This bookis dedicated to Kaylee, Emily, Taylor, Jordon, Melanie, Jamie, Jennifer, Hannah, Donna and the whole “Project Protheka”family.Thanksforbelievingintheworld.
Myla and I walk up flights and flights of bland stone stairs The air is heavy with smoke fromthe fires in every classroom,nicelittleatmospherepiecesfortheelveswhocancoolthemselveswithmagicbutunbearableforthoseofus whohavetoenduretheheat.Itmakesbreathingchallengingatpoints,andIheaveandraspasIstruggleupthestairs.
Isee mymother, planted inbed and unable to leave. Ina momentofturmoil, Iamtransported backto thatdamp, dreary bedroom,wherehersterngazeplantsitselfuponme,andmyfeetarestuntedinplace,trapped.
Images of my mother, decaying in real-time, flash in my eyes I can see Miss Rose and know that she expects me to apologize,butmymouthisunabletoformsolidwords,acoldsweatpouringdownmyforehead.
“Utterlyuseless,”MissRoseadmonishes.“Well,you’rebothfiveminuteslate,soyou’llhavetobedisciplinedlater.” We bothtrail her pastthe emptyrooms and cracklingfireplaces backinto her classroom. The girls all stare atus as we enter.Theirblank,relentlessgazespushmetorecoil,remindingmeofmymother.
“Verygood, Lis!” Miss Rose slaps the switchonto a diagramonthe chalkboard. “Yes, as youknow, elves are far more physicallypresentthanhumans They’rebulkierandfartaller Thatmeans,ashumanwomen,youneedtobemorephysically resoluteandstrong.”
Andwhenwetalk,Miss Roseremoves our abilitytospeak,sometimes encasingus inaconeofsilence,andother times removingourmouthsentirely
“Now, ladies,” Miss Rose often says before resorting to extreme measures. “I’m sure you all have interesting conversations ButIexpectopenmindsandopenears”
MissRoseguidesmetoaseat,andI’mgratefulthatatleastthistime,she’snottakingmebacktoheroffice Simplysitting downbecomespainfulafter those meetings,muchlesskeepingaproperposture.
Myvoicecracks “I’msorry,MissRose” She sighs. “I’mmostlythinkingabout your happiness, and your mate’s, ofcourse,” she says. “What would your partner thinkofyourpunctualityproblems?”
Inmydefense,though,Ithinkthatfear is there everytime,nomatter how manytimes it’s provenredundant Isleepvery little,dreadingthatI’llbechosen,onlytofindoutthatonceagain,Icanfallasleepsoundly,droolingonmypillow.
“Doyourbest,”IthinkIhearherwhisper. EvenifIdesperatelydon’twanttobeselected EvenifIknowthatI’mnotgoingtobechosenbecauseLishasclearlyalreadybeentoldasmuch… Ican’tblow this Iknow whatMiss Rose is capable ofshould she find outIamintentionallysabotagingmyselfand her business.
“Nah,it’sokay,”Thirixionsays.“There’snothingbetterthanbreakinginashy,innocentvirgin.Standupforme.” I stand without hesitation, thinking that he wants to look over my body before making an offer. Humiliation stains my cheeks
Iwonderifitwasthisunpleasantforallthegirls,orifhe’sjustsingledmeoutinparticularforsomereason Giventhatthere’s little aboutme that’s special, I’mchoosingto believe thatall ofthe girls had to endure this, and that calms me somewhat There’s some strength in solidarity Later on, maybe we’ll get to discuss this and talk about how ridiculousthismanis.
That’s aboutwhenIhear Julia roll over andsitupright.Ifigure she’s goingtotell us offfor talking,sinceshe’s beenso desperatelytryingtosleep Buttherearetearsinhereyesagain
IfMissRoseisoutside,theonlyexplanationisthatshe’slookingtopunishoneofus,maybeallofus Fantastic job, girl,Ihearhersarcastic,wickedvoicesaying. You failed to turn a profit for me again! MymusclestenseasIconcealmyselfunderneathmyblanket
Atfirst,thefootstepsstop,andIwonderifmaybewejustimaginedthenoise,orifMissRosehaschangedhermind. But the door swings open, and before I understand what’s happening, a glowing orb appears, illuminating the room magically.
Iamroused bythe undulatingpull of beinglifted. I roll stiffly, waitingfor the movement to stop before I openmyeyes. Throughthehundredfacetsofmycrystalprison,Iseeherliftmetoherneckandfastenmeintoplace Sheisbeautiful
We floatthroughthe air, stoppingto speakwiththe other females thatpopulate this place. Iamaware onlyofdistorted wordsandimagesthroughthesethick,glacialwalls Facesarestretchedandvoiceswarble
Thelightshiftsforamoment,strikingpainfullyacrossmyvision.Whenitisgone,wearesomewheredifferent.“Whereare we,Melantha?”Icall her Melantha,“darkflower,”becauseIhavenever heardher name I’msureothershavesaidit,butit hasnotreachedmehere.
The beatingtones grow louder inmyears, more insistent Anelongated figure approaches us and speaks indulcettones withsharpedges.ThebitterwineofMelantha’sanxietyflowsfreelyintomychasm.Icansmellit.Icantasteit.Itssmoothness oilsintomybelly,intoxicating.
The morningwears into the afternoon. The dullness of Melantha’s dailyrituals bleeds me dry. I make sport of sending minorcursesthroughthewallstoseehow farIcanthrow them.Mostpingofftheglossysurfacesandhitmelikesparksthat fizzleout.
Faces multiplyonce againas she leaves the roomandjoins a processionintoa dininghall Ihave never understoodthis partofMelantha’s existence. She spends hours eachdaygainingenergyfromorganic matter and the mindless chatter ofher peers.
“Melantha,explainthis tome,”Icommandfruitlessly Whydoesn’tshelisten?Evenifshecannothear me,itis as ifher brainisinuredtomyinfluence.Howdoesshehandletheoverwhelmingpowerofmypresence?
The rare moments of happiness Melantha experiences are during these times of sustenance. She feels nothing in small bursts.Everybitasintoxicatingandintenseasherfearandsadness,herpleasureisasweetcordialthatenvelopsmeinitssoft embrace
“What’s happening?” Suddenly, Melantha’s anxietyfloods me withsensationyetagain, butthis time it’s different Sharp needlesofterrorraindownonme,andIattempttofeelthenewpresencethroughtheintensityofheremotions.
“Do not talkto him,” I command. “Youdo not have to talkto him. Youdo not belongto him. Youbelongto me.” My soothingwordsarecutoffbyatorrentfromtheLongOne,manytermsdirectedatthemale Her speechis meanttocontrol as always,butthe male does notcower atthemthe wayMelantha andthe other girls do. Instead,hisdomineeringpridebristlesfromhim,fallingacrossmeinabarrage.
Instead, I imagine myfingers curlingaround his throat, the front of his trachea meetingthe backas I trap the air inhis windpipe.Hislungswillburstunderthestrain,andIwillreachintohischestwithmyclaws,tearingthroughhisflesh… I am shaken from my reverie by the struggle I rock back and forth on my chain, trying to get an angle to behold the obscenitybeforeme.TheinsolentfoolhaslaidhishandsuponmyBearer.
Suddenly, I felt something welling up frommy stomach. Thinking I was going to vomit, I raised my hand to ask to be excused.WhenProfessorAndrasacknowledgedme,however,ayawnburstoutofmymouth.
EveryoneinclasseruptedintopealsoflaughterasIescapedtothewashroominmortification How am I to live like this? Ithought. How bad will my condition get before they send me away to die of starvation in some forgotten corner of an underground cell built to house the insane?
“Stand,” she commands when I reach my former position Commands to sit and stay follow I keep my eyes forward, prayingtoallthegodsthatThirixonwillfindaflawandletmegosoon.
MissRoseknowswecanallspeakthelanguage,butsheinsistsonthisstrangeroutinewithallofherseriousclients.She calls it a “test run,” ostensibly to see just how much humiliation she can heap upon us without a show of embarrassment Unfortunately,Iamwelladjustedtothis.
“On the contrary, we put all our girls through rigorous diet and exercise, ideal for bearing young.” Miss Rose is ever defensiveconcerningthequalityofherproduct “Noticethebloomofhealthontheskinandtheclarityoftheeyes”
“Ah, yes, youwere about to be a good little girl and give me a dance.” He holds the knife to mythroat and gives the command “Dance,Rachel!”
Tears are fallingdownmycheeks, and Ibarelynotice thatmyextremities have gone numb. Ifocus onthe designofthe wallpaperandtrytomovemyhipsbackandforth Atthesensationofhimhardeningunderneathme,somethinginsidemesnaps andIgocold.
He holds up the knife, butIdon’tcare. He gets smaller and bigger repeatedlylike he’s shakingme backand forth, butI
can’tfeel it. He tears the necklace offmyneck, and IthinkIsee itburstinto a milliondustyshards, a blackcloud ofmist growingfromitscenter. It’sfinallyhappened Mymother’sinsanityhascomeuponme,andIfeelnothing Isinkintooblivion
DAKKA
The smokey black mist spreads out, weaving into my true essence. The muscles in my body stretch and grow quickly enoughformetorealizemytrueform Myskinisdarkandshadowy Asigntoeverylivingbeingofmyimmensepower
Juttingoutfrommylower back, Ifeel myeleganttail reformand swaygracefully. The contours ofmybodywould makeeventheapexofmortalsweepwithenvy.Thehornsonmyheadtakeshapeaswell,curlingaroundbeautifully.
Asdarkelvesgo,hisskinmayhavealreadybeenadarkpurplishgray,butasIholdhimuphisfacegrowsdarker.Hislips slowly lose color I squeeze even tighter around his throat to watch him thrash about However, I grow bored of simply suffocatinghim.
I will be with you shortly, my dear, Imuse to myself As muchas Iwant to simplyscoop her up and take her away, a penance must be paid. The punishment of this elf is nothingmore thana message to anyone who dares to eventhinkabout harmingmyMelantha.
ThisisthefirsttimesinceIcanrememberthatIhavebeenletoutofmycage,thenecklace.Icanfinallystretchmylimbs and let loose unimpeded. I notice in his eyes that, despite the blunt force trauma to his skull, the dark elf clings to consciousness
“Ohgods!” Melantha screams “Stop it! Please!” Her voice is nothingbut a whimper at this point She tries to scream again,butnothingcancomeout.Hervoicecracksandbreakswitheveryword.
Atthispoint,Ilurchoverthebodyoftheman.Myclawsdigintohissoftflesh.Ihadforgottenthefeelingofrippinginto muscle tissue, and the crunchthat the bones made as theybroke betweenmyhands. I can’t remember a time whenI got to performsuchatask,butit’simmediatelyfamiliarandcomforting,soIknowthatIhad
Blood and sinew spew fromhis bodywitheverytear and pull. His innards are strewnaboutas Irip themapart. Nota singlebitofhimshouldbeleft Liketwigs,Iripaparthisribcageanddigthroughthebodyofthisfoul creature Ittakesme littletimetofindhisheart.
Partofmeissurprisedatdiscoveringitatall Iwasunawareanyoneother thanmyMelanthatrulyhadone Her heartis mine, as she is, butthis one should no longer be allowed to exist. Like a weakbodied fruit, Icrushthe organbetweenmy fingers.Bloodflieseverywhere.
The muscle fibers around his shoulders tear easily, and the bones pop rightoutofthe sockets The sightreminds me of woodentoysmyMelanthausedtoplaywith.Howtheirbodiesbrokefromthejoints.
Ican’tbear to lookuponhis lifeless face anylonger Like the wall before, Igrab his head betweenbothmyhands and smashthethickskulloftheelfdownintotheground.Thefurcarpetbeneathhimisnotenoughtoprotecthisheadfromharm.
I don’t remember exactlywhat specificallyI did that brought the moment of death, or if he simplybled out, died from shock,orwhatever.Isupposethedetailsmatterlittlewhendealingwithacorpse.
She just needs a loving touch, to reassure her IreachmyhandsouttoherbutasIdo,thebloodonthemsplattersontoher. Ilookdownatmyhandsagainastheydripwiththebloodoftheelf
“Well,thisisgoingtoneedagoodclean Idon’tthinktherugwillmakeit” Shetiltsherheadassheexamineswhat’sleftofThirixon.Bodypartsarespreadacrosstheroom,bloodandgoresmearing the walls,furniture,andfloor like a failedpaintingexercise The metallic scentofbloodmixes withthe unpleasantsmell of rupturedbowels,sittingatthebackofmythroatandmakingmewanttovomit.
“Well, that is a complication. We wouldn’t want word to get out about this. Bad for business, and I have so many appointmentscomingupandsomanygirlstogetridof.I’llneedtogettheboystostageanaccident.Yes,arobberyshouldbe plausibleenough”
“Idon’tknow whathappened,MissRose Onesecond,hewastryingtokissme Mynecklacebroke,andthentherewas this shadowy… thing… that appeared and started, um, well…” I gesture to the mess in the room, not quite sure how to articulatethechaosthatcausedit
Icanhear how insane itsounds, and Icringe, waitingfor her to yell atme for spoutingnonsense like she usuallydoes. Instead, she tilts her head to the side, studyingme. There are a few splatters ofblood onme fromwhenthe creature came towardsme ButI’mmuchcleaner thantherestoftheroom,asIwasmostlyshelteredfromthecarnage Irecall thewaythe monsterwascoveredinThirixon’sblood,thedarkliquiddrippingfromitsclaws,andshudder.
MissRosedismissesme,andmysuspicionsareconfirmedwhenIhearhurriedfootstepsrunningaheadofmeupthestairs. WhenIenteroursharedbedroom,IseeElindinesettlingdownonherbed,herbreathshort MylaandLisareontheirown beds, bothlookinga bitpale. Lis clutches a pillow like it’s goingto save her fromharm, and Myla has her arms wrapped around herself The single bulb onthe ceilingcasts a faint light over the depressingbedroom, makingthe beige walls and furniturelookevenmoredreary.
I have to consciously stop myself fromrolling my eyes at her childlike reaction What I saw in there is definitely not somethingtobeexcitedabout,andIimaginethatwhenIclosemyeyestogotosleep,Iwillberelivingitinallitsgorydetails. Lisgaspsandturnstomewithwideeyes Mylafrownsonherbednexttome It’sclearthat,likeme,shehasn’theardof thereaperbefore.
Isigh Mydreamsoftakingashowerandgoingstraighttosleepareclearlyjustthat Istareatthespecksofbloodonmy arms and bite mylip. I’mstill shiveringslightly, the shocknothavingworked itselfoutyet, and Itake a deep breathbefore meetingMyla’seyes
Elindine giggles and covers her face as if I’mreadingher a romantic novel instead of tellinga real-life horror story I frownbutdecidetogettherestofthestoryout.I’mhopingthatifIsayitoutloud,itwilllessentheturmoilthat’srunningwild inmyhead.
“Anyway,itfell,andthegemjust…cracked,andsuddenlytherewasastreamofshadowcomingfromit.Itshapedintoa man-likethingandjuststartedrippingThirixonapart I Icouldn’twatchmostofit,andIwassoscared,Icouldn’tmakea sound.”
Ifinallytear mygaze awayfromthe window andlookatmyroommates Lis has a handover her mouth,tears streaming downherface,andIcanseeshe’sbarelykeepingittogether.Elindineisstaringatmewithhermouthajar,andMyla’seyesare wide,herhandgrippingminetightlyinfear
I will seek her out. I must figure out how to pry her away from this place eventually.
Mymind made up, I beginto seekout her room, navigatingthe underground labyrinthbysmell and the tenuous mental connectionleftover frommytime trapped inthat necklace. Ihave a faint sense ofwhere she is at all times, evenifIcan’t pinpointherexactly.
After a few minutes, Ifind anold woodendoor standinghalfopeninthe wall ofthe tunnel. The hinges appear to have rusted over completely, butthe door is cracked openenoughfor me to squeeze through. Inside, Ifind a setofwornwooden stepscoveredinathicklayerofdust
FromwhatIcantell, this staircase is builtinto the walls ofthe old building. “Itwas likelymeantfor servants to move about without inflicting their masters with the unseemly sight of a dirty load of rags or undergarments being taken to the washrooms,”Ipresume.“Veryclever.”
Lightspills throughthe gaps betweenwall panels, affordingme a view ofthe steps andthe emptysconces onthe walls, most ofthemcovered inintricate cobwebs Isense Rachel’s presence growingstronger the higher Iclimb, and after a few minutes,thesoundofexcitedwhispersbeginstoechothroughthestaircase.
Suddenly,Igetabigwhiffofherscentandstop,peeringthroughacrackinthewall.Standinginfrontofadirtyoldmirror, runningabrushthroughherchestnuthair,ismyMelantha Rachel I must remember her name
She senses me.She’slookingrightatmenow,butIknowshecan’tseeme.Slowly,sheturnsaroundtostaredirectlyatmy hidingplace,lookingterrified Thetemptationtocall outtoherisoverwhelming,butIstuffitdown Iworryshe’ll freakout againanddrawattentiontome.
Too soon, Ithink I must find her alone where she won’t be able to alert anyone else to my presence Those prattling girls would come running at the first hint of a disturbance.
IconsiderrippingthewallpanelsoffinthatroomsoIcandojustthat,butIfearthenoisewouldalerttheothers.Refusing to give up so easily, Istartmemorizingthe routine inthe house Iwatchthe servants, the elves, the girls, and everyone who regularlyshowsup,makingcarefulmentalnotesofwheretheygointhehouseandwhen.
All thewhile,IcontinuedoingmybesttosendRachel comfortthroughour bond.Sheseemsincreasinglyparanoidevery day,andIdon’twanttomake things anyworsefor her.Ifear mymethods are notworking, though,as she onlyseems to get moreandmorefrazzledastimegoeson
“I’lltakeyoursifyoudon’twantit,”Rachel’ssoftvoicesayshopefully “Pleasedo,Ican’tstomachanotherdropofthis.” “Tizretismyfavorite,”Rachelsaysoverthescrapingofacupslidingacrossthetable. Ismiletomyselfatthis Finally,Ithink Something I can give her that I know she will like Withoutstayingtohear the restoftheirconversation,Islinkbackintothetunnels,planscomingtogetherquicklyinmyheadasIstepbackintotheempty darknessbelowthebuilding
RACHEL
o you think the reaper is coming back?” Elindine gushes. The usual four sit around the table and talk about what transpiredtheotherday “Iheardthatthelastschoolhevisitedburnedtotheground”
Myla laughs. “I heard that he attacks hardest when everyone’s asleep and can cut the throat of everyone in the buildingwithasingleswipe,”shesaysgrotesquely.
“That’s enough, girls,” she commands, and the room quiets down Apparently, we weren’t the only ones discussing Thirixon’sdemise.
When it comes time for bed, I feel an odd sensation prickling the hair on the back of my neck. I can feel the monster watchingme,butIcan’tseehim.Thedraftofcoldthatseemstofollowmearoundisunnerving.
Inmydreams,IsitintheparlorwithThirixonandsubmittohishatefulattentionwhileafireburnsinthehearthacrossthe room Funny, I don’t remember a grate in the sitting room,IthinkasThirixonstrokesmyhair “Glossy,”hesays “ButIthink I’llcutit.”
Onethingiscertain.Ihavetostayvigilant.Somehow,themonsterhassingledmeout,whichmeansitcouldhavebeenthe thingplaguingmymother inher final days Inher fits, she had spokenofanangel ofdeath Could this thing, this reaper, be Deathitself?
Between classes and after dark, I stray from my well-worn paths, opening unlocked doors, knocking on locked ones, peeringaroundcorners,andventuringintohiddenhallways
The firstnight, I’msure Iwill getdragged into Miss Rose’s office and whipped, butshe muststill be busydealingwith Thirixon’sdeath.Inordertosellherstoryaboutthecarriageaccident,shewillhavesomeseriouscleaningandbribingtodo andsomeextensiveliestofabricate.
Tiptoeingfromone end of the school to the other, I still can’t bringmyself to walkinto the parlor where it happened. Approachingthedarkdoorway,Ipeekthroughandforcemyselftostayuntilmyeyesadjust “Areyouthere?”Iwhisper Nothinghappens.Clearingmythroat,Icursemyselfformycowardice.“Areyouthere?”Imakemyselfcallintothevoid. “Areyouthere?”Icalllouderwhennoresponseisevident.
“Ha!” I murmur, and then I shout it “Ha, ha, ha!” Listening to the silence for a long moment, I wonder why I thought impudencewouldelicitanangryresponse.Atthisrate,allI’llachieveisgettingwhippedbyMissRoseifIwakeherinstead. UnsurewhatmyplanisifIangerthemonster,thethoughtsendsmequicklybacktobed Shimmyingdownunderthecovers, Ilaymyheadonthepillowandwinceasitstrikessomethingsharpandknobby.
Lookingfrombed to bed, Ifind no evidence thatanyofthe other girls have beenawake since Ileft. Thatofitselfis no proof,butI’mnotsurewhatexactlytheprankwouldbe Giftingmewithfruitishardlymuchofajoke
Buthavingeliminated everyone inthe school, there remains onlyone person– canIcall ita person? – who could have givenmethistizretfruit.“Whereareyou?”Ihissintothedarkness.Asusual,there’snoanswer.
