan in St James’ Park, distinguishable quite clearly by our distinct lack of branded clothing, Adidas logos or crop tops. I have never seen anything quite like it. As we queued for a drink a young guy stood in front arguing with the barmaid that the ID he had given her was not a fake. I caught a glimpse of the photo, it depicted a long and dark haired man, whilst the teenager before me was ginger and had the letters ‘S E S H’ shaven into the back of his head. My previous live music experiences of Indie bands had not prepared me for this or what was to come.

countries, so props to him for that. On the other hand though, we’re talking about big bad “I want to be in the most dangerous band of all time” Dave Mustaine, the man who wrote ‘Peace Sells’, it’s just so bizarre to watch. Here’s this arrogant guy who thinks he’s the dogs bollocks going around America selling out, highly recommend giving it a Youtube.

“British Punk was based around politics, but the ideals, attitudes and style of music tend to exist more in the American punk scene” I’ve always really liked Phil Anselmo as a frontman, Pantera are possibly one of my all time favourite bands and it was his aggressive vocals a long with Dimebag Darrell’s shredding what made me fall in love. Phil Anselmo as the person, I’m not sure on that. Although he is a man who has faced a lot of demons in his past, the well documented incident where he shouted “White Power” at 2016’s Dimebash does make you wonder what is really going on in his head. This gained massive attention, with the metal community speaking out both on his behalf and against him. Phil Anselmo has apologised for these claims, but it hasn’t stopped him from getting political. Superjoint’s latest album Caught up in the Gears of Application appears to be a political commentary on the current state of affairs within the United States of America. The song ‘Sociopathic Herd Delusion’ is extremely interesting, as Anselmo has mention in interviews it is a take on the Social Justice Warriors movement which has sprung up online in recent years. An extremely interesting step in the political movement seeing it being represented by a heavy metal legend.

New festival hits the North East Ben Grundy reports on an upcoming event to the Toon named after a song by The Fall

“I cannot lie, this was just not my scene... blinding lights and hypnotising light shows to the relentless ‘music’ being blasted from all corners” Onto the set itself - perched towards the back of the O2 leaning on a railing, too afraid to wade into the throngs of teenagers pulsating below. It was ok, Wilkinson was joined by a drummer and guitarist, with guest vocalists (whose names I could not hear – Emily Reynolds? I think). ‘Sweet Life’ came on as the second song, which meant I had to wait an eternity until I heard a song I liked/knew, which of course was ‘Afterglow’, which I have to admit was pretty good. However, I cannot lie, this was just not my scene, from the blinding and hypnotising light shows to the relentless ‘music’ being blasted from all corners. The only solution was getting quite drunk, something which was a last resort considering the O2’s prices. However, if you are a Wilkinson fan, do not let this review influence you, I know nothing.

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ollowing in the footsteps of city festivals such as ‘Live in Leeds’ and ‘Liverpool Sound City’, Newcastle has been rewarded with its very own ‘Hit the North’ festival later this year. The festival shall take place between Thursday 27th- Saturday 29th April and focuses upon upcoming talent from around the United Kingdom.

Standout names include the likes of Slaves, Lethal Bizzle and Nothing but Thieves yet the real impetus lies not in the bigger names but the sheer volume of names as 65 bands are set to strut their stuff on stage throughout the course of the weekend. This can be nothing but beneficial for the city as locals and students are alike are spoilt for choice with artists available to suit all tastes. The festival also provides local talent with an unprecedented amount of coverage and outreach to share their music with locals and visiting festival-goers alike.

Steve Davis, part of the SSD Concerts who conceptualised ‘Hit The North’, has emphasised how it’s a “festival for the bands of tomorrow”. For instance, the likes of North East newcomers “Fletcher Jack-

son Band” share a platform with up and coming bands such as The Hunna, Honeyblood, Clean Cut Kid, The Pale White, Paris Youth Foundation and many many more. Furthermore, more and more acts are continually being announced so it’s worth keeping an ear out.

“The real impetus lies not in the bigger names but the sheer volume of names as 65 bands are set to strut their stuff on stage throughout the course of the weekend” In addition, not only should the diversity of the artists talking part be noted, so should the number of venues participating too. In total, over the course of the weekend, there are 11 venues hosting acts from the Boilershop to the Cluny which illustrates the unity and universal belief amongst Tyneside venues in the benefits of such a city-wide festival. Thus, it is not only the musicians getting coverage but the venues too as people may be more

tempted to venture having paid for a ticket which covers numerous acts than risk going to see one solitary performer. Never been to Jumping Jacks or Think Tank Underground? When could be a better time? With prices starting at £32, it seems a lot of bang for your buck.

Whilst similarities may be drawn to the 6 music festival at the Sage Gateshead a few years back, Hit The North goes further as it brings in a vaster, wider spectrum of acts to the North East.

For me, Newcastle needs ‘Hit the North’. Due to the city’s slightly isolated location in the north east, artists often shun Newcastle as ‘too far out of the way’ and opt rather for Leeds and Glasgow. Consequently, we, as a student population, can miss out on acts touring the UK and, therefore, any festival providing wider opportunities for quality music of all genres to reach the ears of those on Tyneside Tickets for Hit The North are available from the likes of See Tickets and Songkick.

Get yours before they go.

The Courier

music .23

Monday 20 Febraury 2017

Process

by Sampha E

The release of Sampha’s album Process has been long awaited - as it should be. This album, centred mostly on the grief of losing his mother to cancer, embodies a moving depiction of feelings in the aftermath of loss, projecting the raw sentiments of despair and longing through glossy layers of synthesised sounds and loops integral to Sampha’s method of storytelling.

The album begins with ‘Plastic 100°c’, using a sample of Neil Armstrong’s first step on the moon, Sampha leads the listener towards to the dreamlike space of his album. And with this he introduces us to the traits of Process that simulate a perspective far removed from reality. Interestingly he said of his mother’s loss in an interview, “it’s like a dream you never… it’s never gonna feel real.” And such is the feeling that is produced when the raw and occasionally faltering voice of Sampha is immersed

“Though the withdrawn nature of the tracks make artistic sense of the grief he feels, it regrettably comes at the expense of being forgettable in places.” and, at times, submerged in the mechanical sounds inhabiting almost every song.

The launch of Sampha’s solo career is, in part, due to his collaborations with SBTRKT, seemingly inspiring Process with elements of their techno soul.

While in SBTRKT’s music, Sampha’s voice rests above the beat, gaining himself a spotlight which sheds light on his undoubtedly gifted vocals. This release tends to demonstrate his voice sinking below the various loops and intricate layers of electronica. Songs like ‘Reverse Faults’ and ‘Under’ create an environment in which Sampha’s words feel distant amidst the chaotic presence of synthe-

Fresh Air

HOMESHAKE

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ince splitting from Mac DeMarco’s touring band, Peter Sagar has had little trouble developing a unique style within the ill-defined world of slacker rock. Fresh Air is no exception, expanding on the synth-led, dreamlike sounds of 2015’s Midnight Snack by incorporating a wider array of moods and influences.

This manifests in a surprisingly upbeat manner, with the groove of ‘Every Single Thing’ and the near-danceable ‘Serious’ resembling R&B songs filtered through a haze of cannabis smoke.

The end-of-the-night vibe is undoubtedly still dominant throughout the album, largely down to Sagar’s wistful guitar style and hypnotic, jazzinfluenced chord progressions. Fresh Air is most successful when these are showcased; sombre, stripped back title track ‘Fresh Air’ and the surreal layering and panning of multiple guitar parts in the haunting ‘Getting Down Pt II’ serve as evidence.

Beyond stylistic experimentation, Fresh Air is vocally more confident, with Sagar’s singing generally placed higher in the mix than in previous releases.

This sees mixed results, with the tuneful falsetto of ‘Not U’ on one end of the spectrum and the grating, slightly nasal delivery of ‘Timing’ on the other. However, questionable vocals are certainly the only thing in this album that can be described as “grating”, with the warm-yet-crisp overall production style satisfying to the ears; the guitar and synth textures alone feel almost like a massage of the eardrums.

On the whole, the expansion of the HOMESHAKE sound shows Sagar is moving in the right direction, however Fresh Air suffers some loss of cohesion and consistency as a result. This being said, it won’t stop me from sticking the album on at 4 in the morning, even if it means skipping the odd track.

Charlie Isaac

thecourieronline.co.uk/music c2.music@ncl.ac.uk

Rory Ellis listens in on the debut album from collab veteran Sampha sised noise. A distance that resonates with his experience of loss. Though the withdrawn nature of the tracks make artistic sense of the grief he feels, it regrettably comes at the expense of being forgettable in places.

wake up and the sky’s blood red/ I’m still heavy

“Sampha’s willingness to put his insecurities at the forefront of his first album... treating his loss with sensitivity and grace”

breathing’ set to the rhythm of a distressed pant, puts these anxieties in a palpable atmosphere. This shows Sampha’s willingness to put his insecurities at the forefront of his first album. And though Process sometimes betrays its truthfulness for the stylistic representation of grief, it is a bold album treating his loss with sensitivity and grace.

This is not, however, the case for the entire album, with songs like ‘(No one knows me) Like the Piano’ providing a standout track, which punctures the spaced out texture of the songs preceding it. The simplicity of the piano allows Sampha’s voice to carefully dominate and triumph in the way it did in tracks with titans such as Drake and Frank Ocean. Further still, the occasional fragility of his voice paired with the tender nature of the lyrics provides a necessary human intermission to what is an overwhelmingly slick album.

Similarly ‘Blood on Me’ marks a change in the course of Process, drawing upon the same hypnotic frequency of the album but with an increase of tempo and a forceful beat that takes it up from a dream to a nightmare.

Hearing the lyrics ‘I

“This album is centred mostly on the grief of losing his mother to cancer”

Did you know...?

Drake recently sent Sampha a bottle of wine alongside the message “drink this with some real friends when you’ve finished the album.”

Little Fictions

Kreator

Elbow

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Sam Blackburn

Sarah Stephenson introduces us to Margaret Dygas and previews WHQ’s Horse Meat Disco

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t’s the time of year when festival line-ups start leaking into our social media pages via. fancy digitised posters. Gottwood and Field Day boast Aphex Twin, ABRA, Helena Hauff and DJ Harvey to name a few. They’re the kind of line-ups that make me wonder if 2017 will be the year I break out of the LatitudeGlastonbury Workers Beer volunteer cycle and branch into festivals as an Actual Spectator.

I flick through the the Sonar, Outlook and Dimensions posters too, but a part of me (the dystopia-thirsting part) can’t help but think about how Brexit and article 50 and Theresa May’s tightened borders will tie into all of this.

“The shifting European music community is definitely a symptom of a larger series of changes ”

Gods of Violence

mongst all of the artsy farty indie albums in the new release section of HMV, I came across the most satanically evil album cover of them all. This belonged to the latest release by German Thrash Metal band, Kreator.

The album starts with an epic 1 minute introduction piece called ‘Apocolypticon’, building up the tension with a war drum preparing us for the album. When that piece finishes and you hear the opening riff to ‘World War Now’, that’s the moment when you know that Gods of Violence is going to be a great listen.

From start to finish, I can honestly say that Gods of Violence has been an aggressive sonic assault on the ears. It’s been a great time to be a fan of thrash metal, with all the big four recently releasing a new album, but can I just make note that Gods of Violence trumps all those albums. Sure, Metallica and Megadeth’s latest albums have been alright, they haven’t been amazingly heavy. Gods of Violence on the other hand is an album turned up all the way to eleven. Other than the raw speed of the album, what really stood out to me was the guitar work.

One of my biggest issues with modern music is how generic the guitar work is, or the lack thereof.

There are some fantastic guitar riffs throughout this album a long with an unbelievable guitar solo in ‘Totalitarian Terror’.

Gods of Violence is an album which has made me extremely happy, as it is a reminder that even some of the oldest thrash metal bands can still produce great albums. I must admit, I wasn’t really a massive Kreator fan before I listened to this, but after listening to it on Spotify, I can honestly say that I will be treading through their discography.

Electronic Blanket

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ixteen years since their first album, Elbow’s newest album Little Fictions comes three years after their last, with a far more pronounced theme and a nigh-universal resonance.

Elbow’s predictable style of dramatic rock shifts to hold a more centralised focus – the romantic overtures throughout are clear references to the relationship between frontman Guy Garvey, and author Emma Jane Unsworth. Messing with themes of parenthood, marriage, and even Brexit, the now-fourpiece band still manages to retain an undeniably Mancunian sound. I won’t lie, with an overarching theme of love, the release of this album around Valentine’s Day was well thought-through, I’ll give them that.

Topping the charts in early February, the album might not retain its intricacy, but it still retains its Genesis-esque influences and its progressive style, with grand orchestral sweeps throughout creating their distinctive sound amidst the simplification of their usual tone. A difficult record to listen to, it may seem hard to initially find anything that grabs you at all, however personally I found my footing during the second listen-through. Whilst this allows for a newfound emotional depth, with both ‘Magnificent (She Says)’ and ‘Firebrand & Angel’ both providing such momentum, this comes at a cost – in comparison to their previous records, this one lacks the intricacy, subtlety and stylistic quaity that their work is most known for.

Whilst definitely not their most enjoyable work, I’d argue that this album is still undeniably Elbow, albeit changing their time-tested formula and pushing it towards something that is able to connect with far more of their fanbase. Despite this, it’s not the most replayable album, and despite it taking two playthroughts to connect with, I think it’ll be a while before there’s a third…

Errol Kerr

Festivals in European cities will inevitably become (even more) unaffordable to those coming from the UK, and the thought of having little to no international talent playing at UK venues as a result of some arbitrary law is strange to me. I’m no expert in Brexit-related policy and by no means think festival line-ups changing is the most important thing to worry about right now. But this is a column about electronic music, and the shifting European music community is definitely a symptom of a larger series of changes that will come once the UK becomes an island floating apart from everything else.

You need to listen to: Invisible Circles by Margaret Dygas Re-released in 2013 by Perlon records, Margaret Dygas’s EP Invisible Circles is thick with reverb coated samples, steady heart-like beats and a general sense of doom. ‘Frankly’ begins with a distant sax that sustains over layers of hi-hat and fleeting kick drums. A bicycle bell pierces the atmosphere and leads into a bassheavy groove. Recurring guitar chords shimmer, indicating a hook – the sound makes me think of Funkadelic’s Maggot Brain album for some reason. It’s when the acoustic bongo is introduced though, palm-slap unfiltered, that the track goes from conventional techno to something more experimental. These undulations both complicate and sustain the rhythm, but before you get a chance to make sense of what you’ve been listening to, it fades out as gently as it began.

‘Invisible Circles’ is a continuation in a lot of ways. Barely-there vocal samples pan in, leaving a trail of delay; the on-going beat a lot more varied than ‘Frankly’. I don’t know if it’d work at a club

Preview: Horse Meat Disco - World HQ 17th February or not, but the crowd would definitely be left feeling some type of way. Invisible Circles is an EP that demands something from you: attention, engagement, empathy maybe - I’d need to listen to it a few more times to figure out which.

Horse Meat Disco are a four-man DJ collective who formed in 2003. Since then, they’ve been residents at New York’s Vauxhall, touring festivals and club nights internationally. You’ll usually see them on a festival line-up, their name alone guaranteeing hours of familiar to obscure (but selectively curated) tracks.

I’ve only ever danced to their parties from the drinks-serving side of the bar, but the energy was always palpable enough to leave me with a need to see them from the perspective of the dance floor. It’s kind of a rare thing for a set to speed up your entire shift, but Horse Meat Disco managed to do this with their relentless groove. With 75 tickets being sold on the door, expect a lot of house and disco from the HMD crew alongside SoulJam resident Jack Pearce.

Go follow us on intagram for live gig updates, fun pictures and the latest music gossip@courier_music

24.television

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

TV Editors: Luke Acton, Alison Scurfield and Dominic Corrigan

Throwback

Mid-season hiatus blues

Alex Moore is here to lend you a helping hand and offer some friendly advice on how to cope with your favourite shows taking a break slap bang in the middle of a season’s run

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Jack Taylor takes us to the hights of pubescence with

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Skins

hortly following its 10th Birthday, Skins has recently been the talk of many a recent news website and clickbait provider. Even on All4, its Boxset is currently being advertised all over the website. Although this is supposed to be a throwback, it isn’t for me because I only got into Skins relatively recently, but I’ve had a great experience of it nonetheless.

In case you are one of the very few people who’s never heard of Skins, it follows the sex, drug and spare-time-abusing lives of a group of 16 and 17 year olds in Bristol. Every two seasons there is a completely different story-line and a new group of characters are instead focused on, as the previous group have ‘grown-up’.

“[Cook’s] ultimate act of redemption at the end is borderline Shakespearian in its tragedy”

And what has naturally come with the show changing characters every two seasons, making those two seasons almost an entirely different show, is criticism. The popular opinion is that the ‘generations’ of Skins characters and their plots gets progressively worse, and this seems to be what happens with all things, except when we think about the rare case of Star Wars Episode V being better than IV, which it definitely is.

For me though, it’s difficult to say whether Series 1 and 2 are ultimately better than Series 3 and 4.

Seasons 5 and 6 can probably be fairly unanimously agreed to be the worst, with the odd episode that offered something different to what Series 1, 2, 3 and 4 offered, like that of ‘Rich’, and so metal heads around the country were suddenly feeling more represented. The two parts of Series 3 and 4 that made it better than Series 1 and 2 for me were the ending, which I won’t spoil, and the wonderful character of Cook. As the extremely arrogant anti-hero of the group who is somewhat sociopathic, Cook provides a dynamic that Series 1 and 2 didn’t really offer as much. If someone were to tell you that they didn’t like Cook’s character, they obviously haven’t seen the entire two series and his ultimate act of redemption at the end, is borderline Shakespearian in its tragedy. Having said this, I haven’t seen Jack O’Connell, the actor who played Cook, in very much recently, and I fear he may be cursed with always being seen as Cook and any attempt to try and express his range as an actor may just be criticised.

ime and time again it happens. Every week you nestle into your favourite spot on the sofa, snacks in hand, ready for the latest episode of your favourite show. Over the past weeks this has become a flagstone of your routine, a ritual you keenly await. The episode ends and a dreaded voice breaks the news that you will have to wait three, or four, or six, or (in the case of poor Adventure Time fans) even eight months to find out what happens next. The week ahead seems barren as your routine has been brutally broken apart. You’ve just been hit by a mid-season hiatus…

In this world of online streaming and marathon binge watching whole series on Netflix, it is painful enough to wait seven measly days for your next prime time hit. Throw in some juicy cliff-hangers and the wait is nigh on unbearable as it is (fans of The Walking Dead will know this pain well). So, think of the dread when you must wait months to find out the fate of your most beloved characters.

“Instead of making ridiculously long series which end up being dragged out over half a year, just make two shorter, more satisfying series” We have American TV networks to thank for the arrival of the mid-season hiatus. It may seem like common sense to air a series from start to finish without leaving millions of viewers in suspense for months on end: however, these networks want the highest numbers of viewers watching their most popular shows. More viewers mean more money from advertising, but this pursuit of profit has led to some seemingly nonsensical scheduling.

Take Gotham, which airs on Channel 5 in the UK. In the States, the show is already well into the

second part of its third season, recently returning after a month and a half break. Bewilderingly, the show is soon due to take yet another break until April! Hopefully, UK viewers won’t have to suffer the same when the season finally makes its way to our screens. They say good things come to those who wait, but Gotham better be unbelievable to live up to expectations.

Here’s a crazy idea. Instead of making ridiculously long series which end up being dragged out over half a year, just make two shorter, more satisfying series. Or better yet, just air them the oldfashioned way, week by week. It’s not perfect, but it has been tried and tested for decades and in all that

Trump’s face on the small screen

The President was on WWE; Sam Blackburn takes us through this cruel twist of fate

he would probably have ended him, but instead they both had WWE superstars to represent them in the ring. McMahon had the late Umaga fighting in his corner, whereas Trump opted for former marine and abuser of steroids, Bobby Lashley to fight Umaga to see who is the better billionaire… oh and Stone Cold Steve Austin was the special guest referee. Trump, being the good guy did win the match, then preceding to humiliate McMahon by shaving his hair off. There are plenty of clips of this on YouTube, and I cannot recommend it enough to watch them, a true testament to how good WWE used to be.

“There are plenty of clips of this on YouTube and I cannot recommend it enough to watch them, a true testament to how good WWE used to be”

“With adults portrayed as pretty much evil villains, [Skins takes you back to] the mind set of your 16 year old self ” I’m not sure why I never decided to watch Skins when everyone else was, around the time they were also the same age as the characters in the show, but I’m really glad I have now. It’s very easily accessed on All4, which you don’t even need a TV License for, so I’d suggest at least giving the first Series a watch. It’s had a profound impact on British television and the representation of teen issues in them.

With adults portrayed as pretty much evil villains, go back to the mindset of your 16 year old self and check it out. And even if you’ve already seen it, have yourself a wonderful nostalgic experience.

time it seemed to work out okay.

I can see why they do it. The break gives the networks a chance to dazzle us with spin-offs while we await the passing of the dark months. It lets them excite us with sneak peaks, each advert getting people talking about the programme once again. But instead of hyping up the show to all their friends, the talk will be of how infuriating it is that there are still months to wait for the next installment. I for one would be far more excited if I could just sit down the next week and continue to enjoy my favourite shows.

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o it’s been almost a month now since Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States of America. As the Alt-right rejoice and the Social Justice Warriors whine online over Trump, the world is currently divided on Trump at the moment, making social media a toxic breeding ground of hatful people from both sides a long with making the city centres of multiple places across the world a great place to get a few Instagram likes by sharing a picture of your smug self with a hilariously cringy sign insulting Trump. For those of us who care more

about TV, I think it’s now the perfect time to explore the multiple ventures into TV programmes that Donald Trump has made.

I’d like to start with my all time favourite appearance of Trump in TV. It’s 2007, the deadman, The Undertaker has won the World Wrestling Entertainment Royal Rumble to earn his place in the main event of WresleMania, facing World Heavyweight Champion Batista for the title… but more interestingly, Donald Trump was facing off against Vince McMahon in the battle of the billionaires.

Sadly McMahon didn’t physically fight Trump, as

Apart from Trump’s minor appearance in WWE, he was also the star of the U.S Apprentice. The Apprentice is a great show, especially the U.K version, I mean who doesn’t want to see wannabe business folk try and become the apprentice to Donald Trump himself? If you’re unaware of the shows format, people who probably think they’re smarter than you and me have to do some business related challenge, designed to be hard to see how they cope in that environment. They’re split into two teams and the team who loses has a member fired

by Trump on national TV. It’s a great show, but sadly the formal and serious nature of the show means that Trump cannot be his normal idiotic self. It does say a lot about the American voters that the star of The Apprentice is their president, imagine Sir Alan Sugar being our Prime Minister? No thanks.

The Courier

television.25

Monday 20 February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/tv c2.tv@ncl.ac.uk | @courier_tv

Review

All of the core characters (noticeably barring PB and Marceline) get a lot of character development.

One of the biggest introductions is Susan Strong finally getting her backstory. A part of the A Brave New World/The Island-esque future human society made by ‘The Founders’, she’s found to be one of their enforcers.

“Finn’s journey is framed by journeys into unknown waters, one from Oo, one to”

Adventure Time Online

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he final season of Adventure Time is here and boy, is it beautiful. It has been full of emotional through-lines, not least James Baxter (or Games Bookstore?) discovering dancing for himself.

But the Islands miniseries is defined by them.

It begins and ends with shots into the unknown oceans of Oo, something that Finn used to be petrified of. The growth of the characters has pretty much fulfilled the promise of the world that has been presented since 2007. The feelings at the end show that despite this being the last run, the land of Oo is going to be open to expansion in speculation and fan-fiction for some time.

Although the early episodes have some one-off plots and characters, most are focused on Finn’s goal of finding the last place of the humans. This is the second go Adventure Time’s had at a miniseries

since the Marceline-focused Stakes in 2015, but it doesn’t fall into the pitfalls of formulaic storytelling that let that one down so badly. What was sad about the first go was that the character and story was there but it was uncharacteristically predictable, it felt very un-Adventure Time in that respect.

Islands manages expectations well.

“The feelings at the end of the show that despite this being the last run, the land of Oo is going to be open to expansion in speculation and fan-fiction for some time”

The new titles and polaroid title-cards keep it rooted in the format of the rest of the series that is loved so much but it gives it a kind of pseudonostalgia for thing that haven’t happened yet that cements the gravity of the plot points in terms of their effect on how we’re going to see the characters for the rest of the series (and when it is religiously re-watched far into the future).

The switching from flashback to present is useful and depressing in seeing the consequences of Susan’s actions on her best friend, a ‘hider’ (someone who wants to leave the island). Finn’s dad, also gets some redemption along with everyone else’s growth. He gets to not always be a deadbeat dad, and turns out that he was actually a pretty good one. The tragedy of what happens to him, being chased by people from his former con-man life, makes his condition later in the series and what he does to Finn even sadder. For Susan and the present and Martin in the past they both get redemption, something that so-well compliments Finn’s journey and its discoveries.

“The sunset ocean that epitomises what Adventure Time has always been about: growing into emotional maturity through fun, weird and scary adventures”

Finn’s journey is framed by journeys into unknown waters, one from Oo, one to. He looks for the humans and finds them and in that he finds a past for himself and the people who are responsible for his existence. They don’t define him, but he has a better knowledge of himself. The sunset ocean that the series finishes on and the tear that he shows in the end while he hugs his mother, epitomises what Adventure Time has always been about: growing into emotional maturity through fun, weird and scary adventures.

Luke Acton

Let’s get quizical, quizical

Chloe Barker give us a breakdown of the best quiz and game shows currently airing on TV

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ay time TV is the home to a plethora of weird and wonderful quiz shows. Whether you prefer The Chase, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, or Eggheads, it is without doubt that TV quiz shows are a genre that is utterly adored.

Here is my overview of the best quiz shows on TV. The first quiz show that has to be mentioned here is The Chase. The Chase is a cut above the rest.

Bradley Walsh hosts as four contestants compete against a professional quizzer, the Chaser, in order to win a shared cash prize. I will never tire of hearing sass from Mark “The Beast” Labbett and who can forget Bradley Walsh laughing hysterically at the name “Fanny Chmelar”? Seriously, what did we do to deserve Bradley Walsh? The Chase airs at an optimum time; at 5pm on ITV (or 6pm on ITV+1), which allows everyone, me included, to enjoy a meal in the company of Bradley and the gang. The simple format and fast-paced questions, coupled with the wit of the chasers and Walsh’s charm, is what makes The Chase one of the best quiz shows on TV.

“The simple format and fast-paced questions, coupled with the wit of the chasers and Walsh’s charm, is what makes The Chase one of the best quiz shows on TV”

First aired in 1962, University Challenge still remains one of BBC Two’s highest rated shows. Four members from a single university form one team and compete against four members from a different university. Providing us with some of the most memorable TV quiz show moments, like the contestant who said “hapax legomenon” (if you haven’t

seen this, YouTube it), University Challenge brings joy into our hearts, while also being completely awe-inspiring. Not only is this quiz show entertaining, but it is actually really impressive. For most of us, answering just one question right is cause for celebration, and if you answer more than one, you can legitimately call yourself an intellectual titan. It baffles me that these students can often get five or six questions correct in a row.

“I have never heard of Pointless being described as ‘alright’; it’s either the best show you have ever watched, or it’s the worst quiz show on TV” You either love or hate Pointless.

There is no in-between. I have never heard of Pointless being described as “alright”; it’s either the best show you have ever watched, or it’s the worst quiz show on TV. Hosted by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osmond, Pointless contestants, in teams of two, have to find the correct and most obscure answer to general knowledge questions.

The originality of Pointless is perhaps what makes attitudes towards the show so polarized. It is unique in comparison to all other TV quiz shows. Finding the least common answer may well appear, to some, to be... well, pointless, but the uniqueness of the show, alongside the awkward banter between the hosts is both completely adorable and

strangely enticing. The Telegraph said that Pointless was “accessibly mainstream but smartly highbrow at the same time”.

These have been a few of what I consider the best quiz shows on TV. We all need a good quiz show every now and then; and with shows like The Chase, University Challenge and Pointless, we are well set to have our general knowledge thoroughly tested.

Manage Your Speculations

Greg Rosenvinge on

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Stranger Things

tranger Things was undoubtedly the TV hit of last summer, harking back to 1980s horror and escapist cinema, whilst also attracting a whole new generation regardless of its numerous homages to films like E.T. and Alien.

Naturally, after such an intense fanfare from the first season, the announcement of a second season was feverishly celebrated, and speculation ensued. Let’s have a look at a few of the facts and rumours: Firstly, Eleven is alive! Despite seeming to have met her doom with the monster from the Upside Down, it is unsurprising that one of the one showrunners Matt Duffer has confirmed Eleven will return for season 2, and much of the season will cover her backstory prior to the first season. This news will have no doubt pleased fans, even if it was somewhat expected. It’ll be exciting to see how that pans out.

“The tragedy of Barb during season one meant she became a surprising fan favourite”

Secondly, did Will open a portal for the monsters from the Upside Down to come through? In the final moment of the season one finale, Will did retch up in a public toilet a remnant of the Upside Down, and as the only character to have had prolonged exposure to the Upside Down, could he have been infected? The teaser trailer aired during the Super Bowl showed Will watching over a red-inflamed sky with an Upside Down monster cast within it, however, a trailer did also show Will in hospital and the Duffer brothers have confirmed the season will deal with Will’s psychological hang-ups from his season one ordeal, so could this just be evidence of that?

And of course, what about Barb? The tragedy of Barb during season one meant she became a surprising fan favourite, who, despite staying true to herself, not submitting to peer pressure and being a caring friend to Nancy, was cruelly shunned and forgotten about by practically everyone in the show! There is a fan theory of her returning from the Upside Down as a monster to exact revenge on everyone who mistreated her. Whilst this has left fans pining for #JusticeforBarb, it doesn’t seem very Barb-like to be vengeful, so I doubt it, but it would be cool. Nothing has been said of Barb by the Duffer brothers regarding season two, at least not to the same extent they made a point of making in reassuring viewers that Eleven will be back, and so maybe it is safe to assume season one will be the last we see of Barb...

“Much of the speculation has been influenced by that very short teaser trailer aired during the Super Bowl”

Ultimately, season 2 does not air until 31st October, and what a Halloween treat that will be, but it’s also a long long time away. Much of the speculation has been influenced by that very short teaser trailer aired during the Super Bowl that only hinted at possible events to take place, or we could have completely misinterpreted these references- who knows! But the excitement around what is next in store for Will, Dustin, Mike, Lucas and probably Eleven is definitely palpable. Let’s hope it lives up to the standards we relished from season 1.

26.filmfeatures

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Film Editors: Emma Allsopp, Zoë Godden & Simon Ramshaw

Touchdown for movie trailers

America’s biggest sporting event may bore most, but for us film fanatics, it offers sneak peaks galore. Katie Sharpe takes one for the team to review this year’s Super Bowl trailers

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Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) In our brand new column, our writers bust out some sick literary moves to fight for sequels they think are better than the original. This week, Errol Kerr stays up past midnight to argue that these iconic 80s critters’ second outing was superior

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fter the horrific events of last year, my perspective has truly changed, and I had a bit of a faith crisis. With my faith in cinema shaken, I came to an unexpected – and at first, shocking – conclusion: Gremlins 2: The New Batch is better than the OG Gremlins.

Okay, right, no, keep reading. I know this is sacrilege. And/or blasphemy. But bear with me, this is only a decision I made over Christmas – and I’m 100% sure I can persuade you that this is the case. If you’d thought Gizmo’s awful habit of replicating into hundreds of evil gremlins did enough damage to a small town, imagine the damage they could do to a skyscraper. You’re welcome. I should mention that John Glover’s character, the eccentric and slightly daft billionaire Daniel Clamp, was designed as a parody of Donald Trump in the 1990s.

It’s almost shocking to think that Trump has literally outdone any feasible parody of himself, but he sure as hell has. Mind you, due to 2016 occurring we’re able to look at this film through the lens of the Trumpocalypse, and this parody of a parody of a disaster movie becomes absolute bloody gold.

ABSOLUTE GOLD, I TELL YOU. Clamp is eccentric but (mostly) a man who means well, however leads his enterprise – and the entirety of Clamp Tower- the kidnapping of Gizmo by the Clamp business. With control over his business network, a widespread cable network as well as being a centralised tourist attraction, herein lies a business organisation in control of multiple aspects of life.

Sounding familiar? (too soon?)

In the first film, Gizmo’s development from a singular animatronic ball of fluff into a multitude of violent animatronic monstrosities is simply via accident. In The New Batch, the story is far more believable (I can’t believe I’m calling it believable, but hang on) as it is the head of Clamp’s “Splice of Life” lab, Dr. Catheter, who is responsible for the invasion of the disaster-causing gremlins. I mean, considering he had intended on dissecting the poor Mogwai, it reads far more into western human industrialism and its attempt to harness powers beyond their control than the first film. This, mind, could be reading too far into animatronics blowing stuff up, but I’m an English Lit graduate, this kind of stuff is what I do. Oh, did I mention Dr. Catheter is played by Sir Christopher Lee, and there are a good couple of references to the Hammer horror films for which he is famed for in his younger years, seeing Lee in a comedic role is a must-see.

Whilst it may not have the stability of the previous film, it’s remarkable that it is this chaos that makes this film shine. It’s a parody beyond words of the disaster genre, and watching the corridors of the clamp centre overrun by escaping people and angry gremlins is – actually – a far more relatable parody of the disaster genre than the first film – and I never thought I would ever say that. 2016 really changed things up, eh?

o, it’s come to that time of the year where millions of Americans actually look forward to watching the adverts – and we Brits await patiently for said adverts to be uploaded to the internet. Over the last 20 years, the Super Bowl has become the perfect springboard for summer blockbusters on both sides of the pond. But at an eye-watering $10 million a minute, you can’t help but sense the immense pressure this year’s trailers were under to knock it out the park (wrong sport I know, but I couldn’t resist).

The big question is, were any of them worth it?

Arguably the best trailer of the night wasn’t even for a movie: looking at you Stranger Things...

Starting things off, we have Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. You might be wondering: how does Marvel market this beyond the occasional shot of Baby Groot? With a trailer-turned-roll-call of everyone’s favourite interplanetary team of heroes, reminding us that “There’s no I in team”, that’s how.

Revealing little of the plot, the latest trailer teases much of what made 2014’s first outing a success, and more. In a characteristically different superhero flick, we could finally have the Wolverine movie we’ve long waited for in Logan. The big game’s spot seems at first to be a lazy rehash of previous trailers, yet it works well. Why? It promises blood, and lots of it, seemingly running off the coat-tails of 2016’s unashamedly bloody Deadpool (though with brooding shots of Jackman replacing the sex jokes).

Following on the sequel train is The Fate of the Furious, AKA F8 (see what they did there?). With more gratuitous gear shifts than scantily clad women, Universal’s next outing in the petroleumfuelled money-maker looks to be more of what’s made the franchise a commercial success. Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

follows the trend of sequels that no one was asking for, and its trailer is fittingly forgettable. And that brings us to Transformers: The Last Knight, which let’s be honest, the less that’s said about this the better. The latest in Hasbro’s toy-turned-cartoonturned-movie franchise promises a mind-numbing symphony of choreographed robotic nonsense. But hey, at least it looks pretty, right?

“Logan’s big game spot seems at first to be a lazy rehash of previous trailers” In contrast, with A Cure for Wellness’ Super Bowl trailer starting more like a traditional American ad (though don’t be fooled by the initial cosiness), it teases a fresh spin on the psychological horror trope. With beautifully unsettling visuals and a promising plot to boot, Verbinski’s latest could be a contender for horror of the year. Elsewhere, Skydance’s Life at least tries to generate interest in another of the y e a r ’s h o r r o r offerings, but as soon as the trailer’s over, it’s already

been forgotten. Try for less generic trailer clichés in 2018, Skydance: just because it’s generic horror, it doesn’t have to be marketed as such.

And finally, to Ghost in the Shell. For a film shrouded in racial controversy (you don’t have to whitewash movies to grab our attention Hollywood), the trailer does at least try to distract us by showing off a virtually naked Scarlet Johannson breaking through glass in slow-motion.

Eye-catching? Yes. Controversy-quashing? Not quite.

Perhaps, it speaks volumes that conversation centres on what wasn’t advertised, with many disappointed by no tease of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Hopefully next year, Hollywood can learn the expensive lessons of this year’s generic and forgettable offerings.

The remakes, not the American remakes With German comedy Toni Erdmann already penned for a big budget remake, Joe Holloran examines Hollywood’s historic obsession with retelling foreign language films

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ollywood has since its birth taken to remaking, reimagining, ripping-off, whatever you want to call it, foreign films.

The first major offender being ironically called The First Offence (1936) which was a remake of a French film called Mauvaise Graine made only two years earlier. With the recently announced US remake of the 2016 acclaimed German comedy (yes, acclaimed German comedy, not a phrase you hear often) Toni Erdmann staring Jack Nicholson and Kristen Wiig already facing preproduction problems, now seems the opportune moment to examine what (if anything) can be said to guarantee a successful remake, and what gaping pits to avoid falling into.

There are a select few examples of foreign films being improved by the Hollywood system. Back in the 90’s Monty Python’s Terry Gillian reimagined the 1962 French short Le Jetee as 12 Monkey (1995), a surreal sci-fi comedy starring Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis. Martin Scorsese took the Hong Kong gangster film Internal Affairs (2002), a fine film and remade it within the American gangster genre conventions as the multiple Oscar-winning The Departed (2006). While most Hollywood remakes simply attempt to replicate exactly that which made the original great, it does occasionally take the risk of adapting and transforming a large theme into a more westerly-accessible film, as happened when Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece Seven Samurai was reimagined in a US setting as The Magnificent Seven by John Sturges in 1960.

“Hollywood will always put the interests of marketability ahead of considerations of cultural difference and originality” Hope for the future of the remake may lie with the horror genre which is more of a mixed bag.

Some of the worst movies ever to infect our mind are Hollywood horror remakes. Take The Wicker

Man, for instance. The original 1973 UK version by writer/director Robin Hardy, played upon the deeply seated suspicions and fears of the wider largely Christian British public through the avatar of Sgt. Howie, portrayed excellently by Edward Woodward. Now contrast this with the 2006 remake starring Nicolas Cage, which fails utterly on every level. The reasons for this (apart from “The bees, not the bees!”) are many. Poor direction and poor acting play a role. But the main problem is simply because it does not bring anything new to the table, there is simply no need to remake a classic that is so of its time. The producers made the film on the hope that despite its clear lack of quality the name recognition would be enough to put ‘bums on seats’. This cynical approach thankfully failed and the film was a critical and box-office flop.

“There is simply no need to remake a classic that is so of its time” In 2010, Cloverfield director Matt Reeves took a risk on his growing reputation, when he agreed to remake the highly acclaimed Swedish teen-horror Let The Right One In (2008). His adaption, Let Me In,, is the clearest example of the exception that proves the rule, because not only does Let Me In do justice to the original, it surpasses it thanks to small but significant changes in plot pacing and editing and the magnificent fragile chemistry of the films leads Chloe Grace-Mortez and Kodi Smit-McPhee.

Reeves could have ‘Americanised’ the film by making it match up with the hugely financial successful (but shallow) Twilight franchise, instead he stayed true to the ‘feel’ of the original and in the process improved upon it.

So, will the Toni Erdmann remake live up to the original? I hope so for the sake of the two highly talented leads, but I fear not due

to the quick dissociation by those involved in the original, whom jumped ship almost immediately.

It seems Hollywood can, in the right hands and for the right reasons, do justice to a foreign film.

However, Hollywood is an industry of profit first and will therefore always follow proven successes and put the interests of marketability ahead of considerations of cultural difference and originality.

The Courier

reviewsfilm.27

Monday 20 February 2017

thecourieronline.co.uk/film c2.film@ncl.ac.uk | @Courier_Film

Fifty Shades Darker (18)

Golden Oldies Presents...

Sofia Coppola’s

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p there with writing my personal statement and having my wisdom teeth out, I expected Fifty Shades Darker to be one of the most explosively shit experiences of my life. Admittedly, I was proved wrong. The film is surprisingly funny, but for all the wrong reasons.

However, it was also a disconcerting sexualisation of patriarchy.

The character of Anna was painful to watch.

Along with her awful breathy speech (drinking game: shot every time she lets out a classic hopeless breathy ‘uh’), she was a mahoossive pushover.

Repeatedly, Grey acts out in a controlling manner, such as buying the company Anna works for and giving her $24,000 - an event which occurred after the two had sex, and has connotations of prostitution. Her response to all these moments seems to be 30 seconds of meek complaining followed by sex. Sex was used as a tool to silence Anna. On the rare occasions when she did attempt to stand up for herself, she would proceed to instantly melt into a babbling mess the moment Grey touched her. This sent an awful message to the audience, both that sex can be used as a tool against others, and that women are helpless at the hands of men.

I can see how Mr. Grey can be perceived as not particularly controlling. He was never an overtly forceful character, and his dominance was far more prevalent in his words than his actions. It was hard not to notice the dominating nature of his lan-

guage. For example, when someone proposes it is custom to say the classic ‘Will you marry me?’. But Christian Grey chose the ever-romantic ‘Be mine’.

The use of ‘Be mine’, ‘You’re mine’ etc. were a constant throughout the film, and resulted in the depiction of Anna as a commodity.

If someone asked me what actually happened in the film, I’d have to hold my hands up and say I didn’t really know. The film’s driving force was solely its sex scenes. All the other hilariously overdramatic elements of the narrative such as a helicopter crash and Anna’s gun-wielding mentally unstable stalker were so secondary. These moments were brushed over in less than five minutes which just made them amusingly confusing. None of the moments were ever truly explained and I felt like I just spent two hours sat watching a random mish-mash of totally unrelated extreme events interspersed with cheesy awkward sex scenes.

I looked for a feminist message within the film and found none. I am an avid fan of the author An-

gela Carter who explored BDSM and wrote about it critically from a feminist perspective, which I respect, even though I do not always agree. It is not the idea of BDSM altogether that I found mostly objectionable. What I am against is the way Anna’s complicity in the whole situation is masked as defiance. She supposedly stands up for herself, but ultimately morphs herself into the person Grey wants her to be. On the rare occasions she doesn’t do this, her incapability of being as submissive as he wants her to be is supposedly admirable. As though most women wouldn’t be able to defy a man!

Ultimately, the film was poorly made, cheesy and nonsensical. If you do see it, you’ll definitely find some laughs in it. However, you’re also in for a nice lil’ slice of corrosive patriarchy: you have been warned.

Rings (15)

The Lego Batman Movie (U)

Toni Erdmann (15)

ings is nothing short of spectacular. It’s not often that so many people work together to transform a lauded horror movie franchise into the comedy event of the year.

The premise of the Ring movies seems like a natural fit for the modern world of social media. A vengeful ghost that kills you seven days after you see a video: upload that thing to YouTube or make it Snapchattable and you have a spree of teen murders and a fascinating plot. But Rings decides that it’d rather be a hackneyed, predictable and laughable creepy village story than anything remotely original or genuinely chilling.

From the first scene to the last second, Rings spares no contrivance or horror cliché to attempt to convince you that the stakes have never been higher. ‘Hyping’ you up with a ridiculous plane crash sequence reminiscent of the infamous Sharknado, the plot jumps through hoop after hoop to ensure the cast of forgettable, wooden actors – except for The Big Bang Theory’s Howard, who inexplicably plays a shady university lecturer – make it to the end of the lumpy plot alive. New, convenient and contradictory revelations about the nature of Samara are only pulled out as the plot demands them, and with them any tension vanishes. It’s hard to feel any investment or fear at all when the film is bending over backwards to ensure its blundering idiot protagonists survive.

That’s not to say that the film isn’t entertaining.

Between laughable jump scares – the most scary thing in the film is a dog – a failure to understand basic logic – there are ‘gaps in the data’ that reveal a secret, second video inside the first – and absolutely ludicrous product placement, Rings left me howling with laughter throughout.

As a horror movie it fails utterly and spectacularly, but if terrible films are your kind of thing and you’re done with thinking for the day, it’s worth a watch. Just make sure you don’t sit near anybody else in the cinema.

eeing the World’s Greatest Detective beatbox isn’t something most comic fans tend to envisage. Yet somehow, The Lego Batman Movie does this and not only makes it funny, but perhaps even one of the best portrayals of the character in years.

A pseudo-successor to 2014’s hit based on the true enemy of all bare feet, Lego Batman follows Bruce Wayne in his brooding caped quests in protecting Gotham City. Much like in The Lego Movie, this Batman is childish and a show-off, always seeking validation from the citizens he protects. It should be annoying, but instead acts as a foil to the oversaturation of dark adult variations of the character audiences have grown numb to.

Lego Batman differs to its plastic predecessor in that it rarely references its titular toy brand. Instead, we’re treated with Easter eggs and cameos galore pertaining to the Batman mythos, from the comic books to the cartoons and more. The writers are evidently huge fans of the character and this knowledge makes up the majority of the film’s best humour, with jokes literally covering decades of Batman portrayals.

Don’t worry if your superhero bookshelf is bare; jokes come at you so fast that if you don’t get one reference, you’re bound to burst into hysterics at the next. The opening ten minutes alone left the screening I attended cackling like we’d been Joker-gassed. Though this humour is appreciated, the majority of gags will fly over younger viewers’ heads, ironically forgetting about the film’s target audience. Thankfully they’ll be entertained by the stunningly hyperactive animation, and upbeat pop songs that “make studio executives less nervous.”

Pair these with a moral on the importance of kinship, and Lego Batman builds an ideal foundation for children’s superhero films to come.

Outrageously funny with an original plot and stellar voice talent, The Lego Batman Movie revitalises the Nolanverse norm through its fourthwall building block genius.

More like this: The Lego Movie (2014)

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More like this: The Grudge (2004) Alex Ridley

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Zoë Godden

More like this: Twilight (2008) Carys Rose Thomas

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oni Erdmann is a heartfelt German comedy- a most baffling paradox, something, indeed, I had been taught to believe didn’t exist. How wrong I was. Watching this film was a reminder of what stereotypes are: generalisations based on prejudice, bullshit we should never believe. If anyone ever tries to tell me that Germans aren’t funny, I will direct them to this film.

The story focuses on a highly-driven business woman and her father, whose main function in life appears to be playing often long-winded and inappropriate practical jokes. A set of false teeth live in his shirt pocket ensuring that he is ever prepared for a small joke, whether to be played on his increasingly frustrated daughter, or confused passers by. His aim doesn’t seem to be that his jokes are understood or found funny, or even noticed by anyone else. His jokes are merely for himself.

Here we find the deeper questions of the film: why do we bother doing what we do, what is the purpose of our lives, what makes us keep going each day, what makes it worth it? To our protagonist, it seems his daughter’s life is sorely lacking, in joy and thus in his eyes in meaning. The daughter does not seem to deny this, nor does she appear to care.

We watch the pair’s relationship rise and fall as they come to understand each other and, by consequence, themselves. Though a sense of death permeates the film, with an ailing dog and a heart monitor as frequent references throughout, its outlook is not bleak. Instead, it compels you too to discover what you want from life, not to panic before you do, but try to enjoy each day while you search.

It was a bit too long, though this was necessary for the subtlety of the humour to be allowed time to develop and increase its impact. I just wasn’t expecting it, but I’ve told you now so you’ve no excuse.

More like this: A Man Called Ove (2015) Helena Buchanan

Lost in Translation During Tyneside Cinema’s ‘Chance Encounters: A Short Season of Bittersweet Romances’ the timeless film Lost in Translation was shown. We sent Greg Rosenvigne to check it out

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yneside Cinema is currently running ‘Chance Encounters: A Short Season of Bittersweet Romances’ and I was sent to see the second film in this series: Lost in Translation. This was my second time watching Lost in Translation and, despite some technical hiccups with the audio at the beginning, it was a really rewarding experience to re-watch the film in 35mm format.

A film about loneliness and emotions being, uh, ‘lost in translation’, the film spans only a few days, without much of a plot other than two people having a brief romantic connection borne of mutual discontent with their own lives, and for familiar homely comfort within the entirely different culture of Tokyo life. The film is far from all doom and gloom though as there are still many sweet and funny moments throughout, living up to the bill of ‘bittersweet’ that Tyneside Cinema promised.

In 35mm, the night shots traversing across the towering lights of the Tokyo skyline were particularly noticeable in a more dreamy and alienating aesthetic, and the candid shots of Bill Murray’s character drinking in a low-lit hotel bar, his face only faintly spotlighted by a table lamp, looked more in place within a 1950s Hollywood piece than it did the early 2000s. These examples and more really did heighten the intimacy and containment of emotion prevalent throughout the film, and served as an elevating role to the chemistry between Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray’s lead characters.

But besides the experience of 35mm projection, Lost in Translation is truly a great film for anyone watching it at home. Its many moments of lighthearted comedy is unsurprising given male lead and usual comedian Bill Murray’s role, but his performance also exhibited a careful balance between emotional reservation and impulse, highlighting the character’s dilemma throughout the film as to whether his life of 25 years being married and having children is worth putting at risk for a moment of revitalisation.

By comparison, Scarlett Johansson’s character is at the infancy of her marriage, using Bill Murray’s character to great effect by using him as an example as to whether lifelong monogamy is worthwhile. Some of the most affecting scenes are those of her just sitting idly in her room, looking out to the city of people she doesn’t know or can really talk to.

Overall, Sofia Coppola’s second directorial effort is a testament to the fleetingness of human moments, one that says there is nothing wrong with the temporary. Some may disagree with this post-romantic vibe, but the soul of the film is just undeniable.

28.gaming

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Gaming Editors: Jordan Oloman, Errol Kerr and Jared Moore

Oculus Rift vs.

ZeniMax Michael Hicks bunnyhops his way around gaming’s biggest lawsuit

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t the start of the month, ZeniMax, owner of game studios Bethesda and id Software, was awarded a staggering $500 million as the long-fought legal battle between it and Oculus Rift-manufacturers Oculus VR, and their parent company Facebook, finally came to a close.

The vicious battle between the two titans of the tech world centred around several issues: copyright infringement, misappropation of trade secrets, a breach of a non-disclosure agreement and a host of other issues which pointed to Oculus being an unfair competitor. Oculus was found guilty of four of the seven accounts they had been charged with.

The story began when legendary developer John Carmack (the creator of Doom) joined Oculus in 2014. Carmark began promoting the then-fledgling VR headset by pledging that the remaster of Doom 3 would support VR. The basis of ZeniMax’s infringement claims were that this promotion occurred without permission from ZeniMax (the owners of developer id Software and the Doom series). In addition to this, ZeniMax also claimed that the Oculus Rift lacked several key features, such as a head mount and motion sensors, prior to Carmack’s involvement with Oculus in 2012. ZeniMax claimed that Carmack took with him valuable trade secrets with him to Oculus, and utilised those in the development of the Rift. According to ZeniMax, Oculus founder Palmer Luckey acknowledged in writing that ZeniMax was the owner of an experimental VR headset in development in early 2012, and also all rights to Doom; a claim that brought the legitimacy and honesty of Carmack’s contributions to the Rift into question. Oculus, according to ZeniMax, had stolen millions of dollars of trade secrets and staff, and had made away with billions.

Review:

Jordan Oloman finds tiny little dudes hiding in the brush in this adorable indie gem

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ames are rarely wholesome. Often there’s some nefarious angle. A cosmic warlord coming to smite the planet. Some evil dude decided it would be cool to try and open the floodgates to hell. You catch my drift.

Hidden Folks is so far removed from that and its remarkably satisfying. If you ever had a Where’s Wally? book as a kid you’ll be familiar with the gameplay. This little indie gem drops you into a number of highly detailed environments and simply asks you to find the ‘hidden folks’.

The game allows you to explore 15 beautifully hand drawn areas, finding over 120 targets. The environments are cute and tons of fun, ranging from bustling cities to dense jungles, consistently unique and engaging. Hidden Folks is a great respite from other, more intensive games that require dedication and fast reflexes.

The game is a collaboration between game designer Adriaan de Jongh and illustrator Sylvain Tegroeg, and the small group of people behind its

inception just packs on the charm. The animations are all fun to discover and play around with, and despite being completely devoid of colour, it radiates life in a really charming way.

Hidden Folks presents you with a number of interesting characters to find in each level, with a few hints used to tease their location at the bottom.

The game is also releasing on mobile devices, which makes sense with its gameplay. You have to find a number of the characters before you can progress to the next level, with the difficulty increasing as you go on, with increasingly dense environments and trickier to spot ‘folks’.

I started playing Hidden Folks in small pockets.

I’d complete a level whilst listening to a podcast, or take a quick break after playing a few hours of Grand Theft Auto, and it bowled me over with how soothing and relaxing it can be. The sense of otherness it provides from the rest of my Steam library was something that I really enjoyed.

Eventually, I wasn’t loading up my AAA titles; I

was pining to explore these small, intricate worlds for an hour or two.

The sound is also all man-made, and whilst it was a bit loud at first, as long as you don’t have an itchy clicker-finger it shouldn’t grate on you.

From cheeky monkeys to earnest explorers, the little groans of the characters are a delight, and the latent soundtrack gives each environment a cute, lo-fi atmosphere.

Overall, Hidden Folks gave me a very similar feeling to when I first played Double Fine’s ‘Stacking’. It was a simple, light-hearted puzzle game that is as cute as it is funny. If you’re looking for a Where’s Wally nostalgia kick, or just something to escape in to when you want to relax, you’d struggle to find a more relaxing game than Hidden Folks. The developers have made it clear that you don’t need a big team or a ton of features to make an enticing, enjoyable game that will keep your attention for hours on end.

Image Credit: 2K Press Hub

Battlefront 2: Theorycraft

“Oculus, according to Jacob Clarke discusses whether or not EA are the developers Battlefront is looking for ZeniMax, had stolen millions he announcement of a new Battlefront This tells us that the mechanic of the game will the prequels (who doesn’t miss jet pack troopers game before EA’s 2015 release was as likely be similar due to the very short time frame and playing as a Droideka?). of dollars of trade secrets and sought after as a new Half-Life game for between the two games.

We might hope for iconic locations like Naboo staff, and had made away with many nostalgic gamers, hoping to get their hands However, it’s not the gameplay that needs and Coruscant, places that the new engines and onto an immersive next-gen Star Wars shooter. changing, so EA dropped the bombshell we graphical brilliance of this generation are suited billions” To some extent EA delivered on their multi game all wanted with 2015’s reboot. A single player to. Then there’s obviously all the things we expect

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According to Oculus, the key elements of the Rift headset were well in place before any possible involvement with ZeniMax, supported by photos taken in 2010 of a college-age Luckey and the first prototypes of the headset. They also state that Carmack’s involvement was a hell of a lot more minimal then ZeniMax were claiming; that the NDA signed had never been finalised, that their use of Doom 3 footage fell under fair use, and that the company stayed on friendly, talking terms with ZeniMax throughout development of the Rift; only hearing of any potential legal issues in 2014, after being purchased by Facebook for $3 billion.

Oculus’ version of the story wasn’t so convincing to the jury, and demoing a unit at E3 found in in breach of his non-disclosure and was punished to the tune of $200 million. While this seems like a huge amount, it is important to note that ZeniMax was initially seeking reparations to the tune of $2–4 bilion. Oculus were only found guilty of specific breaches of contracts between the two companies, and not guilty of piracy of software that built an entire industry. Carmack later stated that ZeniMax claimed that Carmack had literally copied code, and had hired computer science academics to explain complex technological issues to the jury in a way that would benefit ZeniMax’s case.

The jury found that a few lines of code had been copied and that ZeniMax’s copyrights had been infringed, but they declared that ZeniMax’s trade secrets had not only been upheld, but weren’t actually that secret in the first place, due to the number of companies working on similar headsets during the same period of time. While Oculus could have stood to lose far more than they did; whether companies choose to take this as a company losing $500 million due to VR, the result of this suit could potentially jeopardise the whole VR industry, with companies unwilling to invest in VR for fear of a fiasco similar to this one.

deal with Lucasarts. The new Battlefront looked beautiful, played extremely smoothly and was simple enough to get stuck into, well for about an hour. What EA disappointed us with was the fact that the game was very repetitive.

Once you had played a few matches online it was time to stop playing; there’s only a few times you can kill some rebel scum without it getting samey.

Obviously, this is in addition to EA’s incessant nagging for us to buy post game DLC that isn’t worth its £15 price tags for a few maps, though this is something I doubt we can expect to change.

However, on the 31st of January, EA announced in an earnings report news that there would be a sequel to the 2015 game to release later this year.

campaign. Noting that one of the most complained about areas of the game was its simplicity, EA has responded by uncharacteristically offering players something that they have asked for.

This creates many questions. Will the campaign be story driven and follow the story of a rebel or imperial soldier? Or will it reflect the galactic conquest campaigns of the original games, where we control a specific faction and attempt to assert our dominance over the many planets and areas of the galaxy?

This would allow for a more expansive game, one that could cover most periods of Star Wars history, battles could include fights against clone troopers and the trade federations droid army of

from the original trilogy, Stormtroopers vs rebels on Hoth and Endor, and now maybe even Scarif to include things from the new spinoffs.

And of course, the new trilogy must be included, the first order and the alliance must play a larger role to fully flesh out the new series.

This inclusion of all aspects of Star Wars could make for extraordinary and fantastical multiplayer battles too, why not have the Trade Federation vs the Rebel Army, or the clone troopers vs the Stormtroopers in a vast display of continually missing the target? This opens a great opportunity for cross-trilogy heroes and villains. Darth Maul vs Darth Vader, Kylo-Ren vs Qui-Gon Jinn. The possibilities are endless. EA, you are our only hope.

Image Credit: EA Press Kit

The Courier

gaming.29

Monday 20 February 2017

Memory Card: Half-Life 2 Gerry Hart showers praise on one of videogaming’s most treasured FPS titles of all time

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f last month’s leaks are to be believed, it would seem the most anticipated video game this century is, in fact, not happening. The rumours that Valve isn’t working on Half-Life 3 are disappointing but understandable, provided they’re true.

For years, the internet has been whipping itself into a collective frenzy over the prospect of a third game so it’s not hard to see why Valve feared it would taint its franchise’s legacy by not living up to expectations. And, let’s face it, when you’re following Half-Life 2, you’ve a lot to live up to.

Let’s start with the level design, by far HL2’s greatest strength. Though less common now, there’s still this notion within gaming that states that linearity is inherently bad thanks to the litany of lead-by-the-balls modern military FPSs that plagued the turn of the decade but HL2 proves that this isn’t necessarily the case. Instead, HL2 demonstrates that linearity doesn’t necessitate sacrificing challenge and complexity. Many levels contain puzzles that the player must solve in order to continue and whilst many of them centre on HL2’s bizarre physics engine they still provide an additional challenge and each level contains enough diversity both in gameplay and visual design not only to prevent them from overstaying their welcome but to also provide for some incredibly memorable experiences. I’ve heard the game described as a road trip, and I feel it’s a truly apt description. HL2’s linearity provides a level of succinctness and structure that wouldn’t be achieved in a more open-ended experience and the results are incredible.

This brings me onto the story. Whereas HL1’s plot is often compared to a 1950s sci-fi B-Movie, HL2 feels decidedly more surreal. On the surface the game takes place 25 years after its predecessor in an Eastern European city dubbed “City 17”, where

following the events of the first game an extradimensional Empire known as “The Combine” conquered Earth, establishing a brutal, Orwellian puppet regime but there’s more going on under the surface, with an enigmatic figure in a blue suit in particular hinting at multiple interpretations of the game’s events.

But what I like about HL2’s story is how sublimely it intersects with the level design. Exposition is rare and usually limited to the start and ending of levels. Rather, the big moments of HL2’s story are the setpieces the player interacts with in the levels. Then there are the characters, many of whom have become gaming icons (Alyx Vance in particular still remains wonderfully engaging and expressive 13 years on).

HL2 is in many ways Valve’s magnum opus, even if it was arguably following in the footsteps of its predecessor. Half Life revolutionised storytelling in video games chiefly by demonstrating that FPSs could tell decent stories by making gameplay and narrative synonymous. And whilst many might argue that HL2 merely builds upon its predecessor’s legacy, it does so in a far more engaging, accessible and coherent manner than the first game was even capable of. Its just a shame we may never see this venerable franchise get the conclusion it deserves.

The Completionist That One Video Game is a channel which has been around since roughly late 2011 with it’s biggest series being ‘The Completionist’. ‘The Completionist’ is a show centred around the host Jirard Khalil trying to finish an entire video game in the space of a week. The show is extremely interesting, showing a massive insight into the content of many great games, a long with Jirard and former co-host Gregg creating a story centred around completing games, with Gregg being trapped inside an Xbox 360 at one point. There’s also top 10 lists and other gameplay videos to check out.

WhatCulture

Image Credit: NinjaFatGuy

James McCoull gets his memory card read by a psychotic insectoid assassin for science

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Gaming

Sam Blackburn blogs about his favourite gaming vlogs

“Half-Life 2 is in many ways Valve’s Magnum Opus”

but also forces you to plug your controller into another port, lest he ‘read your mind’ and predict your attacks. In Eternal Darkness, the game’s ‘sanity effects’ result in a host of screwy features such as fake game crashes, or ‘to be continued’ screens for a sequel which doesn’t exist.

That’s the how; now for the why. It’s easy to get complacent with a game’s interface the longer you spend with it. Anyone who’s accustomed to console gaming can tell you that after a while, acutely tweaking analogue sticks becomes a case of muscle memory, and PC gamers know where their hotkeys lie without a moment’s hesitation. The impact of disorienting a player’s relationship with the game itself – their inputs, their screens, their devices – can’t be understated.

Many examples are basic enough to ignore, or at least just wait out. In Fallout 3, addictions and injuries will blur your screen or cause your aim to sway wildly, embellishing the existing difficulties rather than adding whole new dimensions. On the

Top 5

Channels

Club Trope-icana: Interface Screw

f there’s one thing games like to do, it’s fuck with the player. They’re built around, it, in fact – what’s a game without enemies, traps, obstacles, conflict? A game’s job is to challenge its player, after all – so it’s a good thing the player always has ways to fight back. Until they don’t.

Welcome to the strange and unsettling world of the interface screw. This particular trope knows no boundaries of genre, platform, or history, and goes for you where it hurts: the controller, or heads-up display, or sometimes even the console itself. At its most basic, the interface screw throws gunk onto the screen a la the Boomers of Left 4 Dead or the Bloopers of Mario Kart; however, getting more extreme, certain enemies or traps can reverse your controls, get rid of certain HUD elements, or worse. At its most insidious, the sky’s the limit.

A classic example is the Psycho Mantis boss fight from Metal Gear Solid. This fourth-wall breaking son of a bitch not only freaks you out by reading your game data straight from the memory card,

thecourieronline.co.uk @Courier_Gaming

other hand, instances such as suddenly having to navigate unseen through a weaponless hospital in Hotline Miami (a game in which ‘unseen’ and ‘weaponless’ simply aren’t terms that translate) whilst also fighting your own controller will truly throw you off balance. For some games, it can even be a central mechanic. Metafictional indie title Pony Island sees you playing a seemingly ancient arcade cabinet in a featureless empty room – already insidious even before the arcade game starts talking to you, demanding your compliance.

Before long, you’re hacking into the code of the titular game-within-a-game, ‘Pony Island’, screwing the interface even as it screws you.

They can be used as a scare tactic in horror games, a gameplay device in puzzle games, a plot device in just about anything, and so on; the possibilities are endless. One thing is always consistent, though: the interface screw is, above all else, a game’s gentle reminder that we play on its terms and not our own.

WhatCulture Gaming is what WhatMojo would be if it was located in Newcastle and actually enjoyable. Have to give big props to these guys, who have produced some great content from top ten lists, to gameplay videos and even humorous loot crate unboxing. One of the younger channels on this list, WhatCulture has been going around for a good few years now, producing informative and entertaining content in list form, and it’s great to see how they’ve developed. Hopefully WhatCulture Gaming can venture out into more content in the coming years to be a true force in the Youtube Gaming media space.

Joseph Anderson For something a little bit different, then look no further than the channel of Joseph Anderson. I’m using Anderson as an example of a growing trend of academic video game critiques which can be found on YouTube, going in depth on the game design of many different video games in long interesting videos. Although they are all worth checking out, Joseph Anderson stands out as the finest one. His critiques on the Dark Souls series are absolutely fantastic and worth a look at. What’s important about Anderson’s channel is that it shows Video Games as more than just something we enjoy, but something we can analyse in an analytical sense.

Game Theory On the other end of the more academic gamers, maybe Game Theory is more your cup of tea?

Originally started out in 2011 by MatPat, the channel has expanded to so much more featuring new shows than just Game Theory. What’s great about Game Theory is the details MatPat goes into to explore the hidden meanings beneath games.

Throughout this series he has explored multiple different genres and themes seen in video games.

Some are light hearted, but others are extremely dark like his Earthbound video.

Fitzthistlewitz

Image Credit: Konami

And for my last and possibly favourite gaming YouTuber, that accolade has to belong to the late great Fitzthistlewitz (isn’t actually dead). Although his time on YouTube was very bleak, Fitzthistlewitz made an impact. From his incredibly indepth reviews of games like Crusader Kings 2, Battletoads and Civilization V, to his amazing let’s play spectaculars of classics such as Mario 64, Façade and a hidden unknown gem called Super Marion Bros, this is one Youtuber worth checking out.

Sadly, Fitzthistlewitz decided to take his own life after losing to the Yogscast at the 2013 VGAs for the best gaming personality award. We are long awaiting his ghost to return and make videos after four long years.

30.science&technology

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Science Editors: Matthew Byrne, Natalie Farmer & Ciara Ritson-Courtney

On this day

February 20th 1901 Science Editor Ciara Ritson-Courtney throws back to the man who changed the face of medicine

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ené Dubos was a french-born american microbiologist who was not only born on this date but dies also 81 years later on this date as well. Dubos was well known for his work specifically on isolating antibacterial substances from certain soil microorganisms which led to the discovery of many major antibiotics.

Dubos dubos grew up in a small village in france and attended high school in Paris. He went on to receive his PHD from Rutgers University in 1927 and then began his career in microbiology by joining Oswald Avery’s laboratory, which focused on finding a microbe to breakdown a deadly strain of bacteria pneumonia.

In 1939 Dubos began work at the Rockefeller institute, where he became a professor, and isolated the antibacterial agents “tyrothricin” and “gramicidin” from the bacterium Bacillus brevis. These antibiotics are still in use today however only for rare cases.His work at Rockefeller did not only cover pneumonia however, but also spanned to tuberculosis, acquired immunity and susceptibility and resistance to infection, all of which were pressing issues of the time.

In 1942 Dubos warned of the problems that could arise with common use of antibiotics and was adamant that bacterial resistance should be expected.

For the brief period between 1942-44 Dubos was the George Fayban professor of comparative pathology and tropical medicine at harvard medical school, however he chose to return to the Rockefeller institute for medical research (now the Rockefeller univerversity) where he spent the remainder of his scientific career.

“Dubos warned of the problems that could arise with common use of antibiotics and was adamant that bacterial resistance should be expected”

Dubos received multiple prizes throughout his lifetime such as the Albert Lasker Basic Medical Research Award and the Pulitzer Prize, which he won for his nonfiction book ‘So human an animal” in 1969. Despite being a microbiologist Dubos became interested in the other areas of human development such as mental and spiritual development. He had a very humanistic philosophy which was basedonhispopularmaxim of “Think globally, Actlocally”,

The new tech buzz

Errol Kerr bee-lieves that new drone intelligence could lead to the apocalypse

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oday, in your weekly dose of Errol screaming excitedly over scientific advancement, we have robotic bees coming straight out of Black Mirror and into our very realities. Scientists at Japan’s National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology (AIST) have created an ultra-lightweight drone that is able to transport pollen between flowers. These small, manually-controlled drones weigh roughly 15 grams, are 4cm wide, and are designed so that pollen grains will get stuck on their underside, allowing the grains to be transported from flower to flower. Currently, however, these small, lightweight drones are incredibly difficult to control and manoeuvre, and have only been tested on one certain flower-type: the Japanese lily, which have protruding stamens and stigma - the reproductive organs of the flower - and therefore do not require the constructs to climb into the flower in order to retrieve and deposit pollen.

ries. It could take a significant amount of time to develop the artificial intelligence needed to shift these robotic pollinators from being manually controlled to being controlled automatically by a computer, a setback which could detract from their purpose of replacing declining bee populations. Also, criticisms can be seen in technology replacing organic life and the irresponsibility of humans in not simply attempting to revive and increase bee populations across the globe.

Teams are now working on technology that will allow these bee-bots (catchy, right?) to operate without manual control. A mixture of GPS, high-resolution cameras and advanced artificial intelligence will be required to move swarms of these drones to track their paths to and from different flowers. This will, scientists hope, allow for large-scale agriculture to pollinate their crops in a far more controllable manner, utilising technology to solve both the declining bee population, and an ever-increasing human population and its insatiable necessity for more and more food.

These robotic bees, however, do raise certain que-

but would need to be deployed in massive numbers to create a viable replacement. Alongside this, the construction and repeated utilisation of said machines would be incredibly expensive – as currently, each ‘bee’ costs around $100 – and therefore it is likely that as of this moment it’s a completely unfeasible alternative – at least, economically. Criticism has been gathered from the Australian National University who indicate the scale of the operations these drones would conduct – with the almond industry used as an example. Professor Saul Cunningham utilised this example, explaining that within an

“With bee and other insect populations responsible for the pollination of about threequarters of crop species, these inorganic replacements would not be affected by pesticides or “Teams are now working on climate change” technology that will allow these With bee and other insect populations responsible bee-bots to operate for the pollination of about three-quarters of crop species, these inorganic replacements would (for obvious without manual control” reasons) not be affected by pesticides or climate change,

almond tree orchard spanning several kilometres, and with ‘each individual tree support[ing] fifty-thousand flowers’, the scale of using so many hundreds of thousands of bee drones would be completely improbable.

Despite this, the Japanese scientists see hope in their project, and they do not want their robotic drones to replace the organic drones of the bee population – instead, Eijiro Miyako, AIST chemist, hopes that the robots would work alongside bee populations instead of as a replacement to an already functioning organic machine, and that this would help alleviate the current crisis facing pollinator species such as bees and other insects.

Of course, we have to wonder what the future holds for these pollinator species, and should certain species – God forbid – be forced into extinction, the necessity of these automated pollinators may be undeniable. Of course, this could, indeed, lead to every conspiracy theorist’s worst nightmare – with hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of tiny, automated drones with cameras attached, who is going to have any security these days? Or if they’re automated by AI, what’s to stop the machine apocalypse?

You’re multiple of a kind

Christoper Little tells us how we could all have thousands of cosmic twins

“Dubos received multiple prizes throughout his lifetime such as the Albert Lasker Basic Medical Research Award”

In his final years he gave up his lab work to devote his time to teaching and writing in behalf of the human environment. Unfortunately Dr.Dubos died in 1982 due to heart failure, however his legacy lives on through the land in North Castle, New york he purchased to keep in its natural state and the multiple archives he donated to the environmental library of the Pace University. A centre was also founded in his name to help protect various environments.

Y

ou are here reading The Courier. You are out there in the distant depths of the cosmos, also reading The Courier. But that version of you had the cheek to flick past the Science section and go straight to the Puzzles. And back here again, another version of you had the audacity to walk by those newspapers and not even pick one up. Shame on you.

Sorry, that was a bit harsh. It wasn’t your fault, well at least not the version of you that is reading this (the best version in my opinion). For it was your cosmic twins that I was referring to. Copies of you that exist in a multiverse of parallel worlds that are both here and scattered throughout the far-flung realms of space. It may sound beyond belief, but according to some of the best theories we have to explain the universe, these doppelgängers do exist.

“Cosmic twins are copies of you that exist in a multiverse of parallel worlds that are both here and scattered throughout the far-flung realms of space”

Your cosmic twins could have the same thoughts and feelings as you. They could be identical to you in every way or they could be very different. They could be evil, or twelve

feet tall, or inhabit the body of a cat. They could be all three at the same time. In a distant parallel world you may even have a cosmic twin that looks exactly like Donald Trump.

The cosmos is potentially so big, that all of these possibilities must play out. It is simply a matter of basic probability.

What makes scientists believe this is possible is the theory of inflation. Developed around 1980 as an extension to the Big Bang theory, inflation proposes that a period of exponential expansion occurred in the split seconds following the Big Bang. The theory answers many cosmological puzzles and is the best model we have so far to explain the birth of our universe. But it also predicts that this expansion could have created bubbles of spacetime that grew into other universes.

One branch of the theory predicts that this rapid expansion could last forever, creating an infinite multiverse.

Known as ‘eternal inflation’, there could be universes out there where the laws that govern matter are completely different. Where ours has six types of quarks, another may have eight. In these universes your cosmic twins could be anything from geometric shapes to balls of pure energy.

Another theory that predicts the presence of parallel realities lies in the weird world of quantum mechanics. This branch of physics deals with the very small, where matter seems to obey different rules to the world we perceive. On a quantum scale particles can exist in many states at the

same time, it is not until we observe them that they become fixed. Yet it has been proposed that these particles continue to exist in their other states in parallel universes.

Theoretically speaking, these microscopic occurrences could be scaled up to a macroscale. This would mean that it is not merely an electron that is in two places at the same time, but a person as well. In the quantum multiverse the world is continually branching off into divergent copies, fuelled not by human choice, but by quantum mechanics.

“Known as eternal inflation, there could be universes out there where the laws that govern matter are completely different”

Though it would be impossible to meet your quantum twin, it would be possible to meet your physical cosmic twin. Probability alone dictates that if you travel a googolplex metres into space, then all of the quarks would be arranged in the same way as our universe. Here you would find your doppelgänger. But before you can meet them, you’ll just have to wait for us to invent faster-thanlight travel. For now, you can rest assured that we are not alone in the cosmos. In fact, there are loads of us.

The Courier

science&technology.31

Monday 20 February 2017

A-Proxima-tely alone James McCoull travels to Proxima B and beyond to find us some companions

T

he possibility of life elsewhere in the universe is one that has fascinated humanity for its entire lifespan – from the planetary deities of the Roman pantheon to 20th century science fiction’s preoccupation with every form of alien life imaginable. Now though, exoplanet hunters are seriously considering that possibility on a place not so far from home.

Proxima B is a planet orbiting the aptly named red dwarf Proxima Centauri – the nearest star to our own sun at just 4.25 light years. Needless to say, that’s still an unfathomable distance in human terms (over 24 trillion miles, in fact) but in cosmic terms it’s very close indeed. So why Proxima B? The salient facts are these: it’s an Earthsize planet orbiting Centauri at a distance suggesting habitability to organic lifeforms. Details of its atmosphere and even its surface are unknown, though; it could well be composed of gases or liquids rather than any kind of solid matter at all, and that’s before you get into any of the other myriad requirements for a life-bearing

at 17 kilometres a second (the velocity of the Voyager 1 probe) would take more than 17,000 years to arrive, and need-

“Proxima B is a planet orbiting the aptly named red dwarf Proxima Centauri – the nearest star to our own sun at just 4.25 light years”

planet (a ‘garden world’, to borrow a science fiction term).

That said, the discovery team is optimistic. Apparently, initial data is suggestive of a terrestrial planet, a ‘surface you can stand on’ in the words of the team, and its proximity to Centauri would allow for water to exist in a liquid state. The implications of this are twofold: firstly, that human beings might be able to live there, assuming the technology to traverse the vast distance was developed at some point, and secondly that if they did so they might not be alone when they arrived. Current estimates suggest that an unmanned probe travelling to Proxima Centauri

less to say t h e human race it had left behind would be in a very different state when it arrived; given sufficient advances in technology, we might expect to beat it there by a wide margin. Better means of propulsion could get an unmanned probe there much faster: the Breakthrough Starshot project is currently working on getting a probe to Alpha Centauri, a neighbouring system, but the possibility of getting

Saving sleeves

Aine Wilcox shows us ink-redible tattoos that could save lives, track our futures and monitor wellbeing

T

he meeting point between technology and health is creating revolutions – none more prevalent than the wearable, flexible electronics that track key areas of your health. When hearing the words temporary tattoo, most minds flashback to a scruffy Spiderman sticker slapped mid-way down a child’s forearm. But a small few picture a small electronic patch that has both the ability to read key data from the body but also to transmit it.

These semiconductor wafers are around the thickness of a human hair. The team behind this work is led by a Professor Todd Coleman who, in a speech at the famous ‘Ted talks’, shed some light on what can only be described as a potentially groundbreaking development. He used the example of a lady in the late stages of pregnancy in a high risk category. This put simply meant that many things could go wrong and hence a constant stream of tests would be required to ensure the highest likelihood of a positive outcome. One of the biggest problems in hospitals worldwide is capacity to house patients and demand.

The somewhat brilliant solution that this technology is offering is the ability to monitor a patient in many of the same ways you would in a hospital but from a remote location, such as their own homes. It offers an alternative for a patient who otherwise may be hospitalised for an exceedingly long duration.

“These semiconductor wafers are around the thickness of a human hair”

The problems that Coleman himself has addressed include, patient privacy and a trust in health care professionals. With data protection becoming an increasing is-

sue, would people be willing to trust this type of constant personal data flow? Seemingly, these are issues that have been worked on and precautions have been put in place to minimise the likelihood of hackers. Yet it is easy to see where concerns may come from, if there is a digital file floating around that could essentially show the exact physical state you are in at this moment in time.

“With data protection becoming an increasing issue, would people be willing to trust this type of constant personal data flow?”

However, from pregnancy to chronic disease, this small piece of innovation has had many clinical applications already and the potential for further still. It comes from a combination of medicine, maths and creativity leading to analytic algorithms that measure human vitals from just a small patch of skin. This development may well be one of the key advancements in medical technology of our generation.

living people across such a span is still a distant dream.

Those are the pessimistic realities of the situation, but there’s still plenty to be excited about. Having a feasibly habitable exoplanet so close (relatively speaking) to our own is a fantastically lucky happenstance, as the probability of a planet sustaining life when considering all the relevant factors is incredibly low. This is, of course, when using a fairly restrictive definition of life as we know it, and there’s no way of guessing what else might actually exist out there. Details as to the precise nature of Proxima B are scarce for the time being. However, following its discovery by scientists at the La Silla Observatory in Chile, it is feasible that observations could be made concerning wavelengths of light passing through the exoplanet’s atmosphere which would form the grounds for conclusions about the chemical composition of the planet itself. Other po-

thecourieronline.co.uk/science

Mythbusters: Does urine really help jellyfish stings ?

Jack Coles delves into the depths of this prickly myth

F

or those of you that have only ever seen the ocean on postcards and Titanic gifs, jellyfish are essentially an aquatic bowl of venomous noodles. They sting by having specialised cells (called nematocysts) that, when stimulated, rapidly eject a barb loaded with venom into whatever triggered it to fire. This is usually a fish or another animal the jellyfish uses for food; occasionally, this can be a person.

When a nematocyst triggers, it sometimes gets lodged in the skin of the victim. The jellyfish doesn’t care; partly because it doesn’t have much of a nervous system, but also because nematocysts are single-use cells. The victim, however, may care a bit more, with symptoms ranging from a vague tingling sensation, to death (dependent upon jellyfish species).

“When a nematocyst triggers, “Better means of it sometimes gets lodged in the propulsion could get skin of the victim” an unmanned probe One day, somebody decided that possibly urinating on friend might be the solution to the jellyfish sting; there much faster: the your however, this was on television, so many people decided to follow suit. And that guy was called Chandler Bing. Yep, Breakthrough s right, we have hit TV show Friends to blame for peoStarshot project is cur- that’ ple thinking that you should pee on a jellyfish sting. problems, or possibly prerently working on getting So, does pee potentially pose vent pathogenesis? It is mostly a probe to Alpha Centauri,a the former, I’m afraid. Urine is a sterile liquid inside the neighbouring system” bladder (usually), but the

tential projects include the application of the ‘European Extremely Large Telescope’ currently in development, which might be able to analyse specific details about the planet’s atmosphere (if indeed there is one to analyse).

Details are scarce and all conclusions are extremely tentative, but that’s to be expected with a discovery such as this. For the time being, all we can do is monitor the situation and wait for technology to catch up to our interstellar ambitions. That is, unless anything that might be living out by Proxima Centauri gets to us first.

Word of the Week: Callipygian

Jordan Olomon bites into this weeks juicy word

B

ell Biv Devoe once said, in the peak of their 1990 hit ‘Poison’ that you should “Never trust a Big Butt and a Smile” Sir Mix a Lot on the other hand had different ideas.

His anaconda didn’t want any unless you had baked treats back there. His unapologetic adoration for the caboose is seriously admirable, and creepy uncles across the country honour his patronage by spinning the track at already awkward family parties.

The thing is, this rump deification goes all the way back to Ancient Greece. This is why the marble statue ‘Venus Callipige’ has the most perfectly sculpted cheeks on the globe. Callipygian literally means beautiful buttocks.

The word itself originates from ancient greek where kalli = beautiful and puge =buttocks. As quite a specific word it only has synonyms in modern terms such as bootylicious, bumtastic, and rumpalicious..

It’s clear that as a species, we’ve been in butt love for centuries.

further down the urethra it travels the more likely it is to be contaminated with some bacterial species or another. And getting bacteria into an open wound – such as a jellyfish sting – is almost never a good idea.

With a few species of jellyfish, urine can help. Uric acid is found in urine, and will deactivate any remaining nematocysts by warping their protein structures. But know what works better? Salt water, possibly from the sea. Unless the jellyfish has been kept in a tank and hurled at you several kilometres from the beach, there is little excuse for urinating on a patient instead of washing with sea-water.

However vinegar is even better, which is lucky as there are usually nearby chip shops.

A better, less ad-hoc treatment is to gently remove any

“Unless the jellyfish has been kept in a tank and hurled at you several kilometres from the beach, there is little excuse for urinating on a patient”

remaining tentacles with a stick or a knife (not with your hands) and then wash with clean salted water (around 7g of salt should go in a full 500ml water bottle). After that, you should wash the area again with unsalted water, and then cover the area up with a bandage. If it covers a large area, affects your face or genitals, causes an allergic reaction, or comes from a particularly dangerous species then medical advice should be called for.

Urine can (theoretically) also be used against other stings if you are foolhardy enough to want to try it. Wasp stings are alkaline, so the uric acid will help neutralise this; or alternatively, just use vinegar.

Although Urine isn’t the best for stings, it should be noted that unsalted water is much much worse. Unsalted water causes the nematocysts to swell and burst, releasing even more venom into the wound. Alcohol is also just as bad, as it often stimulates any unfired nematocysts to inject as well, while meat tenderiser (the chemical, not a hammer) has conflicting reports on its efficacy, so should also probably be avoided.Let’s just stick to the salt(water) and vinegar flavours of sting.

34. sport

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

STAN CALVERT PREVIEW 2017

TENNIS: NORTHUMBERLAND CLUB

STAN CALVERT PREVIEW 2017

The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 0900: NCL L-W UNN W1 26/02 0900: NCL L-W UNN M1

Point Prediction

Stan Calvert STAN CALVERT PREVIEW 2017 GOLF 1s: NEWCASTLE UNITED GOLF CLUB

GOLF 2s: CLOSE HOUSE The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 0930: NCL L-W UNN M2 26/02 1230: NCL L-W UNN M1 Point Prediction

The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1100: NCL W-L UNN M1

WOMEN’S TABLE TENNIS: NCL SPORTS CENTRE

MEN’S TABLE TENNIS: SPORT CENTRAL The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1330: NCL W-L UNN W1 26/02 1330: NCL W-L UNN W2 26/02 1500: NCL W-L UNN M1 26/02 1500: NCL W-L UNN M2

Point Prediction

Image: James Sproston

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Point Prediction

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BASKETBALL: SPORT CENTRAL The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1600: NCL L-W UNN W2 26/02 1800: NCL L-W UNN M2 Image: James Sproston Point Prediction

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Image: James Sproston

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Image: @Newcastle_UniCC

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The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1200: NCL W-L UNN M2 26/02 1400: NCL W-L UNN W1 26/02 1600: NCL L-W UNN M1

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BADMINTON: NCL SPORTS CENTRE

Image: @NclGolf

Point Prediction

Point Predict

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Image: Mark Sleightholm

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Point Prediction

The Courier’s 26/02 1400: 26/02 1600:

The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1300: NCL L-W UNN 1

INDOOR CRICKET: SOUTH NORTH

Preview

LACROSS

GAELIC FOOTBALL: KILLINGWORTH

Image: @newcastletennis

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S P

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HOCKEY: LONGBENTON The Courier’s Predictions 22/02 1900: NCL W-L UNN M1 23/02 1800: NCL D-D UNN W1

Point Prediction

Image: James Sproston

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STAN CALVERT PREVIEW 2017

SQUASH: SPORT CENTRAL The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1500: NCL L-W UNN W1 26/02 1500: NCL W-L UNN M1 Point Prediction

2-2

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NETBALL: SPORT CENTRAL

The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1300: NCL W-L UNN 3 26/02 1500: NCL L-W UNN 2 26/02 1900: NCL L-W UNN 1 Image: Lucy Brogden Point Prediction

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Image: Ryan Doran

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WATER POLO: SPORT CENTRAL

The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1730: NCL L-W UNN M2 26/02 1830: NCL W-L UNN W1 26/02 1930: NCL W-L UNN M1 Image: Hannah Linaker Point Prediction

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VOLLEYBALL: SPORT CENTRAL The Courier’s Predictions 23/02 1700: NCL L-W UNN W1 23/02 1900: NCL L-W UNN M1 Point Prediction

Image: Lucy Brogden

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sport .35

Monday 20 February 2017

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SE: LONGBENTON

’s Predictions NCL W-L UNN W1 NCL W-L UNN M1

tion

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Image: Stuart Ward

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WOMEN’S FOOTBALL: COCHRANE PARK MEN’S FOOTBALL: COACH LANE The Courier’s Predictions 20/02 1700: NCL L-W UNN M2 20/02 1900: NCL W-L UNN M1 26/02 1230: NCL L-W UNN W2 26/02 1430: NCL L-W UNN W1 Point Prediction

Image: Robin Richards

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ULTIMATE: COACH LANE The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1500: NCL W-L UNN M1

Point Prediction

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2-0

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WOMENS’ RUGBY: HEATON SPORTS GROUND MEN’S RUGBY: COCHRANE PARK The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1230: NCL W-L UNN W2 26/02 1400: NCL W-L UNN M2 26/02 1400: NCL L-W UNN W1 Image: Amy Jones Point Prediction

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FENCING: WALKERGATE The Courier’s Predictions 26/02 1300: NCL W-L UNN W1 26/02 1300: NCL W-L UNN M1 Point Prediction

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FUTSAL: SPORT CENTRAL

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ATHLETICS: GATESHEAD STADIUM The Courier’s Prediction

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26/02 0900 Image: @NUAXC

EQUESTRIAN: STEPNEY BANK The Courier’s Prediction

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21/02 1330: Dressage 1s & 2s 22/02 1330: Jumping 1s & 2s Image: @NURidingClub

SWIMMING: SPORT CENTRAL The Courier’s Prediction

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26/02 1500 W 26/02 1500 M

Image: Lucy Nehring

The Courier’s Predictions 23/02 1800: NCL L-W UNN M2 26/02 1830: NCL L-W UNN W1 26/02 1930: NCL L-W UNN M1 Image: Alex Hendley Point Prediction

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SKIING: SILKSWORTH The Courier’s Prediction

W-L

25/02 1645

Image: BUCS Events

36. sport

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

Home Nations Round-up

Having reached the halfway stage of the Six Nations, we take a look at the individual teams’ chances of success of the 4 Home Nations: England; Ireland, Scotland and Wales, as they do battle for the glory and the trophy

Player to Watch: Owen Farrell has the potential to be world-class Image: Wikimeida Commons

The way in which Eddie Jones has turned around this England side, has been nothing short of staggering. From the disastrous home World Cup, in which they failed to get past the pool stages, Jones has made England the Northern Hemisphere’s top side in just over a year. In 2016 for the first time ever, England won all their games in a calendar year, an incredible run which just shows the impact, the previous South Africa and Australia coach has had.

The opening two games of this year’s Six Nations has simply been further proof that England are well and truly once again a force to be reckoned with in international Rugby. The 16-21 win over Wales last weekend, was widely considered to be one of the best games the championship has seen in recent

England

years, and the fact England came out on top speaks volumes about this current squad. One of sport’s greatest clichés, is so because it is completely true.

Champions win when they are not at their best performance-wise. Wales won many key battles last Saturday, but England won the game.

Jones may be the general, but he has plenty of sergeants fighting his battles.

Maro Itoje was devastating at number 6, while Owen Farrell has found consistency in his kicking at fly-half. They are favourites for the tournament for a reason- they are the best side in Europe.

It is far from over though, difficult tests against Scotland and Ireland await. Before that Italy arrive at Twickenham, and while the Azzurri will be no pushovers, England will be

Scotland

Ever since narrowly and losing their 2015 World Cup quarter-final against the Wallabies in controversial circumstances, the Scottish team have come on leaps and bounds.

A team growing in confidence, they made a great start to the tournament in front of their home crowd at Murrayfield, having beat title favourites Ireland by 27 points to 22. The Scots were clinical at first taking advantage of Irish errors to take the game 21-8 before the end of the first half, through two tries from 2016’s Player of the Tournament, Stuart Hogg and another from Alex Dunbar.

Then came the Irish onslaught with the away side who despite some fantastic defending from Scotland, took the lead by 1 point. However led by their captain and scrum-half Greig Laidlaw, the Scots fought back. After two Irish fouls, Laidlaw showed his composure, scoring two penalties to win the game.

However in their game versus France, it was a reversal of fortunes as Scotland were defeated 16-22. The Scots were dropping off like flies as captain Laidlaw went off injured, before flanker and deputy captain John Barclay in his 50th appearance and then later his replacement John Hardie both coming

confident of extending the streak to 170. Although Jones will be rotating the squad slightly to give his “finishers” starts against the Italians, he will also be targeting his sides’ first bonus point of the competition.

If England can maintain current levels of performance, it will be very hard to look past them for a second straight Grand Slam and 6 Nations title. Jones has transformed the hopes of the Twickenham faithful in just over a year and will be hoping to maintain momentum ahead of the 2019 world cup in Japan. Experts are already whispering that this is the best side since the magnificent class of 2003 with Wilkinson, Johnson and co- watch this space.

Jack Lacey-Hutton

Flanker Sam Warburton has relinquished his captaincy in January Image: Wikimeida Commons

Wales

off due to head knocks. While hooker Fraser Brown was also forced off injured. Their efforts were not helped when fly-half Finn Russell lost his composure and somehow missed a simple conversion. Ultimately having been a close contest with the score 16 all, in the final ten minutes France took control and a weakened Scotland were lucky to finish with a losing bonus point.

Now that their talismanic captain has been ruled out of the rest of the tournament with an ankle injury, the Scots will be looking to regroup before facing off against Wales on Saturday.

While it seems almost certain that Italy will be leaving the tournament with the wooden spoon, Scotland should be aiming higher than 5th place in what will be Coach Vern Cotter’s final Six Nations. It is up to players like Russell, Hogg and Barclay to lead the team in their remaining three fixtures.

Scotland certainly have potential, they just need to realise it!

With a comfortable win and a devastating loss under their belt, and three matches still to play, Wales are currently sitting in third position.

Due to the nature of the competition, however following the addition of bonus points, the mere three points currently separating first and fifth place, mean that there is still very much all to play for. Welsh head Coach Rob Howley, has a vast experience including both winning and losing against England in his playing career. In an interview for Radio 5 live last week, He was described as a “class act” by former England scrum half Matt Dawson.

Howley told Wales Rugby Union that his side gave a ‘75 minute performance’ against England on Saturday, blaming the defeat on ‘lack of composure’ in the final minutes.

BBC Radio 5 Live claimed prior to the match that a poll showed that the age-old Wales-England rivalry was so great that the majority of Welsh fans would rather see Wales beat England but take home the wooden spoon in the overall competition than claim the Six Na-

Tom Shrimplin

tions title whilst having lost to the red and whites. Up until the final minutes, it was looking as if the Welsh dreams were to be fulfilled, but they were shattered by a late converted try from England.

Despite this disappointing end for Wales, fans leaving the stadium were quick to commend the quality of rugby that they saw from both teams and look positively towards to the rest of the competition.

After praising the team’s performances so far, Captain Alun Wyn Jones has urged his men to maintain absolute composure for the full 80 minutes in this Saturday’s fixture against Scotland.

With their most highly anticipated match out the way, a tenth consecutive victory against the Scots at Murrayfield could see Wales climbing in the leader board to second place.

If Howley’s side continues to play as “superbly” as he states they have until now and manage maintain the focus needed to eliminate the “little errors” which proved so costly last weekend, they look to be a force to be reckoned with.

Sydney Isaacs

Ireland

Captain Greig Laidlaw is now out for the rest of the tournament Image: Wikimeida Commons

As I’m writing, Ireland sit second in the table, having picked up two tasty bonus points against Italy and Scotland.

Admittedly, neither of those two sides have a reputation for being fantastic defensively, but you can only get beat the team put in front of you.

Ireland have been set back by Scotland, but that’s a team still riding on the wave of the World Cup. Now that Greig Laidlaw is out for the tournament, Scotland won’t be in contention, and it’s hard to see any other team than England challenging for the title.

Wales are a team lacking leadership, and with Cuthbert sent back to Cardiff Blues to cut grass, Wales will hope they can pull themselves together when they take on Scotland. They’re turning to

Keelan Giles, ‘the next Shane Williams’, to turn their tourney around. He looks good, but not that good.

France are the next obstacle for Ireland’s Six Nations challenge. Having beaten a Scotland side that had a majestic first half against Ireland, France are a danger, especially in the scrum. But Ireland have three aces up their sleeves, as Jonny Sexton, Jamie Heaslip and Sean O’Brien are set to return to the scrum.

Heaslip and O’Brien will help secure the Irish scrum against a weighty French pack, whilst they’ll have to pray that their excellent ball retention helps to stem the flow of tries they’re conceding. At the other end, Sexton returning at 10 should add a more clinical edge from the tee.

Though Rory Best has played it down, Garry Ringrose could be the difference for Ireland over the next three games.

Comparisons to Brian O’Driscoll may be a bit of a stretch at this stage, but he looks like a right talent.

Ireland may be outsiders at this stage, but if everything comes together they might be contenders. So long as the scrum-half question, the defensive frailties, and Jonny Sexton’s fitness is sorted, expect Ireland to be going into that final crunch match with England still in with a shout.

James Sproston

Player to Watch: Jamie Heaslip is crucial to the Irish scrum Image: Wikimeida Commons

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Monday 20 February 2017

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NUBC storm to victory in varsity STAN CALVERT 2017

WOMEN’S ROWING Newcastle

1

Northumbria

0

Northumbria in the first ten strokes, then going on to gain clear water in the first 250 metres. The crew managed to soak up as much home advantage as is possible in rowing, racing down the home straight they train on everyday.

They gained a surge in speed as they approached the steps, to be greeted by the cheers of many supporters.

The verdict could only be described as ‘easy’- a seamless victory for Newcastle. The conditions were received well by both the supporters and rowers, those racing were able to enjoy flat and fast water, racing with the stream, and the supporters enjoyed the sunshine, hinting that summer may be approaching Newcastle.

10

strokes gained in the first 250m

It is very exciting to see what these girls can achieve this year in the forthcoming summer racing season. NUBC can proudly list the Vic-

tor Ludorum at BUCs Regatta 2016 as one of their achievements, this event being one of the most important on the university racing calendar.

Hopefully this year, these girls can contribute to maintaining this title, as they are also part of a developing lightweight team, which has huge potential for success.

By Georgia Mulraine at Newburn Sports Centre An impressive display of Blue Star domination injects some midweek success into Newcastle University’s efforts for victory in the annual varsity competition, Stan Calvert.

On Wednesday 14th February, 2.30 pm, two women’s intermediate quads from the rival teams, Northumbria University Boat Club and Newcastle University Boat Club (NUBC, The Blue Star), lined up side by side to race one kilometre to the steps of Newcastle University’s boathouse- on the banks of Newburn.

The crew racing for Newcastle consisted of freshers Fiona Chestnutt (Stroke), Sofia Turner (Three), Lucy Stanhope (Two) and second year Lydia Davis, at bow. Having only raced together once before at Tyne United Head, the crew were unsure as to how they would fare against Northumbria, a crew rumoured to be significantly established.

However, the NUBC crew attacked the race from the start, moving away from

NUBC celebrate in style at Newburn Image:NUBC

38. sport

Monday 20 February 2017

The Courier

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston

Sprosdog’s Sport Section

Salty Stan Calvert statements We asked representatives from Northumbria and Newcastle about their thoughts on Stan Calvert

By James Sproston Sports Editor Yes, it’s me, I’m back. We would’ve asked Sophie Matthews to do another column but since she’s already contributed over to my right (go check it out, it’s a fantastic read), you’re stuck with me again.

Lucky you.

As we approach the momentous 26th of February, we at the Courier Sport feel we should give our view on the upcoming Stan Calvert madness.

We were in attendence at the Stan Calvert Launch last weekend, and watched two fantastic games. Despite the results, our basketballers did themselves proud, each time being in contention until the last quarter. Personal highlights from the evening were our Sock Watch and Col Stromsoy Watch (who’s opinions you can also catch to my right), the next thing on our list is Col Stromsoy’s Sock Watch, but that’s not taken off in the Courier office as well as we’d have liked.

Between the Launch and the 26th, there’s still plenty of Stan Calvert to sink your teeth into. Recently we’ve seen our rowers do us proud over at Newburn, and this week holds even more in store.

Football, equestrian, hockey, futsal and volleyball all have fixtures before the big weekend. Some of those are exceptionally tasty, and you should have a look at are our brilliantly put-together Stan Calvert preview to see how we think they’ll turn out.

In the world of Courier Sport, we can assure you that we don’t think we have a supreme sense of precognition, however we do pride ourselves on being upto-date with teams and knowing how they’re getting on, especially in comparison to a university like Northumbria. However, we also recognise that Stan Calvert fixtures aren’t just another mid-November Northern 2B game.

This isn’t business; this is war. Therefore, in certain instances we’ve been blindly optimistic, and backed our girls and boys to take the points from Northumbria, despite all the statistics screaming at us otherwise. Likewise, there’s some of those that were too close to call, and becuase we don’t like sitting on that perilously thin fence, we decided to summon the Courier Sport runes to give us an idea of the way that the result will go.

For many, the whole year will have been building up to this weekend, and many will be desperate to be included.

I can only hope that you’ve been able to experience it first hand, and that you savour the moment, because some don’t get that opportunity. Some of the most faithful 3s and 4s are cut this year, and some clubs, such as the internationally reknown Sepak Takraw Club, will probably not get the chance to compete for many years to come.

“So why aren’t more teams included?”

I hear you muffle behind that magificent paper that you cherish so dearly.

Well, it’s because each year Northumbria and Newcastle engage in negotiations that more often than not start with Northumbria claiming that they don’t want to do Stan Calvert this year.

Becuase they’re better than us? Because they’re better than a varsity competition? Or because people are losing interest? It could be one or many of those.

All we can do, as avid lovers of such an esteemed competition, is to show these bigwigs that we still care about Stan Calvert. We don’t even really mind about the result, we just want as many people taking part as possible. Because why not?

‘It was great to see the basketball 1st teams go hammer and tong with each other in two great contests. I hope to see this for all the other fixtures still to take place.

The event, although less teams and participants taking part than previous years, is still one that everyone looks forward to. Team Newcastle have their work cut against a very strong Northumbria outfit but I have every faith that everyone representing Newcastle University in this competition will be doing their very best.

Good luck to all those competing and enjoy the matches’

Fraser Kennedy: Newcastle Performance Sport Manager ‘Team Newcastle have worked so hard throughout the season so far, and I know we’re up to the challenges all teams are going to face in their Stan Calvert games.

The pressure is on Northumbria this year and their attempts to catch up to our 6 consecutive wins, and I’m sure Team Newcastle are going to give it all they’ve got to stop that happening. We’ve got some really great fixtures coming up like tennis, lacrosse, rowing, football, and the finale futsal. Stan Calvert really is the highlight of the sporting calendar throughout the year, and shows the solidarity of Team Newcastle. We all support each other, and I wish all competitors the best of luck, and remember you’ve got all of Team Newcastle and the AU backing you! This year, it’s ours!’

Sophie Matthews: Newcastle AU Officer

‘The Stan Calvert Memorial Cup competition is without doubt one of the best varsity competitions in the country between two universities that have outstanding sport programmes which have got even better in recent years. Whilst in recent years Northumbria has been successful in retaining the Stan Calvert Cup, it is exceptionally close and I’m quite sure that this year will be no different. For our part we won’t be complacent. I have complete faith in our student athletes, our programme and culture and we will be doing everything possible to retain the Cup as it means so much to students and staff at both universities. As always I’m sure it will be played with the highest standards of sportsmanship and that all non-competing students will get behind their athletes in the right way respecting each other.’ I’m sure it will once again be a great competition and a privilege to be involved in.’

Col Stromsoy: Northumbria Director of Sport ‘This year there’s already been questions about whether Team Northumbria are feeling any pressure with having the past 3 consecutive wins. I think this pressure is something we will thrive on and actually will help alleviate any potential complacency…we have to earn the win! We have already had a great start to the competition and there are so many exciting fixtures still to play. Some fixtures I’m personally looking forward to are athletics, water polo, men’s lacrosse, and of course the futsal finale. This event is one of the highlights of the year for the students and it really brings the teams together. It’s great to see so much support for each other and gives people the opportunity to watch sports they wouldn’t normally watch. Our teams know their job and I am confident we can bring the Cup home again this year!’

Emily Watkinson: Northumbria Student Sport President

Stan Calvert 2016-2017: Results and Fixtures Results

Cricket Outdoor (06/2016) NCL v UNN Rugby Union Kingston Park (28/09/2016) NCL M1 v UNN M1 Rugby League N/A NCL M2 v UNN M2 TBC (04/02/2017) NCL M1 v UNN M2 American Football, Gateshead Stadium (29/01/2017) NCL v UNN Basketball Sport Central, Arena (05/02/2017) NCL W1 v UNN W1 NCL M1 v UNN M1 Rowing Newburn Water Sports Centre (15/02/2017) NCL v UNN

Total Points: NCL 2 - 12 UNN

L-W

19-18

W-W* 10-26

0-52

63-87 62-88

W-L

Fixtures

Athletics Gateshead College & Stadium (26/02/2017) 9:00: NCL v UNN Badminton NCL Sports Centre (26/02/2017) 12:00: NCL M2 v UNN M2 14:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 16:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 Basketball Sports Central North (26/02/2017) 14:00: NCL M3 v UNN M3 16:00: NCL W2 v UNN W2 18:00: NCL M2 v UNN M2 Cricket Indoor South North (25/02/2017) NCL M1 v UNN M1 Equestrian Stepney Bank & Murton (21/02/2017 & 22/02/2017) 10:00: NCL 1sts v UNN 1sts 10:00: NCL 2nds v UNN 2nds Fencing Newcastle Fencing Centre (26/02/2017) 13:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 13:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 Football, Coach Lane (20/02/2017) 17:00: NCL M2 v UNN M2 19:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 Cochrane Park (26/02/2017) 14:30: NCL W1 v UNN W1

Futsal Sports Central, Centre (23/02/2017) 18:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 (26/02/2017) 17:30: NCL M2 v UNN M2 20:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 Gaelic Football Killingworth (26/02/2017) 13:00: NCL v UNN Golf Close House (26/02/2017) 9:30: NCL 2 v UNN 2 Newcastle United (26/02/2017) 12:00: NCL 1 v UNN 1

Skiing Silksworth Ski Slope (25/02/2017) 16:45: NCL v UNN Squash Sports Central, Squash Courts (26/02/2017) 15:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 15:00: NCL W1 v UNN W2 Swimming Sports Central, Pool (26/02/2017) 15:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 15:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1

Hockey Longbenton (22/02/2017) 18:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 19:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1

Table Tennis NCL Sports Centre (26/02/2017) 13:30: NCL W1 v UNN W1 13:30: NCL W2 v UNN W2 Sports Central (26/02/2017) 15:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 15:00: NCL M2 v UNN M2

Lacrosse Longbenton 3G (26/02/2016) 14:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 16:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1

Tennis Northumberland Club (26/02/2017) 9:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 9:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1

Netball Sports Central, South (26/02/2017) 13:00: NCL 3rds v UNN 3rds 15:00: NCL 2nds v UNN 2nds 17:00: NCL 1sts v UNN 1sts

Ultimate Coach Lane 3G (26/02/2017) 15:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1

Rugby Union Heaton Sports Ground (26/02/2017) 12:30: NCL W2 v UNN W2 14:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 Cochrane Park (26/02/2017) 14:00: NCL M2 v UNN M2

Volleyball Sports Central, South (23/02/2016) 17:00: NCL W1 v UNN W1 19:00: NCL M1 v UNN M1 Waterpolo Sport Central, Pool (26/02/2017) 18:30: NCL W1 v UNN W1 19:30: NCL M1 v UNN M1

The Courier

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Monday 20 February 2017

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Canoe paddle their way to silver Canoe Slalom

By Connor Shield at Tees Barrage Last weekend’s snow and rain was not enough to deter Newcastle University Canoe Club from bringing home silver in the annual BUCS Slalom competition, held at the man-made white water course Tees Barrage. The weekend’s freezing conditions made a difficult job harder when club members faced up against GB-level paddlers to try and score the fastest time down the course.

The event involves navigating down through technically difficult rapids with the aim to pass through a pair of poles known as a gate and finish in the fastest time possible. Penalties are earnt for missing or colliding with any of the gates, which can be upstream, where you have to enter against the flow of the water, or downstream, the opposite, their position changing every year.

“The weekend’s freezing conditions made a difficult job harder when club members faced up against GBlevel paddlers” 30 club members took part in a range of disciplines, from team events to individual runs throughout the two-day event. When not racing, members ran down the banks of the course encouraging others, or helped judge competitors’ runs at each of the gate stations.

The Canoe Club’s coach Chris Barratt

joined members of other clubs and the public to encourage all competitors from the banks. Chris Barratt has provided several training sessions and invaluable advice throughout the season and his 28 years of experience and expertise, were a key factor in the club’s high ranking. In an email to participants after the competition he noted “the true success of the weekend was more in terms of the progress witnessed”, as well as commending members on their performances and resilience in the challenging conditions.

Club president, Craig Milne said ‘It was fantastic to see how motivated and determined the whole tea were to do well. Everyone dedicated so much time to training and fought hard on the weekend to compete, despite the freezing weather conditions. A big thanks go to the club’s competition secretaries, Jessica Playle and Ben Smith, for their tremendous efforts to make sure the weekend was a success. Ranking so highly in this competition is a remarkable achievement, which we all should be extremely proud of!

Competition secretary, Jessica Playle said ‘The training and determination of the team clearly paid off and, regardless of extreme winter conditions, everyone performed incredibly well. To achieve second place overall is an amazing achievement and the whole club should be very proud.

Notable performances included Dan Leicester and Ben Smith placing 6th in the C2 (two person canoe) races, and two of the club’s teams coming 5th and 6th in the university’s high placing. The club had a strong showing in the difficult C2 category, with several pairs

“BUCS slalom was the final competition in the club’s calendar”

from Newcastle. The bar was set particularly high for the Novice 5 team who have recently been promoted from their beginner division. A deflating four losses in a row for the Novice 5s proved to be particularly disappointing, however they will be taking the lessons learned on the pitch into their up coming National League fixtures in which they continue to be successful.

Newcastle Novice 2s had greater success putting in some impressive performances in a particularly tough category and against many well established team such as St. Andrews and Brighton. After a disappointing start to the tournament with a narrow 1-0 defeat to St. Andrews they came back with a well deserved 4-2 win over Bath Spa.

season. A win is always a very welcome bonus.’

making it down the course and earning valuable points for the club.

BUCS slalom was the final competition in the club’s calendar for the year, but they will be still regularly visiting the

Barrage and improving the skills that

MVP: Nick Bennett

Ben Smith (front) and Dan Leicester (back) in the C2 Image: Tom Clare Photography

Polo put in SUPA performances Polo

By Jess Rea at Rugby Onley Polo Club Last week saw the return of the annual Winter National Polo Championships, and Newcastle University Polo Club were in amongst the action. This year the polo governing body, SUPA, are celebrating their Jubilee year and in honour of this anniversary Winter Nationals was the biggest competition to date.

Rugby Onley Polo Club hosted over 160 University teams from across the country as they gathered fir an event which has become a highlight of their sporting calendar. Competitors included Oxford, Cambridge and teams from as far north as St. Andrews and as far south as Exeter. Of course, Newcastle sent two Novice teams to be part of the action which ran over an impressive four days, from Thursday 9th February to Sunday 12th February.

Despite some frosty weather and the odd snow shower, play went ahead without a hitch. During the winter season matches are played in an arena with a sand surface rather than the grass pitches which are more commonly associated to polo. This is due to wet weather often water logging the pitches and making them too dangerous for both horse and rider to play on. The indoor arena at Onley is an added bonus which enables multiple matches to be held simultaneously, both indoors and outdoors, as well as safeguarding play against bad weather.

The standard of play was exceptionally high and the weekend proved to be challenging for both Novice teams sent

The team demonstrated tried and tested set plays and slick stick and ball skills to earn their win. Speaking on their performance, Novice 2 team captain and club secretary, Cameron Turner said, ‘Winter Nations is always a great weekend for all the teams involved and everyone has put in some impressive performances. The teams we are against here are well established teams and always push us to our limit, but this is great encouragement and we always come out a better team for it. We can always use what we learn here in future fixtures as we move into the summer

“The Twitter love affair continued and cupid made a match” But it appears that a win was not all they took from the pitch. Love was in the air at Winter Nationals and it seems

cupid made an early appearance. Newcastle maintained their reputation as one of the most pleasant teams on the field and Brighton University congratulated Newcastle on their good sportsmanship and impressive play after the match.

The Twitter love affair continued and cupid made a match between ‘a friend’ of Brighton and the Newcastle number 3. Who knew cupid was operating via

the medium of twitter these days.

So despite a few disappointing results, not all was lost for Newcastle Polo Club.

MVP:

Cameron Turner

Newcastle were on form at winter Nationals Image: SUPA

Sport

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STAN CALVERT ROWING P.37

www.thecourieronline.co.uk Monday 20 February 2017 Issue 1345 Free

Sports Editors: Lucy Brogden, Tom Shrimplin & James Sproston courier.sport@ncl.ac.uk Twitter: @Courier_Sport | Instagram: thecouriersport

POLO SUPA NATIONALS, P.39

BUCS CANOE SLALOM, P.39 The Darts society celebrate as Dan Adams scoops top prize Image: Daniel Knight

Darts on target for top prize Darts

By Chris Walton at York Eight optimistic Newcastle University Darts Society hopefuls made the trip down to York for the annual Northern Universities Darts League singles tournament, with the day getting off to a great start with one team member hungover and two others hiding in train toilets to avoid a fare.

Randomly drawn into groups of up to eight, second-year NUDS secretary Joe Hopkins flew out of the blocks, winning all 5 of his opening games to pretty much guarantee a spot in the last 32, hitting an impressive 104 checkout along the way.

Masters student Luke Whittaker and Newcastle alumni Tom Brown were drawn together and faced the prospect

of a difficult day, and ultimately this proved too much for Luke despite his best efforts, with Tom scraping through to a playoff as one of the best third/ fourth place finishers, which he won.

Another Masters student Mark Dickinson stormed through his group, winning all seven of his games and producing an exceptional 140 (T20, D20, D20) checkout in the process; although this was not enough to win the highest checkout competition, with one competitor taking the prize with a 151.

It looked like it could be a terrible day for NUDS’ Treasurer Dan “Martin” Adams, who was pummelled in his first game in quick time. However, he rallied well to win all six of his remaining games to top his group.

Third-year Maduka etc. looked to have the worst group of all, with 2016 UDUK Big Weekender winner Andy Kent and former York 1st Team Cap-

tain Fred Evans drawn together with him. As it transpired, the Sri Lankan produced a sterling display, including a vital 105 checkout, to finish third and reach the last 32 via a playoff.

Second-year maths students Jack Almond and Chris Walton both fared well in their respective groups, with both reaching the last 32, the latter via a playoff. The last 32 was where it ended for four of NUDS’ remaining seven participants, although Joe Hopkins produced a valiant display in his match to lose 2-3.

Despite reaching the stage where prize money was offered, it was a bittersweet feeling for Newcastle as the last 16 pitted incumbent NUDS’ President Jack Almond against the man he succeeded, Mark Dickinson. His experience showed as he breezed through 3-1 to reach the quarter-finals, which would be played on the main stage.

Thankfully the draw for the quarters

kept apart Mark and Dan, who had also eased through his own match to reach the same stage and was beginning to show some incredible form.

“Into the semis, an increasingly inebriated Dan was given a much tougher ride by Nottingham”

He carried this form into his match against Loughborough’s Ben Hallam in an incredible 4-0 whitewash that saw Dan hit two 180s and finish with a match average of 75.15; it was an unbelievable performance that got everybody’s attention and rightly marked him out as the favourite to win the tournament.

However, despite the most passionate of support from the Newcastle con-

tingent, the stage proved too much for Mark, who was well beaten by Sheffield University Captain Adam Warner.

Into the semis, and an increasingly inebriated Dan was given a much tougher ride by Nottingham University’s Richard Forsyth. Not to be fazed though, Dan cruised through in convincing fashion to set up a final against Adam Warner, who of course had knocked out Mark in the quarters.

What followed will go down in NUDS history, as Dan saw off a spirited challenge from Warner to secure a 5-3 win, and the £120 top prize, with a 60 checkout to send the Newcastle faithful into raptures. An impromptu stage invasion followed as NUDS’ players celebrated together with the champion.

It was a thoroughly deserved outcome for the man from Stoke, who was a class above the other competitors that day, hitting seven 180s.