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ThePerfectHeart UnspokenSecretsSeries,Volume1 LexyTimms
PublishedbyDarkShadowPublishing,2024
Thisisaworkoffiction.Similaritiestorealpeople,places,oreventsareentirelycoincidental.
THEPERFECTHEART Firstedition.January4,2024.
Copyright©2024LexyTimms.
WrittenbyLexyTimms.
UNSPOKENSECRETSSERIES BYLEXYTIMMS @COPYRIGHT2024byLexyTimms
ALLRIGHTSRESERVED Nopartofthispublicationmay bereproduced,storedinorintroducedintoaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inany form,orby any means(electronic,mechanical,photocopying, recording,orotherwise)withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofboththecopyrightownerandtheabovepublisherofthisbook Thisisaworkoffiction Names,characters,places,brands,media,andincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously Any resemblancetoanactualperson,livingor dead,events,orlocalesisentirely coincidental Theauthoracknowledgesthetrademarkedstatusandtrademarkownersofvariousproductsreferencedinthisworkoffiction,whichhavebeenusedwithout permission Thepublication/useofthesetrademarksisnotauthorized,associatedwith,orsponsoredby thetrademarkowners Allrights reserved.
ThePerfectHeart
UnspokenSecretsSeriesBook#1
Copyright2024
ByLexyTimms
Coverby:BookCoverbyDesign
UNSPOKEN SECRETS SERIES Book1–ThePerfectHeart
Book2–AHeart’sJourney
Book3–TheHeart’sSecret
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THE PERFECT HEART BLURB YOUWILLNEVERBEGOODenoughforthewrongperson... MybestfriendandIwereinseparableinschool
Untilshemovedawaytofollowherdreamsanddisappearedfrommylifeentirely Butnowshe’sback,explodingintomylifeandturningitonitshead Worse,Ican’thelpbutfeelattractedtoher,somethingI’veneverfeltbefore Butsheisn’tthegirlfromhighschoolanymore She’sawoman AwomanwithsecretsthatmightjustdestroythelifeI’vebuiltformyself
UnspokenSecretsSeries
FindLexyTimms:
ThePerfectHeartBlurb
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
UnspokenSecretsSeries
DeadAheadFREECOPY
FindLexyTimms: FREEREADS?
MorebyLexyTimms:
CONTENTS “’NIGHT,NASH.”
Ilookedupfromtryingtoforcethekeyintothestubbornlockthatkeptthestackedtables,chairs,andheatlampsfrom mysteriouslywalkingawaytoseeoneofmyserverswaving Iwavedbackattheyoungwoman,noddingatherfriendwho waiteddownthesidewalk.
“Seeyatomorrow,Angie.Takecareonthewayhome.” “Willdo.”
Angiepulledherfaux-fur-linedhoodoverherhead,stuffedherhandsintothepocketsofherparka,andjoinedherfriend.I couldheartheirlowconversationastheytrudgeddowntheemptysidewalk,pastthedarkstorefronts,theirbootscrunching overthesnow.
Withafinalcurseundermybreath,lettingoutwhitepuffsintotheair,thekeyfinallyslippedintothelock,whichItwisted withasatisfyingclick beforestraighteningtostretchmyback.
ThestreetlightsandstringsoflightoutliningthebuildingsalongFrontStreetweretheonlylightsourcethislateatnight. Closingtimeformybarwaslongaftertheotherstores,restaurants,andbrewerieshadclosed.ButIenjoyedthequietand peaceafteradayfullofpeoplewhocameforthearchitecture,thelights,thesnow,thefood,andthecurioshops.
Checkingtoensurethelockwassecure,Idroppedthekeybackintomypocketandwalkedbackinside,glancingupatthe woodensignoverthedoorwiththename Tipsy Tiki inincongruous,scrolledlettering.HereinLeavenworth,Washington, everystoreandrestaurantwasrequiredtohaveasignoutfrontthatmatchedthetown’sBavarianvillagetheme.
Ihadgrownuphere,andwhenIhadboughtanoldbaronitswayouttomakeitmyown,myslightlyperversenaturehad comeupwiththetropicalnametogohereinsnowy,alpineLeavenworth.Peoplegotagoodlaugh,especiallythetourists,but forthemostpart,noonecared.Ididn’tevenservetropicalcocktails nomorethananyoneelse,anyway justtheregular assortmentofmostlylocalwineandbeers.Themenuwassolidlybarfood,thoughitwasgoodbarfood,ifIdidsaysomyself.
Thenamewasmypersonaljoke,andIgrinnedasIreturnedinside.
Angiehadwipeddownmostofthebar,butIcouldseeafewspotsonthewood,highlypolishedandsmoothfromyearsof use,fromdecadesofpatronsleaningtheirarmsonthesurface,seasonafterseason.Ibenttograbapolishingclothandheard thedoorcreakopen,alongwiththefaintding fromthealarmpanelinmyoffice.
Istopped hadn’tIlockedthedoorbehindme?ButwhenIthoughtback,Icouldn’tremember.I’dbeentoofocusedon enjoyingmyjoke.
“We’reclosed ”Istarted,straighteningwiththeclothinhand,“butweopenatnoontomorrowfor ” Therestofthesentenceevaporatedfrommymind,lostthesecondmygazefellonthefigureoutlinedbythestreetlights outside.
Itwasawoman,tallandslimandentirely,startinglyfamiliar.Theentirepicturewasenoughtowipewordsfrommymind completely.
“Doyouwantmetocomebacktomorrow?”sheasked,pointingbacktothedoor.Hertonesaidshewasjoking,butithad anedgeofuncertaintylikeshewasexpectingmetothrowherout.
Itookabreathtotalk,butthewordsstillwouldn’tcome,andtheexpressiononthewoman’sfaceslippedmoreinto uncertainty IimaginedthatifIdidn’tsayanything,shewoulddecideforherselfandleave Thatthought,thankfully,jumpstartedmybrain.
“Halle?”
Alittlebit,anyway.Itwasn’tthemostintelligentwaytostartaconversationwithsomeoneyouhadn’tseeninyears. Butshedidn’tseemtomind,asmilegrowingonherface thatbright,beautifulsmileIhadmissedsomuch.
“Hey,Nash.”Thedoorswungshutbehindher,andshestartedacrosstheroom.
Iwasoutbehindthebarthenextheartbeat,meetingherhalfway,juststoppingmyselffromengulfingherinanenormous bearhug.
Westoodlikethatforalongmoment,takingeachotherin.Iwasstilltryingtogetoverthefactthatshewashere,inthe flesh,andthiswasn’tsomebizarredream.
ThewomanbeforemewasthesamewomanIrememberedinhighschool willowy,longlegs,anddarkhaircascadingin wavesaroundhershouldersanddownherback.Chocolatebrowneyeswatchedmeinturn,thesamewarmthandamused sparkleinherchocolatebrowneyes,aflickerofamusementalwaysdancingaroundonecornerofhersmile.
“HalleMorris.OrIguessit’sJonesnow.”
Hersmilefalteredforaheartbeat,sofastIwasn’tsureIhadseenit,beforebrighteningagain.
“NashJacobs”
Justthesoundofmynamefromherlipssentanothershockoftimedisplacementthroughme
“SoMomsaidyoufinallyboughtthatbar Ididn’tquitebelieveituntilthismoment”
Hergazemovedaroundthespace,takinginallthewaysIhadmadeitmine thepostersonthewallsoftheindiebandswe hadlistenedtoinhighschool,thetablesandchairsI’drestoredmyself,thedartboardthathadatonetimehunginmyroom,the oneHallehadusedtobeatmesoundlynearlyeverygameweplayed
Whenherattentioncamebacktome,hersmileglowedwithwarmaffection
“Iknewyouwoulddoit,”shesaid “Iknewyouwouldopenthisbar” Ilaughed “Youdid?”
Halleshookherhead,huffingalaugh “Ofcourse Youalwaysknewwhatyouwantedtodo Itwasyourdreamandallyou talkedaboutinhighschool.WhenMomtoldmeyouhadboughttheoldBrewer’sKettle,Idrankatoasttoyou,bytheway.”
Mylaughbecameagrin,andIgesturedovermyshoulderwithajerkofmythumb.“Iknowit’slate,butyouwanttotoast togethernow?”
TherewasanotherheartbeatofhesitationIdidn’tunderstandbeforeHallenodded,thewarmthinhersmilenotquite reachinghereyes.“Sure.I’dlovethat.”
Herheelsclickedontheoldwoodofthefloorasshefollowedmetothebar,slidingontooneofthestoolsasIreachedfor oneofmybestwhiskies
“Sowhatareyoudoinghere?”Inearlyaskedwhatshewasdoinginthoseclothesbutmanagedtoholdmytongueatthelast second,focusinginsteadonpouringtheamberliquidintoashotglass.
“Oh,justvisiting”wastheanswer.IlookedupjustintimetoseeHalle’sgazedroptothescratchedwoodofthebar,her fingerrunningupanddownaparticularlydeepgougebeforehereyesmetmineagain Itwasanoddlyvagueanswer,especially
becauseshehadnoonetovisit.Hermotherhadmovedoutofstatefiveyearsbefore.
Insteadofpushingformoreofananswer,Islidtheshotglassacrossthebarandpouredoneformyself,whichIheldup. Halleclinkedherglassagainstmine,andwebothtippedthemback
Thewhiskey’sfirestillburningdownmythroat,ItookthemomenttolookatHalle,betterlitbythebarlights,andwas surprisedatthechangestheyearshadcreated.
Irecognizedthewomanfromhighschool,thegirlwhohadbeenmybestfriend,withwhomIhadspentalmostevery wakingmoment ButIcouldalsoseethephysicalmaturity,thewayanyremainingchildhoodroundnesshadfadedfromherface toleavesharperangles,evenanoddgauntnessthathadn’tbeentherebefore.Halle’sgazeechoedthebubblinessIhadknown inhighschool,alwaysreadyforalaugh,replacedwithamorematuresolemnity
“Youstayingcloseby?”Iasked,pouringmorewhiskeyintoherglass Shethankedmewithanothersmallsmile “Ish,”sheanswered,throwingbackhersecondshot “Icameherefirst”
InearlychokedontheshotIhadjusttakenandwipedatmymouthwiththebackofmyhandtocovermysurprise “You cameherefirst?”
Halleshrugged.“IthoughtmaybeIcouldmakeitbeforeyouclosed,justtosayhi.”
OnemoreshotwentdownsmoothlybecauseIhadnoideawhattomakeofthissituation,andHalle’snon-answersweren’t helping
“I’lltakeonemore,too”Hallepushedherglasstowardmeandknockeditbackalittletoofast
Icouldn’thelpit shehadraisedtheglasswithherlefthand,andmyeyeswenttoherweddingset,theband,andthe diamond.Buttherewasnothingthere,onlyalighterbandofskin.
Foramoment,Ialmostasked,butinsteadthegoosebumpsonherarmscaughtmyeye.
“Youlookcold.”
“IforgotmycoatbackwhereI’mstaying.”
Thatdidn’tlooklikeshehadforgottenanything.Heroutfit,askimpyjacket,adress,andheels,wasentirelywrongforthe weatherhere,whichsomeonewhohadgrownupinLeavenworthwouldknow Noone“justforgot”theircoatbeforegoingout hereinwinter.
Wasitthateasytoforgetwhenyouleftforwarmerclimates?
Ididn’tmentionherfreshlyscrapedknees,either,orthatsheseemedtohaveforgottenherstorythatshehadstoppedhere first,givinghernoplacetojust“leavehercoat”
Somethingwasn’taddingup,butIdidn’tknowthewomanbeforemewellenoughtoask.Atonetime,Iwouldhave,butnot today.Notnow.
“Okay,holdup.Don’tmove.”Iheldmyfingerup,theuniversalsignaltowait,anddashedintotheback,whereIkeptthe lostandfoundbox.IpulledoutacoatthatlookedlikeitmightfitHalle,onethathadbeentheresolongIwassurenoone wouldcomebacktolookforit,andtwomismatchedgloves.Isnaggedaknittedbeanieonthewaybackandheldalltheclothes outtoher
Hereyebrowsroseslightlyasshelookedatthepileofclothing,thenme.
“They’refromthelostandfound.”
Therewasnoanswer,butthedarkeyebrowsrosehigher.
“Noone’scomingbackforthem they’veallbeenthereforever.Takeit,allright?”IshovedthepileintoHalle’sarms beforeshecouldsayno,givinghernochoicebuttoacceptthem
Butshedidn’tpushthembackatme Instead,sheslidherarmsintothecoat,stuffingtheglovesintothepocketforlater Thebeanie,though,shestaredatwithafrown,holdingitbetweenherfingerslikeitwasgoingtocometolifeandbiteher.
“That’smine.”Ichuckled,intuitingthethoughtsbehindherexpression.“Theonlyliceyou’llfindintherearemine.” “Ewww.”Myquipearnedmeanosewrinkledindisgustandalaugh,butshepulleditoverherhead.“Aren’tyougoingto becold?”
Iwavedawayherconcern.“Youknowme Ihaveabeanieproblem.I’mnotevengoingtonoticeit’sgone.”
Hallelaughedagain,quietlythistime,hereyessparklingwithhumor.“Stillhaven’tgonetoBeaniesAnonymous?”
“Notyet.”Iscratchedatthesideofmyhead,wheremyhairwascutclosetomyscalp.
Thensilencefellbetweenusagain,andIwasn’tsurewhattosaytofillit.I’dneverhadaproblemfindingwordswith Halle.Thenagain,thathadbeenalongtimeago.
ButthenHalletookadeepbreathasthoughsteelingherselfforsomething,herfingerslockingtogetheruntiltheskinwas white.Myheartratespikedbeforesheevensaidaword.
“Solook.I’mactuallyherebecauseIleftmyhusbandandneedajob.Youwouldn’thappentohavesomethingopenforme, wouldyou?IknowIdon’thaveexperience ”
“YoucanstartTuesday We’reclosedonMonday,oryoucouldstarttomorrow”Thewordscamefast,withoutmeeven havingtothinkaboutit,onerunningintothenext,soquicklythatHalle’seyesroundedbeforehershouldersfellwithrelief.
“Thanks,Nash.Iappreciateit.Youhavenoideahowmuchyou’rehelpingmeout.Ioweyoubig.”
Ishookmyhead,wavingmyhandtoaddtothenegationofhercomment.“Noway.Youdon’towemeanything.I’llhelpin whateverwayIcan youknowthat”
Halle’ssmilewashesitantbutwarm,reliefstillechoinginherexpression Maybe,possibly,aglimmerinhereyesbefore sheswallowedandtookadeepbreath.“Thanks,Nash.”
Anothermoment’shesitation,andIpulledherinforahug.Shewentstiff,andInearlyletgobeforesherelaxedand wrappedherarmsaroundme Thenherholdtightened,herfingersdiggingthroughthefabricofmyshirt,likeshewasholding onfordearlife.
Westoodlikethatforalongtime,inthedimquietofthebar,untilHallefinallypulledback.Butnotoutofmyarms instead,shestaredupintomyface,oureyeslocked,socloseIcouldfeelherbreathonmyskin Anoddshiftmetthefeelingof herinmyarmsaftersolong,warmandrealinmyarms.
“Thanks,Nash.Imeanit.”
Ididn’tpullherbackintome,thoughIwantedto.“Anytime,Halle.Thathasn’tchanged.Neverwill.”
ButHallehadchanged,andIwonderedwhathadchangedher.
Ifithadanythingtodowiththefreshscrapesonherkneesandthefactthatshehadshownupsuddenlywithnothingbuther clothesandpurse,notevenacoat,Iwasn’tsureIwantedtoknowtheanswer Therewasagoodchanceitwouldbreakmy heart.
CHAPTER 2 IFOUNDTHEKEYINtheplanterbox,justlikeMariehadsaid.Ifitweren’tformymom’sfriend,Iwouldbesleeping,well, Iwasn’tevensurewheretonight WhenI’dcalledmymominapanic,whenthefoghadclearedfrommybrainenoughto realizewhatIwasdoingandthatIhadnoplanbeyond“run,”shehadcalledMaggiefromsomewhereinwarmerclimesforthe winter Abouthalfanhourlater,IgotacallsayingIcouldstayintheapartmentabovehergarage
Ithadcomewithawarning noonehadusedtheapartmentsincehersonhadmovedoutfiveyearsbefore AndasI unlockedthedoorandturnedonthelights,Icouldseewhythecaution.
Thefurnishingswereold,acobbled-togethermixofpiecesthathadseen much betterdays,allcoveredwithalayerof dust Theapartmentsmelledlikenoonehadevenopenedthedoororwindowinhalfadecade
Shuttingandlockingthedoorbehindmeafterstrugglingwiththeoldcasement,Igotawindowopen Afrigidgustofair burstin,makingmeshiver,buttheroomimmediatelysmelledbetter.Acrossthesquareofyard,Icouldseethemainhouse,lit upthoughitwasclosetomidnight rentalguests Iwasn’tsurewhetherhavingpeoplesoclosemademefeelbetterorworse Atleasttherewassomeonethere,buttheywerecompletestrangerstome.HadMarietoldthemIwouldbestayinginthe apartment?
Lookingaroundtheroom,Isnaggedoneoftheold,mismatchedchairsatthetableanddraggeditovertothedoor Ittooka fewtries,butIfinallymanagedtowedgeitunderthedoorknob.Betweenthatandthelock,Ifeltabitbetter.Atleastthat staircasewastheonlywayin thewindowsweretoohighup,and,ifIrememberedcorrectly,therewasn’tanythingtoclimb
ThenIstoodinthemiddleoftheroomandwonderedwhattodonext IhadnoclothesexceptwhatI’dwornandthecoat, gloves,andbeanieNashhadgivenme.Ihadnosmartphone,havingditchedmineatabusstophalfwayhereinplaceofa simplekeypadphone,whichmeantIhadnothingtowatch Iwashungry,too,butaskingNashforfoodhadbeenmorethanI couldhandle.Instead,IgrabbedmylastcandybaroutofmypurseandcollapsedontothehardbedmattresswhileIchewed slowly,hopingtotrickmystomachintothinkingitwasfull
Mystomachgrumbledinstead shotsofwhiskeyonanemptystomachwerenotagoodidea,andIcouldstillfeelaslight buzz.
Outside,Icouldhearthewindmovingthroughbaretreebranches,thesoft,slushysoundofsnowfallingonsnow,andthe faintnoiseofthetelevisionormusicfromthemainhouse Otherthanthat,itwasquiet,a180-reversalfromthedullroarand constantrushofLosAngeles.
Ihadonlybeenbackforafewhours,butIalreadyfeltasenseofbeingathome.Still,itwasstillastrangedissonance,or maybedisbelief,fromoneplacetotheotherinthespaceoftwenty-fourhours Partofmybraincouldn’tquitegraspthatIwas here,notthere,thatIwasinsnowyLeavenworth,Washington,andnot70-degreeLosAngeles.
Iwashere,butwhatdidIdonow?
Notmuchtonight Iwasexhaustedandknewtherewasnowheretogo.EvenifIwantedto,Ihadnocar,andanything withinwalkingdistancerequiredone Ihadnoonetocall,andIwouldn’thaveanythingtoeatuntilIwenttothestorethenext morningtobuywhatevergroceriesIcouldwithwhatlittlecashIhadinmypurse.Maybestopbyathriftstore Icouldn’t exactlyworkatNash’sbarwearingwhatIwaswearingnow AndifIworethesamethingmultipledaysinarow,someone woulddefinitelystarttonoticeandaskquestions.
IhadseenthequestionsIhadseeninNash’seyestonight buthehadn’tasked.WhichIwasgratefulfor.
Iwasn’tevensurewhyIhadgonetothebar,theoneMomhadtoldmehehadboughtafewyearsbefore,exceptthatIwas desperatetoseeafriendlyface
WhenIleftWashingtonforCaliforniaaftergraduatinghighschool,myheadfullofdreams,IknewIwouldmisshome But IhadknownIwasgoingtomissNashevenmore.
Seekingthatfamiliarface,IhadpicturedtheguyIhadknownsincewewerechildren,theskinnykidwithcurlybrownhair andacnescars Thatkidhadn’tbeentheguywhohadcomeoutfrombehindthebartogreetme Ihadseenechoesofhimin Nash’seyes,theblueascrystalasIremembered,andinthedanceofthesmileonhisface.Buthissmilehadbecomedazzling, andskinnyhadbecomemuscularfromwhatIcouldseebeneathhisblackshirt,stretchedoverbroadshoulders,thesleeves drawnbacktorevealforearmsropeywithcordeddefinition.Hehadeventamedhishairwithaclosecroponeithersideofhis head,thetopleftcurlyandslightlytousled
Atleastoutwardly,thenewNashaddedtothefeelingofdissonance Home,butnothome Returned,butnottothesame placeIhadleft.Yes,thebuildingswerethesame,encapsulatedforalltimeasaBavarianvillage.Butthepeoplehadchanged. Momwaslivingsomewhereelse,andfriendshadmovedawaytoother,largercitiesoroutofstatelikeIhad AndNash ownedabarandlookedlikethat likeamanwhenIhadleftaboybehind.
Ajinglingsoundfrommypursedistractedmefrommythoughts,butittookmeamomenttorealizeitwasmynewphone ringing Idugitoutjustasitstoppedringing,butitwastheonenumberIknewbyheart mymom’s
Foramoment,Ididn’tpickup therewerethingsIknewmymomwouldaskthatIdidn’twanttotalkabout ButifIdidn’t pickup,shewouldworry,andthatwasthelastthingIwanted.
Ifinallyhitthebuttontoanswerthecallandliftedthephonetomyear.“Hi,Mom.”
“Hey,sweetheart.Youdidn’tcalltocheckin,soI’mcallinginstead.”Momtriedtosoundcalm,butIcouldheartheslight edgeofconcerninherwords
“Sorry IstoppedforabittoseeNash,justtosayhi IgottoMarie’sabouthalfanhourago”
“YouwenttoseeNash?Howishedoing?”Mom’svoicebrightened.
“He’sdoingwell.Atleast,fromwhathesaidthehalfhourIwasthere.Itlookslikethebarisdoingwell.Helooksgood, too.”
Iwasn’tsurewhyIaddedthelastbutwroteitofftomyexhaustion,whichsuddenlyfeltlikealeadenweightonmy shoulders.Pullinganotherchairoutfromthetable,Isankdown,rubbingatmytemplewithmyfreehandtoforestallthe headachebeginningtoformthere.
“That’sgreattohear,andI’mgladyouwenttoseehim.Iwasabitworriedaboutyoubeingtherealone.”Thecheer slippedfromMom’stone,andIbracedmyselfforthenextquestion.“Iwasalittleconcernedwhenyoucalledmeandtoldme youweretakingabusbackhomeandneededaplacetostay.Andgavemeanewphonenumber.”
ThesilenceattheendofthelinetoldmeMomwantedtoasksomuchmoreaboutwhyIhadsuddenlylefthomeandcome here,whyIneededaplacetostay,whyIhadn’ttoldherIwastakingavacation.
“IjustneedsometimeawayfromJack,Mom,”Isaid,takingchargeofthedirectionoftheconversation.“Wejustneededa littlebreak.”
Itwasn’tthetruth,theoneIhadtoldNash thatIhadleftmyhusband butitwastheonlyoneIcouldsharetonight.The lastthingIwantedtodowasfollowMomdownarabbitholeofquestionsIdidn’twanttoanswerandrealitiesIdidn’twantto face.
“Youneededtimeapart?”Thequestionfromtheotherendofthelinewashesitant,quiet.
“Justalittletimeapart.Everythingisokay,allright?”
Ididn’tthinkeitherofusbelievedme,butthatwasokayfortonight.
“Look,Mom.I’mexhausted.I’mgoingtogettobed,okay?I’mgood.Everythingisgood.”
Ididn’tknowwhoIwastryingtoconvincemore,Momorme,butthatwasaproblemfortomorrow.Orthenextday.Justa timethatwasn’tnow.
“Okay.”Momsighed,butnomorequestionscameoverthephoneline.“Justcallme,okay?Iwanttoknowyou’reokay.”
“Iwill.Ipromise.”AndImeantit.Ididn’twanttogiveMomareasontoworry.Atleast,notanymorereasons.
“AndmakesureyouseeNashmoreoften,okay?Soyou’renotlonely.”
Thisbroughtasmallsmiletomyface,eventhoughIkeptmynewjobtomyself.“Iwill.Ipromise.”
“Good.”AnotherhesitationandanothersmallsighasMomhesitatedtohangup.“Justtakecareofyourself,Halle,okay? Promiseyou’llcallmeifyouneedanything?Dayornight”
“Ipromise Goodnight,Mom”
Ihungupfirst,knowingthephonecallwouldn’tendifIletherchoose,andthentriedtogetoutofthechair Theprospect seemeddaunting,andIhalf-consideredfallingasleepatthetable.ButIwasgettingtoocoldwiththewindowopen.
Haulingmyselfup,Imanagedtotrudgetothewindow,shutit,andslipoutofmyshoes,cringingatthebloodymessof bruisesandblistersmyfeethadbecome Theystillhurt,andIlimpedacrossthefloortofallintobed Ididn’tevenbother removingthecoat itwastoocold,anyway.IfellasleeptothesmellofdustandafaintscentfromNash’shat,oneI rememberedwell,onethatsentaswirlofwarmththroughmeasIslippedintosleep
CHAPTER 3 HOWFARDIDIHAVEtogo? Thesidewalkundermyfeetwouldn’tend,myrunningfootstepsechoingagainsttheshutteredbuildings.Mybreathcamein raggedgasps,myheartpoundingbloodthatrushedinmyears Icouldn’trememberthelasttimeIhadrunthisfar Maybethe highschooltrackteam?ButIwasn’trunningforaplaceontheteamoramedalattheendofthemeet.
HowmuchfarthercouldIgo?HowmuchlongercouldIrun?Mylegswerecramping,thestitchinmysidewasbecoming unbearable,andmylungsburnedwithfire
ButIcouldn’tstop Ihadtokeepgoing,onefootinfrontoftheother Justonemorestep.Thenonemore.Andanotherafterthat.
Theechoesofmyrunningfootstepsmultiplied,bouncingoffmorebuildingsasIcutdownanalley itwasagamble,itwas dark,andIwasalone,butIhopeditwouldthrowanyoneoffmytrail.Butweretheymyfootsteps,orhadsomeonecaughtup withme?
Iriskedaglanceovermyshoulder.ButImissedaboxthathadfallenoutofadumpster,anditsentmesprawlingtothe ground.TheimpactshovedwhatlittleairIhadfrommylungs,andfireinstantlyexplodedinmyknees.Mypurse,whichIhad heldclutchedtome,fellfrommyarms,thecontentsscatteringacrossthepavement.
Gasping,tryingtodrawbreathbackintomystunnedlungs,Icrawledtomyknees,franticallygatheringtheitems.Butmy handsshooksoseverelytheyweredifficulttograsp,andIdroppedseveralbeforescramblingtomyfeet.
Itookoffrunningagain,slowerthistime,inmorepain,mykneespulsingwithfireateverystep,mylungsstilllaboringto gainbacklostbreath.
Brightlightsattheendofthealleyandthebusstationloomedahead,blurringastearsfilledmyeyes Ihadmadeit.
“Youcan’trunfrommeforever,Hal.I’llfindyou.”
Theslurredwordsechoedfromeverywhereandnowhere,andInearlyfellagain,lookingwildlyaroundforthesource.But nooneemergedfromtheshadows,nohandsnakedaroundmywrist,fingersdiggingintotendonsuntilIyielded.
Myheartstillpoundedinmychestfrommymarathonrun,thebloodrushinginmyears,mybreathingraspyenoughtodraw glancesasImoveddowntheaisletomyseat.ThevoicefollowedmeasIsatdown,shiveringasIlookedoutthewindow,and thebusnorthtookoffwithagaspandsquealofbrakes,lurchingforwardhardenoughtosendanotherjoltofpainthroughmy knees.
“I’llalwaysfindyou.”
Ijerked,wideawake,myheartracing.Foramoment,IhadnoideawhereIwas theceiling,thebed,theblanket,eventhe pillowunfamiliar Ittooksittingupandtakingintheroominfrontofme,stilldusty,stillold,stillmismatched
AndIhadneverbeensogratefultobehere
Icollapsedagainstthepillow,armsspreadwide,andstaredattheceiling Echoesofthevoicefollowedme,clungtome, resonatedaroundmeuntilIhadtounclenchmyjawbyforceaspainshotacrossmyjaw,sharpandheated.
Foramoment,Iconsideredgoingbacktosleep.Ihadtossedandturnedwithnightmaresallnight,somethingIhadn’t countedonduringmywildescapeonlyafewdaysearlier,andwasstilldrowsyashell Buttheoldclockradioonthe
nightstandtoldmeIhadsleptlatethankstomypoornight’ssleep,andifIdidn’tgetoutofbed,Iwouldbelateformyfirstday ofwork
And,anyway,lingeringinbed,fallingasleeponlytorelivethatnightrepeatedly,wouldn’thelpanything Instead,Iswungmylegsoverthesideofthebedandforcedmyselftomyfeet BrushingmyteethasImovedaroundthe room,Ipulledoutmyfindsfromthethriftstorethedaybefore.
Ihadn’tgrownupwithalotofmoney,andthriftinghadbeenthewayIhadkeptmyclosetandwardrobefreshandtrendy.It had,infact,inspiredmyloveofdesignandfashion
IthadbeenalongtimesinceIhadsetfootinsideathriftstore,butIhadfoundafewgoodpieces Atleastenoughtogetme throughuntilIhadearnedandsavedenoughmoneytogoagain.
Ihoped,anyway.
Foramoment,staringatthepaltryselectionofclothingandtheevenworsesituationinmywallet,Ihadconsideredcalling Momtoaskformoney ButI’dputmyphonebackintomypurseandhandedoverthecash NotonlydidMomnothavealotof moneyherself,butIwasnotgoingtodragherintothissituation,oneIhadcreatedmyself,anymorethanIhadto.Plus,Iknew questionsIwasn’treadytoanswerwouldcomewiththatmoney
Rinsingmymouthout,Ireturnedtothebedandconsideredmychoices,choosingasweaterdressoverleggingsandthe bootsIhadfound.Thepairhadseenbetterdays,andIwasn’tconvincedtheywouldkeepoutanyofthecoldorsnow,but, well,allIhadtodowasgetovertothebarandback
AglanceattheclocktoldmeIwasrunninglowontime,andIhurriedthroughtherestofmyroutine,severelytruncatedto thefewfindsfromthedrugstoreinsteadoftheparadeofproductsIhadleftbehind.Iglancedatthekitchenandthesmall collectionoffoodIhadcollectedwiththelastofmycash,hopingtipswouldgivemywalletaboostbytheendoftheday ButI decidedagainstbreakfast mystomach,twistedinknots,rejectedthethoughtveryclearly.
Itdidn’thelpthatIcouldstillfeelthelastwhispsofmynightmare,thevoiceechoingaroundthebackofmyconsciousness. GoingaroundwiththisshadowovermewasnothowIwantedtostartmyfirstshift
Thedaywasblindinglycold ormaybeIhadbecomeunaccustomedtothetemperatureinthemiddleofwinteruphere It wasalsoblindinglybright,thesunreflectingoffthesnow,makingitglitterwildly,andIhadtodiginmypurseformy sunglasses Myspillontothepavementhadchippedthepaintonacorner,butatleasttheyhadn’tshattered
AsIhadsuspected,thebootsdidn’tdoathingtokeeptheelementsout,andbythetimeIgottotheTipsyTiki,mytoeshurt fromthecold.AtleastIhadthecoatandgloves,though.AndNash’sbeanie,whichstillsmelledfaintlyofhim.
AsIreachedthedoor,myhandhesitatedonthepull.
IhadworkedvariousjobsfromthetimeIwasfourteen grocerystorebagger,retailintheshopsupanddownFrontStreet, evenatacallcenterforabit,takingcomplaintsandabusewhenIhadstarteddesignschool Butithadbeenseveralyearssince Ihadworkedanytypeofjob,andserverandbartenderwerenotamongthem.
Well,theonlythingIcoulddowastry moveforward,onestepinfrontoftheother. Justonemorestep.Thenonemore.Andanotherafterthat.
Behindthebaragain,NashlookedupasIpushedthedooropen.Fromthewayhisshoulderstightened,Icouldtellhewas gettingreadytotellmethebarwasn’topen,justashehadtheothernight Butthewarningbrightenedtoanenormoussmilethat lithisface.
“Halle.”
Mynameonhislipssaidwithsuchaffectionandeagernessatseeingmesetoffanoddsense,oneofwarmth,andashift,as thoughsomethinghadmovedthathadgonecoldfromneglectalltheseyears Itleftmealittlestunned,andmyfeetstayedglued tothefloorevenasNashcameoutfrombehindthebartowardme.
Andagain,hestoppedjustshortofme,hishandsmovingforamomentlikehewantedtohugmebuthadstoppedhimself.
“I’mgladyou’rehere,”hesaid,reachingouttosqueezemyshoulderbeforeheturnedandgesturedatme.“Hey,everyone, thisisHalle She’sstartingwithustoday,sogoeasyonher,okay?”
Hegavemeoneofhisdazzlingsmilesandwinked,anddespitethenervesflippingmystomachoverandaround,Ismiled back.HowcouldInot?
Igotafewsmallwavesfromtheotheremployeesandevenasmilefromaguymessingwithakegbehindthebar.
“C’mon,letmeshowyouaround.”
IfollowedNash,mybootssquelchingenoughthatadark-hairedwomanwipingdowntablesnoticed.Shehadscarcely givenmeawaveatNash’sintroduction,andherlooknowheldbarelycheckedcontempt,hereyestakinginmyboots,traveling uptomyclothingandjacket.Buttheynarrowedasshesawthebeaniebeforeshejerkedherattentionaway.
Ididn’tunderstandthehostility.DidsheknowthebeaniewasNash’s?Whywouldshecare?
“I’mgladtoseeyou’redressedmorewarmly,”hesaid,leadingmetotheback,andIlaughed.
Nashshowedmearoundtheback,includinghisoffice,thestoreroom,andthekitchen,whereheintroducedmetothecook, Will.
“SoI’mgoingtohaveyoutrailJosepharoundtoday.”
Nashwavedattheguybehindthebar,stillfiddlingwiththekeg.Reliefwashedthroughmeattherealizationthathe wouldn’tputmewiththewoman,andtheguy,Jack,seemedfriendly
“Jo,thisisHalle Showhertheropesbehindthebartoday?”
“Yougotit”Josephsmiledagainandheldouthishandtome “Nicetomeetyou,Halle”
Itookhishandandshookit “Nicetomeetyou”
“Okay,well”Nashclappedhishandstogetherandtookastepback “Ihavesomeworktogetdoneintheoffice,butHalle, letmeknowifyouneedanything,okay?”
“Iwill.”
ThesmileIofferedhimwaswarm,andIhopedhecouldseethethanksinthere,gratefulforthischancetowork.Ihad expectedtogohungryforafewdayswhilesearchingforajob
ButNashdidn’tmoveforaheartbeat,hiseyesonmebeforeheshookhishead,amovesoslightIalmostdidn’tseeit,and disappearedaroundthecornertohisoffice.
Ilookedaroundthebarandtookadeep,steadyingbreath.Readyornot,itwastimetogettowork.
CHAPTER 4 THEREWASSOMETHINGthatIlovedaboutthequietafterlastcall,afterthefinalcustomerhadstumbledoutandIhad lockedthedoor Aftertheday’srushandtheevening’sraucousactivity,theTipsyTikiwastranquil,theTVsoff,thelightsand musicturnedlowasweworkedourwaythroughclosingduties.
Bythetimetheclockstruckone,almostallmyemployeeshadgonehomeforthenight,exceptforHalleandme.Infact,I hadbeentyingupafewthingsintheofficeandhadbeensurprisedtowalkoutandseemyoldfriendstillswipingaragacross thebar.
HopingIwasn’tbeingtoocreepy,Ileanedagainsttheopendoorframebetweenthebackandfrontofthehouseandwatched herforamoment
TherewasstillasurrealelementtohavingHallehere,backinmylife Sincemiddleschool,wehadbeeneachother’s comfortandconfidant,partnersincrimeandeverythingelse,fromfootballgamestoschooldancestohangingoutinasmall townwhentherewasn’tmuchtodo
Hallehadbeeninmylife,andthenshewasgone Butnowshewassuddenlyback Itwasenoughtogivemewhiplash
Andyet,thereshewas,wipingdownthecounterofmybar,herfirstshiftattheTipsyTikiover Andshehaddonewell, too.NotthatI’dhadanydoubt.
Okay,soI’dhadalittlebitofdoubt.
TheHalleIrememberedhadbeenbright,boisterous,andfunnywithawickedsenseofhumor.Shehadbeenfulloflifeand dreams,hereyeonthefuturefarfromanythingthislittletowncouldgiveher,aswithmanyofthefriendswehadgraduated with.
TheHalleherenowwassubduedandwatchful,hersmileslowertoappear.Foratimethismorning,asJosephandIhad shownhertheropes,I’dhadathoughtthatshewasn’tupforajobthatrequiredanenormousamountofinteractionwithpeople, mostofthemstrangers.Thenthefirstcustomershadstreamedinlookingforawarmmeal,adrink,andtimeoutofthecold,and Hallehadseemedtoturnonwhateverspigotneededtoflow
Ihad,ofcourse,checkedonherthroughouttheday,makingsureshewasholdingupallright.ButIhadseenmyanswerin thebrightnessofhersmile,inherfriendlybanterwithlocalsandtouristsalike,inthewayshehadbarelystoppedtoeat.
Andnow,too,sheseemedhappier,brighterthanshehadbeenwhenshewalkedinthismorning.Maybeitwasthehealthier flushofcolortohercheeksorthatshewashummingalongtothelowmusicassheslowly,methodicallypolishedherway acrossthelongbarcounter.
“Youknow,youdon’thavetodothat.Weonlybuffthecounteronceamonth,andIthinkJosephdiditacoupleofweeks ago.”
ThehummingcametoanabruptstopasHalle’sheadsnappedtowardme.Thelookofquietcontentmenthadevaporated instantly,hershoulderstensing,fearechoinginhereyesuntilsherealizeditwasme.Buthershouldersstillroseandfell rapidly.
Holdingmyhandsup,Islowlyapproachedasthoughshewasaskittishdeer.“Shit,sorry.Ididn’tmeantostartleyou.” “No,no,it’sfine.”Herwordssaidonething,heractionsanother shedroppedtheragandputahandtoherchest,looking awayfrommeasshecollectedherself.Whenshelookedupagain,sheofferedasmilethatlackedwarmthanddidn’tquite reachhereyes.“Youjuststartledme.That’sall.”
Startlingwasonething.Halle’sreactionhadbeensomethingdifferent.
“Okay,well ”Iranahandoverthecurlsonmyhead,“Ididn’tevenrealizeyouwerestillhere.Wasclosingupokay?”
Hersmilegrewmoregenuine.“Oh,yeah,noproblems.Josephshowedmewhattodo,andIthinkIgoteverything.He mentionedthebarandthatyouonlydoitonceamonth,but,well,it’smyfirstdayonthejob FiguredImightaswellgothe extramile.”
Laughingasshegrinnedandshrugged,IjoinedherbehindthebartodoublecheckeverythingwasdonebeforeIlockedup forthenight “Youknowyoudon’thavetodothathere,right?Youdon’thaveanythingtoprovetome”
“Maybenottoyou,butIdon’tthinkallyouremployeesarethrilledI’mhere DidyoutellthemI’dneverworkedatabar before?”
Ihadleanedovertocheckthegarnishesinthesmallfridgeunderthesinkwhenherwordscaughtme,andInearlyslammed myheadontheundersideofthecounterstandingup “Whichemployees?”
Hallebackedastepfromme,andIwonderedifIhadsnappedthequestiontoointensely “Whichemployees?”Iaskedagain,thistimewithlessforce ButIwantedtoknowwhatwasbehindtheseeminglyrandom question youdidn’tasksomethinglikethatwithoutastorybehindit.
“Well ”Hallehesitated.
Didsheregrettellingme?Wasshewonderingiftheemployeeswouldgetintotrouble?
“Ijustwanttoknow,Halle.Partofmyjobasthebarowneristomakesureemployeesaregettingalong.Otherwise,we won’thaveagreatworksituationhere”
Isaiditbecauseitwasthetruth Thiswasaboutensuringthingsransmoothlyhere,alessonIhadlearnedthehardway,not aboutHalle.
Well,notjustaboutHalle,anyway.
Butmyanswerseemedtomollifymyoldfriendbecauseshetookuptheragandstartedpolishingagain.“I’mnotsurewhat Ididtogetonherbadside,butthatgirlNicoledoesnotseemtolikemeatall ThefirstthingshedidwhenIwalkedinwas glareatme.”
“Oh.”Yeah,thatmademoresense.Pickingupanotherrag,IswipedatthebarbesideHalle twowouldmakefasterwork. “NicoleandIweretogetherforashorttime Shehadathingforme has,Iguess”
Halle’sragfaltered “YouandNicolehavearelationship?”
Herwordswerelight,alittletooquick.
“Had,”Irespondedjustasquickly.“Anditwasn’treallyarelationship.Weslepttogetherafewtimes.Hungoutafew times.Itwasn’tanything.”
“Oh.”
Iwasn’tsure,butImighthaveheardreliefinthatshortanswer.
“IknowNicolewantedmore,butIbrokethingsoffafewmonthsbackbecauseIneededtofocusonthebusiness.”
Atthetime,IthoughtNicolehadtakenitwell Shehadn’tscreamedoryelled,quitherjobatthebar,orstoppedtalkingto me.ButhadshetakenaninstantdisliketoHallebecausesheknewIhadbeenclosetoherinschool?
“WhereisNicolefrom?”
Halle’squestionpulledmefrommythoughts.
“Here.Leavenworth.Youdon’tremember?”
Sheshookherhead.“No.ShouldI?”
FasterthanHalleatpolishing,Ireachedtheendofmypartofthecounterandstowedtheclothinitscubby.“Nicolewentto schoolwithus Shewasayearbehind,Ithink”
Halle’smouthturneddownwhilealineformedbetweenhereyes,andsheleanedanelbowonthetableasshethought.It wassoadorable,sorecognizable,Ialmostlaughed.She’dwornthatsamelookwhenshewasthinkingsinceIhadknownher. Shefinallystraightened,shakingherhead
“Huh.Ijustdon’trememberher.”Thenshegavealittlelaugh.“Iguessthat’snothelpingmewinherover.”
Runningavisualcheckovertheglasses,IflashedagrinatHalle.“Youneverneededhelpwinningpopularitycontests before.”
Hallehadbeenfriendswitheveryone exceptNicole,Isupposed nomatterwhotheywereorwheretheycamefrom. Shehadalwaysbeenabletogetpeopletoopenup,laugh,andsmile.ItwassomethingIhadalwaysadmiredabouther, especiallyasashykidwhodidn’thavealotoffriendsuntilHalleburstintomylife.
Myjokingnodtoourpastdidn’thavethedesiredeffect,however.Halleofferedmeahalfsmileandreturnedtopolishing thelastsectionofbartop.
“Well,anyway,I’msureshe’llwarmupifyougiveherachance.”
“Yeah,sure.”
Halle’ssnortonlyaddedtotheskepticisminherreply.ButIhopeditwasn’ttrue Nicolecouldn’tkeepupagrudgefor thatlong,right?Shecouldn’tbejealouswhenshewasn’tupsetoverourbreakup,right?
Halledidn’tsayanythingelse,andIwatchedherforamomentmorebeforeIfinishedupmyownclosingchecks
HallewasjustpullingmybeanieoverherheadasIcameoutfromtheback,whereIhadslippedtograbmycoatandkeys andlockmyoffice.
“Hey,waitup,”Icalled,flippingoffthebarlightsandcheckingtheregisteronelasttimebeforeIcrossedtheroomtoward her,thestepsofmymotorcyclebootsloudinthequiet Hallewaspeeringatmeinasilentquestion,hereyebrowsraisedasshe tuggedonhergloves.
“I’lltakeyouhome.”
“Youdon’thavetodothat ”Hallehadalreadybeguntoshakeherhead.
“Idon’t,butIwillanyway.Anddon’ttellmenobecauseIwon’tacceptthatasananswer,soyoumightaswellgetinthe car”
Hallestaredatmebeforelaughingquietly “WhoisthisnewNashwho’sforcefulanddecisive?He’skindahot”She elbowedmeintheside,hereyestwinklingwithhumor.
ItwasmyturntolaughasItwistedthekeyinthelock,theenormousringjinglingloudlyinthesnowyhush.“He’sthekind ofguywho’snotgoingtolethisoldestfriendwalkaroundalonelateatnight,especiallywhenit’ssnowingandfreezing”
Ourbootscrunchedaswewalkeddowntheemptystreet,reflectionsdancingoffthedarkenedstorefrontsaswemadeour waytomyoldJeep.
“Whydidyoustaysolate?Anddon’ttellmeitwasbecauseyouthoughtthebartopneededapolish.”Evenmyvoice soundedquieterwithsnowfallingaroundus
“There’snotalotgoingonbackwhereI’mliving.WhatamIgoingtodowhenIgetthere?Stareattheceiling?”
“Youcouldgotosleep.”
Halle’sgazeslidtome,thenawaybeforesheansweredthattoldmeitwasn’therfavoriteoption,butIhadnoideawhy. “Yeah,Iguessthere’sthat”
Didshenotwanttosleep?TheanswerIsuspectedsentachilldownmybackthathadnothingtodowiththecold.
Thedrivewasn’tlong nothinginthistownwas justoverthebridge,neartheriver,butIwasgladIhadn’ttakenHalle’s noforananswer.Byfoot,itwasstillatwenty-minutewalk,itwasespeciallydarkouthereawayfromtown,andherboots werewetaroundthetoesjustfromourwalktomycar.
Butmorethanthat,Hallewasonedge,justasshehadbeenatthebarwhenIhadstartledher.DidsheknowIcouldsee howhergazeswepttheareainfrontofthegarageasIfollowedheruptothefootofthestairs,followingeveryshadow?Did sheknowhershoulderswereuptoherears,herhandsknottedinherlap? “Halle.”
Ittookamomentforherdistractedattentiontofindme,butIheldhergazewhenitfinallydid.
“What’sgoingon?You’renervous.”Ipointedtoherhands.“You’relookingaroundlikesomethingisgoingtojumpoutat you.Didsomethinghappenwithyourhusband?”
ThewordswerebarelyoutofmymouthwhenHalleclosedherselfoff,hermouththinningassheleanedimperceptibly awayfromme.
“Nothinghappened.Ijustlefthim,likeIsaid.”
Ialmostsaidsomethingandtookabreathtopushfurtherbutswallowedthewordsinstead.IhadafeelingthatifIdid,I wouldloseHalle,andthatwasthelastthingIwanted Ifinallyhadmybestfriendback,andIwasn’tgoingtodoanythingto jeopardizethat.
Notrightnow,anyway.
Instead,Ikissedheronthecheek.“I’mpickingyouuptomorrow.Bereadyateleven.”
Ididn’twaitforhertorespond,makingitclearIwouldn’targue.Watchingherwalkupthestairs,Iwaitedtostartmy engineuntilshewasinside,thedoorclosed
No,Iwasn’tgoingtopushtonight,butsomethingwasgoingon,andIwouldfindout IfeltIhadto,orIwouldn’tlikewhat happened.
“HEY,LOOKATYOU.”
Josephwasgrinningatmeashepulledabeer,thegoldenliquidbillowingexpertlyintotheglass.
“What?”Ilookedaround,wonderingtowhathewasreferring.
Thismadehimlaugh.Hehadagreatlaugh,boomingyetboyish,anditneverfailedtobringasmiletomyface,nomatter mymood.
“No,snowflakebrain.You.Youlooklikeanatural,andyou’veonlybeenhereaweek.”
“Oh.”IttookmybrainaminutetowrapmyheadaroundthecomplimentbeforeIstartedlaughingmyself.“Snowflake brain?”
Josephshrugged.“Itrytokeepmyinsultstameatwork.”
“Butnotathome?”
Thetattooedbartender’swickedgrinwasalltheanswerIneeded,andIturnedaway,twobottlesofbeerinonehand,a plateoftheappetizersamplerintheother.
Joseph’scomplimentfeltgood.IhadbeenworkingattheTipsyTikiforaweekandwasfinallygettingthehangofthejob. Therehadbeenafewhairymoments,includingonewhereIhadforgottenthetricktothetapandbeerhadfloodedthefloor a mistakeapparentlytheentirestaffmadeatsomepoint,includingNash.Ihaddroppedafewplates,gottenmorethanacoupleof orderswrong,andtherewasstilltoomuchfoamontopofthebeersIpulled.ButNashhadshruggeditalloff,sayingeveryone mademistakes,especiallytheirfirstfewweeks.
Andtruetohisword,I’dbegunmakingfewermistakes.Irememberedorders.AndImadesureIpushedthetaphandleall thewaybacksoitdidn’tleak.Ievenhadafewregularswhoaskedformespecificallytomaketheirdrinksorfood,evenifI hadtowhispertoJosephtoaskfortheirspecificorders.
“She’sdoinggreat,isn’tshe?”
Nashwasleaningagainsttheendofthebar,grinning,hisarmscrossed.Imeanttoreply,butmygazelingeredtherefora momenttoolong,takinginthewayhehaddrawnbackhissleevestorevealhisdefinedforearms
Imanagedtotearmygazeaway,onlytofindNash’sgrinhadgrown,tippingslightlyhigheratoneendinamischievous quirk.DidheknowI’dbeenstaring?
Flushing,Inudgedhimoutofthewaywithmyhip,throwingasmileovermyshoulderasIpassedonmywaytothetable.
Thatwasn’tthefirsttimeNashhadcomplimentedmeaboutmyservingandbartendingskills.Thewordsofpraisecame frequently,andtheyboostedmyconfidence Butitwasn’tallaboutme,either Nashseemedtosubscribetotheschoolthat believedinmorepraisethancriticism,eachcorrectionsandwichedbetweentwopositives.
NotthatIwouldhaveexpectedanythinglessfromhim.Hehadbeenunfailinglykindeveninmiddleschool,thosedifficult yearsofchangesanddiscoveries
ButIlikedtheself-assurancethathadgrownalongsidethekindness IhadbeenjokingthatfirstnightwhenI’dsaidhis assertivenesswassexy.Maybesexywasn’ttheword comeon,itwasNash,theguywhohadbeenmybestfriend butithad certainlystirredsomethinginme
